In ‘the life’ – survive vs. suicide

As Human Trafficking Awareness Month comes to a close, I’d say there was a much larger presence of those focused on this issue and those others which can be the beginning steps to trafficking. I’d like to remind everyone that for those who have or are trying to survive the influence human trafficking has left on their sense of personal value and the survival behaviors learned while you are trapped.

Human beings, like other animals, adapt to their surroundings. Our inner most sense is that of survival itself. So let me ask this; ‘When you are so engulfed by constant explosive and almost deadly violence wouldn’t you become quite submissive to survive? How long do you think you could hang on? How bad would it be when you started praying for them to kill you and end your misery? You survive the best you possibly can, but if there is no sign of help or hope, you pray they kill you so you are free!!

This is the life you learn to endure and the behaviors of the human being will naturally adapt to keep you alive. Let me assure you; those who do survive rarely just walk the door of trafficking and live life like what is needed to adapt in ‘normal’ everyday neighborhoods. Without residential recovery services like those provided by Eden’s Glory & Grounds of Grace, among others; going from ‘The Life’ to a self sustaining life is usually filled with a path of addiction, mental illness, extreme emotional distress, lack on interpersonal skills, and a continued submissive behavior (despite how hard we try to cover that up). There is rarely any money available from the trafficker to pay for services needed to help their victims, so this burden lies on the shoulders of those who want to help. These are usually provided by nonprofit services who need funding from you and I; they are struggling for funding to help create more functional and self supporting individuals. The end result of their services will change the lives of these persons and the lives of their children and grandchildren.

When you are trapped in this way of life, you learn to live in a ‘Survive vs Suicide’ mode of thinking. The pain becomes so bad physically and emotionally that you pray they kill you just to put you out of your misery. You hope for a way out and if you run into the arms of another person, you are extremely lucky if that is a kind person who truly wants to keep you safe and learn how to live on your own. More common than not you end of up going straight to the arms of another abuser, usually a domestic relationship that starts off being really kind and your survival habits make you more tolerable of acts of control or degrading remarks. These are dismissed and before you know it, one day they take a swing. The first strike is always the most difficult one, so the second will be much easier and more aggressive. This will take over your relationship and become your existence at least two or three times a week. Your holidays will be taken over by the threat or possibility of violence. You will rarely defend yourself and even less likely to leave because of those few good moments you share. You tell yourself, ‘He does love me. He is good to me most of the time. He just gets angry. If I don’t do this, or I stop doing that, he will stop hitting me. Just so long as he doesn’t leave me alone, doesn’t kick me out, doesn’t cheat on me, doesn’t hurt my kids. This is the way of life for those who have been so violently and violated in the life of trafficking.

How is a person who has grown up in this type of threatening environment and distorted behaviors supposed to choose the right relationships or live a stable everyday life? How are they supposed to learn to associate in common social and professional environments? If we do not ensure funding for shelters and rebuilding services for young and old, victims of family violence, sexual harm, and trafficking, then we cannot just expect them to be self sufficient and become a member of the family, become a parent or a teacher, become a police officer or a social services caseworker without some turmoil and dysfunctional behavior.

Now believe me it is possible for those who have gone through this tragic way of life, especially as children or teens, and then become a parent without any support or family around to help them. We learn to isolate ourselves out of the heavy shame and disgust we carry for our past. We can’t just open our mouths and say; ‘I was forced to have sex with a lot of men from a very young age’. Do you have any idea the level of courage it takes to say these words? If it had happened to you, could you just sit down to dinner and say this to a mother in-law, or an uncle? Could you go see your priest one time and tell him these words? Could you go to a stranger, a doctor, or an employer trying to explain why you’re ill all the time or having so much trouble?

This is why it’s important for survivors of these types of traumatic events seek help. It’s why it’s important to find your voice and help others find their own light. It’s why we need the services of Violence Prevention Center, Hoyleton Youth & Family, DHS, SAVE, Call for Help, PAVE, The Women’s Center, RAINN, ChildHelp, NAASCA, and other leading local and national organizations. All of them continue to put their hearts into the mission of saving lives and rebuilding lives, healing generations every single day. I’m very proud today to say that now we also have Butterfly Dreams Alliance, an incredible team who have joined me in creating a prevention and rebuilding nonprofit service for families & professional education in Southern Illinois.

Today my life has come full circle. I am no longer trapped and praying for death. I am no longer contemplating survive vs suicide. I am 55 years old, I am in the best relationship of my life. I have three beautiful grown amazing children. I have three amazing grandchildren. I have made hundreds of inspiring and supportive friends across the country. We have fought to update and change policies & statutes together. We are creating more known knowledge about the human mind and the human heart in every survivor we encourage along the way.

Today my life is truly free and I am so thankful that I did not miss the dance it has given me. Please help those services in your area and across the country!!!

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What message are we sending if we do not change things now?

 

Lately there has been a lot of news & education shared about the issues surrounding abuse, domestic violence, and sexual assault. Also true is the increasing knowledge and definition of a ‘terrorist’. We used to believe that a terrorist would never attack our country, that we had nothing to fear in the great country of the United States of America. We also used to hide the truth about acts of depravity, especially those concerning sexual actions with a child/minor. Today we hear of more and more adults who are talking about Actors & Hollywood Agents, Teachers, Coaches, Priests, Nuns, and even neighbors who have molested or raped us as children. What I personally hear more about, because I’ve shared my story so publicly and have put forth efforts in advocating & assisting others; is the increasing numbers of brave souls who are finally working their way through accepting the vile harm done to them by their very own parents, or a step parent. Sadly there is an estimated 40 Million adult survivors today. Hopefully they will give their signature to help make sure this doesn’t happen to another child and that if it does, there will be a chance for that child to seek justice when they are finally brave enough to face the demons and breakdown the barriers of all their endured trauma. Many of us today, Generation X (Generation No More) have suffered greatly and so have our children in our wounded aftermath. Please let’s not let anther generation of our American society live without ever being able to speak about their horrors, or to be denied justice, or to be shamed or condemned because of what someone else has done to them. No, not one more victim should have to endure the evil hauntings of their own dominating family terrorist.

What crimes describe a ‘Family Terrorist’ and what traps their victims for what can be decades into adulthood before they are ever brave enough to face their past & speak their truth, seek their justice?

The criminal actions of this type of family dominator are acts such as; child sex trafficking, sharing their child or exploiting their children amongst a particular set of friends or other family. They also commit violent molestation acts, forced oral sex and now internet display in a sexual manner of their child. They use weapons either to threaten harm or to actually inflict harm. They inflict a constant state of extreme fear of grievous bodily harm or possible death should their victim, no matter how old, ever make public or seek assistance for acts of harm against them. A ‘FAMILY TERRORIST’ has constant 24/7 access to victims & will most definitely feed off of the level of fear & trauma they can inflict without ever being caught or held responsible for detrimental harm. No one should ever have to remain silent or be held in captivity through acts of terror; held as a prisoner of silence because their pain is so vile that it could never be discussed within decent society. How moral are we if we continue denying the acts of this type of abuser, or turning away from someone we see other silent warning signs but instead of reporting a suspicious problem, we continue teaching our children to endure without tears or without ever believing that hope & help can be real if they will just speak up. It seems we teach them about what Stranger Danger is, but refuse to admit or even discuss that there might be something much worse living inside their very own home. Parental Rights is not above HUMAN RIGHTS. Protecting your child is your job, if you cannot uphold your responsibility then you either need assistance to help the family, or the child should be removed because even a child deserves the protection of their human rights.

Parental Offenders made up 92% of offenders reported in 2011, as calculated by every report entered across the nation. A total of 3.7Million Reports of Child Maltreatment, and its still climbing today

Stranger Danger was 3% of those same reports – this has to say something about who is truly harming our children!!!

Please listen in to PowerPoint Presentation

SIGN TODAY PLEASE……… https://www.change.org/p/mr-president-help-your-american-society-protect-our-universal-declaration-of-human-rights-please-enforce-family-terrorist-act-trecia-s-law

The statement below will be emailed with your signatures. Thank you for helping. Please share with your friends and especially across your networks.

Emailed with your signature:

‘Family Terrorist Act’ – ‘Trecia’s Law’ – A Terroristic Attack against our person can be committed by any other person at any time, even inside our homes. What gives a ‘terrorist’ more control than directly residing with their victims? In this presentation you will find the United Nations, Federal, and Illinois State Definitions of a ‘Terroristic Act’. You will also hear the many justifications for this act and some guidelines on how to implement this act. It is important to remember that the psyche of a human being who endures these types of brutal attacks or heinous depravity, especially when they are inflicted by someone who has complete control over our very existence, is twisted; what should be safe is not, what should be intimate & special, becomes ugly and worthless; what should be love, is harm; what should be a parent, becomes the greatest fear in the world. The types of actions themselves are against every level of criminal law and most certainly violate every level of our Universal Declaration of Human Rights. These are nothing less than criminal attacks and sadly most often committed against the weaker person; those who cannot refuse, cannot fight back, and either they cannot speak out to find assistance or they are threatened with severe bodily harm, even possible death if they even think about telling someone else about these vicious attacks & ugly depravity they have to keep suffering day in and day out, year after year, hoping their terrorist will die or someone will take a chance to find them rescue. How horribly sad to know that the numbers of these types of actions usually include some type of sexual harm of a child.

These types of enforced domination against our person, through vicious acts of inflicted ‘TERROR’,  threats with weapons, threats to take our lives or directly harm someone we love are committed with the sole purpose in preventing victims from seeking assistance, and therefore protects the attacker/abuser identity and prevents any form of official charges, prosecution, and/or victims restitution assistance with fear induced trauma recovery, life skills rebuilding, and many times even relocation.

The constant terroristic environment distorts our perceptions and is then taken into our schools and our streets through acts of bullying, and gun related violence, substance abuse and other disabling related issues. The dominance over another person by acts of continuous control by directly inflicted bodily harm, imposed threats of grievous bodily harm or even possible death if victims do not comply with every demand is not permitted in our already written criminal statutes, so give me your attention as I guide you through the implementation of ‘Family Terrorist Act’ – ‘Trecia’s Law’; named after the little girl I used to be whom so many have tried to destroy through heinous cruelty and attempted murder. We must do something now to protect the Human Rights of every person in our society. We have the right to pursue life without the detrimental constant fear being our core deciding and controlling factor.

Submitted to the government of the United States of America by the concerned & educated citizens of ‘Generation No More’.

Thank you for your time and please help us move forward in implementing the amendment as above, thank you for supporting ‘Trecia’s Law’.

 

Petition created by: Patricia McKnight – Author: ‘My Justice’

contact – trish.mcknight@live.com

Supported in Partnership by: Grounds of Grace, Overcoming Human Trafficking 501c3

Exec. Director: Ms. Dana Pfeiffer