It isn’t just my story that is speaking out through “My Justice”. Instead it is a story of so many others living in the aftermath of times when child abuse related to almost 95% of all children. This wasn’t just sexual assaults of molestation & incest, but a severe physical pain inflicted by mothers and fathers to keep control of their households.
There are so many of us, from the past, who are now coming forward with our stories. The survivors are speaking and reaching out to tell the world this is wrong. This is an evil crime against us, but we were taught and ruled to not discuss those secrets. Our entire lives have been effected by carrying these secrets. Also the true person we should have grown to become was forever changed in that instant of the first attack. The child of sexual assault or severe physical trauma will die inside and as a result the decisions processes are distorted from that point forward. Professionally a lot of us succeed, but personally we struggle in silence, break down in private, hide our true soul from those around us. The more traumatic the event the deeper the destruction.
When I speak out there are those in the background who have joined me. Friends who are also gaining courage to face all of the nightmares. Together we provide an environment of love and healing; providing peace for our soul. This has brought an amazing response to my cries against the pain of abuse. These survivors have felt those feelings of deep fear. Their safety was completely surrounded with violations of severe attacks; they have survived the sadistic physical and sexual abuse and give me the fierce energy to reach out to others. There is a responsibility to pass forward that same energy and fight to educate others; to empower our children with the ability to protect themselves.
Society needs to recognize that for all of us who choose to speak, there are thousands still keeping the silent shame. These are people who have fought to change who they were. They may feel their threat in different ways now. The fear of being torn apart professionally; threatened by the abandonment of any family relationships they might have. There are those who are trapped in their past and no longer have the strength to fight their demons and we have to accept that many may still be in danger.
It is through their strength that I am hopeful of making a change. A stand to open our eyes and be watchful of the children around us; to stay aware of the reality in front of us. It is necessary for us to continue pushing education of these crimes. Letting our children know that the people around them will watch out for their safety. We can give them the reassurance that we will be there for them; give them the confidence and belief that they are allowed to reach out for help. We can protect our children and grandchildren by teaching and talking.
When we join together to bring both education and communication we can grow as mothers; fathers; aunts; uncles; friends and professionals who can use their nightmares to teach others. We can develop a bond of protection around those who will be our future. We cannot allow the continued rejectful reaction towards these victims. All of us should be allowed to live our lives with the sense of safety; something which is as much needed as food and shelter.
Thank you to all of those who are standing beside me now; the new friends I have made and to those who will come in my future. The past is gone; the feelings are now only memories. These memories cannot attack me, but they will always be with me. They are always living quietly inside until some split second will bring them to the surface; some may even cause that same remembered threat of the touch, which is how most survivors are affected. Each day I live in my reality; accepting my past instead of pushing it away. I accept the memories and moment of panic that will always haunt me. Through each of my days I push forward and look for the day when our children can grow peacefully in their world.