A note from the author: Hope, Courage, Change in our society

 

You see this bright blue eyed cutie; well I thought she was gone forever. I really thought they, my parents, had destroyed all that was wonderful about her. However, I feel her and she is right here with me always. She lives inside and still reminds me everyday; now I am safe, loved, and respected for the simple person I‘ve become. She is right there to guide me through and always brings joy to my heart. She has endured vicious and ugly wounding, but she is still very much alive. She has doubted herself constantly, felt truly unworthy of ever being accepted, and lost all hope of ever finding love. She has risen above their pain to laugh once again, to feel blessed once again, to shine those incredible blue eyes and pray that the world will hear her voice. Every time a survivor who has read her story, ‘My Justice’, she prays they find their one stand of hope to keep them going and know that they too matter; their pain is just as tragic but with patience and reconnecting with who they are, they too will shine as they deserve and live in all the beauty, just as they should have done before the dark storms of pain turned them inside out.

‘ My Justice is read by the hundreds of those who have the power and the contacts to pass it forward and let her story be told. One day she will be heard. One day her determination to change what has infected her family so horribly will be recognized for the evil it was back then. Its not about her rescue, for she has survived beyond all comprehension. Its not about being recognized, for she is definitely loved by many. Its not about the sadness she has carried, for the tears are all dry by the tender hands that hold her. It is about what this child has to share so that no child should suffer this horrendous pain ever again. It is about what this child has to say that just might change your thoughts, give you hope of a better tomorrow, and most of all to share the love she feels inside for all those who have endured the pains of harm and have themselves conquered the demons within to rise above and truly laugh in love‘s warm embrace.

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  If you have read her story, ‘My Justice‘; I pray for those still struggling, still trying to hang in there, still trying to conquer and escape that you will pass it forward to another. Let her voice be heard, let her justice be felt, as she has now removed the coal stained hand that crept into her world and took away her greatest weapon of protection, the hand that took away this precious child’s voice and silenced her in evil until one day the sun shined down on the person would once again breathe life into her soul. Thank you my friends for accepting and loving me in all my imperfect, but still so truly bright and shining ways.

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You will find ‘My Justice’ and various purchasing links by visiting www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com….

Pledge to become your “FAMILY DEFENDER” today!!! Thank you

 

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‘Its a Family Affair’ -welcome Jori Nunes – ‘Chocolate Flowers’ 07/07 by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery | Self Help Podcasts

‘Its a Family Affair’ -welcome Jori Nunes – ‘Chocolate Flowers’ 07/07 by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery | Self Help Podcasts.

Tonight on Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio, welcome Author Jori Nunes with her book ‘Chocolate Flowers’. Our discussion tonight circles around the Mental Health of our Family Unit!!! Tell me friends, what do we do when the abuses & harmful actions against children are being committed by parents with sociopathic, narcissistic, psychopathic, and other such serious illnesses? What if the other family members have become numb to the acts of these parents, so they abandon the children in these homes rather than try to get them supportive help. A long time ago we didn’t talk about such issues, but today we do and tonight we ask you to join in as we look inside these homes. How many of you were raised by a parent who was actually suffering one of these illnesses? Did anyone know of the harmful actions or serious dysfunctions? Show starts at 9pm eastern so set your REMINDERS here or click FOLLOW to stay up to date with all of our awesome programming. Thanks and hope to see you in our chatroom with our Butterfly Helpers tonight. Let’s talk about HOW MANY CHILDREN WILL WE LOSE BECAUSE OF THESE TYPES OF SITUATIONS AND ILLNESSES INSIDE THE HOUSES IN OUR NEIGHBORHOODS? Thanks & don’t forget to invite a friend!!!

‘Its a Family Affair’ -Are we teaching our children to be Mentally Ill? 06/16 by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery | Self Help Podcasts

‘Its a Family Affair’ -Are we teaching our children to be Mentally Ill? 06/16 by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery | Self Help Podcasts.

Tonight we take a look inside the homes in our neighborhoods; with 1 in 5 suffering some form of Mental Health Issues, then what do we do about the children growing up inside these families? How will they be affected? It has been proven that we pass on the traits of PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, even Bipolar issues as our children watch and learn from their parents behaviors. What do we do with all of these wounded children who have become parents now and pass on to their children the behaviors of these diseases, if not the actual disease itself?

Join in with Trish beginning at 9pm eastern/ 8pm central/ 7pm mountain/ 6pm pacific time. Hopefully you’ll take part in the conversation and give her a call live at 347-214-7754 or connect in our chatroom with our very awesome Butterfly Helpers.

We can learn ‘with’ our children how to let go of what past generations have taught us about the acts of abuse, violence, and/or trafficking; especially that which happens inside our family unit. We are hoping to spark new thought in your views about these types of behaviors and what affect it has on the family as a whole. Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery is connecting hearts & holding hands of help around the world. New Hope, New Courage, New Conviction, New Truth!

Become your FAMILY DEFENDER by visiting our website. http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

Our shows are made possible by your continued support & purchase of ‘My Justice‘, Trish’s own personal story of hell. Thank you.

Its a ‘Family Defender’ Campaign from Butterfly Dreams!!

BioPic3.png          Patricia A. McKnight

Author/Advocate/Speaker/Radio Host/Survivor

Owner/CEO – Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Programming

 

Its really wonderful to wake early in the morning and have the very quiet, bird chirping, sun rising time to myself. Its like an injection of life. This quiet time of morning is when my senses are most heightened as a writer. This flow of energy also drives me to become an activist and no longer the person who just thinks about doing something; the person who is right there; confused perhaps but willing to begin helping the process of change. This is where I come to you for help, advice, guidance, conviction in what I’m sharing. So hopefully,  you’ll read on a bit then give it some thought. If this article in anyway makes you believe there is a way to begin changing what the past has lead us to today, then please pass it on to just one friend and let’s get this party started!! Thanks much ~~

‘ Always believe anything is possible with you in the ACTIVE equation’ ~~ trish mcknight

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Throughout these past four years now I’ve been networking and connecting with other resources of help. Thankfully I’ve found many across the country here in the U.S. but also in many other parts of the world who are speaking out, supporting survivors, providing ways in which studies can be conducted, reports published and voices discussing the deep impact of trauma left in the aftermath of those who’ve endured continuously dysfunctional, deviate or harmful attacks. Think of the perceptions of life you would develop and the behaviors you would pass on to your kids. You may know a young parent dealing with this today.

In having the Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio Network, we have talked with hundreds who’ve been interviewed by myself and other hosts.  All of these person’s have shared the path of self destruction from these types of personal trauma. Keep in mind that most often it is so extreme and so habitual that it is because of a need to survive this person’s wires would automatically adapt to the environment and the behavior of those around them. As once one of these victims I can say that the worst possible part of all those years growing up in pure evil; not one other single adult who had the ability and the training to notice the severe neglect; all those who knew about the trafficking, and those who were close family friends who witnessed it all or heard all the stories shared over the kitchen table about the parties with ‘Trecia Ann’, there were many who knew but not one of these person’s felt that I mattered enough to protect or help in some  way. This is extreme societal abandonment & judgment of a child.

How many children do we have living in this type of life pattern at this very moment? If you think real hard about things you see and the behaviors of others around you, there is a very good chance that you know someone who is trying to pretend nothing horrible is going on.

We can not accept that one more child be abandoned to live in their nightmare. I believe our duty is to educate and continue to discuss how the repeated patterns within our family occur. It becomes our ‘NORMAL’, the constant harm is how we see the world and we don’t expect things to change, yet we somehow know inside that its wrong. The victim grows and their behaviors are often a repeated pattern from what they endured, so this all gets passed on generation after generation. I’m witnessing today how it all impacted the lives of my children and grandchildren. We know that as we become adults it all has to change, it must end somewhere for us or we will surely explode. This is probably where all the psycho serial killers begin.

What if we tried something NEW???

We have been accepting and discussing many changes in our human society. Acceptance, ending bullying & school violence is at the top of everyone’s list. Here is our chance to influence a better way for our children. We can teach the new generation a better way, just as we have already begun to do in many communities around the world; influence a more humane and protective way to view the world around them. Think of the influence it would make if you were to stand up to your family members, not in a rage over what has happened in the past, but instead what you will not allow to happen today. Tell them you have learned what harm occurs to a child’s development when left to grow up in pain and having to keep dirty little secrets. We know what it feels like to be so isolated in the control of your household monster. We have already been there and we will not be quiet while it all continues to happen and destroy another generation; especially when it comes to your own children.

Choose to tell your friends about the choice you made and how you want to make sure we are watching out for all the kids in our circle. Today you choose change. You are your ‘FAMILY DEFENDER’!!

What is a ‘FAMILY DEFENDER’ and how do you become one?

Visit our website at www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com . Please scroll to near the bottom of the page, you will find a contract; ‘BECOME YOUR FAMILY DEFENDER’.On this contract you are providing your signature and making a commitment to change; to be brave enough to end the repeated pattern of harm which occurs in our homes, floods into our streets and is destroying the SAFETY of our children in their schools. Our kids are being bombarded everyday with all types of criminal and deviate behaviors, look on the net and you will see the world our children live in. I’ve seen Youtube displays of torture and explicit sexual contact between our children and adults.

Think about the fact we all only have Six Degrees of Separation between any one person. This means someone knows that child. Someone knows these adults. Someone out there may even suspect or have been a victim of these same adults previously. Someone Knows!!

This is a sincere plea to all those persons who follow my writings about these topics and for the many thousands who support, share and like what is being done through our team at Butterfly Dreams. You can meet each of them by visiting our website, where you’ll also find their links. Take a look at our incredible Board Members, which we are grateful for the outstanding persons they are in their special arena. Review the local training & active support ‘Trish’ is building within her own small community. These are amazing resources, which have the ability to reach out further and encourage our society to take the ‘Family Defender’ pledge. This is a state of mind and if we are going to live in a world of freedom for all person’s then we must provide the tools and commitment to protect those who do not have a voice; those who are forced to live in what are the presumed innocent behaviors within our family unit.

If you’ve read this article and feel you are ready to begin change in your own circle, please visit our website and make the choice today, TAKE THE PLEDGE & BECOME YOUR OWN FAMILY DEFENDER!!

You hold the power of change in your hands, you can create its path and influence its growth. What pattern of human behaviors do you want to teach?

Here are some excellent resource links to share what our FBI VICTIMS ASSISTANCE, COMMUNITY OUTREACH, VIOLENT CRIMES AGAINST CHILDREN, and TRAFFICKING OF MINORS divisions are doing across the country. Also a link for you to learn your VICTIMS RIGHTS, no matter what type of crime is committed against you. These are your constitutional rights under national law in the United States. You can have these rights enforced for any criminal actions committed against you, even Identity Fraud, Online Bullying, and other such acts.

Here in Clinton County, Illinois I am continually reaching out to let people know who I am, what I do and why I make the choice to be active against these horrific violent acts against own family members; worst of all being the continuous behaviors of tolerance and victim abandonment. Will you decide to support & protect those who are unable to speak up, fight back, or protect themselves from their household monster? Begin an active change for our decent human morality and begin with the attached pledge. I do hope those hundreds of members in our Talk Radio Group and the thousands on my friends list will help us out here. Please be brave enough to tell the monsters ‘NO’.

Take the pledge to become your FAMILY DEFENDER.

Thank you

May you always be safe & live strong

Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight

Contact me direct by emailing: butterflydreamsteam@live.com

In case someone you know is being harmed right now, please contact 911 or your local emergency response. Make the right choice!!!

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For more information about our government resources please contact www.fib.gov

 

Missing Persons & Stealthfind w/ Kelly & Julia -Learning is a Family Affair 03/03 by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery | Self Help Podcasts

Missing Persons & Stealthfind w/ Kelly & Julia -Learning is a Family Affair 03/03 by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery | Self Help Podcasts.

Tonight on our very special March broadcast kickoff, welcome Kelly Townsend & Julia D’Alfanzo, This team is phenomenal and their magnificent rescues have been a ‘FEATURE’ on DISCOVERY ID CHANNEL’s, ‘Last Seen Alive’. Missing Persons & Human Trafficking Rescuers, Arizona Private Investigator team and Board Members of National Domestic Violence Registry & Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery. They search and rescue, actual boots on ground recovery missions, for those who are reported missing or trapped in human trafficking circles. We are honored to have them join us tonight, and please reach out to them @ http://www.stealthfind.com if you would like them to review your MISSING PERSONS CASE. You can also connect with them at Tracker Suspicions here on Facebook!!!

 

Show starts at 9pm eastern/ 8pm central/ 7pm mountain/ 6pm pacific time and we will be taking your live calls for Kelly & Julia at 347-215-7754. Let’s hear how each of us can play a role in helping to find the missing, protecting our kids from Human Trafficking, and the real truth of how intense these ongoing cases can become. Hope you invite your teens, friends, neighbors, & local resources to listen in to our programming. We are Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio and together we are connecting hearts & holding hands to give our children a safer world tomorrow!! Thanks always, trish

Triggers; what are they and how do we work through them?

What I’ve learned about these horrible little bugging annoyances.

Here is a list of definitions:

    • 1:  a piece (as a lever) connected with a catch or detent as a means of releasing it
    • 2: something that acts like a mechanical trigger in initiating a process or reaction
    • Psychiatry
      A factor that initiates and aggravates a behaviour or response.

Etymology

D, trekker, that which pulls

a substance, object, or agent that initiates or stimulates an action.

For ‘Survivors of Trauma’ triggers are any combination of person, place, thing or action, which sets off a remembered emotion or fear. These are instinctive reactions ingrained in our system from the attack/traumatic situation, which caused the original terror.

Just like we have remembered happy moments, which set off laughter or tenderness; compassion, we can also have negative and fearful moments. In fact; as my therapist shared with me, ‘When the trauma is severely impacting our body will gravitate strongest to the negative memory before a happy memory because the negative emotions are much stronger.” We have to challenge ourselves in working through our triggers. One of the first ways in this healing process is understanding what they are and how they work. Know that a trigger will lose its initial power as you first accept the fearful reaction; note here I highly suggest if the terror is extreme then please break down the memory and the challenge of the trigger in sections. Please do not run headstrong into  that which could result in a permanent break in our psyche. In facing little bits of the trauma at each step, we will find it easier to breathe through the trigger, rather than instantly respond; we can learn to control our reactions just like we do with anything else in life.

Its important to have patience with yourself or the person you are supporting during these challenging times. It may take years to finally be able to gain control over the trigger, rather than the trigger controlling you. Sadly the how and when of your control really depends on the person themselves; what they can tolerate, how badly they were traumatized, what specifically was done, if it was a repeated trauma, then how often did it occur and how long did it last overall? All of these go into play when we are learning to deal with these instinctive reactions, the emotions suddenly felt and the memories which take over our thoughts.

Society doesn’t know that you are sensitive to loud noises, or that you get sick when you get around the smell of a certain cologne. Even our family & friends would rather hear how you get ‘turned on’ by a certain cologne or giggle everytime they see you jump out of your skin from being startled. We have to be able to cope in society’s rules. Not everyone will be sensitive to our responses, which means we have to take away the trigger’s power and learn how to control our reactions & actions.

Now you can pretend it didn’t happen; you’ve already been doing this for years and it hasn’t helped you any yet. So instead, try to recognize the physical impacts of your body’s reactions, (tense muscles, clenching teeth, holding your breath, heart pounding, other types of specific body pains). Understand there is something about your surroundings at that moment that just hit a nerve. What nerve? Why did I react like that? What is it I’m afraid of in this situation? Try to connect with the emotions and understand the memory which is flashing through your body. Sometimes we may not understand the connection, because as a mode of self-protection our mind might have tried to completely blank out the memory. However, if you come from a trauma filled home or life, then you can pretty much put the dots together. You don’t need to know every horrific detail in order to take back control of your actions and reactions. Keep in mind you survived something, something which must have been excruciating, but you survived it.

In becoming adults and parents, we know there is a huge level of responsibility, self-responsibility is part of that development. For certain situations in life society doesn’t accept your wounding, no matter how terrifying.  What if you are a parent who is triggered by something that either happens to YOUR child or something YOUR child does? You don’t want to freak out in front of them, so instead we have to take responsibility for our reactions, let it out at a more opportun time. While organizations like N.A.M.I. are developing and thousands are discussing the mental health of adult survivors of child sexual violence, there is still more which needs to be done,  so be patient with yourself and with society. Explain to yourself just as you would to someone else. Comfort yourself and congratulate yourself for your accomplishments, just as you would do for others. Continue educating as many people in our circles as will listen. The more we understand, the more we accept and the better we are able to assist victims today.

Think about this:

(We wouldn’t blame a soldier for being in a public place and suddenly breaking apart from a remembered fear. However, you will hear people whisper; “He/she needs to stay home and work through this. They need held. Be careful you don’t know what they might do. We warn others about their responses, be it for their sake or ours.)

Living in society is a lot different from sitting in our homes with our family. To LIVE in society means to work, run errands or be out in the public rules on a regular basis. Being out among friends, enjoying a meal out, taking a walk; these are all things which make our lives enjoyable. What if you suffer from the issues of ongoing triggers, or you have your own societal fears; the feeling of constant shame or judgment by others? You can see how this would be a problem.

Often times we are out doing something quite pleasurable in society, escaping the isolation of living with these pesky flare ups; this is when we are suddenly faced with something that sets off our reactions. We aren’t expecting it to happen, in fact we would rather it didn’t spoil our good time. There are some triggers which may take a few seconds before we realize it is setting us off at all. Many times if the trauma itself was a way of life then it may well be a trained behavior, so the initial traumatic response may not be as intense, but it may grow in momentum. It may be three days later when suddenly the memory has us swirling, it has taken over our thoughts and set off a series of tensions & fears, which may be completely incapacitating for a few days or more. I’ve seen this occur within adult survivors of child sexual violence time and time again.

Recognize the trigger as a trauma induced memory or reaction. When we look at it logically rather than emotionally (even if at first it is emotional; try taking a breath, snap your fingers, step out of the moment and regroup). As we learn to recognize this in connection to a serious perception of fear, then we can begin working through each reaction or memory of that specific trauma. This can be done on your own through simple daily tasks in life rebuilding skills to help gain back your sense of self-confidence, prove your value to yourself in completing little chores and set goals for yourself that help you in the rebuilding steps. However if you are having difficulty you may want to seek out a support group or mental healthcare professional for guidance.

Understand that some of this healing may involve teaching ourselves a completely new process of life. Meaning of  course, that we completely change our living behaviors and learn to re-do something without the trauma being a part of that specific behavior, such as some of the things I’ve challenged in my own healing. These things may seem pretty stupid to others, but for my life in extreme horror they are very real issues. One of the things I had to completely re-teach myself to do in life, driving. I learned how to drive beginning age 11 driving drunk stepfather around in the country while he repeatedly attacked me with sexual actions, but ‘Don’t you dare wreck’. When I got to be about 17 I couldn’t drive without liquor or the use of marijuana to relieve the initial trauma. These days I still have issues when driving sometimes, especially if I’m in or around my hometown area. However, today I do not have to be under the influence of any medications to get behind the wheel and take off for a day.

We can’t work through the emotions if we do not re-visit the trauma itself. As we work through the imposed fear, we become stronger & the trigger loses its power. True healing comes when we begin changing the impact the trauma has on our life. Understand how it’s all connected, then share that knowledge with others around us. Explain it is proven to be worse than the recovery of our amazing veterans returning from battle. The one important connecting factor in these two realms is that our vets travel around the world to do battle with a weapon and a team around them; survivors of child sexual violence have only themselves, there is no weapon to defend from an attack, an attack can happen on any level and at any moment, the attack can be a repetitive lived action, which most commonly is an attack from their direct parent/caregiver; the one person who has complete control by law and has the responsibility to make decisions about their daily life and how they are raised. In this type of harmful environment it normally doesn’t just happen for a period of time, but rather continues throughout the entire lifespan. This is when the end result is Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and recovery takes an extreme personal commitment.

May this writing help you understand a bit more about these life changing & impacting difficulties, which will invade our children’s lives if healing and support are not achieved. We as a society can continue to pass forward all of this dysfunction or we can begin to understand all that’s connected and how it directly affects our personal development, then begin teaching our children about what it means to truly live strong and to live safe even inside their homes.

Healing begins when we make the effort to understand!!

Love, strength, and courage for your ongoing challenge to heal <3>

Thanks for reading & be well Smile

Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight

Author: ‘My Justice’

Owner/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Programming

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio

https://www.facebook.com/survivorsjustice?ref=stream

©ButterflyDreamsAbuseRecovery 2014

Real Talk with Rachel: 3 Ways to Reclaim Your Sexuality After Abuse 02/11 by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery | Self Help Podcasts

Real Talk with Rachel: 3 Ways to Reclaim Your Sexuality After Abuse 02/11 by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery | Self Help Podcasts.

Hi friends, tonight is that special love night for everyone. If you are a survivor or victim of sexual violence this could be a difficult topic for you. It may even be something that you choose to disconnect from, even when you sincerely love your partner. Listen in to Rachel Grant and three very special guests discuss the topic of Reclaiming Your Sexuality After Abuse, for both men & women!! A show filled with experts helping you connect with your body, while actually falling in love with yourself!!