Neighbors helping Neighbors in 2014 Resolution for Change

http://youtu.be/JU-c-3G1R_U

018 Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com    

Resolution for Change!!

After the Christmas holiday and now things are looking into the New Year, 2014 is quickly approaching. Have you given though to your New Year’s Resolution? You know, those list we make out every year and hope to achieve completing at least one of them.

This year I am asking you to think about a different type of resolution. A resolution that is not just a good way to help yourself, but also a great way to help your neighbors and empower your community teen involvement. In our environment, be it an apartment complex or a community neighborhood, we may not want to admit there is a problem with any type of abuse or violence within our homes and our family unit, but during the holiday gathering you just might have been triggered by something which made you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

Maybe you have a memory of something that happened to you? Perhaps you have seen rage or violence break out during family gatherings or you saw something against another person in your circle? Maybe you heard fights or even cries for help in a neighbors house?

There are many generations of families, which have been trained into the acceptance and tolerance of cruel actions from others within our family. Yes some of these actions are to be expected within this unit; however, when it comes to getting attacked in some physically violent way or being sexually assaulted or touched without giving your approval; these are things which we do not have to tolerate. We can change the teaching we have accepted throughout centuries and begin to teach our children to respect, not only their own rights to be safe & feel safe, but also for the rights of others. We can empower them to follow the moral decency and inspire kindness among their peers.

When we teach our children to look out for their friends at school and whom they socialize with, we are able to empower them with confidence and a sense of community pride. They begin to feel as if they are part of something, that something is the better safer world we want to give them tomorrow.

Please talk with your children, age appropriately but openly, about the actions of violence within the family unit and inappropriate sexual contact. Teach them to watch out for their senior neighbors who may need help or emergency assistance. Teach them to watch out for younger children out playing in their yards or in our community parks; at school events, sports activities. Teaching them to keep their eyes open and be ready to intervene in some way. It is by talking about these actions which most often happen in secret; behind the closed doors of our own homes and in the houses of our neighbors, being honest with our children today is the best way to teach them about defending their own rights as human beings and protecting themselves no matter who may be harming them or someone they know.

As a radio host & crisis/peer support advocate; I’ve talked with hundreds who have endured severe sexual violence and physical battery in their homes, by members of their family. We know by the reports reflected by our National Child Abuse and Neglect Data Systems collected from every account, that most often parents are the offenders of child maltreatment. We also know from reports that Domestic Violence is perpetrated by both male & female offenders. We know that the offenders of these types of crimes are only protected by the forced silence within our taught family unit to tolerate and see past these crimes. However, when the victim is old enough, ready to face the dark secrets of crimes committed against them, that might seriously have impacted their lives with the after effect of trauma; these victims will eventually speak out to some person. It may be a therapist or counselor, it may be law or another family member, but they will speak out. You can begin to tell the offenders in our community that only secrets protect them from being prosecuted, so when someone reports the crimes they will indeed have to pay the price for the harm they have caused.

I would not want to be the one who allowed a sexual predator around my children, or other children, to be later held accountable for never reporting the crime and for the harm caused to the child from forced and unacceptable sexual contact.

Think about your New Year’s Resolution and how we can begin to change the past and mend our family unit. It is love that binds a family together and that love should not be destroyed by the secrets of harm we have been taught to ignore. Be the beginning of change in your family and make a different kind of new year’s resolution this year.

 
Resolution for Change
Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery
Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight
Breese, Il
Advocate/Author/Speaker

Radio Prod & Host

Survivor

Founder/CEO

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Butterfly Dreams Team

Michal Madison, Honorable Judge Mary Elizabeth Bullock, John L. Mealer, Kelly Townsend, Julia D’Alfonzo, Linda Walcher, Dr. Brenda Markert-Green

Published by @ButterflyTrish

I am a survivor of over thirty years trapped inside the silence and brutality of Family Crimes, Child Sex Trafficking, and a life lived pattern of tolerance for over 30 years in almost murderous relationships. In Feb. 2011 I chose to publish the truth about what happened in our home, the community around me, and the learned patterns of self-hatred and tolerance which became such a huge factor in my life. My life today was built through publishing 'My Justice'. I never would felt worthy of life, breathing, love & respect with first healing myself. There were many things the traits and tragedies that influenced my life seemed to control everything inside me and it was nothing but sadness and fake emotions. Only by facing the horrors I went through, the choices I made as a woman & mother, then relating to the greatest guilt I have; how the trauma behavior has affected my children's lives. It's my hope to help others get through their battles, regardless of the type of trauma because when we hurt our lives are forever changed. This graphic, violent memoir is NOT SUGGESTED FOR ANYONE UNDER 14 years of age. It discusses the permanently wounding life and the cycle of destruction that held me in expecting/tolerating ridicule and violence in my adult relationships. This truth was published to inspire others to take an in-depth look at their life and behaviors as a result of their past. Connect the dots of your rebuilding in understanding the pattern of adult choices in coping addictions, parenting, and partners; even affecting our careers and self-sustainable life. I'm so honored to have 'My Justice' used at the collegiate level for psychology classes, upcoming therapists and educators. Today my life is very blessed. I'm finally safe, finally truly loved, finally feeling the magic of what life is supposed to be like. My greatest power only began to show when I first made the choice to end the violent relationships and behaviors around my children; to give them something better, something SAFE!! In choosing to share my own story, I've also gone that serious extra step to educate myself through years of research, attending training opportunity, and collaborating with other advocate resources, abuse, sexual harm, and the experts digging deep to recreate help and healing. I've chosen to use my past as a way to inspire a greater good; hopefully somehow change the cycle of tragedy in our homes so that we empower our kids to live a more positive path. The best education we can give, is a survivor of traumatic experiences who can use what they felt then and what they wish they would have had available; those who could have and should have said something. We can change things for our life today, but best of all in healing our wounds, we give communities a supportive working strategy in assisting the people in our lives. One step at a time, one caring soul at a time, we can give them a path to changing our human society as a whole. This is a tell all, which was written in the midst of my third nervous breakdown as I struggled to put all my distorted pieces back together, help my children understand how the violence I tolerated against me invaded their emotional well-being. My children have always been my world, but my behaviors, lack of healthy parenting and life skills, and an inability to remain stable has caused another generation of suffering for my grandchildren. This is a very difficult thing to watch and the continued tragedies that seem to keep affecting the choices in my family. Writing this book was only the beginning of trying to release all that has haunted me for so many years. I have finally removed his thick, cruel, coal stained hand which trapped me in fear for decades. Those hands and his evil, her housemaid and caregiver; they created a slave and that slave submitted to horrific and brutal attacks but always felt it was her burden to bare. I lived with that hand holding me down to terrorize and steal away my voice, holding me captive in the dysfunction of the aftermath and casting a shadow of darkness on everything good in my life. Living in the true spirit of freedom, I have now become a strong advocate against the life cycle of human destruction. We cannot live stuck in the tragedy of hardships and pain. Life is meant to be lived, to be enjoyed, to see what you can do and what you can achieve, to find out what is important to you. We all become adults. We all have a burden to bare. Stand up and keep moving, keep living, keep dreaming. You have two choices in recreating and rebuilding yourself. Do you stay stuck in the dark shadows of your past? Do you dig deep and find that spirit that kept you alive so that you could become the proud, strong, capable, resilient, kind human being ? Which do you choose and how will that choice affect your children and theirs? We can be supportive, provide resources and suggestions for help so that families suffering with addiction or past trauma themselves can find a recovery balance to rebuild their family in a more positive life pattern. We will recover, we will rebuild, we will conquer the pains of yesterday to live in the true sense of life, freedom and safety today. Patricia 'Trish' McKnight Author: 'My Justice' Fndr/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Alliance, NFP Mentor/Advocate/Speaker/Survivor

5 thoughts on “Neighbors helping Neighbors in 2014 Resolution for Change

  1. Well said Tricia! 2014 is the year for our WW community to break the silence on CSA and DV and consciously educate children in sexual abuse prevention education.

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