Horrifying autobiography inspiring lives around the world

“My Justice”

‘Life changing, Highly Reviewed

and now

Required Reading

by Dr. Brenda Joyce Orozco Markert-Green

Marriage & Family Therapy Training Course

La Sierra University

Riverside, California’

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‘My Justice’ is a horrifying, but excellently written autobiography about the sadistic thirty plus years survived by one local woman who grew up within the small community of Freeburg, Illinois. Located just 40 miles outside of St. Louis; Author Patricia A. McKnight is sharing a life lived in hell, which is a FIVE STAR RATED tale of just how dark one man’s actions can be to the child within his home.

Ms. Debra Mize, Prevention Coordinator & Educator for Violence Prevention Center of Southwestern Illinois, refers to this incredible story as the most powerful since she read and attended a speaking engagement presented by the great author Dave Pelzer and his autobiography, ‘A Child Called It; One child’s courage to survive’ which made the leading New York Times Best Seller List”.

“My Justice; Shocking, Disturbing, Emotionally Charging throughout every page!”

This powerful story will rock the moral foundations of everyone who reads. Patricia A. McKnight; Author/Advocate/Speaker, now founder of Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Programming, begins her story at just five years old as a happy little girl filled with excitement, but the moment she open’s the door to the next thirty plus years of her life, everything you thought you knew about the evils lurking within our homes will be forever changed’.

Dr. Brenda Joyce Orozco Markert-Green: whose highly skilled reputation as a Family & Marriage Counselor, Owner & CEO at Afterglow Counseling, Mediation & Family Services, Trainer for American Association for Marriage & Family Therapy, Educator and Adjunct Faculty Board Member of La Sierra University, located in Riverside, California is now using this incredible autobiography as REQUIRED READING for her  students in the field of therapy and family counseling. “My family therapy students are required not only to read this autobiography, they are also required to complete an exam and classroom discussion on what they absorbed and felt; what can they take forward as therapist to increase their senses, skills and expertise as counselors, and to enhance their abilities to better help their clients. This story leaves a deep, lasting impression on my students, which I’ve seen first hand. It truly changes how we see the lives of those around us and how the victims are left so shattered by these acts of viciousness.”

Mr. Peter Thomas Senese: Best Selling Geo-Political Thriller Author/Child Advocate & Founder of I CARE Foundation, who also helped build a women’s shelter and who, in his capacity with the I CARE Foundation, sponsored a conference at the United Nations at the request of the Department of State on international parental child abduction and trafficking, while working to create new laws and government policies that will protect children from kidnapping said of Ms. McKnight in numerous articles and essays, a ‘Hero; A conqueror over abuse and calls this book a ‘Blue Print to Freedom from Abuse’, but it is so much more for by penned word and by action after action, Ms. McKnight and all that encompasses who she is educates or reminds each of us that all of our voices matter. On this note, ‘My Justice’ is a map to find one’s courage, and in it, freedom. As an avid reader and best-selling author, ‘My Justice’ sits in a very special area in my home – and next to ‘Unbowed’ by Noble Prize writer and friend, Wangari Maathai – as ‘My Justice’ has had that significant an impact on my life and my own call-to-arms to protect innocent children from abuse. In my capacity with the I CARE Foundation fighting against child kidnappers, there are many times that I would ask myself while dealing with these difficult cases of families in crisis, “What would Tricia do?” Then answer has led to many children once bound to know freedom . . . and that is just how significant of an impact ‘My Justice’ has had on me and the community of children we serve around the world.

Ms. Linda Walcher: Educator in the Fayetteville & Freeburg, Illinois school system for over 20 years and now a leading member in the Illinois Retired Teachers Association and mentor for many college students has this to share about ‘My Justice’ and the little girl she once had as a student. ‘As an educator, I first met Ms. McKnight when she entered my fourth grade class. Being fresh out of college and a very young teacher then; she was one of my first students. In her bright blue eyes I saw just a happy, beautiful little girl. As I moved on to continue my long time career in the same school system she attended, I truly had no clue as to the life I could have saved in that child. It is only in the last few years, since first reading the details of her endured beatings and sadistic crimes of her step-father, that I have reached out and fully support every effort she puts forth on a daily basis to use her learned and lived knowledge to try and help many others. As an active member in the Retired Teachers Association and with the mentoring of upcoming educators now in college, there is not enough I can say about how this book has changed my entire thinking process. Back in the 70’s we were not as educated or made aware as we should have been about child abuse and what signs to watch for in children. Throughout my years as an educator I was able to help rescue a few children, but reading this story brought all of that little girl’s Red Flag Warning Signs, which she was waving around with all her might, but I just didn’t have the knowledge or the training then to help her. ‘My Justice’ is a book which I highly recommend for anyone who spends time with children.’

Incredibly, Ms. McKnight has taken all of her many years of tragedy and turned them into something she is hoping will help rescue victims of Child Abuse and Family or Domestic Violence. She has now built Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery, which can be found by visiting her website http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com. There she begins with a few basic steps which are FREE to use by absolutely anyone to help with rebuilding life after any form of abuse or violence has effected you or someone you love. On this new site you will find educational and awareness information about what to do if you’ve just recently been harmed and what we can be aware of as a society to help those around us who may be struggling to cope through some form of abuse.

Patricia A. McKnight, known as ‘Trish’ to those who chat with her almost daily, has endured a life that most of us cannot imagine, but to her it was just seen as ‘normal’. She knows the path many victims of these crimes follow in the aftermath of being violated. In her drive to better help us understand she is making all of us aware and hoping to be just one of the voices in the beginning of change.

‘The purpose for publishing ‘My Justice’ was a need to explain and apologize to my children for the many broken repeated violent relationships I engaged in, which have left wounds in their lives. The bitter truth is there was never any legal form of justice to come from all the years of almost murderous violence and sadistic evil, but I needed to release myself from the hand covering my mouth and holding me captive in dysfunctions and madness all these decades; this is how and why I needed to publish this story. What has made a deeper impact on me is the many millions living in our society today just like me; some with even more horrific stories than mine. Because of the way we have been taught to view these actions, there are now an estimated 50 Million or more who know how dark a parent or trusted person’s actions can become. It should be these stories of generations past and present; my voice and the voices of many others, which should be our society’s learning examples of how these crimes, and they are actually evil criminal acts against our own children and our partners; how they set up human beings to live out their lives in a broken existence without ever seeing any value in their person. Even though these actions have been going on in our homes and communities since the dawn of mankind, doesn’t make it the right way to live. It means that we have to step up our game against these behaviors and see them for what they are ‘Nothing less than a learned way to live and treat others’, a disrespect and need for power over another human being. We need to toughen our prosecutions for these crimes and begin protecting everyone around us, not just our own children. What we have permitted by teaching silence to the victims, is what I refer to as our own ‘Man-Made Cancer’ only there is no wonder science which will ever provide the cure. Only by being aware, being vigilant, and being educated about the impacts of the aftermath; the many lifelong struggles of mental health disorders such as; P.T.S.D; Depression, Anxiety, Drug & Alcohol Addictions, Eating Disorders, and even worse the many who’ve committed suicide because of the horrible after effects. Seeing these ugly realities for what they are is the only way we will be able to change what has been taught as so normal. I believe when you discard someone because of their dysfunctions and what many may judge as being ‘less worthy’ or ‘damaged’; then you are discarding a victim or a survivor, someone who has been or is now being brutalized by someone they love. It is by learning from the experts, many of whom make up the millions of survivors today, that we will be able to change our thinking towards these crimes. This is our only hope for providing some form of rescue for our children’s future. Our kids are watching all of the activities across the internet today and they are paying attention to what we do when it comes to helping them cope with all their daily battles. I wonder how they will think of us if we continue to ignore these ugly, vicious, soul destroying actions as we’ve been taught?”

If you would like to find our more about this survivor turned, Author/Advocate/Speaker/Talk Radio Prod & Host, Founder of Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery, you can contact her by emailing direct to butterflydreamsabuserecovery@gmail.com or tricia.mcknight@hotmail.com. You can also visit her website http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com to enlighten yourself and others about the recovery process or what you may be able to do, not only to spot a victim in your family or workplace, but also create a greater vigilance within your communities and school systems. ‘Trish’ can also be found across many of our social networking sites today. This engaging and empowering speaker is happy to share with your churches, schools, any outlet you choose to give hope and help to all of those who directly relate with children, young single mothers, and many men who are living the life of heavy dark secrets today.

You are invited to view her latest speaking engagement through this You Tube Video; http://youtu.be/tujWedUtdf0 This was at the Illinois Healthcares Grant Education Seminar held in Belleville, Illinois; National Shrine of our Lady of the Snows, where the Violence Prevention Center initiated a training seminar with the outstanding Dr. Elaine Alpert. One of America’s Global Health Staff & Advisors out of Massachusetts General Hospital, who is a panel discussion member and actively speaking for the Education and Enhanced Collaboration of Health Professionals to rescue and provide help for victims of child abuse, domestic violence, and human trafficking. 

Follow Patricia A. McKnight or listen to her live blog talk radio program every Monday & Wednesday evening:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery

http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

Google +, Twitter, Linkedin & Pinterest either Patricia A. McKnight or Tricia McKnight

You can purchase your copy of ‘My Justice’ in paperback, e-book, Kindle & Nook through most online book resources. E-book & Kindle editions just $2.99

References:

Dr. Elaine Alpert, http://www.ccvs.state.vt.us/sites/default/files/resources/E%20Alpert%20-%20Human%20Trafficking%20-%20Panel.pdf

http://www.ccvs.state.vt.us/content/elaine-alpert-human-trafficking-and-health-care-call-health-professional-education-and-0

Author: Dave Pezler “A Child Called It: One child’s courage to survive”

Published Sept. 1, 1995 by Health Communications, Incorporated and now a well known library and school reference autobiography.

©Patricia A. McKnight

Breese, Illinois

For contact please email: tricia.mcknight@live.com

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

Published by @Trecia_Ann

Recently, Facebook locked and removed my decade long creation of work and public profile, which focused my work as an advocate, speaker, mentor, and creator of more than a few programs used throughout Illinois, but also shared nationally and some have reached international platforms. So.... let's start fresh and see where it goes! Please see the writings on this blog dating back into 2011, created after the publication of 'My Justice'. There are two specifically, which have been tagged and shared by many....."Judging Eyes" and "Triggers; what they are and how to handle them" I am a survivor of over thirty years trapped inside the silence and brutality of Family Facilitated Violence, Torture, and Child Sex Trafficking. In Feb. 2011, I chose to publish the secrets and the horrors endured; the many levels of destruction and decay which the community around me witnessed, ignored, condemned and blamed regardless of the injuries and tortures endured. It all became the learned patterns of self-hatred and tolerance which was a huge factor in my adult life. Have you endured childhood harm, or endured terroristic types of abuses? Did you feel unworthy of life, breathing, love or respect? Did you feel as if no one ever really saw you, heard you, or seemed to care about the silent cruelties of your existence? It wasn't until I honestly began a strong focus on healing myself, which took years of researching credible data and published research surrounding the lasting effects of abuse, violence, sexual harm, and human trafficking that I began to understand who I was and why there were many traits and tragedies that influenced my adult choices, relationships, the chaos deep in my soul and the behaviors used to survive. It seemed to control everything inside me and it was filled with pain, and tragedy. The research became my rebuilding journey and my road to advocacy, creating legislative changes, sitting as an active member and providing testimony in the creation of area task force operations, victim/survivor services, trauma informed awareness for law enforcement, educators, social services, healthcare and community providers. I began that research of understanding myself in 2008, wrote the memoir "My Justice' in 2010, began working to change statutes in my home state in 2013, became a Certified DV Advocate and Panel Member of DV Offender Education Program in 2015, which then initiated a decade long career as a trusted, confidential advocate, and a highly skilled and knowledgeable speaker/educator on the topic of Assessment, Family/Survivor Rebuilding, Trauma Informed Care & Response, with the primary focus on family/relationship acts of terroristic abuses and/or human trafficking. Beginning in January 2010 there have been developed programs and connected resources for men, women, children, and families who endured these same types of tragedies. Unfortunately, our human society still has barriers to seek help or speak openly about these types of tragedies, especially if it happened in our homes and families. The laws to protect from such harms were enacted for children in 1963, as an amendment to the Social Security Act. Domestic Violence was not a topic until 1995, when then Senator Joe Biden introduced the Violence Against Women Act, which has since been adapted to provide shelters, counseling, protection orders, and rebuilding services for ALL persons regardless of gender or identity. Although slavery was brought to an end by the historical act of President Abraham Lincoln, we unfortunately have millions of human beings still being traded, sold, controlled and trapped in a hellish evil, which often begins by a parent or intimate partner. Legislation didn't arise regarding the term 'Human Trafficking' until the turn of the new millennium. Protection for victims of human trafficking was signed into law as the 'Trafficking In Persons Act of 2000', which with modern day social media it quickly became a new hot-topic point, which then sparked the creation of Trauma Informed Care, Rebuilding & Trauma Therapy, and thus adult survivors began speaking out about the dark terrifying reality of Child Sex Trafficking. Today many use the term, Modern Day Slavery, and we have multi-faceted task force operations and rescue resources working around the globe to end this new form of human slavery. We also have a few hundred thousand or more who are adult survivors of histories involving Parental Child Sex Trafficking. In one recent study from 2018, they found 85% of these victims were trafficked by parents in trade for drugs, family needs, or basic human survival. As I look back on the career that grew from my own personal need to understand the chaos in my head, the constant failed relationships and almost murderous acts committed against me; as I deal with increasing health problems that includes multiples of head and spinal cord traumas; the most important goal for me from day one of this extremely personal experience; the healing and rebuilding of my own children and grandchildren who were all continued generational victims of the trauma influenced behaviors and choices that resulted from the destruction enforced by my mother and stepfather many decades ago. The little girl, 'Trecia Ann', she survived pure evil as an entire community witnessed, shamed, blamed, and dismissed the visible decay and rot, stench and filth covered, battered and intoxicated body of a young girl who was publicly exploited and shared in the bars of that small town, in her home with boys she attended school with and adult men from the local coalmine. It was as if they all got a thrill from watching her respond to the ring of that little brass bell. They laughed, molested, raped, and purchased for a few bucks or a few beers the sexual use of that young girl right in full public view! Her mother held the power to stop it all, but rather enjoyed having a 'slave' to cook, clean, care for the family as well as entertain the sadistic alcoholic man she chose to marry. Today, I'm so honored and proud to have that little girl's spirit with me. It is through the use of my lived experience, along with a decade of research, and at least five certifications in prevention, response, and trauma; I've assisted a few hundred survivors through the multilevel process of rebuilding and reclaiming their voice, their safety, their freedom! I've trained law enforcement, healthcare, childrens service investigators, our school educators, and co-presented in trainings with some outstanding experts in the field. For the many I've assisted or empowered, they continue becoming thriving survivors, advocates, authors, speakers, and most important of all; they are healing their children and grandchildren! It is a truly beautiful experience and I am so amazed to have been a spark, a resource, or a friend in their life reclaiming freedom. The adult children of generations past have broken through the glass ceiling and finally there is a hint of change in the world. "A lifetime filled with daily torture, tragedy, and pain creates someone completely different than we should have been. We feel that person inside, but our lives are altered by the emotional and physical suffering. We cover it up and hide it deep inside through substance abuse, which falsely helps us believe we are doing fine. The extreme physical and emotional injuries leave our mental and physical selves terribly impacted. Thankfully there is more information and resources of help available today for all types of adverse or traumatic experiences. We have specialized therapeutic help and healthcare professionals developing new ways to identify and assist persons harmed or at risk of harm. We have so much more to do, so please help by having casual open conversations with your friends, family, coworkers, leaders, and especially our kids. Teach them early how to avoid both online and in person harms. Encourage adults and kids both to use the BDA Buddy Skills 2.0, which you will find through my list of assessments and prevention strategies. "My Justice' was written through my own beginning of acknowledging and releasing the personal destruction of the girl once known as 'Trecia Ann'. It is not an easy read, but it has opened many eyes about the reality of evil that occurs inside our homes, against those too small to protect themselves or understand what's happening. It was published to release the thick layers of trauma, sex trafficking, and disfiguring neglect. It is the voice of the enslaved child who existed only to answer the ring of 'his' bell, and the enforced burden to keep my own private terrorist alive. 'My Justice' is NOT SUGGESTED FOR ANYONE UNDER 16 years of age. It discusses the permanently wounding life and the cycle of destruction that held me in tolerating ridicule, control, and violence in my adult relationships. This truth was published to inspire others to take an in-depth look at their life and behaviors as a result of their past, in hopes they too will better understand their suffering today, the continued relationships with the parents and family who inflicted those harms, and finally breaking free from that pain so they can reclaim their voice and their true sense of freedom! We always have the opportunity to learn that we are worthy, capable, incredibly strong, compassionate, and filled with endless possibilities. It is a choice. It is a conscious decision to dig into our trauma, take ownership of our own failures, the harm our choices have caused, and the work we need to do to change it and succeed for ourselves and our families. It is such an honor to have 'My Justice' used at the collegiate level for psychology classes, upcoming therapists, and educators. Today my life is very blessed. I'm finally safe, feel truly loved, finally feeling the magic of life! Always choose to see your star and how it shines on others in your journey. My greatest power only began to show when I first made the choice to end the violent relationships and behaviors around my children; to give them something better, something SAFE!! In choosing to share my own story, I've also gone the serious extra step to educate myself through years of research, attending training opportunities, and collaborating with other advocate resources focused in human resilience and healing from abuse, sexual harm, and sex trafficking. Today there are experts digging deep to recreate help and healing. I've chosen to use my past as a way to inspire a greater good and; hopefully, somehow change the cycle of tragedy in our homes so that we empower our kids to live a more positive path. The best education we can give is healing our survivors of traumatic experiences so we understand what they felt then and what they wish they would have had available; those who could have and should have said something. We can change things for our life today, but best of all in healing our wounds, we give communities a supportive working strategy in assisting the people in our lives. One step at a time, one caring soul at a time, we can give them a path to changing our human society as a whole. This is a tell-all, which was written in the midst of my third nervous breakdown as I struggled to put all my distorted pieces back together, and help my children understand how the violence I tolerated against me invaded their well-being. My children have always been my world, but my behaviors, lack of healthy parenting and life skills, and an inability to remain stable have caused another generation of suffering for my grandchildren. This is a very difficult thing to watch and the continued tragedies that seem to keep affecting the choices in my family. Writing this book was only the beginning of trying to release all that has haunted me for so many years. I have finally removed his thick, cruel, coal-stained hand which trapped me in fear for decades. Those hands and his evil, her housemaid and caregiver; created a slave, and that slave submitted to horrific and brutal attacks but always felt it was her burden to bear. I lived with that hand holding me down, continually terrorizing and silencing, stealing my voice to protect their pure evil. Throughout decades the dysfunction caused by the chaos inside my head would affect every relationship, my children, and cast a shadow of darkness on everything good in my life. Living in the true spirit of freedom, I have now become a strong advocate against the life cycle of human destruction. If we want to control our life and achievements today, then we cannot live stuck in the tragedy of hardships and pain. Life is meant to be lived, to be enjoyed, to see what you can do and what you can achieve, to find out what is important to you. We all become adults. We all have a burden to bear. Stand up and keep moving, keep living, keep dreaming. You have two choices in recreating and rebuilding yourself. Do you stay stuck in the dark shadows of your past? Do you dig deep and find that spirit that kept you alive so that you can become the proud, strong, capable, resilient, kind human being? Which do you choose and how will that choice affect your children and theirs? We can be supportive, and provide resources and suggest help so that families suffering from addiction or past trauma can find a recovery balance to rebuild their family into a more positive life pattern. We will recover, we will rebuild, we will conquer the pains of yesterday to live in the true sense of life, freedom, and safety today. Patricia 'Trish' McKnight Author: 'My Justice' Fndr/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Alliance, NFP Mentor/Advocate/Speaker/Survivor

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