What are we going to do for them???

Mankind has accepted the acts of maintaining our homes through fierce control for decades. We’ve turned away as our sons and daughters are being beaten, molested, raped, sodomized; forced to do unspeakable acts, but even with all that I’ve seen change in the past two years it still is not enough!!!

I ask EVERYONE; When will it be bad enough to catch your attention and ask you to do something to help make a difference?

This past March I sent a letter to our wonderful First Lady Michelle Obama, asking she give her voice to recognize this crime and the millions of survivors in our country alone. In April I sent out a blog post asking all politicians, hollywood stars, sports players to speak up and be the one to give their voice and take a stand to protect our kids. In May I emailed President Obama asking our politicians who would be the one to make crimes of abuse against children and within our home a topic for this year’s political campaign. The email was then sent out to our Illinois Senator Richard Durbin. He is the only one who responded at all and that was a simple “Thank you for your interest“!!!

Really, to me it is absolutely unfathomable that we have a society, who I’ve seen only maybe a few hundred or so voices, willing to speak out against these crimes and do it proudly. Its not that we ENJOY talking about these topics, ITS BECAUSE THEY ARE LIFESAVING AND VITAL TO OUR CHILDREN.

How can we honestly look at our kids today, see all the stress and dysfunction they deal with, and not be willing to make this a public topic and one that ALL OF US TAKE PART IN? How can we sit back, turn up the television, block out the screaming babies and pretend we don’t know what’s happening?

The truth is ILLINOIS HAD A TOTAL OF 218 CHILDREN DIE IN 2011 BY ACTS OF PHYSICAL ABUSE OR NEGLECT!!! Senator Durbin, “Does this catch your interest yet?”

I see how the scars of my own abuse bled in to invade the lives of my children. I see how the broken process of thought and good choices, a trained belief that I deserved nothing better, led me to be thankful a man would have me at all. “You are only good for breeding” is just one of the constant brainwashing methods he used to keep me down and in control. He (stepfather) had to make sure that I would never amount to anything worth wild and that I would know the only value I had was between my legs!!!

Friends, if you are like me and carrying around the scars of the horrible acts of rape, molestation, degradation, control through fear; then YOUR CHILDREN ARE AT RISK OF BEING PLACED IN A CONTINUED PATTERN OF ACCEPTING WHAT YOU WERE TRAINED TO BELIEVE. Please do not make those same mistakes!!!

Our children, all around the globe, need us, as RESPONSIBLE ADULTS,  to step up now; PROTECT THEM NOW and make it a very important topic for everyone!!! There is no shame that a survivor of abuse should have to bear, simply because someone mistreated, beat, or raped them. Why is this their shame? Did they do something wrong? THEY WERE CHILDREN – how can a child fight off an adult they have to call Mom or Dad?

Yes we want to believe it doesn’t happen inside our wonderful little homes, but guess what???? This is exactly where 93% of these crimes exist, BEHIND THE WALLS MEANT TO PROTECT US!!! Again, using the Illinois DCFS stats for 2011. We had 14,028 cases of Parental Abuse called into the center; we only had 823 cases where a stranger or someone outside of the family circle was involved.

KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT ABUSE!!!

I invite you as one survivor to another, please check out the new website and you can sign the guest book for GENERATION NO MORE!!! You are also invited to request membership in Survivors World online support group for both men and women who have been victims of ANY FORM OF ABUSE!!! We all need the support of others. Most of us have know abuse all our lives and truly are just starting to find out what our lives were meant to be. We all need each other as we build this force to protect the next generation and walk away from the pattern of accepting these acts; standing proud, admiring what we’ve been able to get through, and acknowledge the pain of others.

The ONLY way we will ever end these types of acts within our homes, is by coming together; ONE AND ALL, protecting those within your family, speaking up when another kid is bullied, calling 911 when we see or hear an act of violence against another. These are the things only we can change. There is no miracle pill that is going to change what has been passed down through the ages, ONLY US!!!

Make it count, please do all you can, use your voice, respond to the abuse by speaking against it and protecting those who cannot protect themselves. Women, children, and Men are being battered, controlled, degraded, raped and MURDERED simply because someone needs to have all the power. Is this what mankind was intended to allow? I really don’t believe so and I know together we can give our children something better.

We are all human, We all deserve to be safe within our homes; this is where the fight against abuse begins!!!

(c)Patricia A. McKnight

Author: “My Justice”

http://www.patriciamcknightsjustice.com

http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

Published by @Trecia_Ann

Recently, Facebook locked and removed my decade long creation of work and public profile, which focused my work as an advocate, speaker, mentor, and creator of more than a few programs used throughout Illinois, but also shared nationally and some have reached international platforms. So.... let's start fresh and see where it goes! Please see the writings on this blog dating back into 2011, created after the publication of 'My Justice'. There are two specifically, which have been tagged and shared by many....."Judging Eyes" and "Triggers; what they are and how to handle them" I am a survivor of over thirty years trapped inside the silence and brutality of Family Facilitated Violence, Torture, and Child Sex Trafficking. In Feb. 2011, I chose to publish the secrets and the horrors endured; the many levels of destruction and decay which the community around me witnessed, ignored, condemned and blamed regardless of the injuries and tortures endured. It all became the learned patterns of self-hatred and tolerance which was a huge factor in my adult life. Have you endured childhood harm, or endured terroristic types of abuses? Did you feel unworthy of life, breathing, love or respect? Did you feel as if no one ever really saw you, heard you, or seemed to care about the silent cruelties of your existence? It wasn't until I honestly began a strong focus on healing myself, which took years of researching credible data and published research surrounding the lasting effects of abuse, violence, sexual harm, and human trafficking that I began to understand who I was and why there were many traits and tragedies that influenced my adult choices, relationships, the chaos deep in my soul and the behaviors used to survive. It seemed to control everything inside me and it was filled with pain, and tragedy. The research became my rebuilding journey and my road to advocacy, creating legislative changes, sitting as an active member and providing testimony in the creation of area task force operations, victim/survivor services, trauma informed awareness for law enforcement, educators, social services, healthcare and community providers. I began that research of understanding myself in 2008, wrote the memoir "My Justice' in 2010, began working to change statutes in my home state in 2013, became a Certified DV Advocate and Panel Member of DV Offender Education Program in 2015, which then initiated a decade long career as a trusted, confidential advocate, and a highly skilled and knowledgeable speaker/educator on the topic of Assessment, Family/Survivor Rebuilding, Trauma Informed Care & Response, with the primary focus on family/relationship acts of terroristic abuses and/or human trafficking. Beginning in January 2010 there have been developed programs and connected resources for men, women, children, and families who endured these same types of tragedies. Unfortunately, our human society still has barriers to seek help or speak openly about these types of tragedies, especially if it happened in our homes and families. The laws to protect from such harms were enacted for children in 1963, as an amendment to the Social Security Act. Domestic Violence was not a topic until 1995, when then Senator Joe Biden introduced the Violence Against Women Act, which has since been adapted to provide shelters, counseling, protection orders, and rebuilding services for ALL persons regardless of gender or identity. Although slavery was brought to an end by the historical act of President Abraham Lincoln, we unfortunately have millions of human beings still being traded, sold, controlled and trapped in a hellish evil, which often begins by a parent or intimate partner. Legislation didn't arise regarding the term 'Human Trafficking' until the turn of the new millennium. Protection for victims of human trafficking was signed into law as the 'Trafficking In Persons Act of 2000', which with modern day social media it quickly became a new hot-topic point, which then sparked the creation of Trauma Informed Care, Rebuilding & Trauma Therapy, and thus adult survivors began speaking out about the dark terrifying reality of Child Sex Trafficking. Today many use the term, Modern Day Slavery, and we have multi-faceted task force operations and rescue resources working around the globe to end this new form of human slavery. We also have a few hundred thousand or more who are adult survivors of histories involving Parental Child Sex Trafficking. In one recent study from 2018, they found 85% of these victims were trafficked by parents in trade for drugs, family needs, or basic human survival. As I look back on the career that grew from my own personal need to understand the chaos in my head, the constant failed relationships and almost murderous acts committed against me; as I deal with increasing health problems that includes multiples of head and spinal cord traumas; the most important goal for me from day one of this extremely personal experience; the healing and rebuilding of my own children and grandchildren who were all continued generational victims of the trauma influenced behaviors and choices that resulted from the destruction enforced by my mother and stepfather many decades ago. The little girl, 'Trecia Ann', she survived pure evil as an entire community witnessed, shamed, blamed, and dismissed the visible decay and rot, stench and filth covered, battered and intoxicated body of a young girl who was publicly exploited and shared in the bars of that small town, in her home with boys she attended school with and adult men from the local coalmine. It was as if they all got a thrill from watching her respond to the ring of that little brass bell. They laughed, molested, raped, and purchased for a few bucks or a few beers the sexual use of that young girl right in full public view! Her mother held the power to stop it all, but rather enjoyed having a 'slave' to cook, clean, care for the family as well as entertain the sadistic alcoholic man she chose to marry. Today, I'm so honored and proud to have that little girl's spirit with me. It is through the use of my lived experience, along with a decade of research, and at least five certifications in prevention, response, and trauma; I've assisted a few hundred survivors through the multilevel process of rebuilding and reclaiming their voice, their safety, their freedom! I've trained law enforcement, healthcare, childrens service investigators, our school educators, and co-presented in trainings with some outstanding experts in the field. For the many I've assisted or empowered, they continue becoming thriving survivors, advocates, authors, speakers, and most important of all; they are healing their children and grandchildren! It is a truly beautiful experience and I am so amazed to have been a spark, a resource, or a friend in their life reclaiming freedom. The adult children of generations past have broken through the glass ceiling and finally there is a hint of change in the world. "A lifetime filled with daily torture, tragedy, and pain creates someone completely different than we should have been. We feel that person inside, but our lives are altered by the emotional and physical suffering. We cover it up and hide it deep inside through substance abuse, which falsely helps us believe we are doing fine. The extreme physical and emotional injuries leave our mental and physical selves terribly impacted. Thankfully there is more information and resources of help available today for all types of adverse or traumatic experiences. We have specialized therapeutic help and healthcare professionals developing new ways to identify and assist persons harmed or at risk of harm. We have so much more to do, so please help by having casual open conversations with your friends, family, coworkers, leaders, and especially our kids. Teach them early how to avoid both online and in person harms. Encourage adults and kids both to use the BDA Buddy Skills 2.0, which you will find through my list of assessments and prevention strategies. "My Justice' was written through my own beginning of acknowledging and releasing the personal destruction of the girl once known as 'Trecia Ann'. It is not an easy read, but it has opened many eyes about the reality of evil that occurs inside our homes, against those too small to protect themselves or understand what's happening. It was published to release the thick layers of trauma, sex trafficking, and disfiguring neglect. It is the voice of the enslaved child who existed only to answer the ring of 'his' bell, and the enforced burden to keep my own private terrorist alive. 'My Justice' is NOT SUGGESTED FOR ANYONE UNDER 16 years of age. It discusses the permanently wounding life and the cycle of destruction that held me in tolerating ridicule, control, and violence in my adult relationships. This truth was published to inspire others to take an in-depth look at their life and behaviors as a result of their past, in hopes they too will better understand their suffering today, the continued relationships with the parents and family who inflicted those harms, and finally breaking free from that pain so they can reclaim their voice and their true sense of freedom! We always have the opportunity to learn that we are worthy, capable, incredibly strong, compassionate, and filled with endless possibilities. It is a choice. It is a conscious decision to dig into our trauma, take ownership of our own failures, the harm our choices have caused, and the work we need to do to change it and succeed for ourselves and our families. It is such an honor to have 'My Justice' used at the collegiate level for psychology classes, upcoming therapists, and educators. Today my life is very blessed. I'm finally safe, feel truly loved, finally feeling the magic of life! Always choose to see your star and how it shines on others in your journey. My greatest power only began to show when I first made the choice to end the violent relationships and behaviors around my children; to give them something better, something SAFE!! In choosing to share my own story, I've also gone the serious extra step to educate myself through years of research, attending training opportunities, and collaborating with other advocate resources focused in human resilience and healing from abuse, sexual harm, and sex trafficking. Today there are experts digging deep to recreate help and healing. I've chosen to use my past as a way to inspire a greater good and; hopefully, somehow change the cycle of tragedy in our homes so that we empower our kids to live a more positive path. The best education we can give is healing our survivors of traumatic experiences so we understand what they felt then and what they wish they would have had available; those who could have and should have said something. We can change things for our life today, but best of all in healing our wounds, we give communities a supportive working strategy in assisting the people in our lives. One step at a time, one caring soul at a time, we can give them a path to changing our human society as a whole. This is a tell-all, which was written in the midst of my third nervous breakdown as I struggled to put all my distorted pieces back together, and help my children understand how the violence I tolerated against me invaded their well-being. My children have always been my world, but my behaviors, lack of healthy parenting and life skills, and an inability to remain stable have caused another generation of suffering for my grandchildren. This is a very difficult thing to watch and the continued tragedies that seem to keep affecting the choices in my family. Writing this book was only the beginning of trying to release all that has haunted me for so many years. I have finally removed his thick, cruel, coal-stained hand which trapped me in fear for decades. Those hands and his evil, her housemaid and caregiver; created a slave, and that slave submitted to horrific and brutal attacks but always felt it was her burden to bear. I lived with that hand holding me down, continually terrorizing and silencing, stealing my voice to protect their pure evil. Throughout decades the dysfunction caused by the chaos inside my head would affect every relationship, my children, and cast a shadow of darkness on everything good in my life. Living in the true spirit of freedom, I have now become a strong advocate against the life cycle of human destruction. If we want to control our life and achievements today, then we cannot live stuck in the tragedy of hardships and pain. Life is meant to be lived, to be enjoyed, to see what you can do and what you can achieve, to find out what is important to you. We all become adults. We all have a burden to bear. Stand up and keep moving, keep living, keep dreaming. You have two choices in recreating and rebuilding yourself. Do you stay stuck in the dark shadows of your past? Do you dig deep and find that spirit that kept you alive so that you can become the proud, strong, capable, resilient, kind human being? Which do you choose and how will that choice affect your children and theirs? We can be supportive, and provide resources and suggest help so that families suffering from addiction or past trauma can find a recovery balance to rebuild their family into a more positive life pattern. We will recover, we will rebuild, we will conquer the pains of yesterday to live in the true sense of life, freedom, and safety today. Patricia 'Trish' McKnight Author: 'My Justice' Fndr/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Alliance, NFP Mentor/Advocate/Speaker/Survivor

17 thoughts on “What are we going to do for them???

  1. Patricia, Faith and I have found the same appathy with politicians, celebraties and most of our church leaders, but I have been amazed at the number of people and small ministries that are popping up all over to deal with abuse.

  2. BEHIND THESE WALLS

    Do you know the truth about abuse so wrong
    All the scars it has left behind,
    The secrets, so many, left untold, oh the hurt
    Poisoned us with words that corrupted our mind.

    Stole our innocence, controlled, by so much fear
    Made us believe we were useless and freaks,
    Only good for one thing and in our minds we believed
    In our families, eyes closed, no-one ever dared speak.

    Who really knows what goes on behind the walls
    Who really listens, who really cares,
    What they don’t see, to them nothing happened
    Those secrets are ours, the pain we must bear.

    The scars from abuse bled in
    Surrounded and invaded the lives of our children
    At risk they are, from the same pattern
    That WE had been subjected and lived in.

    We must fight for all the children
    Around the globe, to protect and care,
    Keep them safe from abuse so horrid
    From their lives that were never fair.

    BEHIND THESE WALLS!!! that were meant to protect children
    Their shame, it never should be,
    Trapped, they were too young to fight evil
    But as one, we can come together, and set our children free!!!

    Written by Mary Graziano
    copyrighted
    October 31, 2012

    1. Mary, absolutely awesome and perfect!!! Indeed we never know the truth about what exists behind the walls meant to protect us. No one wants to see inside for fear of invading privacy of the controlled environment, but if we on the outside, do not pay attention to what exists on the inside another generation of children will have their innocence murdered and their souls invaded by evil. ty, hugs back trish 🙂

    1. Michal, every day you are a huge part of my inspiration, making it count and making it crucial to involve everyone in our society with the mission to end violence and abuse within our own homes. much love dear friend, ty 🙂

  3. Note- this is not about abortion- I am pro-choice for personal rights! Tthis is about all the other rights that every other woman also has a right to demand and whose choices are not considered as important and whose life , liberty and pursuit of happiness depends on more than reproductive rights! There is more to life then the right to end it- some of us are struggling to live it!

    Apparently the war on women has nothing to do with beating them, raping them, abusing them , starving them, or taking away their children to award them to the batterer who wants to avoid child support and alimony. It has everything to do with dividing women into two political groups; those who want children and those who want the right not to have them! In the process the majority is split into minorities without enough power to affect change for womankind but enough power to sway elections. We are being USED ladies and abused. WAKE UP!

    If you ask me – ignoring all the things that we really need- like the litany of problems I mentioned above and jobs, education, the debt, war, economy: price of food and utilities etc. etc. is the war on women.

    IGNORING all of US- is the war!

    When is the last time you needed an abortion more than food, safety for yourself and your children , a place to live, a job, your batterer jailed for his crime, or a court to listen objectively before turning our children over to the pedophiles or batterers who abused them?

    But what do we know – we are beaten, battered, stupid breeders who apparently don’t need equal rights, just a lot of rhetoric that reproductive rights makes us the most powerful beings on earth because we hold the power of life and death.

    What a load of shit- we are being murdered at the rate of 4 a day by our intimate partners. We are beaten by those we love and trust every 9 seconds – we are raped every 9 minutes and they tell us all we want is to abort a possible pregnancy?

    Gimme a break – I want the right to castrate the bastard who raped me and any other son of a bitch who rapes my child. I want these batterers locked away! I want pedophiles castrated and put on an island. I don’t give a rat’s ass about their civil rights.

    I care about the civil rights of the majority – which in case you have not noticed – WE DO NOT HAVE! What we have is the right to abort and nothing more! I care about the rights of innocent children who have no voice and are victimized by adults, the courts, pedophiles and would be mothers who take their rage out on the child instead of the perpetrator.

    1. BJ – I am just getting back on this morn and wanted to share, this is powerful and very true indeed. It is horrifying to think that with all that we go through somehow the one thing our government tends to focus on is our right to abort!!! how unbelievable is it that we and our children, who continually are disregarded, raped, beaten, murdered never have these issues put forth on the ballots? What in the world is the greater issue here? I believe that to see us as simply child carriers is to not see all that a woman is capable and worthy of. I believe that if we were to see her beauty through the battles she has survived we would then see beauty in a different light. I believe that when we begin to address the true civil rights of every human beging, the right to be safe in our existance without fear of being raped, beaten, murdered; this would be the true rights of all humans. It is survival and the right to be safe that is needed in our world today, for all that lives and breathes. You have a marvelous and political way of looking at things, while my views are somewhat different in the matter of “what is right and fair for all human beings”. It is a human respect issue, not one that we are less because they need the power to control us. thanks as always for your input, you indeed have a valuable voice and are a huge representative for all that we need to balance in our world today. thank you 🙂

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