Voices InJustice Radio – School is back in session – Education in America 08/16 by Voices InJustice Radio | Current Events Podcasts

Voices InJustice Radio – School is back in session – Education in America 08/16 by Voices InJustice Radio | Current Events Podcasts.

Set your reminder friends, TEACHERS, PARENTS & TEENS – You’re invited to join in as we open the discussion about our American Educational System!! What are your concerns as kids return to school? Are their Racial Issues; Low Income Meals; After School Activities; Are kids getting a positive learning environment with the support from teachers & school officials? Do you worry about teachers possibly harming or sexually approaching your child? Would they tell you if it happened? School Violence is on the increase and today’s children deal with constant harassment, bullying, and online condemnation everyday. Their struggles today are unlike any other generation, are you prepared and do you have a relationship which encourages your child or teen to openly discuss their challenges? JoinPatricia A. Mcknight live Sunday evening at 9pm central time for your Voices InJustice discussing our American School Systems. Don’t forget to invite your friends & family to call in live or join the chatroom discussion. There’s a lot we need to address to ensure ALL CHILDREN & FAMILIES are given the open support they deserve to protect our children’s education. Looking forward to hearing music by Marc Joseph Ludeman!!!

Won’t you be sure to join us??

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Prisoner of War;The hell inside the house down the street -Passing the ‘Family Terrorist Act’ – ‘Trecia’s Law’

Friends & all person’s affected by the ‘Family Terrorist’ please read this blog. Help us gather 1000 more signatures to support passing this  law. Please think of all those who endure ‘terror’ inside their homes everyday, just waiting for a chance to grow up enough and escape the repeated attacks against them or other family members. We cannot leave our children inside the care of these types of abusers. Hold the attacker responsible for the constant imposed fear or impending thoughts of doom. Help us by inviting those you know to sign this petition.

Friends & visitors to this site and blog, may find some of its content to be disturbing or triggering of their own emotional wounding. Please be cautious of your responses to what is shared, particularly if you were once a person trapped inside a home filled with horror. If you find yourself reminded of your own troubling past, please go to something more pleasant to relieve the debilitating thoughts.

You might first think, ‘She used the word debilitating about a blog?’

Yes, indeed I did. You see the subject of being a ‘Prisoner of War’ stuns us and evokes emotions from within our deepest recess. Instantly we feel compassion for those #veterans who endured any form of this meaning. However; this particular writing isn’t about our typical Prisoners of War. Its not about the courageous men & women who go off to fight our country’s battles and are suddenly taken captive by the opposing soldiers.This is something even more horrifying; something many of us normally wouldn’t consider when thinking in terms of battle or being held prisoner. This is about the child prisoners who are held captive, many of them terrorized for years without ever revealing the truth to the outside world. We see these survivors walking around in our society everyday, in every walk of life, but we may never know just how much they have suffered or what battles they are still fighting as a direct result of the emotional trauma left in the aftermath of their hell. There may be many who read this and never connect the dots of their suffering to any form of harm they may have witnessed or personally endured during their young years. Sadly, they are still blaming themselves for the dysfunction or turmoil they feel inside, or for the lack of being able to connect with their own children. They are searching for the path to achieve the peace they dream of in their adult relationships, but it always seems to be beyond their grasp.

For them I would like to say, ‘This is NOT your fault!!’

These past ten years we have learned a lot about the emotional trauma of our returning veterans and endured trauma from the house down the street. Studies have been done to look inside the impacts of child maltreatment, witnessed violence, or even the acts of bullying from childhood peers. Experts in mental health treatment have been documenting and reviewing what these types of actions, or witnessed actions against another being, can do to our psyche. They have worked with patient after patient, noting the similarities of these private traumas.

‘What have they learned from these studies and the many thousands of cases unreported or even spoken about for decades?’

The link I’ve attached here discusses Complex P.T.S.D. Syndrome.

“In DSM-IV field trials, Roth et al (1997) found that complex PTSD is associated with the experience of prolonged exposure to trauma (i.e. over days, months or years), and first exposure at an early age. Complex PTSD is also associated with prolonged interpersonal victimization, such as battering by a partner, torture or prisoner-of-war experiences, and child abuse.”

I believe this is one of the best informational resources on this subject. You will see they share here those who usually end up with this type of diagnosis. These are those who have endured the worst of mankind’s actions, those who have been held prisoner during wartime and those who are a different kind of prisoner, they have been prisoners within their home!! Those who were tortured, terrorized, sold or traded, imposed threats against their person for years and the actual evil inflicted or forced against them with no way to protect themselves or a way to escape the perpetrator. Many endured years of painful acts against them, then they were brainwashed to believe they somehow deserved it; to believe it was their fault they were beaten, raped, tortured or degraded; controlled by extreme acts of violence or even the imposed fear of violence.

Maybe they witnessed violence committed by one of their parents against another parent or step-parent. Maybe they were traded or sold to someone to be used in sex or beyond ‘normal’ physical labor. Maybe they went to bed at night waiting for the monsters to come prowling around and strike within the darkness. Maybe their schoolmates inflicted constant harassment or violent acts against them.

For whatever acts they may have endured or witnessed, these are victims of extreme harm & mental control by intimidation, even threats of death if they ever said a word to reveal what was really happening in that perfect little home down the street. It could also be the dysfunctional family we all knew but never did a thing to investigate the level of harm being done behind those walls. Was it because we feared that same controlling person the child or spouse feared? Maybe we turned away because we didn’t think it was any of our business, or we were just taught to believe it was acceptable for some families to use extreme control or physical harm as a form of punishment. Either situation has resulted in the same outcome, severe emotional harm which can lead to the life altered wounding and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, along with many physical illnesses such as Heart Disease, Chronic Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pain Syndrome, Lung Disease, Kidney or Liver Disease. Yes these many illnesses can  be the result of inflicted trauma, especially when it is endured for years without ever having resolution or rescue to heal the emotional wounding. Remember these types of survivors have been hiding who they really are, what they really feel, how they really think, and maybe even how they react to these actions. All of this trying to hide one’s true self can result in extreme stress. However, it is what this survivor had to do in order to get through it all and come out to be the individuals society will accept; rejection and blame is a constant threat. Many times rejection from family, the lack of being able to connect with others, the lack of understanding from others, the need to hide inside themselves for fear of being tagged with a mental disease or being considered an under-achiever; all of this can push them to commit suicide.

They take their life because they have been psychologically tortured to believe the tortures against them were THEIR fault, and it is THEIR fault they have all these battles going on inside, or maybe they fear hurting someone else as the result of losing control. 

Think of what these miraculous survivors have been able to accomplish while hiding inside the wounds of their imprisoned childhood or a dangerous relationship. Many become over-achievers. They will push and push themselves to be WORTHY of society, to be WORTHY of love, to be WORTHY as a parent or partner, to be accepted & promoted in their professional life, or perhaps they fall to the bottom of the pit and because of their inner pain they get lost in drugs, alcohol, self destructive behaviors attacking themselves because of the believed shame or blame they carry for their horrible existence. Often they will NOT openly display their emotions or disappointments.  They never had a weapon to hold off their attacker. Most were children who couldn’t even say NO to the attack. They couldn’t scream, they couldn’t cry, they couldn’t let the outside world know what was happening. If they ever showed some sign of the inner horror of their home, it could cost them their life or they believed they would be taken away; manipulated to believe they would be locked up because of what someone else was doing to them. No one would believe them and many would even place the blame of the sexual interaction on them, making them believe they DESERVED the attack is part of the manipulation itself.

Remember these children became experts in hiding the truth because if they ever showed any sign that lead to someone getting suspicious or invading their home to investigate possible harm; the price might be too much to pay. These prisoners believed their perpetrator and believed in their control. They knew no one could ever get them out in time; they would be murdered before the perpetrator would ever let anyone find out about their true secret.

If you review what the explanation of Complex P.T.S.D. reveals, especially the comparison between our war veterans and the adult survivors of these types of trauma, you will NOT see any variance between these two types of traumatized individuals.You WILL find more connections between the two than our society would like to accept or believe. In fact, it is only because of our war veterans returning home with these complications and mental trauma that we ever began investigating this disorder in the first place. Complex P.T.S.D is not a personal illness, it is a direct result of trauma endured throughout years of pain, repeated attacks, and inflicted emotional harm or the belief in controlled constant fear. (Think of these conditions as they relate to our grown men & women who are held captive or sent to battle; it is that same endured fear and emotional trauma.) As a society, we accept this condition in our war veterans and support all of the needed resources to help them recover. However, when someone shares they carry these wounds because of a life filled with horror and torture from their parent/s, we turn away. We don’t see the connection, so instead we make ourselves believe some of the following;

‘No parent could inflict such painful acts against their own child’; ‘No home could ever be as dangerous as what our veterans have endured’; ‘Mrs. Smith has never shown anything but kindness and caring in our neighborhood’; ‘Mr. Thomas would never use a weapon to threaten or rape his own child’.

These are the things we tell ourselves, because to accept the truth; to believe that ‘YES’ our homes can become as dangerous or even more horrifying than wars being fought on the other side of the world, well that would mean we would have to accept the possibility of our own guilt in refusing to see the truth when we saw the bruises, heard the cry for help or knew that other adults were using that child. Instead we blame the child. We can accept the possibility of the child needing more control over their behaviors. We use the diagnosis of things such as A.D.H.D, A.D.D, Bipolar or other such behavior or personality disorders, rather than to accept or question the possibility that homes within our quiet little suburb could ever be ‘dangerous’. When we are discussing possible relationship violence, we are made to believe the spouse is emotionally unstable resulting in them attacking and the perpetrator having to defend themselves with force.

We create excuses for what we see or the acts we have become trained to tolerate within our family unit.We can accept these possible scenarios because then we do not have to accept that our gut told us something else was going on, but we didn’t know what to do or how we could possibly change anything?

Readers this is the reason we should be listening to the many stories from these types of survivors today. Our society has finally opened the door to possible ‘Domestic Violence’ in a home. We have finally accepted and put into law that no person has the right to harm another, even in their own home. However, we still do not want to accept just how horrifying or damaging some of these actions can be. We don’t want to listen to the gory details or the constant sadness left as a result of such trauma. The only time we are accepting this today is if it is a case discovered today, if it is a child rescued today, if a perpetrator is caught TODAY!!! I’m writing this to hopefully encourage you to support the loved one in your family circle who may have been a child victim of the past generations. We must believe in their emotional trauma from the painful homes. We must support their journey to FINALLY be able to use their own voice and speak about what nightmares they actually endured. These may have been some of the most ferocious acts from the very parents who were entrusted with their care.

We never really know the people living behind those walls across the street. We never really know what happens when the door closes on the outside world. Only these persons know the evil inflicted against them. Only these persons know what battles they feel inside today. Only these incredibly strong individuals have endured these evils, then walked through life hiding who they really are because of their fear of being blamed or rejected by others; tagged with some form of mental disease and blocked from being promoted in their jobs or becoming a success on any level.

Understanding the aftermath of their survival is the beginning of their healing, rebuilding who they are so that they can become the positive person’s needed to parent their own children. When we deny their truth, we deny their existence and continue to trap them in the cage of silence. We can only help them when we listen to them, when we have patience and compassion for what they have been forced to do as a result of the sick minds who attacked them. It is not their blame, it is not their shame, they did not ask to be raped, to be beaten, or sold out for someone’s sick pleasure. They had no weapon to protect themselves. They had no voice to speak against what they didn’t want to do. They were prisoners controlled and manipulated by evil. Forced to take part in unspeakable sexual encounters or beaten beyond their own recognition for the slightest imperfection or dereliction of duties. They have been manipulated and tortured, some beyond our wildest imaginations, but they have survived. They are not diseased with some mental or emotional dysfunction, they are traumatized individuals who with the appropriate support system and understanding can be the most affectionate, compassionate, and empathetic persons in society today. No longer do they have to survive as ‘Prisoners of War’. We have the resources, we have the teachings, we have the studies to show how we can help them heal and become the leaders of tomorrow.

 If we can do it for our veterans, if we can do all of this for the cases we hear about in the news headlines today; then why are we so adamant about turning a deaf ear to the stories from yesterday’s hell?

Mine is one of these stories, as is hundreds of others I know or have interviewed. We see the published stories, we see the comments and the posts on our social sites. We know these persons. We can help them become the true outstanding individuals they are inside. We can hear their voice and comfort their pain. Healing from trauma, as any therapist or psychological professional will tell you, is a journey filled with support and compassion. Trauma recovery is a process of rebuilding the soul and allowing the voice who witnessed or felt the extreme fear to finally be heard. You can be part of their journey to freedom by simply providing the support system they need in friendship or as a respected partner; teaching them self appreciation and self love for the decent person they are and who they are trying to be as they present themselves and their truth to a society trained to tolerate and dismiss the evil inflicted by those meant to protect us. It is in this type of hell these wounded warriors have survived being a ‘Prisoner of War’. It is compassion and understanding that can set them free and end the ongoing battles they deal with to hide their emotional aftermath today. ©Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight Acknowledgements: http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/177/2/144.full#ref-9 Herman, J. L. (1992) Trauma and Recovery. New York: Basic Books. Lindy, J. (1996) Psychoanalytic psychotherapy of post-traumatic stress disorder: the nature of the therapeutic relationship. In Traumatic Stress: The Effects of Overwhelming Experience on Mind, Body and Society (eds B. van der Kolk, A. McFarlane & L. Weisaeth), pp. 525-536. New York: Guilford. Roth, S., Newman, E., Pelcovitz, D., et al (1997) Complex PTSD in victims exposed to sexual and physical abuse: results from the DSM-IV field trial for Post-traumatic Stress http://www.nctsn.org/trauma-types/complex-trauma/effects-of-complex-trauma Disorder. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 10, 539-556.

Male Abuse Awareness Week Feature Broadcasting

Male Abuse Awareness Week Feature Broadcasting.

“The Good Within…..”

Well here it is 6 a.m. on a Saturday morning and again I am unable to sleep. Seems another morning has come where my mind doesn’t want to shut off. It’s so early, actually I’ve been awake since three, but just started coffee and had to get some thoughts out of my head.

First thing I think however, “Damn…..this world can be so insane and evil at times.” That’s it. That’s the first thought. Then, “How can I try to make things different and what are my next few steps going to be?”

I was just telling my beautiful friend, Michal Madison, the other day on the phone about what I am going to write to you here. She and I have become quite close you see. We have never met, but she knows me; she knows my spirit and my dreams. In fact we share many of the same thoughts and wishes, the passions of how we can try to create something better.

Anyway, here goes. “It’s sad to realize that no other mammal on this earth is as cruel to its young as we humans. Even the most ferocious animals of the kingdom; the lions, tigers, and yes, even bears are nurturing to their young. They keep them safe always. These breeds of God’s creations often stay together happily throughout their lifetime. However, humans beat, neglect, degrade, molest and rape our young. We manipulate them in our domestic relationships and our adult world. We use them to satisfy our own sick demented need for power and greatness, even sadistic desires.”

Do you know absolutely any adult can manipulate, over power, and control a child or even preteen; actually any human who is cruel can make another feel less worthy? It is when they have developed the adult body parts, the adult logical thinking, the adult ability to speak out, fight back, run away we start picking another less powerful force.

I made a statement in a Facebook comment yesterday afternoon. In this I discussed, “What would happen if each person who is able, chose to protect just one other who was younger, weaker, not able to protect themselves in some way; How would our world change? What morals and human decency would we be able to give to the next generation? What basic human skills could we give to our children to make this world a better place?”

I’m not sure if you feel as I do, but I’m more concerned about what morality will exist in my grandchildren’s futures rather than what debt they’ll be burdened to carry. Let’s face facts; “How do we ever expect them to pay off our world deficit?” I really don’t view this as a possibility for them. It really is a hope that we can change our pattern of spending to reduce this, but I believe that it may be an impossible feat for them at this point.

“What if instead we all chip in through moral teachings?” We can start punishing those who harm them, make calls to help rescue them, teach them they are worthy; teach them the process I began teaching my own grandchildren and try hard to pass on to them…..

“There are bad things in this world. There are people who are simply bad and do things to hurt other people. We can’t think that God can fix everything and take all the bad people, all the bad things, and rid them away. What we can do, is each try to be good inside. We each can try to find our good and share it with others. We also have to help protect those around us from bad things and bad people.”

That’s it simple easy step one as explained to my, then, six-year-old grandson. Every time someone begins to bully him or tries to be mean to him, he does speak up for himself, most times. But, at the same time when you talk to him he worries about if someone is being mean to them. He even tells his mom and dad when they’re not being nice. He has a great heart and a true soul. My awesome grandson, Gavin, knows at nine years old what it means to be kind and be a good person. I’m not sure I can say that for many adults I’ve come across in my life. It’s tragic to think of the world he, his brother, and my precious little granddaughter are going to be so sadly changed by the cruel sense of others. **Note: (Gavin wrote a story, himself, about this and now he and NaNa are working on the publication)**

“Do you believe we can change the path of mankind? Do you believe we all have the personal right to be safe in our world? Do you believe that if we all choose to protect our own rather than harm them, that we can create a better, kinder, safer world to give them?”

So you may now ask…..”What are my next few steps in this journey to make a difference?”

I am going to share these statements wherever I can. I am going to write about these statements, do public speaking on these statements, try to inspire some sense of moral kindness towards another. Most of all, I am going to ask you to look inside, to ask yourself;

“If I can protect just one and ask another to protect just one, maybe something will change? If I can speak for the goodness in mankind, if I can try to leave something better for my children and grandchildren; then maybe, just maybe, something will begin to sparkle through the goodness that I pass forward. Rather than hand the world to them with all of the pain, violence, evil, darkness; I can be part of the generation that gathered its voices and decided to take a stand.”

“I can be part of that wonderful group that did something different rather than just accepting what has been turned away from for generations. I can simply begin to be one of those awesome voices that decided to say, NO MORE!!”

Let’s face it folks, if we don’t try to do something, what will our children think of this species called the human race in another twenty years?

If you agree with this and you want to help make a change and just don’t know how to start, look inside yourself. What lies inside your heart? What are your thoughts about these statements?What do you hope to pass forward? If all of your answers here fill your ideas with wonderful possibilities, share that good spirit with others.

“The place we can all begin to create a kinder, more compassionate and safer world; this is the good that lies within.”

Be the rose within!!

Michal Madison Art
Michal Madison Art
artist/advocate/speaker/survivor
Michal Madison; Watercolor Artist
michalmadisonart.com

(c) Patricia A. McKnight

Advocate/Author/Speaker/Blogger/Survivor

Author:  “My Justice”

lulu.com/amazon.com/bn.com/authorhouse.com

http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

August is “Don’t Be A Bully” Month!!!

Talk to your kids about Bullying!!! Parents are your kids being bullied or maybe they are the bully????

August 1st Kicks off  National Month of ” Don’t Be a Bully”!! Our kids will be starting back to school and there is so much to worry about. However I do hope you take a few bits of time here and there to address the subject of Bullying with your kids. It’s my opinion that we cannot just say “Deal With It” any longer to our children. As you have seen shared across the web and I’m sure your local news channels, BULLYING IS A SEVERE & TRAGIC LEVELS!!! It is the epidemic that plaques our children.

We have seen and heard how vicious these attacks of bullying have grown. We have also seen and heard how many of our young children either succeed at committing suicide because of bullying or they have stated a threat of suicide. I’m not talking about just the dramatic teens; I’m talking about children as young as NINE years old. I’ve seen and heard this first hand from my own grandson.

Many times in his third grade year he went to the teacher with a complaint of harassment, teasing, even physical pushing from other classmates. When my daughter tried desperately to get the school active at helping with the worsening situation, she was ignored; even told her son needed to learn how to cope with the teasing of other kids,

“Kids will be Kids”.

How true that  simple statement is, but do we realize just how bad it has gotten? When I was a kid the teasing happened only at school. These days our children can’t get away from the constant torment of others. They are using cyber bullying, texting, phone calls, and even bold enough to video tape themselves to try and get famous on YouTube!! There is a difference between some teasing that all of us have been a part of, but our children are suffering Anxiety attacks just trying to get to school each morning. They dread so badly what the Bully/Bullies might do or say, that it causes severe emotional distress. In fact, if your child rides a bus to school, it’s likely that the bully they dread might be on that same bus or at their same bus stop.

We can’t expect the teachers and our educators to take full responsibility for educating our kids about this growing epidemic. We as parents have a larger responsibility because they are OUR children; teaching them about life’s issues is the responsibility of the parents. All schools need to enact some form of Early Learning Anti-Bullying Program. This needs to be addressed to K-3 grades. I believe that if we can make a greater impact on our younger children about how NOT to be a bully; how to report acts of bullying; how to understand we are not all the same and that’s alright because it makes the world a great place, these are some basic early learning skills that our kids are smart enough and capable of understanding. It will give them knowledge, which instills confidence, this grows personal safety awareness, allows our children to develop a caring for others in society, and gives them courage when reporting ANY ACT that is perceived as wrong; including abuses that may be going on at home, which results in greater safety for our kids.

As schools vamp up address the school officials in your area and find out their policy on bullying; record any reports your child makes; if the problem is not addressed properly and promptly, please take it to your NEWS MEDIA and hold our schools responsible for the balance of safety within their boundaries; including on the buses!!!

National Center for Mental Health Promotion and Youth Violence: http://www.promoteprevent.org/

Judging Eyes

There’s a little girl living around the corner from you. Most mornings you see her while standing at the bus stop with your daughter. She always stands off quietly by herself.

You look at her and wonder, “Why is she not with the other children?”

You notice her hair is till messy from rising out of bed. Her shirt is wrinkled up and the jeans look like they really don’t fit. Suddenly she looks up and makes eye contact with you. She will force a smile on her face and you see the yellow of her teeth.

As a mom you see the poor dental care and think, “What’s wrong? That poor little girl. Doesn’t anyone look after her?”

She feels your eyes on her and she’s ashamed of how she looks; to her your eyes are burning judgement. The girl wonders if you can see what she’s feeling.

“Can you see me standing by myself? Can you see how I feel?” she wonders. “I know how bad I look, but you’re not supposed to know why.”

The little girl is about 12 years old. You see how pretty she could be if only she took better care of herself. Her eyes are a sparkling blue water and you can see the sadness on her face. She wishes no one would notice her. She wants to be like your daughter, but she can’t. She’s trapped and doesn’t know what to do. She wishes her Mom loved her.

“My mom doesn’t even care that I look like this. She doesn’t notice me at all.”

You look a little closer at her and you see her arms have open sores on them. To you they look ugly and infected. Your reaction is to pull your 10 year old closer to you so she doesn’t catch anything.

You’re not sure who this girl is, but you see her every morning and she always looks the same.

You start to wonder about her parents. “My God,” you think. “Who could let this child look like that? Why don’t people take care of their kids? That poor thing must feel so horrible.”

You see the other children standing around in small groups together, but this girl isn’t part of them, nor is she invited to join them. The other girls also turn to look at her. They point then turn away; saying things which you can only imagine.

Then you watch as the girl pulls her arms in around her; clutching her books tightly against her chest. She is hoping it will block your judgement of her.

“Please don’t think bad of me like they do,” she thinks to herself as she sneaks another glance your way. “If you knew what I had to do last night what would you really think of me then?” Her mind keeps going with questions, “Would you let things happen to me like that if I were with you? I can never stop him or say anything to him. He is supposed to be my dad and take care of me, but he is so cruel to me. He always hurts me, but I can’t help it. He just keeps coming after me.”

While you wait at the bus stop with your daughter to watch her and make sure she stays safe, you turn your back to the girl and keep a watchful eye on the other kids around you. The girl never steps out of her safety boundaries; standing alone, close to the bushes every morning without saying a word to anyone. She just glances around and sometimes gives a shy little smile your way as she ponders on her life; deeply wishing that someone would take care of her. She wants her mom to notice her, but when the girl was woke up this morning she was just told to get ready.

“Get your ass out of that damn bed and get moving.” she recalls. “You are not staying home with me so you better not be late. You get moving,” her mom yells up the stairs.

As the little girl stands quietly by the bushes her mind is racing with memories and flashbacks of her night. She barely got any sleep and she feels utterly exhausted, more tired than any adult working a full day at two jobs. This child is standing there amazingly strong, but completely exhausted from her trauma. He had attacked her again after sending her brother and sister to bed last night. He made her put on that nightgown again and touched her all over.

She starts to question silently, “Do you see what he did to me? Do you see the stains he left on me? Can you please help me?”

Maybe for the past six months you have noticed she has gotten a little worse in appearance or actions. “Still; no one else in town has said anything about this family, so why bother?” You say to yourself, “I don’t want to step in against those people. Her dad is up at the bar where her mom works everyday, then he goes home with the kids. I’ll bet something’s happening there,” you think. “But it’s not my place to say anything. I just hope with those sores she stays away from my daughter.”

The girl’s mind is still spinning with all of her fears. “He touched me, pinched me, probed at me. He made me do things that were so nasty. He told me how ugly I was as he pushed me away. Then when I fell on the floor he got really angry and grabbed me by the hair.” She rubs the top of her head as she’s remembering the night of terror. “When I fell what caused him to get so angry? I never know what it is that makes him so mean with me, but it happens all the time.” She wishes she could tell someone what happened and holds back the tears as her mind drifts back. “His hand swung up out of nowhere and landed hard on the side of my face as he started beating me; yelling about how disgusting I am.” The bruise on her face was just starting to show a little on the side this morning. She saw it as she was getting dressed, but apparently you didn’t see it. “You can only see the filth on me,” she thinks as she glances over again.

You are still standing there quietly watching your daughter and secretly looking back at her. Your eyes burn on her though. She knows you can see the ugly sores on her and her greasy unkept hair. She knows you can see her wrinkled clothes that she dug out of the dirty laundry this morning. She didn’t have anything clean to wear, but it seemed her little sister had all kinds of cute things to put on. In truth, the girl had on her sister’s underpants because she didn’t have any of her own.

Now she starts to think about what might happen if she reached over to you. She knows she would break down crying. Then she remembers how he had threatened her. She was supposed to call him, “Dad”, but all he did was hurt her and he told her,

“If anyone finds out about this your mom will get angry and they will take you away from her, but I’ll come to find you and when I do,” he said to her, “I will gladly kill you. No one will ever find you again. You will be buried somewhere deep.”

Those words were branded into her soul just as his touch was burned into her skin. The girl is trapped in her nightmare. She can’t reach out to anyone. She’s afraid of someone noticing her,

“What if they say something to me,” she wonders. “What am I suppose to do if they ask me about the bruises or the filth growing on my skin? If they tell anyone he’ll kill me, but I need someone to help me. I am just a little girl who wants to have friends to play with and have quiet when I do my homework, but most of all I just wish I could take a bath again.” This little girl standing so brave is screaming inside, “Please help me, but be careful what you do or say, he will hunt me down; he will kill me!!”

As the bus pulls up and the other kids start rushing forward to get the best seats, the girl stands back. She waits patiently, making sure to stay out of everyone’s way. You notice she is aware of everything around her as she steps away from the bushes. While you guide your precious, beautiful daughter to the door you hope inside that the infected girl behind you doesn’t sit down next to her. The girl sneaks past you.

“I can’t bump into anyone,” she worries. “Please don’t pay any attention to me. If I can get through the bus ride and through my school day I’ll be alright, but then I have to go home. When he gets home from the bar tonight he might still be angry or he might want to do that nasty stuff.”

As she gets on the bus to face her day of fear, her deepest thought is knowing that nothing will change in her life. No one will challenge her parents, and even if they did, he would still be there; haunting her.

“Please help me I’m trapped!!!” she quietly screams inside.

(c) Patricia A. McKnight
Author: “My Justice”