The voice waiting to be spoken

The past seven years I’ve spoken publicly about my ‘Adverse Childhood Experience’ and the life path of continued tolerance of violence. I’ve been extremely blessed to have made friendships and become a ‘Survivor Voice’ through various task force, trauma training, and community events here in Illinois, but even more so are all the survivors I’ve come to know from around the world and being a Regional Ambassador for National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse, (NAASCA.org).

The most empowering part has only been happening for the past year since the #MeToo movement first began. It’s a change I know almost every survivor of violating/terrorizing trauma is also feeling; a spark deep inside for their own voice to be heard. When I first started speaking about my history, I was repeatedly told; ‘Your story is just too graphic‘. It actually caused a cancellation for Illinois Dept of Health Women’s Health Conference back in 2015.

It’s true. My story is absolutely horrific, but it’s not like I had much choice, especially during my childhood. It was the 70’s and it was a small rural Illinois mining town. There was not anyone who discussed objecting against any parent, much less getting involved. It wasn’t what we were taught and it’s not what our society believed was any of their business, mainly because it was all so normal.

Back then we hadn’t even begun to talk about child sexual abuse or child trafficking, which victims only connected with the term child sharing. I’ve written before about my case possibly being one of the worst cases of child abuse in Illinois history. Some of you may disagree but in owning ‘My Truth’ it’s truly empowering to know we are finally being encouraged to discuss some of the details of our experiences, especially when we are using those experiences in conjunction with the data & research of today, along with the growing numbers of victims/survivors getting involved to help change this dark course of pain.

The wheels of change move ever so slowly but nothing will change without your participation as a society. Now is the time if you have experienced violence, sexual harm or trafficking; it is okay to seek help and discuss the lasting trauma effects. I saw/shared a great post on Facebook; “The poison chalice of pain will be passed through your family until you decide to heal…’. This is so very true as I’ve learned first hand in the experiences of my children and grandchildren. Regardless of how my story is received, it is the absolute best decision I’ve made and I will never regret being the one in my family that stated with relentless determination; ‘I’m done’!!

Since this is my personal blog site, and for anyone who wants to change what the past has taught us, work to become the person you know you are meant to become; I want to encourage you to either reach out to me personally at trish@butterflydreamsalliance.org, visit our website www.butterflydreamsalliance.org or connect with www.naasca.org – help and support is available and we do not have to feel so isolated in our confusion and roller coaster life. All I ask is that you think about it; practice telling yourself in the mirror what happened to you, let the tears flow, and when you’re ready; connect with a support service or another survivor.

Reach out to find services and strategies to help you get stronger while you change the cycle of negative influence in your family. Remember that rebuilding is a very personal process and there is not one particular service or therapist, or survivor advocate who will work for every person. Our personalities, perceptions, resilience, and traumas are different, so having more than one helped me a great deal. However, for me, the greatest tool was the ‘Survivor to Thriver’ program through ASCAsupport.org; in rebuilding find what helps you most. There are thousands across the country.

More than anything else, for every silenced or isolated survivor there is at least one or more who are still victims. By educating about reporting, warning signs, early intervention, family wellness & rebuilding parents; by using our past we can absolutely change the future for our children and I hope that ‘My Justice’ continues to reach into the souls of our society and let them know just how important it is to help save a life while they are still young enough to know what real happiness and life success can be despite the hardships of their journey.

We can’t go back and change our history, but we can absolutely choose where and how we move forward today!! I hope that those who just won in our mid-term elections realizes just how important enhancing trainings and reaching out to create awareness in every small community is the only thing that will change our learned behaviors taught through anger, mental illness, addictions, and tolerated harm.

Thank you for reading. We are here in Clinton County, Illinois and we want to begin our ‘Survivors World’ support group sessions, and we are posting awareness signs throughout the area. If you wish to volunteer or get involved please contact me directly at the email given above.

We are all #StrongerTogether ūüôā

‘Trish’ McKnight

Butterfly Dreams Alliance, NFP

PS – Some of my history as shared with this post of gratitude that somehow I made it through, some way, for whatever reason – I am still alive and I choose to LIVE!!

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Breathe – Change – Live

Are you holding your breath as we wait to hear the final decision about Brett Kavanaugh?

This is a time when survivors are being triggered because as we hear the details of cases come forward; each has its own similarities our history. It is in its true form, ‘Secondary Wounding‘ because we are waiting to see how the future of these types of crimes along with services for survivors and victims will play out. Because survivors either didn’t tell anyone and seek help at the time of the assault against them, or they were children who had no option but to tolerate and adapt to survive; this is why it is ‘Secondary Wounding’. Society doesn’t recognize or concern itself with our being suddenly triggered while driving a car, smelling a certain cologne, or attending a family gathering. We, however, try to bury our panic by the heavy shame we’ve been burdened to feel for decades. It’s been a pattern of behavior that has been the expectation and taught tolerances throughout centuries.

Can our human society see the damage and destruction of these types of offenses? Are we ready to see with compassion while we provide education, awareness, support and early intervention? Let’s use this time to talk with our children and teens to help them understand what types of offenses these are and how no one has a right to harm or use force against another person. We need to educate about what our justice system is expected to provide; prosecution for offenders and punishment for those who falsely accuse, thus making innocent persons victims by overzealous prosecutors who pressure fearful good people into plea deals without evidence of any crime. Can we change our future so that it is equal in the respect for all human life as intended within the writing of our American Constitution and the United Nations Declaration of Human Rights?

The greatest tragedy of our society is that we have passed these distorted gender roles and beliefs, behaviors and reactions throughout centuries. The topic of these offenses is not an issue to be separated by political party lines. It’s not a Democratic, Republican, or Liberal issue; it is a human issue. Our expectations should hold our leaders accountable for their behavior and their history should be above reproach. We cannot have a negative attitude and belief in the tolerances any longer. Our justice leaders with the attitude of ‘good ol’ boy’ behavior should not be the ones determining how we handle prosecution and justice for these crimes.

Remember that politicians are people just like us before they started living a more luxury provided life. We need to stop bashing and shaming people who have been assaulted and harmed by these very serious behaviors. It’s time to realize just how many human beings are dealing with a history of fear from personal violence or attacks. Every leader probably knows or was raised during the past generations of harsh home environments and should, therefore, show compassion and not accept injustice or inequality of any form.

**CDC reports 1 in 4 children affected by some type of harm. Picture the homes around you. Do you suspect or maybe know a neighbor, or family member, maybe see yourself living in a distressful situation? Please get help, for them and for yourself. We deserve to live safe, be safe, and live ‘No Longer Afraid to Breathe’.

Live Strong & Fly Free!!

@ButterflyDreamsAlliance

http://www.butterflydreamsalliance.org

The beginning steps of Human Trafficking

 

 

Exciting News – Welcome to Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery!!!

rainbow butterfly dreamsFriends, Advocates, Organizations, Foundations, Survivors 

All are Welcome!!!

Today I’d like to make the official announcement of my next step in this journey.

Founder; Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

You are invited to visit the new website and check out the information. You will find the ‘Welcome’ page to enlighten on what is happening here. There are hundreds of worthy, devoted, trusted organizations and foundations building change for our next generation. Now I’ve used my thirty-two years in horrifying abuse, violence, attempted murderous acts against me, to help bring empowerment and healing to others.

With great pride I can say I’ve truly made it through a positive path to freedom and have made some amazing connections along the way. Now I’d like to take all of those Advocates/Bloggers/Foundations & Organizations and share them as resources to help all survivors find their own healing path.

For those who know me, you know my heart and where my truth lies; I’m focused in this mission to bring an end to Family Violence and Abuse against those we should love, support, and guide. I am also determined to bring some sense of understanding the impact of these personal violations, helping others to heal and find their true path to freedom.

Its important to understand these actions against those closest to us have existed since the beginning of mankind as a struggle to power over another. I’ve shared my voice many times, throughout published articles, interviews, blogtalk¬†radio broadcasts and more about the generational acceptance and pattern of trained behaviors, which have grown to program our ever-growing violent society.

Now I’ve joined up with my dear friend and talented Watercolor Artist, Michal Madison; as we build¬†Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery. It is very exciting to look at the upcoming year and where our footsteps will lead us next. We are bringing a new broadcast program to the many others on blog talk radio programming!!! Look for more information to come as we approach January 3rd, 2013.

There is¬†tons of information I’ve shared as my own healing¬†and coping tools, which you are invited to view on the separate pages of the new site. You will also find an excellent collection of resources provided to help you research your best path. There are many different ways to connect with the emotions of all that’s happened, many ways to express these trapped nightmares so that we may begin to walk in freedom¬†and inspire others to choose their new life.¬†On the¬†‘Resources’ page you will find many whom¬†you can depend¬†on for help, guidance, support, understanding and ways to heal. You will also find¬†‘Radio World’ a resource collection of other blog talk radio programs¬†from those devoted¬†advocates sharing news, information, interviews and tools.

You will also¬†find¬†‘Generation No More’ this is¬†the beginning of our children’s tomorrow. We are the generation now speaking out of these horrors to prevent it happening again. As we share our stories there is another victim who is given a voice. Another broken soul who is hearing your words,¬†which empowers them with the comfort in numbers to feel safe.¬†On this page you are asked to sign the guest book, share your non-profit org or foundation, share your local resources so our list can continue to grow. We are all in this together and only mankind can create a better way of living, a safer home for everyone; this may be the only cure for this growing plague of man-made cancer eating away at our society!!!

Along with this new website is the online support group I founded back in January 2011, Survivors World!!! This online group is open to both men and women who have been victims of some form of abuse or violence against them. You can join in conversations, connect with others like yourself, learn to be empowered in your life. Always believe in the happiness you deserve and never give up on the hope for tomorrow. It is through believing in our recovery that will help you move forward. Be empowered to join in with others as we take¬†‘Survivors World’ online to help support everyone impacted by these generational crimes against those within the¬†walls of¬†our homes.

Our children are depending on us to give them something better. We all have¬†made a committment to provide them a better way than we were given. It is by healing from the abuses against us that each of us¬†begins to understand how our puzzle got so busted and our brains rewired through the abrupt interruption¬†of our ‘normal’ growth and development. These crimes leave a lifelong impact¬†with deep emotional wounds. When we understand how PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Self Destructive¬†Behaviors and more affect our daily lives; then we can use our coping skills to help us get through to tomorrow.

What can you do to help? Simply, GET THE WORD OUT!!!

I am so excited to begin this new journey and provide all I can to help others. Michal and I are getting more and more excited about the upcoming New Year of 2013 and the beginning of our broadcasting. As you may also¬† know however, I don’t do very well at marketing myself or what I’ve got to share. My mission is to be active in helping others so I don’t do much at promoting, such as with ‘My Justice’ you may notice you see very little in promotions on this.

‘My Justice’ has been highly rated and reviewed by¬†Psychology Professionals, Authors, Survivors, Educators, Highly Praised Attorneys, and of course many of you. In fact, there has yet to be one person who isn’t deeply touched in some way by this story. Yet I rarely share their reviews, feel guilty when I give myself praise of any form; another lasting impact from the many years of being emotionally broken down to believe I was unworthy of human kindness by anyone. This is a daily process for any survivor as you well know.

So how do I expect my work and my continued efforts to be noticed? By the support, friendship, and word of mouth marketing from all of you!!! It is you who have read the story, perhaps you want to pass the book on to another? It is you who connect and share your powerful stories with me in trust and safety, so you know my devotion. It is you who responds and shares of how you were inspired by something I did or said in some way!!! This my friends to me is phenomenal!!!

It is¬†your support and your word of mouth that I trust and believe in!!! If anything I do is worth recognizing or believing, then you will pass it on to another and hopefully they too will be inspired to believe in their true freedom. It is with all voices talking that it will all make a difference and be recognized for the truth we provide and the hope we give to our children; humanity’s only hope in bringing a break to the cycle of what has been so commonly accepted as normal!!!

Please visit the new site; http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

Live in your positive truth!!!

Freedom is a path we all deserve!!

Your healing begins as your cocoon opens;

the wings to your soul spread;

fly into your new beginning!!!

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

http://www.michalmadisonart.com

Resources:

ASCA.org; Naasca.org; Overcomingsexualabuse.com; incestsurvivors.webs.com; stopabusingyourchildren.com; survivingspirit.com; mskinnermusic.com; plunafoundations.org; sisfi.org; togetherweheal.wordpress.com – blogtalkradio.com; Viga Boland, Mary E. Graziano, Patricia Caldwell – Singleton, Annie O’Sullivan, Jan Frayne, Sharon Newkirk Wells, Lynn C. Tolson, Mary Ann Goughler, I CARE Foundation, Peter Thomas Senese — Hopefully you will help share this exciting new site!!!!