A Survivor’s Words

A Child’s Story of Abuse

A Woman’s Story of Domestic Violence

A Survivor’s Honesty about the

Crimes and their Scars

There are many different sites that will provide you with statistics about Child Abuse and/or Domestic Violence. The majority consensus is that 80% of our children will be or have been a victim of Child Abuse. Also, one in four women live as victims of Domestic Violence.  In my life there was a total of 32 years of abuse; surviving 12 years of brutal sadistic torture from my stepfather; continuous severe neglect from my mother; and then 20 years in multiple abusive adult relationships. In the novel “My Justice” , I have finally removed the hand that has kept me silent for over 40 years about the abuse I’ve survived and the scars it has left on my soul, my skin, my mental well being. This story is meant to give it’s reader a honest look into the thoughts, feelings, and trauma of a child so completely controlled by terror while all of her basic needs for existence were disregarded. The simple necessity of a toothbrush, a smile, a tender moment of kindness; all of the most simple things in her life were ignored; especially that need of safety. This story will suck you in and allow you to feel the pain of this child; her struggles just to survive in her home each day.

As she grows to become a decayed person inside and out; you will feel her need and walk through her life as she searches for that one true person to support and love her. You will be able to share the desperate need of this true survivor as she walks from one abuser to the next in her life. When she thinks she will be rescued from her home of torture; it becomes just another cage of control. When she finds the one to father her children; you will feel the depression as his actions of emotional and financial control rule her world. Walk through her adult life and see the multiple of violent abusers that hide behind the promise of true love, but instead threaten, beat, and attempt to take away the very breath of her soul.

The survivor in her is determined to provide her children with love and safety, but she lacks the skills and training of a good parent. You can step into her family and see how the scars of her abuse have caused pain, chaos, trauma in the lives of her children. Through the help of a friend, she finally makes that choice to escape from the madness of evil. Her spirit will push through that path she was trained to follow. She is able to escape and tries desperately to become the woman, mother and person she was truly born to be. Her strength fights each day to conquer the nightmares as she struggles to provide that safe, loving home that her children deserve. The choices of men come and go; disrupting the home she creates for them. When she feels that her world is finally safe you will also be sucked into the sadness she has when her health is what fails her now. Once again she is left with three children to care for and no way of making that possible. She reaches out for the needed love of her mother, but finds only the mother who had neglected her cries and left her to rot; the stepfather who continues to stalk and haunt her nights; this is all that she has left.

She returns to her home determined to be safe and bring her children back. Again she will fight to rebuild her safe world and attempt to guide her children into adulthood. It takes strength and time, but when she reaches the end of her violent path she will become successful at being a survivor, reaching her happiness, and also feeling that true sense of safety as true love comes into her life. His tenderness and love support her as she heals to find her voice. You will want to stand for this survivor as she continues to grow; now speaking out for all victims of these silent crimes. The strength of this story will fill your soul as the author shares the nightmares that haunt her sleep; the flashbacks that haunt her days; and the peace she is determined to give all survivors of these traumas.

This author and survivor, Ms. Patricia A. McKnight, is asking you now to read her story in the novel, “My Justice”, and give your voice to stand up for the millions of those who are trapped in the forced silence of abuse. It is time for us all to put and end to these continued crimes of silent torture. It is now that she requests us all to be aware of those around us; protect and help the lost souls of all abuse victims. As you read her story, you will feel how lost; abandoned; threatened; tortured these victims can be. Let her story provide you with the insight and knowledge you need to be vigilant and stand up against these heinous crimes. If the silence continues then the scars of these crimes will continue to affect the lives of our children. It is only by talking about the affects of these crimes that we can create a safer world for them.

My Justice

is a brutally honest glimpse into one woman’s struggle to overcome the abuse – and its long-term effects – that nearly comes to define her. It offers a powerful narrative and stirs the emotions of fear, sadness, desperation; strength, happiness, and finally peace. Safety!!!

About the Author

Patricia A. McKnight is a survivor of abuse who is driven to speak out and help empower other survivors from similar environments. She acts as an advocate, encouraging all to speak about their experiences so that we can educate others about the horrible cycling affects of abuse.

If you would like to connect with me or possibly discuss a speaking arrangement

please email:  

You can also connect with me via Facebook


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You can view the First Five Chapters Free
when you check out the links below

Published through Authorhouse Publishing Company

Copies of “My Justice” can also be purchased directly through

May you have roses in your garden of life!!

Published by @ButterflyTrish

I am a survivor of over thirty years trapped inside the silence and brutality of Family Crimes, Child Sex Trafficking, and a life-lived pattern of tolerance for over thirty years in almost murderous relationships. In Feb. 2011, I chose to publish the truth about what happened in our home, the community around me, and the learned patterns of self-hatred and tolerance which became such a huge factor in my life. I never felt worthy of life, breathing, love & respect; not until I honestly began a strong focus on healing myself. There were many traits and tragedies that influenced my life. It seemed to control everything inside me and it was nothing but sadness and fake emotions. Only by facing the horrors I went through, the choices I made as a woman & mother, then relating to the greatest guilt I still grieve; how the trauma behavior has affected my children's lives. It's my hope to help others get through their battles, regardless of the type of trauma because when we hurt our lives are forever changed. "My Justice' is not an easy read. It was published to release the thick layers of trauma, sex trafficking, and disfiguring neglect, the enslavement of a child to answer the ring of 'his' bell, and keep my own private terrorist alive. This memoir is NOT SUGGESTED FOR ANYONE UNDER 16 years of age. It discusses the permanently wounding life and the cycle of destruction that held me in expecting/tolerating ridicule and violence in my adult relationships. This truth was published to inspire others to take an in-depth look at their life and behaviors as a result of their past. When we connect the dots through rebuilding an understanding of the pattern of adult choices in coping addictions, parenting, and partners; even affecting our careers and self-sustainable life. I'm so honored to have 'My Justice' used at the collegiate level for psychology classes, upcoming therapists, and educators. Today my life is very blessed. I'm finally safe, finally truly loved, finally feeling the magic of what life is supposed to be like. My greatest power only began to show when I first made the choice to end the violent relationships and behaviors around my children; to give them something better, something SAFE!! In choosing to share my own story, I've also gone the serious extra step to educate myself through years of research, attending training opportunities, and collaborating with other advocate resources focused in human resilience and healing from abuse, sexual harm, and sex trafficking. Today there are experts digging deep to recreate help and healing. I've chosen to use my past as a way to inspire a greater good and; hopefully, somehow change the cycle of tragedy in our homes so that we empower our kids to live a more positive path. The best education we can give is healing our survivors of traumatic experiences so we understand what they felt then and what they wish they would have had available; those who could have and should have said something. We can change things for our life today, but best of all in healing our wounds, we give communities a supportive working strategy in assisting the people in our lives. One step at a time, one caring soul at a time, we can give them a path to changing our human society as a whole. This is a tell-all, which was written in the midst of my third nervous breakdown as I struggled to put all my distorted pieces back together, and help my children understand how the violence I tolerated against me invaded their well-being. My children have always been my world, but my behaviors, lack of healthy parenting and life skills, and an inability to remain stable have caused another generation of suffering for my grandchildren. This is a very difficult thing to watch and the continued tragedies that seem to keep affecting the choices in my family. Writing this book was only the beginning of trying to release all that has haunted me for so many years. I have finally removed his thick, cruel, coal-stained hand which trapped me in fear for decades. Those hands and his evil, her housemaid and caregiver; created a slave, and that slave submitted to horrific and brutal attacks but always felt it was her burden to bear. I lived with that hand holding me down, continually terrorizing and silencing, stealing my voice to protect their pure evil. Throughout decades the dysfunction caused by the chaos inside my head would affect every relationship, my children, and cast a shadow of darkness on everything good in my life. Living in the true spirit of freedom, I have now become a strong advocate against the life cycle of human destruction. If we want to control our life and achievements today, then we cannot live stuck in the tragedy of hardships and pain. Life is meant to be lived, to be enjoyed, to see what you can do and what you can achieve, to find out what is important to you. We all become adults. We all have a burden to bear. Stand up and keep moving, keep living, keep dreaming. You have two choices in recreating and rebuilding yourself. Do you stay stuck in the dark shadows of your past? Do you dig deep and find that spirit that kept you alive so that you could become the proud, strong, capable, resilient, kind human being? Which do you choose and how will that choice affect your children and theirs? We can be supportive, and provide resources and suggestions for help so that families suffering from addiction or past trauma can find a recovery balance to rebuild their family into a more positive life pattern. We will recover, we will rebuild, we will conquer the pains of yesterday to live in the true sense of life, freedom, and safety today. Patricia 'Trish' McKnight Author: 'My Justice' Fndr/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Alliance, NFP Mentor/Advocate/Speaker/Survivor

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