A Child the Town Forgot

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Hello;

May I please ask for just a few moments of your time to read this message & view the short two minute attached video? Any consideration is hugely appreciated. http://youtu.be/0Rpt_oHU5NM

My name is Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight and I am reaching out to find an organization or person who will help me continue the healing journey forward.

Why I am contacting you….

There are many thousands of survivors of past abuses & violence speaking up today about the horrors of their past. In our society it seems we have become almost numb, trained into tolerating a certain level of these attacks within our homes. Today, I am trying to break this silent barrier!! Myself and many other advocates work online and in our communities constantly helping those who’ve been harmed to find their way out of the cloud of madness and finally find their own path in life, letting go of the pain to soar into their future. So now, I am contacting any and all who have the power to create change in our society. You have this power and you can encourage many others to stand with the survivors, rather than blame the victims. We were children left by the tolerated generational acceptance to these acts, but we no longer have to teach our children this tolerance. We can change how these crimes are looked at & prosecuted today. We can change their future by empowering them with voice. Erin’s Law has paved the doorway for us to teach our children about sexual abuse, but are we teaching them? Are we teaching them to speak up no matter who is harming them; even if it’s their parents. As most of us well know, these acts are most often done within the walls of our own homes. The families don’t want the embarrassment of the public’s knowledge so they put on the best front possible to the outside world, but when the door to our home is closed, then only the victims know how dark the evil can become.

You see, my family didn’t put up any kind of false front at all in our rural community, there was no perfect family life on the outside of our home. It was simply that my stepfather and his vicious temper were so well known that my mother got away with placing herself as a victim, but I know that she was never harmed by this man. Instead she gave him her oldest daughter, the child she had with her second husband and the one she used as a house slave, a family caregiver, the family whore.

A bit of my history; I grew up in Freeburg, Illinois, which used to be a small town American coal mining community. My time spent there was most of my youth from about 1969-1983. I know during these times things were much different than they are today, but not that much has changed in our rural areas, nor our cities when it comes to abuse & violence within our homes.

Sadly, I was the child a town forgot, a town dismissed, a town ignored and today I carry the emotional wounds & the physical scars because of the fear of my stepfather’s evil. At the age of five he first viciously molested me while my mother was at her bridal shower preparing to marry him just a few weeks later. This attack was done while he was babysitting my brother and two other neighbor boys. He enjoyed that he could be evil with an audience to watch and it just got worse from that moment forward.

At the age of nine my mother walked in early from work and found him in bed with me; completely naked with his erection ready to be inserted. At eleven he began offering me out to other local men at the town’s bars for the price of a couple of beers. I was just twelve years old when he brutally raped me with the barrel of his favorite shotgun, my younger sister & older brother were downstairs watching their favorite television show. By the time I was thirteen the people of Freeburg didn’t see a child being sold out, brutally attacked, ignored & neglected from all forms of medical care & human kindness; they saw the girl who was used to excite their husbands, too well informed about sex for her age. In short, the reputation I had at this very young age was simply put as, ‘The village whore’ and this reputation would stay with me throughout my teens.

My mother would not protect me from him, although she knew exactly what was happening. She wouldn’t stop him from trapping her child in the bathroom every time I tried to bathe. He used his ugly games to teach me how to wash the right parts of my body; this started right after they were married. Mother also refused ANY & ALL forms of medical care or basic human needs, even human kindness for her own daughter was something she just couldn’t allow herself to do. She used her daughter as her housekeeper, babysitter, family caregiver, cook and willingly sacrificed her daughter so that she would not have to tolerate the sadistic needs of the man she chose as a husband.

By the time I reached thirteen, I had already taken my own small step at protecting myself when I chose to stop bathing, sounds disgusting I know. From the age of twelve when he wouldn’t leave the bathroom and mother wouldn’t chase him out as she sat downstairs hearing me shout out for her help; this is when I took that horrible choice and never bathed again for almost FIVE YEARS. Think about this please, just for a moment, a young girl beginning her periods, growing through puberty, used as a house slave, given as property, sold to local men for their enticement & wandering hands; even her own family still see her today as HIS WHORE and not the child who needed rescued from their evil cruelty. The small town of Freeburg left me to grow in this hell; filthy, rotting, and disgusting.

I attended Carl L. Barton Elementary school at the early stages of his evil attacks, which haunted me in the bed I shared with my much younger sister. His almost nightly visits were predatory and his thick coal stained hand clamped tight around my mouth to prevent so much as a whimper from seeping out. The next day at school my homework was never completed and the teacher’s would berate and belittle me, calling me stupid, lazy; making a point to direct attention my way. They were disgusted by the child whose skin was rotting away; encrusted filth covered my skin, my teeth plaque covered and broken black fangs dangling in my mouth. Almost everyone avoided physical contact in fear of catching whatever was eating away at my flesh. You’ll see a brief video attached above which shows the scars from the infection that covered almost every inch of my skin. My breath was rancid, my body horrifying and with an order as bad as the breath from my mouth. Simply put, I carried every single sign of wicked abuse, neglect, disgusting hygiene, a reputation that was built from being traded out; the local daughters were not permitted to hang out with me and the sons were not allowed to date me. I was garbage and EVERYONE in our small American town knew who to call when I did something wrong, they knew who the parent’s of this rotting whorish child were, but not ONE SINGLE PERSON ever asked so much as a question about my well being. Not one single teacher ever said a word, not one single adult man who attended the late night parties at our house for years ever said a word about the girl they used and then discarded; not one young school mate who came to the house parties filled with marijuana & alcohol, accepting the forced oral sex and handed this filthy girl as a toy ever said a word when they saw me in school the next day. It seemed all those years not one single person, not family, not neighbors, not even our local law enforcement or the many who came for the fun; I MATTERED TO NO ONE and THEY LEFT ME TO ROT IN THE HOUSE OF HORRORS.

The life I lived when I left my childhood, was one filled with self destruction; lost, confused, alcohol & marijuana addition, then into more than 20 years of almost deadly relationship/domestic violence. My three beautiful children born to my first husband had no choice but to grow in the shadow of a broken abused mother. They hid in the closets as my second husband violently beat me and on more than one occasion almost killed me. This evil of violence & abuse which took the voice of the little girl so long ago, then invaded my children’s lives and it took me until their mid teens to finally break away and slowly build a broken, but safe, existence for them and for me.

Today, people have referred to me as a ‘Hero’, ‘Conqueror over Abuse’, and even a ‘Freedom Fighter’, however I’m just simply doing what is now deeply engrained in my soul. I, along with co-founder Michal Madison, are presently building a nonprofit organization to help provide knowledge, understanding, and help for families, victims, survivors & communities who have been harmed or are dealing with some form of abuse; Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery the website Steps to Recovery, along with the community outreach broadcast of Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio, which has built a huge social following and reached over 30,000 listeners is turning into a great success – bringing awareness, enlightenment, empowerment, support, hope & faith for the many millions of survivors & advocates around the world.

I’m so grateful to say I’ve been doing a number of crucial speaking venues’; one recently with Dr. Elaine Alpert; an educational speaker for the Division of Global Health & Human Rights.

This was a chance to empower healthcare professionals to take every opportunity to question the safety of everyone who visits their offices; they may not get a second chance to save a life or rescue a victim. Coming up next, on the 19th of Sept., I am giving a two hour training presentation at the Victims Rights Annual Conference in Bay City, Michigan; invited personally by the Prosecuting Attorneys Association of Michigan.

Thankfully, by the grace of Creator, I am alive today to share hope & help for the many who are still living trapped in the silence of these crimes.  I’ve published my memoir of hell, in the story ‘My Justice’, built an incredible talk radio program, and am now moving forward with building the official nonprofit status for Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Programming. I am here to encourage others to stand up and say something, protect the children within our families, within our neighbor’s homes, and never let another child be so ignored by a community that they are left to rot in the evil within their home.

Thank you for any time you have given this message and plea for your attention. I’m grateful to be able to speak up and help others know their life after abuse is possible. I am grateful that I have finally found love; I am finally safe, and although I carry the physical & emotional wounds, although I carry the ugly scars & broken teeth; I am still alive!! I am building dreams in hopes that one day we can end this tolerance and begin teaching the true value of our children’s lives. They are not simply objects to be used, beaten, raped, sold and stolen away. We can inspire hope & help together, connecting hearts & holding hands around the world.

Respectfully,

‘Trish’ McKnight

Patricia A. McKnight

p.mcknight@charter.net

butterflydreams@charter.net

Phone: 618-304-7438

Author: ‘My Justice’myjustice_patriciamcknight

Exec. Director: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Programming

12156430-butterfly-dreams-abuse-recovery

Website: http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

Talk Radio: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery

Educational & Empowerment Speaker

Survivor & Emotional Health Abuse Recovery Research

Survivors World online support group

Blog: http://www.survivorsjustice.com

Linkedin: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/tricia-mcknight/39/2a8/753/

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

**Believe all things are possible with you in the active equation** ~trish mcknight

art designs by: Michal Madison, Watercolor Artist for the Abused

©Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery 2012

Horrifying autobiography inspiring lives around the world

“My Justice”

‘Life changing, Highly Reviewed

and now

Required Reading

by Dr. Brenda Joyce Orozco Markert-Green

Marriage & Family Therapy Training Course

La Sierra University

Riverside, California’

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‘My Justice’ is a horrifying, but excellently written autobiography about the sadistic thirty plus years survived by one local woman who grew up within the small community of Freeburg, Illinois. Located just 40 miles outside of St. Louis; Author Patricia A. McKnight is sharing a life lived in hell, which is a FIVE STAR RATED tale of just how dark one man’s actions can be to the child within his home.

Ms. Debra Mize, Prevention Coordinator & Educator for Violence Prevention Center of Southwestern Illinois, refers to this incredible story as the most powerful since she read and attended a speaking engagement presented by the great author Dave Pelzer and his autobiography, ‘A Child Called It; One child’s courage to survive’ which made the leading New York Times Best Seller List”.

“My Justice; Shocking, Disturbing, Emotionally Charging throughout every page!”

This powerful story will rock the moral foundations of everyone who reads. Patricia A. McKnight; Author/Advocate/Speaker, now founder of Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Programming, begins her story at just five years old as a happy little girl filled with excitement, but the moment she open’s the door to the next thirty plus years of her life, everything you thought you knew about the evils lurking within our homes will be forever changed’.

Dr. Brenda Joyce Orozco Markert-Green: whose highly skilled reputation as a Family & Marriage Counselor, Owner & CEO at Afterglow Counseling, Mediation & Family Services, Trainer for American Association for Marriage & Family Therapy, Educator and Adjunct Faculty Board Member of La Sierra University, located in Riverside, California is now using this incredible autobiography as REQUIRED READING for her  students in the field of therapy and family counseling. “My family therapy students are required not only to read this autobiography, they are also required to complete an exam and classroom discussion on what they absorbed and felt; what can they take forward as therapist to increase their senses, skills and expertise as counselors, and to enhance their abilities to better help their clients. This story leaves a deep, lasting impression on my students, which I’ve seen first hand. It truly changes how we see the lives of those around us and how the victims are left so shattered by these acts of viciousness.”

Mr. Peter Thomas Senese: Best Selling Geo-Political Thriller Author/Child Advocate & Founder of I CARE Foundation, who also helped build a women’s shelter and who, in his capacity with the I CARE Foundation, sponsored a conference at the United Nations at the request of the Department of State on international parental child abduction and trafficking, while working to create new laws and government policies that will protect children from kidnapping said of Ms. McKnight in numerous articles and essays, a ‘Hero; A conqueror over abuse and calls this book a ‘Blue Print to Freedom from Abuse’, but it is so much more for by penned word and by action after action, Ms. McKnight and all that encompasses who she is educates or reminds each of us that all of our voices matter. On this note, ‘My Justice’ is a map to find one’s courage, and in it, freedom. As an avid reader and best-selling author, ‘My Justice’ sits in a very special area in my home – and next to ‘Unbowed’ by Noble Prize writer and friend, Wangari Maathai – as ‘My Justice’ has had that significant an impact on my life and my own call-to-arms to protect innocent children from abuse. In my capacity with the I CARE Foundation fighting against child kidnappers, there are many times that I would ask myself while dealing with these difficult cases of families in crisis, “What would Tricia do?” Then answer has led to many children once bound to know freedom . . . and that is just how significant of an impact ‘My Justice’ has had on me and the community of children we serve around the world.

Ms. Linda Walcher: Educator in the Fayetteville & Freeburg, Illinois school system for over 20 years and now a leading member in the Illinois Retired Teachers Association and mentor for many college students has this to share about ‘My Justice’ and the little girl she once had as a student. ‘As an educator, I first met Ms. McKnight when she entered my fourth grade class. Being fresh out of college and a very young teacher then; she was one of my first students. In her bright blue eyes I saw just a happy, beautiful little girl. As I moved on to continue my long time career in the same school system she attended, I truly had no clue as to the life I could have saved in that child. It is only in the last few years, since first reading the details of her endured beatings and sadistic crimes of her step-father, that I have reached out and fully support every effort she puts forth on a daily basis to use her learned and lived knowledge to try and help many others. As an active member in the Retired Teachers Association and with the mentoring of upcoming educators now in college, there is not enough I can say about how this book has changed my entire thinking process. Back in the 70’s we were not as educated or made aware as we should have been about child abuse and what signs to watch for in children. Throughout my years as an educator I was able to help rescue a few children, but reading this story brought all of that little girl’s Red Flag Warning Signs, which she was waving around with all her might, but I just didn’t have the knowledge or the training then to help her. ‘My Justice’ is a book which I highly recommend for anyone who spends time with children.’

Incredibly, Ms. McKnight has taken all of her many years of tragedy and turned them into something she is hoping will help rescue victims of Child Abuse and Family or Domestic Violence. She has now built Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery, which can be found by visiting her website http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com. There she begins with a few basic steps which are FREE to use by absolutely anyone to help with rebuilding life after any form of abuse or violence has effected you or someone you love. On this new site you will find educational and awareness information about what to do if you’ve just recently been harmed and what we can be aware of as a society to help those around us who may be struggling to cope through some form of abuse.

Patricia A. McKnight, known as ‘Trish’ to those who chat with her almost daily, has endured a life that most of us cannot imagine, but to her it was just seen as ‘normal’. She knows the path many victims of these crimes follow in the aftermath of being violated. In her drive to better help us understand she is making all of us aware and hoping to be just one of the voices in the beginning of change.

‘The purpose for publishing ‘My Justice’ was a need to explain and apologize to my children for the many broken repeated violent relationships I engaged in, which have left wounds in their lives. The bitter truth is there was never any legal form of justice to come from all the years of almost murderous violence and sadistic evil, but I needed to release myself from the hand covering my mouth and holding me captive in dysfunctions and madness all these decades; this is how and why I needed to publish this story. What has made a deeper impact on me is the many millions living in our society today just like me; some with even more horrific stories than mine. Because of the way we have been taught to view these actions, there are now an estimated 50 Million or more who know how dark a parent or trusted person’s actions can become. It should be these stories of generations past and present; my voice and the voices of many others, which should be our society’s learning examples of how these crimes, and they are actually evil criminal acts against our own children and our partners; how they set up human beings to live out their lives in a broken existence without ever seeing any value in their person. Even though these actions have been going on in our homes and communities since the dawn of mankind, doesn’t make it the right way to live. It means that we have to step up our game against these behaviors and see them for what they are ‘Nothing less than a learned way to live and treat others’, a disrespect and need for power over another human being. We need to toughen our prosecutions for these crimes and begin protecting everyone around us, not just our own children. What we have permitted by teaching silence to the victims, is what I refer to as our own ‘Man-Made Cancer’ only there is no wonder science which will ever provide the cure. Only by being aware, being vigilant, and being educated about the impacts of the aftermath; the many lifelong struggles of mental health disorders such as; P.T.S.D; Depression, Anxiety, Drug & Alcohol Addictions, Eating Disorders, and even worse the many who’ve committed suicide because of the horrible after effects. Seeing these ugly realities for what they are is the only way we will be able to change what has been taught as so normal. I believe when you discard someone because of their dysfunctions and what many may judge as being ‘less worthy’ or ‘damaged’; then you are discarding a victim or a survivor, someone who has been or is now being brutalized by someone they love. It is by learning from the experts, many of whom make up the millions of survivors today, that we will be able to change our thinking towards these crimes. This is our only hope for providing some form of rescue for our children’s future. Our kids are watching all of the activities across the internet today and they are paying attention to what we do when it comes to helping them cope with all their daily battles. I wonder how they will think of us if we continue to ignore these ugly, vicious, soul destroying actions as we’ve been taught?”

If you would like to find our more about this survivor turned, Author/Advocate/Speaker/Talk Radio Prod & Host, Founder of Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery, you can contact her by emailing direct to butterflydreamsabuserecovery@gmail.com or tricia.mcknight@hotmail.com. You can also visit her website http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com to enlighten yourself and others about the recovery process or what you may be able to do, not only to spot a victim in your family or workplace, but also create a greater vigilance within your communities and school systems. ‘Trish’ can also be found across many of our social networking sites today. This engaging and empowering speaker is happy to share with your churches, schools, any outlet you choose to give hope and help to all of those who directly relate with children, young single mothers, and many men who are living the life of heavy dark secrets today.

You are invited to view her latest speaking engagement through this You Tube Video; http://youtu.be/tujWedUtdf0 This was at the Illinois Healthcares Grant Education Seminar held in Belleville, Illinois; National Shrine of our Lady of the Snows, where the Violence Prevention Center initiated a training seminar with the outstanding Dr. Elaine Alpert. One of America’s Global Health Staff & Advisors out of Massachusetts General Hospital, who is a panel discussion member and actively speaking for the Education and Enhanced Collaboration of Health Professionals to rescue and provide help for victims of child abuse, domestic violence, and human trafficking. 

Follow Patricia A. McKnight or listen to her live blog talk radio program every Monday & Wednesday evening:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery

http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

Google +, Twitter, Linkedin & Pinterest either Patricia A. McKnight or Tricia McKnight

You can purchase your copy of ‘My Justice’ in paperback, e-book, Kindle & Nook through most online book resources. E-book & Kindle editions just $2.99

References:

Dr. Elaine Alpert, http://www.ccvs.state.vt.us/sites/default/files/resources/E%20Alpert%20-%20Human%20Trafficking%20-%20Panel.pdf

http://www.ccvs.state.vt.us/content/elaine-alpert-human-trafficking-and-health-care-call-health-professional-education-and-0

Author: Dave Pezler “A Child Called It: One child’s courage to survive”

Published Sept. 1, 1995 by Health Communications, Incorporated and now a well known library and school reference autobiography.

©Patricia A. McKnight

Breese, Illinois

For contact please email: tricia.mcknight@live.com

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com