Voices InJustice – Teen Pregnancy, becoming young parents or playing house 09/13 by Voices InJustice Radio | Current Events Podcasts

-Voices InJustice with host Trish McKnight; Sept 13th @ 6pm eastern/5pm central/3pm pacific time. Join me for another great broadcast discussion brought to you by, Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery community outr

Source: Voices InJustice – Teen Pregnancy, becoming young parents or playing house 09/13 by Voices InJustice Radio | Current Events Podcasts

Is there a connection to the harm of Family Crimes and early teen pregnancy? Are there racial difference is the rates of teen pregnancy? This and more today on our Voices InJustice Radio

How is one trained to become the perfect lifetime victim of abuse

butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com/patriciamcknightsmyjustice.

Welcome to the introduction of Patricia A. McKnight. Today a powerful speaker & strong advocate, but once a victim for more than 30 years of her life. Incredible right, why would anyone remain a victim of this violence and disgusting degradation for so long? It all started at five, I was trained to become the perfect victim, the perfect long lasting accepting and tolerating of these vicious and vile attacks. You may know a child whose life is so horrifying on the inside they are becoming the next perfectly trained victim. Help is just a phone call away, change your views about what our society has been teaching in the control of silence & secrets these past centuries. Connect with ‘Trish’ and arrange speaking for your next event. facebook.com/triciagirl62

EMAIL – trish.mcknight@live.com

 

Announcement Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio

 

bdarbanner

 

We have shared many broadcasted programs during these past 18 months and I am so grateful to the many guests, chatters, supporters who have joined us or have shared our shows. In truth, I absolutely love doing radio. It’s an exciting way to continue passing the crucial need for grassroots community resources to provide assistance for victims, survivors & families who have been touched by some form of abuse, violence, trafficking, bullying and the many other types of personally violating crimes.

It saddens me to announce we are no longer going to be broadcasting, but I feel it is the best decision at this time. One, is the need for me to focus on my writing. Two is the need for funding to continue the premium broadcasting programs which have been enjoyed by listeners around the world, especially Wednesday’s Survivors World. It has been such a connecting and healing opportunity for each of us and I am grateful to have had this opportunity.

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery will be here to help anyone in need, no matter if we are on radio or not. Our organization is about supporting those in need and helping to educate about the true impact from these types of traumas. We will continue our training, our support, our awareness mission and the connections that have been made through our work.

Continuously I share my own journey as well as the information I learn in other specific trainings, which have focused on Sexual Assault, Mandatory Reporting, Human Trafficking, Elder Abuse, Domestic Violence & Child Abuse. I wanted to be sure to provide the very best assistance for the many hundreds of families, victims & even more survivors who have contacted me  over these past 4 years. The educational trainings I’ve taken have given me the ability to disconnect from my own personal trauma when assisting those in need. It is difficult at times to assist with the many levels of trauma and the personally emotional wounding left in its aftermath, so the trainings give the expert knowledge shared by states across the country.

Our radio programs have given us the opportunity to reach around the world, empower many to find the courage to break their silence about the ugly family secrets which have haunted their lives and even made parenting their own children difficult at best. It is my personal hope that as a human society we will begin to see just how valuable our children really are. They are precious souls who depend on the adults around them to protect them and guide them through to adulthood. Sometimes, as wounded parents, we are triggered throughout different levels of our children’s lives, which then impacts the way we connect with them and see their developing ways. In finding the courage to begin our own healing we  find the ability to positively influence their lives in the manner we wish in our hearts.

Please readers, I do hope that if nothing else touches your heart in all the work we do as an organization; you will empower the many wounded souls you come in contact with to believe they deserve true happiness. However, to achieve that happiness we must first learn that at no time should anyone ever have the power to harm you, condemn you, or trap you in their inflicted pain. Every human being is created for a purpose, but that purpose is NEVER to be the victim of this type of cruelty. You can and will achieve your own healing, your own dreams, your own freedom when you make the decision to end the abuses and harm against you. Make the call to report the offender. Make the call to a resource of support to help you through. You do not have to go through professional counseling to heal the wounds of your trauma. You simply need a friend who will support you in your journey, believe the trauma you’ve endured and the many impacts it has left on your perceptions, lack of boundaries, and the decisions you make.

You can and will achieve your freedom, positively influence and guide your children, become the strong spirit you were intended to be, and most of all find your own path to happiness, but first you must be willing to face the trauma and learn to understand how these types of harm actually leave their own mark on the young developing minds and souls of the child you once were. Grab hold of a hand, take a deep breath, get ready to face the darkest of days; walk the path into your own true light. It may not be perfect, but there is certainly a light on the other side of this harm and you deserve to follow the rainbow of life and love waiting there in your healing journey.

Life is a miracle not to be wasted, you deserve roses in your magical garden!!

Call a resource of help, hope, and healing today!!! You could save your life or the life of someone you know and love. Let no person be trapped in the cruelty and condemnation of abuse, violence, human trafficking or bullying. There is help on the other end of these listed, trusted, and nationally recognized resources. Be your own hero today!!hotlines (2)

You are strong – You are courageous – You are worthy – You are magical

Be safe, live strong, always fly free!!!

youarenotalone

All information published in connection with Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio is protected under the development of our organization and copyright founded Sept. 2012

Patricia A. McKnight

Owner/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Programming

Founder Survivors World Support Group Nov. 2010

Speaker/Trainer/Writer/Radio Host & Producer

Mentor/Peer Counseling/Advocate

Author: ‘My Justice’ – Finally removing the thick coal stained hand that crept in an stole the most powerful weapon of my safety; taking back my power and finally speaking my own truth.

 

 

Survivors World w/ Tremayne Moore, ‘Deaf, Dumb, Blind & Stupid’ 04/23 by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery | Self Help Podcasts

Survivors World w/ Tremayne Moore, ‘Deaf, Dumb, Blind & Stupid’ 04/23 by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery | Self Help Podcasts.

Back on the air tonight, we are chatting with Author & Inspirational Speaker, Tremayne Moore, his book ‘Deaf, Dumb, Blind & Stupid’ a book about a young boy sharing with a Pastor about how society, family, and friends ignore the years of ongoing abuse and the aftermath of his self destruction. Join in live at 9pm eastern!!

Survivors World w/ Tremayne Moore, 'Deaf, Dumb, Blind & Stupid' 04/23 by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery | Self Help Podcasts

Survivors World – Understanding YOUR Trauma 02/19 by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery | Self Help Podcasts

Survivors World – Understanding YOUR Trauma 02/19 by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery | Self Help Podcasts.

Hi ya Bookie Darlins 🙂 Are you ready for Survivors World tonight on Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio. Join in w/ Trish & special co-host tonight, returning for a continuing chat from Monday’s discussion concerning the heavy prescription dosage of #Psychotropic #Medications. Tonight we are discussing the functions of your wounding from trauma. There is a Five Step suggested process on our homepage, please learn to understand the impact of your wounding. How is your emotional and responsive wiring been jolted and sometimes impossible to manage. If you’d like to join in we are broadcasting live at 9pm eastern tonight. You’re invited to call us at 347-215-7754 or connect with Support Butterflies in our chatroom. Breathe and know it will be alright ❤

Its a family affair, Resolution4Change2014 12/30 by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery | Current Events Podcasts

Its a family affair, Resolution4Change2014 12/30 by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery | Current Events Podcasts.

Friends check it out, this is our broadcast for beginning #Resolution4Change2014!! This is an overview of what we hope to inspire throughout this New Year. I am praying we all continue speaking out strongly, educating and empowering our teens to actively take part in ending the cycle of tolerance and silence about the acts of violence or abuse within our family unit or within their community or school system. Give them the age appropriate honest discussions about these types of acts, so they are able to help someone in need even if it may be themselves they are saving. We absolutely have the ability to change what we have been taught for centuries which is of course to stay silent and continue accepting these acts, protecting our family predators. Let’s do this and give them the power to create change in their generation. They will be the next generation in our lawmaking system. They will be the next generation to continue this mission of ending what generations have taught us about what is acceptable within our own family. This show has reached over 300 listens, keep it up friends. You are amazing & you most certainly are the end of the cycle in your family!!!

 

Its a Family Affair discusses Pet Cruelty w/ Lynn Tolson 01/20 by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery | Self Help Podcasts

Its a Family Affair discusses Pet Cruelty w/ Lynn Tolson 01/20 by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery | Self Help Podcasts.

Here it is bookie friends, tonight on Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio!!

Set your reminder for this one friends, talking about #AnimalCruelty in a violent home. Special co-host Lynn C. Tolson will be joining me as we talk about how important our pets are to us and the direct link between #animalcruelty & #familyviolence. Join in live at 9pm eastern, call us at 347-215-7754 or share commentary in our chatroom. This is learning about the connection to our generational impact of abuse & violence in our society today!! Thank you.

When parental alienation becomes grandparent alienation

 

If you know me at all, then you know I am quite open and honest about the aftermath of life as a result of all the brutal acts. Yes, I know that we have all come through some pretty horrific histories. However as I have looked into the lives of so many others like myself, seriously trying to find someone whose life has been ripped apart as deeply as mine; I still have not found anyone impacted by these issues of violence and rape in the same ongoing tragic way.

Perhaps I am just feeling sorry for myself right now because of the holidays, but seriously those who know me know exactly what I’m talking about.

There has been huge amounts of joy in my life, even with all the horror. My children of course are the ones who have provided the greatest of those joys. However, these days there is always at least one of my children, at all times, who feels in some way that the ugly lies their father and other paternal relatives filled their heads with during their younger years is true.

There are many times in the present when I wonder if their father thinks at all about what happened during those four years when he had them and the ongoing years when I raised them? Does he think about how he was able to completely destroy this incredible magic bond I felt with my children when they came into this world? They were my babies dammit, and he and his family who stood by him and allowed this all to happen had no f’n right. I was a great mother and my children knew that I loved them.

Do you think the family realized the damage it would do to the positive Mother/Child bond my children and I shared?

No, I was not perfect at any time, but they all knew I loved them and I would never have done anything to harm them in any way. He also knew taking my children and destroying the bond we had was the only way he could do anything to hurt me at all, it just didn’t matter what he did anymore. I was done with all of it. Still today my family, my children and grandchildren, are so far away I’m not sure if we will ever be able to truly connect.

‘D’; you got what you wanted, you destroyed it all!!! You infected their lives with your dysfunctional thinking. How dare you put my children in that home or in that woman’s care. How dare you steal them away from me and take away the one true love I always thought I would be able to call mine; those whom I had nurtured and loved would at least care enough to show some form of love for the mother who fought each day simply because they needed me to be there. 

It is because of his lies about my abandoning them; permitting him to steal them away; to keep them away from me and to run with them again after I had relocated for the specific reason of maintaining some form of contact with my babies. It is all of his vicious lies because he couldn’t handle that I didn’t want him any longer, so he used his rage and his need for control as a weapon to destroy the incredible loving bond I had with my children.

My kids do not see the real me as their mother; they see a woman with that name tag. I am not worthy of that connection, that special bond, that respect.

There are times when I feel like I am no different than the stranger down the street with them. If anything goes wrong in their life I am, and have been for years, the first one they call; especially for one child specifically. However, the holidays, birthdays, any day at all; this is when I often hear F**k you  or I hear nothing at all. It is another Christmas time and again, no one is around and the only contact I get is ‘What are you sending out for the kids?’

Most often they play the game of holding back contact with the grandchildren. The one grandson I was able to talk with briefly on Thanksgiving, it had been 3 or 4 months since I had talked directly with him, but his mother felt the need to call me crying through her depression every day; and I was there for her through all of it. Never did I turn her away not in these past 10 years since she became pregnant have I ever been the one to turn away from her at all. When I got the chance to finally chat with him I found out his world was in turmoil.

Again now, they have cut off all communications. They use their children against me just as their father used them. They cuss and swear at me, they condemn me in front of their children without a care for the disrespect or destruction of another generation of my own blood. I am so sick of this crap invading the lives of my blood. How dare this shit still go on.

My children are not babies any more. They have a brain and they are old enough to make their own decisions about the mother I was or wasn’t. If they would take a day to think about all we went through together and really remember the bond we had as a family, not too long ago. Where in the fuck did it go? What the hell have I done to deserve another generation turned against me as a person. My grandson and I had an incredible relationship together until about two years ago. This is when I was told not to tell him ‘I love you more than the whole wide universe’. That was something I’ve always said to all of my children when they were little. We sang when we went shopping together. We played with toys in the store together. We laughed together and yes we cried together, but it was a family love. Now my son rarelyif all even talks to me. My daughters, well we won’t even go there because of all I’ve said already, I’m sure you get the picture.

When does this insanity end? What is it going to take for me to mend this broken bond?

Parents your children are not pawns in a chess game of power and territory. They are human beings who should be loved and empowered to become the very best people they can by as many around them as possible. What in the hell is the problem if no one is being abused or harmed in some way?

Courts when a child is in the middle of this type of revengeful battle, you are supposed to maintain the child’s best interest, not condemn based on the amount of money or the attorney standing in front of you.

Do you know that I took pictures of my son’s little 7 yr old ass to a judge because in 2nd grade he had his ass beaten with a leather strap called ‘The Dancer’, the same strap their father had been beaten with. Let alone the times I was allowed to pick them up for visitation and one would have a bloody nose the other a handprint across the face, or some kind of smacking around because they were arguing. He told my children; ‘I beat you because you are bad and you deserve it’, this is what they still believe today. A punch in the face to my 14yr old for touching a weight set in the garage. 

Kids, when will you stop believing in all his lies and see what your life was really like?

Do you remember the Santa Claus who made sure to bring ‘The Dancer’ with him on Christmas Eve and if my children were biting their nails, or misbehaving in class, then they received a couple of mild swats with that same strap. What in the hell type of crazy ass impression of Santa does this leave on young children who have been stolen away from their mother? What in the hell kind of people make this impression of Santa on a child?

YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE NO LOGICAL REASON TO HOLD MY GRANDCHILDREN HOSTAGE FROM ME AND USE THEM AS A PAWN IN YOUR SICK GAME OF POWER!! I am so tired of having to play this game. Be careful what you say and do because the kids will keep the kids away from you. NO not any more. Those babies may never know what kind of Nana they have. I know at least one will have good loving memories and I hope they help him through. I pray all of you children see your mother for who she is and who she has been to you throughout your entire lives before the chance to heal is gone forever.

The more I try to do to help my children through all of our past issues, I am simply ‘the crazy lady’, the emotionally disturbed woman who is always over reacting. I’m sure if they read this they will also think that I am again just ‘over reacting’. It is a knife wound they have made deep in my heart and today they just keep twisting it to make sure they know I hurt in some way. It really is as if they are not happy when connected with me, nor have any clue as to how to maintain a regular Mother & Child relationship.

I am so desperate for any recognition from them at all that I would appreciate even a simple text or any form of menial connection from them.

How is it that the one who put them in harm’s way, the one who has hurt them physically & emotionally, the one who never once supported their dreams or told them how well they are doing, how proud he is of them; yet this person who literally STOLE THEM AWAY all those years ago has left this deep of a wound in our relationship. I do not know if there is a way to repair all the damage that’s been done. It is the deepest abandonment I can feel.

Maybe because of my not being there to rescue them when they were being harmed the worst, they want to be sure I feel what they must have felt.

I tried to have that witch arrested for what harm I heard she had done to my children, as soon as I found out!! Funny it was their father whom she called and it was a meeting with him when he told me about helping her put her family back together, but he had left her not because of what was happening but because she also cheated on him; that’s what caused him to finally get pissed enough to leave. 

Dearest Creator Above, you know how hard I’ve tried to mend all of the pain in their lives, but today I am still the one they choose to shut out.

My oldest child remembers the day that I suddenly wasn’t there any longer. He remembers standing there in his ‘Woogie Boogie’ footed pajamas, waving to me as I waited for a cab to pick me up and take me to work that morning.

Our relationship, although I’ve tried endlessly to mend it in many ways, still not one single child cares enough about the woman who gave them life;  the one who dedicated the memoir about the impact of her childhood wounds and the grief of how it impacted their lives; she is not worthy of their respect, their love, their connection for the person I am.

How tragic things can turn out no matter how hard we try sometimes. I’ve looked at my life over and over again. I’ve dissected this over and over again. I’ve tried to see where it all broke apart and why they treat me like they do. I’ve allowed for them in some way because its how they always saw other people treat me, so maybe they feel its just a habit or they don’t see it as a problem at all which is even much worse. I just know that the only thing that ties me to them at all is the word ‘Mom’ rather than the affection you normally feel for that person. I’ve never beaten my children. I cried when I had to correct them, it broke my heart to see all the pain they had gone through.

All I can say at this point is I am so tired of this crap bleeding through my family’s veins. I must find a way to heal these wounds and give my heart some peace before my time here is done. I don’t want it to be after the fact that they realize later, how much I truly loved them and supported all their dreams, stood through all their challenges and even accepted their outrages and anger over all the pain.

I am done feeling guilty for what has happened. I can’t go back and change how things happened then. All I can do is be me in the moment today. The me who is now a devoted voice against these types of harmful actions, especially within our family unit. We always hurt those closest to us and our relationship has paid the ultimate price.

May Creator above find a way to help me bring a resolution to this heartbreak I’ve had for so long. I can’t stand one more holiday season or one more day knowing that I am being shunned away from my grandchildren now all because hey it is so damned easy to shut mom out, its what we’ve always done. She’s just a figure in our lives. Why should they feel any respect or kindness for me at all, they were not raised with those values instilled in them by anyone, except of course by all the acts of love & care I’ve given throughout all these years. I am lost. I am abandoned. I feel very alone. I pray for strength as I wait for this storm to pass.

Wondering if it ever really will?

Thanks for reading, hopefully it helps connect with another soul out there somewhere who is also dealing in this same painful reality. What happens when our children become the ones who emotionally & verbally disrespect and abuse us, shut us out and then use dangerous words to alienate the precious babies we should be cuddling and enjoying rather than begging for just a five minute phone chat so that you can say; ‘I love you and I’m still here.’

Much love, prayers and always those Butterfly Dreams

 

 

©Patricia A. McKnight

Dec 2013

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery.

 Great news to share!! Please come on over, check out our facelift and share away, Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery!! ‘You just took the very first step in changing your life or inspiring someone else to begin their own healing journey’ – Enjoy and OH YEA!! – CHECK OUT NEW & AWESOME ‘Shopping4Survivors’ – YOU CAN SHOP FOR CHRISTMAS AND HELP US CONTINUE ALL WE DO TO HELP VICTIMS, SURVIVORS, FAMILIES & EMPOWER COMMUNITY PREVENTION!!

Recovery in the aftermath of hell

 

butterfly dreams logo                MyJustice You can & will recover

You hold the tools to change your life beginning right this very moment!!

IMG_6807     Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight

Author/Advocate/Key Note Speaker/Radio Host/Survivor

Founder/CEO; Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio

Always believe anything is possible with you in the active equation~~trish mcknight

As a person rebuilding your life after someone has taken your value there are a few things I would suggest doing to help you through.

1) Make a list of long term goals; You can start by creating a list of long term goals, such as I want my education or to build may career in abuse recovery. This will give you and end goal and when you hit this mark you will see yourself as a true thriver, not just a survivor.

2)Make a list of your daily goals; This can be anything from cleaning out closets, going to the grocery store, or checking into a school to begin those classes to keep you as an employable person, which then makes it possible for you to earn a paycheck, pay for housing, food, clothing, vehicle or other transportation. If you have had to relocate to escape your abuser, moved away from your parents or your abusive partner, you may want to have your goal list include such things as; applying for work, finding an apartment, apply for assistance through the state to help with shelter and therapy services. These daily goal lists are important to keep you going. You will see yourself checking off your accomplished tasks, doing silly little things by yourself and getting them done teaches us that we CAN do and CAN succeed at taking care of ourself, supporting ourself, and you will begin your life over again.

3)Start a Positivity List; this list is important for you to realize the good in you as an individual. You want to take a good look at yourself, not necessarily physical traits, but more about your inner person; such as, I’m nice to other people, I have good manners, I have good hygiene, I can accomplish my daily goal lists. These little positives will help you when you rebuild your self esteem from that inadequate sensation your abuser drilled into your head. Many times our abusers have to strip away our value and make sure we are dependent upon them, so we tend to lose sight of what is good in us. Make your list and add one new item to it each day!!! If you are around family and friends who support your healing, it is good to ask them to write down one thing they see good in you. This helps you to see that others have value in you as a person, so you don’t feel as if you are all alone in believing your personal worth.

4) Learn About Your Wounds; It’s important to understand how the abuse has effected you in other ways and learn to recognize the wounds you carry inside. There are many levels of emotional damage that come from the abuse. Every abuser is different, while they may have many of the same traits, their abuse is carried out in their own dark ways. This means that not every survivor is effected in the same way. We are all different souls with different tolerance levels. While one survivor may be able to walk out the door of their abuser and never look back; others may hang onto the abuser because of the deep need for parental approval or because you truly loved that particular partner; when it was good it was good, but when it was bad it was evil type of thing.

Having gone through multiple abusers and relationships myself, there have been different reactions to the leaving and rebuilding, recovery aspect. Each abuser left different wounds from their emotional degradation, control, battery, rape and attempted murders. Therefore, I find it important to understand what wounds you carry from the abuse.

1)​Do you have issues with anxiety over small things that wouldn’t matter or seem important to a ‘normal’ person?
2)​Do you wake with nightmares or have flashbacks which make you feel your life is still in danger?
3)​Do you have those really down days and not sure why?

​​These are all signs that your wounds are emotional and mental health scars such as; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Generalized Anxiety because you were always living in high alert of the next action against you. It’s important to know the scars you have and understand how to live with these scars of your abuse​​​​​​​​​​​​​​.

Recovery and rebuilding from abuse is like trying to put the pieces to your personal puzzle back together again. We may have known who we were before the abuser got to us, but then we have to learn who we are now. I have had many different issues from the abusers in my life. I’ve had to study on these conditions to learn how they impact my life now. Once I began to understand the why and the how of these conditions it has made it more possible each day for me to live in my present day life, rather than thinking constantly about what happened in those thirty-two years of hell.
As you gradually begin understanding how the abuse has effected you, then you too will learn how to see the new you.

There is a lot of personal strength gained from being an abuse survivor. We have to live as ‘normal’ in society while carrying these physical and emotional wounds from the trauma. We still have to support ourselves and society expects us to act as if nothing happened. They often don’t want to hear our sad story of pain. They don’t want to understand how we have these scars that still effect us. In most cases of family abuse (child sexual abuse or incest) the family will ignore it all together. No one will acknowledge the abuse or that it has any lasting affect on you. No one will stand up to protect you, instead they protect the abuser.

Find and Treasure the piece of you that was taken so long ago; FIND YOUR VOICE!! Hold it tight, admire its power. You can use its power to heal you.

Positive Thoughts About You
You deserve a safe place to sleep 

You deserve respect 

You deserve kindness and support

  You deserve as much love as you freely give to others 

You deserve roses in your garden of life

©Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Nov 2012                                   Purple Rose_13

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio

http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

#MARSocial Author of the Year Competition – Give it a share and help get our survivor stories recognized for the numerous voices of silent children still living in this hell today!!! Thank you tons Smile 

http://marsocial.com/docs/marsocials-author-of-the-year-competition-my-justice-triciagirl62-another-excerpt-foxnews-cnn-msnbc-bbc/