The truth about child protective services

Good Morning Everyone,
 
I live in Southern Illinois and have been a key voice these past three years in updating our Statute of Limitations for Sex Crimes & Trafficking Against Children. In this is a proposal presented and discussed with many of our political officials. The process of the Child Protective Investigation has been going through public destruction amid resignation of Director George Sheldon, Illinois Child Protective Services who stated after a recent toddler death:
“There are significant issues we’re still dealing with and these child deaths are an example of that,” he tells WGN News. “Mistakes were made. There’s no question about that.” Mistakes that may have factored into Semaj’s death include a lack of communication within the department. “There were at least four or five protective investigators that visited that home. But was there communication between them… That’s what we’ve got to deal with.”
Illinois has seen at least five different directors in approximately 6 years and none have been held accountable for the severe lack of investigation and appropriate services, as well as the Federal Guidelines for Requirements to Remove a Child. Parents know how to work this system. Family turn away and feel they can help in other ways or simply do nothing at all. The kids who age out of the system have no idea how to function and continuously find it more and more difficult to find help in life skills and employment to secure their survival. Nothing can be more distressing to a country as a whole than the complete disregard and maltreatment of our nation’s children.
 
For these past three years I’ve been rejected time and again on this issue and updating a system across the country that provides the intervention to keep families together, but most importantly investigates every report thoroughly with every child having the right to have their voice encouraged and supported. No one knows better than that child what is really happening inside their home. It is time to stop silencing endangered children to protect their abusers. The healthy solution is for the parents to undergo required parenting classes, mental health evaluation, find resource that will actually help with housing, employment, education, life skills. It’s time to ensure that all of America’s Children and the children around the world do not have to TELL SEVEN ADULTS ABOUT THEIR ABUSE BEFORE THEY HOPEFULLY FIND ONE WHO WILL LISTEN, BELIEVE THEM, AND HELP THEM.
 
Please see the guidelines and numbers to justify the need for these changes by reviewing the attached documents containing the full proposal and research shared with Illinois Congressmen & State Level Legislative Members. Here you will see it as ‘Trecia Law’ Family Crimes & Terroristic Abuse – I honestly do not care what it’s titled as long as we enforce some of these strategies in helping our children.
 

1) Amend Child Maltreatment Investigation to require reported maltreatment of any person 15 years or younger, in acts of sexual, physical, verbal harm, use of or threat with weapon, drugs, alcohol, exploitation, trafficking, neglecting basic needs of shelter, food, education, medical, dental,or mental health necessities. These reports against young persons shall be completed by a

  • (Three Stage Review Process)
  •      A = Call Intake Recorder
  •      B = Local County Forensic Investigator
  •      C = County Director/Supervisor Final Disposition

2) Begin updated training to understand ‘terroristic trauma’ and the terrorized child victim. ALL FIRST RESPONDERS/MANDATED REPORTERS/FORENSIC INVESTIGATORS or other necessary key professionals who interact with families and children to better assist in spotting a terrorized silenced victim and/or possible trafficked child.

3) Provide recovery support to meet needs of the victim for a period up to 5 years; beginning and ongoing from the investigation or implemented protection of victim. (Education and Recovery focus to assist in self sufficient life skills preparedness, home and parenting awareness, health care and family building blocks.)

4) Public School System education and prevention strategies educating all children within each school system to understand their individual rights to life, liberty and safety, even within their home and family relationships; also provide grades 4 through 12 instructions for reporting violations of another person’s individual rights to be safe. (training to report will aid to reduce school violence, bullying, abuse, gang or family related violence)

5) Engage a Community Response Teamwithin every police department across the country; providing involved education and prevention strategies to better understand Warning Signs & Reporting Guidelines when abuse, violence, trafficking or other types of harm occur within our neighborhoods and families.

**Note: these changes in our prosecutorial and civil remedies are to protect and educate about the types of terroristic personal attacks, specifically against  minor children, without regard to familial, foster, or governing state custody or residence location.

 
The United Nations General Assembly wrote into law; The Universal Declaration of Human Rights
 
 
Article 3.
Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.
Article 4.
No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms.
Article 5.
No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.
 

We need to ensure that every human being is provided these basic equalities regardless of age, race, religion, economical, geographical, or political status. We’ve had too many generations of our human race destroyed and harmed throughout centuries by acts committed by those closest to them. It is time that we unite as one human race to protect the rights and freedoms of all in our world. If we cannot ensure the wellbeing and healthy freedoms from harm and the fear of harm for our children, then who have we become today? I thought we were supposed to be the smartest species on the planet. The most basic truths have been buried and disregarded so that others become more powerful and walk without guilt or shame for their crimes. It is in our modern day society that we know more than ever before, have a decade of data by national leading health and human services organizations; CDC, National Institute of Health, National Institute of Mental Health, National Child Traumatic Stress Network and many others. We know the ugliness and sorrows for any human being trying to survive each day in these heinous crimes, yet we rarely actually protect and hear our most vulnerable; those too little to fight back, too young to fully understand, too easily controlled and manipulated by those who they depend on for their very life.

We all must continue our great works together. If we are carrying our own agendas then there are no laws or guidelines that will help our human change. These are taught beliefs and behaviors passed down through generations and only by committing ourselves as a more informed and stronger human society can we fully expect for our children to continue learning or living in any other form.
 
I pray all of us here at NAASCA and other leaders around the world will find a way to create this new path for our children.
Respectfully,
Trish McKnight
“Always believe anything is possible with you in the active equation of life” ~~ trish 
Patricia A McKnight

New Direct Email: p.mcknight@charter.net

Midwest Regional Ambassador DirectorNAASCA.org
IL Cert DV & CA Advocate
IL Cert Human Trafficking Trainer
Panel Member DV Offender Education Program of St Clair County
Family Trauma, Child Sexual Abuse & Rural Trafficking Specialist
Mentor/Speaker/Support Resource Provider
 
Author; ‘My Justice
Amazon/Barne’s & Noble/Authorhouse
Ebook, Kindle, Nook, Paperback
 
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cropped-bnd11.jpg  It’s been a three year battle here in Illinois, but finally Gov Rauner now has two bills SB189 Sex Crime Against Children Statute of Limitations & SB1842 Involuntary Servitude of a Child & Trafficking in Persons Statute of Limitations updates. Thankfully Rep Jay Hoffman never gave up and stayed determine. Thankfully AG Madigan created update “Hastert Law” Criminal Sexual Abuse & Criminal Sexual Assault of a child. I’m truly grateful to have been a part of these updates. I know it will help many survivors who choose to seek justice.

Going public in your local area to seek justice takes great courage, especially when these offenses are grievous and terroristic. The crucial part is that we are finally recognizing the longterm effect and providing time for the adult person to process what’s happened, put their many shattered pieces back together and then make the best decision for them. Not all have felt relief when facing their childhood offender in the courtroom, it doesn’t change what they did or the way it changed your path, but it should always be the choice of the once victim to decide.

I am a strong, outspoken, determined survivor, National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse, Midwest Regional Ambassador; Speaker, Trainer, Mentor, Resource, Researcher and Author. It’s so important we continue to get this news out there. If we cannot make hearing about these crimes, either through news or TV programming; will the victims ever feel like they can come forward and be supported rather than condemned and judged. If we are going to change this learned human behavior against others, against children; we have to be willing to address the issue head on, with the support network ready to heal wounded parents so we can raise healthier children with a more positive family influence.

Right now it is an estimated $150 Billion per year Taxpayer Burden in the lifetime recovery of victims; Education, Employment, Addictions, Medical & Mental Health, Early Disability, Independent Living Challenges. These are the services needed to clean up the mess of a destroyed human being. If we intervene early and provide the appropriate services per the individual and family needs, then we provide a healthier path and a more positive possible individual success; thus drastically lowering the longterm financial burden of recovery. The longer a person lives in a harmful environment the more likely they are to act out against others, use drugs, early pregnancy, state assistance, low level employment. I believe in the quote: “It is more difficult to rebuild a broken adult than it is to raise a healthy child’

Here’s hoping that more education in the Trauma Informed Response & Care; we can empower others to influence victims to stop their own personal cycle from their past trauma and then encourage the communities to provide needed services. As a Human Initiative we can finally make a difference in the historically taught harmful and destructive actions against others, but alone we can only hope to empower a few.

Thank you Representative Jay Hoffman & AG Lisa Madigan for staying determined. Thank you to all the House & Senate leaders who voted to finally update our Statute of Limitations for these offenses. It will not do anything for my case, but I’m certain it will assist many others just by giving them a chance to cope through all that’s happened. Finally we are announcing to those who have abused or trafficked a child; you can be brought to justice at any time; states across the country are updating their statutes and how they prosecute these heinous crimes against children.

Rep Jay Hoffman Press Release SB1842 – Involuntary Servitude of a Child & Trafficking in Persons…….

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
June 21, 2017 State Rep. Jay Hoffman
618-416-7407

Hoffman Passes Legislation to Crack Down on Human Trafficking of Minors

SPRINGFIELD, Ill. – Under legislation passed by state Rep. Jay Hoffman, D-Swansea, individuals suspected human traffickers will no longer be able to evade prosecution in cases involving minors due to a technicality in the law.

“Many victims of human trafficking do not have the support structures intact to be able to seek prosecution within a year of turning 18, putting them at an extreme disadvantage,” Hoffman said. “To think that the criminals who commit these horrible acts can get off due to a technicality in the law is unconscionable.”

Hoffman’s measure, Senate Bill 1842, increases the amount of time that a prosecutor has to bring charges against the perpetrator of these heinous crimes. Under current law, prosecutors only have one year after they turn 18 to file charges, Hoffman’s legislation increases that to 25 years.

“The children who are victims of these crimes will deal with a lifetime of trauma and suffering,” said Patricia McKnight, child trafficking survivor and Midwest Regional Director with the National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse. “We need to be doing everything we can to make sure victims see the perpetrators of these heinous crimes brought to justice and this proposal will help make that happen.”

Senate Bill 1842 passed the House and the Senate is currently waiting to be signed into law by the governor.

###

Patricia A McKnight
NAASCA.org

Illinois is going the extra step for Human Trafficking Victims Under 18

Readers it is finally here, something which myself and many supportive colleagues have been focusing on for three years; updating Statute of Limitations for Child Sex Trafficking. The one person who is really doing the hard work in making this a reality is

Illinois State House Representative Jay Hoffman (D) Swansea. Jay_Hoffman_Headshot(1)_Web

The first fact I need every reader and leader to understand is that there is one particular misperception about the real crime of child sex trafficking in America; more often than not it is a parent or guardian who is exploiting or trafficking the child. This is a horrible fact I’m asking you to consider, but in Small Town America we usually don’t see Pimps, Working Girls on Street Corners, or the ‘Johns’ circling the block in their vehicles. We don’t have the inner city crime areas where others drive by picking and choosing from those standing almost naked in the freezing cold at three in the morning. We don’t have gangs of kids pushing drugs from the projects. We rarely have common acts of vandalism in the thousands of ‘safe’ communities across the country.

It is because we believe in the ‘safety’ of these communities that we don’t think about what happens inside the house or apartment or trailer next door. We figure our neighbors are all very ‘GOOD’ people because we see them at the grocery store, we see them at picnics, we see them at church, and our kids go to school with their kids, play school sports together, or hang out at the public pool together. However, let me be perfectly clear when I share a few more facts with you.

Children’s Bureau, National Child Abuse and Neglect Data Systems 2011- 1 in 9 confirmed cases of child sexual abuse.

Centers for Disease 2013 estimates 1 in 4 children living with maltreatment or abuse in America

National Human Trafficking Resource Center confirms 70% of Prostitutes reported Child Sexual Harm

NO PERSON DREAMS OF BEING A PROSTITUTE WHEN THEY GROW UP – this is something that is done out of survival; either being forced by control and threats or physical harm by someone or the aftermath destruction of leaving an abusive home and a life influenced by drugs, degradation, and sex.

I was born in small town rural America, raised in these ‘safe’ communities, and grew up to become a wife and mother living within a ‘safe’ suburb so my children could be safe. Most in the town of Freeburg knew my mother and stepfather well; they each had their own reputations. My stepfather the violent and depraved alcoholic and my mother playing the poor victim and woman who had to tolerate him as a husband.

This was not the truth, or at least about my mother anyway. My mother pretty much handed me over to Malcolm like a piece of property she signed over in a prenuptial agreement. By the time I was ten he could dominate me, stalk me, molest me, and then started using me and sharing me with other men that he knew or worked with at the local coal mine. Sometimes he took me to the area bar and pawned me off for a couple glasses of beer, other times he took me to private locations with more than one or two men involved. Mother allowed him to take me along on their dates and then use me as bait to lure some guy in who would by our table drinks and dance with her as she allowed her husband to rub himself against me on a public dance floor. She permitted him to enter me into some bathing beauty ‘Miss Peabody’ pageant at thirteen and then started allowing him to invite five or more men over for late-night parties with alcohol, weed, and porn; entertained by her young daughter as she lay in her room watching TV or reading a book.

My mother was not threatened to allow any of this, in fact Malcolm would have and did do anything my mother requested. Yes, he was a very mean drunk, but not once did I ever hear him so much as raise his voice at her, much less threaten her or dominate her. If the things she permitted to happen to me would have been something he did to her, and if she was treated with such constant control and physical violence; if any of the cruelties against her middle daughter would have been committed against her I know she would have moved on to the next man who was willing to take care of her.

This is how most cases of Rural Area Child Sex Trafficking in America really happens and the escalation of cruelty that encircles the life of these young victims. As children they don’t quite understand what or why these horrible terrifying things are happening and it will probably take decades before they can finally process all the darkness and distortions caused by the parent or parents responsible for their care; for giving them life, but destroying their spirit. These young persons, who can be of any age, are used, shared, sold and bartered for shelter, drugs, and possibly even money. It happened in my case and I know a couple hundred adult survivors and rescued teens who have endured these small town secret crimes without help or hope, just trying to make it through so they can get big enough to escape.

These are the types of offenses we must stand strong against as communities. We must rally our law enforcement, our healthcare providers, our educators, and our neighbors to be a voice for a child or a family in distress. The internal suffering of these silenced and ignored young victims is a haunting with repercussions that affect many aspects of their forming and adult life patterns and behaviors, which then becomes a burden to citizens by the estimated $145 Billion per year economic deficit to provide recovery and rebuilding services, along with many other challenges.

    • Employment Difficulties
    • Mental, Dental, and Medical Healthcare
    • Early Disability from PTSD, Depression, Permanent Injury
    • Immediate & Longterm Life Skills & Recovery Support
    • Criminal Justice & Legal Services
    • Homelessness & Shelter Services
    • Addictions & Self Harming Behaviors

Way too often and much too common, as discussed with a few hundred advocates & survivors; the guilt and shame of these brutal acts is like a brainwashing, ‘training’, ‘conditioning’ that our adult relationships are challenged and our families suffer as they see the emotional turmoil roll through like an evil snake of destruction. We stand for the rights of so many different causes today; Rights for LGBTQ, Muslims, Christians, Animals, and Trees – it’s time to stand up for the Rights & Safety of our American Children.

VOTING – YES for HB3629 – Illinois becomes one of the many states updating Criminal & Civil Statutes for the crime of Human Trafficking, Trafficking in Persons, Involuntary Servitude of a Child, Involuntary Sexual Servitude of a Minor. By voting YES – HB3629 we give these young victims time to grow so they understand what happened, time to heal from the layers of trauma, time to actually accept what their parent or caretaker has done or allowed others to do against them.

Child Voices; we all can speak for someone

Trecia Ann  “This is me…..the five year old who first met Malcolm, was first attacked by Malcolm, and never heard Mona say I love you again. From this point forward nothing would be safe for a very long time. This girl has made one hell of a journey. I’m surprised and grateful for the blessings of life, love, friendship and family who have been there and are with me now, unashamed and proud of this incredible little girl. She is truly happy today”–Patricia A. Mcknight

In complete openness, it took forty years before I could think about the courage and strength of this little girl. The battle lines always changed, but without a doubt home was the most dangerous place in the world. The crimes against her were many and involved years of horrific violence and being used, traded, sold by the two people who were supposed to protect her. They didn’t ignore or neglect her younger sister or her older brother, so why did they both decide that this little girl didn’t matter to anyone?

Way too often we hear someone say; ‘Why doesn’t anyone do something about those people?’ Usually they are talking about the family living in poverty who doesn’t meet the local standards of the community, but this is simply our negative judgment of others. We don’t know what goes on in their home or inside the $2Million dollar home a few blocks away. Sure the chances are greater that someone is getting hurt inside this poverty stricken home, but perhaps it is just a financial inability to provide for the family? Be very cautious because it is that financial hardship that can lead to years of nightmarish disgust for a child.

Granted it could be attributed to a lot of different negative influences, but the reality is our children are being used, bought, traded, shared as if they are some type of commodity. Perhaps it is addiction and violence only between the parents? Perhaps their economic suffering has lead them to do something they never believed they would do, and probably wouldn’t do in their sober stable mind, but in distress and looking for another fix could mean they commit the most heinous of all acts; they offer their child for the price of another fix, for a few extra drinking dollars, or maybe a single parent looking for shelter allows a predator to take ownership of their child so the parent does not have to worry about providing a home on their own? It happens in all sorts of ways and for all different types of reasons, and still it seems we cannot get our governments to unite around the world to combat and change the idea of value for our innocent children.

I’ve seen child trafficking happen in many ways and I’ve heard account after account of these most violating acts from one incredible survivor after another. It seems the one thing all of the survivors and maybe even the victims today have in common – there is always someone in the tight family circle who knows what really happens. There are those who hear of the child whose parents or guardian will trade them for a few bucks or just because they want to give you something special. We hear of those in the community who then say; ‘I knew something was going on in there”. Despite these people who live beside these types of offenders and those who know because the child has been offered to them; yet somehow no one ever reports their suspicions, even when they watch it go on for years and witness her battles of being beaten and dragged along the street. Maybe the law enforcement in the local town know the talk through the community about why other parents will not let their children around this home. The parents who tell their daughters to stay away and their sons not to date her. ‘She is that rotting stench covered girl that I hear is doing it with anyone!!” Even though she is only thirteen or fifteen years old, still no one ever reports the rumors of the late night parties, her going in and out of the camper with men, pornography blaring on the television, and drunken teenagers stumbling around the yard.

It doesn’t matter and it’s not my business; these are the two greatest reasons that children suffer so badly.

Right now in Illinois our legislators are avoiding a very important bill which would update Illinois Statute of Limitations for these types of crimes. House Representative Jay Hoffman drafted the bill under a proposal I’ve been working on for three years. I’ve seen it get to a House Bill Number before and I’ve seen it get lost in the residue of Illinois Budget Crisis, but sadly it is never discussed again. What is so difficult when our society and our legislative leaders should all be very much for these updates. Illinois is one of the few remaining states who have not addressed or updated their ONE YEAR AFTER VICTIM’S 18TH BIRTHDAY current statute, which has allowed predators and traffickers to walk away without fear of ever being held accountable for their violations and slavery of a child. Enough with this already. ‘Trecia Ann’ and millions like her are talking, writing, interviewing, but nothing ever changes. What will it take before it is considered a priority by our leaders?

I’m asking anyone who knows or loves a child who MAY be in danger to give your voice to them now. I am asking anyone who loves an adult survivor of these types of degrading traumas to speak up for them now. I am asking survivors to share their childhood photo which is their voice of that once silenced child; the child who endured and tried to maneuver through the constantly changing rules which always surround the life and behavior of an abused or trafficked child.

Together every one of us has a valued voice and should use it now in this greatest time of human concern for our society. When we can provide a path to safety and justice for our children, then we can say we have done something to help prevent the cycle of human conditioning of violence and the destruction which haunts the millions of silenced children around the world!!!

Please comment below and add your child photo for the voice you are speaking for today!!!

**Always believe anything is possible with you in the active equation of life** ~~ trecia ann

PLEASE PASS “TRECIA ANN” AROUND THE WORLD!!! MAKE OUR GOVERNMENTS LISTEN TO YOUR LITTLE VOICE. Thank you!!!

Patricia A McKnight

www.yourvoiceradio.one

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Author: ‘My Justice’

Who I am today

 

miracles-happen  “I’m not feeling sorry for myself, so please don’t pity me, it really just makes the situation worse. What I need is to know that something I say or do or write will help you support someone whose been harmed, as well as prevent or intervene when something happens in your circle today.”

Over the past ten years I’ve been on a reality mission to figure out who I am, without focusing on what has been done to influence my past beliefs and behaviors. Learning about the aftermath of my personal war and the influence I have left on those I treasure most. This is not an easy process and one which comes and goes in different situations and challenges as I get stronger and learn more about myself and the actions of others; all resulting in who I am today.

My idea of self appreciation and self worth was never developed because I was put in my place, and lived in the example of who THEY thought I was or the value I carried as a person. Tragically, just in America, we have 3.7+ Million children still living in those same types of environments today. Even worse is that myself and millions of others know exactly who that child might become tomorrow, especially if they are not given help or have at least one positive person who gives them something more to believe in and seek to achieve a greater good.

My stepfather, Malcolm White, was truly walking evil; to me he was and always will be the devil himself. In fact, he used to quote; ‘Heaven doesn’t want me and the Devil is afraid I’ll take over’. I knew in my heart that he would definitely kick the Devil’s ass and de-throne him without an ounce of effort. However ridiculous as it might sound, I am still afraid of his ghost some six years or more after his death. I can still feel him lurking around like an animal after his most favorite prey. I can’t sleep for more than three or four hours at any one time, then suddenly I’m shocked awake and for a split second I’m still in harms way, even though I truly am not.

For Malcolm, the violent molesting attacks that began before he married my mother was not enough. His appetite for cruelty and deviate influence progressed to the point I became HIS PROPERTY; my mother, Mona, stepped aside and did absolutely nothing to help me or care for me ever again. I was told to shut up and stop whining. I still hear this from my siblings today on the rare occasion I speak to them at all. For me the only family I had died in March 1989 and I still mourn his death today. I just stopped by his grave last week and thanked him for helping as much as he could. He was just a boy, a boy who willingly lived in our home until he was 22yrs old; but he was a boy who stepped in front of Malcolm’s rage more than once and he stepped in front of the loaded weapons pointed at my head. He would have taken that bullet rather than see me be harmed. For John, I will never have the chance to repay what he did for me, which was the best that had happened until I was 40 yrs old.

Malcolm influenced my sexual behavior with other boys and men within the community of Freeburg beginning around age 11, when he first arranged a special party with a case of beer and about five neighborhood boys who hung with my brother. I was instructed on who to invite, how to dress, and what to encourage and allow these boys to do with me. It is the most shameful and disgusting memory that I carry. I attended school with these boys. I saw them hanging in the park everyday, and I would party with them being my ‘friends’ for the next five years.

It was just a few weeks later he took me to JB Tavern, just two blocks from our house, where my mother worked and all the coalminers hung out. I was fed double shots of vodka with orange juice, so many that I puked the entire evening and next day. We were there for about two hours when Dave and a crew of miners came in to shoot pool and toss back a few beers. I was given a dollar for the jukebox and instructed on how to ‘shake my ass’ as I played the music. I was asked to pick out the cutest guy, and then taken to his table and offered out for a trip out back or in the car; all it would cost is a couple of beers. This was my value if I had any at all, and when he looked at Malcolm and said; ‘She’s just a kid’, I was taken to the car and beaten for being so ugly no one would ever want anything to do with me at all. ‘I was lucky they wanted to ‘f***’ me’. This was who I became and just part of how I was used until I finally escaped, running to move in with the first guy who asked; a guy from thirty miles away who didn’t know anything about me or my family history. I just needed to get away before I either killed Malcolm or he killed me.

At that time I was 17yrs old; he was going to purchase a mobile home and put me on a plat of ground where he would have his own special key to come over anytime and bring whomever he wished. I didn’t care who helped me get away and I certainly didn’t take time to evaluate who he was or how he treated me. As a result of my inability to realize the inner cruelty he had, the following two years would be almost deadly on a weekly basis.

In the influence of my parents, I became the perfect lifetime victim. It didn’t take much kindness for me to open my legs and my heart; for me to seek their approval regardless of the cost, so long as I felt they wanted me. My behaviors became coping strategies. I was fed a case a beer before I turned 10 years old. It was the way Malcolm reduced my rejections or put me in a manipulating and controllable condition. I was given my first joint before I was 12 and to say the least, this is what I depended on to numb the loss and disgust that I couldn’t escape. Lance was the first to give me cocaine, and I even did a few small hits of acid; but it definitely was not for me and the cocaine was too expensive, so my constant state of being was either drinking or high, or both until I got pregnant and left the country. It was a blessing to be removed from all that surrounded me, but the man I married was not the same man I lived with over there. This man had me in the perfect place; I couldn’t escape and had no one around to talk with or convince me that I wasn’t as low a piece of crap as he insisted I was. Our society wasn’t even discussing the acts of child abuse or family violence back then and I definitely didn’t know anything other than what I had been so well trained to accept; it was my ‘normal’.

From 20 to 40 there was a handful of failed and cruel relationships, some more violent and destructive than others, but each a reflection of the only thing I knew. I fought constantly trying to absorb all of the bad so that my kids would never know that type of pain; however, I didn’t realize just how the chaos was affecting them and the example of womanhood I was giving my daughters. Imagine seeing your mom be beaten to a pulp while you’re sitting at the kitchen table waiting for her to come eat dinner with you. Suddenly the perfect plate of food she delivered to him goes flying across the room, and because she wasn’t going to sit on the couch with him, she was thrown, kicked, punched and slammed against walls, the stove, the sink and the door. Finally the fighting stops and she comes into the table, trying to calm your little sister and get everyone to eat as if nothing happened. Imagine the confusion and human value your children learn in our examples of tolerance. How do you think they will grow to see the world and what value they will hold precious about themselves? What will their children learn and how will they behave in school or in the teenage social situations as they develop?

This is our human conditioning and it leaves an ugly mark on all those affected. It distorts our value of ourselves and how we treat others. Some might become extreme protectors and put the needs of others higher than the needs of themselves and their happiness. Some might become lost in drugs, alcohol, or even deviate attacks on others. Some of those like me get so lost they can’t get out and are emotionally wounded forever; these are those prone to submissive and self harming behavior, that which commonly ends in suicide or overdose ending in death. They can’t hold productive steady employment and have chronic health conditions which studies are finding are actually early onset conditions that first show up as Juvenile Fibromyalgia or Early Post Traumatic Stress; conditions that hold trigger reactions before the person is old enough to realize the effect at all. The overall economic cost to society, becomes the taxpayers burden because of these invading health and emotional conditions that cause a reduction or inability to sustain in self supportive life development. Most have difficulty in learning skills or the development of healthy, productive life skills. After all when did they have time to concentrate on homework or study for that big test?

Personally, I’ve got so many injuries and health problems my body and my daily life are a mess. The cost of my constant healthcare in pain management, medications, various procedures, circulatory and pulmonary progressive diseases; I’ve been on disability since 2007. I would have to say that the worst of my conditions today is the permanent spinal cord trauma which has caused elongated cystic sacs to grow inside of my central canal, a condition called Syringomyelia. This alone causes wide spread severe pain, but add in the intense Fibro & Head Trauma and you’ve got a disastrous mess. I’m not feeling sorry for myself, so please don’t pity me, it really just makes the situation worse. What I need is to know that something I say or do or write will help you support someone whose been harmed, as well as prevent or intervene when something happens in your circle today.

Victims and Survivors need to know that their suffering and their voice matters to someone; that someone cares enough to help heal the wounds and make us stronger so that we can provide a better life for ourselves and more importantly our children. We need the law changes to prosecute these types of repeat heinous offenders. For most of us, we will never be given a chance at justice, because the laws of our past allow absolute minimum time to report or press charges; in Illinois these offense statutes allow only ONE YEAR after victim’s 18th birthday. Hell, I didn’t even know what the word trafficking was and definitely feared this couple so much, along with the condemnation of those around me; my life was something so destructive and disgusting I couldn’t tell anyone what happened to me at all until I was around 35 years old. Some knew that my childhood wasn’t pleasant, but no one, including myself, really knew just how evil and tragic it was.

We are NOT our parents, and we do NOT have to live in the sorrow, pain, and pattern of harm or victim they taught us. We have a choice today and we can actually use the strength of amazing survivors who are finally able to discuss what’s happened; use their courage to speak up as a precious gift. This is a strength beyond measure they cling to and can use, not just to help themselves, but to influence how we help and how we can truly save the life of someone else today. You can be the one to step in and take the bullet; you can stop the bleeding and help stitch up the wounds of our kids lost in the pattern of destruction, crime, drugs, and harm they are trying to survive today. Please don’t sit on the sidelines and judge what that person should or shouldn’t do, because until that same personal violation is against you, then you can never know how it feels or the damage it causes. You may be stronger than they are and bounce back with no problem, but you may watch someone else slowly disintegrate so horribly that it becomes their own extinction.

Today I use my past, all of it; my behaviors and my pain, my bad choices and the influence I’ve seen continue in my children and grand children’s lives; I use all of this hoping that somehow I can help empower one other survivor to believe they absolutely matter. Hoping that I can inspire one victim to get help for themselves and their family. Hoping that I can change the offensive behavior of someone who has been harmed, but reacts and attacks others in their pain. We DO NOT have to harm others or devalue ourselves, because on this amazing planet; every life and every breath taken truly matters and we all have the power to do something about it.

Be a Hope-Line & save a life

Thank you for reading & I do hope you’ll share

Love for all,

‘Trish’

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Author: ‘My Justice’     mj-2

http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62  

Promo 07.17.2016

‘My Justice’ the survivor story from hell that will change your perception of family harm

coverkindle   https://youtu.be/0Rpt_oHU5NM

Patricia A. McKnight ~~ ‘My Justice’

By John Miller on January 4, 2014 ~~ “Without any doubt, “My Justice” by Patricia A McKnight is one of the most horrifying, chilling and shocking accounts of child abuse, that I have ever read.”

By Stormy on March 26, 2016 ~~ “Difficult to read though it is worth it for the knowledge gained about one of the most horrific crimes against nature and the destruction that is left in its tracks.”

Lynn C. Tolson – Survivor/Advocate/Avid Reader/Inspiring Speaker for Survivors of Sexual Harm ~~”McKnight uses details, descriptions, and a direct writing model to convey the terror of her childhood and young adulthood. The style seemed stream-of-consciousness, as if telling a story all in one breath. While reading, I held my breath, waiting to exhale.”

Attention Media

‘My Justice’ is one of those survivor stories you will never forget. Described as ‘Shocking, Horrifying, Disturbing’; ‘It is amazing you are alive today’

I am constantly amazed in the types of careers who have focused their expertise in some form after reading ‘My Justice’ or have used this memoir to help others in their type of profession to truly understand the complex levels of the child, the woman, the mother who was brutally offended over a forty year period. From her early development extending into her third marriage this woman did not know what it was to have someone who didn’t try to degrade or harm you. She never received any medical care for her serious injuries sustained in the many attacks. Everything from serious concussions from being knocked-out or the many layers of filth, infected sores, and rotting, broken black fangs that replaced her childhood smile by the time she was thirteen.

Imagine never being hugged by your mother, never hearing ‘I love you, I’m here to protect you’ from the woman who brought you into this world. Mona kept me from the father & grandparents who would have helped me, rescued me and cared for me throughout my entire childhood. She permitted my stepfather to claim me and use me as property, to exploit me at our local taverns for a few beers, to hold private parties with large groups of grown men, or to take me on their dates to entice other men to buy our drinks while he grinded his groin against me as he slow-danced with me in front of everyone.

Imagine a mother who could be so dismissing and cold towards just one of her children, that she used her as a household slave. Everyday it was getting my younger sister to school, picking her up, walking her home, starting dinner immediately, helping my sister with homework, setting a proper table and cleaning up all the mess from whatever meat, veggie, and potato meal had been prepared by her alone. Imagine being told to use the toothbrush to scrub the lime from around the sink, scrub the crevices of the bathroom with bleach, to spend every day doing household chores and praying for just two or three hours during summer weekends to escape.

This is a survivor story that in truth still continues, because you simply cannot erase the physical, sexual, violent, and verbal destruction that became the only type of existence this one child ever knew. The depth of viciousness and disregard against this one girl is something so twisted, that not even the best psychiatrists have been able to understand. Most will say the story is completely unbelievable and that it was published as a ‘novel’ so it must not, and could not possibly have really happened. I assure society as a whole and welcome ANYONE who knew me as a child growing up in our small coalmining area to comment or prove me lying. If you know my family, if you grew up and went to school at Freeburg High School, Carl L Barton Elementary School, even those who passed through my life knowing my parents Malcolm & Mona White; I invite you to speak up and share whatever memories you might have of me. I know that if John Spurlock were alive today, he would be there supporting me and defending me as he almost gave his life on more than one occasion when he stepped between Malcolm as he was coming after me.

This is a story that is definitely happening to at least 1 in 20 kids in America today. It is a story on so many disturbing levels of harm, you may think of the brutal cultures that exist in other countries and just how horrific they really are against children. The worst tragedy of this story however, is that for the author, the influence and the impact of all the sustained injuries is a huge part of her life today. She desperately tries to fight to change our laws. She has educated her children on the rights and wrongs against other people and helping their children rather than living in the circling emotional suffering. This author gives her voice, her story, and reveals all of the ugly parts of her real person so that we can provide the support, recovery, and changes in our policies and healthcare system to ensure that we are able to be a society protecting tomorrow’s children today.

Join this strong advocate who gives presentations at universities, for nonprofit services, churches, and in community settings. You will find her across social media empowering others to honestly believe that life is in their control, they can change what is happening in their aftermath today and how it will affect their life skills, parenting, and even successful employment if they do not begin their own life changing recovery process today. She is a peer support person in addictions, substance abuse, sex trafficking, family violence, and most of all as an ‘expert’ in the constant drive to becoming whomever you wish to be as you take your chance at life.

Connect for more information online through the below links;

https://www.linkedin.com/in/patriciaamcknight?trk=hp-identity-photo

www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

https://twitter.com/triciagirl62

 

 

Head Trauma; Disability from Violence

Many times in a person’s life they may come across another person who is violent to the extreme. Sadly they end up with ongoing physical, maybe neurological, difficulties with their health from that moment in time. Reading this might cause some triggering, ‘bad emotional response; anger, anxiety, sadness, pain). However I do feel that what I’m discussing here is more critical for you to know than to ignore because of possible negative response. Please do take the time to read, share, respond. This is our ongoing multitude of issues revolving around our history of tolerating personal violence inside our homes, which simply ‘trains’ our children to tolerate this in their life, affecting their children, who then accept their own level of suffering in their life, which then affects their children and so on, etc……..

Our topic of Head Trauma from Violence can be viewed as the same information provided for the football players in repeated concussions. The biggest difference, the football player has a helmet and body pads. Inside a home of violence however, you never know when things might go extreme and if you are a child, to have a person twice your size and maybe 3x your weight; the end result can most definitely be death or lingering physical or neurological issues from the trauma.

We, our ‘decent’ human society, often feels as if this subject matter is being discussed to either get pity for things they have already survived or climbed above, or it is considered to be ‘Too Intense’ for common conversation. How about the fact that most of us know someone who is being violently or sexually attacked on a regular basis, or at least once in their lifetime anyway. The length of time a person endures these traumatic experiences depends on a few specifics;

    • How old are they? – Do they have the ability of age to speak up, get help, drive a car; get away, or work to support themselves?
    • What is their level of tolerance learned? – How long have they been living in this pattern of accepting violence?
    • What is their perception of self? Do they feel they deserve this type of treatment? Do they believe they can survive to pay their own way through life without someone who hurts them verbally/physically/sexually?
    • Do they have a close friend to talk to or who will get them help when needed; hopefully medical help and a police report?

This constant level of extreme violence, which quite often involves threats with weapons, use of weapons, threats of death or sudden violent attacks without cause of anger. This happens more often when people on are heavy types of illicit drugs such as Meth or even heavy drinking. I personally know a lot of people who are affected by drinking Whiskey or Tequila. Drinking, rather it is wine or whiskey is a very common act which happens in almost every household. This is something our kids learn as social behavior and many of them in our inner city or urban areas see drastic levels of drug or alcohol use on a regular basis. This is not to leave out our rural or rich society, because it most definitely is a staple of coping life in their homes as well.

Since I’ve worked much of my life as a bartender, (an excellent backup skill to always have an income); also I grew up in an alcoholic and drug enticing environment; I’ve seen people under the influence on different levels of drinking or illicit drugs. In this type of human acceptance of drinking and the BAR environment; I’ve seen first hand how alcohol has the greatest negative response for many people. They are trying to cope with the struggles of their life, maybe past trauma, but instead of finding a peaceful place they find an angry place. This will cause many family arguments, many of those simply because someone was in eyesight so they end up getting attacked. Violence is an instant reaction caused by someone who has reached their angry place inside. The choice to act against another person can be triggered by conversation, being in a difficult environment, around people they feel are a threat to their identity, or from the chemical reaction of the alcohol itself. 

The violence usually begins on a verbal foundation, suddenly a rage in the person’s reactions; slamming a fist on the table or couch, stomping their foot, throwing an item, or suddenly grabbing the person who is closest to them. The violence can quickly become intensely dangerous, which results in kicking, punching, strangulation, or by slamming the person’s head against a solid surface. This is when it becomes most life threatening and could cause a lasting trauma within the brain itself from possible bruising on the brain, just like what happens in the concussion injury of our major NFL Players or the controversial high school football when they begin to get more physically developed to cause an injury.

Myself, I lost count of how many times I was actually knocked out or had my head bashed against a solid surface in a violent attack. I’ve been slammed repeatedly against dashboards, windows, mirrors, stoves, refrigerators, doors, walls, even a huge tree slab that was meant to be a table top about eight inches thick. There was NEVER any type of medical follow up to confirm a concussion, especially during my childhood. No way could my parents risk taking me to the doctor and having my leather strap lashes and bashed up head examined; the state would have taken their family slave immediately. This is why most people in a violent home rarely receive the necessary medical treatment. I’ve had cracked or broken ribs, couldn’t move or breathe well for weeks. I’ve had both collar bones broken at the end from having my shoulder area smashed against a wall or stomped on while being kicked in the head.

Today, in my mid 50’s, there are a lot of chronic pain issues from injuries. There is also the Fibromyalgia from living in a constantly high stress environment. Our medical community have confirmed that Fibromyalgia ‘can be directly connected to the Fight or Flight Response’. Our human system is designed to enhance our adrenaline and heightened response to threat. However, if you cannot change your situation and cannot avoid being harmed, your body’s reaction to stress becomes confused. Your nerve endings go into an intense reaction from the heightened response, yet you are physically not able to do anything to get away; this causes a ‘trained’ intense neurological response to any sense of ‘threat’ and becomes a cramping, burning and intense pain in the upper body, pressure builds up in your forearms and calves, then shoots down into your fingers and feet as if they are on fire. I’ve found that Lyrica is the best medication for this type of pain, but Coping Skills must be used to calm your intense reaction so that your body & adrenaline response also calm, which then loosens the muscle contraction and burning sensation. Fibromyalgia is commonly found in those with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. It is also found more in women, but I believe that men have not yet been fully examined in this research as they are just beginning to seek out help when in a violent relationship. Fibromyalgia is also found in those who have been in a threatening situation for a long period of time.

These are just a few lasting injuries from violent trauma, which are directly linked to possible ongoing disabling and chronic results which impact our nation’s healthcare system. Since many of us are harmed as children, we tend to accept a certain level of violent (verbal, physical, sexual) depending on what you lived through during your formidable years. It’s important to consider the types of influence on our growing deficit as well. The cost of those who cannot work for their independent survival income, either because of physical or emotional injury from violence and abusive actions; these millions of persons become a national responsibility, which we all know is already crippled, bankrupt, and out of control.

However, if we are trained to spot the WARNING SIGNS OF TRAUMA & VIOLENCE, as given from many reputable organizations who are experts on these traumas. I have also developed a presentation which connects all factors of violence, sexual trauma, and the result of what can become human trafficking or exploitation. A View from the Inside’ is available for viewing but is copyright research which has taken about three years to put together in the total connection of what can become the most dangerous place in the world; the connection of ‘Family Violence & Human Trafficking’. This is a crucial topic in our society and should be a priority topic for all of our elected officials and our service providers, regardless if you are a neighbor, family member, educator, law enforcement, or healthcare professional. You NEED to know what are those unspoken signs of trauma?

According to this attached article & graphic from American Academy of Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation, there is a very strong correlation between Adverse Childhood Experience, especially in those who score between a 4 to 8 on the counted scale of what you endured. The higher your score on the ACE Study creates a 95% greater risk of early disability, which can become a complete dependency on Social Security Income & Medicare/Medicaid for ongoing health related challenges.

In closing, think of Shaken Baby Syndrome, if we consider how detrimental to natural development is interrupted by shaking a baby, causing their brain to bounce off the skull, then what is also the cognitive and lasting affect after concussion or bashing a teen or adult head repeatedly for an extended period of time? This is something I am researching now as I focus on the growing impact of violence in our society, especially in family violence with rarely any type of medical attention received. Most of the injuries go unreported as a whole, and the victims are taught to ‘simply walk it off’ type of conditioning to tolerance. We cannot end the travesty in our society of street violence or school violence, until we tackle the growing pandemic of ‘Family Related Violence & Trauma’.

Thanks for reading and I do hope you will help share this crucial information. When we can provide needed medical help, we reduce the possibility of permanent injury and in the end also reduce the high risk of injury and early disabling conditions.

Something to think about…..

Patricia “Trish’’ McKnight

CSA Survivor Force Regional Spokesperson

Family Violence & Child Sexual Trauma Specialist

Cert Human Trafficking Trainer 2013

IL Cert DV Support Advocate 2012

Panel Member DV Offender Education Reform Program

Assisting victims & families since Nov 2010

 

 

Ref:

1) National Institute of Health, Pain Treatment Research, Article 2011; 2012 Manuel Martinez-Lavin

2) Copyright © 2014 American Academy of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation. Published by Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. PMID:24486921 [PubMed – indexed for MEDLINE] PMCID:PMC4306581

3) Types of Abuses & Warning Signs: Patricia A McKnight, Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery (Child Abuse Warning Signs & Relationship Violence Red Flags) Pub 2012 ©

4) ‘A View from the Inside – Family Crimes & Human Trafficking’ © Patricia A McKnight 2015