Shocking, Disturbing, Disgusting, Atrocious, and horrifying!!!

These title words are just some of the adjectives used when people hear the true evil of my published story. The many responses, press announcements, Five Star Reviews shared about My Justice’, have been shared around the web for almost two years now. Our world media outlets and our First Amendment Right to Freedom of speech is what enables us to our stories to teach the next generation about the dark destructive evils of mankind!!!

I know very few people ever get their stories noticed in the media; especially if it has anything to do with the most darkest actions of our human society. However isn’t it rather weird that we are drawn to those televised reality shows of addiction, dysfunction and despair, so long as it doesn’t hit in the deepest secrets of our home?

“My Justice’ is a story that rocks the moral fortitude of our human society. It is a story that most don’t want to even think could happen in our small American, hometown style, communities.

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This true life horror story, ‘My Justice’, has now been read by hundreds. It isn’t a life I am proud to have lived by any means, but it is one that I am thankful to have survived!!!

TRUTH: Survivors of abuse, especially years (decades) of evil, violent and vicious degradation, disfiguring neglect, and being passed around to others like a party favor; this is something that is extremely difficult to admit to ourselves. Accepting that our parents are the guilty parties who trained us to be less than human; taught us that nothing about us is worth noticing. We were not raised as children, but merely objects to be used and brutalized; objects for sexual gratification to our parents, friends of the family and those permitted into this secret world. Our human value is never instilled, guided, or protected. It is stripped away from us and ripped from within our being. We believe there is nothing about us that matters and one of the most difficult challenges is to believe we have value or to promote ourselves in any manner!!

I have found my voice, found my strength; found my value as a human being. As hard as it is to pat myself on the back, especially for the truths of subject matter involved; I HAVE FOUND MY COURGE TO SPEAK UP AND REMOVE THE COAL STAINED HAND THAT HELD ME CAPTIVE FOR DECADES, FOR THIS I AM EXTREMELY PROUD!!!

‘My Justice’ has been incredibly reviewed by astounding individuals and the FIVE STAR RATED REVIEWS and comments continue to be shared by those who read the story!!!

Best selling author of geo-political thrillers such as: ‘Den of the Assassins’; ‘Cloning Christ’ and the novel he published from parts of his own amazing journey, ‘Chasing the Cyclone’; devoted child advocate, Founder/CEO of I CARE Foundation, Mr. Peter Thomas Senese has published many outstanding PR Web announcements, Amazon Reviews, and his own many blog shares about his thoughts on ‘My Justice’……….

Renown New York based Attorney Joel Walter has given the story huge praise and a big two thumbs up!!!……….”There are occasions when a book is written that shakes the very foundation you stand on. In ‘My Justice,’ Patricia McKnight has written an excellent, inspiring story of the human spirit. It serves as a reminder of many things. First, the importance for those who fall victim to abuse to stand strong and unashamed in the wake of their ordeal, and to find the courage to liberate themselves from those that chain their body, their mind, and their spirit. It too, is a reminder for each of us in society to not turn a blind eye to abuse, and to say ‘abuse will not be tolerated, ‘My Justice’ is an incredible story of courage and freedom in the wake of those who try to withhold these essential liberties. Clearly it took Ms. McKnight a great deal of courage to break her own personal chains, and to share this remarkable story. This story will impact many who Ms. McKnight knows, and many, many more she never will meet, but who’s lives she will make better. I highly recommend this story as much as I urge others victimized by abuse to emulate Ms. McKnight’s courage.”

Ms. Linda Walcher, a retired teacher of Freeburg Community School system; now a tutor for other up and coming teachers has shared her FIVE STAR RATING of this story……….. “This novel is a teaching of awareness for anyone who has direct contact with children to the extreme tragedy of neglect that is so commonly overlooked, but which can be the beginning signs of something much deeper. As a teacher, a mother, a person who cherishes all children; this amazingly well written novel made me want to scream and beg for others to read the details that are so exceptionally shared in the glorious strength of a child’s words.”

Dr. Brenda-Joyce Orozco Markert_Green- an educator of up and coming therapists has shared her FIVE STAR REVIEW…….. Please pick up a copy and read it. Most people do not understand all of the factors and variables that come into play in abusive situations, and this book spells out many of these. You will get more of an idea of what children who are being abused go through, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well, in order to survive their abusive situations. Trish also describes the abuse that she survived in her adult life, which points out the dynamics that play out in adult abuse situations also. Once you pick up the book, you will not be able to put it down! This is a must-read, and one that everyone should share with others, so that we can eradicate both child abuse and partner abuse! 

Dr. Brenda, also personally shared with me her desire to use this story as a recommended reading source for her students to see inside the silent child and survivor who struggles to exist in her daily life.

The absolute best quote I can share about ‘My Justice’ is from Ms. Darlene Jones, Exec. Director of Violence Prevention Center of Southwestern Illinois, whose comments were video taped by News Channel 5, KSDK videographer/reporter Kevin Held, as we spoke at S.W.I.C. about the Illinois Healthcare Grant they received to provide education, prevention measures and assistance to victims of abuse and/or family/relationship violence. Unfortunately however, the final published cut of the video did not share her beginning words about the story.

Ms. Darlene Jones, Exec. Director
Author/Advocate/Survivor Patricia A. McKnight

Her special words: ‘If Patricia’s story would have been shared just ten years ago, we’d be hearing her share it on the Today Show’!!!

I cannot say enough about how much this means to me, but there is much more to be said about the value of this novel. There are many hundreds and even thousands who have connected with me simply because the power of sharing my story has given them the courage to speak their own truth. Every day there are survivors, victims, followers, even personal friends who have been so deeply shocked at this story, so incredibly moved by this story they have been impacted in ways that have changed their world. At one time they may have been one of the many still held in that heavy steel cage of silence. Once they may have been someone who turned away and pretended not to notice these evil acts around them, but now they have been empowered with voice and they are passing that inspiration forward to others and all of us are finding the courage to stand against these crimes. The greatest power of sharing these horrifying details is the very public apology I give to my children throughout the story, which was my greatest inspiration; to explain the why of all the turmoil and dysfunction that flowed in to invade their lives because of the ignored, abused, trafficked child then became their mother.

‘Yes I am one of those millions in our society who was once a victim of these vicious abuses by those entrusted with my care’!!

My Justice’ has inspired victims to reach out and seek help. Survivors who have been trapped in these dark secrets for years have now been empowered to speak up and come forward. A few of these incredible survivors who have reached out to me and stated they’ve been inspired with hope by my story; have also been sharing their own secrets and touching the souls of other victims. They are journalists, bloggers, advocates, Facebook support group leaders and founders, such as; Viga Boland, Mary Graziano, Patricia Caldwell-Singleton, Michal Madison and Janice Meadows-Hedrick, Author Sharon Newkirk-Wells, of course this is just to name a few off the top of my head.

I am continually truly amazed by the wonderful strength of these voices. For me to feel like ‘My Justice’ has been not only highly praised and reviewed by some of these astounding every day friends, gives me hope and fills my spirit with drive to continue supporting them, while driving forward to reach out to our media outlets about the importance of making it public. One day it will shine for the many well written qualities it carries and the spirit of the survivor who has walked this amazing journey to freedom.

To all of you who have read my many blogs, read the novel, heard my voice on blog talk radio or connected through private messaging or phone calls; you have all made a huge impact on my world!!! There is no way that I can ever thank you enough for sharing your support, kindness, and most of all for finding your voice to speak your own truth!!! I am forever indebted to each of you. Perhaps one day we will live long enough to see it all make a difference!!!

There is more that has come from publishing my story two years ago. Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery has been built because of all of you who have reached out to me and shared your own journey. Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery has been built because of all the interviews written; some already published, some still waiting to be published, but without you I never would have believed in this dream or built this site to provide information, resources, and help others understand the wounds we carry from the traumas of our past. To take what I’ve learned through life’s journey and know that it matters; to know it is helping in a greater mission; to inspire some human kindness, to give hope to many who have had none; this is much like the bond and deep self appreciation of giving birth, which is exactly what has happened.

I have found and given birth to the me who has been hiding inside and this new child will never be held in silence again.

There is also the connection I have made with those other shining survivors who have come before me to share their stories and carry a devotion of advocacy and change, a mountain of hope filled with information and inspiration for our society. These many who I highly respect and hope to one day have all of us sharing our stories; hearing them and reading them through our many media outlets, which then allows it to penetrate our society and climb into the cracks of our homes, giving hope to those trapped inside that there are others fighting for their freedom from these atrocities.

There are millions of these incredible survivors who know the depth of pain and evil that our own parents and those who walk among our society as law abiding citizens, pillars of the community, or worse those who are seen as vicious souls, but not one person around them ever worries about the children within their care.

Some of those who I respect most for their courage to make a difference are; Annie O’Sullivan, Michael Skinner, Lynn Tolson, Paula Phelps, Jan Frayne, and of course Miss Erin Merryn who is making great changes by the enactment of Erin’s Law across the country!!!.

As I said, its difficult for a survivor to believe it matters and market themselves and their incredible work to reach the hearts of society. Someone could make a ton of money by choosing to market these survivor stories. Of course I’m speaking for those of us who don’t already have some type of marketing resource for our voices to be heard.

The Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Talk Radio is out to help get those voices out there and allow them to be heard. We want to share your story and share the amazing work you have dedicated to making a difference. I hope each of you will join me as a guest or co-host for a live broadcasting. It is vital to bring these stories out, let society see our numbers, and bring an ease of topic and discussion about the darkest of these ugly actions from one human being against another.

It all matters because of the growing epidemic of abuse and family violence/relationship violence that is still plaguing our society today and it just keeps getting worse. Mankind is destroying the moral fortitude that lies within us all. We are still living in the hell that generations before us have taught and passed forward, yet very few stories are ever heard and rarely make it to the news and other media outlets.

We have created our own manmade cancer and it has been festering in the silence, eating away at our society for centuries. Now we have the opportunity to change what has been. Our choice to do the right thing and teach our children through the stories of our past, is the only chance we have at bringing an end and giving them a better, safer, world in which to flourish.

You don’t see our stories make it to the New York Times Best Seller List. These truths are not read about in the Time magazine. They are not read about or reviewed in the Chicago Tribune, the LA Times, or the Riverfront Times here in the St. Louis area. Even our televised talk shows such as The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Ricki Lake, Dr. Phil, or Dr. Drew, and The Today Show; all of these turn away from the growing numbers of voices who are sharing these truths. Here in St. Louis area we have St. Louis Today, or Great Day St. Louis, but none of these will broach the subject of sharing a special on these dark pasts, which are incredible stories of survival. It truly makes me want to stand up and scream at the top of my lungs, hoping to reach every person within 500 miles of my voice; “Dammit it Matters People’!!!

We continuously see commercials for the Humane Society and the ASPCA; the abuse, malnourished, abandoned creatures of these dysfunctional homes are given more attention and supported by our financial donations, but the children and abused, beaten souls within the homes are left to rot in the plague of evil actions.

Isn’t our society at all shocked by the horrific nature of these brutal acts within our homes? If not, shouldn’t we be? The longer we remain silent about these vicious attacks within our own homes, the longer we allow our children and future generations to be destroyed!!!

These horrific nightmares still continue to infect the lives of our children every second of every day. The Illinois Department of Children and Family Services released the 2012 PDF file reports, which show 218 Children Murdered by acts of physical or neglectful abuse, yet there is only minimal response from our politicians and lawmakers who have the power to make a difference.

Was there a response to the email I sent to our President Barrack Obama? – No

Was there a response from the THREE PAGE LETTER and copy of ‘My Justice’ that I personally mailed to our beautiful family oriented First Lady Michelle Obama? – No

Was there a response to the video I made as a public plea for help to Dr. Phil? – No

Was there a response to the email I sent to our Senator Dick Durbin? A very basic return email was received, stating quite simply; ‘Thank you for your interest’. REALLY????

Has Congress yet passed Protect our Kids Act? – No

Have our Senate and House Representatives yet given the approval and passed into action the Reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act? – No

Perhaps we are turning away from these evil brutal truths because there are so many millions, if not billions, who still walk in the silence of these crimes today? Perhaps we do not want to open the door to all of these stories because we are afraid it will hit too close to home and we will realize there is someone we know; someone who is close to us; someone we love; perhaps even our own children who are still struggling to survive these atrocious acts of evil?

If we do not bring these truths to the forefront of our discussions then how will we be able to convince our kids it is safe; they CAN talk, they CAN speak up, they DO NOT have to feel ashamed of what’s happened to them. How can we empower our kids with the greatest weapon they hold; their voice? IF WE ARE NOT PUBLICLY TALKING ABOUT THESE STORIES AND THEIR GROWING NUMBERS, HOW CAN WE TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO SPEAK UP FOR THEIR OWN PROTECTION? How can we possibly teach them there is no shame if we are still turning away, pretending not to see or hear; whispering about the acts, but yet telling our kids there is nothing to be ashamed of, it is not their fault?.

We cannot remove the stain of shame on these victims until we can talk about it comfortably ourselves. What example of decency are we giving them if we are still whispering about the crimes of abuse and violence within our homes? I believe it continues to drive into our children that they must remain silent rather than reveal their rapist is their father, or their mother, or even their sibling. It’s alright to come forward and speak when it is someone outside the family unit, be it a teacher, minister, coach, boy scout leader; admitting this and charging them publicly is an act of courage and they should be proud of those they saved from falling prey to these monsters, but stay quiet if it is one of us who is attacking you and beating you, raping you, molesting you; don’t air your dirty laundry is what we are still teaching our kids today.

Excuse my blunt nature, but this is not a crime we survivors have committed; it is a crime that has been committed against us!!! The acts of child rape, molestation, beating, neglect, murder; the acts of beating and degrading, controlling and attempting to murder our spouses or partners; these are all crimes, but yet they are never heard in criminal courts. These acts are dealt with in family courts. Why? If it is a stranger who pushes me, punches me, attacks me in any manner, then it is a criminal case. However; if my father rapes me, my mother beats me and the entire community around me refuses to see the harmful neglect of rotting teeth, filthy hygiene and growing disgust of flesh eating infection, then all of this should be kept quiet. Never again will I be silent about what those around me did and those within my community either watched it happen or they took part in the trafficking of a child. They ignored the horrifying screams of me begging my husband to please stop beating me. They pretended not to see the face so beaten that it was beyond recognition and the broken ribs, collar bones, and severe bruising that covered my body was all just a ploy for attention. Really?????

To all of you incredible survivors who have fought through the madness that is inflicted by these crimes, I say to you;

NEVER GIVE UP!!! Our stories may never make it to be great success stories, but I guarantee you that each of your stories are touching the lives of those who read them. We are opening up the door so that others can see the horrific destruction that is caused by these acts. Your stories are being whispered about, but they are touching the lives of other victims and relieving the burden of shame they carry. Your stories and mine are making a difference ONE SOUL AT A TIME and we will make an impact on the generations to come. We are all saving the life of someone we don’t even know and rescuing those who live trapped in this hell. 

My choice to speak up was made for my children so that I could help them understand and see the person who lies within their mother. My choice to break free from the trained pattern of accepting these violent acts against me was because of the desire to give my children a better way of life. The choice I make right now to commit the rest of my years as an advocate is done for the children yet to come. It is a hope that things will change, that our society will see what is happening; our children falling apart and the surge of mental despair that is exploding around us; this is my drive to build what I feel is my path, my destiny. It helps me to take the thirty years of brutal and almost deadly attacks I’ve survived, then turn it all around into something as precious and gentle as a butterfly coming to life.

Now is the time for all of us to climb out of the darkness of our cocoon and soar into the possibilities of a better life. I am one of the many, one of the devoted, now one of the strong adamant souls who are spreading my wings and flying through the wonderful freedom of safety and happiness, which of course is something we were all intended to have as we took our first breath of life.

Live Strong & Fly Free

© Patricia A. McKnight

Advocate/Author/Speaker/Writer/Talk Radio Prod & Host/Survivor

Founder/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Survivors World online support group

Generation No More

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery

http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

My Justice’ is available through most online book resources

Authorhouse.com/Barnes&Noble/Amazon/Lulu

Paperback, E-Book, Kindle & Nook Versions

Dear Mr. President…..

In the FFY 2011 the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data Systems (NCANDS) recorded the demographics for 3,712,034 reports of child maltreatment across the country. Sadly, because of the low number of Child Protective Service workers (being only 33,000), and because a single call taker on each of these reports was permitted to make the determination as to whether or not the report warranted any further investigation, and whether or not the report met the required individual state’s mandated guidelines; our system allowed 2,360,614 of these reports to be written off as Unsubstantiated without any further investigation needed. Even more horrifying Mr. President, is that in the overall 3.7 Million calls only 0.1% of these were found to be false claims. How can we wipe away 2.3 million reports without a 2nd or even 3rd opinion to determine the need for further investigation? How when the proven total of false claims is less than 1% of all reports; how can we say as a country that we did our best to protect our children?

Mr. President, it is with the utmost respect for what you have been able to achieve in your service as our 44th American President, which I come to you as a citizen, a survivor of horrific child maltreatment witnessed and allowed by an entire community for 9 consecutive years, while attending the same school system; yet not one single person cared enough to enforce the enacted child maltreatment protection laws to help rescue me from the monsters who were my parents.

Mr. President, I write to you today as a strong advocate against all abuses of this nature. I have taken what nightmares I endured as a child for the entire twelve long years and turned this into a published autobiography in the memoir ‘My Justice’, which I’m ecstatic to share has been used to teach upcoming marriage & family therapists; reached into the hearts of medical professionals, and has impacted the lives of hundreds of survivors who have been inspired to also begin their recovery and heal their own inner wounds from the lifetime histories of abuse and evil.  Also, in a drive to empower the community & family friends to stand as defenders and report all suspicions of abuse; child maltreatment, I’ve founded a new service, which is self funded, supported by incredible advocates across the country, and now a true resource; Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery. Everyday I connect, support, mentor survivors who are struggling through the lifelong impact of P.T.S.D., depression and many other mental health difficulties.There have been speaking engagements and trainings on how I can best help to assist families, victims, survivors to move past what has happened and the trauma which invaded their lives. At the same time I’ve continued my mission of self study of these impacts, our laws, and ongoing local community work to better assist and introduce our local services to our citizens so they understand the who and how of helping someone in a moment of need. In truth, Mr. President, I will give my last breath to make sure that I am doing all I can to educate others, support those suffering, and prevent all I can from happening to our children today.

It is crucial Mr. President that we begin today as a strong country to end the evil crimes we commit against our children and the loved ones in our homes. In order to ensure that all crimes of this nature are being handled appropriately and that all states are ready to join in this mission, I beg you Sir, please create a federal reform of the mandated child maltreatment reporting guidelines, so that we are meeting the very best of these protections and investigations for the well being of our continued generations. We can no longer pretend not to know or recognize when a child is being harmed. Throughout centuries we have permitted and tolerated these types of crimes to fester in the taught silence within our families and protecting the abusers by blaming the child victims and brushing it off as if it doesn’t matter. This has now become our own man-made created and tolerated cancer which has invaded generations of lives. The Center for Disease and Control reports about 50 million citizens living as survivors today, which generates a cost of approximately $124 Billion a year for the lifetime recovery of these brutal crimes.

It is now that we must absolutely create a FEDERAL WATCH FOR THE PROTECTION OF ALL CHILDREN. It is in doing this that we need to create a strict standard of investigational steps which must be followed through on absolutely every single report of child maltreatment. If we do not demand that all responsible adults protect the children around them and report the abuses or violence against children, then we are accepting that our children are not worth the time to investigate and mandate their protection. I beg every citizen to not allow the pedophiles and monsters to control the lives & create the nightmares our children will carry into adulthood and then they are the ones in control. What will we tell them, all of them? How many more lives will we permit in the destruction which invades their adult skills and ability to function?

In respect,

Sincerely,

Patricia A. McKnight

Author: My Justice

Founder/C.E.O. – Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Advocate/Speaker/Consultant/Radio Host/Survivor

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio

If you pray, won’t you join me…….

biopic3 It’s not a prayer for me, but rather our society as a whole. If you pray in any form please join in and pray with me now.

Dear Lord, help us now in our vision of peace that we may help those who are still forced to live in the pain from those who should protect and love them. Let the wounded heal so that they become strong, positive parents, to guide their children in your forever empowering light.

Thank you everyone…….

Hello Everyone, I enjoy so much receiving my weekly inspiration. Now I hope this post reaches out to many others. When I sit and think about what I would truly like to have others pray about, it doesn’t come down to praying for or about me, but rather our society as a whole and even more so my children. Four years ago I began a brand new journey in my life in finding out who I truly was. It meant starting from the beginning, which then led into sharing about the horrifying childhood pain I endured. Sadly I was a child whom an entire town of people refused to see as human. My mother left me to rot as I was unable to safely bathe in my own home. My skin began to rot away in the filth and developed a very nasty infection which the scars now cover most of my body. It literally ate me away in his repeated ugly attacks and using me to share with his coworkers, the husbands and sons of my mother’s closest friends. They all enjoyed coming to our house for late night parties with the child who should have been sleeping for school the next day. The long-term impact from all of this is that it became a normal path of life for me. There were husbands and boyfriends, all who attacked me and most who beat me almost daily just because they came home angry and drunk. The impact this pattern had on my children, the fear as they hid in the closet waiting for the battle to end and their mom to come tuck them into bed with her face all distorted and swollen from the punches she had to take. My children are still having such difficulties in their adult lives and sadly this is having another cycle of dysfunction in their young lives. How do I stop this? How do I turn it all around? The book I published, ‘My Justice’, was all about the beginning of opening up my soul to the horror of what was my life, but it was even more so an explanation and an apology to my children for how all the trained acceptance in my life, then influenced their little minds because of what they had to witness. Where does it end? Does God hear my voice when I cry out to him for it all to just stop? Why is my family still living in this? How do I help them turn it all around and find their sustainable happy life; working, living, caring for their children, and growing more wise in their own development? When you pray for the child, woman, mother who was trained to be an object, trained to accept cruelty, degradation, and repeated attacks; please pray for my children. I am safe today, I am loved, and I am working hard to not only find my peace but in helping others throughout society to understand the true life altering impact of these types of acts which most commonly occur within our homes. Pray that the child next door is safe. Pray that the couple down the street are not beating each other and instead are learning to respect and love one another. Pray for our human society that we understand these acts have been going on for centuries within our homes, but that we as responsible humans have the ability to stop it all. We can begin supporting and lending a caring ear or hand to the victims, we can help by reporting even when it is a family member who assaults that child, woman, mother. All children grow up and we have to ask ourselves, what type of influence do we want to leave in their lives? Please pray that one day the world or even just one person around us will see the need for help and they will react to assist those who are being harmed. Please pray for those who face such nightmarish attacks day after day then go to school pretending they are NORMAL, their life is NORMAL, their home is NORMAL. Cruelty and vicious sexual attacks against a child should NEVER be normal. Please pray, thank you :) Patricia A. McKnight. Author: My Justice; Owner – Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery. If you or someone you know is looking for someone who understands, without ever any judgment, please check out our website for step to recovery ever person can begin used right at this very moment. Thank you <3

If you would like to connect with me for help, support, a safety plan for rescue or just would like to share the journey; here are some links of where you’ll find me.

 coverkindle Patricia A. McKnight

Author: ‘My Justice’

Advocate/Mentor/Speaker/Trainer/’Steps to Recovery’

Owner: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Email: trish.mcknight@live.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

Linkedin:  http://www.linkedin.com/in/patriciaamcknight/

Announcement Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio

 

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We have shared many broadcasted programs during these past 18 months and I am so grateful to the many guests, chatters, supporters who have joined us or have shared our shows. In truth, I absolutely love doing radio. It’s an exciting way to continue passing the crucial need for grassroots community resources to provide assistance for victims, survivors & families who have been touched by some form of abuse, violence, trafficking, bullying and the many other types of personally violating crimes.

It saddens me to announce we are no longer going to be broadcasting, but I feel it is the best decision at this time. One, is the need for me to focus on my writing. Two is the need for funding to continue the premium broadcasting programs which have been enjoyed by listeners around the world, especially Wednesday’s Survivors World. It has been such a connecting and healing opportunity for each of us and I am grateful to have had this opportunity.

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery will be here to help anyone in need, no matter if we are on radio or not. Our organization is about supporting those in need and helping to educate about the true impact from these types of traumas. We will continue our training, our support, our awareness mission and the connections that have been made through our work.

Continuously I share my own journey as well as the information I learn in other specific trainings, which have focused on Sexual Assault, Mandatory Reporting, Human Trafficking, Elder Abuse, Domestic Violence & Child Abuse. I wanted to be sure to provide the very best assistance for the many hundreds of families, victims & even more survivors who have contacted me  over these past 4 years. The educational trainings I’ve taken have given me the ability to disconnect from my own personal trauma when assisting those in need. It is difficult at times to assist with the many levels of trauma and the personally emotional wounding left in its aftermath, so the trainings give the expert knowledge shared by states across the country.

Our radio programs have given us the opportunity to reach around the world, empower many to find the courage to break their silence about the ugly family secrets which have haunted their lives and even made parenting their own children difficult at best. It is my personal hope that as a human society we will begin to see just how valuable our children really are. They are precious souls who depend on the adults around them to protect them and guide them through to adulthood. Sometimes, as wounded parents, we are triggered throughout different levels of our children’s lives, which then impacts the way we connect with them and see their developing ways. In finding the courage to begin our own healing we  find the ability to positively influence their lives in the manner we wish in our hearts.

Please readers, I do hope that if nothing else touches your heart in all the work we do as an organization; you will empower the many wounded souls you come in contact with to believe they deserve true happiness. However, to achieve that happiness we must first learn that at no time should anyone ever have the power to harm you, condemn you, or trap you in their inflicted pain. Every human being is created for a purpose, but that purpose is NEVER to be the victim of this type of cruelty. You can and will achieve your own healing, your own dreams, your own freedom when you make the decision to end the abuses and harm against you. Make the call to report the offender. Make the call to a resource of support to help you through. You do not have to go through professional counseling to heal the wounds of your trauma. You simply need a friend who will support you in your journey, believe the trauma you’ve endured and the many impacts it has left on your perceptions, lack of boundaries, and the decisions you make.

You can and will achieve your freedom, positively influence and guide your children, become the strong spirit you were intended to be, and most of all find your own path to happiness, but first you must be willing to face the trauma and learn to understand how these types of harm actually leave their own mark on the young developing minds and souls of the child you once were. Grab hold of a hand, take a deep breath, get ready to face the darkest of days; walk the path into your own true light. It may not be perfect, but there is certainly a light on the other side of this harm and you deserve to follow the rainbow of life and love waiting there in your healing journey.

Life is a miracle not to be wasted, you deserve roses in your magical garden!!

Call a resource of help, hope, and healing today!!! You could save your life or the life of someone you know and love. Let no person be trapped in the cruelty and condemnation of abuse, violence, human trafficking or bullying. There is help on the other end of these listed, trusted, and nationally recognized resources. Be your own hero today!!hotlines (2)

You are strong – You are courageous – You are worthy – You are magical

Be safe, live strong, always fly free!!!

youarenotalone

All information published in connection with Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio is protected under the development of our organization and copyright founded Sept. 2012

Patricia A. McKnight

Owner/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Programming

Founder Survivors World Support Group Nov. 2010

Speaker/Trainer/Writer/Radio Host & Producer

Mentor/Peer Counseling/Advocate

Author: ‘My Justice’ – Finally removing the thick coal stained hand that crept in an stole the most powerful weapon of my safety; taking back my power and finally speaking my own truth.

 

 

Can you hear the children screaming???

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coverkindle.jpgThese are pictures of my past, but now have become pictures of my present day life. Yes, the Breese Journal, Belleville News Democrat, and even KSDK News 5 have all done articles or have shared video from local speaking events. Today even the FBI Victims Services & Citizens Academy have recognized what I am doing here locally (Clinton County Illinois) and as a Trainer in Human Trafficking, Certified Domestic Violence Advocate, Child Abuse Prevention Specialist, and ‘Steps to Recovery’ presenter; what I do to help others is a constant area of work for me today. It is crucial, as in URGENT we begin paying attention to what goes on in our surroundings and circles. There is not enough we can do independently in everyday concern and respect for another, which will outweigh what has been passed on throughout centuries in the acts of domination over another.

My story is one which comes from a life growing up in Freeburg, Illinois during the years from 1970 through 1980, a period of ten years as a child living in a publicly displayed nightmare of horrific abuse, child sex trafficking with community members; actually husbands and sons who were co-workers of my stepfather, schoolmates of my brothers, and directly related to some of my mother’s best friends. The actions of my stepfather were never hidden, as my mother and stepfather truly didn’t care, who did or didn’t know, about how they used and tortured this one middle child in their care. There were so many individuals who were involved with or knew about how I was being used that I can’t even remember how many hands have touched me. Many times I’ve been hit with memories and even shared some of the direct evils inflicted in the true story written in ‘My Justice’. What’s worse however is what has been triggered in my subconscious by permitting myself to travel back in time to reveal the ugly family secrets I’ve carried throughout my life. Those who know me from this town remember little things here and there. Schoolmates have contacted me after reading ‘My Justice’ and all share remorse about what they as children, didn’t recognize, but they remember how my parents used me, isolated me in family responsibilities that went as far as to answering the ring of that little brass bell. Some have contacted me and stated ‘I knew something was going on, but Trish, I had no clue how vicious the life you spent in that home really was.’ Sadly the adults who know my parent’s and, especially my stepfather,only one or two have reached out with words of sorrow or statement about any of what I wrote in being untrue.

Even my own mother, who is still alive, has asked but a few questions, the most ridiculous of those is, ‘How would you like me to talk about a few SECRETS about you?” Thanks Mother, that statement in and of itself validates everything I’ve shared about all that happened and what YOU took part in the training of your little girl whom you helped develop as his forced child whore. How dare you Mother? Do you see what you have done to your child? Do you see just how ugly and brutally neglecting you were? You threatened to SUE me; REALLY MOTHER!!! Step up and claim yourself as being my mother, the mother of all mothers who would allow such evil against one of your own children, but hell you never really cared about any of them!! All you were worried about was the fact you had someone to put a truly evil roof and dysfunctional views for your children. Why was I the only one you allowed him to target in these evil acts? Why was he not ever put in jail? Why didn’t some of your circle of ‘FRIENDS’ ever say a word, or what excuse did you give them for their questions? You probably told them you were the VICTIM. All you ever focused your attention on was what you wanted to make you happy. You knew you could make him do anything, or was I part of that bargain? I hope these questions reach you, since you will not permit me any form of concern or apology, you have given me VALIDATION and for that I guess I can do nothing but at least thank you for that.” your daughter, ‘Trecia Ann’ – Now I am a published author, now I have even developed my own source of business as prevention and awareness, support and information for all those communities today. Are you proud of me yet mother?

Today I find it also validating to hear from others who knew me as a kid, who share with me statements their parents made, such as; ‘I always wondered why that man was so mean with that little girl’, ‘I remember how he used to always take her with him out drinking and hanging out at the bars’. In truth, I was the girl their sons were not allowed to date and their daughters were not permitted to befriend. I was the girl that the boys, groups of them, knew they could come to, either one on one or together, to use in games of ‘Post Office’ where each one had a chance to see how far they could go and just exactly what I would allow them to do with me. There is one childhood friend who started reading ‘My Justice’ and when they got to the part about the one time I spent the night at a slumber party and the only nightgown I had was the see-through little cotton gown purchased by my stepfather at ‘Victoria Secrets’, which my mother permitted him to buy as a gift for me. Well, this friend had to throw the book down and was sickened by what suddenly became the reality of the girl she knew so well. At this time I was just twelve years old, it was his favorite age; the age where my body started to grow into a young woman, the breasts changing and pubic hair just starting to grow. It makes me sick as I think back on it even at this very moment.

Malcolm, ‘Walter in the book’, which I changed names to protect siblings; however, not a single sibling will even talk to me today. My brother condemned me a long time ago, at least ten years ago and has not spoken a word to me since. He only sees my stepfather’s trained whore when he looks at me, says my actions make him sick because I do not live up to the standards of his perfect little life. My younger sister, used to connect and was willing to talk with me about how dysfunctional our home was as a result of the severe alcoholism and mental health disorders in our parents unfolded. She would discuss her emotions of how it was for her after I left, when she was just nine. I say to them both, ‘Neither of my siblings have endured anything remotely close to the harm they witnessed against me.’  Its validating enough for you to discuss the raging alcoholic who was so vicious and the parties, which kept her awake all night.

Mona, ‘Shirley in the book’, is the mother who turned against her own child and abandoned her in the evil of his touch. She has read ‘My Justice’ and repeatedly tried to reach out and talk with me, threatened to sue me, and worst of all; ‘How would you like it if I went around a told a few secrets I knew about you? How about if I tell them how I used to have to go searching for you dirty clothes? How about if I tell them about the boy who climbed through your bedroom window and caught you having sex with him at just thirteen?’ She has not once apologized, she has never denied any of it at all. When she found out about the time he shut me up forever by using his favorite shotgun barrel to take my virginity while my brother and sister lay downstairs watching their favorite show; all she had to say was ‘That sounds like something that sick son-of-a-bitch would do’. She admits that she was warned by his own son from his first marriage about how evil and disgusting he was, yet she chose to marry him and allow him complete control over just one of her children, her young daughter who was just then five years old.

It was a lifetime of haunting by a monster. He would prowl around in the dark like a lion hunting his prey. He would beat me for having boyfriends, and stalk me even after I had grown up, had children, moved out and gone through my first divorce. He even hunted me down to smash my head against the truck window and dash, drag me across the very public street, call me every name he could think of as the neighbors watched and did nothing. The boyfriend I was dating, whose father’s house we were at, simply said; ‘He’s here for you, outside screaming your name. You really have to go now.’ This man preyed again when I was forty years old, had just lost everything I had due to an illness (Pulmonary Embolism), which caused me to be out of work and depend on credit only to take care of my children; well I ended up at my mother’s house to stay in her basement till I was able to get settled again. Guess what happened, guess who prowled around outside the basement shower room which I was told I absolutely had to use, because her bathroom with a lock on the door was completely off limits? She told me he couldn’t climb down those stairs anymore. The bed I was supposed to sleep in was the very same bed I had used as a young teen, even had the same yellow lace bedspread. She would not permit her granddaughter who desperately wanted to travel with me; Mother simply stated; ‘I am not responsible for anything that might happen, so don’t you start your shit’. SHE KNEW!!!! Mother has never denied a single event or action of her neglect for all basic human necessities. She never apologized and in fact there was one slip of the tongue when she stated, ‘You got the life you deserved’, ha-ha really Mother????

You see, I am the one left today with many broken parts still inside. I doubt they will ever fully be able to heal, and some well the scars are so deeply embedded there is no magic surgery from any specialist around that can give me back any sense of normalcy as I look at my reflection everyday. You’ll see in this brief video the horrifying skin which covers my body today. I am left with scars inside and out that will never be able to be erased or healed, the child they tried to destroy and the one an entire community allowed to simply rot away. You will be horrified by this brief video – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Rpt_oHU5NM The Rot of Abuse, uploaded by Patricia A. McKnight

We as a society continue to ignore the hundreds, thousands who are sharing stories of evil today. You can search the net and find video after video, story after story, of lives destroyed and many who are now so extremely wounded by these acts they cannot even be parents to their children. Some so broken into actual separate personalities developed to protect them from the extreme trauma they endured. I ask you all, media, literary agents, book promoters, local press, organizations who defend children or rescue them; ‘When will all of this be enough to create a society strict on its punishments and supportive in recognition of the surviving souls today?” Help share the many stories today; let no child suffer in silence and become your own defender of children. Allow their screams of mercy and rescue be heard!!!! Our children are not expendable, they are not sex objects, they are not household slaves to be beaten and tortured for the slightest infraction. They are person’s waiting for us to lead them through growing to become the next generation in charge of our society. Let the monsters be known and protect our country’s children as one united force against these types of evil. No more can we ignore their screams, their tears, their secrets being shared today.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I pray there is a path for ‘My Justice’ and the many other survivors who are finally speaking out for their freedom and their recovery today.

Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight

Owner/CEO Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Author: My Justice’  READ THE FIRST FIVE CHAPTERS COMPLETELY FREE!!!!

Mentor/Crisis Resources/Speaker/Child Abuse Prevention & Steps to Recovery Trainer Member: Southwestern Illinois Human Trafficking Task Force Board Development Member: Illinois Victims Assistance Network (I.V.A.N.)

(c) Patricia A McKnight

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Sept. 2012

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art via www.michalmadisonart.com

My Justice Read by Author Patricia McKnight 01/20 by Fire Talk Production | Politics Progressive Podcasts

My Justice Read by Author Patricia McKnight 01/20 by Fire Talk Production | Politics Progressive Podcasts.

This was one of the most powerful interviews. A huge thank you to Nell Cole & David Little Eagle for this fabulous opportunity to share my story, ‘My Justice’

 

Welcome Warrior Child Patricia McKnight who will join us to read from her book My Justice.

 

This amazing story of survival will capture you from Prelude to Ending. It will shock and disturb the deepest parts of your being. In it you will walk the path of a little girl so utterly destroyed by those entrusted with her care. You will feel her strength to survive as the towns people around her ignored the child’s cry. Trecia Ann will allow you into her thoughts; her exasperating fears that haunt her soul.

 

http://bookstore.authorhouse.com/Products/SKU-000373503/My-Justice.aspx

To have ‘Trish’ come speak at your next training event or a community awareness mission, please email direct: butterflydreamsteam@live.com

Connect on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

From The Desk Of Darlene J. Harris- Familial Child Trafficking by Patricia McKnight A Survivor and Advocate

From The Desk Of Darlene J. Harris- Familial Child Trafficking by Patricia McKnight A Survivor and Advocate.

 

A must read for anyone working directly with children. You never know what might happen hidden in the protective cover of family. Learn the silent signs and give a voice to the silenced children today. Thank you for sharing

Trish McKnight

From The Desk Of Darlene J. Harris- Familial Child Trafficking by Patricia McKnight A Survivor and Advocate

survivorsjustice:

Friends I am so excited to share the article released from the desk of Ms. Darlene J. Harris, check it out my darlins. She is sharing my most recent writing :)

Originally posted on And He Restoreth My Soul Project:

Greetings,

First,  we want to thank Mr. Eric Marts for his wonderful article on Child Abandonment.  His insight and knowledge about abandonment is very valuable and we appreciate the contribution he makes to And He Restoreth My Soul Project.

Today we introduce Patricia McKnight a survivor of Familial Child Trafficking and author of “My Justice”.  She works diligently to have a message of empowerment and hope to share with others like herself.  She has done massive radio interviews and documentaries.  In addition,   Patricia works with various government agencies, and coalitions.  She is often invited to participate as a speaker, and panelist member during conferences held for legal advocates, etc.  For more information about Patricia please see the following website  http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

Patrica A. McKnight Finally Living True Freedom

Trecia Ann The Girl Who Found Her Voice

A Novel By Patricia A. McKnight

Ask a survivor of forced familial child trafficking; what can you do…

View original 2,172 more words

Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio

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artwork courtesy of Michal Madison Art (www.michalmadisonart.com)

Friends it is very difficult and sad to report that at this time it has become necessary for me to suspend our radio broadcasting due to funding. I am no longer able to continue funding this service on my own and donations to support our programming are very few and far between in these difficult economic times. However, I do hope with some new things coming up locally here in my community and also online, that we will be able to resume our broadcasting as a community outreach service of awareness, prevention, and empowerment for others.

In the meantime, I am still here as a mentor, crisis support and of course the Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery mission is still very strong. We will continue reaching out to help others and if all works well with the projects of two new books, then hopefully we will be able to get back into our active, featured, radio broadcasting. Our archive programs will still be available for anyone to access any of our shows which have aired during these past 18 months. It has been incredible to do this and I am grateful for the donations which have come our way. Know that our drive in this mission to protect all beings from harm, build stronger community services for victims, abusers, and families in need, as well as helping personally during time of crisis for others; we are still determined to continue and will never stop believing in the power of recovery.

Please enjoy the many programs we’ve shared by visiting http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio.

You will find hosted programs by myself, Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight (Owner & CEO); Michal Madison; Dr. Brenda Joyce Markert-Green; Rachel Grant (Independent Child Sexual Abuse Expert & Recovery Coach); Faith McDaniel (Volunteer Host of Surviving with Faith).

Hopefully our radio shows have touched your heart & your life in some small way that you now are more conscience of these hidden acts, especially within the protective cover of family. Always remember as you watch the children in your life’s circle, it is proven that 92% of all harmful acts against children are committed by parents & close family members. In truth throughout our country, never forget that as of 2011 1 in 3 children are being harmed at any given moment in our society. The often taught ‘Stranger Danger’ only accounts for 2% of all crimes against children. We must teach our children to report even those who they love most and those responsible for their very survival. There is help, hope, & rescue. Let no child endure the pains of terror, sexual actions, and other such emotional & physical harm. It is the duty of every responsible adult around that child to protect and report what they suspect.

Become your own ‘FAMILY DEFENDER’ and keep this mission moving forward by visiting our website at http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

We thank you for your ongoing support and dedication to protecting all those who have no voice, living trapped in the dominant or trafficking control of the monsters within their circle of life.

Butterfly Dreams Team
Patricia A McKnight, Michal Madison, Linda Walcher, Dr. Brenda Joyce Markert-Green, Kelly Townsend, Julia D’Alphanzo; John L. Mealer; Lynn C Tolson, Petra Luna, Mary Graziano, Debbie Naylor Cox, Faith McDaniel

Finally living in the warm embrace of love, sharing ‘My Justice’

Bookcvr1        “My Justice”

written by: Patricia A. McKnight

Owner/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

 

 

 

 

 

 

A true story of one child’s life spent in horrific acts of violence, family alcoholism, mental health disorders, vicious sexual harm, community trafficking, and neglect so extreme the scars from rot are still present today.

The little girl who became a young woman searching for anyone who would love her; someone who would make that child feel worthy and that her life of happiness & safety truly mattered.

The young woman who became a wife trapped in emotional degradation & an almost deadly cycle of repeated attacks from the dysfunctional dangerous relationships & marriages.

The woman who became a mother and lives forever regretful of the impact her choices and the tolerance of violence has left in her children’s lives.

The grandmother who still tries to undo the path that continues to cycle forward in the suffering of her grandchildren.

A warrior against the harm of all beings which has been tolerated throughout centuries; hidden within the protective cover of family. The generational teaching of forced family secrets and victim blaming which deters our society from making the right decision to report what they suspect.

What would you do if these ugly acts extended throughout your child’s life? What if your son or daughter, a close personal friend or a partner you chose, had been so violated and abandoned by the entire community?

Almost always there is at least one other person who knows or suspects when a child is being destroyed by those given the responsibility of their survival and growth; their perceptions of the world and the influence they will have on others. Are we abandoning our children in a society of evil?

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