‘My Justice’ the survivor story from hell that will change your perception of family harm

coverkindle   https://youtu.be/0Rpt_oHU5NM

Patricia A. McKnight ~~ ‘My Justice’

By John Miller on January 4, 2014 ~~ “Without any doubt, “My Justice” by Patricia A McKnight is one of the most horrifying, chilling and shocking accounts of child abuse, that I have ever read.”

By Stormy on March 26, 2016 ~~ “Difficult to read though it is worth it for the knowledge gained about one of the most horrific crimes against nature and the destruction that is left in its tracks.”

Lynn C. Tolson – Survivor/Advocate/Avid Reader/Inspiring Speaker for Survivors of Sexual Harm ~~”McKnight uses details, descriptions, and a direct writing model to convey the terror of her childhood and young adulthood. The style seemed stream-of-consciousness, as if telling a story all in one breath. While reading, I held my breath, waiting to exhale.”

Attention Media

‘My Justice’ is one of those survivor stories you will never forget. Described as ‘Shocking, Horrifying, Disturbing’; ‘It is amazing you are alive today’

I am constantly amazed in the types of careers who have focused their expertise in some form after reading ‘My Justice’ or have used this memoir to help others in their type of profession to truly understand the complex levels of the child, the woman, the mother who was brutally offended over a forty year period. From her early development extending into her third marriage this woman did not know what it was to have someone who didn’t try to degrade or harm you. She never received any medical care for her serious injuries sustained in the many attacks. Everything from serious concussions from being knocked-out or the many layers of filth, infected sores, and rotting, broken black fangs that replaced her childhood smile by the time she was thirteen.

Imagine never being hugged by your mother, never hearing ‘I love you, I’m here to protect you’ from the woman who brought you into this world. Mona kept me from the father & grandparents who would have helped me, rescued me and cared for me throughout my entire childhood. She permitted my stepfather to claim me and use me as property, to exploit me at our local taverns for a few beers, to hold private parties with large groups of grown men, or to take me on their dates to entice other men to buy our drinks while he grinded his groin against me as he slow-danced with me in front of everyone.

Imagine a mother who could be so dismissing and cold towards just one of her children, that she used her as a household slave. Everyday it was getting my younger sister to school, picking her up, walking her home, starting dinner immediately, helping my sister with homework, setting a proper table and cleaning up all the mess from whatever meat, veggie, and potato meal had been prepared by her alone. Imagine being told to use the toothbrush to scrub the lime from around the sink, scrub the crevices of the bathroom with bleach, to spend every day doing household chores and praying for just two or three hours during summer weekends to escape.

This is a survivor story that in truth still continues, because you simply cannot erase the physical, sexual, violent, and verbal destruction that became the only type of existence this one child ever knew. The depth of viciousness and disregard against this one girl is something so twisted, that not even the best psychiatrists have been able to understand. Most will say the story is completely unbelievable and that it was published as a ‘novel’ so it must not, and could not possibly have really happened. I assure society as a whole and welcome ANYONE who knew me as a child growing up in our small coalmining area to comment or prove me lying. If you know my family, if you grew up and went to school at Freeburg High School, Carl L Barton Elementary School, even those who passed through my life knowing my parents Malcolm & Mona White; I invite you to speak up and share whatever memories you might have of me. I know that if John Spurlock were alive today, he would be there supporting me and defending me as he almost gave his life on more than one occasion when he stepped between Malcolm as he was coming after me.

This is a story that is definitely happening to at least 1 in 20 kids in America today. It is a story on so many disturbing levels of harm, you may think of the brutal cultures that exist in other countries and just how horrific they really are against children. The worst tragedy of this story however, is that for the author, the influence and the impact of all the sustained injuries is a huge part of her life today. She desperately tries to fight to change our laws. She has educated her children on the rights and wrongs against other people and helping their children rather than living in the circling emotional suffering. This author gives her voice, her story, and reveals all of the ugly parts of her real person so that we can provide the support, recovery, and changes in our policies and healthcare system to ensure that we are able to be a society protecting tomorrow’s children today.

Join this strong advocate who gives presentations at universities, for nonprofit services, churches, and in community settings. You will find her across social media empowering others to honestly believe that life is in their control, they can change what is happening in their aftermath today and how it will affect their life skills, parenting, and even successful employment if they do not begin their own life changing recovery process today. She is a peer support person in addictions, substance abuse, sex trafficking, family violence, and most of all as an ‘expert’ in the constant drive to becoming whomever you wish to be as you take your chance at life.

Connect for more information online through the below links;

https://www.linkedin.com/in/patriciaamcknight?trk=hp-identity-photo

www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

https://twitter.com/triciagirl62

 

 

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Head Trauma; Disability from Violence

Many times in a person’s life they may come across another person who is violent to the extreme. Sadly they end up with ongoing physical, maybe neurological, difficulties with their health from that moment in time. Reading this might cause some triggering, ‘bad emotional response; anger, anxiety, sadness, pain). However I do feel that what I’m discussing here is more critical for you to know than to ignore because of possible negative response. Please do take the time to read, share, respond. This is our ongoing multitude of issues revolving around our history of tolerating personal violence inside our homes, which simply ‘trains’ our children to tolerate this in their life, affecting their children, who then accept their own level of suffering in their life, which then affects their children and so on, etc……..

Our topic of Head Trauma from Violence can be viewed as the same information provided for the football players in repeated concussions. The biggest difference, the football player has a helmet and body pads. Inside a home of violence however, you never know when things might go extreme and if you are a child, to have a person twice your size and maybe 3x your weight; the end result can most definitely be death or lingering physical or neurological issues from the trauma.

We, our ‘decent’ human society, often feels as if this subject matter is being discussed to either get pity for things they have already survived or climbed above, or it is considered to be ‘Too Intense’ for common conversation. How about the fact that most of us know someone who is being violently or sexually attacked on a regular basis, or at least once in their lifetime anyway. The length of time a person endures these traumatic experiences depends on a few specifics;

    • How old are they? – Do they have the ability of age to speak up, get help, drive a car; get away, or work to support themselves?
    • What is their level of tolerance learned? – How long have they been living in this pattern of accepting violence?
    • What is their perception of self? Do they feel they deserve this type of treatment? Do they believe they can survive to pay their own way through life without someone who hurts them verbally/physically/sexually?
    • Do they have a close friend to talk to or who will get them help when needed; hopefully medical help and a police report?

This constant level of extreme violence, which quite often involves threats with weapons, use of weapons, threats of death or sudden violent attacks without cause of anger. This happens more often when people on are heavy types of illicit drugs such as Meth or even heavy drinking. I personally know a lot of people who are affected by drinking Whiskey or Tequila. Drinking, rather it is wine or whiskey is a very common act which happens in almost every household. This is something our kids learn as social behavior and many of them in our inner city or urban areas see drastic levels of drug or alcohol use on a regular basis. This is not to leave out our rural or rich society, because it most definitely is a staple of coping life in their homes as well.

Since I’ve worked much of my life as a bartender, (an excellent backup skill to always have an income); also I grew up in an alcoholic and drug enticing environment; I’ve seen people under the influence on different levels of drinking or illicit drugs. In this type of human acceptance of drinking and the BAR environment; I’ve seen first hand how alcohol has the greatest negative response for many people. They are trying to cope with the struggles of their life, maybe past trauma, but instead of finding a peaceful place they find an angry place. This will cause many family arguments, many of those simply because someone was in eyesight so they end up getting attacked. Violence is an instant reaction caused by someone who has reached their angry place inside. The choice to act against another person can be triggered by conversation, being in a difficult environment, around people they feel are a threat to their identity, or from the chemical reaction of the alcohol itself. 

The violence usually begins on a verbal foundation, suddenly a rage in the person’s reactions; slamming a fist on the table or couch, stomping their foot, throwing an item, or suddenly grabbing the person who is closest to them. The violence can quickly become intensely dangerous, which results in kicking, punching, strangulation, or by slamming the person’s head against a solid surface. This is when it becomes most life threatening and could cause a lasting trauma within the brain itself from possible bruising on the brain, just like what happens in the concussion injury of our major NFL Players or the controversial high school football when they begin to get more physically developed to cause an injury.

Myself, I lost count of how many times I was actually knocked out or had my head bashed against a solid surface in a violent attack. I’ve been slammed repeatedly against dashboards, windows, mirrors, stoves, refrigerators, doors, walls, even a huge tree slab that was meant to be a table top about eight inches thick. There was NEVER any type of medical follow up to confirm a concussion, especially during my childhood. No way could my parents risk taking me to the doctor and having my leather strap lashes and bashed up head examined; the state would have taken their family slave immediately. This is why most people in a violent home rarely receive the necessary medical treatment. I’ve had cracked or broken ribs, couldn’t move or breathe well for weeks. I’ve had both collar bones broken at the end from having my shoulder area smashed against a wall or stomped on while being kicked in the head.

Today, in my mid 50’s, there are a lot of chronic pain issues from injuries. There is also the Fibromyalgia from living in a constantly high stress environment. Our medical community have confirmed that Fibromyalgia ‘can be directly connected to the Fight or Flight Response’. Our human system is designed to enhance our adrenaline and heightened response to threat. However, if you cannot change your situation and cannot avoid being harmed, your body’s reaction to stress becomes confused. Your nerve endings go into an intense reaction from the heightened response, yet you are physically not able to do anything to get away; this causes a ‘trained’ intense neurological response to any sense of ‘threat’ and becomes a cramping, burning and intense pain in the upper body, pressure builds up in your forearms and calves, then shoots down into your fingers and feet as if they are on fire. I’ve found that Lyrica is the best medication for this type of pain, but Coping Skills must be used to calm your intense reaction so that your body & adrenaline response also calm, which then loosens the muscle contraction and burning sensation. Fibromyalgia is commonly found in those with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. It is also found more in women, but I believe that men have not yet been fully examined in this research as they are just beginning to seek out help when in a violent relationship. Fibromyalgia is also found in those who have been in a threatening situation for a long period of time.

These are just a few lasting injuries from violent trauma, which are directly linked to possible ongoing disabling and chronic results which impact our nation’s healthcare system. Since many of us are harmed as children, we tend to accept a certain level of violent (verbal, physical, sexual) depending on what you lived through during your formidable years. It’s important to consider the types of influence on our growing deficit as well. The cost of those who cannot work for their independent survival income, either because of physical or emotional injury from violence and abusive actions; these millions of persons become a national responsibility, which we all know is already crippled, bankrupt, and out of control.

However, if we are trained to spot the WARNING SIGNS OF TRAUMA & VIOLENCE, as given from many reputable organizations who are experts on these traumas. I have also developed a presentation which connects all factors of violence, sexual trauma, and the result of what can become human trafficking or exploitation. A View from the Inside’ is available for viewing but is copyright research which has taken about three years to put together in the total connection of what can become the most dangerous place in the world; the connection of ‘Family Violence & Human Trafficking’. This is a crucial topic in our society and should be a priority topic for all of our elected officials and our service providers, regardless if you are a neighbor, family member, educator, law enforcement, or healthcare professional. You NEED to know what are those unspoken signs of trauma?

According to this attached article & graphic from American Academy of Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation, there is a very strong correlation between Adverse Childhood Experience, especially in those who score between a 4 to 8 on the counted scale of what you endured. The higher your score on the ACE Study creates a 95% greater risk of early disability, which can become a complete dependency on Social Security Income & Medicare/Medicaid for ongoing health related challenges.

In closing, think of Shaken Baby Syndrome, if we consider how detrimental to natural development is interrupted by shaking a baby, causing their brain to bounce off the skull, then what is also the cognitive and lasting affect after concussion or bashing a teen or adult head repeatedly for an extended period of time? This is something I am researching now as I focus on the growing impact of violence in our society, especially in family violence with rarely any type of medical attention received. Most of the injuries go unreported as a whole, and the victims are taught to ‘simply walk it off’ type of conditioning to tolerance. We cannot end the travesty in our society of street violence or school violence, until we tackle the growing pandemic of ‘Family Related Violence & Trauma’.

Thanks for reading and I do hope you will help share this crucial information. When we can provide needed medical help, we reduce the possibility of permanent injury and in the end also reduce the high risk of injury and early disabling conditions.

Something to think about…..

Patricia “Trish’’ McKnight

CSA Survivor Force Regional Spokesperson

Family Violence & Child Sexual Trauma Specialist

Cert Human Trafficking Trainer 2013

IL Cert DV Support Advocate 2012

Panel Member DV Offender Education Reform Program

Assisting victims & families since Nov 2010

 

 

Ref:

1) National Institute of Health, Pain Treatment Research, Article 2011; 2012 Manuel Martinez-Lavin

2) Copyright © 2014 American Academy of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation. Published by Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. PMID:24486921 [PubMed – indexed for MEDLINE] PMCID:PMC4306581

3) Types of Abuses & Warning Signs: Patricia A McKnight, Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery (Child Abuse Warning Signs & Relationship Violence Red Flags) Pub 2012 ©

4) ‘A View from the Inside – Family Crimes & Human Trafficking’ © Patricia A McKnight 2015

Most grievous cases of child abuse on record

In researching information on ‘The most grievous cases of child abuse on record’, I want to share with you some of these highlights. These are not just cases in America, they stretch around the world. These are five of the worst cases that pop up in my Google search result. In reading these, definitely horrific cases, I’m not certain if these are the worst, as I can think of persons spoken with at 40 survivors (some 10/12 men, some 20/25 women, about 4 teens) who made it through years of heinous sexual and ‘terroristic physical trauma’. I invite anyone who wishes to share their story to comment here. If you don’t wish others to know, create a fake identity and share your story so others know that your voice is one of the millions silenced every year.

Sadly the details of grievous violent & sexual harms to children are rarely reported until it results in death of the child. More common than not, is a circle of community, educators, family friends, neighbors, schoolmates – but no one reports because they’re just not certain it actually concerns them at all.

Before these cases make our media headlines, someone has to be taken to court and forced to take accountability either in Criminal or Civil Liabilities. This means that someone has to be affected enough to consider these cases the most dismissed, the most brutal, the absolute worst cases in our history. What is worst of all, the type of punishment given to the offender, Family Offender; earlier history lesser punishments but gets slightly more equal to their crime as we try to address these heinous cruelties which are dismissed by many then tragically end in death for the child…..As of this date the years of physical & sexual attacks against our children are RARELY punished at all, and most are given mild sentencing compared to the lifetime altering trauma of their victims.

Here’s a few for you to review…..Links attached to resource information

Mekhi Boone – March 13, 2013 – ‘Not a 2 inch area of his body that wasn’t bruised’

Reports first began against child’s mother July 2009

Father – Had long history of Domestic Battery Offenses against mother and Mekhi

Paternal Grandmother – Nov 2012

Father – Given custody, after being recorded as ‘Not a candidate for custody’ in 2011

As this shares – No one in the State DCF/TFI visited to check on him after Jan 2013

‘Beat to death’ March 13, 2013 – lasting wounds, each in different stages of healing, some new’

No one, either from TFI or DCF, visited Mekhi after Jan. 13, 2013, the lawsuit says.

The worst ever seen

After a little less than two months without any contact from the state or TFI, Mekhi’s situation changed suddenly.

Davis brought Mekhi to the Hiawatha hospital on March 3, 2013. Mekhi was unresponsive. Davis said the child had fallen down 30 stairs.

According to the lawsuit, Davis spoke of behavior problems with the boy. Hospital staff who removed Mekhi’s clothing saw bruising and abrasions all over his body in various stages of healing.

Mekhi had multiple injuries, including internal bleeding and bleeding on the brain. He was taken by helicopter to Children’s Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, Mo.

At Children’s Mercy, doctors diagnosed Mekhi with severe traumatic brain injury secondary to child abuse, a skull fracture, mid-line shift of the brain and multiple bruises. The diagnosis didn’t match the explanation Davis had provided.

“Children’s Mercy personnel including a medical doctor who had observed approximately 15,000 victims of child abuse, described (Mekhi’s) injuries as the worst ever seen for a child that age, and that there was not two inches of (Mekhi’s) body that did not have bruising on it,” the lawsuit reads.

On March 4, Petry — the DCF worker who had told TFI in July 2012 that Davis wasn’t a placement option — visited Mekhi in the hospital. She wrote in her case activity log that Mekhi had been “beat to death.” She noted Mekhi showed signs of sexual abuse as well.

Sexual abuse of children and teens by Priests of the Roman Catholic Church 2008

As many as 800 victims have filed charges, one Priest “O’Grady”; more than 200 victims throughout his years in the church.

O’Grady, having served half of a 14-year prison sentence, is now living in his native Ireland after being deported from the US in 2000.

Carnation couple charged in “worst case” child abuse of teen daughter – 

Prosecutors said the couple were investigated by Child Protective Services in 2005 when the girl reported being locked in her room for extended periods of time. The CPS investigation concluded that the allegations were founded after Long admitted to locking the girl in her room, but the case was not referred for criminal prosecution, prosecutors said.

According to police, the girl said her stepmother disciplined her by “restricting her water intake” to about half of a small Dixie cup per day.

The girl and her brother “were forced to sleep on the floor in the same room as their parents, and a heavy dresser was pushed in front of the door to keep her from sneaking out and getting water.”

That happened after the girl was caught one night sneaking out of her own room to drink water from the toilet, according to police. She told police she feared her stepmother would hear the faucets if she used them. For food, police said, she was mostly given toast.

The stepmother, who did not work outside the home and claimed to be home-schooling the children, also directly monitored her stepdaughter’s showers and bathroom habits “to keep her from surreptitiously drinking water,” police said. Showers were restricted to every two or three weeks.

The girl told police that her stepmother once duct-taped her hands behind her back and dunked her head in the toilet to discipline her.

If convicted of first- and second-degree criminal mistreatment as charged, Pomeroy and Long could face three and four years in prison, according to King County prosecutor spokesman Dan Donohoe.

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Women to be released after committing the worst case of child abuse in history.

Over the last fifteen years I have followed story after story of abused children. However, the case of Baby Briana has resonated in my mind from the first day I saw it ten years ago. Autopsy results showed Brianna Mariah Lopez, 5-months, 5-days old, died from cranial cerebral injuries. She had bruising and scraping injuries throughout her head, as well as on her upper forehead.
Baby-Briana’s died on July 19, 2002 in Las Crucens, New Mexico. She was only five months old when she was pronounced dead in the Memorial Medical Center emergency room at 11:10 am. The reasons of her death, child abuse.
Brianna had 13 human bite marks all over her body and head. There were extensive injuries to her head and fatal injuries to her brain. She had bleeding in the brain as well as around the nerves of her eyes. Her skull was fractured in two places, there were two rib fractures, two more on the thigh bones of each of her legs, and a fracture to her left arm. She had also been raped by the ones who were supposed to take care of her, her father and uncle.
Brianna was a victim of child abuse, considered by many people as perhaps the worst case in New Mexico history. Her parents, Stephanie Lopez and Andy Walters, and an uncle, Steven Lopez were convicted and are in prison.
The abuse started almost immediately. Instead of hugs and kisses Brianna received slaps and pinches. She was tormented on a daily basis, both verbally and physically. Slapped, kicked, punched, pinched, thrown, raped, etc. You name it this infant endured it.

‘Illinois Miracle’ Disputed After Child-Abuse Cases

During a drug raid on the far South Side on Saturday, the police found a 3-year-old boy chained by the neck to a bed in a foster home where they also found cocaine, cannabis and unregistered firearms. On Friday, responding to a teacher’s aide’s report of child abuse, the police found six youngsters — all former wards of the state — locked in an unheated basement with no food or toilet and only a quilt and a few pillows to cover the concrete floor.

”It’s horrifying when we see a case like that, but that is not typical of foster care in Illinois,” said Martha Allen, chief of staff at the state’s Children and Family Services Department, whose inspector general is investigating the cases. ”Every now and again we have incidents where something bad has happened in a foster home — the answer can’t be, don’t put kids in foster homes anymore.”

Children’s Bureau 2011 – Child Maltreatment in the U.S.

Selected Maltreatment Types of Victims by Age, 2012

Age    Med Nglct   Nglct      Physical      Psych        Sexual = (x6)

<1–2     5,212       157,713         30,689      12,371     1,660 x6 = 9,960

3–5       2,456       111,770          21,327      11,518    8,802 x6 = 52,812

6–8       2,157        88,314          20,883     10,331   10,827 x6 = 64,962

9–11      1,925        68,383          17,619      9,280   11,600 x6 = 69,600

12–14    2,097        58,491          18,308      8,229   16,560 x6 = 99,360

15–17    1,806        44,800         14,887       5,936   13,133 x6 = 78,798

(x6) 1AIn 2012 during the increase measure of concern about sexual assault, Congress released a statement –  ‘For every 1 report of sexual assault that is made, at least 6 others are not’ – This statement was confirmed by Congressman John Shimkus, Sept 03, 2015

According to DHS breakdown of this report into National Children’s Bureau FFY 2011

  • More than 75 percent (78.5%) suffered neglect
  • More than 15 percent ( 17.6%) suffered physical abuse
  • Confirmed reports provide (9.1%) suffered sexual abuse – remember X6 Rule

The National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System (NCANDS) report for FFY 2011 reflects the following breakdown in perpetrators:

A) Parents of child = 80.8%

B) Other Relative    =   5.9%   

C) Parent Partner    =  4.4%

D) Other Known      =  4.5%

**E) Stranger Danger =  2.1%**

Parents, Parental Partner & Other Close Relative = 91.1% of all maltreatment offenses

Female Offenders = 53.6%              Male Offenders = 45.1%

Age vs Offense

Children ages 1-6 are most often victims of physical abuse & neglect. Mothers are most likely to be the offenders

Children ages 6-15 are most often targets of sexual abuse, and sex trafficking. Reports in these files show MALES make up 94% of recorded sexual offenders. However history shows that Mothers are not commonly suspected; in truth many are compliant in sexual harm of their children, which occurs for various reasons.

**MOLESTATION LEAVES NO PHYSICAL SIGNS!! Molestation can occur at any age, even though we never want to consider our partner or a parent (or an older child) of committing such a heinous act. The signs of molestation are simply severe irritation of the genital area, rash around mouth, or other uncommon types of signs. Spotting molestation requires understanding age appropriate behaviors & interactions with others

Illinois Statutes – 

Confirmed Illinois Statutes:  720 ILCS –

* Child Physical Abuse – statute of limitations is only 1 year after 18th bday.

No SOL beyond age 18 for aggravated battery of a minor

* Physical Battery Against a child 13 & under- the crime can only be prosecuted if it is reported within 1-3 years of when the actual crime was committed.

* Sexual Abuse – Aggravated Criminal Sexual Assault (weapon display or threat) & Criminal Sexual Assault with a family member under the age of 18 or a non-family member under 18 in which case it was forced – 20 years after age of 18 is SOL.

* Involuntary Servitude/Sexual Servitude/Trafficking of a family member (720 5/10-9) – SOL 1 year after age of 18 only *** We have a proposal to extend this one. The trafficker can be charged for a sex crime – if they directly had sexual contact with the minor. But, if those who take part in sex acts cannot be found and prosecuted under sexual crimes…the trafficker goes free if we do not catch them within a year of the victim’s 18th birthday.

* Forfeiture Provision – There is some allowance for the abusers assets being taken away in order to care for the child, but no solid provisions.

Discussed with our local U.S. Attorney Office, Fairview Heights, Il – Sept 2015

There is no Federal Legislation in Illinois for grievous, sexual, trafficking/servitude acts against a child unless the victim is able to testify against their perpetrator. Tragically inability to understand, to verbalize in exact explanation to others as required by young victims, inability to feel safe, believing in the fear/threats/terror/torture; a young victim will never tell anyone about their harm.
Permit me to add a personal note here——
For the some 30,000 plus who have apparently either listened to my radio programs or read a previous post, know of a Social Media share about my case – This most recent personal interview with TV Producer/Toastmaster/Host – Ms. Rebecca Kimbel published Feb 1, 2016 – You will see extremely graphic and shocking photos of the scars I still carry physically from what I believe is the most grievous case of Child Destruction in Illinois; perhaps even across the country. As you will hear about some of the violently disturbing acts in Part 1 of this interview, Part 2 discusses PTSD; Community Abandonment; Participators in trafficking & public exploitation; more importantly what YOU need to be looking for in children around you right now.
RebeccaKimbel.com – Youtube Interview via Skype –
Part 1 ‘My Justice’ with Author Patricia McKnight https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqQ7e2564yU
Part 2 Healing from Child Sexual Abuse  https://youtu.be/QaexoCNqhcM
The Centers for Disease and Control estimate 1 in 4 homes dealing with some form of violent or sexual harm. A home inside every neighborhood and a family known by every small community. There are victims adult, teen, and young children in every walk of mankind. It is those who do not comprehend there is help available or that anyone will ever believe their dark statements, these are the WORST CASES OF CHILD ABUSE that will NEVER be known to mankind!!
Thank for reading, hopefully you’ll share….
Bravery, Strength, Courage, Freedom
Patricia A McKnight

There is absolutely nothing special about me….It’s about them

 

headshot

You have no idea how many times I’ve asked myself this question over the last five years. It has been day after day of questioning; ‘Trish, what in the hell makes you so damn special that you believe anything you have to say matters to anyone?”

I’m not anyone special at all. What have I done? I simply survived, studied, and personally worked through ten years of very challenging recovery processes to find out who I really am and then put myself back together into the person I wanted to represent and help others. Those years have not been easy, and many of the emotional challenges have been almost as difficult as the actual brutality I’ve managed to survive. This is what it takes though, nothing less; it absolutely has to be something you need to clean out of your system and recognize the broken pieces, then rebuild & repair what has been destroyed by the actions of others. Just because its very difficult however, does not mean it’s impossible. After all I’m still here and I’m still talking, still working it through challenge by challenge and so can you. There is nothing special about me.

Yes, what I went through was fierce, it was evil, it was outright brutal, but I know hundreds of others who have made it through these very same things. Some who I’ve helped to become marvelous advocates today and some who have helped me. This is how we manage to get through the tough days, simply helping and listening to each other.

Thank heaven for the internet and all that connects to bring our world so much closer together. Remember what it was like before; we were all struggling silently; wondering why and who in the world would ever believe what’s happened. It’s that simple.

Millions of people in every single generation have been the beaten, molested, raped, traded, used, and abandoned children. Millions of people in every generation have been the beaten down partners, wives or spouses of constantly unimaginable dominating persons who use their fists, their words, their financial power, their daily threats and desires to hold us down. The dominators who enforce (their way or no way) by means of constant terror, direct use of weapons, brutal violence beyond measure, rape, threats of death to control our silence and isolation; all of it to make certain there was never any prosecution for their crimes of harm and no one ever willing to believe how horrific the attacks were and all they had forced us to do during our entrapment. We lived through it without anyone to help us or encourage us to escape and help ourselves.

However, we can find our way to something better, something SAFE. We have all endured these monsters for different reasons, some for the welfare of shelter & support for our children, care for ourselves, for our survival. However, most importantly – if you are an adult, have the ability to work & support yourself, then you also have the ability to leave. You have the ability to simply walk out the door and never look back.

Yes, it is a damn hard choice to make because then you have to put your broken pieces back together again, but it is absolutely possible. It’s hard because you have to find a job to secure your life and (if you have children) you are now the primary provider for all of their needs. In today’s world that is not an easy thing to do and almost impossible if you haven’t had a chance to build a career, get an adequate education, or handle a checkbook, balance a budget; basically you have to be strong enough everyday to bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, put dinner on the table, and before you can rest you, have to help with homework, bathe and tuck your children gently and reassuringly into bed. Each morning you have to wake up and do it all over again, but this is what we call LIFE; it is what is expected of us and it is damn difficult if your inner self is reeling from the previous trauma, fear, and pain you had to live through. Survival damn sure is not easy for anyone, no matter what kind of trauma, but for a silenced, terrorized, trafficked, and continuously raped child, survival can be almost impossible until we put ourselves back together again. 

I’ve been that broken disaster of a person, going through my breakdown and rebuilding myself while providing a home, food, shelter, and fun for three incredible children. I’ve done it not just once, but more like four or five different times. Suddenly having to run to save my life; leaving with absolutely nothing or being kicked out and having my children stolen from me. The key to my making it through is nothing spectacular, I simply never ever gave up. I just woke up, put myself together to face the day’s challenges, and then before walking out the door, staring in the mirror as I gave myself a pep talk…..

‘It’ll be alright Trish. You’ve survived this far, and you can do this. You have to do this. Get through today and then handle tomorrow’s problems tomorrow. Just smile and go take care of it. Girl you’ve done it before; today just might be a little bit better.’

This is how I managed to handle more than thirty years of insane murderous attacks all committed by one evil monster after another. The reason I went through so many men & three husbands, hellish violence, pain, and terror; this was my developed sense of normal. I was told almost daily from about age nine, I wasn’t worth having; there is not a single person who wants a whore for his wife, so the only thing I had was what my stepfather and all those different men did to me on a regular basis. It changed my thoughts about myself, destroyed any sense of self appreciation or respect; the only thing I would ever be was ‘Malcolm’s trained and terrorized whore’. This is all I ever knew and sadly, if they weren’t beating on me then they must not actually care about me. If they didn’t insist on this type of sex, or this type of perfection, this type of cooking and caring about meeting every single need they had; then they must not care one single bit and I must be doing everything wrong.

Yeah, this was my idea of normal life; each of my relationships built from degradation, control, and constant brutal beatings. It must be because I’m ugly, just like they always said. All of those who approached me for a relationship, all from ‘good standing’ families, but each time they started beating on me, it always involved smashing my face in the mirror and yelling at me because no matter how clean I was, how skinny I was, and how sexy I tried to be; the greatest problem of all was my scarred up  skin and my broken black holed rotted teeth. Hell, I still see this reflection in the mirror everyday.

It’s not like I can get complete plastic surgery of new skin, or spend $10,000.00 on a new smile. This is the part of me as a child, which my mother didn’t give a crap about, nor did she ever take me in for medical or dental care. To be quite honest she didn’t consider me to be anything except her housekeeper, cook, caregiver, and the child forced to play out the sick deviate behaviors of the man she chose to marry and stay with, regardless of what he ever did to me. This is the part of me my parents and the town of Freeburg all allowed to rot as it destroyed the outer beauty of a young prepubescent little girl.

I remember the times for school pictures or trying to impress a cute boy I like, this is when I squished up small pieces of bread to use as fillings for the black holes of my front teeth. Actually I hoped; perhaps my smile would look somewhat like everyone else’s, but it never did. Hell, not a single part of me to this very day looks like anyone else I’ve ever met, Sadly it’s just something I’ve always had to live with and try to cover up as I went through life. You should have seen the way people judged me, considered whether or not to hire me. Could they put someone who looked like me in direct contact with their customers or clients? Would people be shocked or sickened by the way I looked, regardless of how skilled or perfecting I was at my job, there would always be those glaring looks of disgust. It’s brings to surface the anger over how so many adults and small town kids all looked away and whispered about the little girl who couldn’t seem to find a single soul who gave a crap about what was happening to her each and every day. They all simply figured I wasn’t worth their time or concern; I was the 13 year old child tagged with the title ‘Village Whore’. Girls were not allowed to hang out with me and the local boys were not allowed to date me. I was nothing but HIS garbage child!!!

Yes its tragic, but its something I’ve had to accept. Do you have any idea what it’s like to have children stare at you like you’ve got a third eye; to have other women sit there and whisper about you as you tried to work with them; to never ever allow your husband or special someone to caress your legs or arms; to cringe away at their touch, afraid all anyone would ever see is the ugly destruction I am forced to carry with me every single moment of my life.  Yes it was hell, and it still is; even my grandchildren have rubbed my arms, questioning what happened. Hundreds of people have stared at me with that horrific shock on their face, especially when they see me smile.

This is a part of my life that no one else experiences. This is the part that hurts my heart and makes me wonder what the hell it was about me that no one ever cared to question the many years of filth, rot, and infection they watched destroy the outside body of a young girl. Today I think back about the many schoolmates and husbands of my mother’s friends, or coworkers from the mine; all those many who felt up, played with, or paid a few bucks to see just how far she would go, especially if  my constant threatening and brutal attacking ‘terrorist’ was right there to make sure I completed the ordered and paid for deed. The thrill he got talking about all the gory details of the many private parties he arranged with the local boys. All the vicious disregard in using the filthy, rotting, child as their toy to do with as they please anytime time they wished. None of my pain, sadness, fear ever mattered, it’s just what was my life and I simply had to live it; just hoping everyday I would somehow get away and they would never be in charge of what or how I did things ever again. This was my only goal, this was my dream and although it simply has to be an acceptance of the parts of me ALMOST destroyed.

I’m still here, I’m still alive, and I’m telling all the secrets.

The reasons that I discuss all of this is because I’m watching the ongoing emotional destruction which is hurting my daughters and messing up the safety of my grandchildren. I am sick to my stomach with worry and concern for their wellbeing, but not a single person seems to care. Not one person I’ve tried to beg for help, investigation, or even helping my daughters to help themselves and change the path for their children; no matter how loud I am or how obnoxious I have been with phone calls and emails, still no one is helping the lives of these children.

In truth there are over 3.5 million reports of child harm every year in our country alone.

Every day at least 1 in 9 children are suffering in sexual harm and possible secret trafficking by a person within their family.

Every day at least 1 in 3 children are suffering in physical harm, most of them are between the ages of 0 to 15 years old, both boys and girls, but suffering in an ongoing acceptance of family harm, which not even our government wants to get involved to truly help protect them.

It is our greatest human tragedy and something which will continue, like my life, my children’s lives, and now my grandchildren; this same generational pattern will also invade your family and grandchildren until we use our strength as a united human society to make our legislative leaders and law enforcement do their job; give the terrorized child victims the right to be SAFE which is written into our laws and in our Universal Human Rights. Crimes like these, the most evil and grievous harms against the youngest of our society; these are a terroristic control and brutal destruction which must be ended if we are to ever begin the change in respecting ALL human life as deserved. There is not one single human being any better than another. Not one child who is more worth saving than others. Not one community riddled with suffering that isn’t worth helping.

There must be a deterrent for these types of crimes. There must be a criminal prosecution and a sense of justice for all those generations of millions of destroyed and murdered children. There must be a way to balance our system and protect the given Civil & Human Rights to be protected as equal under the eyes of our laws. How can we continue to watch as our children, their children, and the next generation simply keep exploding in violence and brutalizing each other? What will it take for us to help these kids before it is too late and we have an entire generation once again left to suffer, left to be sold, traded, used, and beaten; left to be destroyed because our society is not yet ready to admit just how evil it can become within the sanctity of our home. We all see it everyday, the extreme bullying at school, the violence, the guns, the need to have power over others, and the gangs waiting to suck up the lost souls using them and selling them, beating them down however they wish, and then all of us stand around talking about; ‘Why in the hell can’t we do something to stop this? Dammit each of us can do something, we just have to take on the responsibility and do it!!!

I don’t know about you, but as being one of those forgotten rotting children, it absolutely disgusts me that so many powerful adults are only willing to do so much to help those abandoned and throw away children, but if it is a child in a home; rather than provide a way to get help, we all just turn away because it is the way it’s always been. I believe it’s time to change what we are used to accepting as our normal. I believe that if WE do not take on this responsibility, and all we do is talk about the outside dangers against us, then our children will grow up asking; ‘How in the hell could you just simply stand there and watch me die?”

If you are ready to do something, help out any service you can across the country and in your community. If you are ready to ask for a Federal Legislative Policy to get involved and end this vicious human destruction held secret and private within our homes, then help me and my two incredible partners (Ms Lisa Chilton & Ms. Dana Pfeiffer) as we try to get a voice heard for these types of terrorized victims, in the proposal of the;

‘Family Crimes and Terroristic Abuse Act’ – You each have the power to do something in your family circle, but also you can insist our government get involved when it comes to the extreme dangers that harm the most precious of our society, the victims without a way to escape or help themselves, the victims who are 15 years old or younger and completely dependent upon the adults around them and our society to make sure their right to be safe, and provided with a decent influence of life moving forward; we are here begging you to get involved and help us today to ensure that NOT ANOTHER SINGLE CHILD BE FORCED OR ABANDONED TO LIVE IN THESE TYPES OF TERRORISTIC HARM.

Thank you for every share you give this message, every signature you can rally on this petition, and most of all every discussion you can inspire to help our teens begin to see how they can protect the beauty of human life, rather than hate and destroy it.

Trish, Dana, Lisa

https://www.change.org/p/family-crimes-and-terroristic-abuse-act-amending-prosecution-amp-policy-provisions-in-crimes-of-family-related-exploitation-trafficking-extreme-acts-of-grievous-bodily-injury-threats-to-create-a-believed-sense-of-certain-death-terroristic-violence

Voices InJustice Radio – School is back in session – Education in America 08/16 by Voices InJustice Radio | Current Events Podcasts

Voices InJustice Radio – School is back in session – Education in America 08/16 by Voices InJustice Radio | Current Events Podcasts.

Set your reminder friends, TEACHERS, PARENTS & TEENS – You’re invited to join in as we open the discussion about our American Educational System!! What are your concerns as kids return to school? Are their Racial Issues; Low Income Meals; After School Activities; Are kids getting a positive learning environment with the support from teachers & school officials? Do you worry about teachers possibly harming or sexually approaching your child? Would they tell you if it happened? School Violence is on the increase and today’s children deal with constant harassment, bullying, and online condemnation everyday. Their struggles today are unlike any other generation, are you prepared and do you have a relationship which encourages your child or teen to openly discuss their challenges? JoinPatricia A. Mcknight live Sunday evening at 9pm central time for your Voices InJustice discussing our American School Systems. Don’t forget to invite your friends & family to call in live or join the chatroom discussion. There’s a lot we need to address to ensure ALL CHILDREN & FAMILIES are given the open support they deserve to protect our children’s education. Looking forward to hearing music by Marc Joseph Ludeman!!!

Won’t you be sure to join us??

My Justice – Patricia A. McKnight : AuthorHouse

My Justice – Patricia A. McKnight : AuthorHouse.

Get your copy of ‪#‎MyJustice‬ thru most online resources. Your story may not be the one to make it big, but consider why your writing it in the first place. I’m amazed at the hundreds who have changed their lives, found courage to seek help and speak up. This true horrible story sadly still impacts my grandchildren’s lives. It’s not about making it big, it’s about making it end!

Honestly I’m quite stunned by the way this story has made it so far. College courses, outstanding five star reviews, and absolutely incredible press articles shared across the country. From New York to Australia, to the U.K. and in the San Francisco Journal. Even more important for me are all those persons who read this and then passed it on to someone still lost in the pain and silence. Find your voice, share your story, it will touch someone’s heart somewhere. xoxoxo Trish

Family Crimes….Our greatest human tragedy

Hello Friends – **IMPORTANT** A HUMAN PROTECTIVE RIGHTS OUTCRY!!

Today we ask our Federal Justice System & Human Rights Protections to be our most crucial point of concern. What is it like when the only TERRORIST a child knows lives inside their home? Help our human society end this centuries old issue of

FAMILY CRIMES & TERRORISTIC ABUSE!!  https://www.change.org/p/let-s-make-all-sexually-related-acts-against-a-minor-a-federal-offense-and-allow-a-three-step-review-of-all-child-maltreatment-reports

Will you please pass this to your circles and help us gather a huge political issue to protect the most basic of every persons human right –

THE RIGHT TO BE SAFE IN OUR PERSON;

          free from harm & free from fear of harm!! Written into law Dec 1948 –

United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

FFY 2011 CHILDREN’S BUREAU NUMBERSStats to be SAFE

Age vs Abuse

Stats Offenders

Right this moment the children around the world & children in our very own families need your most desperate help please. Four incredibly strong voices in South-Central Illinois; are working on awareness conferences at Lindenwood University, U of I Springfield University, Springfield ‘Stop the Traffic Conference, Vandalia Child Trafficking Prevention Conference, and lining up more as they come in. We are begging for our friends to assist with spreading the word across the United States; we want a Federal Review to address the constant pandemic numbers which affect & murder our children everyday.

These photos, part of Family Crimes Presentation, are just the basic information researched. Have you looked at your states numbers? This is the complete breakdown of National Child Maltreatment Reports & Dispositions FFY 2011. This is a special report taken directly from the Children’s Bureau, as recorded into our National Child Abuse and Neglect Data Systems (NCANDS) – Personally researched and broken down for you here in specific numbers. Please see how serious our numbers really are. In 2011 Child Deaths from physical abusive harm or neglect of care – 1576 RECORDED CHILD MURDERS as a result of direct parental/family responsibility . Today we ask our Federal Justice System & Human Rights Protections to be our most crucial point of concern. What is it like when the only TERRORIST a child knows lives inside their home? 

In the United States the greatest numbers of Domestic Child Sex Trafficking begins withing the close family unit, most often a parent/step parent/guardian of care.

TraffickingServitudePic

Thank you,
Dana, Trish, Lisa, Gregory

Voices InJustice Radio & Fierce Redemption Talk Radio Programming
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/voicesinjustice

©Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Nov 2012 – Nov 2015

Get acquainted with Founder/Creator/Author: ‘My Justice”

Family Violence Specialist/Empowerment Speaker/Talk Radio Producer & Host

PATRICIA A. McKNIGHT – http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com/home_tmp_6314.html#.VbuPpMBViko

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