Child Maltreatment Report FFY 2011

Child Maltreatment Report FFY 2011.

It amazes me that a pic of an adorable little kitten can get 500+ likes, but the reports of abuses and crimes against our children, I’m told to stop sharing, that I’m spamming people. Really which would you consider to be more important? Can we not give our kids the attention they so rightly deserve during Child Abuse Prevention Month, or will we keep silencing them. ‘It’s in the family and we don’t talk about these things’, really? Keeping these dark ugly secrets shamed me into believing I deserved nothing different in life. At 9 my mother caught me naked in bed with my stepfather, got mad at me and sent me to my room for the night. At 9 was the first time I had a loaded shot gun shoved in my face and threatened to blow my f’n head off. At 11 he sold me for pure enjoyment because he could. He was treated to a few beers as the adult men watched a child be fed alcohol until she couldn’t stand up. They pawed at me and took turns feeling me up in a public bar. At twelve he used that same shotgun that was used pointed at my face at age 9, and shoved the barrel inside of me repeatedly. Tearing my insides apart as he threatened again to blow my head off, but this time it would be from the very inside of my vagina. He used the barrel of his favorite shotgun to take my virginity. At 13 I became his whore and the small town I lived in all viewed and judged me as just that, his property to do with as he pleased, o matter what that meant. At 12 I stopped bathing because it wasn’t safe to allow him to trap me in the small area. My mother during twelve years of his sadistic torture not once ever did anything to help me or stop him. In fact she neglected to see me as human. I was his object and she sacrificed her daughter to him so that she would not have to comply with her wifely duties. Caring for the family was my responsibility. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, and caring for my younger sister and my older brother, it was all on me. My skin rotted away in the filth and infection from not bathing. My arms and legs still bare the horrific scars from the puss leaking, infected, and disgusting sores that covered my flesh. My teeth became black broken fangs from never being given a simple toothbrush or having one trip to the dentist. I now carry all of this ugliness on my body. My reflection always is my reminder of these nightmares. It has taken a long time to see myself as a human, deserving of love, respect, caring. Not just an object to be tortured, beaten, raped, sold. Now this is why it matters to me, does it matter at all to you? If it does, then please help me share and lets get this information out there. Trust the town that ignored and judged me as a child, well there are many others like it and there are millions of children living in that same nightmarish life I had to endure for twelve long torture filled, decaying, rotting, disgusting, hellish years. How do you think my life followed when I left home? My six relationships throughout my adult life were a pattern filled with repeated attempts to actually murder me and take my very breath away. When will it all matter enough that it gets as much support as that adorable little kitten?

Published by @ButterflyTrish

I am a survivor of over thirty years trapped inside the silence and brutality of Family Crimes, Child Sex Trafficking, and a life lived pattern of tolerance for over 30 years in almost murderous relationships. In Feb. 2011 I chose to publish the truth about what happened in our home, the community around me, and the learned patterns of self-hatred and tolerance which became such a huge factor in my life. My life today was built through publishing 'My Justice'. I never would felt worthy of life, breathing, love & respect with first healing myself. There were many things the traits and tragedies that influenced my life seemed to control everything inside me and it was nothing but sadness and fake emotions. Only by facing the horrors I went through, the choices I made as a woman & mother, then relating to the greatest guilt I have; how the trauma behavior has affected my children's lives. It's my hope to help others get through their battles, regardless of the type of trauma because when we hurt our lives are forever changed. This graphic, violent memoir is NOT SUGGESTED FOR ANYONE UNDER 14 years of age. It discusses the permanently wounding life and the cycle of destruction that held me in expecting/tolerating ridicule and violence in my adult relationships. This truth was published to inspire others to take an in-depth look at their life and behaviors as a result of their past. Connect the dots of your rebuilding in understanding the pattern of adult choices in coping addictions, parenting, and partners; even affecting our careers and self-sustainable life. I'm so honored to have 'My Justice' used at the collegiate level for psychology classes, upcoming therapists and educators. Today my life is very blessed. I'm finally safe, finally truly loved, finally feeling the magic of what life is supposed to be like. My greatest power only began to show when I first made the choice to end the violent relationships and behaviors around my children; to give them something better, something SAFE!! In choosing to share my own story, I've also gone that serious extra step to educate myself through years of research, attending training opportunity, and collaborating with other advocate resources, abuse, sexual harm, and the experts digging deep to recreate help and healing. I've chosen to use my past as a way to inspire a greater good; hopefully somehow change the cycle of tragedy in our homes so that we empower our kids to live a more positive path. The best education we can give, is a survivor of traumatic experiences who can use what they felt then and what they wish they would have had available; those who could have and should have said something. We can change things for our life today, but best of all in healing our wounds, we give communities a supportive working strategy in assisting the people in our lives. One step at a time, one caring soul at a time, we can give them a path to changing our human society as a whole. This is a tell all, which was written in the midst of my third nervous breakdown as I struggled to put all my distorted pieces back together, help my children understand how the violence I tolerated against me invaded their emotional well-being. My children have always been my world, but my behaviors, lack of healthy parenting and life skills, and an inability to remain stable has caused another generation of suffering for my grandchildren. This is a very difficult thing to watch and the continued tragedies that seem to keep affecting the choices in my family. Writing this book was only the beginning of trying to release all that has haunted me for so many years. I have finally removed his thick, cruel, coal stained hand which trapped me in fear for decades. Those hands and his evil, her housemaid and caregiver; they created a slave and that slave submitted to horrific and brutal attacks but always felt it was her burden to bare. I lived with that hand holding me down to terrorize and steal away my voice, holding me captive in the dysfunction of the aftermath and casting a shadow of darkness on everything good in my life. Living in the true spirit of freedom, I have now become a strong advocate against the life cycle of human destruction. We cannot live stuck in the tragedy of hardships and pain. Life is meant to be lived, to be enjoyed, to see what you can do and what you can achieve, to find out what is important to you. We all become adults. We all have a burden to bare. Stand up and keep moving, keep living, keep dreaming. You have two choices in recreating and rebuilding yourself. Do you stay stuck in the dark shadows of your past? Do you dig deep and find that spirit that kept you alive so that you could become the proud, strong, capable, resilient, kind human being ? Which do you choose and how will that choice affect your children and theirs? We can be supportive, provide resources and suggestions for help so that families suffering with addiction or past trauma themselves can find a recovery balance to rebuild their family in a more positive life pattern. We will recover, we will rebuild, we will conquer the pains of yesterday to live in the true sense of life, freedom and safety today. Patricia 'Trish' McKnight Author: 'My Justice' Fndr/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Alliance, NFP Mentor/Advocate/Speaker/Survivor

2 thoughts on “Child Maltreatment Report FFY 2011

  1. You are so right. The commercials for mistreatment of animals,, alabiet necessary, moves people to tears, but no where is there a commercial for the terrible abuse suffered by children of all ages. I don’t know why this is the case but have thought of it often. I would not know where to go to ensure that such public awareness is broadcast to the viewing audience.

  2. I agree. I love animals but I ‘m sorry I love our children more. They are treated worse than animals and are thrown away like garbage! I’m sick of the way people ignore abused children! It’s time we take a stand for them like we do our animals for God’s sake! What is wrong with people? So self absorbed that they want to ignore abuse on CHILDREN.

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