Steps to Recovery by a survivor for survivors

rainbow-butterfly-dreams.jpg               mj-2_thumb.jpg     headshot.jpg

Six Daily Recovery & Rebuilding Tools; created by a survivor & geared to help survivors reclaim their incredible self!!

​​​Take a breath and a moment of quiet in a safe place. Your panic response has developed through different traumas. This influence was probably a repeated dominance and harm over a period of time. It will take time to develop the ability to feel safe; to actually live life in a true sense of freedom. Do not feel guilty about your pain. This is something another person CHOSE to inflict against you. All the fear you carry, the panic, the distorted behaviors and reactions, these are an injury caused by personally harming actions against you.

​​Build your SAFE CIRCLE, try the daily behavioral skills, and see just how strong, intelligent, capable, and wonderful you really are.

​One breath at a time, one baby step at a time – you are in control and you will create your own dreams.

The one priority needed to begin any healing journey; FEELING SAFE.

1>>List the persons in your SAFE SUPPORT CIRCLE– family, friends, therapist, neighbors –             list should include emergency phone contact

2>>List contacts of help for your immediate daily survival needs
(Shelter, Food, Job Skills, Education Assistance, Counseling, Transportation)​

3>>Create Daily To-Do List– Making phone calls to get help, cleaning house, grocery shopping, laundry – completing small simple tasks helps to rebuild self esteem, sense of accomplishment – learning responsible behavior skills provides self sustaining survival which can help prevent being dependent on another person for life necessities.

4>>Create Positivity List– ‘I CAN DO THIS’, ‘I AM SAFE’, ‘THE DANGER IS GONE NOW’, ‘I AM IN CHARGE’;  ALWAYS CARRY IT WITH YOU, if panicked find privacy, read out loud, concentrate on breathing, slow pace- change negative reaction into positive thoughts ​

5>>Learn Emotional Wounds– understand you have anxiety, depression, perhaps Complex PTSD; research how these wounds will cause challenges in your activities today; going shopping, having lunch, being alone. Practice coping skills, monitor your actions/reactions changing behavioral responses & actions will prevent further victimization.

6>>Get Healthcare– A healthy body is a pathway to your recovery. It’s important to take care of any injuries or chronic health problems to allow the rest of your healing, and prevent any further victimization from another dominant person.

‘Always believe anything is possible with you in the active equation’~~
trish mcknight​​​​

livestrong_thumb.jpg  created by Michal Madison Art
​Developed by: Patricia A McKnight – Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery
copyright 2012-2016​

Published by @ButterflyTrish

I am a survivor of over thirty years trapped inside the silence and brutality of Family Crimes, Child Sex Trafficking, and a life lived pattern of tolerance for over 30 years in almost murderous relationships. In Feb. 2011 I chose to publish the truth about what happened in our home, the community around me, and the learned patterns of self-hatred and tolerance which became such a huge factor in my life. My life today was built through publishing 'My Justice'. I never felt worthy of life, breathing, love & respect; not until I honestly began a strong focus in healing myself. There were many traits and tragedies that influenced my life seemed to control everything inside me and it was nothing but sadness and fake emotions. Only by facing the horrors I went through, the choices I made as a woman & mother, then relating to the greatest guilt I have; how the trauma behavior has affected my children's lives. It's my hope to help others get through their battles, regardless of the type of trauma because when we hurt our lives are forever changed. This graphic, violent memoir is NOT SUGGESTED FOR ANYONE UNDER 14 years of age. It discusses the permanently wounding life and the cycle of destruction that held me in expecting/tolerating ridicule and violence in my adult relationships. This truth was published to inspire others to take an in-depth look at their life and behaviors as a result of their past. Connect the dots of your rebuilding in understanding the pattern of adult choices in coping addictions, parenting, and partners; even affecting our careers and self-sustainable life. I'm so honored to have 'My Justice' used at the collegiate level for psychology classes, upcoming therapists and educators. Today my life is very blessed. I'm finally safe, finally truly loved, finally feeling the magic of what life is supposed to be like. My greatest power only began to show when I first made the choice to end the violent relationships and behaviors around my children; to give them something better, something SAFE!! In choosing to share my own story, I've also gone that serious extra step to educate myself through years of research, attending training opportunities, and collaborating with other advocate resources, abuse, sexual harm, and the experts digging deep to recreate help and healing. I've chosen to use my past as a way to inspire a greater good; hopefully somehow change the cycle of tragedy in our homes so that we empower our kids to live a more positive path. The best education we can give, is a survivor of traumatic experiences who can use what they felt then and what they wish they would have had available; those who could have and should have said something. We can change things for our life today, but best of all in healing our wounds, we give communities a supportive working strategy in assisting the people in our lives. One step at a time, one caring soul at a time, we can give them a path to changing our human society as a whole. This is a tell all, which was written in the midst of my third nervous breakdown as I struggled to put all my distorted pieces back together, help my children understand how the violence I tolerated against me invaded their emotional well-being. My children have always been my world, but my behaviors, lack of healthy parenting and life skills, and an inability to remain stable has caused another generation of suffering for my grandchildren. This is a very difficult thing to watch and the continued tragedies that seem to keep affecting the choices in my family. Writing this book was only the beginning of trying to release all that has haunted me for so many years. I have finally removed his thick, cruel, coal stained hand which trapped me in fear for decades. Those hands and his evil, her housemaid and caregiver; they created a slave and that slave submitted to horrific and brutal attacks but always felt it was her burden to bare. I lived with that hand holding me down to terrorize and steal away my voice, holding me captive in the dysfunction of the aftermath and casting a shadow of darkness on everything good in my life. Living in the true spirit of freedom, I have now become a strong advocate against the life cycle of human destruction. We cannot live stuck in the tragedy of hardships and pain. Life is meant to be lived, to be enjoyed, to see what you can do and what you can achieve, to find out what is important to you. We all become adults. We all have a burden to bare. Stand up and keep moving, keep living, keep dreaming. You have two choices in recreating and rebuilding yourself. Do you stay stuck in the dark shadows of your past? Do you dig deep and find that spirit that kept you alive so that you could become the proud, strong, capable, resilient, kind human being ? Which do you choose and how will that choice affect your children and theirs? We can be supportive, provide resources and suggestions for help so that families suffering with addiction or past trauma themselves can find a recovery balance to rebuild their family in a more positive life pattern. We will recover, we will rebuild, we will conquer the pains of yesterday to live in the true sense of life, freedom and safety today. Patricia 'Trish' McKnight Author: 'My Justice' Fndr/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Alliance, NFP Mentor/Advocate/Speaker/Survivor

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