President Obama back in Springfield Today….

First KPLR News 11 announced the expected Presidential Speech today sharing his thoughts on National Budget and the huge Budget Crisis in Illinois these past eight months. 

Daily Herald out of Chicago, Journalist Mike Ripello, has written this article for today’s expected speech..

Now they say only a credentialed persons will be allowed in the Capitol Building today, even employees are out. There will be a small gathering at a local Art Venue afterward, but those are also a select few who can attend.

Nine years ago President Obama stood in the same place as Abraham Lincoln did many years ago when he announced his Presidential Campaign. Now as we all know in America, #PresidentAbrahamLincoln is the one president who actually did something amazing for our country, he gave equality to all mankind.

In the past year I’ve been collaborating with Dana Pfeiffer of Grounds of Grace & Lisa Chilton of Violence Prevention Center SW IL; together we have met with House Representative Jay Hoffman; States Attorney Brendan Kelly; U.S. Attorney Fairview Heights Office; Congressman John Shimkus. Dana and I have done about 5 or 6 speaking presentations at U of I Springfield, Lindenwood, Prevent Child Abuse Illinois, and a few Anti Human Trafficking events in Effingham, Springfield, Vandalia. I personally have collaborated with Kailyn Hill, legal writer for House Representative Office. I’ve also recently submitted five years of research to Assistant Attorney General Jessica O’Leary.

Each meeting, speaking event, and collaborating work has been based on Updating Illinois Legislation in our Statute of Limitations and Prosecutorial Guidelines for Violent Crimes Against Children. Last March after receiving an expected rewriting amendment

#HB 3242, finally providing Involuntary Sexual Servitude of a Child; Criminal Sexual Assault of a Child; Forced Servitude; Criminal Sexual Abuse of a Child – HB 3242 Amending a 20 YEAR AFTER VICTIMS 13TH BIRTHDAY in Illinois for these crimes. 

Last March, I received a statement – ‘We regret that due to recent budget crisis in Illinois, we are unable to address the proposed amendment #HB3242 at this time. Hopefully we will be able to address this next session in September. Well, September came and went, and NO, I’ve never heard anything but a ‘NOT AT THIS TIME’ statement from all of the persons named above.

The most recent response, no responsibility of responder, Assistant Attorney General Office Of Policy, but rather our Legislative Leaders, ‘We do not have the budget to introduce any new bills at this time.’ Continuously I am told how incredible the justification and laws already in place to defend the amendment to better protect ALL children, across our nation and around the world. However, even in election year, the massive numbers (3.7 Million Criminal Reports of Maltreatment & Sexual Abuse) these are the plus numbers of children being reported hurt in our country every year and growing in the past ten years; even with all of this and the Congressional Statement of 2012 in addressing Adult Related Sexual Assault – ‘For every ONE report that is made, at least SIX others are not’; allowing this same variable for children who live under the direct control of their parents, who are sometimes terrorized in physical and mental grievous injury ‘DO NOT EVER TELL OR I WILL KILL YOU’ –

Illinois Legislators, what happened to the greatest gift from President Abraham Lincoln, the one true Civil War where some 50 Million Soldiers died to give FREEDOM FOR ALL MANKIND ACROSS THE COUNTRY –

13th Amendment

Section 1.

Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

Section 2.

Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

So for Illinois Legislative Leaders, Governor Bruce Rauner, President Obama – TODAY I ASK YOU ALL – When will it be time to address the constant disregard of those being hurt, molested, trafficked, trapped in servitude and fear – Leaders when will it be time to make all things equal and uphold the laws to PROTECT ALL PERSONS EQUALLY, regardless of age, gender, race, religion, even place of residence or economic standing? This 13th Amendment protects all persons, not just some. We have laws written at a higher level, United Nations General Assembly, Universal Declaration of Human Rights – Ensuring at the highest ruling of mankind, a guaranteed inalienable right to be free; free from harm & free from the fear of harm.

I am all for the full support and development necessary to protect Healthy Loving Family….we should all be so lucky to live in such a home. However, according to centers for Disease and Control, at least 1 in 4 homes are dealing with some form of violent or abusive action. As a survivor of one of the most grievous cases of child abuse in history, and still baring the disfiguring scars and broken decayed smile to prove it; we can never allow this to happen to another human being again- NEVER!!!

The below video interview with Rebecca Kimbel shows some very disturbing photos of what I look like today as the final result of what an ENTIRE COMMUNITY WATCHED HAPPEN AND WHISPERED ABOUT IN THE DESTRUCTION OF A CHILD THROUGHOUT THE 1970’s in Freeburg Illinois. My mother permitted late night special parties with grown men paying my stepfather a couple of bucks to come party with the little girl from about age 13, by 15 it is just the way it was and I did not dare complain, but many saw me beg for my life and still turned away. The school system, the law enforcement, the lack of medical and dental care, the bruises, lack of passing school grades and homework rarely done; regardless of every RED FLAG I COULD POSSIBLY FLY – it was all still ignored for six consecutive years. Yes, it is one of the worst cases of child abuse, forced sexual servitude of a child, exploitation of a child, criminal sexual abuse of a child, extreme neglect of all basic necessities of a child – all of these crimes and not to mention how many times a week I was beaten to a pulp for some stupid reason or another, even putting on a pair of Flannel Pajamas like they had some type of special force that would protect me from the vile acts I tried to escape.

When will we have a budget necessary to begin simply teaching the RIGHT TO BE SAFE? iS IT LIKE TRYING TO DETERMINE IF YOU HAVE THE FINANCIAL NEEDS TO BRING A CHILD INTO THIS WORLD? If so, NO Parent is ever actually ready for a child,but when you bring them into the world, the law is very clear they are your responsibility UNTIL YOU CAN NO LONGER TAKE CARE OF THEM OR YOU ARE HARMING THEM. Sadly, our Family Court and Social Services are all directed to guide reunification, despite reports of maltreatment and regardless of ability to care for the child. They are not the State or Government’s problem, and since they cannot vote, their voice is ALWAYS disregarded. It has been stated by Childhelp America – ‘A child must tell 7 different people about their pain before someone will actually listen and believe them enough to help them’. A young person barely has enough courage to tell one person about their horror, much less seven.

Technically in trying to gather support and get a Federal Mandate protecting young persons; I’ve been rejected by SEVEN – will I find someone that really believes the data & studies put together before ever bringing this request forward. If I didn’t have the data to prove what I say, how I feel, and what is absolutely necessary – I certainly would not be trying so hard again and again, rejection after rejection, to do something so society will listen.

When will we have a leader that will open the door and step inside the crime that happens every single day, in every single neighborhood and apartment building; sometime happening day after day, year after year; holding the quiet tears of a young person who cannot refuse, cannot fight back, and cannot run away. These should be our highest priority in our strength as a human society today, but somehow we just DO NOT HAVE THE BUDGET TO INTRODUCE ANY BILLS OR MEASURES AT THIS TIME.

President Obama I beg you sir, If you really want to cause and create the greatest change for all persons in our society today; ADDRESS THE FAMILY CRIME STATUTES & PUBLIC POLICY PROVISIONS ACROSS THE COUNTRY. Our kids need us to pay attention NOW!!

Thanks for reading,

If you agree and believe that change is absolutely necessary, if you are a survivor who wants to share their voice to speak for children today, if you are a warrior of a resource of help – we need you to collaborate together across the country.

As said by Ms. Rebecca Kimbel & Ms. Stephanie Mann (Safe Kids Now National Network)

‘A single voice can never be heard in the forest, so we must be a Forest of Voices to help put the ‘Good’ as intended in our belief in God’

SIGN THIS PETITION—- MANDATING FEDERAL PROSECUTION & FAMILY OFFENDER RESPONSIBILITY FOR COMMITTING VIOLENT CRIMES & FORCED SERVITUDE OF CHILDREN…..

Video interview Parts 1 & 2 by Producer Host Rebecca Kimbel

 

 

Ask your legislators why they feel it is not important to address this issue at this time?

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The flannel pajamas– the warrior armor

youarenotalone    reflection   MyJustice

Dear Readers,

Every time I’m asked to speak at an event, I can’t help but be overwhelmed and triggered, so then I’m usually inspired to write. However the topic isn’t always pleasant. As with most of my writings this may be stressful for some to read, but if we do not challenge ourselves we can never move forward. This is part of my childhood memories and I hope it will empower and inspire you to become active in helping us update old laws and policies so that we can tell the children in America, that we are putting forth every possible protective measure to ensure that you will grow to believe in the protections; believe in your inalienable and fundamental RIGHT TO BE SAFE, to live free from harm and free from fear.

Thanks for reading, please sign the petition at the bottom and help us actively protect our nation’s children.

The story of ‘The Flannel Pajamas’ probably gives the best view into their daily fight for survival.

‘The Flannel Pajamas; a warrior’s armor’

Walter both hated me and adored me now. He still kept coming into the bathroom when I tried to bathe. He’d sit on the toilet seat, talking his filthy talk to me; making sure I felt as if I didn’t even know how to wash myself right, and also that I responded to all of his disgusting remarks. He always made me talk his dirty language and I knew way too much for my young age. I hated everything about my life. I hated him for making me participate in his sick little games. I hated everything about taking a bath, because it became part of his torture. I just wanted to get in the bathroom and hide, not bathe.

The last time I bathed he came in and I decided once again to try and be brave. I yelled downstairs to Mom asking her to make him get out. Of course nobody cared what I had to say as I started to speak up against him. When I yelled for Mom she just yelled back up for him to leave, as though it were an accident he was in there at all. The rage in his eyes grew so furious they looked like they were on fire. He walked out of the bathroom swearing he would get back at me. He would make sure I paid for speaking against him. Mother never asked, or seemed to care at all, if I was alright. In fact, she didn’t even care to hug me since he came into our lives and took away the happy child I was, and should have been.

He stomped down the stairs and when I hoped for her to start yelling at him or even better, maybe hit him; all I heard instead was the normal silence and him turning on the television. “What did I expect? There was never anyone that had stood up for me, questioned me, or helped me; why would that ever change?” 

Our new rental house was huge. The upstairs bedrooms were set up differently from most other houses I’d lived in over the years. We never seemed to stay in the same house very long. My little sister Rachel and I had the door to the right as you got to the top of the stairs. The interior wall had an open doorway from Mom’s room to mine. Mom slept on the right side of the bed, which put her on the same side as the open doorway. Walter would sometimes enter my room at night using that doorway, which meant he had to sneak out of bed and then walk along the end of their bed,walking past Mom to get into my room. Since Rachel and I shared a bed, not just a room, he had to be even more careful about his nighttime visits, because she was getting older and I know there are many troublesome memories she’s told me she’s had problems dealing with; although I’m not sure exactly what some of those memories entail.

As I got older, he would use more force in his hand that covered my mouth. When he snuck up to the side of my bed, his hand would clamp down around my jaw, squeezing so I could feel his dominance of secrecy during his torture. Actually he was growing more violent with me on a daily basis now. Since Mom was bartending in the evenings, it was easier for him to make my life a living hell. 

I had only one nightgown, which was a very thin, pale yellow, see through cotton gown. It had a white upper part around the chest just above my breasts with flowers of purple embroidered on it. It was a pretty gown, but actually much to old for me. Every time I wore it I felt ashamed because it was really too revealing for such a young girl. Supposedly this was a present he bought for me, which Mom had allowed him to pick out and purchase from Victoria Secrets when they took a day out for themselves walking around at the newly built Fairview Heights, ‘St. Clair Square’ mall. I had just one bra and shared my five year old sister’s underwear.

Richie had it made, or at least I thought he did. He had two doors which closed his room off. He actually had a door from the bathroom and a door from Mom’s room, and they both had bolting locks. Mom said, “He is a boy and boys are different from girls. He needs his privacy.” I could never understand the logic behind that excuse, but there was little I could do about changing her mind. He also had thick heavy flannel pajamas with a shirt that buttoned all the way up to the neck. I was so jealous of those pajamas and wanted them so badly. He had to pair of these awesome pajamas, but a night would come that I would sneak one of those, later stashing them away in the bottom drawer of the dresser I shared with Rachel. Although I only wore them one time, I did hang onto them. Much later as I was packing my clothes to leave home shortly after turning seventeen; I found them there and was instantly frozen, completely terrified and my breath stopped dead.

While I was trying to go through my day to day life of being a pre-teen dealing with school, my thoughts were always concentrated on hoping my mom was going to be home when Rachel and I walked in the door. It was my duty of course, to pick her up from class and be sure we came straight home. There were chores waiting everyday to be done. I still remember the extremely dreaded five block walk with my sister, who now had started kindergarten. The short distance felt more like five miles worrying about what was ahead that evening.

First I had to cook dinner for the five of us and clean up the kitchen. I had to do a load of laundry, help my sister with homework, make sure she got to bed on time, only then if there was time and peace I would try to do my schoolwork as well. This was my expected normal routine of daily life. Although my brother checked to make sure the trash got out, everything else my family needed always lied on my shoulders from about age ten. I really tried to pay attention in school, but there was just too many worries at home. My favorite subjects were Math and English, but I never had the guts to raise my hand or even answer a question when the teacher called on me. Walter had destroyed my self-confidence and my self-esteem with his constant abuse. Truthfully I really didn’t have either of those qualities, never believed there was anything good about me at all until I was about thirty-five. 

When I was in school all I noticed were the whispers and pointing from the other kids. I walked around by myself; keeping my head lowered and my mouth shut. Shelly and I didn’t have many classes together anymore, but she was still the best friend I had, the only one who seemed to talk with me now and then.

Everything Walter had done along with the neglect from my mother, just helped to confirm the filthy useless girl I felt I was inside. I didn’t want to draw any type of attention towards myself. Filthy, stench covered, ugly, and slave driven out of trained fear had become my identity at twelve years old. This was the only way I knew how to survive everyday. Survival meant I had to grow and adapt to my environmental surroundings. Distracting his attention away from me was my hardest chore. I kept hoping that maybe I could turn him off or better, maybe I could disgust him the way that I disgusted myself and then perhaps he would stay away.

Mom was never good at encouraging proper hygiene, nor did she care about teaching proper etiquette. She didn’t give the guidance that a struggling, drowning, young preteen girl needed. There was no discussion of boys and really no discussion of how my daily life was going. I was just there. There to clean, cook and take care of the family when she was working, which I surely understood she had to do, but I didn’t know that was supposed to include her husband. I felt as dirty and tangled inside as my hair and body were on the outside. I was ashamed of my life and the hell that I lived in. 

Despite my attempts to make myself as ugly as possible, nothing deterred Walter from the sadistic passion he held for me. The word “passion” was used by the multiple therapists who often told me that his involvement with me and my life had developed from a type of “sick passion and jealousy”. He sought me out no matter how hard I tried to avoid him. I think back as I write this and wonder if the more I tried to push him away maybe the more that action turned him on; this fed his need to terrorize me. Everyday I struggled just to complete my daily chores. He would sneak around me all the time. While I was cooking he would come by and rub my ass, whispering how much he loved it. He would come up behind me while doing dishes and grab my breast; pinching the nipple so hard it made me pull away in pain. As I sat at the table doing my homework he would sneak up and grab at me running his hand across my chest. He always looked at me with eyes glowing and a wicked smile of evil on his face. It was a battle to ensure the outside world only saw the make-up of our family. No one could ever know about the impossibility of trying to be a normal child while living in a torture chamber at home. I never wanted anyone to know the true hell that existed in our house. 

Things were always going to be evil on the nights when Mom worked, which was usually at least four night a week. It always guaranteed that my night would be hell. I could barely put dinner on the table or take care of my sister while trying to dodge his every move. Richie and Rachel were always safe; as I only ever saw him be mad at them once or twice the entire twelve years we lived in the same house as a family. If I maneuvered the night well I could at least get Rachel to bed without battling him for peace. When she got to bed I would run in the bathroom and wash off with a hot washcloth; it was impossible to attempt a bath.

My night started when his voice yelled out; “Richie get your ass up to bed and tell your sister to get her butt in here.” As my brother made his way reluctantly up the stairs he was angry because I was allowed to stay up longer. If he only knew, but I’m certain he has memories as well, especially a few particular nights with Walter for sure. I wanted to climb in a closet and hide or maybe find some hole in which to escape. The voice again, “Trecia Ann, get your ass down here right now. You better be ready for bed too.” This meant that I had best be wearing my little pale yellow nightgown; his favorite special nightgown just for me. A few time I’d try to be really brazen and leave my bra on to cover my breasts and some underwear for my bottom. This just made him angry and he made me take them off anyway, but as a little girl I would still try.

Climbing those stairs down to hell was as long as that dreadful walk home from school. I wanted to turn and run out the door; run anywhere. On this particular night I was so terrified that I went into Richie’s room and locked the door behind me. Walter was really getting pissed at me and started yelling with a deep growl in his voice. He was so furious that I hadn’t come back downstairs right away. “How dare I go against him,” he yelled out. It made him angry but no one else would do anything to help me so I had to try and protect myself. 

Walter’s voice only raged out towards me. He never yelled for my sister or brother, only me. He had his own private play doll; that was it, just a life size doll he had the freedom to play with; do with whatever he wanted. I wanted to be a plastic doll like the ones my dad gave me when I was a little girl. There would be no feelings or thoughts to race through my head; no terror to make me shake in the middle of the night, no feelings of any kind. His voice kept getting louder and I could tell how angry he was getting.

Desperately seeking safety I crawled into bed with Richie. As I curled up next to him and wrapped my arms around him, my little girl voice filled with small tears begged him to help me. “Please Bubby, please help me,” I said. Deep inside I just wanted to disappear, but I knew I could never get away from him. Every night it was the same. I’d pray as hard as I could, “Please God, please just make me a boy.” Richie finally pushed me out of his bed when Walter started threatening to come upstairs and get me. He looked at me; crying the tears of a helpless boy as he told me; ‘Sissy, I’m sorry. You have to go, he’s yelling for you. I can’t help you’.

I stood next to his bed, my small body just begging for someone to reach out for me, to protect me. I stood there with my arms locked around my body, squeezing and holding myself as I cried and pleaded for his help. He was just a boy though; what could he have done to help me? Before I left Richie’s room, I pulled out his dresser drawer and found a pair of those wonderful flannel pajamas, then I snuck into the bathroom, bolted both doors shut tight. The little girl who stood in front of the mirror looking at herself wondering, “What is it about me? What is it that makes him come after me?” My body was physically shaking from head to toe while I struggled to put on those flannel pajamas; “These pajamas will cover me completely and protect me”, as if they had some type of magical power which would prevent him from touching me.

I felt a little safer at first when I started down the stairs that night, but he was waiting at the bottom landing and I could see how angry he was. He stood there like a huge barrel blocking my way. He grabbed my hair as he pushed me into the living room and I fell to the floor. He yanked me back up by my arm and he used his other hand to undo his belt while he dragged me to the back of the house. It was that same hateful leather belt he had drawn blood with so many times before.

He threw me into the back laundry area of the house. Maybe I should have made a run for the back door. I remember looking at it, but I knew I wouldn’t make it, besides I was just a child; a little girl being beaten because she put on a pair of pajamas hoping in some way they would protect her. He slammed me into a corner that I couldn’t get out of as he swung the first sting of his dominating belt. He grabbed me and pushed me up against the washer forcing his body on me so hard that it felt as if I would break in half from the pressure. He was pushing me back with all of his weight, crushing me. I felt it difficult to breathe as he tried bending me backwards against the washer. He kept swinging the belt. He landed a lash around my thigh and the leather grabbed against my skin.

Off of the laundry room, in a little small corner was a half bath area, just a small sink with a toilet and shower stall. He drug me into the little room and bent me over the sink. Raging he ordered, “Get your hands over here and pull down your pants!” He just kept yelling and swinging the belt. “You lean up against that sink there and do as I said. Trecia Ann, you get those pants down now! Don’t you move little girl or I‘ll rip the shit out of you.” I remember his instructions for my beating every time I stand at a sink to brush my broken teeth still today. It climbs into the back of my head and shoots sorrow into my heart. When I look at the vanity I can’t help but remember the little girl who was so frightened that night; the girl who could not get away from him; the girl getting beaten for putting on a pair of flannel pajamas. That little girl buttoned them all the way to the top; tight around the neck, praying they would protect her. Sadly she was raped from behind at that old sink while getting beaten in furious rage for believing she could stand against him.

The horror I felt as he beat me was nothing new. His violence was constant; the constant reminder that he was in control. There was no escape for me so I had to adjust and allow his torture. There could be no signals to the outside world that this was happening. No one could ever know the truth that was my life. I remember so vividly the emotions of terror and humiliation that shot through me. The days of walking through the school with my head down, ashamed of myself for all the disgusting ways he inflicted his dreadful game of torture with me. Later, I learned in therapy and study, all too often the brutalized child swallows their emotions in order to ease the pain of survival and bury the shame of their life. 

After he pulled out of me, his words burned against my neck. In his whispering anger I thought the devil himself was speaking to me. “How dare you?” he said, “You think I called you down here to see you in those ugly fucking things. You just keep trying me every chance you get, don’t you? You think that you can stop me?” He stepped back and grabbed the collar of the shirt, then swung his belt and it wrapped around my thigh again. It stung and felt as though it was cutting right through my skin. I don’t know how long he had me there. He was enjoying the punishment that he was dishing out. “You filthy, ugly, little whore,” he yelled as he pushed my face into the mirror. “You think you can get away from me. You will never be able to get away.” He grabbed the collar as he growled, “Just do as you are fucking told and shut up.”

He pushed me out of the room, down onto a pile of dirty laundry. I felt like I was a piece of garbage lying there. “Please just let me disappear,”my thoughts begged. “Let me dissolve into the filthy pile of laundry, simply disappear forever.” His final statement as he walked away was, “Get your ugly ass up to bed. You keep trying to push me and I will get you. When you least expect it, I will be there.” He walked into the living room huffing from being out of breath and sat down in his recliner. “Get upstairs you little bitch and you better make sure everyone shuts their fucking mouth.” 

Slowly I pulled myself up; my body stinging from the belt. Then, half stumbling, I made my way upstairs. Quietly I eased into bed, my heart still pounding in terror and the welts still growing on my backside. Rachel was asleep; at least her eyes were closed when I looked over at her. If she heard him beating me downstairs she was too scared to say anything about it. My hands pulled the covers in tightly around my body, hoping that they would keep him away, although I didn’t really expect a visit from him that night. At least I hoped it was over and once again I had survived. There were times after the beating, raging fit, when he still needed more. He would torture, send me away, and then call me back for more or sneak in my room for another type of attack. Now my legs, butt and back were stinging from the belt. The dread of what might be next took over my thoughts as I quietly cried myself to sleep. Richie was in his room probably still in the same huddled up position that I had left him in, but he didn’t say a word and he didn’t come in to check on me. My body was exhausted from the beating and the stress of it all so I didn’t hear or feel anyone come sneaking around as I slept. He must have felt satisfied by his imposed torture and chose not to visit me. Trembling now as the feeling of terror comes rushing back, much the same as I trembled then. It really didn’t matter if he killed me because I already felt so completely dead on the inside and so isolated from everyone on the outside.

The next morning Mom was yelling for me to get Rachel ready and come down for school. As I opened my eyes I reached down to rub a spot on my thigh where the belt had landed. I had hoped it was all a dream, but the welts were there to prove me wrong. They swelled up more through the night and my entire thigh
was burning with pain. My legs and every other part of me were still very sore and when I inspected them I could see the purple mounds of blood lying just underneath the flesh, perfectly in line with where the belt had landed. There were marks on my back, down my buttocks and both thighs and a few marks that wrapped around my calves. My body was in so much pain from the beating and slamming around the night before. It really hurt to move at all. My head was sore from where he held onto my hair, which it seemed he always did. I tried splashing cold water on my eyes to help with the swelling, but it just made them sting. The bags around them were dark and so swollen I could hardly see through them at all


As I finished getting ready and started down the stairs, my mind was praying that Walter had already left for work so I wouldn’t have to see his stare. Mom, as always, said absolutely nothing when I slowly arrived downstairs. She didn’t show any signs that she even noticed me. The normal night of my terror and torture had become the routine and it meant nothing to anyone; it was as if I didn’t even exist. Mom didn’t care what happened to make me look like I did or walk the way was. She was so absolutely blind to the pain and hurt that I had been in for the past seven years. Her only concern that morning was for my sister to get to school. “You girls better hurry up or your sister is going to be late,” she said to me. So without saying a word Rachel and I grabbed our books for school and my dreadful day started.’’

From the written true horror of ‘My Justice’, published March 2011.

This is how a child feels when they are brutalized and sexually dominated, used in servitude, traded out and forced in silence to allow others to do whatever they want, completely without concern for any emotions they feel at all.

‘Hell Yes’ I do know very well just how ugly the idea that a parent could dismiss this type of brutality and disgusting actions against their own child. Even worse that someone you are told is your ‘Dad’, could be so intently evil against you. The thought that your happy childhood could change into something so brutal, is never something a child can control. They become objects in their identity; a slave to the needs of others, but without concern or acknowledgement for any tear they shed. Those you live with, those who should love and protect you in gentle guidance through life, instead they enjoy the terror in your eyes, the fear they smell like animals, the dominance over your very breath.

My monster, my terrorist, thrilled when others raped me, filled me with alcohol, weed, cocaine to manipulate; then sent me dancing from lap to lap. I still recall those moments, although its not something I want to remember at all. The days and nights when he wanted to hear all the gory details, then he looked me in the eye and said; ‘God will never forgive you now. You are no longer a young child and God will not ignore what you’ve done. God will never take you into Heaven, not ever.’

As ridiculous as it may sound, and as impossible as it may be, I am still afraid of my afterlife in many ways. I’m spiritual in every sense of the word, but I cannot step into a church without fearing the overbearing judgment of my life. I am afraid that if I haven’t learned my life’s lesson and have to suffer through again, there is no way I could possibly survive his torture ever again. I’m terrified in some way that the monster I still feel creeping around me at times, will be there; waiting for me so that he can attack once again. How bad is the fear when you fear that dominating monster in every single breath you take, in every moment you live, but even worse in the moment you die. Who will protect you from him then?

These monstrous types of offenders will do whatever it takes to demean you and destroy every part of your being. This particular monster stalked and preyed on me even when I was forty years old and temporarily staying at my mother’s new house in Eldorado, Illinois; I wanted to believe he couldn’t be well enough to climb down those stairs to the shower room, just has Mom had said when she refused to let me use her bathroom to shower. However, sure enough as I went to rinse the soap out of my hair, I heard something. When I stepped out to pull back the doorway curtain, there he stood. He was sneaking in like the monster he was; prowling to feed off the fear he had instilled so well.

This is why we most definitely need to continue every ounce of energy to create awareness, bring light to their dark tortured pain and isolation. They are too ashamed, too terrified, certain you will reject them and send them back to endure this constant hell. It is our duty, the duty of our laws and policies, to absolutely ensure that every measure is in place to help victims who need us, every moment they need us. Make sure that law enforcement, teachers, healthcare workers, even our neighbors and school mates understand how serious this is and how destructive to live day after day, month after month, year after year, attack after attack without ever a single person who cares enough to ask; ‘Are you SAFE?’

How is it possible that we have tens of millions of survivors of these types of terroristic family crimes, but yet we can’t seem to get more than 500 signatures? Are we not tired of the ‘Good Ol’ Boy Laws’? Are we not tired of the dismissal and blame we place on young victims? Are we ready to end the teaching of tolerance, silence, and protecting these Family Terrorist, who attack day after day, enjoying the demeaning destruction of bright beautiful children? It’s time and I, along with many other excellent warrior advocates, will stand with you 100% to update our policies in helping victims rebuild, but more importantly to begin teaching the fundamental, inalienable right to be safe for every being around the world. If we work so hard, give so much, to defend the rights of these monstrous criminals; then it is certainly equal we should work so hard to protect our victims, especially children, so that each will feel their own special type of Flannel Pajamas, their warrior armor to protect from the burning touch and keep them safe forever.

HOW IN THE WORLD DO WE EVEN JUSTIFY TEACHING SILENCE OF THEIR GREATEST FEARS; THE FEAR WITHIN THEIR HOME, THE CONSTANT TERRORISTIC TORTURE THEY HOPE TO SURVIVE EVERY SINGLE DAY!!

PLEASE HELP, PLEASE SIGN, PLEASE SHARE!!!

https://www.change.org/p/mr-president-please-enforce-the-right-to-be-safe-for-all-persons-especially-our-children-enforce-family-terrorist-act-trecia-s-law

Thank you for reading here. Thank you for protecting the children who come into your life’s circle. If every one of those millions of survivors will make a commitment to protect just one child today, this will ensure a beginning to an end of these very ugly, brutally monstrous, terroristic types of family crimes.

Best Regards,

Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight

Author: ‘My Justice’

Speaker, Trainer, Advocate, Survivor

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery 

Will we just keep counting the bodies……..

Headline       biopic3_thumb.png

http://www.clipsyndicate.com/video/play/5717473

Interview courtesy of: WCIAtv, reporter Jessica Kunz

This is a fabulous interview and friends I am extremely grateful for the past few months of interviews I’ve been blessed to take part in; this one by Jessica and two others with Investigative Reporter, Eric Steltzer WANDtv.com (links for these two interviews listed below). My concern however; can someone possibly explain to me why we would rather just keep counting the bodies of the millions of children harmed everyday by family sex trafficking or family terroristic abuse and torment; keep counting the lives of millions destroyed by these acts every year rather than addressing the issue head-on?

Dammit I’m FURIOUS!!! I’ve handled just about all of the authoritative rejection I can possibly deal with on this issue. These past 5 years have been spent channeling as much energy as possible in providing education, awareness, activism, and advocating for the individual basic right to be safe, especially for our children. Many other outstanding advocates have either teamed up with me personally, or have done their own exhaustive advocating on the very serious pandemic numbers which continue to climb above 3.5 million every year, and those are just the numbers of child maltreatment reports. However, because of the mandates, which are not updated to address the hidden trauma behind the family terroristic nature of the abuse to force a child to remain silent and simply endure whatever it is their parent continues to dish out on them day after day, year after year, until they are old enough to get away or they end up self destructing. Sadly many thousands of these wounded souls commit suicide every year, because the trauma is just too severe to overcome and the heavy burden of shame and silence refuses to be addressed by those in our community and our politicians who have the power to create the changes needed to save their lives.

Yes, I’ve used my own personal story, but I don’t feel its my right to discuss someone else’s history. Also the nature of my very public and well known family sex trafficking, exploitation, terrorized slavery, and disfiguring neglect is really one of the most extreme cases I’m aware of, as is with a few other survivors, but none to the public knowledge that mine exceeded in our small rural community.  However, rest assured my goal is NOT for personal gain, but rather to create one of the strongest untied stands across the country in our human history to ensure that these crimes STOP NOW!!

I’ve been shut down by the Illinois Dept of Public Health, stating my story was too graphic and although April’s conference in Peoria was for the qualified trained professionals on Women’s Health and Family Wellness; I was told I needed to tune back my story and reduce the graphic nature of those 30+ years in hell. They had professionals declining to attend my presentation because it was just more than they could possibly handle. Do they realize that children are still suffering in these tragedies everyday? Do they realize that if they do not face it and discuss it, they will NEVER get a child to discuss it with them? Do they realize that by refusing to listen for one hour as I talk about the actions of Family Crimes and the extreme trauma involved when the acts have been committed with complete malice, in a form of terroristic nature, for the sole purpose of silencing the child and preventing them from ever feeling safe enough to talk about these ugly secrets, thus preventing any criminal charges against the parents who commit and allow these grievous acts? Do they realize the continue teaching of shame, rejection, and of course, SECRET KEEPING they enforce when they as trained healthcare professionals cannot handle listening to a one hour presentation which will help them spot and treat, assess and assist a victim of any age trapped in these vicious attacks?

Last October, I teamed up with a personal friend and the Legal Advocacy Director for Violence Prevention Center of Southwestern Illinois. I had been working on a proposal to address the very serious crimes within our family unit and the terroristic nature in which they were constantly kept secret and silent. Lisa Chilton and I took the proposal to Illinois House Representative Jay Hoffman, then to Illinois States Attorney Brendan Kelly, and in late February I was notified that ‘terroristic’ was not the proper or acceptable word to use, and out of ten guidelines in the proposal they were ready to introduce a measure to change the Statute of Limitations for a barrage of criminal sexual offenses against a child, including involuntary sexual servitude. The measure House Bill #3242 was going to change our S.O.L. from 1 year after victims 18th birthday, to 20 years, which would allow the victims time to first escape the parental control and then go through the very long and grieving process of accepting what had actually happened, then they could bring forth criminal charges by the time they were 38 years old. However, when I emailed Representative Hoffman last week about a date they would be introducing this bill, I received what seemed to me, a proper political email; “I regret to inform you we had other bills processed and decided not to address this issue at this time, but rest assured I am determined to stand behind your cause.” I really do not mean to offend Representative Hoffman, IL Dept of Public Health, or any other of our legislators or our state and national resources, but I certainly would like to ask, ‘When will the body count be serious enough for our systems to finally take a very public stand and address what changes need to be implemented to ensure we are doing our very best; not only protect the individual rights of our children, all victims to be safe, but also update our public policy on how we assess, assist, and investigate every report of maltreatment made across the country?’

There is another person whom I’ve partnered with, Dana Pfeiffer, Director of Grounds of Grace a nonprofit resource assisting victims of human trafficking, terroristic abuse, and other related family crimes around Central Illinois, including our State Capital of Springfield where the amazing President Lincoln began his strongest political campaign, which later led to the equal rights to FREEDOM for all persons. The Emancipation Proclamation granting freedom for all persons to be seen equal in the eyes of our laws, without regard to race, religion, gender, and age. These are our basic Human & Civil Rights, written into law by our United Nations General Assembly in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, and our own American Constitution; in fact it is the basic freedoms our country was founded on but yet we still can’t truly stand up for those rights, especially when it comes to our children and the desperate destruction happening within our families every single day.

Dana Pfeiffer and I have teamed up in speaking engagements as I present my history and what I advocate for today, she is right by my side validating the serious crimes she helps victims escape committed by their family, most commonly their parents. The numbers she assists continues to climb, victims as young as 2 years old to 68 years old. When I address people in authority, or in any setting, about the serious nature of my case, it is not for your pity. I don’t need your pity and absolutely DO NOT WANT YOUR PITY. I’ve survived and my life is very good today. I am safe, I am loved, and if my children and grandchildren weren’t still dealing with the emotional staining from those acts that distorted and destroyed the safe path in my life; my life today would actually be quite perfect.

However, what I do hope those who hear my story, or read ‘My Justice’, will take from all of the extreme vicious and very public nature of exploitation, sex trafficking, terrorized slavery, and the disfiguring neglect of all basic human needs; I WANT YOUR ACTION. We need to ensure not another single person is abandoned and judged as I was throughout the six consecutive years of family friends, school teachers, neighbors, adult men and boys who got their own special time with the child, the law enforcement who knew me well and didn’t care at all that my skin was rotting and filth covered because I could not even safely bathe in my home. Every person in Freeburg, Illinois knew my family, knew my mother;‘POOR WOMAN, having to deal with such a horrible man’.

Guess what towns people, she didn’t deal with him at all, cause he was like a comforting blanket who kissed the ground she walked on. He would have done anything for her, and he did leave my brother and sister alone, but me; I was his target. I was his to do with as he pleased, she not only sacrificed me for him to do with as he pleased, but she also abandoned all basic human needs, ordered me to care for, cook for, and provide for the family needs, she purchased him a little brass bell that only I was expected to answer to at all times. The citizens of Freeburg either witnessed, took part in, or saw the very public destruction of a young growing girl and tagged her as the ‘Village Whore’, rather than try to help her. When I reached out today asking those in public office, those in media who have the ability to share this story, those who fight for protective rights and those in every small community; still all I have felt is that same sense of disregard I lived with all my life. No one cared when it was my parents. No one reported the many years of almost murderous attacks and beatings in my relationships and marriages. Neighbors, police, and healthcare all dismissed the horrific nature of my daily life and figured I didn’t deserve their help then, and apparently the continuing climbing numbers of those speaking about these past decades in hell, they are all getting those same closed doors as I am today.

When I write, do interviews, or even the creation of our petition addressing Family Crimes and Terroristic Abuse (link below for you to sign now), what I want, what all of the hundreds of survivors hope to achieve in sharing our voices today; we want to inspire every healthcare worker, every educator, every community member to notice the warning signs of the desperate victims and rather than abandon them and judge them for the disgusting behavior or promiscuous nature of their acts, HELP THEM!! Maybe you’ll be the one to rescue them; to give them a chance to heal their wounds, learn the positive behaviors and become better parents for their children. It’s easy to look at a family or a person, pass our taught nature of judgment and then turn away and do nothing, but it takes great courage to say that every life matters and EVERY CHILD DESERVES TO BE SAFE!!!

I don’t understand why, throughout our entire human existence, the authorities who have the power to do something simply disregard the serious body count related to suicide, murder, and self destruction from these vicious and disgusting acts, especially when committed against a helpless child who cannot fight back, cannot run away; they can only endure in silent tears the shameful brutal crimes committed against them by their parents and family. I really do not understand why we do not step up and scream out; ‘THAT’S IT, THIS IS NOT THAT CHILD’S CRIME AND SHOULD NOT BE THAT CHILD’S BLAME’!!

How many more centuries will people have to endure these types of attacks within their homes, by their parents or their partners, then walk away filled with pain and terror, while the offenders are protected by the forced ugly secrets of torture and trafficking, or they walk away with a slap on the wrist rather than the harshest punishments deserving of their actions? It is their choice to attack and terrorize, especially when they are attacking and forcing a child into dark secrets and a life filled with destructive behaviors and continued shame in the feeling of not being worth saving. We have hundreds of documented studies which reveal how a life in traumatic events and vile attacks impacts the lives of individuals. We have studies confirming the frontal lobe brain development impaired and twisted by the repeated years trying to survive and making daily decisions based on what they need to do in order to just survive that day. We have the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, the Centers for Disease and Control, National Domestic Violence Hotline, Prevent Child Abuse America and many other outstanding organizations which hold rallies, they help victims recover and rebuild their lives; yet we cannot get a public policy legislator to truly address and make it their public platform to face the very serious pandemic numbers which continue to soar above three million reports every single year. I’m tired of counting the bodies, I’m disheartened by the lack of public concern and the constant avoidance of the direct issues. Constantly I pray that someday all that happened to me, and many other millions like me, will one day matter to those who have the power to mandate our laws and protect the very precious right to simply BE SAFE!! The rights to be free; free from harm and free from fear. One day we will protect the rights of every human being to be safe, no matter who is harming them. What worries me most, is how many lives will it cost us before we actually begin implementing the changes needed to ensure we are doing the very best for our children’s future tomorrow.

Let’s stop counting the bodies and do something about the crimes!!

Thanks for reading, perhaps you’ll also sign our petition here —- https://www.change.org/p/mr-president-please-enforce-the-right-to-be-safe-for-all-persons-especially-our-children-enforce-family-terrorist-act-trecia-s-law

I’d like to thank Investigative Reporter Eric Steltzer with WANDtv.com for the fabulous interviews and share those links with readers here…..Courtesy of WANDTV.com

1) http://www.wandtv.com/category/182814/video?autoStart=true&topVideoCatNo=default&clipId=11396570

2) http://www.wandtv.com/category/182814/video?autoStart=true&topVideoCatNo=default&clipId=11166176

In closing, Ms. Dana Pfeiffer & Ms. Lisa Chilton, thank you both my friends for your ongoing support and your courage to continue rescuing and assisting all the victims who come into your path. You are both angels and we need your efforts in helping to encourage our society that now is the time to create the greatest change for our human society and protect all persons before something horrific enters their life to destroy the special magic of their spirit within. I’d like to thank Ms Linda Walcher, Kristen Eng, Amie Loman, and Exec Director Darlene Jones of the Violence Prevention Center of SW IL, Mr. Donn Willeford of Hoyleton Ministries, Michal Madison, Mary Graziano, Kelly Townsend, Julia De’Alfanzo, Tammy Fox, Bill Murray, Petra Luna and many hundreds of other amazing advocates who continue to fight the good fight and support victims, survivors, and families touched by the horrible cycle of these crimes. Together we can all make a huge difference, and remember by making the choice today to protect just one person in your life’s circle, to be a positive influence in their lives; you hold the power to change their life’s path, eventually protecting their children and their grandchildren from all the suffering which impacts that victim today.

Blessings & thank you readers,

Patricia A McKnight

Author; ‘My Justice’

Fndr: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Steps to Recovery –Daily Rebuilding Skills

Family Crimes & Terroristic Abuse Training Program

Contact me today for your next eventtrish.mcknight@live.com

www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

Who are the forever silenced victims of Family Crimes?

 

NewCapitolBldng        Justice Has  A Name The forever silenced victims of crime are not those killed, but rather those still living in the broken destruction of their pain. It could be your Uncle, Brother, Sister, Mother, or your best friend. It could be your neighbor, and tragically if we keep ignoring these ‘terroristic abuses’ within our families, we will have many millions more who are forced into silence and will become the next generation living in the aftermath of horror and pain.

Readers, I am asking you to help us finally address this painful topic of these many silenced victims of crime. I’m hoping you will review the petition to our President and all Legislators around the world. See how tragically these Family Crimes and Terroristic Abuse have destroyed millions of lives and created such a huge financial impact in our National Deficit of the estimated $145 Billion Annually to prevent and help mend the lifetime impairments from those who endure abuse, violence, and trafficking.

Today we need to address the serious number of victims who are reported into our system every day.

***The 1 in 6 men who report Personal Violence against them by a partner or spouse.

***The 1 in 4 women who become victims of vicious attacks by dominating partners.

***The 3.7 Million reports of Child Maltreatment which show 1 in 9 reported sexual abuses and 1 in 3 who suffer violent attacks.

These are the silenced victims of Family Crimes and Terroristic Abuse who walk among us everyday. We cannot help or save all of them, but by finally updating our systems of investigation and prosecution, victims support and recovery needs, and education concerning the Individual Right to Be Safe & Live Save;

WE CANNOT CONTINUE TO TEACH SILENCE AND TOLERANCE; PROTECTING THE ABUSERS AND MONSTERS WHO ATTACK WITHIN OUR FAMILIES EVERYDAY? When will it be serious enough for the once silenced victims and the many who are suffering today to stand up and tell our governments to help us end this and hold these monsters accountable for their CHOICE to inflict terror, threat of grievous injury, even possible death if they do not comply with every enforced demand.

**ILLINOIS – CONTACT YOUR LEGISLATORS!!

**AMERICAN CITIZENS – CONTACT YOUR GOVERNORS!!

**HUMAN BEINGS – STAND UP FOR YOUR ULTIMATE RIGHT TO BE SAFE!!

Family Crimes NEED LAWS TO UPHOLD AND PROTECT THE RIGHTS OF THOSE WHO HAVE NO VOICE, WHO ARE CONTROLLED BY THREATS OF GREIVOUS HARM OR POSSIBLE DEATH TO REMAIN SILENT AND PROTECT THE MONSTERS WHO ATTACK. THESE TYPES OF OFFENSES DESERVE ONE FEDERALLY MANDATED STATUTE ACROSS THE COUNTRY TO PROTECT THE RIGHTS OF ALL PERSONS: without regard to age, gender, race, religion, economic standing, or residential location. Now we end the ongoing personal violations within our homes and hold these offenders responsible by enacting into law the following listed measures…..

Bullet Points – Family Crimes and Terroristic Abuse

Trecia’s Law

We the people of our United States of America hereby sign our name to request our government entities implement the changes in our prosecuting statutes, civil liabilities, and social services directives to enact this amendment as written below…

1) Make the acts of detrimental child abuse, child sexual abuse/aggravated sexual assault of a minor, human trafficking or other sexually related acts against a person under the age 18 a FEDERAL OFFENSE.

2) Enforce mandated training for a Zero Tolerance when law enforcement, healthcare professionals, or our public educators suspect a family abuser or other party within the home who is using attacks of grievous harm or threats to prevent the victim of the abuse from accessing help or assistance.

3) Any permanently disfiguring or physical injury to the victim of abuse, should warrant harsher punishments, from 10 years to life in prison.

4) Adjust Statute of Limitations, criminal and civil, when there is any form of sexual interaction with a minor under 18 years old; no less than 20 years from the victim(s) 18th birthday and apply to all states across the country to meet a uniform prosecution process.

5) Forfeiture of any and all properties and assets of the offender at the time of prosecution. Forfeiture of these assets and properties should be awarded as victim’s restitution and/or reimbursement for the nation’s ongoing financial deficit in the provision of victims and/or family recovery services.

6) Any person who knowingly neglects or refuses to make a report concerning the well being of another party, especially a minor child, will be held accountable in a court of law with a sentencing minimum of $500.00 fine and/or up to 10 years in prison if that knowledgeable neglect to report these harms results in the death of a victim.

Public Policy Updates & Changes:

1) Implement Social Services directives to (Three Stage Review) for every report of child maltreatment reported by persons other then law enforcement, medical care, and/or educational professional.

2) Provide an immediate focus in knowledge based recovery support to meet needs of the victim, beginning and ongoing for a period up to 10 years from the prosecution ending date. Education and Recovery to assist in life skills education, home and parenting awareness, health care and family building blocks. y.

3) Societal Accountability, implement education and prevention strategies within every public school system to empower our youth to understand what their rights to life, liberty and security are and give them the tools to help end bullying, abuse, and/or violence among their peers.

4) Engage a Community Response Team to provide education and prevention in every small community, this should focus directly on Warning Signs & Prevention of abuse and/or violence, sex trafficking or terroristic types of harm, to better assess, report, assist and/or rescue victims and/or families in need. ******************************************************************************

**Note: these changes in our prosecutorial and civil remedies are to protect and educate about the types of terroristic personal attacks, specifically against a minor child, but regardless of what familial, foster, or governing state custody the victim(s) may reside as a physical address.**

There is a constant increase in these crimes; resulting in more than 1500 documented child deaths across the country every year related to severe neglect or physical harm. It is time to truly address the criminal and personal seriousness of these heinous crimes; creating a stronger frontline prevention by implementing measures at the States & Federal levels of our United States. 

Our laws & policies must meet the needs of those harmed, but our society also must begin teaching our youth about their ULTIMATE RIGHT TO BE SAFE. The best place to begin providing these changes, is to protect all persons and ensure that we will prosecute at the harshest level possible for these viciously detrimental acts of what is nothing less than ‘terroristic abuse’ committed with malice and directed against persons within our home, especially our children; used to prevent ever reporting these attacks and protecting the abuser from prosecution.

SIGN HERE – Family Crimes and Terroristic Abuse Acthttps://www.change.org/p/mr-president-please-enforce-the-right-to-be-safe-for-all-persons-especially-our-children-enforce-family-terrorist-act-trecia-s-law

Today I’m counting on the millions of adults who suffered for years waiting for someone to hear them, to see the harm and threat they lived within and are still forced into silence about today. The silenced victims have an opportunity to be heard. We have numbers together, creating strength together, and now is the time to climb out from under the shame. Let’s reclaim our lives, no longer terrified, but to ensure we stand strong to educate young victims today so they know they have a common given right to be safe; freedom from fear or threat of harm, freedom from sexual attacks or being sold for a few pennies by the monsters who have ultimate control over their lives.

There are many who will never be heard because the threatened, taught, and forced silence continues to trap them in a cycle of ongoing pain, self destruction, alcohol, drugs, and thousands who commit suicide as a result.

These victims of crime didn’t do anything wrong to bring on the attacks they suffered. They didn’t harm someone else, or cause any distress to those around them. They have fought endlessly, day in and day out, year after year, waiting for someone (anyone) to help them. They know if they come forward to acknowledge the crimes, brutal attacks and threats, which they suffered through for years; their professional careers and all they’ve built in trying to erase and change their past harm are at risk. However, if we remain silent and do nothing, we simply continue to teach tolerance and silence about what is the greatest harm of our human society, the true horror of Family Crimes and Terroristic Abuse.

Although today they are survivors trying just to live in whatever happiness they can create, there is a hole inside which carries the part of them who lived as a terrorized silenced child, struggling to keep control and still praying for someone to see just how badly they were wounded from their many daily battles.

How much longer should these forgotten and discarded victims of crime hide their pain in the shadows because our society is not ready to accept how truly ugly it becomes within the trapped environment of our homes? How much longer will they have to ignore their own tears, silence their screams, pretend nothing happened because it just doesn’t matter anyway?

What I’d like to ask of our society more than anything else, is to finally begin teaching our young children they have an Ultimate Right to Be Safe. They have a right to be free from any fear of attack, and also a right to Freedom of Speech. No matter who might have harmed them; the laws and services must be there for when they find the courage to seek help or rescue. Let’s not allow another person to grow up filled with anger, self hatred, pain, and dysfunction. We have to accept how challenging it is for children to suffer in the threatened silence and cruelty, then honor their courage and bravery to face the world each day. 

Illinois Legislators will address House Bill #3242 as introduced by Illinois General Assembly Member, Representative Jay Hoffman. Today ILLINOIS we need to contact your legislators by email, phone, or letters demanding they accept into law changing Statute of Limitations from what is now, 1 year from victims 18th birthday to 20 years from victims 18th birthday, to allow victims time to escape and find safety to bring forth criminal and civil charges for the harm and deviate behaviors they were forced to endure.

Your time in reading and sharing this is much appreciated. We need media attention, we need all legislators to take part and speak for those who are the traumatized and terrorized silenced children of yesterday.

Thank you,

Patricia McKnight – Petition Creator, Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Dana Pfeiffer – Grounds of Grace, Exec. Director

Lisa Chilton – Violence Prevention Center SW IL, Legal Advocacy Director

Illinois House Representative, Jay Hoffman

Illinois State’s Attorney, Brendan Kelly

Public Health Department canceled presentation because victim story too intense

biopic3This is no joke my friends. In January I was asked to present for the Illinois Department of Public Health; April 8th for the Women’s Health & Family Wellness. Unbelievably the lead coordinator for this conference contacted me last week and stated they would have to cancel. When I asked upfront if it was something specific about my story or my presentation, she quickly responded;

‘Your story is really a bit too much in your face. Perhaps if you tone it down a bit and focus more on what we can do to help, then maybe we can invite you back. We’ll keep you on the list of presenters and see what happens.

Let me say first, any time that anyone has asked me to speak – all they have wanted is my horrific victim story. I have learned how to ease my story through but it’s not an easy feat, especially when you consider the true horrific nature of the story itself and how many persons circled through my childhood and adult relationships without ever saying a word.

Quickly I emailed this lead coordinator the presentation I have used to help more than 100 survivors, used on more than 200 radio shows, and have built a website for educational & empowerment for every person. It is NOT a VICTIM’S STORY. In fact, it is ‘Steps to Recovery’.

In this presentation I share first our protective law history, the stats of some 2.3 million discarded reports because the sole intake worker decided they didn’t warrant further investigation. The presentation also covers the very serious truth about molestation, a crime which leaves no physical trace. When someone has molested a child, there is rarely any trace because it’s not like rape. It is touching and groping, therefore without seeing a child’s physical response to another person, or listening to how they play and interact with other children or their toys; you may never know your child is being molested. If the person/s molesting the child are the parents/guardians, then this child may have been going through this since before they can remember. It could be that sexual contact and stimulation is all they know. If they have just started being molested, you will see the outward signs of trauma and challenges in the child’s appearance, interactions, and their school work.

Anyway, also in the presentation I go through the Five Steps of Recovery which came from what I had to do in order to help myself change from victim to victorious. These are goal lists, positivity lists, understanding the impacts of my specific trauma, and it is the work which VICTIMS have to do, NO ONE ELSE CAN DO THIS FOR THEM. It is about empowering every victim with the one thing taken from them which leaves them in a victim state of life, it is about teaching them to use their voice and not to be ashamed of what someone else has done to them. It is not a crime they did but rather a crime committed AGAINST THEM.

Think about this for a moment, if we tell victims they need to ease up on the facts of what someone else has done to them, isn’t this the same as the abuser telling them that no one cares, no one wants to hear, no one will help them? In my eyes, having gone through my own very challenging and life pattern changing recovery; silencing a victim is like putting them in a cage with a bowl of water and a blanket for comfort. It’s like gagging them and only letting them talk when you want to hear them. It’s like taking away their power and their strength to find their balance again. It’s very hard for a victim to find trust and safety to speak at all. They must reach deep down inside to find that one point of them that they feel matters and then believe that someone else will think that it matters as well.

Now, having the Public Health Department tell me that they had professionals who had seen video of me, had seen photos and read a few emails; then decided my story was just too ugly to sit through. If we cannot educate the professionals about the honest truth of how vicious these crimes within our homes, hidden under the parental control and inflicted terror against a child; if we cannot be honest then how will we ever teach our children that they have nothing to be ashamed of? How will we teach them to tell someone when they are being touched, probed, sold, traded, beaten and degraded by the people they live with, the persons who control their very existence? I ask you friends, although we should definitely use age appropriate measures when talking with our kids about these topics, how can we teach them if the professionals do not want to hear the details of their suffering?

I very much believe that the voice of a victim is the one solid tool which will lead them to feel victorious in their life. One step at a time they learn that as they release the details of their suffering that are no longer afraid of the sledge hammer of hell coming down to destroy them. It is the locked up silence which traps them in living a victim pattern of life. This much I’ve learned in the years of not having insurance or money for a therapist so I lay in bed crying for days, screaming about the how & why of what happened to me, why wasn’t I worthy of protecting as they protected my siblings? Why did I have to be a slave, forced to answer the ring of that little brass bell, whatever the ‘master’ needed? Why was I the only one forced to spend days scrubbing the corners of our house, then two years after I move out, the house is so over run with roaches, not even the exterminator can keep up with the battle? Why didn’t it matter that I was covered with filth and infection, my teeth black, plaque covered and broken, my body covered in bruises day after day? Why didn’t someone in that town help me, why didn’t I matter as a human being?

Because no one ever stepped up to say; ‘Hey Trecia Ann, you don’t deserve to be treated like this. You deserve to be safe, take a bath in your home, a toothbrush, some tenderness.’ Sadly as a result of all those people who either witnessed or took part in the sadistic games with me as the prize, but yet not one ever found me worthy to acknowledge as a human being; it is these types of actions which led me to believe this was my life. This is was what I deserved, and I should never think that I deserve anything better. It is all of this that left me living in a victim state of mind. I was everyone’s perfect victim and completely submissive for any person who showed me a hint of kindness. I just wanted to be loved, to be safe, and I would give anything of myself to not have someone hurt me, even to the point of regulating my breathing so as not to give cause for another attack.

I know many exactly like me and I hope you have taught the children you know the true power of their voice and our professionals need to know how monsters like this make it their mission to silence their victims. As ridiculous as it may sound, my stepfather still has me terrified of my afterlife; afraid that I might have to endure him all over again. This is a real fear for me. This is how evil and how horrific his actions were and not a single person in the middle of that town would ever want to hear my voice, my plea for mercy, my begging my mother’s help, my prayers for God to take me away.

Readers, I hope as you’ve read this it made some sense and that you will watch the children in your circle of life and family. I assure you, I am not the only survivor of such atrocities. I assure you, evil like this is happening in the smallest of communities across the country. As many advocates I work and share with have found, more cases of parental child sex trafficking & web-based exploitation of their children is happening in small communities across the country. The internet has a lot of great uses, but the deviate mind who wants to make money; they find that charging people to watch them molest, traffick and exploit their children is sadly more than our services can possibly take down. All of us within a community need to be aware of the children in our neighborhood. Do they seem like good kids? Are their people coming and going at all hours? Is there a lot of adult men and strangers coming to the house? Our educators can help by watching how the child’s school work is completed, are they up to date, interact in class, have reasonable social skills with others, are they reasonably clean and well cared for?

Our health care professionals & law enforcement are the frontline for their safety. You need to know how dark it can become and exactly what adults will go through to silence a child for what can turn into decades of their life, remember the fear and silence has to outlast any statute of limitations so that the predator is never held accountable or prosecuted for their harm done. We should never tell ANY victim to be quiet, ‘tone it back’, ‘get over it’. They may want to have us ease our stories, but for this victim who has worked so hard to become victorious and put every ounce of devotion possible into helping make sure we are able to help others trapped today, the frontline defenders will not tell this victim; ‘it just doesn’t matter’.

To me this reprehensible, and it feels a lot like the weapon and slap used to silence me a long time ago.

Empower every person to know their Civil Rights to life, liberty, and security of their person. They deserve a SAFE life, and no one has the right to inflict harm or sexual contact, unless they are consenting and accepting adults. No one has a right to inflict harm like this on a child who cannot speak up, cannot refuse, cannot fight back, cannot run away, and cannot escape the day to day torment & torture by the one who has control over their very existence. You can help us educate our frontline defenders by supporting our petition – ‘Family Terrorist Act – https://www.change.org/p/mr-president-please-enforce-the-right-to-be-safe-for-all-persons-especially-our-children-enforce-family-terrorist-act-trecia-s-law

Thanks for reading, have a wonderful day

Empower every person to believe they absolutely matter!!!

Patricia McKnight

copyright @ www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

Author; ‘My Justice’