In ‘the life’ – survive vs. suicide

As Human Trafficking Awareness Month comes to a close, I’d say there was a much larger presence of those focused on this issue and those others which can be the beginning steps to trafficking. I’d like to remind everyone that for those who have or are trying to survive the influence human trafficking has left on their sense of personal value and the survival behaviors learned while you are trapped.

Human beings, like other animals, adapt to their surroundings. Our inner most sense is that of survival itself. So let me ask this; ‘When you are so engulfed by constant explosive and almost deadly violence wouldn’t you become quite submissive to survive? How long do you think you could hang on? How bad would it be when you started praying for them to kill you and end your misery? You survive the best you possibly can, but if there is no sign of help or hope, you pray they kill you so you are free!!

This is the life you learn to endure and the behaviors of the human being will naturally adapt to keep you alive. Let me assure you; those who do survive rarely just walk the door of trafficking and live life like what is needed to adapt in ‘normal’ everyday neighborhoods. Without residential recovery services like those provided by Eden’s Glory & Grounds of Grace, among others; going from ‘The Life’ to a self sustaining life is usually filled with a path of addiction, mental illness, extreme emotional distress, lack on interpersonal skills, and a continued submissive behavior (despite how hard we try to cover that up). There is rarely any money available from the trafficker to pay for services needed to help their victims, so this burden lies on the shoulders of those who want to help. These are usually provided by nonprofit services who need funding from you and I; they are struggling for funding to help create more functional and self supporting individuals. The end result of their services will change the lives of these persons and the lives of their children and grandchildren.

When you are trapped in this way of life, you learn to live in a ‘Survive vs Suicide’ mode of thinking. The pain becomes so bad physically and emotionally that you pray they kill you just to put you out of your misery. You hope for a way out and if you run into the arms of another person, you are extremely lucky if that is a kind person who truly wants to keep you safe and learn how to live on your own. More common than not you end of up going straight to the arms of another abuser, usually a domestic relationship that starts off being really kind and your survival habits make you more tolerable of acts of control or degrading remarks. These are dismissed and before you know it, one day they take a swing. The first strike is always the most difficult one, so the second will be much easier and more aggressive. This will take over your relationship and become your existence at least two or three times a week. Your holidays will be taken over by the threat or possibility of violence. You will rarely defend yourself and even less likely to leave because of those few good moments you share. You tell yourself, ‘He does love me. He is good to me most of the time. He just gets angry. If I don’t do this, or I stop doing that, he will stop hitting me. Just so long as he doesn’t leave me alone, doesn’t kick me out, doesn’t cheat on me, doesn’t hurt my kids. This is the way of life for those who have been so violently and violated in the life of trafficking.

How is a person who has grown up in this type of threatening environment and distorted behaviors supposed to choose the right relationships or live a stable everyday life? How are they supposed to learn to associate in common social and professional environments? If we do not ensure funding for shelters and rebuilding services for young and old, victims of family violence, sexual harm, and trafficking, then we cannot just expect them to be self sufficient and become a member of the family, become a parent or a teacher, become a police officer or a social services caseworker without some turmoil and dysfunctional behavior.

Now believe me it is possible for those who have gone through this tragic way of life, especially as children or teens, and then become a parent without any support or family around to help them. We learn to isolate ourselves out of the heavy shame and disgust we carry for our past. We can’t just open our mouths and say; ‘I was forced to have sex with a lot of men from a very young age’. Do you have any idea the level of courage it takes to say these words? If it had happened to you, could you just sit down to dinner and say this to a mother in-law, or an uncle? Could you go see your priest one time and tell him these words? Could you go to a stranger, a doctor, or an employer trying to explain why you’re ill all the time or having so much trouble?

This is why it’s important for survivors of these types of traumatic events seek help. It’s why it’s important to find your voice and help others find their own light. It’s why we need the services of Violence Prevention Center, Hoyleton Youth & Family, DHS, SAVE, Call for Help, PAVE, The Women’s Center, RAINN, ChildHelp, NAASCA, and other leading local and national organizations. All of them continue to put their hearts into the mission of saving lives and rebuilding lives, healing generations every single day. I’m very proud today to say that now we also have Butterfly Dreams Alliance, an incredible team who have joined me in creating a prevention and rebuilding nonprofit service for families & professional education in Southern Illinois.

Today my life has come full circle. I am no longer trapped and praying for death. I am no longer contemplating survive vs suicide. I am 55 years old, I am in the best relationship of my life. I have three beautiful grown amazing children. I have three amazing grandchildren. I have made hundreds of inspiring and supportive friends across the country. We have fought to update and change policies & statutes together. We are creating more known knowledge about the human mind and the human heart in every survivor we encourage along the way.

Today my life is truly free and I am so thankful that I did not miss the dance it has given me. Please help those services in your area and across the country!!!

The everyday beginning steps of Human Trafficking

Thank you #BrittanyJones; Channel 12 News, #KFVS  http://www.kfvs12.com/clip/14043071/march-to-end-human-trafficking-held-in-carbondale

#Torch – Shining a Light on Human Trafficking – SIU Carbondale

Think about that statement for a moment. We are here to ask our friends, neighbors, colleagues, resources, professionals, first responders, care givers, – absorb the power of this horrific statement. This isn’t just an offense busted by FBI  stings and plaguing other countries. This is what you and I see everyday, in communities where the same people do the same things day after day. The beginning steps are the common societal actions and behaviors we have been teaching are acceptable throughout human history. We may not know what the exact list from the experts tells us to look for, but more often than not those first beginning levels of what is and can become human trafficking, enslavement, forced servitude of another human being; regardless of what we want to admit or what we see in the welfare of another person, we need to care enough to intervene early and bring attention to the distress you see in your community. Only rarely do we have the occasion in small communities to be suddenly sold or exploited.

In modern day slavery we don’t just need our justice system ready to take on these offenders and put them away, we need to change our everyday way of thinking about what happens around us. The actions that happen to people we know, people we care about. Not just to our teens and children, but old and young, male and female. If we want any of our social care and justice systems to work, then we have a duty as everyday citizens to take accountability – report offenses that you DO recognize and make certain to do it early. If we do not have educators, medical professionals, law enforcement, neighbors, friends, even family ; those who are the ones most likely to see the signs of distress, then we can not expect to change the possible terrorizing acts which they might be trying to survive in everyday.

You – you are the person who will first see or recognize something that causes alarm.  You have a duty to intervene, to question that person’s welfare, and if you’re unsure take it to an advocate or make some Google searches to understand what signs you are seeing what what it is that might be turning your gut inside out every time you’re around it or see a possible lost soul on the streets, in our businesses, working on our farms, attending our schools, or even when they are coming in for basic mandatory physicals. It’s our time to watch out for the common daily signs of distress.

Understand that I absolutely know what it is like to go through days, weeks, years; waiting, hoping, praying someone would care enough to do something. Someone would believe that I mattered enough as a human being to at least question the multitude of acts and harms they did see almost daily for years. Believe me, I am just one of the millions of adult survivors of these types of daily horrors. When you are inside this type of environment and being dismissed or overlooked by everyone around you, it’s really difficult to believe that you have a voice to ask for help. Young kids, don’t have a clue how to put into words what’s happening until around 16 or so. All they can do is keep trying to get through each day. More often than not – THEIR SURVIVAL DEPENDS ON THEIR SILENCE!!

The common everyday things that happened to me were kind of accepted in Freeburg, just like it is in the rural communities I still see today.  It was just the way we raised our kids and took our rage out on our family. In most communities today, there is always one family the town talks about and judges. My family was that family!!!

There were years that instead of looking at how much they despised my stepfather and what they actually witnessed him doing on a regular basis. Instead of questioning what they witnessed my mother allowing to happen to her little girl, in the condition of her daily needs and care; instead people decided that I should be judged, I should be shamed. Both the adults and the schoolmates condemned and whispered about who I was and the things they heard. They kept their daughters away from our home and refused to let their sons date or hang out with me. In a small community just like what we see in our rural areas everyday; I was that child and teen girl who carried the reputation with boys and adult men by the time I was 13 years old.

It happened at the bar where my mother worked for years. It happened in the private parties with boys I went to school with and who saw me almost everyday. He would arrange it all at our home with a case of beer, giving me solid instructions on how to entice them, then tell him all the gory details when he returned home with my mother. This very known and discussed activity then became private parties late at night in our home, with sometimes 10 or more adult men from the local coalmine. My younger sister trying to sleep in the other room. My mother going in to watch TV in her bedroom; telling me to have a good time as she walked away when his call came in with instructions of what to wear, what to get prepared, even putting the porn movie in the VCR. This happened not because my mother was terrorized or forced to let it happen, but rather because she didn’t want to try and survive with three children on her own, and eventually because she didn’t mind using me as her family caretaker and housekeeper.

It wasn’t just chores we give our kids today. It was every single day and every moment of my day. It wasn’t just the occasional dusting or vacuuming. It was give her a toothbrush to scrub the corners and keep her here busy until I’m ready to send her to bed. Don’t give her a toothbrush or give a damn if she cares for herself at all.

The men got me drunk, the porn was on the television, they passed me around from lap to lap. They got me high, guiding me for this one do this or that one to do that. Around 3 or 4 am, I might be told to go out to the camper on the back of my stepfather’s pickup parked right in front of our house.

Keep in mind we lived in the center of this small town for six consecutive years when his violent reign of terror and the complete neglect of any human kindness was at it’s absolute worst. This type of exploitation, enslavement, sharing, trafficking happened between 11 to 17 before I escaped. He was at that time planning to put me in a trailer, on a private lot, with a new lock and his own private key so we could have ‘our’ parties anytime. I ran the first chance I got; ran into the arms of a man 7 yrs older who beat me, strangled me, almost drowned me, and left me hogtied in a bedroom for 10 hours, dead-bolted in a second floor apartment while he went to work and out for drinks. I’ve had more weapons held to my head than I can count, the first around age nine. Like many from violent homes I rant into the waiting arms of another violent abuser. All with the aide of what I was manipulated with as a child; years of weed and alcohol to cover up the pain. No matter the suffering I must act like I had always been taught; silent, submissive, even protective of my tormentor.

All of the interactions happened for the price of a case beer or perhaps just a couple of glasses at the bar. This was my value, this was the identity that every single person who witnessed the very worst of these offenses unknowingly or knowingly, helped create in just one young girl. Each had their part and in those so easily dismissed and accepted acts they trained a child to become a human being who lived ‘in servitude of others’ until I was about 45 years old.

The young servitude was taught as I grew up to be the only person in our home expected to answer the ring of that little brass bell for years. Constantly, every single day. No wonder my homework was barely done. No wonder I couldn’t concentrate or felt so different, so socially inept around everyone else. No wonder I could barely exist in your world. The only thing I could think about was how to survive the next damn thing that was going to happen.

During these years I was attacked almost daily.  It was so brutally dominating and fearful, that it wasn’t even safe to bathe or take any time to care for myself. For five years I barely took a washcloth to my face, let alone my body.. I was a kid who attended the same school system, walked around in the same small community, who associated with the same people everyday.  I was covered in filth, my front teeth rotted out and broken, my skin covered in sores; ugly infected rashes that have left me scarred and broken with many troubling health conditions today. They saw years of physical violence; bruises across my back and legs from the leather belt he had sliced up to beat me with. Once I got that beating for putting on a pair of my brother’s button up flannel pajamas because I thought they might protect me from him somehow; like a suit of magic armor he wouldn’t be able to touch me. Believe me, I didn’t dare put them on ever again.

So now I ask you; what types of distressful behaviors do you see happening or going on with one of the people or kids you interact with everyday. What do you see on the surface? What do you think might be happening beneath the surface to control that person in such a dominant and cruel fashion? Now let me ask – Why in the hell is it still happening today, everyday.? Not just here in Southern Illinois, but in every little rural and perceived safe community across the country. For thousands – this is everyday life happening in your backyards. There are enslaved, young and old, both male & female; these are the common early steps that become the larger tragedy of human trafficking. There are at risk kids in every apartment building, rich private home, or rundown trailer park. They are trying to endure until they can somehow find a way  to somehow escape and live like everybody else.

Let me remind you; You might be the only one who sees something, or is courageous enough to report something that might first bring attention to any form of those early controlling, neglectful, threatening, servitude acts that happen. We can’t expect our Social Service workers to just walk in and suddenly take action or investigate something, until we make absolutely certain we are reporting it. Take names and numbers, then follow up to make sure they’re doing their job and holding them accountable. Keep reporting and if they still want listen, discuss it with others who witness these acts or who might be able to help them.  Our leading research & health organizations have data on trauma which has been collected for the past ten years. The ones who are responsible for assisting and investigating are just as accountable for their actions and decisions, as you and I are accountable for what we tolerate and teach through our silence.

I beg you, I beg everyone across the country; it’s time to pick ourselves up by the boot-heels and create the society we want our children and grandchildren to grow up in. A society of equality, with true possibility that they can actually succeed in their dreams. To be courageous enough to dream and feel self worthiness. Teach them to believe they actually matter; their life actually matters to the most close knit circle around each and every one of us.

I really want to thank all of you for listening to me here, and the Women’s Center for permitting me to speak at this amazing event. Hopefully you’ll think about everything you’ve felt or heard here today; the empowering energy we have felt together. We really must begin somewhere and this change will take on whatever momentum for community and family wellness that we decide to put into it. We can honestly take accountability and decide whether we will or will not permit harmful and despicable acts among us as a society of incredible human beings. No one deserves this hell for a life. No one should be so easily, casually, or grudgingly dismissed within our communities and closest circles.

When you ask yourself what can I do about Modern Day Slavery, Exploitation, Servitude, Human Slavery, Human Trafficking; please remember to just do something. Look beneath the surface of what you do see. Be the one a shining light on the acts that destroy and cycle through what we see in the common everyday dysfunctions and behaviors that lead our children into danger, our streets filled with crime, a society using deadly drugs and addictions to cover up the pain, mental & physical health problems that might just be our remaining injuries and wounds from the traumas we endured; at least for the ones who actually survive. The ones who aren’t living so isolated and tormented they are driven to complete the acts of suicide, simply because they are suffering but no one is hearing their trapped voices and their rolling silent tears. If we want to be the beginning of a new way, an equal and humane way in our society, then when are we really going to start being the voice of hope and change? Are we going to decide to continue this massive cycle of life altering learned behaviors and distress of others?

Thank you, to everyone who has believed in my voice. You are now my energy and my hope, you are colleagues or resources I depend on to do the very best I can; will those reading this also join us? Today I’m finally starting to believe in my worthiness as a human being. Today I believe in my worthiness of life, without expectation of dominance and servitude.

Be well, Live Free & Really Dream Big because you are the minds and the hearts that will make any possibility of change a reality for the magic that lies within each and every human being on this amazing place called Earth. Always believe anything is possible with you in the active equation of life!!!

 

Trish McKnight

Survivor/Author/Advocate

Butterfly Dreams Alliance NFP

Breese, IL

 

https://butterflydreamsalliance.org/

https://www.facebook.com/butterflydreamsalliance/

 

To change our world we have to heal our past……

 

Have you noticed the multitude of Adult Survivors of Child Sex Crimes who are sharing their collective voices across the United States? Actually if you really notice it’s happening in every country around the world; filling the internet and becoming part of the norm? I must say myself and every other adult survivor never thought we would be able to break our silence, release the ugly secrets, and have our voices matter. It’s outstanding the pendulum swing and it’s about damn time we take a real hard look at what has been tolerated inside our families throughout our human history.

Often inside our homes is now or can become the most dangerous place in the world!!!

National Institute of Mental Health estimates 4.2% of Adult Americans with Serious Mental Illness (SMI)

 

Why the NIMH Data?

What do we absolutely know about Trauma and our Brain; Emotional Response vs Learned Behavioral Patterns?

Let me make clear that I am in no way a licensed or specially trained psychology expert on any level. However, what I can say is:

  • I lived in a tumultuously dangerous environment for 40 years
  • I have worked through my 3rd nervous breakdown and have been a continuous work in progress for six straight years
  • It has taken days upon days of research to be prepared & provide actual confirmed information in hopes of assisting others like myself. In producing/hosting more than 200 online talk radio programs concerning different levels of this topic; our mental health, physical health, and even family health seriously impacted, which then effects our communities, crime, drugs, alcohol, gang and school violence, bullying, work place violence and societal abuses that plagues America’s most vital Freedom; our justice system.
  • I have attended trainings provided by local & Illinois State organizations to provide my certifications in Domestic & Family Violence Assistance and Prevention received by Violence Prevention Center of SW IL in June 2013. Also certification in Human Trafficking 101 which was provided by Rescue & Restore Coalition of East St. Louis in March 2014.
  • To provide assured information in the website and support provided by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery. Links and research has been appropriately provided in it’s development and updates since September 2012; along with the honor to share the creative watercolor art by Advocate/Friend/Survivor Michal Madison. www.michalmadisonart.com
  • In my attended trainings throughout 2013 & 2014 this included Sexual Assault Awareness & Prevention; Child Abuse Awareness & Prevention; Elder Abuse Awareness & Prevention; Bullying Awareness & Prevention; Mental Health Support Awareness
  • I have dedicated my focus and my drive to be part of this major force and end the stigma related to being abused; either in severe neglect, psychological, physical, sexual, and/or living with a constant fear in Family Violence.

It is factual to quote an FBI Victim’s Specialist in stating;

‘You are indeed an EXPERT’

I would say that while yes, I have a lot of vital information which I’ve collected, published, and shared to help create the change and influence as many positive vibes in helping change knowledge, provide support, and even update our policies & laws; I in no way consider myself an ‘EXPERT’.  In that statement, I have provided at least some 30 other survivors like myself who have built nonprofits, provide help, publish blogs, monitor support groups, assist victims & provide support for any person who reaches out in a difficult or harmful situation.  These are friends, family warriors, and persons whom I’ve actually admired and found strength from in what we are doing together.

We must understand the path of recovery from these issues isn’t just doing without a drug, or a drink, or getting through a moment. This process of recovery influences your education, your life skills knowledge, the ability to work everyday, to not be triggered by something in a grocery store or when with a group of friends. It effects parenting skills, boundaries, and educating our children as well as protecting them from any of this type of negative influence. It requires a complete moment to moment process of changing your lifestyle, your thoughts, your learned behaviors and disrespect for others or a type of person; such as Racism Against a Religion, Sexual Preferences, Color of Skin, Gender, Age, Economic Status or Place of Residence.

Humans have been taught and influenced by the generation before them, those who are responsible for guiding them and providing balance in their growing life. Tragically those who are teaching them in family have already endured the suffering and been influenced by what their parents and then the generation before have believed was appropriate and influenced without punishment or concern against their kids. Each of us can go back for centuries in our cultures and family tolerances to see a cycle that just continues and no one seems to know how to change it. They are either too traumatized & trained to believe this is simply life, or they have been altered by the distress of being victimized and living in a daily battle of survival.

How can we possibly see an end to this behavioral emphasis in our human existence. Yes, we definitely make sure that our laws & policies provide the best possible guidelines and punishments, but also that we provide the best possible community awareness and education in every small rural community across the borders. It is only in helping to develop a NEW way of thinking that this process will ever be achieved or even begin to affect the whole of our society. It starts in what we teach our kids and how we treat them.

The basics:

  • YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HARM OTHER BEINGS.
  • YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SEXUALLY INFLUENCE A CHILD IN ANY MANNER.
  • YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO OWN, TRADE, SHARE, USE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING OF ANY AGE, RACE, RELIGION.
  • YOU DO NOT HAVE THE POWER TO OWN OR DOMINATE; TO VIOLATE THE FREEDOM OF ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.

Yes, I’m a dreamer. I wish we could flip a switch and end this TODAY, but sadly like it has taken us generations to get as severe as we are today; it will take generations for us to provide that path and create a peaceful type of life with others.

We can however definitely make a CHOICE; make a decision right now, begin this very moment; I will not allow this destruction to touch my life or my family any longer. I will decide to do whatever it takes in getting therapy for myself and my family, to begin teaching respect for the welfare of others and appreciate the most precious right of safety in every home, in our personal circles and to openly discuss this basic freedom in all possible settings. We can influence the life of our friends, our neighbors, and our community leaders. We can absolutely insist that this topic of recovery for our society as a whole begin to be addressed as a Human Recovery in our political agendas and who we put into office in our governments. We can begin holding others responsible for their choices to harm, just as we are responsible for our actions and reactions.

Our human brain, emotional development, attitudes, beliefs, traditions, even violence, rage, sexual behaviors, anxieties, fears, actions and reactions are an affect of what we have lived in and been taught to accept; the creed we live by in our close circles; inside our homes and teach inside our schools.

Teach Positive Life behaviors

Reach out for life so you can grow.

Spread your wings to release your sorrow.

Fly strong to reach the stars

Show the world how beautiful you are

❤ Life Strong & Fly Free ❤

Believe as the Butterflies; ‘Believe Anything Is Possible with You in the Active Equation’

Thank you for reading & I hope you’ll share, comment, post, discuss in casual conversation and begin to live in your own true freedom & recovery today.

Patricia A McKnight

Author; ‘My Justice’

Creator: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

www.blogtalkradio.com/voicesInjusticeRadio

 

What message are we sending if we do not change things now?

 

Lately there has been a lot of news & education shared about the issues surrounding abuse, domestic violence, and sexual assault. Also true is the increasing knowledge and definition of a ‘terrorist’. We used to believe that a terrorist would never attack our country, that we had nothing to fear in the great country of the United States of America. We also used to hide the truth about acts of depravity, especially those concerning sexual actions with a child/minor. Today we hear of more and more adults who are talking about Actors & Hollywood Agents, Teachers, Coaches, Priests, Nuns, and even neighbors who have molested or raped us as children. What I personally hear more about, because I’ve shared my story so publicly and have put forth efforts in advocating & assisting others; is the increasing numbers of brave souls who are finally working their way through accepting the vile harm done to them by their very own parents, or a step parent. Sadly there is an estimated 40 Million adult survivors today. Hopefully they will give their signature to help make sure this doesn’t happen to another child and that if it does, there will be a chance for that child to seek justice when they are finally brave enough to face the demons and breakdown the barriers of all their endured trauma. Many of us today, Generation X (Generation No More) have suffered greatly and so have our children in our wounded aftermath. Please let’s not let anther generation of our American society live without ever being able to speak about their horrors, or to be denied justice, or to be shamed or condemned because of what someone else has done to them. No, not one more victim should have to endure the evil hauntings of their own dominating family terrorist.

What crimes describe a ‘Family Terrorist’ and what traps their victims for what can be decades into adulthood before they are ever brave enough to face their past & speak their truth, seek their justice?

The criminal actions of this type of family dominator are acts such as; child sex trafficking, sharing their child or exploiting their children amongst a particular set of friends or other family. They also commit violent molestation acts, forced oral sex and now internet display in a sexual manner of their child. They use weapons either to threaten harm or to actually inflict harm. They inflict a constant state of extreme fear of grievous bodily harm or possible death should their victim, no matter how old, ever make public or seek assistance for acts of harm against them. A ‘FAMILY TERRORIST’ has constant 24/7 access to victims & will most definitely feed off of the level of fear & trauma they can inflict without ever being caught or held responsible for detrimental harm. No one should ever have to remain silent or be held in captivity through acts of terror; held as a prisoner of silence because their pain is so vile that it could never be discussed within decent society. How moral are we if we continue denying the acts of this type of abuser, or turning away from someone we see other silent warning signs but instead of reporting a suspicious problem, we continue teaching our children to endure without tears or without ever believing that hope & help can be real if they will just speak up. It seems we teach them about what Stranger Danger is, but refuse to admit or even discuss that there might be something much worse living inside their very own home. Parental Rights is not above HUMAN RIGHTS. Protecting your child is your job, if you cannot uphold your responsibility then you either need assistance to help the family, or the child should be removed because even a child deserves the protection of their human rights.

Parental Offenders made up 92% of offenders reported in 2011, as calculated by every report entered across the nation. A total of 3.7Million Reports of Child Maltreatment, and its still climbing today

Stranger Danger was 3% of those same reports – this has to say something about who is truly harming our children!!!

Please listen in to PowerPoint Presentation

SIGN TODAY PLEASE……… https://www.change.org/p/mr-president-help-your-american-society-protect-our-universal-declaration-of-human-rights-please-enforce-family-terrorist-act-trecia-s-law

The statement below will be emailed with your signatures. Thank you for helping. Please share with your friends and especially across your networks.

Emailed with your signature:

‘Family Terrorist Act’ – ‘Trecia’s Law’ – A Terroristic Attack against our person can be committed by any other person at any time, even inside our homes. What gives a ‘terrorist’ more control than directly residing with their victims? In this presentation you will find the United Nations, Federal, and Illinois State Definitions of a ‘Terroristic Act’. You will also hear the many justifications for this act and some guidelines on how to implement this act. It is important to remember that the psyche of a human being who endures these types of brutal attacks or heinous depravity, especially when they are inflicted by someone who has complete control over our very existence, is twisted; what should be safe is not, what should be intimate & special, becomes ugly and worthless; what should be love, is harm; what should be a parent, becomes the greatest fear in the world. The types of actions themselves are against every level of criminal law and most certainly violate every level of our Universal Declaration of Human Rights. These are nothing less than criminal attacks and sadly most often committed against the weaker person; those who cannot refuse, cannot fight back, and either they cannot speak out to find assistance or they are threatened with severe bodily harm, even possible death if they even think about telling someone else about these vicious attacks & ugly depravity they have to keep suffering day in and day out, year after year, hoping their terrorist will die or someone will take a chance to find them rescue. How horribly sad to know that the numbers of these types of actions usually include some type of sexual harm of a child.

These types of enforced domination against our person, through vicious acts of inflicted ‘TERROR’,  threats with weapons, threats to take our lives or directly harm someone we love are committed with the sole purpose in preventing victims from seeking assistance, and therefore protects the attacker/abuser identity and prevents any form of official charges, prosecution, and/or victims restitution assistance with fear induced trauma recovery, life skills rebuilding, and many times even relocation.

The constant terroristic environment distorts our perceptions and is then taken into our schools and our streets through acts of bullying, and gun related violence, substance abuse and other disabling related issues. The dominance over another person by acts of continuous control by directly inflicted bodily harm, imposed threats of grievous bodily harm or even possible death if victims do not comply with every demand is not permitted in our already written criminal statutes, so give me your attention as I guide you through the implementation of ‘Family Terrorist Act’ – ‘Trecia’s Law’; named after the little girl I used to be whom so many have tried to destroy through heinous cruelty and attempted murder. We must do something now to protect the Human Rights of every person in our society. We have the right to pursue life without the detrimental constant fear being our core deciding and controlling factor.

Submitted to the government of the United States of America by the concerned & educated citizens of ‘Generation No More’.

Thank you for your time and please help us move forward in implementing the amendment as above, thank you for supporting ‘Trecia’s Law’.

 

Petition created by: Patricia McKnight – Author: ‘My Justice’

contact – trish.mcknight@live.com

Supported in Partnership by: Grounds of Grace, Overcoming Human Trafficking 501c3

Exec. Director: Ms. Dana Pfeiffer

Dear Mr. President…..I am a Child Sex Trafficking Survivor

Attn; Mr. President Obama                                            Sept 30, 2014

The White House                                                               Patricia A. McKnight

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW                                   

Washington, DC 20500 62230

 

Dear Mr. President,

Permit me a few moments of your precious time, first to give my support for the policies you have implemented throughout your terms in Presidency and your continued drive to be the President who provides a true change in our society. This being said Sir, I would like to personally thank you for your recognition of Human Trafficking Awareness & Prevention; also in assuring our justice systems hold these monsters accountable in strict punishments.

I am an Adult Child Sex Trafficking survivor, where the many years of endured suffering and vicious, disgusting attacks, were committed by those entrusted with my care; my mother & stepfather. You see sir, I grew up in the small Southwestern Illinois town of Freeburg during 1970’s. I was five when they first married and I instantly became his property. My mother had given me to him, much the same as giving him any sort of object. For the next 12 years I was his to do with as he pleased and it didn’t end until I left home at 17, but even then he continued to stalk his prey like a lion.

Freeburg was a small town of about 1500 citizens at the time I lived there, which was from 1972 until 1981. Our family always lived in the center of town and my older brother, younger sister, and myself all attended the Freeburg Public School System. Throughout my many years in expected family slavery, even to the point of answering the ring of their little brass bell; there were many witnesses and those who took part in his vile public exploitation and trafficking of the young girl I used to be. I have gone decades trying to heal, change, and erase the person my parents created, but these dark wounds leave a lasting impression and this passes on through dysfunctional parenting in our children’s lives.

The trafficking itself started at about age 11 and lasted for six long years. This included parties at our house with me given as the prize. These late night parties included many of the adult men he worked with; husbands married to my mother’s friends, but she simply walked into her bedroom and closed the door on her pleading child. There were also weekend parties with schoolmates, teen boys lured in with alcohol and marijuana, and of course the young girl as the party favor. Many of these boys knew me, they saw me in school everyday, but they were the sons who were never allowed to date me for fear of being condemned by the entire community. By the time I was 13, the village of Freeburg had given a tag name for me which I cannot repeat in this letter for you.

The most difficult for me to process in my years of recovery, was the complete abandonment by the entire system which should have said something to protect me at some point. The many neighbors & family friends who knew of the evil within my family home, yet despite the severe scarring neglect of filth and infection of sores which covered my body and the broken black fanged teeth covered with plaque from never being given a toothbrush or any form of medical or dental care; still there was not a single person who felt it necessary to make a call for help on my behalf. I still carry the physical and emotional scars today from all the evil that was my daily existence.

The life I lived in my childhood made a huge impact in what I deemed was my self worth and what I continued to tolerate in my adult life, the pattern of self destruction and tolerating almost deadly beatings from the boyfriends and husbands to follow for over the next 20 years; all because I didn’t believe that anyone would ever care or that any service would have helped me and my children rebuild our lives. My life was like no other; it was a life I begged God to end for decades. The greatest regret I carry today is that I didn’t get the help I needed to recover from all these traumas early enough to prevent the home filled with violence from invading my children’s lives. This is how the cycle continues as the emotional dysfunctions in harmed parents then passes on into their children’s lives; then their grandchildren. Sir, there are millions out there like me, today we are finally finding the courage to speak up  about the many painful abuses which are often tolerated within the family unit. Sadly when our society silences the survivors of these abuses, we continue to teach silence of these crimes to our children; leaving them to protect their family abuser and live without hope of support, healing, and recovery, thus impacting the lives of yet another generation of human beings in pain and dysfunction.

Your work Mr. President & the ongoing mission in providing resources, support, awareness and prevention strategies is the greatest reward possible for our next generation. These past ten years I’ve finally been safe, but in the aftermath of all those committed acts I am  left with permanent disabling injuries to my spine, constant migraines, dysfunction in my hands, feet, and entire chronic body pain. It saddens me to know I did all of the hard work to rebuild a life with my children and provide them an example of a safe loving home; a home with the four of us working together in learning to live a life without harm. I also held a sustainable career in the business field and graduated valedictorian which permitted me to support their needs and buy a home we could call ours. Tragic as it may be, these past five years I have been forced to give it all up and accept a life on Medicare as a direct result of all the endured trauma; however there is no one held responsible for the growing cost of my care or the expensive medications to ease the pain.

My greatest accomplishments in my healing and continued efforts to help others include many training sessions in Sexual Assault, Interpersonal/Family Violence, testing to be a Human Trafficking Awareness Trainer, achieved my 40hr Domestic Violence Advocate Training, and did two years of a featured web based talk radio program discussing these issues and providing self help tools to assist others. I’ve personally coached/mentored more than 100 persons who endured many of the same vicious types of abuses, some trafficking survivors like myself. I’ve published a brief look into my life in the title, ‘My Justice’ which has been used as a teaching guide at La Sierra University in California and have received many outstanding reviews from amazing readers around the world and human services advocates. I have also been invited to be part of the FBI Southwestern Illinois Partnership Providers Against Human Trafficking and a base member in re-establishing the Illinois Victims Assistance Network; also to include many speaking engagements in awareness & prevention of the crimes which are often tolerated inside the family unit.

Please keep up your efforts Mr. President and know how important they are. I cannot tell you enough just how many lives will be saved as a result. I pray we are able to provide Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Education in every small school system & law enforcement agency across the country and make sure to penalize any person who takes part in or watches/hears these attacks against any other person and refuses to make that call for help. It is the duty of every responsible adult to report these types of crimes and only these strong measures will empower every person to believe there is help, they can live safe, and that no one is ever abandoned in such evil existence again.

In closing Mr. President, thank you for your drive & mission to help create the beginning change in our society. I will support these efforts no matter which office you may hold when this term is completed. In the deepest respect,  I will keep you and your amazing example of an incredible family in my prayers. One day I truly have to believe that we can provide a unit of resources for every family who has a person suffering in some form of bullying, abuse, violence and the most evil of all; the sex trafficking of our children by those entrusted with their care. Not one single being should ever know this pain or carry the horrific & terrifying memories of these acts.

In Respect & Support,

Sincerely,

Patricia A McKnight

Breese, Clinton County, Illinois

Author: ‘My Justice’

Advocate/Human Trafficking Awareness Trainer

Founder: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Living in the laws of the church……

 

Hi Friends,

First off let me explain this piece of writing. So very often a survivor or victim of an abusive or harmful life comes to me and shares how they are plagued between the laws of the church they’ve been taught to believe all their lives and the many dangerous actions they’ve endured; shaming themselves simply because the church has always been the written laws of our society’s morality.

Now before anyone gets upset, let me clarify; I do not condemn the church itself and all the good it is meant to represent for our society, but rather the old fashioned laws and beliefs actually created by mankind in a century when beliefs were so strongly different in what our evolving society is accepting today.

For example;

Mankind once had written laws created by the leaders of centuries past which stated a woman was property. It was permitted for their owners, their husbands, to beat and degrade them publicly. Women and children had no voice and no opinion that any person who stood strong in the church and the laws would ever respect or consider. A marriage license gave that particular male the right to view his family as his and only his. No other person was permitted to even touch them and could be condemned in prison if in fact they did. This was the beginning of our human justice system. If the male figure, the owner, complained about an act against one of his property, his family members, then that person could certainly be sent into prison or put to death. However, if the owner, the husband, made an act of harm against one of his property, his family, then so what; the members he created in life (children) were his to do with as he saw fit. He could hand out his young children or use them to make money in hard labor or in sexual depravity; they had no right to complain and had to do as the leader, (their owner, their father), had ordered.

Now do you have a better idea about why I have the difficulty of these still widely believed and taught accepted ideals of our human morality? We are still (although adjusting in many ways) but are still teaching our children from a very young impressionable age, that only these are the ways in which we as a humans, a God Created Society, must live.

I don’t know about you, but I certainly do not want my son to believe that he has ownership and rule over any human being. I do not want my daughters to believe that although they may be married, they must stay with a man who beats, disrespects, degrades them simply because of the damning condemnation of the church, their family, and society as a whole.  I, as all parents, want and have taught my children to believe in the value of themselves as human beings, not an owner or ruler of their families, not a woman to be punished or humiliated because of her thoughts and actions. I would much rather they honor the sense of what love is about, and no matter what gender they may choose to have as a partner, it is much more important they find the person who shares a mutual sense of partnership & love with the. I cannot believe that God/Creator would rather have us live our life feeling stuck in a brutal controlling life because they fear the church and Creator will punish them; condemn them in Hell for eternity for wanting to feel loved, appreciated, respected in a mutual loving bond.

In many ways our church and religious beliefs are finally beginning to evolve with the belief that love is love, that mutual respect & kindness between all members of the family is much more important than the fear of rotting away in Hell for choosing to live another way. Think of just how much we can change the strength of our society and create a path of kindness to be handed down for all future generations of beings to come if we simply stopped forcing our wives & children to believe in these old man-made creations of law in our churches today?

My children are the most accepting human beings of others I have ever met. This is simply because they will give to others a non-judgmental support rather than condemning them for what laws of the church they have broken by choosing a same sex partner, or leaving an abusive controlling marriage, or by simply being an individual who doesn’t always preach and support the laws of centuries old beliefs simply because they are written in the old guides of our church laws. How would you have your child live in a relationship/marriage today? How would you have them raise their children to believe? How would you want them to see themselves; are they property to be used and controlled, condemned by society and terrorized with beatings or sexual contact before they are even old enough to understand that form of contact and give their consent to act mutually with the person of their choice?

Maybe its because my viciously abusive past was the most altered and impacted by a man who told me many times he was an under-study Baptist Minister in the same church I attended as a child when he first started dating my mother? He was studying to be a Baptist Minister when he had already committed depraved cruelty and harm against children of his first marriage. As I grew and his use of me began to include handing me out to others and doing whatever he instructed or face his violent attacks, this is when he began telling me how God would never forgive me for the acts I was forced to accept against me. God no longer saw me as an innocent child and would hold me accountable for all that I did and all that he was forcing me to take part in. In their long life marriage it was simply agreed I was his property and in order for my mother to avoid his depraved acts against her, she made the conscious decision to instead allow him ownership of her middle child; that I would be seen not as human, but as his. She as my mother would deny me any sense of human kindness or care, no hugs, no tenderness, just simply his evil and the housekeeper, cook and caregiver who was ordered to answer the ring of his own private little brass bell.

Don’t get my wrong, I’ve had a deep spiritual connection and respect for the intended guidance of the church since I was that little girl. This same sense of kindness and respect, without judgment towards others, has been with me all my life. It is a part of my DNA and will never be altered, not by his actions against me then, not by my mother’s decision and permissions of what happened inside our dark family secrets, and most definitely not by the cruel abusive controllers who would lure me in under the guise of love, but try to beat out of me and control me, to own me as he once did and do with as they saw fit. No human being will ever destroy the good in me which God alone instilled within my spirit the day He chose to create the human being I am today.

Our laws today are continuously changing because of new minds and voices that are being heard. These strong beings are testifying to the need of these changes in our society because of all the harm we continue to act out against those who we consider less powerful, less valuable, less deserving. These amazing persons, men & women alike, are changing our society’s belief of the roles set forth in our laws and in our most powerful source of human morality; beginning the ways we teach others inside our churches. No longer should any person’s life be set in stone by marriage or other forms which support the strong dominating male of a household who feeds their power with terrorizing acts against their spouse and their children. Why are we still teaching these centuries old beliefs of dominance and control all under the acceptance and fear of what our after life will be if we do not abide by what is written?

Let’s think about the monsters who have raped, beaten, molested and instilled deep rooted fear into their victims, all under the roof of the church or as appreciated, respected members of the church and all of its centuries old beliefs. The examples of this are endless; the priests protected from punishment and shipped around the world to give guidance and instill strong church laws into those who give their last penny to be accepted into the Heaven’s above. These predators have numerous victims whom they’ve acted out their own depraved behaviors against boys & girls alike; the victims they view as property to be used and abused without a voice whom any of their parents or society would ever believe if they spoke out against these wolves in sheep’s clothing. Look at praised and respected members of the church and communities like Sandusky who have countless times overpowered young boys to believe if they say anything about the acts, their reputation and those of their church members will never believe they could do such things, or that such acts as sexual interactions these young victims are to be taken for what they truly are, manipulations by the predators whose developed overpowering skills could ever possibly be seen as wrong.

‘So what’, society states, ‘So they had sexual actions with a child. It was only sex. It will not harm them. It will not alter who they are inside and it certainly will not impact their lives because we have been doing throughout our human existence’. Well today we have 1 in 5 Americans who are battling through some form of mental illness, be it depression, bipolar disorders, and other such illnesses. We have young children and teens who believe they must DIE because they PERMITTED these depraved acts against them. ‘Why didn’t they just tell someone or why did they lead the person on that way?’ It is a skill in which most predators are very well acquainted with in overpowering a child or younger victim. They instill doubt, fear, shame and even blame on that younger person, and we in society drive it deeper by telling them it was nothing, or that it is not the root of their problems or even worse we blame them because again, THEY ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN.

It is time that our churches start sharing the true meaning of church, not what man created with their old laws. It is time we start teaching that all beings have rights to protect them and that all persons who act against them in these depraved or violent acts be held accountable for their CHOICE to offend that child, that woman, that living creature; the living creature God has brought into this world for a purpose and a greater good. These victims are not here to be property, to be beaten, raped, and then condemned and blamed all because the old laws say it is so.

We are a new generation, we know the dark family secrets and actions that have been acted out against those seen as property, those whom mankind may have brought into this world. These young lives are not to be ruled over with fear & dominance, but to be nurtured into life under the guidance of love, respect and most definitely kindness.

All I can say as I close this out, thank Heaven above for those persons strong enough to read through the true laws and intended purpose of the church. Thank Heaven, they are strong enough to encourage change in our society under the belief that human beings will NEVER be another’s property.  Thank Heaven for the ways of our newer generations and those parents who have raised their children with value in all beings and the rights to be protected under our man made laws. Thank Heaven for the voices of strength who live with a sense that we are all deserving of peace in life; we are all deserving of an opportunity to grow without harm or shame, that all should know the glory of creating the roses that will bloom in their garden and a love to be passed onto another being without the attachment of do as I have instructed or you will be forever condemned in an eternity of Hell.

We today, are a knowledgeable society and we have the studies to prove the lasting impact of these vicious acts against another being. We are the first generation to speak publicly against these beliefs taught by the centuries old laws created by man, not God. We can most definitely give our partners, husbands & wives, our children and or neighbors the sense of their value and the truth that they matter. We can be the change that will guide a path of life for centuries to come and what I believe is the true sense of church, religion, spirituality as it was originally intended to be.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I do hope it has opened at least a few eyes in what is the true purpose of our church and not the centuries old laws handed down throughout generations. Pass it on to your friends, and if you’d like to publish this article please get in touch. You can email me direct at trish.mcknight@live.com or follow me on one of the many social & professional sites across the net. Below you will find the links to my published story, as written with my truth and finally the voice of the victim I used to be; the child property who has ripped away the coal stained hand that took from me the greatest tool of protection I was given by God above, he once took away my voice but I have finally found my own sense of freedom as I share it all in the publication of My Justice’.

 Follow all the links to gain a better understanding of what I’ve been doing in the support of victims/survivors like myself and even the family members who are battling through the struggles of healing and growth together. This passion of helping to educate about the impacts, teach prevention within our schools and our families, all while trying to encourage a prevention strategy within every small community; this is my heart’s passion and the drive that continues to guide me forward, the work I have been committed in doing since November 2010. I have studied the research of our mental health, the stats and views of publications in the Center for Disease & Control. I have also completed my 40 hour required introduction for Domestic Violence Advocacy and have become a Certified Trainer in Human Trafficking 101. I’ve done speaking engagements for many types of audiences and I would love to speak at your next function or gathering for change.

If you or someone you know is struggling through the aftermath of these harmful acts, there is the ‘Steps to Recovery’ tools which any person can use FREE OF CHARGE and on the front page of my website to help guide through rebuilding your inner sense of self after having endured any form of personally violating sense of trauma. You can and will recover from these actions against you. You can get safe and find your center and begin to live the life you were certainly created to enjoy.

Visit http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com to read through the tools and a site filled with information unlike those of other sites; not better, just filled with some guidance from someone who has endured some of evil’s worst, but finally I feel what it’s like to be loved, appreciated, and respected. You too will and do deserve to have a true chance at living your life in your own true freedom.

May peace & angels surround you, may you feel the true joys of life, and most importantly; may you know what it’s like to

Live Strong & Always Fly Free!!

Sincerely,

Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight

Author: ‘My Justice’

Paperback, Ebook, Kindle & Nook versions available

Advocate for all Victim’s Rights/Speaker/Mentor

Researcher/Presenter/Writer

Officially copyrighted and protected under federal licensing as Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Nov 2012

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio

Artwork on this website is the sole property of Michal Madison Art

More artwork can be found by visiting www.michalmadisonart.com

Although it is written as a novel…..My Justice

biopic3    MyJustice   reflection

  Although it is written as a novel, the accounts written here are true as they happened then. The impact and thoughts of the child, woman, mother, who endured it all are true. The names of the characters have been changed to protect innocent siblings & children, but this is the most powerful story of redemption & survival that you will ever read. Thanks so much to all who have given this a 5 Star Review on Authorhouse.com Amazon.com &  BN.com – Very Exciting

When I published this story I didn’t know anything about writing, publishing, marketing; I just simply needed to write through my third nervous breakdown and explain to my children about how the horrifying attacks endured in my young life created an ongoing opinion of myself and what I tolerated in my adult life. Sadly, it was a life of more than 30 years in one repeated beating after another. It was a life filled with heartbreak, terror, depression, but it was not a life I wanted my children to continue living.

Admitting to myself just how dysfunctional I was, was one of the most difficult challenges I’ve ever faced. When I had to get away from my 2nd husband, after a near death beating at 4:00 am, completely nude being strangled, beaten with a chair and spit on as he walked away; it was as I crawled to the phone to call 911 for the first time in my life that I realized only I could change the pattern of life I was in. Only I could give my children the safe, loving, supportive home they deserved to know. Sure I did my best to always give my children those things, but sadly even when they are not the ones being directly harmed, they still feel every punch against their mom as if they were going through it themselves, especially when they are young.

No, the police didn’t help me. It was the very first time I had ever reached out for someone to realize how badly I was being beaten. His mom knew it, she would come sleep on the couch to keep him from killing me. She did this at least three times in a 9 year relationship. All my life people had constantly dismissed my pain as if it were nothing to be raped with a shotgun barrel at just 12 years old, be traded out to my stepfather’s friends as my mother lay in her bedroom watching television, or to be left to have your skin rot away in her neglect of medical care when our health insurance would have covered any treatment I needed. Schoolmates attended weekend parties with me as the ‘whore child’ who would serve them. They saw the constant bruises and welt marks from beatings. They saw the filth which covered a young girl’s body from FIVE YEARS of not bathing because it was his favorite room of torture. The teacher’s, law enforcement, family friends and many others all knew, witnessed, or attended the many horrific acts I was forced to accept within my childhood home for twelve long years, but not one single person in our small community ever spoke up to help save me or rescue me from the man they all feared.

No my mother did not ever try to stop him, not even when she walked in and saw him in bed with her naked 9 year old daughter. She didn’t leave, she didn’t yell at him, but she did send me to my room. She was not afraid of him, in fact he was a complete pussy cat with her. She controlled their relationship and how their marriage went, because he just did not want to lose her. So why did she sacrifice her one child to this man? Why did she do nothing all those times he hurt me or handed me out to others? No one will ever know, because she still thinks in her mind, she did nothing wrong!!!

This is an amazing read about a child who wasn’t just abused, but was terrorized, used, traded out, and left to rot in hell by absolutely everyone who had the power to do something!!! It is about how all of those years in evil influenced what I tolerated as I got older. The many relationships in dysfunction, the dangerous and almost deadly beatings that were all I ever knew. Then as I was refused help by the police after the last brutal beating and knew one of us would die if I stayed; I fought through it all to break the cycle, give my children a home where they could sleep in peace, they could be happy, run, play and invite their friends for sleepovers. Yes, you can climb out of hell and still be happy in life, but only you can make that a reality. Only you can make the choice of what type of life you wish to give your children and then make that life happen.

Today I am safe, today I am truly loved and respected. Today I give everything I can to help others like myself. I have studied through Mental Health, took my 40 hour Illinois DV Advocate Classes, am a Certified Trainer in Human Trafficking Prevention & Awareness, and have been working with victims/survivors since Nov. 2010 when I started my first women’s support group, Survivors World on Facebook. I’ve since built a website filled with information to help others recover & rebuild after abuse. It is complete with Child Abuse Prevention, Relationship Violence Awareness, & resources of other survivors and orgs who are on the net to help your recovery. There is also two years spent as a talk radio host and the many hundreds of interviews with org leaders, mental health professionals, survivors, authors, and our Survivors World online radio. You can find out all you wish from this site by visiting

www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com
In a world that can be filled with so much pain~~
‘Always believe anything is possible with you in the active equation’~~

trish mcknight

Francine’s review of My Justice:

My Justice by Patricia McKnight

” Awesome book by a tremendously STRONG woman! ”

Delete

Mar 05, 2014 04:17AM · see review

What can we do in our family unit to be sure this doesn’t happen to a child in your life’s circle……

 

biopic3      coverkindle

Ask a survivor of forced familial child trafficking; how can we ever end these atrocities within our family unit?

As a survivor of this vicious act against children, I have shared my voice publicly through training seminars, various speaking venues, including the Speakers Bureau for Southwestern Illinois Rescue & Restore Human Trafficking Coalition; Panel Speaker for St. Clair County Illinois Domestic Violence Reform Program; Prosecuting Attorneys Association Of Michigan’s Annual Victims Advocate Training. You will also find me through many web based radio program interviews, and anywhere I am given the opportunity.

It’s only after these past ten years spent in recovery, rebuilding, and training to assist other victims, that I am finally able to face many of the evil nightmares which have haunted and held me silent with shame & disgust. The fact that my mother and stepfather encouraged, allowed, and actually invited groups of grown men to come into our home for late night parties with their young developing child; the daughter well trained to tolerate such ugly acts; it is still a troubling part of my history. In truth I had to accept the complete disregard I suffered throughout twelve long years of repeated molestations, beatings, rape, physically scarring neglect, and at the age of eleven my stepfather began his most favorite activity; he commonly sold or traded me out for sick pleasure or the price of a couple of beers.

This all sounds extreme and you may not want to believe it all; however, back then it was all a ‘normal’ process for me and something my mother and stepfather did on a regular basis. How was I supposed to know I had any other value as a human being or that I could refuse what was enforced by the parents who had all the control of my very survival? It was a common practice on late Friday night for groups of men, coworkers at Peabody Underground #1 in Freeburg, Illinois; to come to our house for the entertainment of molesting and sharing a young child. When I speak today I use my voice to raise the dark curtain about how those who are in our family, protected by their given parental rights, then use us and destroy us through deviate acts they insist we endure. Remember, a child has no voice that others actually respect. Sadly this was true back in the 1970’s and although it may be slowly changing; it is a way we teach our children through family secrets and tolerance today.

I grew up in a small quiet town located in Southwestern Illinois. For nine consecutive years I attended the same school district and lived in the very center of town. It was during these years I was given as property to be my stepfather’s play toy and trained to be his ‘child prostitute’ from the age of about nine years old. This is just a few years after my mother willingly married the devil; a man whose own son had warned her about his evil. When he came into my life the value I had as a person, the happiness I felt as that innocent little girl; all of it was gone. My mother’s complete disregard for her own child, the neglect of all basic human needs or any form of medical or dental care led to rot, filth, and permitting her husband to destroy all that was good in her bright blue eyed little girl. This permitted destruction created a path of self loathing and an intense need to die; this is what I carried within the hidden secrets for most of my life. This type of disgusting abuse and disregard of a child is something we don’t forget, something we can never just erase from our existence; it is who we see in the mirror and the part of us we come to hate.

My mother permitted his acts and actually sacrificed her middle child to this monster for him to use however and whenever he chose. She ignored her own daughter and as he took over control of my life, she chose to treat me as less than human. Our family had the best health insurance back then, but yet the only time I ever saw a doctor was to be put on birth control at fifteen. She permitted, and the community who knew me so well watched, as he began taking me to bars and then eventually started collecting a few dollars from every adult man who wanted to come to our house for the late night entertainment. The men were allowed to get me high, feed me alcohol until I could hardly walk, then trade me from lap to lap as they probed and used the child who should have been sleeping for school the next morning. He took me out to tugboat parties with the workers he met at his common bar stop where my mother worked. My parents took me on their private dates and looked for adult men who wanted to be entertained by the child who was then just twelve years old. My stepfather repeatedly through parties at our house where schoolmates were invited for marijuana and alcohol, then as always; I was the prize & entertainment. Some of these nights included me giving everyone oral sex or allowing them to take me into my own bed. The price of refusal was a beating or his own sadistic acts as I lay in fear each night. I still have nightmares today about these parties, especially when it was more than one single person at a time, but I have learned through research & therapy my stepfather was a sociopath and my mother a narcissist; neither of whom could care less about what they did to this one middle child. in fact I believe their comment when I spoke with them both about all that had happened was simply, ‘You got what you deserved.”

The school personnel of Freeburg, the law enforcement, family friends, and even schoolmates who had been lured into his dark circle of trafficking his stepdaughter; they all knew who I was and who my parents were, yet not a single person ever questioned my care. There were many who avoided any physical contact with the child whose skin was covered with ugly puss filled sores, which left me today with deep pitted ugly scars. They said nothing about the rotting, broken black fangs, hanging in my mouth, which should have been my young beautiful smile. They saw vicious bruises and witnessed beatings in the street or heard the screams from my house as he beat me for the slightest infraction or late response to answer the ring of that little brass bell; all were signs of extreme abuse and evil against this one little girl growing up in the middle of this family, yet not a single person felt I was worth saving or heard my silent screams for rescue.

The reason I am sending this out now is because I have done a lot of work in my recovery, but unfortunately the trafficking has been the most difficult part of healing. This dark training of permitting multiples of men & boys to use and probe the child I was; it all created a lifelong pattern of extreme violence and degradation from boyfriends & husbands. I endured more than thirty years of severe physical battery, which almost ended in death more than once or twice. Through these vicious relationships I was threatened with weapons, attempted drowning, strangulations, concussions, broken ribs, broken collar bones and constant fear. The impact of living in these types of relationships, eventually left its own twisted pain and fear in my children’s lives. It wasn’t until my oldest child was fourteen years old that I finally found the courage to fight for my life and give my children the safe, loving home they deserved. They had spent their young years watching and hiding as their mother was beaten beyond recognition and repeatedly told how ugly, stupid, and useless she was. Today my children still see a lot of those same horrible things in the woman who loves them more than life itself. I have watched as the evil inflicted against the little girl I used to be, has crept through the veins of my bloodline and invaded the lives of my children; today they suffer in their own dysfunctional relationships. It is now in trying to parent their children and develop safe, healthy lives, that they are repeating some of those same behaviors which had become so ‘normal’ for them.

Above I have attached a photo of myself along with a picture of the memoir I published back in 2011, sharing my voice for the very first time and explaining to my children why their world was so disrupted by all the repeated vicious attacks and disregard of just one human life. The story, ‘My Justice’, is a true account of what happened in the protective window of family. It is a written apology to my children for how the trained acceptance of these crimes was such a huge part of my life; actually was my life.

In my healing I have become a strong advocate for those crimes which exist within our homes and our family unit. However, our modern day society, even with all of the many extremes we have learned to accept on our televisions, in our neighborhoods, and on our streets, it’s sad to accept that no one seems to want to acknowledge or speak about these issues. If we as adults cannot speak openly, without the feeling of shame and fear of judgment from others, then how are we to empower our kids to know we will help them, we understand, and they have nothing to fear? It is crucial for the adults in our communities to remain vigilant and take the initiative to prevent these acts of harm so commonly overlooked. Our society can no longer trade out our children for drugs, food, beer or for the sick pleasure of deviate thoughts. These are people’s souls we are destroying and when the circle of family friends, teachers, and others in these small communities blame and condemn the child victim, see them as less worthy rather than reporting and helping to rescue that child, then we are partly responsible for the destruction of who that person should grow up to become.

Today we are a new generation in charge and we know just how dark the dangers inside our homes can become. We have study after study about the many emotional disorders left on the child victim. Most often the adults who grow up inside this pattern of life, which many can never seem to escape; they live in an aftermath of Complex P.T.S.D, Depression, Anxiety, and extreme personality disorders that require treatment and medications, which usually cannot be afforded by the survivor. The burden of these healing treatments become the responsibility of our society, which is estimated by Center for Disease & Control at approximately $124 BILLION in the lifetime recovery cost of a survivor today. You can review a report on Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery which is research from the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data Systems, (NCANDS). This report, along with the allowance announced by Congress,(For every one report that is made of child maltreatment & sexual harm, there are at least three others that are not.); in the balance of this report it proves that at least 1 in 3 children are being forced to endure the brutal acts in heavy silence & family secrets every single day in the U.S. alone.

It is now that our children need us to hear their voices more than ever before. We already have generations of dysfunctional parents wounded by these vicious ugly acts, so when will it be enough that we finally begin a true active prevention within every family circle, every small community school, every law enforcement training, and most definitely throughout our entire medical provider services. We must begin to spot the silent children who endure every single day in the terror of their parents or other close family members. This support and strategic planning of protection for all children will only be possible when we stand strong as a united human society; making the choice today to teach value in every person, and empower every child to believe they deserve safety, love, happiness and that we will end the acceptance of these violent crimes within our very homes.

I do hope you will check out the website and organization of Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery to find out more about my story and the stories of many others like myself. You will find a campaign we are leading to create your own ‘Family Defender’. It is with a prayer that you will hear my voice and help the many developing grass roots resources provide an understanding of just how common it is for those in our home to be the most dangerous to a child. Together, with the support of many incredible people today, I am proud of who I am and I am learning to see just how important my survival and healing has been; this is the path so that I could encourage others to be the ones to help end the cycle of harm we have been teaching throughout centuries. Our children are not for trade or sale. Our children are not objects for sexual gratification. Our children are not born to be destroyed by the parents who should love and protect them. Our children are soon going to be the next generation in charge, what will they know? Will it only be pain, sadness, violence, degradation? It’s never to late to be a powerful force of positive inspiration in a child’s life. Hopefully you will not turn away from the opportunity to truly leave an impression on a child in your circle.

Thank you for any time or consideration you have given here in what I’ve shared. You can contact me personally by emailing, butterflydreamsteam@live.com or trish.mcknight@live.com . You will find links below for the organization of Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio. Spread the message through telling your own survivor story or by sharing the truth of how dark the evil can become inside this man-made hell for children. We cannot allow these ongoing crimes of human destruction. Please stand strong, be proud, and be a voice in ending the repeated generational teaching of silence and tolerance within our family unit.

We have the duty today, the knowledge, the studies, the many thousands of adult survivors who share the horror they endured. How many more human beings will we permit to be used, sold, traded out, and forced into a life long pattern of self destruction. Please pass this on and help our society understand exactly what they can do to prevent these crimes and how every living being deserves to be happy, know the feeling of love, and most of all sleep in safety without fear of the hand covering their mouth and taking away their most powerful protection, the power of their own voice.

Together we are empowering our society to defend our children, connecting hearts & holding hands of help around the world.

Thank you,

Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight

Owner/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery  www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

Author: ‘My Justice’

Advocate/Keynote Speaker/Radio Host/’Steps to Recovery’ Trainer/Survivor

bdarbanner(artwork via Michal Madison Art; Watercolor Artist)

 

Bring true awareness to our community, check out the ROT OF ABUSE, the child a town forgot http://awe.sm/s5Ezs

Shocking, Disturbing, Disgusting, Atrocious, and horrifying!!!

These title words are just some of the adjectives used when people hear the true evil of my published story. The many responses, press announcements, Five Star Reviews shared about My Justice’, have been shared around the web for almost two years now. Our world media outlets and our First Amendment Right to Freedom of speech is what enables us to our stories to teach the next generation about the dark destructive evils of mankind!!!

I know very few people ever get their stories noticed in the media; especially if it has anything to do with the most darkest actions of our human society. However isn’t it rather weird that we are drawn to those televised reality shows of addiction, dysfunction and despair, so long as it doesn’t hit in the deepest secrets of our home?

“My Justice’ is a story that rocks the moral fortitude of our human society. It is a story that most don’t want to even think could happen in our small American, hometown style, communities.

Bookcvr1              559283_341569465919905_320748185_n (240x185)

This true life horror story, ‘My Justice’, has now been read by hundreds. It isn’t a life I am proud to have lived by any means, but it is one that I am thankful to have survived!!!

TRUTH: Survivors of abuse, especially years (decades) of evil, violent and vicious degradation, disfiguring neglect, and being passed around to others like a party favor; this is something that is extremely difficult to admit to ourselves. Accepting that our parents are the guilty parties who trained us to be less than human; taught us that nothing about us is worth noticing. We were not raised as children, but merely objects to be used and brutalized; objects for sexual gratification to our parents, friends of the family and those permitted into this secret world. Our human value is never instilled, guided, or protected. It is stripped away from us and ripped from within our being. We believe there is nothing about us that matters and one of the most difficult challenges is to believe we have value or to promote ourselves in any manner!!

I have found my voice, found my strength; found my value as a human being. As hard as it is to pat myself on the back, especially for the truths of subject matter involved; I HAVE FOUND MY COURGE TO SPEAK UP AND REMOVE THE COAL STAINED HAND THAT HELD ME CAPTIVE FOR DECADES, FOR THIS I AM EXTREMELY PROUD!!!

‘My Justice’ has been incredibly reviewed by astounding individuals and the FIVE STAR RATED REVIEWS and comments continue to be shared by those who read the story!!!

Best selling author of geo-political thrillers such as: ‘Den of the Assassins’; ‘Cloning Christ’ and the novel he published from parts of his own amazing journey, ‘Chasing the Cyclone’; devoted child advocate, Founder/CEO of I CARE Foundation, Mr. Peter Thomas Senese has published many outstanding PR Web announcements, Amazon Reviews, and his own many blog shares about his thoughts on ‘My Justice’……….

Renown New York based Attorney Joel Walter has given the story huge praise and a big two thumbs up!!!……….”There are occasions when a book is written that shakes the very foundation you stand on. In ‘My Justice,’ Patricia McKnight has written an excellent, inspiring story of the human spirit. It serves as a reminder of many things. First, the importance for those who fall victim to abuse to stand strong and unashamed in the wake of their ordeal, and to find the courage to liberate themselves from those that chain their body, their mind, and their spirit. It too, is a reminder for each of us in society to not turn a blind eye to abuse, and to say ‘abuse will not be tolerated, ‘My Justice’ is an incredible story of courage and freedom in the wake of those who try to withhold these essential liberties. Clearly it took Ms. McKnight a great deal of courage to break her own personal chains, and to share this remarkable story. This story will impact many who Ms. McKnight knows, and many, many more she never will meet, but who’s lives she will make better. I highly recommend this story as much as I urge others victimized by abuse to emulate Ms. McKnight’s courage.”

Ms. Linda Walcher, a retired teacher of Freeburg Community School system; now a tutor for other up and coming teachers has shared her FIVE STAR RATING of this story……….. “This novel is a teaching of awareness for anyone who has direct contact with children to the extreme tragedy of neglect that is so commonly overlooked, but which can be the beginning signs of something much deeper. As a teacher, a mother, a person who cherishes all children; this amazingly well written novel made me want to scream and beg for others to read the details that are so exceptionally shared in the glorious strength of a child’s words.”

Dr. Brenda-Joyce Orozco Markert_Green- an educator of up and coming therapists has shared her FIVE STAR REVIEW…….. Please pick up a copy and read it. Most people do not understand all of the factors and variables that come into play in abusive situations, and this book spells out many of these. You will get more of an idea of what children who are being abused go through, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well, in order to survive their abusive situations. Trish also describes the abuse that she survived in her adult life, which points out the dynamics that play out in adult abuse situations also. Once you pick up the book, you will not be able to put it down! This is a must-read, and one that everyone should share with others, so that we can eradicate both child abuse and partner abuse! 

Dr. Brenda, also personally shared with me her desire to use this story as a recommended reading source for her students to see inside the silent child and survivor who struggles to exist in her daily life.

The absolute best quote I can share about ‘My Justice’ is from Ms. Darlene Jones, Exec. Director of Violence Prevention Center of Southwestern Illinois, whose comments were video taped by News Channel 5, KSDK videographer/reporter Kevin Held, as we spoke at S.W.I.C. about the Illinois Healthcare Grant they received to provide education, prevention measures and assistance to victims of abuse and/or family/relationship violence. Unfortunately however, the final published cut of the video did not share her beginning words about the story.

Ms. Darlene Jones, Exec. Director
Author/Advocate/Survivor Patricia A. McKnight

Her special words: ‘If Patricia’s story would have been shared just ten years ago, we’d be hearing her share it on the Today Show’!!!

I cannot say enough about how much this means to me, but there is much more to be said about the value of this novel. There are many hundreds and even thousands who have connected with me simply because the power of sharing my story has given them the courage to speak their own truth. Every day there are survivors, victims, followers, even personal friends who have been so deeply shocked at this story, so incredibly moved by this story they have been impacted in ways that have changed their world. At one time they may have been one of the many still held in that heavy steel cage of silence. Once they may have been someone who turned away and pretended not to notice these evil acts around them, but now they have been empowered with voice and they are passing that inspiration forward to others and all of us are finding the courage to stand against these crimes. The greatest power of sharing these horrifying details is the very public apology I give to my children throughout the story, which was my greatest inspiration; to explain the why of all the turmoil and dysfunction that flowed in to invade their lives because of the ignored, abused, trafficked child then became their mother.

‘Yes I am one of those millions in our society who was once a victim of these vicious abuses by those entrusted with my care’!!

My Justice’ has inspired victims to reach out and seek help. Survivors who have been trapped in these dark secrets for years have now been empowered to speak up and come forward. A few of these incredible survivors who have reached out to me and stated they’ve been inspired with hope by my story; have also been sharing their own secrets and touching the souls of other victims. They are journalists, bloggers, advocates, Facebook support group leaders and founders, such as; Viga Boland, Mary Graziano, Patricia Caldwell-Singleton, Michal Madison and Janice Meadows-Hedrick, Author Sharon Newkirk-Wells, of course this is just to name a few off the top of my head.

I am continually truly amazed by the wonderful strength of these voices. For me to feel like ‘My Justice’ has been not only highly praised and reviewed by some of these astounding every day friends, gives me hope and fills my spirit with drive to continue supporting them, while driving forward to reach out to our media outlets about the importance of making it public. One day it will shine for the many well written qualities it carries and the spirit of the survivor who has walked this amazing journey to freedom.

To all of you who have read my many blogs, read the novel, heard my voice on blog talk radio or connected through private messaging or phone calls; you have all made a huge impact on my world!!! There is no way that I can ever thank you enough for sharing your support, kindness, and most of all for finding your voice to speak your own truth!!! I am forever indebted to each of you. Perhaps one day we will live long enough to see it all make a difference!!!

There is more that has come from publishing my story two years ago. Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery has been built because of all of you who have reached out to me and shared your own journey. Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery has been built because of all the interviews written; some already published, some still waiting to be published, but without you I never would have believed in this dream or built this site to provide information, resources, and help others understand the wounds we carry from the traumas of our past. To take what I’ve learned through life’s journey and know that it matters; to know it is helping in a greater mission; to inspire some human kindness, to give hope to many who have had none; this is much like the bond and deep self appreciation of giving birth, which is exactly what has happened.

I have found and given birth to the me who has been hiding inside and this new child will never be held in silence again.

There is also the connection I have made with those other shining survivors who have come before me to share their stories and carry a devotion of advocacy and change, a mountain of hope filled with information and inspiration for our society. These many who I highly respect and hope to one day have all of us sharing our stories; hearing them and reading them through our many media outlets, which then allows it to penetrate our society and climb into the cracks of our homes, giving hope to those trapped inside that there are others fighting for their freedom from these atrocities.

There are millions of these incredible survivors who know the depth of pain and evil that our own parents and those who walk among our society as law abiding citizens, pillars of the community, or worse those who are seen as vicious souls, but not one person around them ever worries about the children within their care.

Some of those who I respect most for their courage to make a difference are; Annie O’Sullivan, Michael Skinner, Lynn Tolson, Paula Phelps, Jan Frayne, and of course Miss Erin Merryn who is making great changes by the enactment of Erin’s Law across the country!!!.

As I said, its difficult for a survivor to believe it matters and market themselves and their incredible work to reach the hearts of society. Someone could make a ton of money by choosing to market these survivor stories. Of course I’m speaking for those of us who don’t already have some type of marketing resource for our voices to be heard.

The Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Talk Radio is out to help get those voices out there and allow them to be heard. We want to share your story and share the amazing work you have dedicated to making a difference. I hope each of you will join me as a guest or co-host for a live broadcasting. It is vital to bring these stories out, let society see our numbers, and bring an ease of topic and discussion about the darkest of these ugly actions from one human being against another.

It all matters because of the growing epidemic of abuse and family violence/relationship violence that is still plaguing our society today and it just keeps getting worse. Mankind is destroying the moral fortitude that lies within us all. We are still living in the hell that generations before us have taught and passed forward, yet very few stories are ever heard and rarely make it to the news and other media outlets.

We have created our own manmade cancer and it has been festering in the silence, eating away at our society for centuries. Now we have the opportunity to change what has been. Our choice to do the right thing and teach our children through the stories of our past, is the only chance we have at bringing an end and giving them a better, safer, world in which to flourish.

You don’t see our stories make it to the New York Times Best Seller List. These truths are not read about in the Time magazine. They are not read about or reviewed in the Chicago Tribune, the LA Times, or the Riverfront Times here in the St. Louis area. Even our televised talk shows such as The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Ricki Lake, Dr. Phil, or Dr. Drew, and The Today Show; all of these turn away from the growing numbers of voices who are sharing these truths. Here in St. Louis area we have St. Louis Today, or Great Day St. Louis, but none of these will broach the subject of sharing a special on these dark pasts, which are incredible stories of survival. It truly makes me want to stand up and scream at the top of my lungs, hoping to reach every person within 500 miles of my voice; “Dammit it Matters People’!!!

We continuously see commercials for the Humane Society and the ASPCA; the abuse, malnourished, abandoned creatures of these dysfunctional homes are given more attention and supported by our financial donations, but the children and abused, beaten souls within the homes are left to rot in the plague of evil actions.

Isn’t our society at all shocked by the horrific nature of these brutal acts within our homes? If not, shouldn’t we be? The longer we remain silent about these vicious attacks within our own homes, the longer we allow our children and future generations to be destroyed!!!

These horrific nightmares still continue to infect the lives of our children every second of every day. The Illinois Department of Children and Family Services released the 2012 PDF file reports, which show 218 Children Murdered by acts of physical or neglectful abuse, yet there is only minimal response from our politicians and lawmakers who have the power to make a difference.

Was there a response to the email I sent to our President Barrack Obama? – No

Was there a response from the THREE PAGE LETTER and copy of ‘My Justice’ that I personally mailed to our beautiful family oriented First Lady Michelle Obama? – No

Was there a response to the video I made as a public plea for help to Dr. Phil? – No

Was there a response to the email I sent to our Senator Dick Durbin? A very basic return email was received, stating quite simply; ‘Thank you for your interest’. REALLY????

Has Congress yet passed Protect our Kids Act? – No

Have our Senate and House Representatives yet given the approval and passed into action the Reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act? – No

Perhaps we are turning away from these evil brutal truths because there are so many millions, if not billions, who still walk in the silence of these crimes today? Perhaps we do not want to open the door to all of these stories because we are afraid it will hit too close to home and we will realize there is someone we know; someone who is close to us; someone we love; perhaps even our own children who are still struggling to survive these atrocious acts of evil?

If we do not bring these truths to the forefront of our discussions then how will we be able to convince our kids it is safe; they CAN talk, they CAN speak up, they DO NOT have to feel ashamed of what’s happened to them. How can we empower our kids with the greatest weapon they hold; their voice? IF WE ARE NOT PUBLICLY TALKING ABOUT THESE STORIES AND THEIR GROWING NUMBERS, HOW CAN WE TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO SPEAK UP FOR THEIR OWN PROTECTION? How can we possibly teach them there is no shame if we are still turning away, pretending not to see or hear; whispering about the acts, but yet telling our kids there is nothing to be ashamed of, it is not their fault?.

We cannot remove the stain of shame on these victims until we can talk about it comfortably ourselves. What example of decency are we giving them if we are still whispering about the crimes of abuse and violence within our homes? I believe it continues to drive into our children that they must remain silent rather than reveal their rapist is their father, or their mother, or even their sibling. It’s alright to come forward and speak when it is someone outside the family unit, be it a teacher, minister, coach, boy scout leader; admitting this and charging them publicly is an act of courage and they should be proud of those they saved from falling prey to these monsters, but stay quiet if it is one of us who is attacking you and beating you, raping you, molesting you; don’t air your dirty laundry is what we are still teaching our kids today.

Excuse my blunt nature, but this is not a crime we survivors have committed; it is a crime that has been committed against us!!! The acts of child rape, molestation, beating, neglect, murder; the acts of beating and degrading, controlling and attempting to murder our spouses or partners; these are all crimes, but yet they are never heard in criminal courts. These acts are dealt with in family courts. Why? If it is a stranger who pushes me, punches me, attacks me in any manner, then it is a criminal case. However; if my father rapes me, my mother beats me and the entire community around me refuses to see the harmful neglect of rotting teeth, filthy hygiene and growing disgust of flesh eating infection, then all of this should be kept quiet. Never again will I be silent about what those around me did and those within my community either watched it happen or they took part in the trafficking of a child. They ignored the horrifying screams of me begging my husband to please stop beating me. They pretended not to see the face so beaten that it was beyond recognition and the broken ribs, collar bones, and severe bruising that covered my body was all just a ploy for attention. Really?????

To all of you incredible survivors who have fought through the madness that is inflicted by these crimes, I say to you;

NEVER GIVE UP!!! Our stories may never make it to be great success stories, but I guarantee you that each of your stories are touching the lives of those who read them. We are opening up the door so that others can see the horrific destruction that is caused by these acts. Your stories are being whispered about, but they are touching the lives of other victims and relieving the burden of shame they carry. Your stories and mine are making a difference ONE SOUL AT A TIME and we will make an impact on the generations to come. We are all saving the life of someone we don’t even know and rescuing those who live trapped in this hell. 

My choice to speak up was made for my children so that I could help them understand and see the person who lies within their mother. My choice to break free from the trained pattern of accepting these violent acts against me was because of the desire to give my children a better way of life. The choice I make right now to commit the rest of my years as an advocate is done for the children yet to come. It is a hope that things will change, that our society will see what is happening; our children falling apart and the surge of mental despair that is exploding around us; this is my drive to build what I feel is my path, my destiny. It helps me to take the thirty years of brutal and almost deadly attacks I’ve survived, then turn it all around into something as precious and gentle as a butterfly coming to life.

Now is the time for all of us to climb out of the darkness of our cocoon and soar into the possibilities of a better life. I am one of the many, one of the devoted, now one of the strong adamant souls who are spreading my wings and flying through the wonderful freedom of safety and happiness, which of course is something we were all intended to have as we took our first breath of life.

Live Strong & Fly Free

© Patricia A. McKnight

Advocate/Author/Speaker/Writer/Talk Radio Prod & Host/Survivor

Founder/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Survivors World online support group

Generation No More

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery

http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

My Justice’ is available through most online book resources

Authorhouse.com/Barnes&Noble/Amazon/Lulu

Paperback, E-Book, Kindle & Nook Versions

Dear Mr. President…..

In the FFY 2011 the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data Systems (NCANDS) recorded the demographics for 3,712,034 reports of child maltreatment across the country. Sadly, because of the low number of Child Protective Service workers (being only 33,000), and because a single call taker on each of these reports was permitted to make the determination as to whether or not the report warranted any further investigation, and whether or not the report met the required individual state’s mandated guidelines; our system allowed 2,360,614 of these reports to be written off as Unsubstantiated without any further investigation needed. Even more horrifying Mr. President, is that in the overall 3.7 Million calls only 0.1% of these were found to be false claims. How can we wipe away 2.3 million reports without a 2nd or even 3rd opinion to determine the need for further investigation? How when the proven total of false claims is less than 1% of all reports; how can we say as a country that we did our best to protect our children?

Mr. President, it is with the utmost respect for what you have been able to achieve in your service as our 44th American President, which I come to you as a citizen, a survivor of horrific child maltreatment witnessed and allowed by an entire community for 9 consecutive years, while attending the same school system; yet not one single person cared enough to enforce the enacted child maltreatment protection laws to help rescue me from the monsters who were my parents.

Mr. President, I write to you today as a strong advocate against all abuses of this nature. I have taken what nightmares I endured as a child for the entire twelve long years and turned this into a published autobiography in the memoir ‘My Justice’, which I’m ecstatic to share has been used to teach upcoming marriage & family therapists; reached into the hearts of medical professionals, and has impacted the lives of hundreds of survivors who have been inspired to also begin their recovery and heal their own inner wounds from the lifetime histories of abuse and evil.  Also, in a drive to empower the community & family friends to stand as defenders and report all suspicions of abuse; child maltreatment, I’ve founded a new service, which is self funded, supported by incredible advocates across the country, and now a true resource; Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery. Everyday I connect, support, mentor survivors who are struggling through the lifelong impact of P.T.S.D., depression and many other mental health difficulties.There have been speaking engagements and trainings on how I can best help to assist families, victims, survivors to move past what has happened and the trauma which invaded their lives. At the same time I’ve continued my mission of self study of these impacts, our laws, and ongoing local community work to better assist and introduce our local services to our citizens so they understand the who and how of helping someone in a moment of need. In truth, Mr. President, I will give my last breath to make sure that I am doing all I can to educate others, support those suffering, and prevent all I can from happening to our children today.

It is crucial Mr. President that we begin today as a strong country to end the evil crimes we commit against our children and the loved ones in our homes. In order to ensure that all crimes of this nature are being handled appropriately and that all states are ready to join in this mission, I beg you Sir, please create a federal reform of the mandated child maltreatment reporting guidelines, so that we are meeting the very best of these protections and investigations for the well being of our continued generations. We can no longer pretend not to know or recognize when a child is being harmed. Throughout centuries we have permitted and tolerated these types of crimes to fester in the taught silence within our families and protecting the abusers by blaming the child victims and brushing it off as if it doesn’t matter. This has now become our own man-made created and tolerated cancer which has invaded generations of lives. The Center for Disease and Control reports about 50 million citizens living as survivors today, which generates a cost of approximately $124 Billion a year for the lifetime recovery of these brutal crimes.

It is now that we must absolutely create a FEDERAL WATCH FOR THE PROTECTION OF ALL CHILDREN. It is in doing this that we need to create a strict standard of investigational steps which must be followed through on absolutely every single report of child maltreatment. If we do not demand that all responsible adults protect the children around them and report the abuses or violence against children, then we are accepting that our children are not worth the time to investigate and mandate their protection. I beg every citizen to not allow the pedophiles and monsters to control the lives & create the nightmares our children will carry into adulthood and then they are the ones in control. What will we tell them, all of them? How many more lives will we permit in the destruction which invades their adult skills and ability to function?

In respect,

Sincerely,

Patricia A. McKnight

Author: My Justice

Founder/C.E.O. – Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Advocate/Speaker/Consultant/Radio Host/Survivor

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio