Tears in April……

“TEARS in APRIL”

by:

Advocate/Author/Speaker/Trainer/Talk Radio Host/Survivor

Founder: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery

Author: "My Justice"

Ms. Tricia McKnight

“Patricia A. McKnight”

Author: “My Justice”

We are now into the last full week of April 2012, Do you know what special awareness month this is supposed to be? This blog will explain why this question is so very important as we go along.

First let me say that I never used to know what the true specialty of this month meant; neither did any of my friends. To me this is extremely sad and in all honesty, a bit scary.

Throughout this month so far, I’ve been watching and looking around, kind of listening to see if anyone picks up on this and what they are pushing for during April. I’ve seen and heard about awareness for things such as, Autism; Sexual Assault, and on our local news, I even heard an announcement for Hairball Awareness Day!!! All I can say is Wow!!!

Now don’t think for a moment that I am down playing Autism or Sexual Assault. The Autism disease actually effects 1 in 100 of our children, Sexual Assault (Rape) effects 1 in 4 women & 1 in 6 men according to national reports from many available web sites. Definitely these are an important issue and we do need to support them, but Hairball Day, do we really need that one?

The saddest part of this Awareness in April and the reason for this post title, is that APRIL IS CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION MONTH!!! Shouldn’t this be the direct and most important awareness issue for this special month? I don’t know about your area, but in my small mid-western area of South-Central Illinois, the only child abuse awareness or discussion has been the Balloon Release Event that I initiated.

I do know through my contacts and friends on the social media sites that many other Child Abuse Advocates and organizations have done a special awareness events  for this month. Those I am aware of personally are gaining in strength.

Please support:

Stop Abusing Your Children – Stacey & Jeff Sutphen – They have filmed and are fighting now for the share of a Public Service Announcement, which so far is going to be shared on Bravo!!!

NAASCA.org – Bill Murray and his amazing team hosted a truly honoring event in their area of Sacramento, CA along with “Army of Angels” to kick off a two-week long commemoration of Child Abuse Prevention Cross Country Motorcycle Run. 

Debbie Splawn-Bunch – Dreamcatchers for Abused Children National Spokesperson – Held the first annual Candle Light Vigil at Cole’s Garden in Oklahoma City, OK. She and her local citizens, who had been hit by a series of tornados the day before, attended and asked us around the country to dedicate a moment of silence for our children as we remember those who have been destroyed and even killed by the crimes of abuse.

Tricia McKnight –  Held the first annual Balloon Release Event in Breese, IL. and our local citizens showed support through silent auction donations and more. Our local Mayor, Charlie Hilmes and my Fourth Grade Teacher, Ms. Linda Walcher took part and gave a few moments of speech in the support of our event and discussed the extreme silence of this crime and how our children can so easily be overlooked when burdened in shame and secrecy. We also had a special share from Mr. Carl Hart who is a member of the NAASCA organization and supporter of Just Tell, teens reaching out to teens.

So with all of the above news, why do I say,”Tears in April”? Think for just a moment about this very important fact; EVERY 5 SECONDS A CHILD IS BEING HURT OR RAPED BY SOMEONE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO TRUST WITH THEIR SAFETY!!! In fact, most of these children have to live, eat dinner and sleep in the same house, with the person who is causing this pain. Their lives are being destroyed and then they are forced to carry the secrets of what happened within their home. They’re going to school every day worrying about what could happen to them that night. NEVER knowing from one moment to the next if the very safety of their home will change into evil and attack them.

To think that this very special awareness in the month of April is not getting recognition;  published in every newspaper and TV station across the globe, is not only disheartening for our children but extremely sad. Our children are depending on us to provide them with love, guidance, support and yes, even necessary correcting/parenting, but we cannot even give their lives ONE MONTH OF TRIBUTE. This is an utmost cruelty and sadness for them. What will they think of us as people when this new generation gets old enough to understand this meaning?

Overall child abuse has increased due to the state of our global and national economy. Child deaths are now estimated at 5 each day, but in Illinois alone we lost 161 children from abuse & neglect in 2010. We also had a total of 9,457 cases of Sexual Abuse, this is just across our one state. What are the stats of your state? Check the DCFS or DHS/CPS web sites for your state to find out.

The fact that these numbers continue to rise and we cannot Nationally Recognize & Support the efforts to bring a huge awareness across our country for their safety and well-being is so tragic. What will they think of us indeed? How will they see our views on this issue? What examples are we giving them? We see commercials constantly about the support for Animals; Children Abroad; and many different diseases, but the most serious disease, the cancer eating away at our human kindness, does not get the major support across our states. Everyone seems to feel drawing attention to this evil makes it too real to accept, but for the majority of our generations this evil has been accepted as “Normal”; “Not Damaging”; “Just a Part of Life”, for centuries now. I have to ask, “When will this crime and torture of our children no longer be accepted”?

It has been proven that the long-term effect of Abuse, the emotional and mental health treatment of those who survive these horrific traumas, is costing our country an estimated $124 Billion Dollars a year!!! You can find this fact and many more about the life long effect from Child Abuse and Rape on the National Institute for Mental Health or http://www.nimh.gov  Survivors are often so deeply affected with major signs being overwhelming between the ages of late 20’s to mid 30’s, when we are becoming adults and parents ourselves. This causes our families and marriages to be destroyed. It causes us so much physical and emotional damage that maintaining stability in our lives and being a productive member of society is almost impossible. The worst effect from abuse is the cycle that carries it forward to invade the live’s of our own children, either by our actions or our decisions; such as allowing this to continue as an UN-NOTICED CRIME!!

Please join with me and the many other organizations, foundations, and advocates who stand and encourage you to take part in the awareness and educational events for the last remaining week of April. We need to come together as a society to give true honor, support and the public attention that our children deserve!!! Why should it be so shameful to speak publicly and support the safety of our children? We can stop the “Tears in April” by changing our view of this subject. Simply watching and caring about the children in our circles is a small way to make a very big difference. They need to see our sincere love and deep appreciation of who they are and the possibilities of who they can become. If we are the generation that begins this movement to protect them and provide a positive influence in their lives, look at what changes they can bring to our world. One or more of them may be the scientist who creates a cure for Cancer, Aids, Autism, Schizophrenia; maybe even a pill to prevent a prone nature of violence. How can we as a human race turn away and ignore this special month? How can we not have huge Blue Ribbons of support or Walks for Awareness; beautiful Candle Light Vigils across the country? How is it that we cannot provide a DONATED television commercial to run on all local stations across the country? How can we not find those famous voices of support from Actors/ Actresses/ Government Officials and more to stand up and speak out against these heinous crimes? How can we continue to turn away from the SURVIVORS OF ABUSE and tell them to “Just get over it”??!!!

This blog is one of the many publications from Author, Patricia A. McKnight and is held in the same copy write for the novel, “My Justice” and all other information pertaining to her articles, books, blogs, and more. You can join with me on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62 or on Twitter @triciagirl62. There is also a women’s private support group that I founded and mange online through Facebook. If you are interested in being a member please send a “Friend Request” so that we can connect and talk further. 

I strongly encourage anyone who is a survivor of childhood abuse to speak up and be heard, use your voice and your story to help create a world wide awareness to the horrific nature of these crimes and the devastating long term effect that plagues our lives and continues to destroy the children of our next generation. Please stand with us and be the generation that screams out to all, “NO MORE ABUSE AGAINST OUR CHILDREN”!!! 

 

Contact: p.mcknight@charter.net

Visit: http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

RADIO SHOWS – http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery

 

Published by @Trecia_Ann

Recently, Facebook locked and removed my decade long creation of work and public profile, which focused my work as an advocate, speaker, mentor, and creator of more than a few programs used throughout Illinois, but also shared nationally and some have reached international platforms. So.... let's start fresh and see where it goes! Please see the writings on this blog dating back into 2011, created after the publication of 'My Justice'. There are two specifically, which have been tagged and shared by many....."Judging Eyes" and "Triggers; what they are and how to handle them" I am a survivor of over thirty years trapped inside the silence and brutality of Family Facilitated Violence, Torture, and Child Sex Trafficking. In Feb. 2011, I chose to publish the secrets and the horrors endured; the many levels of destruction and decay which the community around me witnessed, ignored, condemned and blamed regardless of the injuries and tortures endured. It all became the learned patterns of self-hatred and tolerance which was a huge factor in my adult life. Have you endured childhood harm, or endured terroristic types of abuses? Did you feel unworthy of life, breathing, love or respect? Did you feel as if no one ever really saw you, heard you, or seemed to care about the silent cruelties of your existence? It wasn't until I honestly began a strong focus on healing myself, which took years of researching credible data and published research surrounding the lasting effects of abuse, violence, sexual harm, and human trafficking that I began to understand who I was and why there were many traits and tragedies that influenced my adult choices, relationships, the chaos deep in my soul and the behaviors used to survive. It seemed to control everything inside me and it was filled with pain, and tragedy. The research became my rebuilding journey and my road to advocacy, creating legislative changes, sitting as an active member and providing testimony in the creation of area task force operations, victim/survivor services, trauma informed awareness for law enforcement, educators, social services, healthcare and community providers. I began that research of understanding myself in 2008, wrote the memoir "My Justice' in 2010, began working to change statutes in my home state in 2013, became a Certified DV Advocate and Panel Member of DV Offender Education Program in 2015, which then initiated a decade long career as a trusted, confidential advocate, and a highly skilled and knowledgeable speaker/educator on the topic of Assessment, Family/Survivor Rebuilding, Trauma Informed Care & Response, with the primary focus on family/relationship acts of terroristic abuses and/or human trafficking. Beginning in January 2010 there have been developed programs and connected resources for men, women, children, and families who endured these same types of tragedies. Unfortunately, our human society still has barriers to seek help or speak openly about these types of tragedies, especially if it happened in our homes and families. The laws to protect from such harms were enacted for children in 1963, as an amendment to the Social Security Act. Domestic Violence was not a topic until 1995, when then Senator Joe Biden introduced the Violence Against Women Act, which has since been adapted to provide shelters, counseling, protection orders, and rebuilding services for ALL persons regardless of gender or identity. Although slavery was brought to an end by the historical act of President Abraham Lincoln, we unfortunately have millions of human beings still being traded, sold, controlled and trapped in a hellish evil, which often begins by a parent or intimate partner. Legislation didn't arise regarding the term 'Human Trafficking' until the turn of the new millennium. Protection for victims of human trafficking was signed into law as the 'Trafficking In Persons Act of 2000', which with modern day social media it quickly became a new hot-topic point, which then sparked the creation of Trauma Informed Care, Rebuilding & Trauma Therapy, and thus adult survivors began speaking out about the dark terrifying reality of Child Sex Trafficking. Today many use the term, Modern Day Slavery, and we have multi-faceted task force operations and rescue resources working around the globe to end this new form of human slavery. We also have a few hundred thousand or more who are adult survivors of histories involving Parental Child Sex Trafficking. In one recent study from 2018, they found 85% of these victims were trafficked by parents in trade for drugs, family needs, or basic human survival. As I look back on the career that grew from my own personal need to understand the chaos in my head, the constant failed relationships and almost murderous acts committed against me; as I deal with increasing health problems that includes multiples of head and spinal cord traumas; the most important goal for me from day one of this extremely personal experience; the healing and rebuilding of my own children and grandchildren who were all continued generational victims of the trauma influenced behaviors and choices that resulted from the destruction enforced by my mother and stepfather many decades ago. The little girl, 'Trecia Ann', she survived pure evil as an entire community witnessed, shamed, blamed, and dismissed the visible decay and rot, stench and filth covered, battered and intoxicated body of a young girl who was publicly exploited and shared in the bars of that small town, in her home with boys she attended school with and adult men from the local coalmine. It was as if they all got a thrill from watching her respond to the ring of that little brass bell. They laughed, molested, raped, and purchased for a few bucks or a few beers the sexual use of that young girl right in full public view! Her mother held the power to stop it all, but rather enjoyed having a 'slave' to cook, clean, care for the family as well as entertain the sadistic alcoholic man she chose to marry. Today, I'm so honored and proud to have that little girl's spirit with me. It is through the use of my lived experience, along with a decade of research, and at least five certifications in prevention, response, and trauma; I've assisted a few hundred survivors through the multilevel process of rebuilding and reclaiming their voice, their safety, their freedom! I've trained law enforcement, healthcare, childrens service investigators, our school educators, and co-presented in trainings with some outstanding experts in the field. For the many I've assisted or empowered, they continue becoming thriving survivors, advocates, authors, speakers, and most important of all; they are healing their children and grandchildren! It is a truly beautiful experience and I am so amazed to have been a spark, a resource, or a friend in their life reclaiming freedom. The adult children of generations past have broken through the glass ceiling and finally there is a hint of change in the world. "A lifetime filled with daily torture, tragedy, and pain creates someone completely different than we should have been. We feel that person inside, but our lives are altered by the emotional and physical suffering. We cover it up and hide it deep inside through substance abuse, which falsely helps us believe we are doing fine. The extreme physical and emotional injuries leave our mental and physical selves terribly impacted. Thankfully there is more information and resources of help available today for all types of adverse or traumatic experiences. We have specialized therapeutic help and healthcare professionals developing new ways to identify and assist persons harmed or at risk of harm. We have so much more to do, so please help by having casual open conversations with your friends, family, coworkers, leaders, and especially our kids. Teach them early how to avoid both online and in person harms. Encourage adults and kids both to use the BDA Buddy Skills 2.0, which you will find through my list of assessments and prevention strategies. "My Justice' was written through my own beginning of acknowledging and releasing the personal destruction of the girl once known as 'Trecia Ann'. It is not an easy read, but it has opened many eyes about the reality of evil that occurs inside our homes, against those too small to protect themselves or understand what's happening. It was published to release the thick layers of trauma, sex trafficking, and disfiguring neglect. It is the voice of the enslaved child who existed only to answer the ring of 'his' bell, and the enforced burden to keep my own private terrorist alive. 'My Justice' is NOT SUGGESTED FOR ANYONE UNDER 16 years of age. It discusses the permanently wounding life and the cycle of destruction that held me in tolerating ridicule, control, and violence in my adult relationships. This truth was published to inspire others to take an in-depth look at their life and behaviors as a result of their past, in hopes they too will better understand their suffering today, the continued relationships with the parents and family who inflicted those harms, and finally breaking free from that pain so they can reclaim their voice and their true sense of freedom! We always have the opportunity to learn that we are worthy, capable, incredibly strong, compassionate, and filled with endless possibilities. It is a choice. It is a conscious decision to dig into our trauma, take ownership of our own failures, the harm our choices have caused, and the work we need to do to change it and succeed for ourselves and our families. It is such an honor to have 'My Justice' used at the collegiate level for psychology classes, upcoming therapists, and educators. Today my life is very blessed. I'm finally safe, feel truly loved, finally feeling the magic of life! Always choose to see your star and how it shines on others in your journey. My greatest power only began to show when I first made the choice to end the violent relationships and behaviors around my children; to give them something better, something SAFE!! In choosing to share my own story, I've also gone the serious extra step to educate myself through years of research, attending training opportunities, and collaborating with other advocate resources focused in human resilience and healing from abuse, sexual harm, and sex trafficking. Today there are experts digging deep to recreate help and healing. I've chosen to use my past as a way to inspire a greater good and; hopefully, somehow change the cycle of tragedy in our homes so that we empower our kids to live a more positive path. The best education we can give is healing our survivors of traumatic experiences so we understand what they felt then and what they wish they would have had available; those who could have and should have said something. We can change things for our life today, but best of all in healing our wounds, we give communities a supportive working strategy in assisting the people in our lives. One step at a time, one caring soul at a time, we can give them a path to changing our human society as a whole. This is a tell-all, which was written in the midst of my third nervous breakdown as I struggled to put all my distorted pieces back together, and help my children understand how the violence I tolerated against me invaded their well-being. My children have always been my world, but my behaviors, lack of healthy parenting and life skills, and an inability to remain stable have caused another generation of suffering for my grandchildren. This is a very difficult thing to watch and the continued tragedies that seem to keep affecting the choices in my family. Writing this book was only the beginning of trying to release all that has haunted me for so many years. I have finally removed his thick, cruel, coal-stained hand which trapped me in fear for decades. Those hands and his evil, her housemaid and caregiver; created a slave, and that slave submitted to horrific and brutal attacks but always felt it was her burden to bear. I lived with that hand holding me down, continually terrorizing and silencing, stealing my voice to protect their pure evil. Throughout decades the dysfunction caused by the chaos inside my head would affect every relationship, my children, and cast a shadow of darkness on everything good in my life. Living in the true spirit of freedom, I have now become a strong advocate against the life cycle of human destruction. If we want to control our life and achievements today, then we cannot live stuck in the tragedy of hardships and pain. Life is meant to be lived, to be enjoyed, to see what you can do and what you can achieve, to find out what is important to you. We all become adults. We all have a burden to bear. Stand up and keep moving, keep living, keep dreaming. You have two choices in recreating and rebuilding yourself. Do you stay stuck in the dark shadows of your past? Do you dig deep and find that spirit that kept you alive so that you can become the proud, strong, capable, resilient, kind human being? Which do you choose and how will that choice affect your children and theirs? We can be supportive, and provide resources and suggest help so that families suffering from addiction or past trauma can find a recovery balance to rebuild their family into a more positive life pattern. We will recover, we will rebuild, we will conquer the pains of yesterday to live in the true sense of life, freedom, and safety today. Patricia 'Trish' McKnight Author: 'My Justice' Fndr/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Alliance, NFP Mentor/Advocate/Speaker/Survivor

2 thoughts on “Tears in April……

    1. ty:), glad you liked it. Hopefully we can inspire all to understand the meaning behind the message!!

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