Understanding Family Terrorism–‘Family Terrorist Act’

 

As I was looking around for some more information to share in support of the ‘Family Terrorist Act’ – Trecia’s Law, mainly to bring you an update on just how many amazing signatures from strong advocate leaders, both independent & as organization leaders, who are supporting this measure. It will be wonderful to share your names with Illinois General Assembly Member, House Representative Jay Hoffman when I meet with him to discuss this further on November 25th.

So what exactly is ‘TERRORISM’?

Believe it or not there is no set explanation of ‘Terrorism’; the governments, it seems, cannot come to terms with its exact directives. This being said I’ve found quite a few written definitions during my search through our laws and miscellaneous articles. The best I’ve found is what’s written in this great article shared from Emergency Department of Military Affairs 2008.

UN Security Council Resolution 1566 (2004)

gives a definition: criminal acts, including against civilians, committed with the intent to cause death or serious
bodily injury, or taking of hostages, with the purpose to provoke a state of terror in the general public or in a group of persons or particular persons, intimidate a population or compel a government or an international organization to do or to abstain from doing any act.

United States
The United States has defined terrorism under the Federal Criminal Code. Title 18 of the United States; Code defines terrorism and lists the crimes associated with terrorism. In Section 2331 of Chapter 113(B), defines terrorism as: “…activities that involve violent… or life-threatening acts… that are a violation of the criminal laws of the United States or of any State and… appear to be intended

(i) to intimidate or coerce a civilian population;

(ii) to influence the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion;

(iii) to affect the conduct of a government by mass destruction, assassination, or kidnapping; and…

(C) occur primarily within the territorial jurisdiction of the United States…”

ref: Various Definitions of Terrorism

http://www.azdema.gov/museum/famousbattles/pdf/Terrorism%20Definitions%20072809.pdf

What do you think our familial understanding of terrorism looks like?

     There are a few examples of this I can share with you, this information is based on just a small reference to the many cases that happen like these everyday. On average, as referred to by the CDC; we have approximately 1 in 4 homes suffering in some form of Mental Health problems, substance abuse, and also violence (what we commonly refer to as Child Abuse & Domestic Violence).

     When you combine these three highly escalating issues, then we have outbursts, which can often go on for days on end, then slack off a bit before starting back up again without warning. Very rarely do we see it end permanently without intervention of some type. Commonly the acts of what we will refer here to as ‘TERRORISM’; these outburst of the dominating personality within the home will rage fiercely for quite some time about something as silly as a child’s toy being left in the living room, or perhaps dinner was not as expected; perhaps they may suspect, in their own insecurities, that their target person has said something to someone, because they know these outbursts of fierce dominating control through acts of violent rage, sexual depravity, and threats with weapons are not approved by society. These types of abusers will attack a target member of the household because of their need to feel powerful, controlling that one particular family member or perhaps the entire household; but it is their place to dominate and they will not allow another person to take that power away from them.

    These types of ‘family terrorists’ will use vicious threats against their target, and it may vary from person to person within the close family unit. Their threats are commonly done with weapons, guns or knives usually. They can hold their victim in control for hours during one specific attack or for multiples of years in repeated attacks and heinous depravity, all because there is no one to stop them. These actions are even more impacting and life traumatizing if the target of these attacks is a young child and either both parents are using extreme harmful actions against the child or they are terrorized by just one dominating parent who has terrorized others so viciously that no one feels brave enough to step in and protect that child. Terroristic acts can also be used in the severe cases of child rape, hurtful (as apposed to ‘gentle’) acts of molestation, which is also the case in painful forced oral sex acts with the parent, or in cases of child sex trafficking any of these acts might be forced between multiple persons. It is not uncommon to find more and more cases of familial child sex trafficking here in the United States, just as it is in many other countries. 

    The ‘Family Terrorist’ is also well know normally for being an alcoholic or addicted to some type of substance. This is as the numbers of unemployed or living below normal average income puts additional stress on the household. You will find that the already documented statistical information personally researched by ‘Trish’ McKnight of Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery; the stats for 2011 confirm through the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data Base that parents are 92% of all offenders in cases of Child Maltreatment Reports entered into our system across the United States.

     A person who commits an act of extreme violence, such as use of weapon, risk of severe bodily injury or a believed fear of death, they deserve to be classified as a ‘TERRORIST’ no matter which of the above definitions you wish to use. These types of monstrous attacks happen about every 10 seconds in our country and as of the report mentioned above, along with Congress noting that “For every one act of sexual abuse against a child that is reported into our nation’s systems, at least six others are never reported’; with this collected information our country has 1 in 3 children at risk of being harmed within their family. Sadly in most of the other allotted six who are never reported and no intervention or recovery process is initiated; the secret is then carried to an early grave for the survivor living in distress without the proper support services and specialized counseling to help heal the intensely deep hidden wounds left behind in the mass of destruction committed against them by the ‘Family Terrorist’ who tortured and violated them until they had hidden so much away in their trapped silence, they no longer knew their true identity and the many possible dreams they could have achieved.

I am presently searching for an attorney who would like to assist in my own case using these definitions, just so that we can have a case on the books with these already provided guided laws of ‘terrorism’. Surely there is a way we can hold these types of monsters responsible for the acts they either ignored in their home or inflicted upon a person within their home. Hopefully there is an attorney with the guts to take this crucial piece of legislature in to prove the lifelong trauma and continued level of self destructive acts which occurred because there was no person that intervened to help prevent this harm or to provide any hope of rescue. When the trauma is so severe it scars your soul and leaves you worrying about the afterlife itself, then these are cases of ‘’’terrorism’ and they should be held accountable for their actions.

      Please help in the continued work for this important measure by signing the petition through this link, Change.org –

https://www.change.org/p/u-s-house-of-representatives-family-terrorist-act-trecia-s-law-use-the-federal-definition-of-terrorism-for-those-who-abuse-with-unspeakable-actions?utm_medium=email&utm_source=notification&utm_campaign=new_petition_recruit#share

Feel free to leave your thoughts; Do you feel a law of this type will or will not work in today’s society? I believe that we have become a society complacent with the words Child Abuse & Domestic Violence/Interpersonal Violence. We are not shocked until it becomes an extremely vicious account declared newsworthy and shared by the media locally or even nationally. If these cases are so immensely horrific then why prosecute them for only part of the deep wounding they have left on their victims, let’s use a distinction between the different levels of abuse and the extreme types of violent depraved actions committed by what may seem a ‘monstrous’ personality.

Please friends, sign & share, let’s keep this measure moving forward.

Remember NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON IN THIS GREAT COUNTRY HAS ANY GIVEN RIGHT TO TAKE AWAY YOUR PERSONAL RIGHT TO BE SAFE!!

Patricia A. McKnight

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Cert Trainer Human Trafficking 101

Il Domestic Violence Advocate Support

Panel Speaker/Mentor/Author

‘My Justice’ – get your copy through Amazon, bn.com, Authorhouse

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Dear Mr. President…..

In the FFY 2011 the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data Systems (NCANDS) recorded the demographics for 3,712,034 reports of child maltreatment across the country. Sadly, because of the low number of Child Protective Service workers (being only 33,000), and because a single call taker on each of these reports was permitted to make the determination as to whether or not the report warranted any further investigation, and whether or not the report met the required individual state’s mandated guidelines; our system allowed 2,360,614 of these reports to be written off as Unsubstantiated without any further investigation needed. Even more horrifying Mr. President, is that in the overall 3.7 Million calls only 0.1% of these were found to be false claims. How can we wipe away 2.3 million reports without a 2nd or even 3rd opinion to determine the need for further investigation? How when the proven total of false claims is less than 1% of all reports; how can we say as a country that we did our best to protect our children?

Mr. President, it is with the utmost respect for what you have been able to achieve in your service as our 44th American President, which I come to you as a citizen, a survivor of horrific child maltreatment witnessed and allowed by an entire community for 9 consecutive years, while attending the same school system; yet not one single person cared enough to enforce the enacted child maltreatment protection laws to help rescue me from the monsters who were my parents.

Mr. President, I write to you today as a strong advocate against all abuses of this nature. I have taken what nightmares I endured as a child for the entire twelve long years and turned this into a published autobiography in the memoir ‘My Justice’, which I’m ecstatic to share has been used to teach upcoming marriage & family therapists; reached into the hearts of medical professionals, and has impacted the lives of hundreds of survivors who have been inspired to also begin their recovery and heal their own inner wounds from the lifetime histories of abuse and evil.  Also, in a drive to empower the community & family friends to stand as defenders and report all suspicions of abuse; child maltreatment, I’ve founded a new service, which is self funded, supported by incredible advocates across the country, and now a true resource; Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery. Everyday I connect, support, mentor survivors who are struggling through the lifelong impact of P.T.S.D., depression and many other mental health difficulties.There have been speaking engagements and trainings on how I can best help to assist families, victims, survivors to move past what has happened and the trauma which invaded their lives. At the same time I’ve continued my mission of self study of these impacts, our laws, and ongoing local community work to better assist and introduce our local services to our citizens so they understand the who and how of helping someone in a moment of need. In truth, Mr. President, I will give my last breath to make sure that I am doing all I can to educate others, support those suffering, and prevent all I can from happening to our children today.

It is crucial Mr. President that we begin today as a strong country to end the evil crimes we commit against our children and the loved ones in our homes. In order to ensure that all crimes of this nature are being handled appropriately and that all states are ready to join in this mission, I beg you Sir, please create a federal reform of the mandated child maltreatment reporting guidelines, so that we are meeting the very best of these protections and investigations for the well being of our continued generations. We can no longer pretend not to know or recognize when a child is being harmed. Throughout centuries we have permitted and tolerated these types of crimes to fester in the taught silence within our families and protecting the abusers by blaming the child victims and brushing it off as if it doesn’t matter. This has now become our own man-made created and tolerated cancer which has invaded generations of lives. The Center for Disease and Control reports about 50 million citizens living as survivors today, which generates a cost of approximately $124 Billion a year for the lifetime recovery of these brutal crimes.

It is now that we must absolutely create a FEDERAL WATCH FOR THE PROTECTION OF ALL CHILDREN. It is in doing this that we need to create a strict standard of investigational steps which must be followed through on absolutely every single report of child maltreatment. If we do not demand that all responsible adults protect the children around them and report the abuses or violence against children, then we are accepting that our children are not worth the time to investigate and mandate their protection. I beg every citizen to not allow the pedophiles and monsters to control the lives & create the nightmares our children will carry into adulthood and then they are the ones in control. What will we tell them, all of them? How many more lives will we permit in the destruction which invades their adult skills and ability to function?

In respect,

Sincerely,

Patricia A. McKnight

Author: My Justice

Founder/C.E.O. – Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Advocate/Speaker/Consultant/Radio Host/Survivor

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio

Silence is not a lesson we should be teaching

As the attention in our country continues to circle around Mental Illness our media has increased their reporting on these issues. This morning my local news, KMOV News 4 Awake Reporter Laura Hettiger provided such a report. In her most excellent talent, she shared the St. Louis County Police Department’s actions to develop a special team; Crisis Intervention Team. This details at least one officer on every shift in St. Louis County is undergoing a special training course directly related to defusing a situation they respond to that involves a person with mental illness.

The C.I.T. program provides direct training for intervention to communicate and talk with a person to get them help. This was actually influenced by the escalation of shootings and such occurring in our area. The officers are trained on how to talk with the person in an attempt to calm them and prevent escalation into a more serious or deadly act of violence. The person is then taken to area hospitals where they can be seen and treated before a determination is made. Truly I think this is a wonderful step in preventing the outbreak of serious crimes as our warmer months begin and the tempers escalate into something much more dangerous. As many advocates & centers are aware, the heat has a very adverse reaction on tempers especially within our own families.

I’ve done a few write ups about mental illness and the direct relation to abuse or violence. There is more and more data being shared about mental health and the correlation with these forms of direct traumatic personal violations. Since I suffer with some of the mental health problems myself; P.T.S.D., Generalized Anxiety, and off and on Depression; I wanted to address this once again. I also personally know a few people who were perfectly fine until traumatic sexual assault or abuse was inflicted and now they suffer with some of these same illnesses, but also a few others have gone into extreme cases where Bipolar, Schizophrenia, Clinical Depression have been diagnosed a few months or even a few years after the attack.

The National Institute of Mental Health and Center for Disease Control and Prevention both have studies on this topic abuse and violence directly impact our brain function and the trauma of survivors. The recent attention on mental health has prompted new studies to begin by advocacy organizations as well. I do believe the ongoing attention of our mental health and faulty healthcare system will hopefully provide updated reports to better enhance services within the next few years.

The direct impact of abuse or violence has a high relation to the many diagnosis of mental health prominent in society today. In her report Ms. Hettiger shared alarming numbers of statistics known at this point; 1 in 5 Americans suffer from some form of mental illness. This is 20% of our society, which means most of us know someone who is suffering with some form, even a slight form of mental health issue. I’m not saying that all diagnosis are related to abuse; I’m merely pointing out the direct impacts of abuse and violence proven related through various studies today.

One way for me to explain this better is for you to think about our military. Our men and women have to undergo exams for physical and mental health before being accepted into our armed forces. Once determined they meet the guidelines, they are then sent into war zones and will serve anywhere from 3 months to a year or more in constant high alert and life threatening situations. In these battle zones they hear gun fire, watch their team members get blown up by buried bombs; many loosing limbs or even their lives right in front of them. As we are realizing today, more and more of our veterans are coming home with deep emotional trauma resulting in their difficulty settling back in with general society and the ‘norm’ of daily behavior. Many have rage outbreaks because of the flashbacks and nightmares. Many are constantly haunted by the visions of what they endured. This is a concern for all of us, especially those many millions directly related to these incredible soldiers and war heroes. Our society consoles them, we offer friendship, support, any praise we can to let them know we want to help them and give them great honor for the battles they’ve fought to protect our freedom and the rights of humans in other countries; which of course I feel is exactly how we should honor them..

Sadly however, there is one war zone of constant high alertness and life threatening situations which general society hasn’t been so easily acceptable to understanding yet. This is the war zone that exists within our own homes every day. Men, women, and especially children are living in this same intense threat of being harmed, beaten to death, raped, tortured by those who should guide and protect them; those these victims love most in the world become the repeated violator of their personal wellbeing. Our homes become the most dangerous place in the world as relative to our lives.

According to the Children’s Bureau report for FFY 2011; 80.8% of reported cases of child harm violators are the child’s parent or parents. In only 2.1% of the reported cases is it a stranger who has harmed or murdered them. Even more grave is the fact that 78.3% of Child Death is directly related to abuse from a parent; calculating to be 906 DEATHS BY A PARENT for that one year alone. Keep in mind this is reported stats only when it is clearly documented on the death certificate as to the related cause of death. Many of these murders, like with Domestic Violence, are not properly documented. Also to note that 85% of abuses against children and in relationship violence is NEVER reported.

Along with this report and the studies by N.I.M.H. and the C.D.C., we have proof updated as early as two years ago as to the growing severity of abuse and violence within our homes and the extreme emotional trauma as a result of these epidemic crimes. If we are willing as a society, to accept the emotional wounds of our war heroes, veterans, then we must also accept the studies for the extreme trauma of the abuse and violence; supporting those who have survived these battle zones.

Throughout centuries we have ‘TAUGHT’ silence and acceptance to our kids and the victims of Domestic Violence or Sexual Assault. We’ve shamed them and shunned them; blamed them and silenced them because we could not accept our own refusal to help them and place the shame on the perpetrators; most often because it brought shame to the family. Let me ask you this; if we tell our kids they deserved the extreme beating as discipline or that sex between a parent and child is normal, then why is there so much shame and silence placed on the victim? Is this because we cannot accept our own guilt in the acceptance of these actions? Since we as family members and close friends cannot see that our own blindness and our ‘TAUGHT’ acceptance of these actions result in a greater emotional trauma on the victims, then in a sense we have to accept our portion of blame for the growing rate of mental illness related to these crimes in society today.

There are five easy steps we can take to be pro-active in the measure to help ourselves, or a family member or close friend cope and rebuild from the impact of these attacks:

1) Accept the truth of how the acts of physical and sexual abuse against ANYONE at any point in their life impacts their emotional and mental wellbeing; specifically the severe after-affects of these crimes and the cross-wiring of our normal brain functions and emotional responses.

2) Understand how PTSD, Anxiety, Depression directly affect our emotional behaviors. This allows you to pick up on the subtle signs of an action or reaction, which enables you to better help that person through the moment or guide them to resources of counseling or medical care.

3) Always report an act of this type. Encouraging victims to get help or call the police, rather than enforcing silence and acceptance.

4) Ask our healthcare system to provide not just a pill for the primary diagnosis, but to research the root problem and help provide services for healing and rebuilding.

5) Most importantly DO NOT SHAME THE VICTIM!! Do not say or ask inappropriate things in which places blame on the victim. These acts themselves have a long centuries old enforcement of blaming and shame, so its imperative for us NOT to act or react in this manner; but instead show compassion, empathy, understanding of the deep trauma caused and the suffering of the victim.

It is possible for society to help change what has always been TAUGHT in the silence and acceptance of these crimes, which they are indeed crimes. If we encourage those harmed to begin healing by releasing themselves from the burden of secrecy about past acts against them; teaching talking because this is always the first step to recovery from any form of trauma.

Also teach children today that no matter who is harming them, extreme acts of ‘so called’ discipline or any form of sexual contact by an adult, their parent, a sibling , or any uncomfortable touching by another child or adult, is never a secret and is never acceptable. Teach them they are allowed to tell someone; even when the abuser tells them it is a ‘special’ secret or threatens harm against them. The only way we will ever be able to battle against the pedophiles in our society is to be sure it is prosecuted as a crime and that the victims feel encouraged to tell someone rather than be manipulated into secrecy. The secret is what helps hide the pedophiles and beaters in society today. They attend our churches, teach our children, they babysit for us; they are most commonly the parents of these harmed children!!

Empowering society to become involved and better able to be the supportive person needed, we can begin to change our world and the pandemic rates of abuse and violence throughout our families. We do not have to accept these actions any longer. We can learn from the generation of present day society, and the past generations of silent victims, letting their experiences be our teaching guide. This allows us to help rescue and reduce the impact of this trauma by providing early intervention; thus reducing, at least on some level, the continued growth of mental illness in the United States today.

If you or someone you know has just been physically or sexually assaulted:

1) Do not shower or change your clothing, there is crucial evidence on your person.

2) Call 911 or your local emergency response right away. It is necessary to report the attack and have the formal charges brought against your abuser.

3) Go to the hospital and get a physical exam, which may require a Rape Kit. The hospital will document the attack, photograph and provide necessary medical care.

These 3 STEPS are difficult at best, I understand that, but they are necessary to prevent another attack and to allow for the victim to be provided the proper resources and intervention needed to help them recover. Please be a friend and help these homeland war heroes who endure vicious attacks every moment of every day right here in our own country. Thank you

 

©Patricia A. McKnight

Author: ‘My Justice’

Founder: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Advocate/Speaker/Talk Radio Prod & Host/Survivor

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery

http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

Twitter/Google+/Linkedin/Tumblr/Pinterest

 

 

 

Please tell me why this is not a crucial point of attention!

Child Abuse Prevention & Sexual Assault Awareness

So I’m a bit angry; why you might ask?

m1

There is actually a couple of answers to this question.

1) Another year has come and gone in which not a single politician or lawmaker who has the power to call attention to the ongoing Child Abuse and Family Violence within our society has been willing to make it a public issue.

2) April is upon us and although there are many great events planned throughout this special month, the problem I have comes down to this;

Why in the hell do we not honor Sexual Assault Awareness Month and Child Abuse Prevention Month with their own specific month?

This is a topic I briefly addressed last night on Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Talk Radio and one I will share more with you today.

You see it bothers me that we don’t feel these two issues are worthy of having their own special month, so we join them together and address the issue as a whole rather than in the honor they so very much deserve.

As a survivor of both very horrific child physical, emotional, neglectful, and sexual abuse, which also included exploitation and trafficking within my own small hometown community; I’m also a RAPE SURVIVOR!! (Of course there are also the 20 years spent living in almost deadly relationship violence in my lifetime as well)

In our society we have problems talking about the crimes of family violence, child sexual abuse, molestation and the like. For some reason it is something we still consciously choose to keep in the dark; whisper about but don’t accept publicly. This is an outrage because of the millions, estimated at some 40 to 60 million, who are survivors now living and struggling with the aftermath and trying to be accepted in society. However, to be accepted we must not speak of what’s happened in our past. We mustn’t discuss the dark family secrets simply because of the shame it could bring to the family dynasty. REALLY?

How good are the morals of that so called dynasty if we are raping and beating; torturing our children? What is the quality of mankind’s decency if we are forcing survivors of these most vicious and heinous acts to remain silent and fear public and family abandonment? Why is it still so the norm to put the blame of these acts against children who could not defend themselves nor run from their attacker?

These same ugly secrets and fears apply to those who have been raped as adults. However, I will say the response to admitting you are a rape victim is a bit more tender than that of a childhood rape survivor. I truly do not understand this on any level!!!

Our society and our justice system has shown that we still blame the rape victim, no matter how old they are. This was seen just recently in the Steubenville, Ohio rape trial. However, as we’ve also seen, the community has rallied around the victim and let her know she is not in this alone. We are outraged by the minimal sentencing of these perpetrators and the lack of prosecuting those who witnessed, recorded, and posted pictures and discussions about the young men carrying this victim because she was too drunk to walk. We are talking to our kids about the right and wrong of this and I’ve seen many great articles and blogs written from various survivors and others.

Please do not take me wrong, I am most definitely 100% behind the victims whose cases of gang rape and various other attacks have come to our public attention lately. Thank goodness we are beginning to rally behind them rather than turn away.

I ask you though;

What in the hell is so different about these cases of rape we’ve heard about lately and those who are coming forward about the childhood filled with years of brutal attacks of rape, trafficking, and truly physical torture beyond the darkest of imagination?

Also, permit me to add, we rally behind and acknowledge the many long term issues of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Anxiety and more which our war heroes and the recent public rape victims are left to carry. There are continuously more and more psychologists and others with organizations such as National Institute of Mental Health and our Center for Disease Control and Prevention who have conducted studies on the after effects of both war and sexual assault. These studies have concluded that the trauma of both of these life threatening personal situations and attacks leave the same lasting emotional scars.

On this note;

How do you think these lasting effects of trauma and life threatening attacks impact the lives of the many childhood rape survivors today? What is the big difference between supporting and gathering our voices for the war heroes and veterans, the recent rape victims and others, verses the many millions of child rape and abuse survivors who are still forced to hide in the shadows of our society? How is this right on any level of our decency?

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The day will come when we can begin to change the acts of abuse and violence within our homes. It will become a force to be reckoned with as we begin to support those who are sharing their stories today. The problem however, is that it’s not happening fast enough for the many millions of children who are living in the hell now!! The recent collection of Child Maltreatment Reports from the nationwide Child Protective Services; shows a grand total of 3,734,012 reports of child abuses reported in 2011. This is just one year. The Federal Children’s Bureau is presently looking at reports collected from 2007 through 2011 to update our present statistics shared, which were collected and officially reported in 1996.

If we cannot recognize the very importance of this issue and address it head on as a joined and united society, then what are we passing on to our children? Are we showing them we care and want them to have the best if we still are not willing to acknowledge the severity of the issues and how prevalent the acts of abuse and violence truly are in the homes around us?

I understand that by acknowledging the voices from the past we have to accept what we may have witnessed and allowed to exist. We have to accept that some of mankind’s darkest attacks on others happen within our own homes or within those homes of our neighbors. We have to accept that we may have heard the screams for mercy or the horrific cries of a child and did nothing. We have to accept that mothers and fathers, brothers, sisters and close family friends have all seen or been party to these heinous acts, but stood by and did nothing for these children. It’s a lot to accept and I get that, truly I do. I am one of those many who had an entire community, school system, law enforcement, family friends, school mates and others who all witnessed, took part in, or knew of the many attacks from my stepfather. They also watched as I physically rotted away in the disfiguring neglect because of my mother’s lack of even the slightest of human kindness or caring for this one specific daughter.

It’s an ugly situation we are faced with, but we must absolutely act on it now. This month of April; this dedicated month for Sexual Assault Awareness and Child Abuse Prevention cannot be another dismissed month without the attention of our politicians, lawmakers, and those in our society with the power to change our laws and create a stronger united front of education and prevention on these issues. Those who have the power to rescue our kids. Those in our communities who know these families living in this type of hell and do nothing;

child screaming help me

WE ABSOLUTELY NEED EVERYONE ON THIS NOW!!! OUR CHILDREN LIVES, THEIR FUTURE, THEIR WELL BEING, THEIR HOPE FOR LIVING SAFE IN THIS WORLD; ABSOLUTELY DEPENDS ON US ACCEPTING ALL OF THESE UGLY TRUTHS AND RALLYING BEHIND THE MANY VOICES SPEAKING TO EDUCATE AND ELIGHTEN US ON THE HELL OF BEING ONE OF THESE CHILDHOOD NIGHTMARE SURVIVORS!!

If we continue to wear our blinders and pretend not to notice how many are being harmed every single moment of every single day, then we will never be able to stop this horrific man-made cancer that is eating away at the very soul of our existence as a human race. It is crucial that the topic of child abuse and family violence become a common discussion and one that we all are willing to address. It is no longer about what has happened to so many of us or how ugly these acts are, but more instead about how we can learn to be aware of these truths, support these victims and survivors, help provide resources and recovery systems for families and victims, as well to speak to each and every school system and child about the voice they have and how to use it to protect someone they feel is in danger of an attack within their own home.

It is a horrible truth to accept and discuss, but what is the outcome if we continue on the path we are today? Simply put, it will continue. Sure we are a society that is slowly becoming more vigilant about what we see and hear around us, but we are nowhere near where we should be on this issue. What is so damn difficult about this? Why don’t our politicians and lawmakers address this in their speeches and their election platforms?

Why is it so taboo to say: I am a childhood rape survivor?

Isn’t the nurturing and overall safety of our children an issue that all of us in society can rally around today? Tell me please what is the difference between understanding the danger within our homes, supporting those who have gone through decades of self destructive and sometimes suicidal endings; when will we be strong enough to accept our faults, push aside our generational teachings of silence, and finally step up to the plate to defend each and every child from the evil that lurks within their home?

As much as I hope this write up catches the attention of every human being, it is simply my prayer that we will learn to accept what’s happened in our past and use it as an education towards what we need to end in their future!!!

Please do something now and make the issue of child abuse and family violence prevention a topic which all of us can share over a cup of coffee or during lunch with a friend. We can do this and teach our kids there is no shame in being an abuse survivor. Instead, there is hope and great courage in using your voice to speak out and seek help!!

Thank you for reading and I do hope you’ll share!!

© Patricia A. McKnight

Author: ‘My Justice’

Advocate/Speaker/Talk Radio Prod. & Host/Survivor

Founder: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery

http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

Artwork courtesy of: Michal Madison Art

http://www.michalmadisonart.com

The Battle and the Aftermath……..

**Be advised that this entire blog site may be triggering!! Be advised that this blog site is my personal expression and not intended as any form of professional guidance or opinion. Read this blog with care, understanding and kindness**

Do you suffer with days of anxiety, depression or anger, even pain that cannot be medically explained?

Do you have in and out days of  loneliness, isolation, a sense of violation?

Do you have those times when you bark out or blow up at others and not sure what they did or why you even acted that way towards them?

Has your sense of personal safety been attacked or violated?

Are you a survivor of some type of Child Abuse or Intimate Partner Violence?

In my life there have been a ton of years; actually a lifetime, spent at the mercy of someone else. You wake up praying nothing will happen to set of your abuser’s temper, or that your abuser won’t attack you sexually or physically. You do all that is humanly possible not to set off these actions, but for some reason there is nothing you can do to stop it from happening.

You live as a PRISONER, waiting to see what battles you will have to endure today.

When you’re living in this hell all you can do is get through; for whatever reason you have to wake up the next day; sometimes it’s hard to see that reason. Never doubt that it is there!!

You hang on and endure all the pain of  these battles, hoping it will one day come to an end.

Remember that while living in this expectant fear of attack the continued Hyper Reactive Mode connects straight to our “Fight or Flight” reactions. This is a natural reaction that is bred into our bodies and in our DNA. All animals and humans alike have this same survival instinctive behavior. When we endure this ongoing heightened mode of alertness, our body is instantly tensed for response; ready to react in order to survive.

Know that YOU ARE MEANT TO SURVIVE!! There is a purpose for your existence even though you may not yet see where it leads.

People may come to you and say, “You look exhausted, why don’t you just relax?” If only that were possible!!!

Did you know that even when you are rescued; either by someone else or by making that decision to escape, your body tends to remain in this hyper mode. You find yourself living with all of these continued emotions. Sometimes you can’t quite figure out why. You know that you are safe, no one is hurting you or threatening you now, so why are all these days of distress still keeping you down?

We often try everything we can think of to ease these roller coaster days. You may turn to alcohol, drugs, marijuana, or even self harm to let out the emotions or bury them. Sometimes we try getting through by just simply ignoring them, but it’s still there. Nothing seems to relieve the problem which ends up causing a distress of “Why can’t I handle this?” It seems to have a hold on us and can keep us back from taking part in our lives; exercising, planning, dreaming, succeeding our goals.

If you are not a person living with these ongoing daily struggles, you may see it within your family or in your circle of friends. Let me encourage those who do live with these struggles,”It is alright for you to have these days. It is safe to believe in your own happy future”!!! If you know or love someone who is in this daily battle, please do all you can to support them and encourage them to keep believing that peace will come.!!

None of us who deal with the craziness of destruction want our life or our family to be effected by our dysfunction of emotion. When you think about your past and the crimes against you though, I want you to understand that this is completely normal for what you’ve gone through.

Think about what our veterans of war endure long after the battle is over. They to live in the mixed up days of the aftermath. “Isn’t what you’ve gone through similar to what our heroes of freedom survived?”

You’ve had a time in your life, some of us even years into decades, of living in the constant threat of battle; violations against our personal safety. The longer the duration of this constant threat, the deeper the impact on the person.

It bothers me that when our soldiers have days of mental and physical reaction to their days in war, we usually encourage them to go into therapy and work through what’s happened. We support their need to get extra help. We do all we can to help them work through those days when their emotions rant in anger, fire up with pain, or break down in sadness. Sometimes we want to walk away from them, but we don’t. We, those who love our heroes of war, will take care of them and stand by them. We understand all that has threatened them; we love them for the strength and courage they had to make it through.

Let me ask; “Aren’t our children and partners, who have made it through years of sexual, physical and emotional torture, aren’t they heroes as well?” They too have survived “WAR LIKE” crimes against them!! Shouldn’t these amazing warriors be able to use their voice; scream out for recognition and validation for their emotional suffering?

These outstanding human beings have battled through years of survival under constant threat and they deserve to be heard, seek help, be supported and understood by family, friends, society!!

Survivors of these battles, I am begging you to seek a therapist or support group to help you through!!! Research what you’ve gone through; understand the aftermath your body and mind are reacting to, physically attend therapy rather than join a virtual support group. You need that physical connection with others like yourself. You need to see the faces of the many survivors around you; know that they too suffer with many of the same problems and reactions. Use the resources to help you recognize whats going on and why some days you just can’t shake it off.

I can tell you first hand that facing these are not easy; accepting the scars you carry is sometimes impossible. Looking at how your days of destruction are effecting those you love is very difficult, but for you to gain your happiness back it is necessary for you to go through this process. You have to guide yourself through a creative path to finding the person that lives inside the darkness. Like our war heroes you may have a lifetime of different issues that you’re left to deal with, but you can understand, conquer, and overcome this damage.

Please know that a large number of families have some one living in the aftermath of battle. Support them to seek professional guidance and recovery resources. Comfort and understand their bad rocky days. Listen to their voice as they tell you about their fears. Reach out to wipe away their tears, give them a hug and tell them how happy you are they made it through.

THEY SURVIVED THE BATTLE OF FREEDOM!!!

(c)Patricia A. McKnight

http://www.patriciamcknightsjustice.com

http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

References;

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11048821

http://www.apa.org/research/action/ptsd.aspx

http://www.csus.edu/calst/government_affairs/reports/ffp32.pdf