America our families matter and so does the future for our children…..Support the ‘Family Terrorist Act–Trecia’s Law’

 

Morning America. …I’m asking the ‪#‎advocates‬, ‪#‎ChildrensRights‬, ‪#‎HumanRights‬, ‪#‎DomesticViolence‬, ‪#‎MentalHealth‬ , ‪#‎Victims‬, family friends, community members, education & law enforcement, healthcare providers, even our #Entertainment Professionals….PLEASE SIGN & SHARE

If I’ve ever needed you to help me at all, I most certainly need you now. With your support we can change the future for our children, give families much needed resources & support, help victims receive justice, and hold these types of offenders accountable for their choice to attack & terrorize persons they are supposed to love & protect. We need a huge #media blast and I don’t really have the skills to put that together. Friends give me your support for this measure today!!

Let’s let our human history be our teacher and give our families the safety, protection, justice and appropriate services many of them are trying to cope with today; trying to survive with their personal attacker just one more day, hoping someone will care enough to hear their silent screams. They cannot take the chance of speaking out because if they are not assisted and their monster finds out, they will certainly have a huge price to pay.

Every survivor can tell you about the different levels of abuse inside the family. Some are ugly acts but are not overwhelmingly controlling through threats with weapons or other types of extreme fear or even imposed risk of severe bodily harm. However there are many homes who live every day in this type of constant extreme fear. This is the definition of what our ‪#‎government‬ refers to as ‪#‎Terrorism‬. Why do none of our prosecuting systems and recovery for mental health & physical injuries ever direct this into their special focus? Our society has become trained & numbed about some of these vicious attacks within our home. We do not like to think about a parent using their child in such evil ways or harming them in extreme violent acts. I get that, but we cannot deny what has been proven in many studies shared by the National Institute of Health, National Institute of Mental Health, the Centers for Disease and Control, even in the voices of many thousands of survivors today. We are finally beginning to hear stories of brutal acts throughout an entire generation of pain filled lives because so many of us looked away and did nothing to enforce our #Politicians, #Elected Officials to hold these crimes intolerable.

We can put to use, in a more focused manner, the $135 Billion a year our country is already paying out to help in providing education, prevention, and awareness, medical & legal support, for victims of Child Abuse or Domestic Violence; using it in better more focused way so that all persons involved  receive the needed skills to heal & live their life without FEAR being the one dominating scar.

These specific types of offenders often have either been victims themselves or they may have gone through some type of trauma related issue that caused this type of behavior in them. Regardless of that harm done however, behaving towards others in this type of manner is a choice. They need to feel powerful over the weaker ones around them. They make this personal decision to strike out at those they love most, yet because of their need to feed off of your intense FEAR, their attacks are most often quite brutal, sadistic, and they find enjoyment in trapping the entire family in this circle of their own power. It does not excuse the behavior and it does not make them any less responsible. The direct victims of these types of abusers deserve to be given justice for the manner of crimes committed against them.

Remember, if it were a stranger halfway around the world who committed these acts we wouldn’t think twice about putting a law in place to hold them accountable in our courts. However, when it is a family member whom you live with day in and day out, the one you depend on for your very survival, the one who may torture you for years, decades and into your future as they manipulate and accuse you as other family stands behind them. It seems no one holds them accountable and society often blames victims for being weak and living a life filled with self destructive choices.

No; we cannot let this be the life we give our children. Please help this legislation be put into action. With your name on this petition we have an opportunity to change the human past and allow it to be guide for a brighter future. You can change our world and by helping end the ‘Family Terrorist’ , help open the door for the trapped victims, allowing prosecution, restitution & assistance for the many resources they are going to need in rebuilding their lives for a more positive outcome and a possible chance at ending this cycle in their family for good.

This important piece of legislation is to be used in the prosecution for the extreme cases, those of child trafficking & terror so brutal it scars their soul, this is when it counts the most and how it will better help our society to differentiate between the words Child Abuse as a one all type of crime and this type of terroristic abuse which is truly haunting and monstrous. Yes, ‪#‎FAMILYTERRORISTACT‬, is truly the way to separate the deep levels of harm that bleeds into the lives of all those who come in contact with this vicious person. By seeing these more impacting layers of harm, then providing the much needed early intervention; we can provide the necessary support, rescue, and rebuilding necessary. You can help make a difference with a click of your mouse today.

Please help me give Illinois General Assembly Member, House Representative Jay Hoffman at least  ‪#‎FIVEHundredSignatures‬ for ‪#‎TreciaLaw‬! !! Thank you.

Please sign here & pass it on with your own special words of support – https://www.change.org/p/u-s-house-of-representatives-family-terrorist-act-trecia-s-law-the-enforced-terror-prevents-victims-from-seeking-assistance

Friends I am begging for your support on this change in how we not only prosecute but also provide healing for the entire family. I’m begging you not to turn away ever again. Hold these types of dominating monsters accountable for the harm & lifetime recovery. Not one single person has the right to take away your given right to live safe!! Do not allow these monsters to dominate through actions of extreme harm & fear any longer.

Thank you,

Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight

Advocate/Author/Speaker

Owner; Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Creator: ‘Steps to Recovery’

Cert. Human Trafficking 101 Trainer

Il. DV Advocate Assistant

Panel Speaker St. Clair County Domestic Violence Offender Reform Program

Talk Radio Producer & Host

www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio

Author: ‘My Justice’   MyJustice

bdarbanner

Learn the Red Flags of the abuse that leaves no signs – Molestation

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery.

Did you know there are presently about 50 million Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse in our society today? Did you know ​ (1 in 3) children are being harmed in some form, and 1593 deaths related to child abuse were reported in 2012? The proof can be found on the Child Maltreatment Report published by Butterfly Dreams, Patricia A. McKnight April 2013

​​Please click on the ‘Child Abuse’ page of our website to learn a lot more about the reality of child molestation. Do you know it rarely leaves any physical signs that you will ever see or notice? Do you know that early intervention relies on watching the child’s behavior and how they interact with other persons, other children, their toys, and a lot of what they say in playtime when they think you are NOT listening. Keep your ears & eyes open!!

Patricia A McKnight

Author: My Justice

Owner/Creator: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio

 

A note from the author: Hope, Courage, Change in our society

 

You see this bright blue eyed cutie; well I thought she was gone forever. I really thought they, my parents, had destroyed all that was wonderful about her. However, I feel her and she is right here with me always. She lives inside and still reminds me everyday; now I am safe, loved, and respected for the simple person I‘ve become. She is right there to guide me through and always brings joy to my heart. She has endured vicious and ugly wounding, but she is still very much alive. She has doubted herself constantly, felt truly unworthy of ever being accepted, and lost all hope of ever finding love. She has risen above their pain to laugh once again, to feel blessed once again, to shine those incredible blue eyes and pray that the world will hear her voice. Every time a survivor who has read her story, ‘My Justice’, she prays they find their one stand of hope to keep them going and know that they too matter; their pain is just as tragic but with patience and reconnecting with who they are, they too will shine as they deserve and live in all the beauty, just as they should have done before the dark storms of pain turned them inside out.

‘ My Justice is read by the hundreds of those who have the power and the contacts to pass it forward and let her story be told. One day she will be heard. One day her determination to change what has infected her family so horribly will be recognized for the evil it was back then. Its not about her rescue, for she has survived beyond all comprehension. Its not about being recognized, for she is definitely loved by many. Its not about the sadness she has carried, for the tears are all dry by the tender hands that hold her. It is about what this child has to share so that no child should suffer this horrendous pain ever again. It is about what this child has to say that just might change your thoughts, give you hope of a better tomorrow, and most of all to share the love she feels inside for all those who have endured the pains of harm and have themselves conquered the demons within to rise above and truly laugh in love‘s warm embrace.

559283_341569465919905_320748185_n (240x185)

  If you have read her story, ‘My Justice‘; I pray for those still struggling, still trying to hang in there, still trying to conquer and escape that you will pass it forward to another. Let her voice be heard, let her justice be felt, as she has now removed the coal stained hand that crept into her world and took away her greatest weapon of protection, the hand that took away this precious child’s voice and silenced her in evil until one day the sun shined down on the person would once again breathe life into her soul. Thank you my friends for accepting and loving me in all my imperfect, but still so truly bright and shining ways.

bdarBANNER.jpg

You will find ‘My Justice’ and various purchasing links by visiting www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com….

Pledge to become your “FAMILY DEFENDER” today!!! Thank you

 

Its a ‘Family Defender’ Campaign from Butterfly Dreams!!

Its a ‘Family Defender’ Campaign from Butterfly Dreams!!.

Hi there darlins, a very good morning wish your way. May you shine as if you were a wonderful BRANDY NEW PENNY 

Perhaps you’ll do me and your entire family circle a huge favor; maybe you will decide it is time to become your own ‘Family Defender’. You’ve heard me talk about things, and yes rant on about things for about four or five years now. Ha Ha, amazing my ‘friends’ have stuck around  love ya’s for that!! Now I am asking you to make a decision, to stand up straight and tell your circle of family & friends, ‘I’ve learned so much from Trish’s ranting these past few years, I am telling you all that’s it, we cannot sit quiet about this any longer. Tell them there is way too much family wounding from what we know or suspect already. Hopefully you’ll check out the many hundreds of websites available for assistance and different forms of support. Please friends today is the day we are A NEW GENERATION IN CHARGE. Do not let the old teachings, which have brought us to the level of violence and disregard of human life that we live in today. We can do better than this. We are not stupid, or incapable; we are strong and if we do this together as a society finally willing to open the door to these dark realities, protect those just in our circle, we can begin to make a change together. This pledge does NOT COST YOU A PENNY, all I’m asking for is for you to think about how you would begin the change of mindset in your house of friends? Submit your thoughts along with your email info and that’s it, your done and then of course I hope you live in what you commit to change within your circle.

Take care loves, finally got the computer online just now, so here’s to using a loaner, but thanks to the provider for helping out. TTYL 

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS, IT IS POSSIBLE TO SEEK & RECEIVE HELP, PLEASE RESCUE YOU TODAY!!

Working through your recovery and understanding your trauma, here are some great daily steps you can use to take back your power!!!  Artwork via Michal Madison Art!!

Butterfly Dreams Needs Your Help

Dear friends;                               

Last November, ‘Trish’ McKnight & Michal Madison began developing their creation of Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Broadcasting. This began as a sincere friendship built from the lives of two very different, yet very similar, child abuse & domestic violence survivors. While Michal & Trish came from two very different families; Michal’s the perfect Christian family, prominent within the community and viewed as a wonderful family unit by everyone who knew them, Trish’s family was known by everyone as dysfunctional with a feared stepfather and a mother who played herself as a woman trapped in his ugliness with three children. However, if you know Trish’s history and what she shares so much about today, she carried & waved every red flag she could possibly bare as to the warning signs of something much darker on the inside of her home.

Michal & Trish chose to provide a way to touch a few lives and give a path of hope & healing support throughout many arenas, so that they could better assist the victims & survivors who were reaching out to them. In building the website & talk radio programs it is our team’s true wish to provide trusted enlightenment & empowerment for communities, families, victims & survivors to provide a full list of resources to better aide the rescue & recovery within your own neighborhoods.

Well Butterfly Dreams has far exceeded our expectations of what we had even dreamed possible. There have been at least a hundred or more who have been helped by the one on one consultations and advice from Trish’s learned knowledge, which she has spent the last Five Years trying to become her own self studied expert in providing the very best support and guidance of developing safety plans, watching our for our kids, helping victims & others within our community, dealing with P.T.S.D., the battles of depression, and challenging ourselves to rise above the pain of the crimes to see a chance at life & happiness on the other side. Michal is now a trusted Art Therapy consultant who volunteers her time specifically with children who have been or are being harmed, so that they can break out of the shell of emotions and begin to laugh, shine, and be a child again. There have been many hundreds who have used and shared our website as a resource of help and suggested it out to those in their circles. Our fast growing talk radio programs have reached over 33,000 listens in only the past 10 months.

Thankfully, many of you have sent us over your testimonials and posted them out on various groups and we sincerely appreciate all of the incredible support & friendship that has been extended our way. Now we have decided to apply for the official nonprofit status 501c3 so that we can become a recognized ETHICAL, TRUSTED, & TRANSPARENT RESOURCE for the many who are suffering today.

WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!

Our original promised funding for the growth which was promised turned out to be a false hope. We are now left with the only option of reaching our for your assistance, and this is not something we like to ask of you, but in order to maintain what we are already doing & grow with resources, connections, supporters, and new programs to help us reach further out into; we truly have no choice. If you would like to help us achieve this goal – PLEASE – visit our website where you will find the official Paypal ‘DONATE’ option. Any amount you donate, even a single one dollar, is sincerely appreciated. Below you will find a full list of where we will be using any and all donations.

Here is a list of what you can expect to see from your assistance in donations:

1) Official Application & Development of Non-Profit 501©3 Status

2) Help us to provide the continued efforts of one on one consultations

3) Dr. Brenda to provide discounted or no-cost counseling services to those who cannot otherwise afford or get to resources.

4) Provide supplies for Michal Madison to continue Art Therapy Services for children affected by abuse and/or violence

5) Development of Survivors World Community Support Group beginning in Trish’s home location of Breese, Illinois

6) Continued Prime Time Radio Broadcast community outreach educational & enlightenment self help programs

7) Provide special printing for Training & Support Materials used in speaking/training services or seminars

8) Provide continued growth and development for the website of Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

9) Aid in funding for special reports & surveys to provide further similarities in abuse and/or violence survivors, looking into the documented publications of the lifelong issues of emotional & physical health impacts from these types of trauma

10) Help us to continue our work in providing and building resources around the world to allow everyone to reclaim their self worth, live their dreams, and finally live free from the life altering impacts of these crimes, as well as aide in the emergency provision of services to victims, survivors, & families dealing with some form of past or present abuse or violence today.

Our Board of Directors are the very best in their field of Children & Youth Services, Legal Professionals, Mental Health & Family Therapy Services. You can rest assured of our constant and complete transparent provision of services with your much appreciated donations.

Founder/CEO: Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight

Co-Founder/COO: Michal Madison

Chairman of the Board of Directors: Ms. Dana Hoffman – Professional Legal Researcher, Children’s Youth Services

2nd Chair – Honorable Judge Mary Elizabeth Bullock – PENDING ACCEPTANCE

Dr. Brenda Joyce Orozco Markert-Green – Owner/CEO, Afterglow Counseling, Mediation & Family Therapy Services; Mental Health/Family Therapy Educator

Mr. Robert Tschannen – Treasury Officer

Mr. Brett Sanders – Technology/Website Officer

Advisory Member – Ms. Lynn Tolson – Author/Advocate/Survivor; Project for T.E.A.R.S.

Advisory Member – Ms. Barbara Ochoa – Founder/CEO: PlunaFoundation, Help4Guys

Please visit Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery for Mission Statement, Testimonials, Code of Ethics Policy; Conflict of Interest Policy; Release of Liability Statement

Our family of Butterfly Angels who assist with supporting, sharing, and are support members in our live radio chatrooms:

Dawna Larsen – Admin Director – Abuse Survivors & Victims United

Debbie Naylor Cox – Admin. Director – Abuse Survivors & Victims United

Mary E. Graziano – Admin Director – Abuse Survivors & Victims United

Patricia Caldwell Singleton – Admin Director – Abuse Survivors & Victims United

**Abuse Survivors & Victims United is a Facebook Online Support Group, please contact one of these admin directors for guidelines and interest at becoming a member.**

From ‘Trish’, Michal, Dr. Brenda, and all the Board Members of Butterfly Dreams we sincerely appreciate all of our wonderful family & friends, supporters & partners in ending the generational impact of what has already become mankind’s worst travesty, the pain inflicted on our partners, spouses, and especially our children. Thank you!!

 

The Maddening Silence!!

When you come from a battered past, whether it be emotional, physical, sexual or even a neglectful pattern of generational abuse/family or relationship violence; we are trained, as anyone would be, to behave in certain manners.

These teachings can reflect in many ways throughout our life.

 
Patterns & Beliefs Of Victims:
    

1) We don’t see any personal value

2) We often see ourselves as objects

3) We don’t have any feeling or acknowledge any pain

4) There is no good example of what love or life is really like

5) You do everything to accommodate others (i.e……having sex – its just sex so give it up when they want it, right? Isn’t that your purpose in life to be an object without feeling or deserving of tenderness, consideration?)

m1    stained1

However, because you are living in these patterns of abusive behaviors, which shut you off in every possible manner; you are unable to see your feelings. As you grow into life and relationships, education, career; you present this to others around you. Unfortunately this often opens the door to another abuser. It seems they can pick you out in a heartbeat and know exactly what to do to lure you into their world. Throughout your journey in the ‘norm’ of life, you simply follow the lead of others.

“Maybe you’ve experienced those relationships where you are so terrified of being attacked that you actually breath in motion so you don’t disrupt your attacker.”

After living in these generationally trained actions for five, ten, (thirty or more years for those more traumatic cases); you tend to walk through life like a cloud is all around you.

“You’re in a heavy cloud of fog and can’t see see to steer the car. You try and try to make the right choices. There are times when you really think it’s all over and it’s going to work out, then you get a little way into positive and suddenly you crash. However, when you look around there’s nothing to grab hold of to help you through, but all you can do is keep moving onward.

Simply put, ‘ The world keeps spinning and you have to keep moving with it. Life comes in responsibility, financial independence, family, children, and you have to take care of all of it, that’s your nature.”

Remember every human action, every human perception, every human response is absorbed; it’s built into us because of the actions to us and around us. Also, every human has a different spirit and each spirit has its own level of tolerance. Each will be traumatized in their own separate way and no one can say how deeply an action did or did not hurt you. No one but you knows the depth of your wounds.

You get to a point where you just want to stand up and scream; I’m a human being! I’m Alive! Listen to me please! He hurt me, help me…” You want to scream so loudly, so fiercely and for so very long that others cannot help but to hear you. For whatever reason though, whether its because you are terrified/traumatized or have simply shut down inside; you just can’t seem to make any noise. Hell, many of us cannot even mouth the words I’ve been raped and beaten.” Then one day, although it may take years or even decades before you can begin to see the pattern of acceptance you’re living inside, it begins to attack in all different directions.

monster appears

If your abuser was your parent and then you become parents, you may even be prone to doing some of those very same acts against other kids or your own kids. These may be physical, or perhaps emotional outbursts they don’t understand or deserve. You’re screaming because of the reflection of yourself and your childhood you now see in them. This sets off a huge trigger and in being humans, having been traumatized in our own separate way; we then respond very differently. There are many abusers who have been victims. There are resources of help for parents who were once victims, one such resource is; Fighters Against Child Abuse.

Remember when you react to children, even a simple, ‘Your stupid’, will stay in their head forever. They will always remember those words, regardless of how hard they try to erase them.

Some of us may turn our head even when our gut tells us something different. Perhaps you are, in a habit or trained manner, and allowing the same Maddening Silence, which once blocked your voice, to continue; unfortunately, this is simply our human genetics.

It is what it is and we’ve been abusing our kids for centuries, probably going back to the creation of mankind.

The silence is all around us, it’s bearing down on us like this huge burden. It’s stained with shame and guilt, and it’s darkened with abandonment and blame.

why

You’re brain, in functioning like that of anyone else, being in its normality; follows what you’ve been taught. You get confused when you see the reality of your world. Then it suddenly hits you that you’ve been living in your entire life in this ‘Maddening Silence’. Your emotions aren’t normal, life is falling apart around you. No matter how hard you try you still can’t scream, you can’t get out; you’re a shattering China Doll.

m2

You walk through life trying to keep the pieces together. When something falls off or gets broken; just get out the glue and keep going. As my friend, Michal Madison so eloquently stated, ‘There isn’t time to slow down and mend the pieces, so just put them in your pocket and go.” One day all the glue disintegrates. Your pieces are all over the place. You can’t pick them up and glue them back together fast enough.

Then as you are on your knees, weeping and begging for it to be over, you suddenly hear something inside of you, it’s like a little scratchy laryngitis voice, but it’s there. You’re completely drawn to what’s going on around you, in a sense you have been letting things happen.

In all practical purposes you’re an adult and the decisions and choices are yours to make. You have to own them, own what the rebound effect of these decisions has been, then get up and make those changes to create something better.

If you’re still a minor then you’ve been going through it long enough and it’s time to break free! You don’t deserve what’s happening to you. Your strength for enduring should be noticed and seen as a great quality. Please give yourself a hug. Forgive what you have done and what you have allowed to go on. Look around where you are right now. See an island in front of you. Take a step and then jump into a new path of life, a new chance at just being you. This happens when you hear that voice and you decide to just start talking.

At first you may say it to yourself, ‘I’m done, and never again will they hurt me. Never will I be raped and beaten again, disrespected and degraded; no I will not do it anymore.’

You have to feel that explosion of madness screaming out,

‘If I don’t change things I’m going to die!!’

no

Now you may not die in a physical sense, but you will die emotionally. Your spirit will slowly disintegrate as you live trapped inside the maddening silence. Unfortunately there are many that break apart and never come back to us. Perhaps you may know someone who’s taken their lives, because they believed they couldn’t change things or they couldn’t escape.

You may know someone who’s died emotionally or the pieces have all fallen apart and they don’t have the strength to put them back together any longer. Tragically they can’t find away to escape the nightmare so they live in a separate world completely. How sad when you know someone like this, so deeply traumatized never to return to the normal happy person as they were born to become.

Rather than allow this to happen to yourself, you are going to learn about your pieces. As you put yourself back together you will see them for the creation they hold; the strength, the wit, the intellect, and the possibilities. As you learn, you are able to see what you do like and what you don’t like. You have a choice to put down and redo the pieces. Shave off a bit here and remold those parts you don’t like. Those pieces that contain the shame, the blame, the stains of your past; these are not who you are, they are the actions from those around you.

 This darkness and stain is not where you are anymore, so those shadows do not have to show any longer.

know where you are

It’s truly magical when you find the piece that is your voice!!! You hold it close, appreciate its value, know its strength, and be proud that you can finally let out the madness, you can stand up and say ‘No, I don’t like this’.

In a sense, you should be extra proud of this ability. You’ve been living as an object all these years, now you are just learning what some have known all their lives. We see them around us and their world seems so wonderful, but it is your perception. You never know what another person holds inside, what they’ve endured or what they battle down each day before they leave the house.

One day you wake up and this pounding Maddening Silence is everywhere. It seems to be louder, although no one else seem to hear it. They wonder what is troubling you,

‘What’s wrong with them? Why does that bother them? It’s only sex, even though it is her father? Why is she all upset and going crazy?’ 

You hear yourself screaming. You know it’s the truth and finally you can speak it. You have found the path to taking care of you. This is the beginning steps and you decide what happens next. It is possible to live safely; trust your own actions, choices; see your true beauty inside.          

spinthepastaway

‘It’s blossoming like a gorgeous butterfly, learning to spread it’s wings and soar into possibilities.’ 

It’s possible to see a future and more importantly you learn to believe in that future. ‘You are human, you are alive!!

You deserve kindness
You deserve respect
You deserve to be safe
Your deserve to be happy

As your life builds and your dreams begin to become your reality, the more confident you become. Those around you will see that strength shine inside you. Your career and relationships, the partners you choose will be safe. We have to learn the true beauties of who we are without all the ugliness because we are not in the ugliness or the maddening silence any longer. We can speak and be heard; hell some may even respect what you say.

If you’re really blessed; you are safe, found your voice, learned what you don’t want, and accepted the things you can’t change.

Life is never fair, some of us get hurt, some of us die; but some of us heal – become strong and have someone who loves us despite what has happened.

They see our wounds, the scars, the dysfunction; but you are glorious and have the world waiting to see you. One baby step forward each day, one learned acceptance of all that you are, the true beauty of your soul, the spirit you were born with comes out to play and suddenly you are truly beginning to live.

See your beauty, be amazed by your strength, absorb your wounds, build and chase your dreams.

true beauty1 

Be all that you were born to become. Your soul is still there. All the magic you hold is waiting to be opened. Shine on!!

©Patricia A. McKnight rainbow butterfly dreams

All artwork courtesy of: Michal Madison Art

Advocate/Watercolor Artist; http://www.michalmadisonart.com

Founder/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery/2013/02/21/survivors-world-w-trish-michal

Author: ‘My Justice’

Amazon, Barne’s & Noble, Authorhouse, Lulu

Paperback/Ebook/Kindle & Nook

Survivors World Online Support Group – Private by membership resquest only when visiting the website.

Bookcvr1

The distorted views, perceptions, value I passed forward……

Coming from my history where sexual activity, alcohol, drugs, and value was only felt through being desired by a man; I’ve done some pretty horrible things in my life.

“If someone wanted to have sex with me, then I was worthy of existence”

My only perceived value was in my sexuality as an object, not as a person. Needless to say, seeing my value only through my being wanted by a man flowed into my adult relationships and my example as a mother. The broken spirit of ugliness, overweight teen with scarred disfigured skin from not bathing; black broken fangs for teeth from never having a toothbrush or given the human kindness and decency for proper hygiene; the teen I was with all my distorted perceptions felt grateful for any man wanting to be with me or choosing me as their wife.

“I was well trained to be submissive; accepting their degradation, control, beatings and almost murderous actions because I was nothing without them.”

Carrie Underwood– ‘Blown Away’

This pattern of life was all I knew, it was who I was as a person. The training of all those childhood nightmares was such a huge part of me and controlled how I viewed my self worth; how I behaved and presented myself to others.

“The value of me was only in what others allowed me to feel.”

To say the least my behaviors and choices we all made with a broken and distorted thought process. These distorted views drove who I chose to have sex with, who I chose as my husband or boyfriends and how I allowed them to control my world.

Sadly it was those ‘bad’ choices and ‘bad’ behaviors that infected my children’s world. It is the greatest regret and guilt I still carry today. They grew up believing that the men in my life were more important and I’m sure my behaviors are what led them to believe this.

“How could they possibly believe they carried more value in my heart, if all of the men controlled my actions as a mother?”

Throughout my marriages and relationships I did everything to perfection to ensure the men were never disappointed. However, ensuring their satisfaction was done for reasons other than their importance to me. I ensured perfection in all details of my home in hopes to keep the man from exploding, which was my biggest and constant concern. I needed them to love me, but even more so I needed them not to harm me or my children. Thankfully I can say none of these men ever charged and attacked my children. However, hiding in the closet filled with terror because your mom is being slammed and beaten is nothing a child should ever know. My kids saw their mother’s crying battered body trying to console them and assure them it was nothing. “He was just drunk, just upset because of something I did or didn’t do, or listen as their stepfather beat me and raged because of something the kids had or hadn’t done, which I didn’t correct to the standards expected. Of course there were the times when he raged and beat me damning the kids, “How horrible they were and how I didn’t make them do this or that.” My kids absorbed this and perceived the beating and rage as their mother being battered because of their ‘BAD’ behavior.

“I accepted and tolerated this and then went to be sure this or that was never done again. What view did this give to the children? How could they possibly see themselves as being my most important concern?”

dvmm2                 dvmm3                  dvmm1

Artwork Created and Provided by the magnificent talent of Michal Madison

Advocate/Watercolor Artist/Talk Radio Host Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Radio   http://www.michalmadisonart.com

There were extremes of these nights of rage that resulted in a family round table meeting with me, my 11 year old son, my 9 year old daughter, and my 6 year old daughter. Sometimes these round table meeting even included their father, whom I would call to come join us and then in my distorted thinking that I was trying to get them safe; I would ask my children who they wanted to live with and ask them to make a decision to leave me and go back to a man that ruled with an iron fist, a slap, a dancing leather strap.

“My poor babies, how could they think their mother wasn’t choosing to send them away for being bad or not worthy or not important enough for me to take us all and run?”

Thankfully, this is exactly what I started working on after a doctor insisted on my getting help at the local psychiatric counseling center when he was treating me for some broken bones and stressed out nerves. During my first round of therapy I began to understand how the demons of my childhood trained me to be so controlled by the men in my life and believe that getting beaten was completely normal. My eyes started to open and my soul started falling apart. A new me was found and the strength started to grow inside. The belief in my personal value was born and I started trying to escap0e the insane relationship. Twenty years of my adult life was spent in this destructive, volatile environment of distorted through processes and choices; even worse my children had to live and grow in this mess, be influenced and forced to accept it as well.

Thankfully I finally found the courage, the belief, the determination to leave and get my children and I into our own SAFE environment. Yes there was still the need to be loved, to find love, to have someone want me for me and there would be more boyfriends to come and go, but we would have our home and I wasn’t tolerating anymore raging, abusive, controlling behaviors. No one would control what my child did or didn’t do, except of course for me.

“It wasn’t perfect but we were a family. We were safe in our own home, although it took a couple years to finally get there. We were close to each other, had dinner together quietly, happily with laughter and tears as we discussed their day each evening. It was our SAFE HAVEN!!”

Unfortunately there was already much damage done by the time this happened. My behavior to go out drinking once a week, dress up sexy and go seek out the ‘value’ I still had issues with in myself, influenced my children’s view of personal value and what was acceptable behavior. My daughter’s were the most impacted by these behaviors and how they grew to see their own value through their sexuality and needing to be wanted and loved, accepted by a man to be a complete and worthy person.

Everything that encompassed how I viewed my own value by needing to have someone want me or want to be with me, all of these distorted thought processes is exactly what has left the deepest impression on my children, especially my baby girls.

This is now the root of all I commit myself to working on each day. It is my drive to end the insanity of generational abuse and/or the acceptance of family/relationship violence. It is an even greater hope that I can give my children a new perception of their mother and, even more so, themselves. To leave this world knowing that I gave it my all to change what I had so deeply wounded in them and distorted in their perception of their own personal value is what keeps my heart pounding each day. Every soul of broken mess that I can touch through the website, the radio shows, my writings; those who carry the same distorted perceptions because of what happened and how we are trained as children to see our value and worth, to be submissive and accept the brutal actions of others – this is the belief and the generational cycle of soul destruction we can no longer allow.

For my children; Brett, Jessica, Miranda…….

I give you this ————

‘The Reason’ by Hoobastank © 2003 Island Def Jam Music Group–Official Video

Change what you can for your children before there is no second chance. I am grateful to have this chance and pray that I change what I have influenced in their lives today!!!

~~Love you always my babies~~

~~See your value in all that you hold within~~

Patricia A. McKnight

Author: ‘My Justice’

Advocate/Speaker/Writer/Talk Radio Prod & Host/Survivor

Founder: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Programming

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery

http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

© All rights officially copyrighted and protected Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery 2012

Shocking, Disturbing, Disgusting, Atrocious, and horrifying!!!

These title words are just some of the adjectives used when people hear the true evil of my published story. The many responses, press announcements, Five Star Reviews shared about My Justice’, have been shared around the web for almost two years now. Our world media outlets and our First Amendment Right to Freedom of speech is what enables us to our stories to teach the next generation about the dark destructive evils of mankind!!!

I know very few people ever get their stories noticed in the media; especially if it has anything to do with the most darkest actions of our human society. However isn’t it rather weird that we are drawn to those televised reality shows of addiction, dysfunction and despair, so long as it doesn’t hit in the deepest secrets of our home?

“My Justice’ is a story that rocks the moral fortitude of our human society. It is a story that most don’t want to even think could happen in our small American, hometown style, communities.

Bookcvr1              559283_341569465919905_320748185_n (240x185)

This true life horror story, ‘My Justice’, has now been read by hundreds. It isn’t a life I am proud to have lived by any means, but it is one that I am thankful to have survived!!!

TRUTH: Survivors of abuse, especially years (decades) of evil, violent and vicious degradation, disfiguring neglect, and being passed around to others like a party favor; this is something that is extremely difficult to admit to ourselves. Accepting that our parents are the guilty parties who trained us to be less than human; taught us that nothing about us is worth noticing. We were not raised as children, but merely objects to be used and brutalized; objects for sexual gratification to our parents, friends of the family and those permitted into this secret world. Our human value is never instilled, guided, or protected. It is stripped away from us and ripped from within our being. We believe there is nothing about us that matters and one of the most difficult challenges is to believe we have value or to promote ourselves in any manner!!

I have found my voice, found my strength; found my value as a human being. As hard as it is to pat myself on the back, especially for the truths of subject matter involved; I HAVE FOUND MY COURGE TO SPEAK UP AND REMOVE THE COAL STAINED HAND THAT HELD ME CAPTIVE FOR DECADES, FOR THIS I AM EXTREMELY PROUD!!!

‘My Justice’ has been incredibly reviewed by astounding individuals and the FIVE STAR RATED REVIEWS and comments continue to be shared by those who read the story!!!

Best selling author of geo-political thrillers such as: ‘Den of the Assassins’; ‘Cloning Christ’ and the novel he published from parts of his own amazing journey, ‘Chasing the Cyclone’; devoted child advocate, Founder/CEO of I CARE Foundation, Mr. Peter Thomas Senese has published many outstanding PR Web announcements, Amazon Reviews, and his own many blog shares about his thoughts on ‘My Justice’……….

Renown New York based Attorney Joel Walter has given the story huge praise and a big two thumbs up!!!………."There are occasions when a book is written that shakes the very foundation you stand on. In ‘My Justice,’ Patricia McKnight has written an excellent, inspiring story of the human spirit. It serves as a reminder of many things. First, the importance for those who fall victim to abuse to stand strong and unashamed in the wake of their ordeal, and to find the courage to liberate themselves from those that chain their body, their mind, and their spirit. It too, is a reminder for each of us in society to not turn a blind eye to abuse, and to say ‘abuse will not be tolerated, ‘My Justice’ is an incredible story of courage and freedom in the wake of those who try to withhold these essential liberties. Clearly it took Ms. McKnight a great deal of courage to break her own personal chains, and to share this remarkable story. This story will impact many who Ms. McKnight knows, and many, many more she never will meet, but who’s lives she will make better. I highly recommend this story as much as I urge others victimized by abuse to emulate Ms. McKnight’s courage."

Ms. Linda Walcher, a retired teacher of Freeburg Community School system; now a tutor for other up and coming teachers has shared her FIVE STAR RATING of this story……….. “This novel is a teaching of awareness for anyone who has direct contact with children to the extreme tragedy of neglect that is so commonly overlooked, but which can be the beginning signs of something much deeper. As a teacher, a mother, a person who cherishes all children; this amazingly well written novel made me want to scream and beg for others to read the details that are so exceptionally shared in the glorious strength of a child’s words.”

Dr. Brenda-Joyce Orozco Markert_Green- an educator of up and coming therapists has shared her FIVE STAR REVIEW…….. Please pick up a copy and read it. Most people do not understand all of the factors and variables that come into play in abusive situations, and this book spells out many of these. You will get more of an idea of what children who are being abused go through, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well, in order to survive their abusive situations. Trish also describes the abuse that she survived in her adult life, which points out the dynamics that play out in adult abuse situations also. Once you pick up the book, you will not be able to put it down! This is a must-read, and one that everyone should share with others, so that we can eradicate both child abuse and partner abuse! 

Dr. Brenda, also personally shared with me her desire to use this story as a recommended reading source for her students to see inside the silent child and survivor who struggles to exist in her daily life.

The absolute best quote I can share about ‘My Justice’ is from Ms. Darlene Jones, Exec. Director of Violence Prevention Center of Southwestern Illinois, whose comments were video taped by News Channel 5, KSDK videographer/reporter Kevin Held, as we spoke at S.W.I.C. about the Illinois Healthcare Grant they received to provide education, prevention measures and assistance to victims of abuse and/or family/relationship violence. Unfortunately however, the final published cut of the video did not share her beginning words about the story.

Ms. Darlene Jones, Exec. Director
Author/Advocate/Survivor Patricia A. McKnight

Her special words: ‘If Patricia’s story would have been shared just ten years ago, we’d be hearing her share it on the Today Show’!!!

I cannot say enough about how much this means to me, but there is much more to be said about the value of this novel. There are many hundreds and even thousands who have connected with me simply because the power of sharing my story has given them the courage to speak their own truth. Every day there are survivors, victims, followers, even personal friends who have been so deeply shocked at this story, so incredibly moved by this story they have been impacted in ways that have changed their world. At one time they may have been one of the many still held in that heavy steel cage of silence. Once they may have been someone who turned away and pretended not to notice these evil acts around them, but now they have been empowered with voice and they are passing that inspiration forward to others and all of us are finding the courage to stand against these crimes. The greatest power of sharing these horrifying details is the very public apology I give to my children throughout the story, which was my greatest inspiration; to explain the why of all the turmoil and dysfunction that flowed in to invade their lives because of the ignored, abused, trafficked child then became their mother.

‘Yes I am one of those millions in our society who was once a victim of these vicious abuses by those entrusted with my care’!!

My Justice’ has inspired victims to reach out and seek help. Survivors who have been trapped in these dark secrets for years have now been empowered to speak up and come forward. A few of these incredible survivors who have reached out to me and stated they’ve been inspired with hope by my story; have also been sharing their own secrets and touching the souls of other victims. They are journalists, bloggers, advocates, Facebook support group leaders and founders, such as; Viga Boland, Mary Graziano, Patricia Caldwell-Singleton, Michal Madison and Janice Meadows-Hedrick, Author Sharon Newkirk-Wells, of course this is just to name a few off the top of my head.

I am continually truly amazed by the wonderful strength of these voices. For me to feel like ‘My Justice’ has been not only highly praised and reviewed by some of these astounding every day friends, gives me hope and fills my spirit with drive to continue supporting them, while driving forward to reach out to our media outlets about the importance of making it public. One day it will shine for the many well written qualities it carries and the spirit of the survivor who has walked this amazing journey to freedom.

To all of you who have read my many blogs, read the novel, heard my voice on blog talk radio or connected through private messaging or phone calls; you have all made a huge impact on my world!!! There is no way that I can ever thank you enough for sharing your support, kindness, and most of all for finding your voice to speak your own truth!!! I am forever indebted to each of you. Perhaps one day we will live long enough to see it all make a difference!!!

There is more that has come from publishing my story two years ago. Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery has been built because of all of you who have reached out to me and shared your own journey. Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery has been built because of all the interviews written; some already published, some still waiting to be published, but without you I never would have believed in this dream or built this site to provide information, resources, and help others understand the wounds we carry from the traumas of our past. To take what I’ve learned through life’s journey and know that it matters; to know it is helping in a greater mission; to inspire some human kindness, to give hope to many who have had none; this is much like the bond and deep self appreciation of giving birth, which is exactly what has happened.

I have found and given birth to the me who has been hiding inside and this new child will never be held in silence again.

There is also the connection I have made with those other shining survivors who have come before me to share their stories and carry a devotion of advocacy and change, a mountain of hope filled with information and inspiration for our society. These many who I highly respect and hope to one day have all of us sharing our stories; hearing them and reading them through our many media outlets, which then allows it to penetrate our society and climb into the cracks of our homes, giving hope to those trapped inside that there are others fighting for their freedom from these atrocities.

There are millions of these incredible survivors who know the depth of pain and evil that our own parents and those who walk among our society as law abiding citizens, pillars of the community, or worse those who are seen as vicious souls, but not one person around them ever worries about the children within their care.

Some of those who I respect most for their courage to make a difference are; Annie O’Sullivan, Michael Skinner, Lynn Tolson, Paula Phelps, Jan Frayne, and of course Miss Erin Merryn who is making great changes by the enactment of Erin’s Law across the country!!!.

As I said, its difficult for a survivor to believe it matters and market themselves and their incredible work to reach the hearts of society. Someone could make a ton of money by choosing to market these survivor stories. Of course I’m speaking for those of us who don’t already have some type of marketing resource for our voices to be heard.

The Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Talk Radio is out to help get those voices out there and allow them to be heard. We want to share your story and share the amazing work you have dedicated to making a difference. I hope each of you will join me as a guest or co-host for a live broadcasting. It is vital to bring these stories out, let society see our numbers, and bring an ease of topic and discussion about the darkest of these ugly actions from one human being against another.

It all matters because of the growing epidemic of abuse and family violence/relationship violence that is still plaguing our society today and it just keeps getting worse. Mankind is destroying the moral fortitude that lies within us all. We are still living in the hell that generations before us have taught and passed forward, yet very few stories are ever heard and rarely make it to the news and other media outlets.

We have created our own manmade cancer and it has been festering in the silence, eating away at our society for centuries. Now we have the opportunity to change what has been. Our choice to do the right thing and teach our children through the stories of our past, is the only chance we have at bringing an end and giving them a better, safer, world in which to flourish.

You don’t see our stories make it to the New York Times Best Seller List. These truths are not read about in the Time magazine. They are not read about or reviewed in the Chicago Tribune, the LA Times, or the Riverfront Times here in the St. Louis area. Even our televised talk shows such as The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Ricki Lake, Dr. Phil, or Dr. Drew, and The Today Show; all of these turn away from the growing numbers of voices who are sharing these truths. Here in St. Louis area we have St. Louis Today, or Great Day St. Louis, but none of these will broach the subject of sharing a special on these dark pasts, which are incredible stories of survival. It truly makes me want to stand up and scream at the top of my lungs, hoping to reach every person within 500 miles of my voice; “Dammit it Matters People’!!!

We continuously see commercials for the Humane Society and the ASPCA; the abuse, malnourished, abandoned creatures of these dysfunctional homes are given more attention and supported by our financial donations, but the children and abused, beaten souls within the homes are left to rot in the plague of evil actions.

Isn’t our society at all shocked by the horrific nature of these brutal acts within our homes? If not, shouldn’t we be? The longer we remain silent about these vicious attacks within our own homes, the longer we allow our children and future generations to be destroyed!!!

These horrific nightmares still continue to infect the lives of our children every second of every day. The Illinois Department of Children and Family Services released the 2012 PDF file reports, which show 218 Children Murdered by acts of physical or neglectful abuse, yet there is only minimal response from our politicians and lawmakers who have the power to make a difference.

Was there a response to the email I sent to our President Barrack Obama? – No

Was there a response from the THREE PAGE LETTER and copy of ‘My Justice’ that I personally mailed to our beautiful family oriented First Lady Michelle Obama? – No

Was there a response to the video I made as a public plea for help to Dr. Phil? – No

Was there a response to the email I sent to our Senator Dick Durbin? A very basic return email was received, stating quite simply; ‘Thank you for your interest’. REALLY????

Has Congress yet passed Protect our Kids Act? – No

Have our Senate and House Representatives yet given the approval and passed into action the Reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act? – No

Perhaps we are turning away from these evil brutal truths because there are so many millions, if not billions, who still walk in the silence of these crimes today? Perhaps we do not want to open the door to all of these stories because we are afraid it will hit too close to home and we will realize there is someone we know; someone who is close to us; someone we love; perhaps even our own children who are still struggling to survive these atrocious acts of evil?

If we do not bring these truths to the forefront of our discussions then how will we be able to convince our kids it is safe; they CAN talk, they CAN speak up, they DO NOT have to feel ashamed of what’s happened to them. How can we empower our kids with the greatest weapon they hold; their voice? IF WE ARE NOT PUBLICLY TALKING ABOUT THESE STORIES AND THEIR GROWING NUMBERS, HOW CAN WE TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO SPEAK UP FOR THEIR OWN PROTECTION? How can we possibly teach them there is no shame if we are still turning away, pretending not to see or hear; whispering about the acts, but yet telling our kids there is nothing to be ashamed of, it is not their fault?.

We cannot remove the stain of shame on these victims until we can talk about it comfortably ourselves. What example of decency are we giving them if we are still whispering about the crimes of abuse and violence within our homes? I believe it continues to drive into our children that they must remain silent rather than reveal their rapist is their father, or their mother, or even their sibling. It’s alright to come forward and speak when it is someone outside the family unit, be it a teacher, minister, coach, boy scout leader; admitting this and charging them publicly is an act of courage and they should be proud of those they saved from falling prey to these monsters, but stay quiet if it is one of us who is attacking you and beating you, raping you, molesting you; don’t air your dirty laundry is what we are still teaching our kids today.

Excuse my blunt nature, but this is not a crime we survivors have committed; it is a crime that has been committed against us!!! The acts of child rape, molestation, beating, neglect, murder; the acts of beating and degrading, controlling and attempting to murder our spouses or partners; these are all crimes, but yet they are never heard in criminal courts. These acts are dealt with in family courts. Why? If it is a stranger who pushes me, punches me, attacks me in any manner, then it is a criminal case. However; if my father rapes me, my mother beats me and the entire community around me refuses to see the harmful neglect of rotting teeth, filthy hygiene and growing disgust of flesh eating infection, then all of this should be kept quiet. Never again will I be silent about what those around me did and those within my community either watched it happen or they took part in the trafficking of a child. They ignored the horrifying screams of me begging my husband to please stop beating me. They pretended not to see the face so beaten that it was beyond recognition and the broken ribs, collar bones, and severe bruising that covered my body was all just a ploy for attention. Really?????

To all of you incredible survivors who have fought through the madness that is inflicted by these crimes, I say to you;

NEVER GIVE UP!!! Our stories may never make it to be great success stories, but I guarantee you that each of your stories are touching the lives of those who read them. We are opening up the door so that others can see the horrific destruction that is caused by these acts. Your stories are being whispered about, but they are touching the lives of other victims and relieving the burden of shame they carry. Your stories and mine are making a difference ONE SOUL AT A TIME and we will make an impact on the generations to come. We are all saving the life of someone we don’t even know and rescuing those who live trapped in this hell. 

My choice to speak up was made for my children so that I could help them understand and see the person who lies within their mother. My choice to break free from the trained pattern of accepting these violent acts against me was because of the desire to give my children a better way of life. The choice I make right now to commit the rest of my years as an advocate is done for the children yet to come. It is a hope that things will change, that our society will see what is happening; our children falling apart and the surge of mental despair that is exploding around us; this is my drive to build what I feel is my path, my destiny. It helps me to take the thirty years of brutal and almost deadly attacks I’ve survived, then turn it all around into something as precious and gentle as a butterfly coming to life.

Now is the time for all of us to climb out of the darkness of our cocoon and soar into the possibilities of a better life. I am one of the many, one of the devoted, now one of the strong adamant souls who are spreading my wings and flying through the wonderful freedom of safety and happiness, which of course is something we were all intended to have as we took our first breath of life.

Live Strong & Fly Free

© Patricia A. McKnight

Advocate/Author/Speaker/Writer/Talk Radio Prod & Host/Survivor

Founder/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Survivors World online support group

Generation No More

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery

http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

My Justice’ is available through most online book resources

Authorhouse.com/Barnes&Noble/Amazon/Lulu

Paperback, E-Book, Kindle & Nook Versions

Three Coping Skills Everyone Can Use–becoming your own thriver!!!

We all have something that has happened to darken our world, even those who are just regular folks and have never experienced any form of abuse or violence, still have something that has invaded their life with a cloud of bad memories. It’s really hard to focus on our present life when we have all of these dark thoughts around us; even sharing online with others and staying in the advocacy mission can keep these memories bouncing around and often they will overpower what is good.

It is painful to acknowledge what happened. To accept the pain and anger, the grieving and sadness is important to fully heal and process what has been buried for so long, but at the same time we have to remain conscious of our present day life in order to find the strength to get through this. I really find it is hardest during the beginning process of this because you have to accept the truth and come out of your dissociation and denial mode of living. There is a lot I’ve learned about living in my present life rather than being sucked into the horrible times of my past. There are many times during the days of being home alone with just my thoughts, when I find myself facing these memories. It’s during all these quiet moments of being alone that I have to work hardest at a practice I’ve been doing for about 12 years, DISTRACTING MY BRAIN FROM THE BAD!!!

The truth is WE CANNOT TAKE AWAY WHAT’S HAPPENED and sometimes it is very difficult to accept; even more so when family and loved ones shut us out, blame us, abandon us and turn away from the pain we carry. We feel as if we are in a cyclone of whirling emotions and don’t know how to stay grounded. It is indeed a tragedy of what’s been taken from you, what’s been lost in your world and the good others invaded. However, the hard part is realizing the world keeps spinning and you must find a way to go on with your life.

Finding ways to GO ON with life, doesn’t mean living in denial nor does it mean you are ignoring what’s happened; it means  YOU ARE NOW IN CONTROL OF WHAT HAPPENS!!! Yes, you have choices and you are in control of how this effects your life.

1) You can whine and wallow in the horrible trauma you’ve suffered and stay in the rut of darkness. However if you choose this place you must realize the world will not stop spinning and others will go on with their life; no one will stay in the dark world and you will find yourself sinking deeper each day.

2) You also may think you have the option to take yourself out of the picture because it is too hard to deal with, but let me assure you; THIS IS NOT AN OPTION!!! If you respond to your pain and allow it to control your world, then you may think the only way to beat this is by harming yourself in some way. YOU MUST NOT ACT ON THESE THOUGHTS!!! Suicide or committing an act of harm in any way is NEVER AN OPTION!!! You leave behind pain for those who love you; your children, their future, your spouse or partner; these are the people who want to be part of your life and want to make fresh happy memories with you, which will ease the pain of your past when you allow them to blossom!!!

(National Suicide Prevention Lifeline; when you need immediate contact with a voice!!! Please Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Do not allow the abusers of your past to have control over your future. Build something better for yourself. Chase the life you were meant to have and replace those bad thoughts with positive, happy, loving memories of your children or what you want to have in your life. No matter how difficult it may get, and it is very difficult at the different stages of acceptance and healing, but never allow yourself to be over powered by these dark memories. Never give in to the thoughts of being overwhelmed, reach out to connect with anyone when these thoughts begin to take control. You may not believe there are people who depend on you to make them complete and happy, but every soul in this world has at least one person who needs them and loves them unconditionally.

There is a lot we fear; a lot we are angry about; a lot of things can set off a feeling of panic, this is now just a part of who we are. No one can erase or change what has happened. Believe me I wish there was a way to make it all just disappear, but there isn’t. None of us can turn back the clock and what would you do if you could? You would still be that same person faced with the same fear, so why be stuck in that time?

It’s important for anyone who struggles with depression, PTSD, flashbacks, or bad dreams and memories to seek out what is good in their life now. A few important things to focus on, which may help you fight through:

1) Are you in a safe environment? Remembering that you are now safe and no longer have to fear another attack is vital. Although you may be dealing with painful memories or flashbacks of what happened, you can always direct your focus and control your thoughts to feel the area of safety around you now.

2) Who are those you can turn to when things feel overwhelming? Creating this list, complete with phone numbers, will give you a quick go to list of someone who can brighten your moment during your time of need. When you build this list take extra time to think of your partner/spouse; determine if you can talk to them about your darkest thoughts. You want to talk and help them understand why you bounce back and forth between happy and depressed times. It makes it easier for them to stick it out and support you or help you through.

3) What are the positives in your life now? You want to think about your life and where you are now. Not only are you safe and loved, but what about your ability to keep food, clothing, shelter, for you and your family. Our world is in economic crisis right now, so if you can manage those three vital parts of surviving you are doing much better than some others in our country. Many are without housing, hungry, out on the streets or living in their cars. Many do not have jobs of any form to keep a steady flow of income to ensure the necessities are being maintained. This is a HUGE POSITIVE for you and should be your main focus, especially if you have children. Also list any other positives about your life right now, such as; your professional success or the fact you have risen above any other person’s expectations. This meaning, you may have been beaten down to believe you had no value, but if you are in a career or professional status of maintaining your survival; then you have risen above what others may have tried to take away from you.

I realize this time of year is difficult for many of you, but if you are not focused on what is good around you now, then your bad thoughts will win control and the depression will become heavy. You must work at being a thriver in society, but that’s OK because everyone has to work at being a thriver. You are no different than anyone else in our society. Sure you have had bad things happen, or have family who continues to be offensive or battering to you, but if you really take control of your thoughts and where you are right now, then you become stronger with each passing moment and you will build your foundation for the life you want to achieve.

My wish for all of you at this time is that you see how truly strong you are. I wish for you to look in the mirror and see an amazing person standing there. A person who has climbed out of the darkest hole to see the brightness shining around them. A person who is stronger than anyone ever believed possible. A person who has overcome the challenges against them and have pulled themselves from the ashes of destruction and built a magnificent blossoming rose in its place. May you find a breath of strength to seek your own life and see your value, absorb the positive around you, and build fresh happy memories to replace the darkness of your past.

May you break out of your cocoon and spread those beautiful wings to fly upward to your new beginning!!!

Patricia A. McKnight

Author: ‘My Justice’

Founder/President: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

Join me in Survivors World by visiting the website above and completing the membership form. Both men and women who are victims/survivors are welcomed.

© copyrighted All information shared on blogs by Patricia A. McKnight, under the titles of Survivors Justice or Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery are held under copyright protections. Please respect the efforts to bring you this information and all that’s produced to help you succeed.

Thank you