Mike Domitrz w/ Date Safe Project on Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio

TONIGHT ON BUTTERFLY DREAMS TALK RADIO – SURVIVORS WORLD WELCOMES – MIKE DOMITRZ – DATE SAFE PROJECT

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery/2013/10/19/butterfly-dreams-w-mike-domitrz–date-safe-project

How can we teach ourselves & our teens about SAFE DATING & RELATIONSHIPS if we do not have a clue or we have some broken parts inside which keep us from being our own best self. Let’s talk together on this to help us all to Live Strong & Fly Free!!

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Tonight I have the great honor of interviewing an incredible man & educator of our children, Mr. Mike Domitrz Fndr of ‘DATE SAFE PROJECT’ – Please gather your teens up for this #SURVIVORS – You know most of us have NO CLUE what a healthy relationship is, better yet how to show our kids or teach them to respect & appreciate each other as a person. How in the world can we teach what we do not know?
Tonight beginning @9pm eastern, you can listen in or chat live with the expert himself,@MikeDomitrz w/@DateSafeProject!!! Let’s teach ourselves and ask our kids to join us in the learning experience. This is an amazing opportunity so set your REMINDER through this link and perhaps invite just one friend to share it as well. Thank you all so very much for supporting #ButterflyDreamsAbuseRecovery in this journey. We are a ‘FEATURED’ radio broadcast on the blog talk radio network. 🙂 http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery/2013/10/19/butterfly-dreams-w-mike-domitrz–date-safe-project

So what is the problem here???

Please forgive me if this post seems a bit gruff or harsh, I surely do not intend for it to be disrespectful in any form.

What in the world is going on here???????

This morning I’m waking up and catching the early morning St. Louis local news broadcast, which I always do, with an excellent team I enjoy @KMOV News 4. Once again they did a wonderful job in bringing attention to 2 local area recent ATTEMPTED CHILD ABDUCTIONS by a predator. They also focused a few moments on sex abuse, which once again a victim of a coach is coming forward to speak up about what happened seventeen years ago while under the coach’s direction.

I am so proud of the silent victims who find the courage to speak up about any case of sexual abuse. It is a truly SILENT CRIME. Molestation leaves NO PHYSICAL WOUNDS to show the child has been touched, fondled, violated. Oral Sexual Abuse leaves NO PHYSICAL WOUNDING for us to see; something to confirm right off the bat our child has been harmed. Sexual abuse of children in this form is just the beginning for a pedophile, if not caught early on, the abuse could last for 10 years or more. This is the need we have now to teach our children the power of their voice and speak up when they are being violated by these acts, NO MATTER WHO THE OFFENDER MIGHT BE!!!

Back to the direct topic, about the victim who is speaking out against the coach who abused them and the media coverage of these cases….

Now I absolutely do not have a problem supporting the media finally bringing attention to this topic, it is most definitely about time. The issue I thought of as I listened was simply this;

Why is it that when a victim comes forward about an abduction or another person who had charge of them and then abused that power, our media is more than happy to share? However, when it is a victim coming forward about a childhood filled with nightmarish abuse and evil sadistic attacks by their parent(s) – NOT ONE PUBLIC TELEVISION NEWS WANTS TO BE THE ONE TO REPORT THAT STORY????

Sadly our society knows inside, that this type of abuse happened for many children decades ago, and still today, ON A CONSTANT BASIS!!! Their homes which should be filled with laughter and love of family, are turned into a whirlwind of degradation, violent attacks, threats with weapons, and the worst of continuous sexual contact. The abusive acts are suspected by others or witnessed by others, but then dismissed or discounted; minimized so the child will remain silent and believe they are crazy for acting out. Even on a deeper level of predator control; their lives or the lives of other family members or pets may be threatened with death if the child speaks up, or we will lose our home, our family will be torn apart and it will all be YOUR FAULT. This is the truth about what the daily abused child lives with and what many hundreds of us as adults, parents & grandparents now, are finally trying to break down the barriers of family silence about these acts and give the survivors comfort to heal, resources to help mend their broken lives.

Why do we NOT want to bring media attention to these types of cases?

Well it is this survivors opinion that because this type of abuse and evil violent attacks have touched so many of our lives in the past. Many of us have become numb to these cases because it runs so deep within our past generations. Many more of us believe that if we bring this type of evil to the surface it will invade our family and then what will we do?

I’m asking, as I always do, that survivors of these past types of childhood attacks find the courage to break their silence and allow the media to draw attention to the vast numbers of beings we represent as a whole. We are an estimated 50 to 60 Million Survivors Strong so you will NOT STAND ALONE as you speak up. Those around you may not wish to hear your toxic words, but until we can make these types of cases a fact in our society and teach everyone the importance of protecting their family circle; then how can we expect our children who are living in this constant threat from their parents to ever find the courage to speak up?

I, and many millions of others, know how harmful these heavy secrets can be to a person’s emotional state and how years of accepting these personally violating attacks day after day will take away the value you should feel about yourself. It traps you in believing it doesn’t matter; many victims find themselves trained into a continuing pattern of acceptance and maybe even harming their own children?

When will the vast majority of these cases be a sign that we need to do something about it now? When will these horrifying stories of vicious incest and even the common practice of handing our children off for someone else to violate, be as important in the media as the cases of the coaches, pastors, scout leaders and others such persons of society? These are the ugly truths that must be brought forward in order to help change what we have always passed on to our children.

Don’t get me wrong here, we must continue to teach our children to defend against a predator from outside the family circle, but when will we also empower them to believe it is just as important to see that ANYONE, even your parents, can be a predator??

I am a strong voice against the abuse or violence against any other being, but my focus is directed at the attacks which happen inside our homes every second of every day!!! When we empower society to end the tolerance of these types of abuses, then we can truly begin to feel we are making a huge change to influence a safer world for our kids. They will be the ones to pass on the knowledge, the human behaviors we teach them, the socially acceptable practices we drill into their heads every day, this is what they will be teaching their children.

What happens when we continue to teach silence about the acts of sexual, physical, or emotional harm that happens within their family unit? We get yet another generation infected with a higher rate of premature death; heart & pulmonary conditions; other health related issues both physical and emotional. Is this what we want to pass on in their lives, so that they are broken parents who then influence their children with emotional harm or worse?

It is my hope that if you read this blog, you pass it on to another, and then another. It’s not about fame or attention, it is about passing it on to empower another survivor, who was once a child victim, to believe in their voice and the courage they carry inside to break down those cage like walls then finally walk free from these life impacting wounds today. Join with me and many hundreds more as we share our voices to empower children today. Join us in letting kids who are being harmed at this very moment, to know there is a life outside of these attacks and they too will one day break free to begin their own path in life, they will have freedom & safety when they use their voice to end the constant abuses.

It is also my hope that our country’s media resources begin revealing the ongoing numbers of parental victims of vicious childhood abuses who are sharing their stories to enlighten, empower, and educate society today; hoping they can make a difference in saving just one child from this lifelong pain of secrets.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, please help me share this message. Again I am not condemning our media or the many victims of society’s abuses who are speaking up today, I am merely hoping that someone will help bring focus to the daily attacks that happen within our homes, killing the souls of men, women & children every second of every day!!!

 

Visit the website for Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery to find out how you too can take back control and feel your strength to break free and finally find the path to your own true happiness. Find me through many social networking platforms @triciagirl62

Founder/Exec. Director, Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Programming.

Assist. Director: Michal Madison (Watercolor Artist for the Abused)

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**Don’t forget to grab your copy of ‘My Justice’ today!! When you purchase this memoir of a tortured life who finally finds the love she’s longed for to protect and give her strength, you support our ongoing community outreach programs of empowerment and education against these types of abuses.**

***You can find ‘My Justice’ through most online book resources; Amazon, Barne’s & Noble, Authorhouse.com. If you wish to try it out first, because it is one truly powerful read which may cause a lot of emotional reactions especially for survivors, YOU CAN READ THE FIRST FIVE CHAPTERS FREE before you purchase. I assure you it’s a page turner which everyone should be reading. As quoted in many reviews received ‘A compelling story which strikes such a deep impacting nerve you want to stand up and scream as you walk the path of this incredible survivor’. You can find many of the reviews for ‘My Justice’ along with marvelous testimonials for Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio and the growing website resources by visiting our direct link above.***

You deserve roses in your garden of life

Always

Live Strong & Fly Free

©Patricia A. McKnight

©Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery 2012

 

Please tell me why this is not a crucial point of attention!

Child Abuse Prevention & Sexual Assault Awareness

So I’m a bit angry; why you might ask?

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There is actually a couple of answers to this question.

1) Another year has come and gone in which not a single politician or lawmaker who has the power to call attention to the ongoing Child Abuse and Family Violence within our society has been willing to make it a public issue.

2) April is upon us and although there are many great events planned throughout this special month, the problem I have comes down to this;

Why in the hell do we not honor Sexual Assault Awareness Month and Child Abuse Prevention Month with their own specific month?

This is a topic I briefly addressed last night on Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Talk Radio and one I will share more with you today.

You see it bothers me that we don’t feel these two issues are worthy of having their own special month, so we join them together and address the issue as a whole rather than in the honor they so very much deserve.

As a survivor of both very horrific child physical, emotional, neglectful, and sexual abuse, which also included exploitation and trafficking within my own small hometown community; I’m also a RAPE SURVIVOR!! (Of course there are also the 20 years spent living in almost deadly relationship violence in my lifetime as well)

In our society we have problems talking about the crimes of family violence, child sexual abuse, molestation and the like. For some reason it is something we still consciously choose to keep in the dark; whisper about but don’t accept publicly. This is an outrage because of the millions, estimated at some 40 to 60 million, who are survivors now living and struggling with the aftermath and trying to be accepted in society. However, to be accepted we must not speak of what’s happened in our past. We mustn’t discuss the dark family secrets simply because of the shame it could bring to the family dynasty. REALLY?

How good are the morals of that so called dynasty if we are raping and beating; torturing our children? What is the quality of mankind’s decency if we are forcing survivors of these most vicious and heinous acts to remain silent and fear public and family abandonment? Why is it still so the norm to put the blame of these acts against children who could not defend themselves nor run from their attacker?

These same ugly secrets and fears apply to those who have been raped as adults. However, I will say the response to admitting you are a rape victim is a bit more tender than that of a childhood rape survivor. I truly do not understand this on any level!!!

Our society and our justice system has shown that we still blame the rape victim, no matter how old they are. This was seen just recently in the Steubenville, Ohio rape trial. However, as we’ve also seen, the community has rallied around the victim and let her know she is not in this alone. We are outraged by the minimal sentencing of these perpetrators and the lack of prosecuting those who witnessed, recorded, and posted pictures and discussions about the young men carrying this victim because she was too drunk to walk. We are talking to our kids about the right and wrong of this and I’ve seen many great articles and blogs written from various survivors and others.

Please do not take me wrong, I am most definitely 100% behind the victims whose cases of gang rape and various other attacks have come to our public attention lately. Thank goodness we are beginning to rally behind them rather than turn away.

I ask you though;

What in the hell is so different about these cases of rape we’ve heard about lately and those who are coming forward about the childhood filled with years of brutal attacks of rape, trafficking, and truly physical torture beyond the darkest of imagination?

Also, permit me to add, we rally behind and acknowledge the many long term issues of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Anxiety and more which our war heroes and the recent public rape victims are left to carry. There are continuously more and more psychologists and others with organizations such as National Institute of Mental Health and our Center for Disease Control and Prevention who have conducted studies on the after effects of both war and sexual assault. These studies have concluded that the trauma of both of these life threatening personal situations and attacks leave the same lasting emotional scars.

On this note;

How do you think these lasting effects of trauma and life threatening attacks impact the lives of the many childhood rape survivors today? What is the big difference between supporting and gathering our voices for the war heroes and veterans, the recent rape victims and others, verses the many millions of child rape and abuse survivors who are still forced to hide in the shadows of our society? How is this right on any level of our decency?

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The day will come when we can begin to change the acts of abuse and violence within our homes. It will become a force to be reckoned with as we begin to support those who are sharing their stories today. The problem however, is that it’s not happening fast enough for the many millions of children who are living in the hell now!! The recent collection of Child Maltreatment Reports from the nationwide Child Protective Services; shows a grand total of 3,734,012 reports of child abuses reported in 2011. This is just one year. The Federal Children’s Bureau is presently looking at reports collected from 2007 through 2011 to update our present statistics shared, which were collected and officially reported in 1996.

If we cannot recognize the very importance of this issue and address it head on as a joined and united society, then what are we passing on to our children? Are we showing them we care and want them to have the best if we still are not willing to acknowledge the severity of the issues and how prevalent the acts of abuse and violence truly are in the homes around us?

I understand that by acknowledging the voices from the past we have to accept what we may have witnessed and allowed to exist. We have to accept that some of mankind’s darkest attacks on others happen within our own homes or within those homes of our neighbors. We have to accept that we may have heard the screams for mercy or the horrific cries of a child and did nothing. We have to accept that mothers and fathers, brothers, sisters and close family friends have all seen or been party to these heinous acts, but stood by and did nothing for these children. It’s a lot to accept and I get that, truly I do. I am one of those many who had an entire community, school system, law enforcement, family friends, school mates and others who all witnessed, took part in, or knew of the many attacks from my stepfather. They also watched as I physically rotted away in the disfiguring neglect because of my mother’s lack of even the slightest of human kindness or caring for this one specific daughter.

It’s an ugly situation we are faced with, but we must absolutely act on it now. This month of April; this dedicated month for Sexual Assault Awareness and Child Abuse Prevention cannot be another dismissed month without the attention of our politicians, lawmakers, and those in our society with the power to change our laws and create a stronger united front of education and prevention on these issues. Those who have the power to rescue our kids. Those in our communities who know these families living in this type of hell and do nothing;

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WE ABSOLUTELY NEED EVERYONE ON THIS NOW!!! OUR CHILDREN LIVES, THEIR FUTURE, THEIR WELL BEING, THEIR HOPE FOR LIVING SAFE IN THIS WORLD; ABSOLUTELY DEPENDS ON US ACCEPTING ALL OF THESE UGLY TRUTHS AND RALLYING BEHIND THE MANY VOICES SPEAKING TO EDUCATE AND ELIGHTEN US ON THE HELL OF BEING ONE OF THESE CHILDHOOD NIGHTMARE SURVIVORS!!

If we continue to wear our blinders and pretend not to notice how many are being harmed every single moment of every single day, then we will never be able to stop this horrific man-made cancer that is eating away at the very soul of our existence as a human race. It is crucial that the topic of child abuse and family violence become a common discussion and one that we all are willing to address. It is no longer about what has happened to so many of us or how ugly these acts are, but more instead about how we can learn to be aware of these truths, support these victims and survivors, help provide resources and recovery systems for families and victims, as well to speak to each and every school system and child about the voice they have and how to use it to protect someone they feel is in danger of an attack within their own home.

It is a horrible truth to accept and discuss, but what is the outcome if we continue on the path we are today? Simply put, it will continue. Sure we are a society that is slowly becoming more vigilant about what we see and hear around us, but we are nowhere near where we should be on this issue. What is so damn difficult about this? Why don’t our politicians and lawmakers address this in their speeches and their election platforms?

Why is it so taboo to say: I am a childhood rape survivor?

Isn’t the nurturing and overall safety of our children an issue that all of us in society can rally around today? Tell me please what is the difference between understanding the danger within our homes, supporting those who have gone through decades of self destructive and sometimes suicidal endings; when will we be strong enough to accept our faults, push aside our generational teachings of silence, and finally step up to the plate to defend each and every child from the evil that lurks within their home?

As much as I hope this write up catches the attention of every human being, it is simply my prayer that we will learn to accept what’s happened in our past and use it as an education towards what we need to end in their future!!!

Please do something now and make the issue of child abuse and family violence prevention a topic which all of us can share over a cup of coffee or during lunch with a friend. We can do this and teach our kids there is no shame in being an abuse survivor. Instead, there is hope and great courage in using your voice to speak out and seek help!!

Thank you for reading and I do hope you’ll share!!

© Patricia A. McKnight

Author: ‘My Justice’

Advocate/Speaker/Talk Radio Prod. & Host/Survivor

Founder: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery

http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

Artwork courtesy of: Michal Madison Art

http://www.michalmadisonart.com

The Town Who Chose to Abandon the Child

Each day I am usually contacted by a survivor of Child Rape, Molestation, Brutal Physical Abuse, Emotional Battery, and even severe Neglect. It breaks my heart to know there are so many of us, especially since I always felt so isolated and alone in my recovery journey. To know that in truth there are an estimated 40 to 60 Million of us in society today who are now parents and grandparents trying to make up for what our emotional scars have passed on to our own children while we try to watch out for the children around us now.

There are many layers of recovery that we must work through and if you are one of the millions who are still struggling through the aftermath, you know exactly what this means. For me the abuse encompassed all forms; from severe disfiguring neglect to spiritual and religious abuse, to trafficking and forced involvement with many different grown men and young teen boys who I also attended school with each day.

“Crazy to think these many young boys were threatened to take part in either raping me or lining up while I was ordered to perform oral sex on them. The next day when I saw them at school however, they would whisper, tease, point and be disgusted by the very sight of me, but ot once ever spoke up about what they were ordered to take part in the weekend or night before.”

This past Tuesday I had a therapy appointment and as I was preparing myself all morning as to where I wanted to direct my discussion that day, the hour long drive to her office filled my head with the swirling tornado of anger and memories. By the time I arrived at her office I was such an emotional wreck all I could do was walk in circles in the closed little office and shake violently at the prospect of talking. There was a fire of anger inside and I honestly did not know how to begin the sentence and explain to her what was wrong. Thankfully she is a marvelous well trained and expert in Trauma Recovery Therapy and we’ve been working together almost six years now. T^o say the least however, she was still a bit shocked at my actions and when I broke down on the floor in tears she knew that whatever was going on inside was eating at me and we had to break the wall to get through.

The anger was billowing up from the gates of hell where I had trapped it many years ago. I honestly believed I had worked through all the anger issues and had nothing left inside to be angry about. I guess as I have been talking on the radio with my guests, co-host and the wonderful growing number of listeners, it seems the hellish nightmares started churning and things I didn’t think I felt any anger about came pounding down like a hard cold slap in the face.

“If you know or love a survivor or if you are a survivor; know that our emotions buried from the trauma continue to invade our present day lives because of the many layers of mental destruction caused by the attacks.”

To share with others of this new emotional breakdown, those of you who know this buried pain and how we try to avoid going back to our dark reality; this new layer of anger is aimed at the entire community who made a conscious decision to ignore and watch as a beautiful little girl rotted in the evil of her home. The town is Freeburg, Illinois, where I spent nine years of my life, living through the very worst of all the torture and blatant neglect, the trafficking and the beating. The town was a small coal mining community back then made up of farmer and miners and totaling about 1500, according to our population sign shared on the ‘Welcome to the Village of Freeburg’ that was posted at either end of the main road, Highway #15, which ran through the middle of our small little nest.

“Oh how I try to erase all of the connections to my past. My life is so good now and it has only been truly safe since about April 2002. There are days however when I just can’t turn up the music loud enough to drown out the thunder of emotions and dark horrific memories.”

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Now I know times were much different back then, after all I grew up there between 1971 and when I first left home it was 1979, then finally left the area for 20 years in 1983; not ever moving back to that community. I can’t even drive through it without having a major panic attack, but back to what I was saying.

According to PDF report, attached here, written by John E.B. Meyers, he gives an excellent break down of our country’s Child Protection Act and it’s origin.

To quote just a few bits & pieces here;

1) In the forty years between the economic panic of the 1890s and the great depression of the 1930s; the devolvement and growth of social work became a recognized profession.

2) Organized child protection emerged after the 1874 rescue of 9 year old, Mary Ellen Wilson, who lived with her guardians in New York City’s Hells Kitchen.

3) The 1960s witnessed an explosion of interest in child abuse and physicians played a key role. It was pediatrician Henry Kempe and his colleagues that published the block buster article, ‘The Battered Child Syndrome’, which played a leading role to bringing child abuse to national attention throughout the 1960s and 1970s. It was after this publication that media outlets started filling their publications with stories of maltreatment. A Newsweek article titled ‘When They’re Angry….’ quoted this:

    “For every child who enters the hospital badly beaten there must be hundreds more treated by unsuspecting doctors. The Battered Child’s Syndrome isn’t a reportable disease, but it damn well ought to be.”

4) The Social Security Act amendments of 1962 gave way to the following shared by Vincent De Francis in 1967:

     “In additions to sharpening the focus on child protection, the 1962 amendments required all states to pledge that by July 1, 1975, they would make child welfare services available statewide.”

5) The first four child abuse reporting laws were enacted in 1963 and by 1967 all states had reporting laws. As the reporting laws went into effect the prevalence and child abuse and neglect came into focus. By 1974, some 60,000 were reported, by 1980 the reports climbed to 1,000,000; by 1990 they topped 2,000,000 and since 2000 they have been hovering above 3,000,000.**In 2011 there was a total of 3,712,034 reports of child maltreatment, but only about (1/3) of them were actually handled and processed through our child protective services system.** per Federal Children’s Bureau reports from all 52 states collective CPS reporting systems.

6) In 1977, Henry Kempe, gave a lecture in which he described: ‘sexual abuse of children and adolescents is another hidden pediatric problem and hidden area.’

It is this author’s determination that while I’ve tried to excuse the problem of ignorance throughout the school officials and the community in which I grew up, you can clearly see that in the early 1960s child abuse and sexual abuse of children was becoming a nation wide media and governmental issue. You can also clearly see that each state had a least four mandated reporting laws in effect as early as 1963.

“So for the officials who were required by law to report and help the abused children they witnessed, what the hell happened to me towns people of Freeburg?”

The first and most prominent of the Red Flags I was displaying, was the severe blatant neglect. Our family had the very best healthcare coverage available then, that which was paid for by United Mine Workers Union of America. There was absolutely no our of pocket cost  at all for care. Many may remember how strong the Mine Worker’s Union was in the 1970’s. These people took baseball bats, axe handles and fists to their meeting and brawls were common with many having to go for medical treatment. Our town, Freeburg, had these such meetings because Peabody Coal, Riverking Underground #1 was the lifeblood of the community.

Now although I was suffering in the many sadistic sexual attacks from my stepfather, and yes I know that sexual abuse rarely displays any noticeable physical signs; there are still many silent signs the victims display without being fully aware of what these actually reflect.

In school my silent warning signs were like huge beams of light searching for hope of rescue. My grades went from A’s and B’s to D’s and F’s. My homework was rarely completed, but the teachers always seemed to make note of that fact and ridicule me in front of the other students.

“Are you dumb or just lazy Patricia? Boy how I”d love to have told them that I didn’t get it done because I got beaten for two hours because I put on the heavy pajamas to protect me from his roaming hands or I was busy cooking, caring for my sister, and had to spend the evening being raped by a shotgun barrel.”

Of course we all know the shame attached to this type of abuse, so it is rare that a child will ever break that silence; especially if they are being badgered and belittled by an adult. All the red flags were waving high in the sky around me. My plaque covered, never brushed, broken black fanged teeth. The rotting flesh covered with crusted filth and infected sores. The heavy stench of body odor and the unwashed stinking gym uniform was all visible to those around me, but still not one single person, no teacher, school nurse, or other school official ever questioned my care in any form. They all watched me fail at everything, they avoided any discussions or physical contact at all. The memories I have of school are all clouded by the many years of trying to hide from the world the ugliness that was now seeping from my soul and covered my flesh.

When I share that it was the entire community, I do mean all the family friends who came to our house for various reasons; the adult men who attended the late night parties which I was ordered to be hostess, toy and child drunk they could feel up and play finger games with as stepfather watched on in enjoyment and mother’s cold eyes as she walked into her bedroom and closed the door. She permitted him to use me however and whenever he chose. I was taken on their dates and fed alcohol while he tried to find a man to entertain my mother so he could teach me how to slow dance. I was taught very young, just 11, when we first went out to the bar and I was ordered to shake my ass about and use my body to entice the grown men around me.

Then of course I can’t leave out the neighbors and local police. I can’t even remember all the parties we had with drunken teenagers and cases of beer or the half barrel stored outside to keep cold. Kids walking in and out, my little sister got in the habit of charging them a dime to use the bathroom and it was a joke as too how much money she actually made at each of these events. The times when Mother took her along for weekend excursions, but left me behind to take care of the house and of course her husband.

“This is my time away and I won’t be bothered with you coming along.”

Each time she went away she would go around to the local corner bars and warn them each not to give stepfather whiskey because she couldn’t trust him not to kill her kids while she was away. Every time she came home I was covered with bruises and had to spend at least 6 to 10 hours cleaning up the mess from the fights that always broke out. Usually it was because a boy that didn’t want to take me in the next room and screw my brains out stood up and said ‘No’ to him. It could have been the nights that he got angry because I had a boyfriend so I didn’t want to do what he ordered from me.

The neighbors and the police all knew of these many parties, you can’t keep anything in a small town quiet. The folks on our street got a birds eye view of him dragging me across the road by the fist full of hair, or getting beaten in the middle of the street with his fist; perhaps the midnight dash out of the house trying to find a safe place to hide after my brothers had taken off and left me there with his raging temper. There was always some type of explosion at our house and the temper of stepfather was well known to everyone.

As I talked with my therapist the other day, she asked me what I would say to the community of Freeburg and the many who watched me be handed out and rot in this hell. I would actually love to have an article published to share my anger with them. It was suggested by her the following:

“Everyone in that town should be REQUIRED to read your book so they could feel what you lived through and hopefully open their eyes to what they so blatantly ignored.”

In truth I know I wasn’t the only child in that town that suffered the abuses of their parents, but not once have I ever met anyone else who had rotted like I did or been left so severely scarred, both physically and emotionally, in such an extreme nature. To be perfectly honest however, the words I would like to say to them could only be screamed and would be so foul that it would just lower me to their mentality, so I’ll use this writing instead to express the trapped emotions. Hopefully this will help me shed another layer of pain and begin a new light of healing.

Our society is so judgment of everyone who seems to be poor or less worthy. Our society disregards even the children of those adults who they feel are unfit. Our society damns all who have contact with such families. Our human society has no empathy, respect or tenderness for the many in our country who do not live according to their beliefs and morals.

To all of society I ask you; What morals do you have when you turn away from these vicious acts against children committed by their parents and the family friends each and every day in our country? When our Federal Children’s Bureau has reports of the statistics on these crimes and in our present day world full of information, emergency response system, federal and state child maltreatment reporting mandates, but you still use the age old ‘UNFIT’ status quo to pass your judgment on who should and shouldn’t receive your attention and who deserves to receive help or rescue. The poor of our society are not all bad parents, in fact, the reports show that the largest account for child abuse in our country is the White Middle Class who account for 43.9% of all the reported 3,712,034 calls for help to Children’s Protective Services.

“How do these reality checks make you feel now about the moral standards of mankind?”

Every soul is born with purpose, let no one keep you down by their judgment. Dream and chase those dreams, put forth the effort and no one can hold you back. No matter what the past has taught you, tomorrow is a new day and a new chance to create, build, achieve!!

~~Always Live Strong & Fly Free~~

Patricia A. McKnight

Author: ‘My Justice’

Advocate/Speaker/Writer/Talk Radio Prod & Host/Survivor

Founder: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Brdcstng.

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

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