Living in the laws of the church……

 

Hi Friends,

First off let me explain this piece of writing. So very often a survivor or victim of an abusive or harmful life comes to me and shares how they are plagued between the laws of the church they’ve been taught to believe all their lives and the many dangerous actions they’ve endured; shaming themselves simply because the church has always been the written laws of our society’s morality.

Now before anyone gets upset, let me clarify; I do not condemn the church itself and all the good it is meant to represent for our society, but rather the old fashioned laws and beliefs actually created by mankind in a century when beliefs were so strongly different in what our evolving society is accepting today.

For example;

Mankind once had written laws created by the leaders of centuries past which stated a woman was property. It was permitted for their owners, their husbands, to beat and degrade them publicly. Women and children had no voice and no opinion that any person who stood strong in the church and the laws would ever respect or consider. A marriage license gave that particular male the right to view his family as his and only his. No other person was permitted to even touch them and could be condemned in prison if in fact they did. This was the beginning of our human justice system. If the male figure, the owner, complained about an act against one of his property, his family members, then that person could certainly be sent into prison or put to death. However, if the owner, the husband, made an act of harm against one of his property, his family, then so what; the members he created in life (children) were his to do with as he saw fit. He could hand out his young children or use them to make money in hard labor or in sexual depravity; they had no right to complain and had to do as the leader, (their owner, their father), had ordered.

Now do you have a better idea about why I have the difficulty of these still widely believed and taught accepted ideals of our human morality? We are still (although adjusting in many ways) but are still teaching our children from a very young impressionable age, that only these are the ways in which we as a humans, a God Created Society, must live.

I don’t know about you, but I certainly do not want my son to believe that he has ownership and rule over any human being. I do not want my daughters to believe that although they may be married, they must stay with a man who beats, disrespects, degrades them simply because of the damning condemnation of the church, their family, and society as a whole.  I, as all parents, want and have taught my children to believe in the value of themselves as human beings, not an owner or ruler of their families, not a woman to be punished or humiliated because of her thoughts and actions. I would much rather they honor the sense of what love is about, and no matter what gender they may choose to have as a partner, it is much more important they find the person who shares a mutual sense of partnership & love with the. I cannot believe that God/Creator would rather have us live our life feeling stuck in a brutal controlling life because they fear the church and Creator will punish them; condemn them in Hell for eternity for wanting to feel loved, appreciated, respected in a mutual loving bond.

In many ways our church and religious beliefs are finally beginning to evolve with the belief that love is love, that mutual respect & kindness between all members of the family is much more important than the fear of rotting away in Hell for choosing to live another way. Think of just how much we can change the strength of our society and create a path of kindness to be handed down for all future generations of beings to come if we simply stopped forcing our wives & children to believe in these old man-made creations of law in our churches today?

My children are the most accepting human beings of others I have ever met. This is simply because they will give to others a non-judgmental support rather than condemning them for what laws of the church they have broken by choosing a same sex partner, or leaving an abusive controlling marriage, or by simply being an individual who doesn’t always preach and support the laws of centuries old beliefs simply because they are written in the old guides of our church laws. How would you have your child live in a relationship/marriage today? How would you have them raise their children to believe? How would you want them to see themselves; are they property to be used and controlled, condemned by society and terrorized with beatings or sexual contact before they are even old enough to understand that form of contact and give their consent to act mutually with the person of their choice?

Maybe its because my viciously abusive past was the most altered and impacted by a man who told me many times he was an under-study Baptist Minister in the same church I attended as a child when he first started dating my mother? He was studying to be a Baptist Minister when he had already committed depraved cruelty and harm against children of his first marriage. As I grew and his use of me began to include handing me out to others and doing whatever he instructed or face his violent attacks, this is when he began telling me how God would never forgive me for the acts I was forced to accept against me. God no longer saw me as an innocent child and would hold me accountable for all that I did and all that he was forcing me to take part in. In their long life marriage it was simply agreed I was his property and in order for my mother to avoid his depraved acts against her, she made the conscious decision to instead allow him ownership of her middle child; that I would be seen not as human, but as his. She as my mother would deny me any sense of human kindness or care, no hugs, no tenderness, just simply his evil and the housekeeper, cook and caregiver who was ordered to answer the ring of his own private little brass bell.

Don’t get my wrong, I’ve had a deep spiritual connection and respect for the intended guidance of the church since I was that little girl. This same sense of kindness and respect, without judgment towards others, has been with me all my life. It is a part of my DNA and will never be altered, not by his actions against me then, not by my mother’s decision and permissions of what happened inside our dark family secrets, and most definitely not by the cruel abusive controllers who would lure me in under the guise of love, but try to beat out of me and control me, to own me as he once did and do with as they saw fit. No human being will ever destroy the good in me which God alone instilled within my spirit the day He chose to create the human being I am today.

Our laws today are continuously changing because of new minds and voices that are being heard. These strong beings are testifying to the need of these changes in our society because of all the harm we continue to act out against those who we consider less powerful, less valuable, less deserving. These amazing persons, men & women alike, are changing our society’s belief of the roles set forth in our laws and in our most powerful source of human morality; beginning the ways we teach others inside our churches. No longer should any person’s life be set in stone by marriage or other forms which support the strong dominating male of a household who feeds their power with terrorizing acts against their spouse and their children. Why are we still teaching these centuries old beliefs of dominance and control all under the acceptance and fear of what our after life will be if we do not abide by what is written?

Let’s think about the monsters who have raped, beaten, molested and instilled deep rooted fear into their victims, all under the roof of the church or as appreciated, respected members of the church and all of its centuries old beliefs. The examples of this are endless; the priests protected from punishment and shipped around the world to give guidance and instill strong church laws into those who give their last penny to be accepted into the Heaven’s above. These predators have numerous victims whom they’ve acted out their own depraved behaviors against boys & girls alike; the victims they view as property to be used and abused without a voice whom any of their parents or society would ever believe if they spoke out against these wolves in sheep’s clothing. Look at praised and respected members of the church and communities like Sandusky who have countless times overpowered young boys to believe if they say anything about the acts, their reputation and those of their church members will never believe they could do such things, or that such acts as sexual interactions these young victims are to be taken for what they truly are, manipulations by the predators whose developed overpowering skills could ever possibly be seen as wrong.

‘So what’, society states, ‘So they had sexual actions with a child. It was only sex. It will not harm them. It will not alter who they are inside and it certainly will not impact their lives because we have been doing throughout our human existence’. Well today we have 1 in 5 Americans who are battling through some form of mental illness, be it depression, bipolar disorders, and other such illnesses. We have young children and teens who believe they must DIE because they PERMITTED these depraved acts against them. ‘Why didn’t they just tell someone or why did they lead the person on that way?’ It is a skill in which most predators are very well acquainted with in overpowering a child or younger victim. They instill doubt, fear, shame and even blame on that younger person, and we in society drive it deeper by telling them it was nothing, or that it is not the root of their problems or even worse we blame them because again, THEY ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN.

It is time that our churches start sharing the true meaning of church, not what man created with their old laws. It is time we start teaching that all beings have rights to protect them and that all persons who act against them in these depraved or violent acts be held accountable for their CHOICE to offend that child, that woman, that living creature; the living creature God has brought into this world for a purpose and a greater good. These victims are not here to be property, to be beaten, raped, and then condemned and blamed all because the old laws say it is so.

We are a new generation, we know the dark family secrets and actions that have been acted out against those seen as property, those whom mankind may have brought into this world. These young lives are not to be ruled over with fear & dominance, but to be nurtured into life under the guidance of love, respect and most definitely kindness.

All I can say as I close this out, thank Heaven above for those persons strong enough to read through the true laws and intended purpose of the church. Thank Heaven, they are strong enough to encourage change in our society under the belief that human beings will NEVER be another’s property.  Thank Heaven for the ways of our newer generations and those parents who have raised their children with value in all beings and the rights to be protected under our man made laws. Thank Heaven for the voices of strength who live with a sense that we are all deserving of peace in life; we are all deserving of an opportunity to grow without harm or shame, that all should know the glory of creating the roses that will bloom in their garden and a love to be passed onto another being without the attachment of do as I have instructed or you will be forever condemned in an eternity of Hell.

We today, are a knowledgeable society and we have the studies to prove the lasting impact of these vicious acts against another being. We are the first generation to speak publicly against these beliefs taught by the centuries old laws created by man, not God. We can most definitely give our partners, husbands & wives, our children and or neighbors the sense of their value and the truth that they matter. We can be the change that will guide a path of life for centuries to come and what I believe is the true sense of church, religion, spirituality as it was originally intended to be.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I do hope it has opened at least a few eyes in what is the true purpose of our church and not the centuries old laws handed down throughout generations. Pass it on to your friends, and if you’d like to publish this article please get in touch. You can email me direct at trish.mcknight@live.com or follow me on one of the many social & professional sites across the net. Below you will find the links to my published story, as written with my truth and finally the voice of the victim I used to be; the child property who has ripped away the coal stained hand that took from me the greatest tool of protection I was given by God above, he once took away my voice but I have finally found my own sense of freedom as I share it all in the publication of My Justice’.

 Follow all the links to gain a better understanding of what I’ve been doing in the support of victims/survivors like myself and even the family members who are battling through the struggles of healing and growth together. This passion of helping to educate about the impacts, teach prevention within our schools and our families, all while trying to encourage a prevention strategy within every small community; this is my heart’s passion and the drive that continues to guide me forward, the work I have been committed in doing since November 2010. I have studied the research of our mental health, the stats and views of publications in the Center for Disease & Control. I have also completed my 40 hour required introduction for Domestic Violence Advocacy and have become a Certified Trainer in Human Trafficking 101. I’ve done speaking engagements for many types of audiences and I would love to speak at your next function or gathering for change.

If you or someone you know is struggling through the aftermath of these harmful acts, there is the ‘Steps to Recovery’ tools which any person can use FREE OF CHARGE and on the front page of my website to help guide through rebuilding your inner sense of self after having endured any form of personally violating sense of trauma. You can and will recover from these actions against you. You can get safe and find your center and begin to live the life you were certainly created to enjoy.

Visit http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com to read through the tools and a site filled with information unlike those of other sites; not better, just filled with some guidance from someone who has endured some of evil’s worst, but finally I feel what it’s like to be loved, appreciated, and respected. You too will and do deserve to have a true chance at living your life in your own true freedom.

May peace & angels surround you, may you feel the true joys of life, and most importantly; may you know what it’s like to

Live Strong & Always Fly Free!!

Sincerely,

Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight

Author: ‘My Justice’

Paperback, Ebook, Kindle & Nook versions available

Advocate for all Victim’s Rights/Speaker/Mentor

Researcher/Presenter/Writer

Officially copyrighted and protected under federal licensing as Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Nov 2012

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio

Artwork on this website is the sole property of Michal Madison Art

More artwork can be found by visiting www.michalmadisonart.com

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Although it is written as a novel…..My Justice

biopic3    MyJustice   reflection

  Although it is written as a novel, the accounts written here are true as they happened then. The impact and thoughts of the child, woman, mother, who endured it all are true. The names of the characters have been changed to protect innocent siblings & children, but this is the most powerful story of redemption & survival that you will ever read. Thanks so much to all who have given this a 5 Star Review on Authorhouse.com Amazon.com &  BN.com – Very Exciting

When I published this story I didn’t know anything about writing, publishing, marketing; I just simply needed to write through my third nervous breakdown and explain to my children about how the horrifying attacks endured in my young life created an ongoing opinion of myself and what I tolerated in my adult life. Sadly, it was a life of more than 30 years in one repeated beating after another. It was a life filled with heartbreak, terror, depression, but it was not a life I wanted my children to continue living.

Admitting to myself just how dysfunctional I was, was one of the most difficult challenges I’ve ever faced. When I had to get away from my 2nd husband, after a near death beating at 4:00 am, completely nude being strangled, beaten with a chair and spit on as he walked away; it was as I crawled to the phone to call 911 for the first time in my life that I realized only I could change the pattern of life I was in. Only I could give my children the safe, loving, supportive home they deserved to know. Sure I did my best to always give my children those things, but sadly even when they are not the ones being directly harmed, they still feel every punch against their mom as if they were going through it themselves, especially when they are young.

No, the police didn’t help me. It was the very first time I had ever reached out for someone to realize how badly I was being beaten. His mom knew it, she would come sleep on the couch to keep him from killing me. She did this at least three times in a 9 year relationship. All my life people had constantly dismissed my pain as if it were nothing to be raped with a shotgun barrel at just 12 years old, be traded out to my stepfather’s friends as my mother lay in her bedroom watching television, or to be left to have your skin rot away in her neglect of medical care when our health insurance would have covered any treatment I needed. Schoolmates attended weekend parties with me as the ‘whore child’ who would serve them. They saw the constant bruises and welt marks from beatings. They saw the filth which covered a young girl’s body from FIVE YEARS of not bathing because it was his favorite room of torture. The teacher’s, law enforcement, family friends and many others all knew, witnessed, or attended the many horrific acts I was forced to accept within my childhood home for twelve long years, but not one single person in our small community ever spoke up to help save me or rescue me from the man they all feared.

No my mother did not ever try to stop him, not even when she walked in and saw him in bed with her naked 9 year old daughter. She didn’t leave, she didn’t yell at him, but she did send me to my room. She was not afraid of him, in fact he was a complete pussy cat with her. She controlled their relationship and how their marriage went, because he just did not want to lose her. So why did she sacrifice her one child to this man? Why did she do nothing all those times he hurt me or handed me out to others? No one will ever know, because she still thinks in her mind, she did nothing wrong!!!

This is an amazing read about a child who wasn’t just abused, but was terrorized, used, traded out, and left to rot in hell by absolutely everyone who had the power to do something!!! It is about how all of those years in evil influenced what I tolerated as I got older. The many relationships in dysfunction, the dangerous and almost deadly beatings that were all I ever knew. Then as I was refused help by the police after the last brutal beating and knew one of us would die if I stayed; I fought through it all to break the cycle, give my children a home where they could sleep in peace, they could be happy, run, play and invite their friends for sleepovers. Yes, you can climb out of hell and still be happy in life, but only you can make that a reality. Only you can make the choice of what type of life you wish to give your children and then make that life happen.

Today I am safe, today I am truly loved and respected. Today I give everything I can to help others like myself. I have studied through Mental Health, took my 40 hour Illinois DV Advocate Classes, am a Certified Trainer in Human Trafficking Prevention & Awareness, and have been working with victims/survivors since Nov. 2010 when I started my first women’s support group, Survivors World on Facebook. I’ve since built a website filled with information to help others recover & rebuild after abuse. It is complete with Child Abuse Prevention, Relationship Violence Awareness, & resources of other survivors and orgs who are on the net to help your recovery. There is also two years spent as a talk radio host and the many hundreds of interviews with org leaders, mental health professionals, survivors, authors, and our Survivors World online radio. You can find out all you wish from this site by visiting

www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com
In a world that can be filled with so much pain~~
‘Always believe anything is possible with you in the active equation’~~

trish mcknight

Francine’s review of My Justice:

My Justice by Patricia McKnight

” Awesome book by a tremendously STRONG woman! ”

Delete

Mar 05, 2014 04:17AM · see review

Butterfly Dreams Presents: Meet Your Resources

https://www.facebook.com/events/1464179837193901/?ref_dashboard_filter=calendar

 Butterfly Dreams is featuring a very special event in Breese, IL at Northside Park, Sept. 27th from Noon to 4pm – Be sure to join with us as our local area providers for #ClintonCounty  gather to share their special work in assisting our families. Help share this event and encourage your neighbors to come listen in. We will also have a very special presentation from Jennifer Bishop Jenkins, Director of Marsy’s Law for Illinois, Protecting All Crime Victims Rights!!! If you live in #Breese   #Carlyle   #Aviston   #Albers   in or around the surrounding areas, please mark your calendars and bring your family!! Speakers will include #ClintonCountySheriff  Mike Kreke, Chief of Police Robert Fix, DARE Program w/ Officer Kurt Weh, Hoyleton Ministries, Children’s Home + Aid and more to join in!!
We all may know a family in need or a person who needs some extra support. We hope to introduce you to the resources here on a NOT FOR PROFIT SERVICE to help you and your neighbors at any time!!
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