Tears in April……

“TEARS in APRIL”

by:

Advocate/Author/Speaker/Trainer/Talk Radio Host/Survivor

Founder: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery

Author: "My Justice"

Ms. Tricia McKnight

“Patricia A. McKnight”

Author: “My Justice”

We are now into the last full week of April 2012, Do you know what special awareness month this is supposed to be? This blog will explain why this question is so very important as we go along.

First let me say that I never used to know what the true specialty of this month meant; neither did any of my friends. To me this is extremely sad and in all honesty, a bit scary.

Throughout this month so far, I’ve been watching and looking around, kind of listening to see if anyone picks up on this and what they are pushing for during April. I’ve seen and heard about awareness for things such as, Autism; Sexual Assault, and on our local news, I even heard an announcement for Hairball Awareness Day!!! All I can say is Wow!!!

Now don’t think for a moment that I am down playing Autism or Sexual Assault. The Autism disease actually effects 1 in 100 of our children, Sexual Assault (Rape) effects 1 in 4 women & 1 in 6 men according to national reports from many available web sites. Definitely these are an important issue and we do need to support them, but Hairball Day, do we really need that one?

The saddest part of this Awareness in April and the reason for this post title, is that APRIL IS CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION MONTH!!! Shouldn’t this be the direct and most important awareness issue for this special month? I don’t know about your area, but in my small mid-western area of South-Central Illinois, the only child abuse awareness or discussion has been the Balloon Release Event that I initiated.

I do know through my contacts and friends on the social media sites that many other Child Abuse Advocates and organizations have done a special awareness events  for this month. Those I am aware of personally are gaining in strength.

Please support:

Stop Abusing Your Children – Stacey & Jeff Sutphen – They have filmed and are fighting now for the share of a Public Service Announcement, which so far is going to be shared on Bravo!!!

NAASCA.org – Bill Murray and his amazing team hosted a truly honoring event in their area of Sacramento, CA along with “Army of Angels” to kick off a two-week long commemoration of Child Abuse Prevention Cross Country Motorcycle Run. 

Debbie Splawn-Bunch – Dreamcatchers for Abused Children National Spokesperson – Held the first annual Candle Light Vigil at Cole’s Garden in Oklahoma City, OK. She and her local citizens, who had been hit by a series of tornados the day before, attended and asked us around the country to dedicate a moment of silence for our children as we remember those who have been destroyed and even killed by the crimes of abuse.

Tricia McKnight –  Held the first annual Balloon Release Event in Breese, IL. and our local citizens showed support through silent auction donations and more. Our local Mayor, Charlie Hilmes and my Fourth Grade Teacher, Ms. Linda Walcher took part and gave a few moments of speech in the support of our event and discussed the extreme silence of this crime and how our children can so easily be overlooked when burdened in shame and secrecy. We also had a special share from Mr. Carl Hart who is a member of the NAASCA organization and supporter of Just Tell, teens reaching out to teens.

So with all of the above news, why do I say,”Tears in April”? Think for just a moment about this very important fact; EVERY 5 SECONDS A CHILD IS BEING HURT OR RAPED BY SOMEONE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO TRUST WITH THEIR SAFETY!!! In fact, most of these children have to live, eat dinner and sleep in the same house, with the person who is causing this pain. Their lives are being destroyed and then they are forced to carry the secrets of what happened within their home. They’re going to school every day worrying about what could happen to them that night. NEVER knowing from one moment to the next if the very safety of their home will change into evil and attack them.

To think that this very special awareness in the month of April is not getting recognition;  published in every newspaper and TV station across the globe, is not only disheartening for our children but extremely sad. Our children are depending on us to provide them with love, guidance, support and yes, even necessary correcting/parenting, but we cannot even give their lives ONE MONTH OF TRIBUTE. This is an utmost cruelty and sadness for them. What will they think of us as people when this new generation gets old enough to understand this meaning?

Overall child abuse has increased due to the state of our global and national economy. Child deaths are now estimated at 5 each day, but in Illinois alone we lost 161 children from abuse & neglect in 2010. We also had a total of 9,457 cases of Sexual Abuse, this is just across our one state. What are the stats of your state? Check the DCFS or DHS/CPS web sites for your state to find out.

The fact that these numbers continue to rise and we cannot Nationally Recognize & Support the efforts to bring a huge awareness across our country for their safety and well-being is so tragic. What will they think of us indeed? How will they see our views on this issue? What examples are we giving them? We see commercials constantly about the support for Animals; Children Abroad; and many different diseases, but the most serious disease, the cancer eating away at our human kindness, does not get the major support across our states. Everyone seems to feel drawing attention to this evil makes it too real to accept, but for the majority of our generations this evil has been accepted as “Normal”; “Not Damaging”; “Just a Part of Life”, for centuries now. I have to ask, “When will this crime and torture of our children no longer be accepted”?

It has been proven that the long-term effect of Abuse, the emotional and mental health treatment of those who survive these horrific traumas, is costing our country an estimated $124 Billion Dollars a year!!! You can find this fact and many more about the life long effect from Child Abuse and Rape on the National Institute for Mental Health or http://www.nimh.gov  Survivors are often so deeply affected with major signs being overwhelming between the ages of late 20’s to mid 30’s, when we are becoming adults and parents ourselves. This causes our families and marriages to be destroyed. It causes us so much physical and emotional damage that maintaining stability in our lives and being a productive member of society is almost impossible. The worst effect from abuse is the cycle that carries it forward to invade the live’s of our own children, either by our actions or our decisions; such as allowing this to continue as an UN-NOTICED CRIME!!

Please join with me and the many other organizations, foundations, and advocates who stand and encourage you to take part in the awareness and educational events for the last remaining week of April. We need to come together as a society to give true honor, support and the public attention that our children deserve!!! Why should it be so shameful to speak publicly and support the safety of our children? We can stop the “Tears in April” by changing our view of this subject. Simply watching and caring about the children in our circles is a small way to make a very big difference. They need to see our sincere love and deep appreciation of who they are and the possibilities of who they can become. If we are the generation that begins this movement to protect them and provide a positive influence in their lives, look at what changes they can bring to our world. One or more of them may be the scientist who creates a cure for Cancer, Aids, Autism, Schizophrenia; maybe even a pill to prevent a prone nature of violence. How can we as a human race turn away and ignore this special month? How can we not have huge Blue Ribbons of support or Walks for Awareness; beautiful Candle Light Vigils across the country? How is it that we cannot provide a DONATED television commercial to run on all local stations across the country? How can we not find those famous voices of support from Actors/ Actresses/ Government Officials and more to stand up and speak out against these heinous crimes? How can we continue to turn away from the SURVIVORS OF ABUSE and tell them to “Just get over it”??!!!

This blog is one of the many publications from Author, Patricia A. McKnight and is held in the same copy write for the novel, “My Justice” and all other information pertaining to her articles, books, blogs, and more. You can join with me on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62 or on Twitter @triciagirl62. There is also a women’s private support group that I founded and mange online through Facebook. If you are interested in being a member please send a “Friend Request” so that we can connect and talk further. 

I strongly encourage anyone who is a survivor of childhood abuse to speak up and be heard, use your voice and your story to help create a world wide awareness to the horrific nature of these crimes and the devastating long term effect that plagues our lives and continues to destroy the children of our next generation. Please stand with us and be the generation that screams out to all, “NO MORE ABUSE AGAINST OUR CHILDREN”!!! 

 

Contact: p.mcknight@charter.net

Visit: http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

RADIO SHOWS – http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery

 

Published by @ButterflyTrish

I am a survivor of over thirty years trapped inside the silence and brutality of Family Crimes, Child Sex Trafficking, and a life lived pattern of tolerance for over 30 years in almost murderous relationships. In Feb. 2011 I chose to publish the truth about what happened in our home, the community around me, and the learned patterns of self-hatred and tolerance which became such a huge factor in my life. My life today was built through publishing 'My Justice'. I never would felt worthy of life, breathing, love & respect with first healing myself. There were many things the traits and tragedies that influenced my life seemed to control everything inside me and it was nothing but sadness and fake emotions. Only by facing the horrors I went through, the choices I made as a woman & mother, then relating to the greatest guilt I have; how the trauma behavior has affected my children's lives. It's my hope to help others get through their battles, regardless of the type of trauma because when we hurt our lives are forever changed. This graphic, violent memoir is NOT SUGGESTED FOR ANYONE UNDER 14 years of age. It discusses the permanently wounding life and the cycle of destruction that held me in expecting/tolerating ridicule and violence in my adult relationships. This truth was published to inspire others to take an in-depth look at their life and behaviors as a result of their past. Connect the dots of your rebuilding in understanding the pattern of adult choices in coping addictions, parenting, and partners; even affecting our careers and self-sustainable life. I'm so honored to have 'My Justice' used at the collegiate level for psychology classes, upcoming therapists and educators. Today my life is very blessed. I'm finally safe, finally truly loved, finally feeling the magic of what life is supposed to be like. My greatest power only began to show when I first made the choice to end the violent relationships and behaviors around my children; to give them something better, something SAFE!! In choosing to share my own story, I've also gone that serious extra step to educate myself through years of research, attending training opportunity, and collaborating with other advocate resources, abuse, sexual harm, and the experts digging deep to recreate help and healing. I've chosen to use my past as a way to inspire a greater good; hopefully somehow change the cycle of tragedy in our homes so that we empower our kids to live a more positive path. The best education we can give, is a survivor of traumatic experiences who can use what they felt then and what they wish they would have had available; those who could have and should have said something. We can change things for our life today, but best of all in healing our wounds, we give communities a supportive working strategy in assisting the people in our lives. One step at a time, one caring soul at a time, we can give them a path to changing our human society as a whole. This is a tell all, which was written in the midst of my third nervous breakdown as I struggled to put all my distorted pieces back together, help my children understand how the violence I tolerated against me invaded their emotional well-being. My children have always been my world, but my behaviors, lack of healthy parenting and life skills, and an inability to remain stable has caused another generation of suffering for my grandchildren. This is a very difficult thing to watch and the continued tragedies that seem to keep affecting the choices in my family. Writing this book was only the beginning of trying to release all that has haunted me for so many years. I have finally removed his thick, cruel, coal stained hand which trapped me in fear for decades. Those hands and his evil, her housemaid and caregiver; they created a slave and that slave submitted to horrific and brutal attacks but always felt it was her burden to bare. I lived with that hand holding me down to terrorize and steal away my voice, holding me captive in the dysfunction of the aftermath and casting a shadow of darkness on everything good in my life. Living in the true spirit of freedom, I have now become a strong advocate against the life cycle of human destruction. We cannot live stuck in the tragedy of hardships and pain. Life is meant to be lived, to be enjoyed, to see what you can do and what you can achieve, to find out what is important to you. We all become adults. We all have a burden to bare. Stand up and keep moving, keep living, keep dreaming. You have two choices in recreating and rebuilding yourself. Do you stay stuck in the dark shadows of your past? Do you dig deep and find that spirit that kept you alive so that you could become the proud, strong, capable, resilient, kind human being ? Which do you choose and how will that choice affect your children and theirs? We can be supportive, provide resources and suggestions for help so that families suffering with addiction or past trauma themselves can find a recovery balance to rebuild their family in a more positive life pattern. We will recover, we will rebuild, we will conquer the pains of yesterday to live in the true sense of life, freedom and safety today. Patricia 'Trish' McKnight Author: 'My Justice' Fndr/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Alliance, NFP Mentor/Advocate/Speaker/Survivor

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