Believe in the true power of your inner strength to survive

blkwhtpromoFriends it is time to take a deep breath in, concentrate on what is blocking you from feeling the true happiness in your heart, then as you exhale blow it out with force. Think of all those obstacles challenging you today and blow the fears into the wind. Allow the outer energy to absorb them and remove them from your path. Send it all out into the swirling winds of our earth to allow the angels around you to grab them and feel your heart pounding with the true belief in your new beginning. Your life has been blocked by many self doubts, blow them away into the wind. Believe in your heart of hearts, deep within your soul, find the you that truly lies within and allow that person to rise, to stand strong, and to be your leading guide.

youwereborn Believe inside this one simple truth; each of us was created with an innocent soul. Perhaps there may have been monsters or controllers who came into your path with a force so strong they pulled you in deep, they altered your true being, they took away that very special innocent soul. Don’t give up because the person you were born to become is still waiting there inside, just waiting for you to make that choice and breath the life back into your dreams.

Whatif_159x171 Today is your new beginning!! Today is the day you can grab hold of your dreams, you can decide how you want to live your life. You can believe in the true power of you!!

Friends I know how dark the days can become, in fact I was recently at a place so dark I called a crisis line, not just once but twice just this past week. My world became so small I couldn’t focus on the reality of where I am today or the personal strength I hold inside. You must admit, if you know anything at all about my past, there had to be a huge circle of inner strength that has protected me and kept me alive to share with all of you today. How bad it can be sometimes when the pain of our trauma takes from us the desire to continue building the life we want to have. All trauma, because trauma is trauma, it all alters your life. It doesn’t matter if it is from suffering in the loss of someone you love, or the monsters of the night, or even the illnesses we may be trying to cope with today; it is all trauma and the trauma is yours. No one can tell you how this trauma SHOULD affect you. No one can tell you how to cope through the pain you feel, because the pain you feel is also yours and no one else knows how all of these struggles are affecting you. This is something that is completely in your control and it really depends on how you want to view your life. Remember that within that innocent soul you were also given the power of RESILIENCE, which can be the greatest tool ever when put together with the strength & drive to live the life you so definitely deserve.

you matter As this new day begins, believe in this simple but very powerful truth – YOU MATTER!! How you feel matters. How you want to live matters. What dreams you want to chase and achieve matters. You hold the power of the choice today.

Believe in the truth I share that I have absolutely been where you are. It is so painful you have no idea how to even begin to face it all, so list the challenges out in pieces much like those of a puzzle you are trying to put together. Often the multiples of emotions or struggles we are facing are too overwhelming to handle it all at once, so breath and then begin to sort out your pieces of trauma and then put them back together one single piece at a time. It is much like a deep Maddening Silence, so do not allow it to consume all the amazing power of you.

You may be in someone else’s control and so terrified that you are actually afraid to breath. You’re afraid the slightest infringement out of rhythm will cause an explosion that just might cost you your life. You may be holding your breath so tight that you are afraid your breathing pattern of inhale and exhale will not match that of your controller, so you hold your breath; you alter your pattern of breathing to ensure you are keeping everything calm, everything perfect; nothing to upset the monster. I’ve been there and I know that intense fear; the doubt that we are not capable of anything at all on our own. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CAPABLE!! There are resources today that were not available 20 years ago. We have ways to help each other in support, understanding & friendship. Our legal system responds differently to the calls for help. Many states, such as Illinois, are now educating their law enforcement on how to respond when a call of abuse or violence is made. They respond strong and ready to act, ready to protect, ready to assist, ready to give you the local resources & shelters there waiting to help you breath again. Your day is waiting when you are No Longer Afraid to Breathe     

youarenotalone

My website is just one beginning list of daily tools you can use to help you rebuild and begin to take back your power; your control over your true destiny. You are NOT alone!! No matter what you may be trying to overcome and heal, there are resources around the world, no matter what country you live in. I want to take a moment to encourage every person who is dealing with some form of fear, pain, trauma; reach out to a hotline when you are in the lonely desperate place. The voice on the other end of the phone is there waiting to help you through. If you are in that silence of pain, remember there are places of help and you no longer have to fear the future, because the future truly belongs to you.

This is the time to believe in yourself

You deserve to be happy

You deserve to be respected

You deserve to feel love, just as sincere as you give to others

You deserve to plant the roses & watch them blossom in your garden of life

You deserve to soar into your own path

You hold the power inside to truly

Live Strong & Fly Free

Always believe anything is possible

with you in the active equation

livestrong

Artwork creation courtesy of

Michal Madison Art

www.michalmadisonart.com

Begin rebuilding by using these completely free

‘Steps to Recovery’

Daily focus tools to help you through the moments of darkness

Rebuild your self confidence

Understand the connection between your trauma & the impacts left on your life

Learn what abusers look for in a person

Learn the early silent warning signs of child sexual abuse or relationship violence

Dedicated to empowering you to become a protector

Prevent secondary wounding & re-victimization

Be well angels,

Sincerely,

‘Trish’ McKnight

Author: ‘My Justice’ – One of the most powerful true crime stories of survival and rebuilding life after trauma that you will ever read. This amazing true story will change the belief in your strength to survive!

All information & writings are copyright protected under the creation of:

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Nov. 2012

Email me direct at trish.mcknight@live.com

Empowerment Speaker/Human Trafficking Awareness Trainer

Writer/Research/Mentor

Some other great websites of help;

NAMI.org

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Childhelp.org

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Adult Survivors of Child Abuse, ASCAsupport.org

RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network)

Living in the laws of the church……

 

Hi Friends,

First off let me explain this piece of writing. So very often a survivor or victim of an abusive or harmful life comes to me and shares how they are plagued between the laws of the church they’ve been taught to believe all their lives and the many dangerous actions they’ve endured; shaming themselves simply because the church has always been the written laws of our society’s morality.

Now before anyone gets upset, let me clarify; I do not condemn the church itself and all the good it is meant to represent for our society, but rather the old fashioned laws and beliefs actually created by mankind in a century when beliefs were so strongly different in what our evolving society is accepting today.

For example;

Mankind once had written laws created by the leaders of centuries past which stated a woman was property. It was permitted for their owners, their husbands, to beat and degrade them publicly. Women and children had no voice and no opinion that any person who stood strong in the church and the laws would ever respect or consider. A marriage license gave that particular male the right to view his family as his and only his. No other person was permitted to even touch them and could be condemned in prison if in fact they did. This was the beginning of our human justice system. If the male figure, the owner, complained about an act against one of his property, his family members, then that person could certainly be sent into prison or put to death. However, if the owner, the husband, made an act of harm against one of his property, his family, then so what; the members he created in life (children) were his to do with as he saw fit. He could hand out his young children or use them to make money in hard labor or in sexual depravity; they had no right to complain and had to do as the leader, (their owner, their father), had ordered.

Now do you have a better idea about why I have the difficulty of these still widely believed and taught accepted ideals of our human morality? We are still (although adjusting in many ways) but are still teaching our children from a very young impressionable age, that only these are the ways in which we as a humans, a God Created Society, must live.

I don’t know about you, but I certainly do not want my son to believe that he has ownership and rule over any human being. I do not want my daughters to believe that although they may be married, they must stay with a man who beats, disrespects, degrades them simply because of the damning condemnation of the church, their family, and society as a whole.  I, as all parents, want and have taught my children to believe in the value of themselves as human beings, not an owner or ruler of their families, not a woman to be punished or humiliated because of her thoughts and actions. I would much rather they honor the sense of what love is about, and no matter what gender they may choose to have as a partner, it is much more important they find the person who shares a mutual sense of partnership & love with the. I cannot believe that God/Creator would rather have us live our life feeling stuck in a brutal controlling life because they fear the church and Creator will punish them; condemn them in Hell for eternity for wanting to feel loved, appreciated, respected in a mutual loving bond.

In many ways our church and religious beliefs are finally beginning to evolve with the belief that love is love, that mutual respect & kindness between all members of the family is much more important than the fear of rotting away in Hell for choosing to live another way. Think of just how much we can change the strength of our society and create a path of kindness to be handed down for all future generations of beings to come if we simply stopped forcing our wives & children to believe in these old man-made creations of law in our churches today?

My children are the most accepting human beings of others I have ever met. This is simply because they will give to others a non-judgmental support rather than condemning them for what laws of the church they have broken by choosing a same sex partner, or leaving an abusive controlling marriage, or by simply being an individual who doesn’t always preach and support the laws of centuries old beliefs simply because they are written in the old guides of our church laws. How would you have your child live in a relationship/marriage today? How would you have them raise their children to believe? How would you want them to see themselves; are they property to be used and controlled, condemned by society and terrorized with beatings or sexual contact before they are even old enough to understand that form of contact and give their consent to act mutually with the person of their choice?

Maybe its because my viciously abusive past was the most altered and impacted by a man who told me many times he was an under-study Baptist Minister in the same church I attended as a child when he first started dating my mother? He was studying to be a Baptist Minister when he had already committed depraved cruelty and harm against children of his first marriage. As I grew and his use of me began to include handing me out to others and doing whatever he instructed or face his violent attacks, this is when he began telling me how God would never forgive me for the acts I was forced to accept against me. God no longer saw me as an innocent child and would hold me accountable for all that I did and all that he was forcing me to take part in. In their long life marriage it was simply agreed I was his property and in order for my mother to avoid his depraved acts against her, she made the conscious decision to instead allow him ownership of her middle child; that I would be seen not as human, but as his. She as my mother would deny me any sense of human kindness or care, no hugs, no tenderness, just simply his evil and the housekeeper, cook and caregiver who was ordered to answer the ring of his own private little brass bell.

Don’t get my wrong, I’ve had a deep spiritual connection and respect for the intended guidance of the church since I was that little girl. This same sense of kindness and respect, without judgment towards others, has been with me all my life. It is a part of my DNA and will never be altered, not by his actions against me then, not by my mother’s decision and permissions of what happened inside our dark family secrets, and most definitely not by the cruel abusive controllers who would lure me in under the guise of love, but try to beat out of me and control me, to own me as he once did and do with as they saw fit. No human being will ever destroy the good in me which God alone instilled within my spirit the day He chose to create the human being I am today.

Our laws today are continuously changing because of new minds and voices that are being heard. These strong beings are testifying to the need of these changes in our society because of all the harm we continue to act out against those who we consider less powerful, less valuable, less deserving. These amazing persons, men & women alike, are changing our society’s belief of the roles set forth in our laws and in our most powerful source of human morality; beginning the ways we teach others inside our churches. No longer should any person’s life be set in stone by marriage or other forms which support the strong dominating male of a household who feeds their power with terrorizing acts against their spouse and their children. Why are we still teaching these centuries old beliefs of dominance and control all under the acceptance and fear of what our after life will be if we do not abide by what is written?

Let’s think about the monsters who have raped, beaten, molested and instilled deep rooted fear into their victims, all under the roof of the church or as appreciated, respected members of the church and all of its centuries old beliefs. The examples of this are endless; the priests protected from punishment and shipped around the world to give guidance and instill strong church laws into those who give their last penny to be accepted into the Heaven’s above. These predators have numerous victims whom they’ve acted out their own depraved behaviors against boys & girls alike; the victims they view as property to be used and abused without a voice whom any of their parents or society would ever believe if they spoke out against these wolves in sheep’s clothing. Look at praised and respected members of the church and communities like Sandusky who have countless times overpowered young boys to believe if they say anything about the acts, their reputation and those of their church members will never believe they could do such things, or that such acts as sexual interactions these young victims are to be taken for what they truly are, manipulations by the predators whose developed overpowering skills could ever possibly be seen as wrong.

‘So what’, society states, ‘So they had sexual actions with a child. It was only sex. It will not harm them. It will not alter who they are inside and it certainly will not impact their lives because we have been doing throughout our human existence’. Well today we have 1 in 5 Americans who are battling through some form of mental illness, be it depression, bipolar disorders, and other such illnesses. We have young children and teens who believe they must DIE because they PERMITTED these depraved acts against them. ‘Why didn’t they just tell someone or why did they lead the person on that way?’ It is a skill in which most predators are very well acquainted with in overpowering a child or younger victim. They instill doubt, fear, shame and even blame on that younger person, and we in society drive it deeper by telling them it was nothing, or that it is not the root of their problems or even worse we blame them because again, THEY ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN.

It is time that our churches start sharing the true meaning of church, not what man created with their old laws. It is time we start teaching that all beings have rights to protect them and that all persons who act against them in these depraved or violent acts be held accountable for their CHOICE to offend that child, that woman, that living creature; the living creature God has brought into this world for a purpose and a greater good. These victims are not here to be property, to be beaten, raped, and then condemned and blamed all because the old laws say it is so.

We are a new generation, we know the dark family secrets and actions that have been acted out against those seen as property, those whom mankind may have brought into this world. These young lives are not to be ruled over with fear & dominance, but to be nurtured into life under the guidance of love, respect and most definitely kindness.

All I can say as I close this out, thank Heaven above for those persons strong enough to read through the true laws and intended purpose of the church. Thank Heaven, they are strong enough to encourage change in our society under the belief that human beings will NEVER be another’s property.  Thank Heaven for the ways of our newer generations and those parents who have raised their children with value in all beings and the rights to be protected under our man made laws. Thank Heaven for the voices of strength who live with a sense that we are all deserving of peace in life; we are all deserving of an opportunity to grow without harm or shame, that all should know the glory of creating the roses that will bloom in their garden and a love to be passed onto another being without the attachment of do as I have instructed or you will be forever condemned in an eternity of Hell.

We today, are a knowledgeable society and we have the studies to prove the lasting impact of these vicious acts against another being. We are the first generation to speak publicly against these beliefs taught by the centuries old laws created by man, not God. We can most definitely give our partners, husbands & wives, our children and or neighbors the sense of their value and the truth that they matter. We can be the change that will guide a path of life for centuries to come and what I believe is the true sense of church, religion, spirituality as it was originally intended to be.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I do hope it has opened at least a few eyes in what is the true purpose of our church and not the centuries old laws handed down throughout generations. Pass it on to your friends, and if you’d like to publish this article please get in touch. You can email me direct at trish.mcknight@live.com or follow me on one of the many social & professional sites across the net. Below you will find the links to my published story, as written with my truth and finally the voice of the victim I used to be; the child property who has ripped away the coal stained hand that took from me the greatest tool of protection I was given by God above, he once took away my voice but I have finally found my own sense of freedom as I share it all in the publication of My Justice’.

 Follow all the links to gain a better understanding of what I’ve been doing in the support of victims/survivors like myself and even the family members who are battling through the struggles of healing and growth together. This passion of helping to educate about the impacts, teach prevention within our schools and our families, all while trying to encourage a prevention strategy within every small community; this is my heart’s passion and the drive that continues to guide me forward, the work I have been committed in doing since November 2010. I have studied the research of our mental health, the stats and views of publications in the Center for Disease & Control. I have also completed my 40 hour required introduction for Domestic Violence Advocacy and have become a Certified Trainer in Human Trafficking 101. I’ve done speaking engagements for many types of audiences and I would love to speak at your next function or gathering for change.

If you or someone you know is struggling through the aftermath of these harmful acts, there is the ‘Steps to Recovery’ tools which any person can use FREE OF CHARGE and on the front page of my website to help guide through rebuilding your inner sense of self after having endured any form of personally violating sense of trauma. You can and will recover from these actions against you. You can get safe and find your center and begin to live the life you were certainly created to enjoy.

Visit http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com to read through the tools and a site filled with information unlike those of other sites; not better, just filled with some guidance from someone who has endured some of evil’s worst, but finally I feel what it’s like to be loved, appreciated, and respected. You too will and do deserve to have a true chance at living your life in your own true freedom.

May peace & angels surround you, may you feel the true joys of life, and most importantly; may you know what it’s like to

Live Strong & Always Fly Free!!

Sincerely,

Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight

Author: ‘My Justice’

Paperback, Ebook, Kindle & Nook versions available

Advocate for all Victim’s Rights/Speaker/Mentor

Researcher/Presenter/Writer

Officially copyrighted and protected under federal licensing as Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Nov 2012

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio

Artwork on this website is the sole property of Michal Madison Art

More artwork can be found by visiting www.michalmadisonart.com

Although it is written as a novel…..My Justice

biopic3    MyJustice   reflection

  Although it is written as a novel, the accounts written here are true as they happened then. The impact and thoughts of the child, woman, mother, who endured it all are true. The names of the characters have been changed to protect innocent siblings & children, but this is the most powerful story of redemption & survival that you will ever read. Thanks so much to all who have given this a 5 Star Review on Authorhouse.com Amazon.com &  BN.com – Very Exciting

When I published this story I didn’t know anything about writing, publishing, marketing; I just simply needed to write through my third nervous breakdown and explain to my children about how the horrifying attacks endured in my young life created an ongoing opinion of myself and what I tolerated in my adult life. Sadly, it was a life of more than 30 years in one repeated beating after another. It was a life filled with heartbreak, terror, depression, but it was not a life I wanted my children to continue living.

Admitting to myself just how dysfunctional I was, was one of the most difficult challenges I’ve ever faced. When I had to get away from my 2nd husband, after a near death beating at 4:00 am, completely nude being strangled, beaten with a chair and spit on as he walked away; it was as I crawled to the phone to call 911 for the first time in my life that I realized only I could change the pattern of life I was in. Only I could give my children the safe, loving, supportive home they deserved to know. Sure I did my best to always give my children those things, but sadly even when they are not the ones being directly harmed, they still feel every punch against their mom as if they were going through it themselves, especially when they are young.

No, the police didn’t help me. It was the very first time I had ever reached out for someone to realize how badly I was being beaten. His mom knew it, she would come sleep on the couch to keep him from killing me. She did this at least three times in a 9 year relationship. All my life people had constantly dismissed my pain as if it were nothing to be raped with a shotgun barrel at just 12 years old, be traded out to my stepfather’s friends as my mother lay in her bedroom watching television, or to be left to have your skin rot away in her neglect of medical care when our health insurance would have covered any treatment I needed. Schoolmates attended weekend parties with me as the ‘whore child’ who would serve them. They saw the constant bruises and welt marks from beatings. They saw the filth which covered a young girl’s body from FIVE YEARS of not bathing because it was his favorite room of torture. The teacher’s, law enforcement, family friends and many others all knew, witnessed, or attended the many horrific acts I was forced to accept within my childhood home for twelve long years, but not one single person in our small community ever spoke up to help save me or rescue me from the man they all feared.

No my mother did not ever try to stop him, not even when she walked in and saw him in bed with her naked 9 year old daughter. She didn’t leave, she didn’t yell at him, but she did send me to my room. She was not afraid of him, in fact he was a complete pussy cat with her. She controlled their relationship and how their marriage went, because he just did not want to lose her. So why did she sacrifice her one child to this man? Why did she do nothing all those times he hurt me or handed me out to others? No one will ever know, because she still thinks in her mind, she did nothing wrong!!!

This is an amazing read about a child who wasn’t just abused, but was terrorized, used, traded out, and left to rot in hell by absolutely everyone who had the power to do something!!! It is about how all of those years in evil influenced what I tolerated as I got older. The many relationships in dysfunction, the dangerous and almost deadly beatings that were all I ever knew. Then as I was refused help by the police after the last brutal beating and knew one of us would die if I stayed; I fought through it all to break the cycle, give my children a home where they could sleep in peace, they could be happy, run, play and invite their friends for sleepovers. Yes, you can climb out of hell and still be happy in life, but only you can make that a reality. Only you can make the choice of what type of life you wish to give your children and then make that life happen.

Today I am safe, today I am truly loved and respected. Today I give everything I can to help others like myself. I have studied through Mental Health, took my 40 hour Illinois DV Advocate Classes, am a Certified Trainer in Human Trafficking Prevention & Awareness, and have been working with victims/survivors since Nov. 2010 when I started my first women’s support group, Survivors World on Facebook. I’ve since built a website filled with information to help others recover & rebuild after abuse. It is complete with Child Abuse Prevention, Relationship Violence Awareness, & resources of other survivors and orgs who are on the net to help your recovery. There is also two years spent as a talk radio host and the many hundreds of interviews with org leaders, mental health professionals, survivors, authors, and our Survivors World online radio. You can find out all you wish from this site by visiting

www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com
In a world that can be filled with so much pain~~
‘Always believe anything is possible with you in the active equation’~~

trish mcknight

Francine’s review of My Justice:

My Justice by Patricia McKnight

” Awesome book by a tremendously STRONG woman! ”

Delete

Mar 05, 2014 04:17AM · see review

Shocking, Disturbing, Disgusting, Atrocious, and horrifying!!!

These title words are just some of the adjectives used when people hear the true evil of my published story. The many responses, press announcements, Five Star Reviews shared about My Justice’, have been shared around the web for almost two years now. Our world media outlets and our First Amendment Right to Freedom of speech is what enables us to our stories to teach the next generation about the dark destructive evils of mankind!!!

I know very few people ever get their stories noticed in the media; especially if it has anything to do with the most darkest actions of our human society. However isn’t it rather weird that we are drawn to those televised reality shows of addiction, dysfunction and despair, so long as it doesn’t hit in the deepest secrets of our home?

“My Justice’ is a story that rocks the moral fortitude of our human society. It is a story that most don’t want to even think could happen in our small American, hometown style, communities.

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This true life horror story, ‘My Justice’, has now been read by hundreds. It isn’t a life I am proud to have lived by any means, but it is one that I am thankful to have survived!!!

TRUTH: Survivors of abuse, especially years (decades) of evil, violent and vicious degradation, disfiguring neglect, and being passed around to others like a party favor; this is something that is extremely difficult to admit to ourselves. Accepting that our parents are the guilty parties who trained us to be less than human; taught us that nothing about us is worth noticing. We were not raised as children, but merely objects to be used and brutalized; objects for sexual gratification to our parents, friends of the family and those permitted into this secret world. Our human value is never instilled, guided, or protected. It is stripped away from us and ripped from within our being. We believe there is nothing about us that matters and one of the most difficult challenges is to believe we have value or to promote ourselves in any manner!!

I have found my voice, found my strength; found my value as a human being. As hard as it is to pat myself on the back, especially for the truths of subject matter involved; I HAVE FOUND MY COURGE TO SPEAK UP AND REMOVE THE COAL STAINED HAND THAT HELD ME CAPTIVE FOR DECADES, FOR THIS I AM EXTREMELY PROUD!!!

‘My Justice’ has been incredibly reviewed by astounding individuals and the FIVE STAR RATED REVIEWS and comments continue to be shared by those who read the story!!!

Best selling author of geo-political thrillers such as: ‘Den of the Assassins’; ‘Cloning Christ’ and the novel he published from parts of his own amazing journey, ‘Chasing the Cyclone’; devoted child advocate, Founder/CEO of I CARE Foundation, Mr. Peter Thomas Senese has published many outstanding PR Web announcements, Amazon Reviews, and his own many blog shares about his thoughts on ‘My Justice’……….

Renown New York based Attorney Joel Walter has given the story huge praise and a big two thumbs up!!!……….”There are occasions when a book is written that shakes the very foundation you stand on. In ‘My Justice,’ Patricia McKnight has written an excellent, inspiring story of the human spirit. It serves as a reminder of many things. First, the importance for those who fall victim to abuse to stand strong and unashamed in the wake of their ordeal, and to find the courage to liberate themselves from those that chain their body, their mind, and their spirit. It too, is a reminder for each of us in society to not turn a blind eye to abuse, and to say ‘abuse will not be tolerated, ‘My Justice’ is an incredible story of courage and freedom in the wake of those who try to withhold these essential liberties. Clearly it took Ms. McKnight a great deal of courage to break her own personal chains, and to share this remarkable story. This story will impact many who Ms. McKnight knows, and many, many more she never will meet, but who’s lives she will make better. I highly recommend this story as much as I urge others victimized by abuse to emulate Ms. McKnight’s courage.”

Ms. Linda Walcher, a retired teacher of Freeburg Community School system; now a tutor for other up and coming teachers has shared her FIVE STAR RATING of this story……….. “This novel is a teaching of awareness for anyone who has direct contact with children to the extreme tragedy of neglect that is so commonly overlooked, but which can be the beginning signs of something much deeper. As a teacher, a mother, a person who cherishes all children; this amazingly well written novel made me want to scream and beg for others to read the details that are so exceptionally shared in the glorious strength of a child’s words.”

Dr. Brenda-Joyce Orozco Markert_Green- an educator of up and coming therapists has shared her FIVE STAR REVIEW…….. Please pick up a copy and read it. Most people do not understand all of the factors and variables that come into play in abusive situations, and this book spells out many of these. You will get more of an idea of what children who are being abused go through, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well, in order to survive their abusive situations. Trish also describes the abuse that she survived in her adult life, which points out the dynamics that play out in adult abuse situations also. Once you pick up the book, you will not be able to put it down! This is a must-read, and one that everyone should share with others, so that we can eradicate both child abuse and partner abuse! 

Dr. Brenda, also personally shared with me her desire to use this story as a recommended reading source for her students to see inside the silent child and survivor who struggles to exist in her daily life.

The absolute best quote I can share about ‘My Justice’ is from Ms. Darlene Jones, Exec. Director of Violence Prevention Center of Southwestern Illinois, whose comments were video taped by News Channel 5, KSDK videographer/reporter Kevin Held, as we spoke at S.W.I.C. about the Illinois Healthcare Grant they received to provide education, prevention measures and assistance to victims of abuse and/or family/relationship violence. Unfortunately however, the final published cut of the video did not share her beginning words about the story.

Ms. Darlene Jones, Exec. Director
Author/Advocate/Survivor Patricia A. McKnight

Her special words: ‘If Patricia’s story would have been shared just ten years ago, we’d be hearing her share it on the Today Show’!!!

I cannot say enough about how much this means to me, but there is much more to be said about the value of this novel. There are many hundreds and even thousands who have connected with me simply because the power of sharing my story has given them the courage to speak their own truth. Every day there are survivors, victims, followers, even personal friends who have been so deeply shocked at this story, so incredibly moved by this story they have been impacted in ways that have changed their world. At one time they may have been one of the many still held in that heavy steel cage of silence. Once they may have been someone who turned away and pretended not to notice these evil acts around them, but now they have been empowered with voice and they are passing that inspiration forward to others and all of us are finding the courage to stand against these crimes. The greatest power of sharing these horrifying details is the very public apology I give to my children throughout the story, which was my greatest inspiration; to explain the why of all the turmoil and dysfunction that flowed in to invade their lives because of the ignored, abused, trafficked child then became their mother.

‘Yes I am one of those millions in our society who was once a victim of these vicious abuses by those entrusted with my care’!!

My Justice’ has inspired victims to reach out and seek help. Survivors who have been trapped in these dark secrets for years have now been empowered to speak up and come forward. A few of these incredible survivors who have reached out to me and stated they’ve been inspired with hope by my story; have also been sharing their own secrets and touching the souls of other victims. They are journalists, bloggers, advocates, Facebook support group leaders and founders, such as; Viga Boland, Mary Graziano, Patricia Caldwell-Singleton, Michal Madison and Janice Meadows-Hedrick, Author Sharon Newkirk-Wells, of course this is just to name a few off the top of my head.

I am continually truly amazed by the wonderful strength of these voices. For me to feel like ‘My Justice’ has been not only highly praised and reviewed by some of these astounding every day friends, gives me hope and fills my spirit with drive to continue supporting them, while driving forward to reach out to our media outlets about the importance of making it public. One day it will shine for the many well written qualities it carries and the spirit of the survivor who has walked this amazing journey to freedom.

To all of you who have read my many blogs, read the novel, heard my voice on blog talk radio or connected through private messaging or phone calls; you have all made a huge impact on my world!!! There is no way that I can ever thank you enough for sharing your support, kindness, and most of all for finding your voice to speak your own truth!!! I am forever indebted to each of you. Perhaps one day we will live long enough to see it all make a difference!!!

There is more that has come from publishing my story two years ago. Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery has been built because of all of you who have reached out to me and shared your own journey. Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery has been built because of all the interviews written; some already published, some still waiting to be published, but without you I never would have believed in this dream or built this site to provide information, resources, and help others understand the wounds we carry from the traumas of our past. To take what I’ve learned through life’s journey and know that it matters; to know it is helping in a greater mission; to inspire some human kindness, to give hope to many who have had none; this is much like the bond and deep self appreciation of giving birth, which is exactly what has happened.

I have found and given birth to the me who has been hiding inside and this new child will never be held in silence again.

There is also the connection I have made with those other shining survivors who have come before me to share their stories and carry a devotion of advocacy and change, a mountain of hope filled with information and inspiration for our society. These many who I highly respect and hope to one day have all of us sharing our stories; hearing them and reading them through our many media outlets, which then allows it to penetrate our society and climb into the cracks of our homes, giving hope to those trapped inside that there are others fighting for their freedom from these atrocities.

There are millions of these incredible survivors who know the depth of pain and evil that our own parents and those who walk among our society as law abiding citizens, pillars of the community, or worse those who are seen as vicious souls, but not one person around them ever worries about the children within their care.

Some of those who I respect most for their courage to make a difference are; Annie O’Sullivan, Michael Skinner, Lynn Tolson, Paula Phelps, Jan Frayne, and of course Miss Erin Merryn who is making great changes by the enactment of Erin’s Law across the country!!!.

As I said, its difficult for a survivor to believe it matters and market themselves and their incredible work to reach the hearts of society. Someone could make a ton of money by choosing to market these survivor stories. Of course I’m speaking for those of us who don’t already have some type of marketing resource for our voices to be heard.

The Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Talk Radio is out to help get those voices out there and allow them to be heard. We want to share your story and share the amazing work you have dedicated to making a difference. I hope each of you will join me as a guest or co-host for a live broadcasting. It is vital to bring these stories out, let society see our numbers, and bring an ease of topic and discussion about the darkest of these ugly actions from one human being against another.

It all matters because of the growing epidemic of abuse and family violence/relationship violence that is still plaguing our society today and it just keeps getting worse. Mankind is destroying the moral fortitude that lies within us all. We are still living in the hell that generations before us have taught and passed forward, yet very few stories are ever heard and rarely make it to the news and other media outlets.

We have created our own manmade cancer and it has been festering in the silence, eating away at our society for centuries. Now we have the opportunity to change what has been. Our choice to do the right thing and teach our children through the stories of our past, is the only chance we have at bringing an end and giving them a better, safer, world in which to flourish.

You don’t see our stories make it to the New York Times Best Seller List. These truths are not read about in the Time magazine. They are not read about or reviewed in the Chicago Tribune, the LA Times, or the Riverfront Times here in the St. Louis area. Even our televised talk shows such as The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Ricki Lake, Dr. Phil, or Dr. Drew, and The Today Show; all of these turn away from the growing numbers of voices who are sharing these truths. Here in St. Louis area we have St. Louis Today, or Great Day St. Louis, but none of these will broach the subject of sharing a special on these dark pasts, which are incredible stories of survival. It truly makes me want to stand up and scream at the top of my lungs, hoping to reach every person within 500 miles of my voice; “Dammit it Matters People’!!!

We continuously see commercials for the Humane Society and the ASPCA; the abuse, malnourished, abandoned creatures of these dysfunctional homes are given more attention and supported by our financial donations, but the children and abused, beaten souls within the homes are left to rot in the plague of evil actions.

Isn’t our society at all shocked by the horrific nature of these brutal acts within our homes? If not, shouldn’t we be? The longer we remain silent about these vicious attacks within our own homes, the longer we allow our children and future generations to be destroyed!!!

These horrific nightmares still continue to infect the lives of our children every second of every day. The Illinois Department of Children and Family Services released the 2012 PDF file reports, which show 218 Children Murdered by acts of physical or neglectful abuse, yet there is only minimal response from our politicians and lawmakers who have the power to make a difference.

Was there a response to the email I sent to our President Barrack Obama? – No

Was there a response from the THREE PAGE LETTER and copy of ‘My Justice’ that I personally mailed to our beautiful family oriented First Lady Michelle Obama? – No

Was there a response to the video I made as a public plea for help to Dr. Phil? – No

Was there a response to the email I sent to our Senator Dick Durbin? A very basic return email was received, stating quite simply; ‘Thank you for your interest’. REALLY????

Has Congress yet passed Protect our Kids Act? – No

Have our Senate and House Representatives yet given the approval and passed into action the Reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act? – No

Perhaps we are turning away from these evil brutal truths because there are so many millions, if not billions, who still walk in the silence of these crimes today? Perhaps we do not want to open the door to all of these stories because we are afraid it will hit too close to home and we will realize there is someone we know; someone who is close to us; someone we love; perhaps even our own children who are still struggling to survive these atrocious acts of evil?

If we do not bring these truths to the forefront of our discussions then how will we be able to convince our kids it is safe; they CAN talk, they CAN speak up, they DO NOT have to feel ashamed of what’s happened to them. How can we empower our kids with the greatest weapon they hold; their voice? IF WE ARE NOT PUBLICLY TALKING ABOUT THESE STORIES AND THEIR GROWING NUMBERS, HOW CAN WE TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO SPEAK UP FOR THEIR OWN PROTECTION? How can we possibly teach them there is no shame if we are still turning away, pretending not to see or hear; whispering about the acts, but yet telling our kids there is nothing to be ashamed of, it is not their fault?.

We cannot remove the stain of shame on these victims until we can talk about it comfortably ourselves. What example of decency are we giving them if we are still whispering about the crimes of abuse and violence within our homes? I believe it continues to drive into our children that they must remain silent rather than reveal their rapist is their father, or their mother, or even their sibling. It’s alright to come forward and speak when it is someone outside the family unit, be it a teacher, minister, coach, boy scout leader; admitting this and charging them publicly is an act of courage and they should be proud of those they saved from falling prey to these monsters, but stay quiet if it is one of us who is attacking you and beating you, raping you, molesting you; don’t air your dirty laundry is what we are still teaching our kids today.

Excuse my blunt nature, but this is not a crime we survivors have committed; it is a crime that has been committed against us!!! The acts of child rape, molestation, beating, neglect, murder; the acts of beating and degrading, controlling and attempting to murder our spouses or partners; these are all crimes, but yet they are never heard in criminal courts. These acts are dealt with in family courts. Why? If it is a stranger who pushes me, punches me, attacks me in any manner, then it is a criminal case. However; if my father rapes me, my mother beats me and the entire community around me refuses to see the harmful neglect of rotting teeth, filthy hygiene and growing disgust of flesh eating infection, then all of this should be kept quiet. Never again will I be silent about what those around me did and those within my community either watched it happen or they took part in the trafficking of a child. They ignored the horrifying screams of me begging my husband to please stop beating me. They pretended not to see the face so beaten that it was beyond recognition and the broken ribs, collar bones, and severe bruising that covered my body was all just a ploy for attention. Really?????

To all of you incredible survivors who have fought through the madness that is inflicted by these crimes, I say to you;

NEVER GIVE UP!!! Our stories may never make it to be great success stories, but I guarantee you that each of your stories are touching the lives of those who read them. We are opening up the door so that others can see the horrific destruction that is caused by these acts. Your stories are being whispered about, but they are touching the lives of other victims and relieving the burden of shame they carry. Your stories and mine are making a difference ONE SOUL AT A TIME and we will make an impact on the generations to come. We are all saving the life of someone we don’t even know and rescuing those who live trapped in this hell. 

My choice to speak up was made for my children so that I could help them understand and see the person who lies within their mother. My choice to break free from the trained pattern of accepting these violent acts against me was because of the desire to give my children a better way of life. The choice I make right now to commit the rest of my years as an advocate is done for the children yet to come. It is a hope that things will change, that our society will see what is happening; our children falling apart and the surge of mental despair that is exploding around us; this is my drive to build what I feel is my path, my destiny. It helps me to take the thirty years of brutal and almost deadly attacks I’ve survived, then turn it all around into something as precious and gentle as a butterfly coming to life.

Now is the time for all of us to climb out of the darkness of our cocoon and soar into the possibilities of a better life. I am one of the many, one of the devoted, now one of the strong adamant souls who are spreading my wings and flying through the wonderful freedom of safety and happiness, which of course is something we were all intended to have as we took our first breath of life.

Live Strong & Fly Free

© Patricia A. McKnight

Advocate/Author/Speaker/Writer/Talk Radio Prod & Host/Survivor

Founder/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Survivors World online support group

Generation No More

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery

http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

My Justice’ is available through most online book resources

Authorhouse.com/Barnes&Noble/Amazon/Lulu

Paperback, E-Book, Kindle & Nook Versions

Announcement Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio

 

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We have shared many broadcasted programs during these past 18 months and I am so grateful to the many guests, chatters, supporters who have joined us or have shared our shows. In truth, I absolutely love doing radio. It’s an exciting way to continue passing the crucial need for grassroots community resources to provide assistance for victims, survivors & families who have been touched by some form of abuse, violence, trafficking, bullying and the many other types of personally violating crimes.

It saddens me to announce we are no longer going to be broadcasting, but I feel it is the best decision at this time. One, is the need for me to focus on my writing. Two is the need for funding to continue the premium broadcasting programs which have been enjoyed by listeners around the world, especially Wednesday’s Survivors World. It has been such a connecting and healing opportunity for each of us and I am grateful to have had this opportunity.

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery will be here to help anyone in need, no matter if we are on radio or not. Our organization is about supporting those in need and helping to educate about the true impact from these types of traumas. We will continue our training, our support, our awareness mission and the connections that have been made through our work.

Continuously I share my own journey as well as the information I learn in other specific trainings, which have focused on Sexual Assault, Mandatory Reporting, Human Trafficking, Elder Abuse, Domestic Violence & Child Abuse. I wanted to be sure to provide the very best assistance for the many hundreds of families, victims & even more survivors who have contacted me  over these past 4 years. The educational trainings I’ve taken have given me the ability to disconnect from my own personal trauma when assisting those in need. It is difficult at times to assist with the many levels of trauma and the personally emotional wounding left in its aftermath, so the trainings give the expert knowledge shared by states across the country.

Our radio programs have given us the opportunity to reach around the world, empower many to find the courage to break their silence about the ugly family secrets which have haunted their lives and even made parenting their own children difficult at best. It is my personal hope that as a human society we will begin to see just how valuable our children really are. They are precious souls who depend on the adults around them to protect them and guide them through to adulthood. Sometimes, as wounded parents, we are triggered throughout different levels of our children’s lives, which then impacts the way we connect with them and see their developing ways. In finding the courage to begin our own healing we  find the ability to positively influence their lives in the manner we wish in our hearts.

Please readers, I do hope that if nothing else touches your heart in all the work we do as an organization; you will empower the many wounded souls you come in contact with to believe they deserve true happiness. However, to achieve that happiness we must first learn that at no time should anyone ever have the power to harm you, condemn you, or trap you in their inflicted pain. Every human being is created for a purpose, but that purpose is NEVER to be the victim of this type of cruelty. You can and will achieve your own healing, your own dreams, your own freedom when you make the decision to end the abuses and harm against you. Make the call to report the offender. Make the call to a resource of support to help you through. You do not have to go through professional counseling to heal the wounds of your trauma. You simply need a friend who will support you in your journey, believe the trauma you’ve endured and the many impacts it has left on your perceptions, lack of boundaries, and the decisions you make.

You can and will achieve your freedom, positively influence and guide your children, become the strong spirit you were intended to be, and most of all find your own path to happiness, but first you must be willing to face the trauma and learn to understand how these types of harm actually leave their own mark on the young developing minds and souls of the child you once were. Grab hold of a hand, take a deep breath, get ready to face the darkest of days; walk the path into your own true light. It may not be perfect, but there is certainly a light on the other side of this harm and you deserve to follow the rainbow of life and love waiting there in your healing journey.

Life is a miracle not to be wasted, you deserve roses in your magical garden!!

Call a resource of help, hope, and healing today!!! You could save your life or the life of someone you know and love. Let no person be trapped in the cruelty and condemnation of abuse, violence, human trafficking or bullying. There is help on the other end of these listed, trusted, and nationally recognized resources. Be your own hero today!!hotlines (2)

You are strong – You are courageous – You are worthy – You are magical

Be safe, live strong, always fly free!!!

youarenotalone

All information published in connection with Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio is protected under the development of our organization and copyright founded Sept. 2012

Patricia A. McKnight

Owner/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Programming

Founder Survivors World Support Group Nov. 2010

Speaker/Trainer/Writer/Radio Host & Producer

Mentor/Peer Counseling/Advocate

Author: ‘My Justice’ – Finally removing the thick coal stained hand that crept in an stole the most powerful weapon of my safety; taking back my power and finally speaking my own truth.

 

 

From The Desk Of Darlene J. Harris- Familial Child Trafficking by Patricia McKnight A Survivor and Advocate

From The Desk Of Darlene J. Harris- Familial Child Trafficking by Patricia McKnight A Survivor and Advocate.

 

A must read for anyone working directly with children. You never know what might happen hidden in the protective cover of family. Learn the silent signs and give a voice to the silenced children today. Thank you for sharing

Trish McKnight

Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio

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artwork courtesy of Michal Madison Art (www.michalmadisonart.com)

Friends it is very difficult and sad to report that at this time it has become necessary for me to suspend our radio broadcasting due to funding. I am no longer able to continue funding this service on my own and donations to support our programming are very few and far between in these difficult economic times. However, I do hope with some new things coming up locally here in my community and also online, that we will be able to resume our broadcasting as a community outreach service of awareness, prevention, and empowerment for others.

In the meantime, I am still here as a mentor, crisis support and of course the Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery mission is still very strong. We will continue reaching out to help others and if all works well with the projects of two new books, then hopefully we will be able to get back into our active, featured, radio broadcasting. Our archive programs will still be available for anyone to access any of our shows which have aired during these past 18 months. It has been incredible to do this and I am grateful for the donations which have come our way. Know that our drive in this mission to protect all beings from harm, build stronger community services for victims, abusers, and families in need, as well as helping personally during time of crisis for others; we are still determined to continue and will never stop believing in the power of recovery.

Please enjoy the many programs we’ve shared by visiting http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio.

You will find hosted programs by myself, Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight (Owner & CEO); Michal Madison; Dr. Brenda Joyce Markert-Green; Rachel Grant (Independent Child Sexual Abuse Expert & Recovery Coach); Faith McDaniel (Volunteer Host of Surviving with Faith).

Hopefully our radio shows have touched your heart & your life in some small way that you now are more conscience of these hidden acts, especially within the protective cover of family. Always remember as you watch the children in your life’s circle, it is proven that 92% of all harmful acts against children are committed by parents & close family members. In truth throughout our country, never forget that as of 2011 1 in 3 children are being harmed at any given moment in our society. The often taught ‘Stranger Danger’ only accounts for 2% of all crimes against children. We must teach our children to report even those who they love most and those responsible for their very survival. There is help, hope, & rescue. Let no child endure the pains of terror, sexual actions, and other such emotional & physical harm. It is the duty of every responsible adult around that child to protect and report what they suspect.

Become your own ‘FAMILY DEFENDER’ and keep this mission moving forward by visiting our website at http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

We thank you for your ongoing support and dedication to protecting all those who have no voice, living trapped in the dominant or trafficking control of the monsters within their circle of life.

Butterfly Dreams Team
Patricia A McKnight, Michal Madison, Linda Walcher, Dr. Brenda Joyce Markert-Green, Kelly Townsend, Julia D’Alphanzo; John L. Mealer; Lynn C Tolson, Petra Luna, Mary Graziano, Debbie Naylor Cox, Faith McDaniel