A Survivor’s Words





A Child’s Story of Abuse

A Woman’s Story of Domestic Violence

A Survivor’s Honesty about the

Crimes and their Scars

There are many different sites that will provide you with statistics about Child Abuse and/or Domestic Violence. The majority consensus is that 80% of our children will be or have been a victim of Child Abuse. Also, one in four women live as victims of Domestic Violence.  In my life there was a total of 32 years of abuse; surviving 12 years of brutal sadistic torture from my stepfather; continuous severe neglect from my mother; and then 20 years in multiple abusive adult relationships. In the novel “My Justice” , I have finally removed the hand that has kept me silent for over 40 years about the abuse I’ve survived and the scars it has left on my soul, my skin, my mental well being. This story is meant to give it’s reader a honest look into the thoughts, feelings, and trauma of a child so completely controlled by terror while all of her basic needs for existence were disregarded. The simple necessity of a toothbrush, a smile, a tender moment of kindness; all of the most simple things in her life were ignored; especially that need of safety. This story will suck you in and allow you to feel the pain of this child; her struggles just to survive in her home each day.

As she grows to become a decayed person inside and out; you will feel her need and walk through her life as she searches for that one true person to support and love her. You will be able to share the desperate need of this true survivor as she walks from one abuser to the next in her life. When she thinks she will be rescued from her home of torture; it becomes just another cage of control. When she finds the one to father her children; you will feel the depression as his actions of emotional and financial control rule her world. Walk through her adult life and see the multiple of violent abusers that hide behind the promise of true love, but instead threaten, beat, and attempt to take away the very breath of her soul.

The survivor in her is determined to provide her children with love and safety, but she lacks the skills and training of a good parent. You can step into her family and see how the scars of her abuse have caused pain, chaos, trauma in the lives of her children. Through the help of a friend, she finally makes that choice to escape from the madness of evil. Her spirit will push through that path she was trained to follow. She is able to escape and tries desperately to become the woman, mother and person she was truly born to be. Her strength fights each day to conquer the nightmares as she struggles to provide that safe, loving home that her children deserve. The choices of men come and go; disrupting the home she creates for them. When she feels that her world is finally safe you will also be sucked into the sadness she has when her health is what fails her now. Once again she is left with three children to care for and no way of making that possible. She reaches out for the needed love of her mother, but finds only the mother who had neglected her cries and left her to rot; the stepfather who continues to stalk and haunt her nights; this is all that she has left.

She returns to her home determined to be safe and bring her children back. Again she will fight to rebuild her safe world and attempt to guide her children into adulthood. It takes strength and time, but when she reaches the end of her violent path she will become successful at being a survivor, reaching her happiness, and also feeling that true sense of safety as true love comes into her life. His tenderness and love support her as she heals to find her voice. You will want to stand for this survivor as she continues to grow; now speaking out for all victims of these silent crimes. The strength of this story will fill your soul as the author shares the nightmares that haunt her sleep; the flashbacks that haunt her days; and the peace she is determined to give all survivors of these traumas.

This author and survivor, Ms. Patricia A. McKnight, is asking you now to read her story in the novel, “My Justice”, and give your voice to stand up for the millions of those who are trapped in the forced silence of abuse. It is time for us all to put and end to these continued crimes of silent torture. It is now that she requests us all to be aware of those around us; protect and help the lost souls of all abuse victims. As you read her story, you will feel how lost; abandoned; threatened; tortured these victims can be. Let her story provide you with the insight and knowledge you need to be vigilant and stand up against these heinous crimes. If the silence continues then the scars of these crimes will continue to affect the lives of our children. It is only by talking about the affects of these crimes that we can create a safer world for them.






My Justice

is a brutally honest glimpse into one woman’s struggle to overcome the abuse – and its long-term effects – that nearly comes to define her. It offers a powerful narrative and stirs the emotions of fear, sadness, desperation; strength, happiness, and finally peace. Safety!!!






About the Author

Patricia A. McKnight is a survivor of abuse who is driven to speak out and help empower other survivors from similar environments. She acts as an advocate, encouraging all to speak about their experiences so that we can educate others about the horrible cycling affects of abuse.






If you would like to connect with me or possibly discuss a speaking arrangement

please email:  







You can also connect with me via Facebook

facebook.com/triciagirl62




Follow me on Twitter

@triciagirl62

You can view the First Five Chapters Free
when you check out the links below


Published through Authorhouse Publishing Company

Copies of “My Justice” can also be purchased directly through








May you have roses in your garden of life!!

Published by @Trecia_Ann

Recently, Facebook locked and removed my decade long creation of work and public profile, which focused my work as an advocate, speaker, mentor, and creator of more than a few programs used throughout Illinois, but also shared nationally and some have reached international platforms. So.... let's start fresh and see where it goes! Please see the writings on this blog dating back into 2011, created after the publication of 'My Justice'. There are two specifically, which have been tagged and shared by many....."Judging Eyes" and "Triggers; what they are and how to handle them" I am a survivor of over thirty years trapped inside the silence and brutality of Family Facilitated Violence, Torture, and Child Sex Trafficking. In Feb. 2011, I chose to publish the secrets and the horrors endured; the many levels of destruction and decay which the community around me witnessed, ignored, condemned and blamed regardless of the injuries and tortures endured. It all became the learned patterns of self-hatred and tolerance which was a huge factor in my adult life. Have you endured childhood harm, or endured terroristic types of abuses? Did you feel unworthy of life, breathing, love or respect? Did you feel as if no one ever really saw you, heard you, or seemed to care about the silent cruelties of your existence? It wasn't until I honestly began a strong focus on healing myself, which took years of researching credible data and published research surrounding the lasting effects of abuse, violence, sexual harm, and human trafficking that I began to understand who I was and why there were many traits and tragedies that influenced my adult choices, relationships, the chaos deep in my soul and the behaviors used to survive. It seemed to control everything inside me and it was filled with pain, and tragedy. The research became my rebuilding journey and my road to advocacy, creating legislative changes, sitting as an active member and providing testimony in the creation of area task force operations, victim/survivor services, trauma informed awareness for law enforcement, educators, social services, healthcare and community providers. I began that research of understanding myself in 2008, wrote the memoir "My Justice' in 2010, began working to change statutes in my home state in 2013, became a Certified DV Advocate and Panel Member of DV Offender Education Program in 2015, which then initiated a decade long career as a trusted, confidential advocate, and a highly skilled and knowledgeable speaker/educator on the topic of Assessment, Family/Survivor Rebuilding, Trauma Informed Care & Response, with the primary focus on family/relationship acts of terroristic abuses and/or human trafficking. Beginning in January 2010 there have been developed programs and connected resources for men, women, children, and families who endured these same types of tragedies. Unfortunately, our human society still has barriers to seek help or speak openly about these types of tragedies, especially if it happened in our homes and families. The laws to protect from such harms were enacted for children in 1963, as an amendment to the Social Security Act. Domestic Violence was not a topic until 1995, when then Senator Joe Biden introduced the Violence Against Women Act, which has since been adapted to provide shelters, counseling, protection orders, and rebuilding services for ALL persons regardless of gender or identity. Although slavery was brought to an end by the historical act of President Abraham Lincoln, we unfortunately have millions of human beings still being traded, sold, controlled and trapped in a hellish evil, which often begins by a parent or intimate partner. Legislation didn't arise regarding the term 'Human Trafficking' until the turn of the new millennium. Protection for victims of human trafficking was signed into law as the 'Trafficking In Persons Act of 2000', which with modern day social media it quickly became a new hot-topic point, which then sparked the creation of Trauma Informed Care, Rebuilding & Trauma Therapy, and thus adult survivors began speaking out about the dark terrifying reality of Child Sex Trafficking. Today many use the term, Modern Day Slavery, and we have multi-faceted task force operations and rescue resources working around the globe to end this new form of human slavery. We also have a few hundred thousand or more who are adult survivors of histories involving Parental Child Sex Trafficking. In one recent study from 2018, they found 85% of these victims were trafficked by parents in trade for drugs, family needs, or basic human survival. As I look back on the career that grew from my own personal need to understand the chaos in my head, the constant failed relationships and almost murderous acts committed against me; as I deal with increasing health problems that includes multiples of head and spinal cord traumas; the most important goal for me from day one of this extremely personal experience; the healing and rebuilding of my own children and grandchildren who were all continued generational victims of the trauma influenced behaviors and choices that resulted from the destruction enforced by my mother and stepfather many decades ago. The little girl, 'Trecia Ann', she survived pure evil as an entire community witnessed, shamed, blamed, and dismissed the visible decay and rot, stench and filth covered, battered and intoxicated body of a young girl who was publicly exploited and shared in the bars of that small town, in her home with boys she attended school with and adult men from the local coalmine. It was as if they all got a thrill from watching her respond to the ring of that little brass bell. They laughed, molested, raped, and purchased for a few bucks or a few beers the sexual use of that young girl right in full public view! Her mother held the power to stop it all, but rather enjoyed having a 'slave' to cook, clean, care for the family as well as entertain the sadistic alcoholic man she chose to marry. Today, I'm so honored and proud to have that little girl's spirit with me. It is through the use of my lived experience, along with a decade of research, and at least five certifications in prevention, response, and trauma; I've assisted a few hundred survivors through the multilevel process of rebuilding and reclaiming their voice, their safety, their freedom! I've trained law enforcement, healthcare, childrens service investigators, our school educators, and co-presented in trainings with some outstanding experts in the field. For the many I've assisted or empowered, they continue becoming thriving survivors, advocates, authors, speakers, and most important of all; they are healing their children and grandchildren! It is a truly beautiful experience and I am so amazed to have been a spark, a resource, or a friend in their life reclaiming freedom. The adult children of generations past have broken through the glass ceiling and finally there is a hint of change in the world. "A lifetime filled with daily torture, tragedy, and pain creates someone completely different than we should have been. We feel that person inside, but our lives are altered by the emotional and physical suffering. We cover it up and hide it deep inside through substance abuse, which falsely helps us believe we are doing fine. The extreme physical and emotional injuries leave our mental and physical selves terribly impacted. Thankfully there is more information and resources of help available today for all types of adverse or traumatic experiences. We have specialized therapeutic help and healthcare professionals developing new ways to identify and assist persons harmed or at risk of harm. We have so much more to do, so please help by having casual open conversations with your friends, family, coworkers, leaders, and especially our kids. Teach them early how to avoid both online and in person harms. Encourage adults and kids both to use the BDA Buddy Skills 2.0, which you will find through my list of assessments and prevention strategies. "My Justice' was written through my own beginning of acknowledging and releasing the personal destruction of the girl once known as 'Trecia Ann'. It is not an easy read, but it has opened many eyes about the reality of evil that occurs inside our homes, against those too small to protect themselves or understand what's happening. It was published to release the thick layers of trauma, sex trafficking, and disfiguring neglect. It is the voice of the enslaved child who existed only to answer the ring of 'his' bell, and the enforced burden to keep my own private terrorist alive. 'My Justice' is NOT SUGGESTED FOR ANYONE UNDER 16 years of age. It discusses the permanently wounding life and the cycle of destruction that held me in tolerating ridicule, control, and violence in my adult relationships. This truth was published to inspire others to take an in-depth look at their life and behaviors as a result of their past, in hopes they too will better understand their suffering today, the continued relationships with the parents and family who inflicted those harms, and finally breaking free from that pain so they can reclaim their voice and their true sense of freedom! We always have the opportunity to learn that we are worthy, capable, incredibly strong, compassionate, and filled with endless possibilities. It is a choice. It is a conscious decision to dig into our trauma, take ownership of our own failures, the harm our choices have caused, and the work we need to do to change it and succeed for ourselves and our families. It is such an honor to have 'My Justice' used at the collegiate level for psychology classes, upcoming therapists, and educators. Today my life is very blessed. I'm finally safe, feel truly loved, finally feeling the magic of life! Always choose to see your star and how it shines on others in your journey. My greatest power only began to show when I first made the choice to end the violent relationships and behaviors around my children; to give them something better, something SAFE!! In choosing to share my own story, I've also gone the serious extra step to educate myself through years of research, attending training opportunities, and collaborating with other advocate resources focused in human resilience and healing from abuse, sexual harm, and sex trafficking. Today there are experts digging deep to recreate help and healing. I've chosen to use my past as a way to inspire a greater good and; hopefully, somehow change the cycle of tragedy in our homes so that we empower our kids to live a more positive path. The best education we can give is healing our survivors of traumatic experiences so we understand what they felt then and what they wish they would have had available; those who could have and should have said something. We can change things for our life today, but best of all in healing our wounds, we give communities a supportive working strategy in assisting the people in our lives. One step at a time, one caring soul at a time, we can give them a path to changing our human society as a whole. This is a tell-all, which was written in the midst of my third nervous breakdown as I struggled to put all my distorted pieces back together, and help my children understand how the violence I tolerated against me invaded their well-being. My children have always been my world, but my behaviors, lack of healthy parenting and life skills, and an inability to remain stable have caused another generation of suffering for my grandchildren. This is a very difficult thing to watch and the continued tragedies that seem to keep affecting the choices in my family. Writing this book was only the beginning of trying to release all that has haunted me for so many years. I have finally removed his thick, cruel, coal-stained hand which trapped me in fear for decades. Those hands and his evil, her housemaid and caregiver; created a slave, and that slave submitted to horrific and brutal attacks but always felt it was her burden to bear. I lived with that hand holding me down, continually terrorizing and silencing, stealing my voice to protect their pure evil. Throughout decades the dysfunction caused by the chaos inside my head would affect every relationship, my children, and cast a shadow of darkness on everything good in my life. Living in the true spirit of freedom, I have now become a strong advocate against the life cycle of human destruction. If we want to control our life and achievements today, then we cannot live stuck in the tragedy of hardships and pain. Life is meant to be lived, to be enjoyed, to see what you can do and what you can achieve, to find out what is important to you. We all become adults. We all have a burden to bear. Stand up and keep moving, keep living, keep dreaming. You have two choices in recreating and rebuilding yourself. Do you stay stuck in the dark shadows of your past? Do you dig deep and find that spirit that kept you alive so that you can become the proud, strong, capable, resilient, kind human being? Which do you choose and how will that choice affect your children and theirs? We can be supportive, and provide resources and suggest help so that families suffering from addiction or past trauma can find a recovery balance to rebuild their family into a more positive life pattern. We will recover, we will rebuild, we will conquer the pains of yesterday to live in the true sense of life, freedom, and safety today. Patricia 'Trish' McKnight Author: 'My Justice' Fndr/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Alliance, NFP Mentor/Advocate/Speaker/Survivor

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