What will you gain from reading ‘My Justice’?

 

MyJustice         ‘My Justice’ by     biopic3

                   Patricia A. McKnight

 

Many people have told me how ‘My Justice’ has influenced their lives in a powerful way.  Sadly, I’ve also been told how my ‘victim’ story is way too graphic and is not suitable for public knowledge.

‘You really should tame it back Trish, it’s just too much in your face and our attendees just are not very receptive. Perhaps if you turned it back a notch or so.’

I’d like to take a few moments to help people out in making the decision to read ‘My Justice’ or hear ‘My Story’.

First off, let me say, this is an extremely violent true account of, not only the twelve long years of ‘terroristic’ child molestation, rape, exploitation, sex trafficking, family servitude, and physically disfiguring neglect, but also how having to endure through all of these pains affected my adult life, adult relationships, marriages, sense of self worth, and most importantly my parenting and independent skills in supporting a family. As you read the chapters, going from one traumatic ugly event to another, you are engaged in the accounts from the child, woman, wife, mother, and then the survivor whose only mission is to be a good person and find a sincere, safe, true love.

  • This book is NOT intended for any reader under the age of fourteen
  • This book is highly recommended for victims of similar types of childhood or adult personal violations and harm.
  • ‘My Justice’ is extremely useful in educating yourself and persons within law enforcement, healthcare, psychology, and family service providers.
  • ‘My Justice’ is a walk through a victim’s life in a home with a dominating forceful personality who engrained a sense of fear so intense, she lived day after day, year after year, in a constant threat of attack. You will see how this type of environment impacted her entire life, her decisions, behaviors, parenting, and how she was trained to be a sexualized, submissive personality with absolutely no other spark of identity within.

‘My Justice’ is a personal journey written first with only the intent to get it all out of my body. The memories were flooding my soul at that time, triggered by my mother’s heart attack and illness. Yes, it had always eaten away at me, how could so many people who interacted throughout so many years of my life, how could they have abandoned me to be so completely destroyed. I really had no idea who I was supposed to be. The second purpose was to explain to my children how it all had played out and affected their lives. I needed them to forgive my lack in skills, see how important they really were to me, and somehow use the knowledge I was beginning to finally understand myself; use what I’d written and studied in my own life changing path so that they could change how things were in their lives. Seeing how Bink reacted as he read through his true love’s life long pattern of pain was like a spark that perhaps I did matter, perhaps my secrets mattered, perhaps my horrific life could help someone else figure out how to change what had been done to them.

I found out just how many adult survivors of these types of childhoods were in our society. Everyone of us felt isolated in our pain, trapped by the expected behaviors & achievements of our society and unable to openly speak about these horrors. In the centuries before the internet, there may have been one or two who felt safe enough to reveal the truth, but most were living life ashamed of what happened and afraid of being ostracized for being that once silent, trapped, manipulated and controlled, terrorized victim. We were living our lives weighed down by all of the disgusting, vile, and brutal acts we had no choice but to endure and accept; no matter how often they happened or what we were forced to do. After some serious consideration, with a reluctance as to how it was going to be accepted, I took a chance and self published these nightmares because to me as I wrote out my dark inner self, there was a inner sense of finally taking back my freedom, my own sense of person, and I began to put together the person, with the values, that I wanted to be today. With me, through many who know me, what you see is really what you get. There are no longer any dark secrets looming behind the curtain. I am no longer trapped with his monstrous hand covering my mouth and holding me silent as I lay there trapped in his evil attacks. No longer was my only identity wrapped up in the sexualized, devalued, and stripped raw person my parents created. Publishing ‘My Justice’ was publishing ‘My Freedom’ and in finding my own identity I realized just how important ‘My Justice’ really was and it became my heart’s mission to change the centuries of human silence about this tragic topic.

 So let’s go forward then…..

Who will be helped and how will they be helped in reading this violent journey through my third nervous breakdown as a result of all that had been my life?

Victims & Survivors:

Although you may find this book triggering or upsetting, take a breath, lay it down and come back to it when you’re in a better place or a peaceful mindset. I want to tell you; ‘Your identity, the magic candle that Creator has instilled within every soul; the magic is still very much inside of you, and you hold the only chance at life it really has to shine. It’s tragic these evil actions have ever been committed against you, but if you want to be truly free from the pain, you simply need to be strong enough to let go of the only way of life you’ve ever known. You need to get angry at being someone’s victim all the time, decide for yourself that YOU will never tolerate another act of harm against you again. In reading ‘My Justice’, many have contacted me about how it inspired them to get away from an abuser, begin looking into their past, catching the repeated dysfunctional ways they parent their children. Readers have looked at the choice patterns they’ve made in life and what they believed was safe, tolerable, accepted within a relationship. If you are now or ever were someone’s victim, there is a life altering impact from the trauma which causes a chain reaction in your choices, behaviors, parenting, perceptions of the world as a whole. There is scientific proof of the frontal lobe brain dysfunctions caused by trauma on a child’s developing brain. the impacts alter your sense of safe, not safe, Fight or Flight; even how you develop your independence as a teen or preteen. Remember that regardless of your past or what your parents may have or have not taught you about life, you are the ONLY person who can control your decisions, your actions and your reactions You cannot and should not be trying to control choices and life patterns for someone else. You are the only one that can put forth the effort and determination you will need to change your life, but this book is something that just might help you re-evaluate your behaviors and relationships and at the end you will find a list of Five Positive Insights to help you through those challenging times.

Close Family & Friends of victims/survivors:

If you are a close friend or you love someone who is dealing with these types of harms from their past, perhaps as a child or even in adult or school relationships, there is an emotional distortion in many of the responses and actions you see in that person. You may disagree with all or some of their behaviors and what they do, you may say to yourself, ‘I’m so tired of seeing her fall down in the cracks all the time’. Please understand, especially in cases of a life raised in a violent home or a sexually distorted environment; they cannot help and may not even realize the level of trauma they’ve been through. It may be necessary to provide an intervention in some way, depending on how bad their life is today. They may not realize how it affects their instant responses to things in their life today. Maybe they are loved and have a happy family, however like many other human beings who have endured such atrocities against them, there are changes in their inner self that may not be like your choices, your reactions, your inhibitions. These persons have had everything that was good about them beaten down, degraded, and at its worst completely discarded for any sadness or pain, even intense fear they may have endured. Today we just want to help them know it is safe. Comfort and support them. If they find the courage to share with you, do not be shocked and disgusted. Do not tell them they shouldn’t talk about such things. Instead we need to see how we can help them. If you see them perhaps being too harsh with their children, making rash decisions, or even abusing drugs or alcohol; please offer them a contact of help. Address the issues with them, as hard or challenging as it may be. Let them know you are not judging them, but just want to help provide some light in their life and make things a bit happier for them. Love and comfort them, let them know they can trust you with their pain.

For educators, healthcare, law enforcement, behavioral specialist, and psychology professionals:

The professionals who come in contact with child victims or person’s in a dangerous situation, you are the front line for them. Remember that we teach our children these are ‘SAFE’ persons and that if they are in danger, not being treated nicely, or someone is harming them in some way; you are the strong one who will help them. In reading ‘My Justice’ you will see how the years of heinous neglect/refusal to provide any form of needs or care for the child, resulted in the belief that there was nothing about her worth helping or saving. The educational system where she attended from 3rd to 10th grade, day after day, as the filth and infected sores covered her skin, the black rotten fangs hanging from her mouth, the constant pattern of homework not done, no after school activities, no social interactions with others, nothing but a pattern of sexualized behaviors because in what she was taught; sex and servitude was the only value she had as a human being. Your professional contact in responding to a victim is crucial. How you make them feel that they absolutely deserve someone to hear them, see them, be gentle with them, and help them get to a safe place matters in how their future beliefs and life patterns will be built. When you respond with care, concern, a sense of tenderness; you have the power to change their lives and the dysfunctional self hatred engrained by years of trauma and pain. In law enforcement, when you disregard the child, woman, mother, father, who has been hit, violated, or dominated by a sense of terror; you have also left them believing they are not worth saving. You can learn to evaluate the care of each individual within the home, then determine if there is cause to take the ‘bad’ person away and give them time to find a safe place. Behavioral specialist & Guidance Counselors at school; rather than continuously reprimanding or suggesting medication control of the child who displays disruptive behaviors, always lagging in homework, no interests in activities, poor social skills, perhaps only one or two persons you see them interact with if anyone at all. There is a more simple direct question and a process of building trust, a respectful bond, with the troubled child/person. You can be much more pro-active in assisting/encouraging a change in behavior when you ask; is there something going on, maybe I can help, is there someone at home that has you scared or is preventing you from doing your homework?’ The direct concern of the person’s well being just might save their life. After you read ‘My Justice’ you’ll be more aware of the details, rather than just the trained bullet point behaviors, of someone who just might need your help. As a community responder, someone who interacts with this person on a regular basis, you will see just how your tuned senses learned from the victim’s words of these horrors and be able to more frequently spot a person in need of your professional assistance providing them with a safe place. 

‘My Justice’ has been used in online psychology courses taught by Dr. Brenda Markert-Green. It is also a regularly recommended read from one of Illinois strongest voices in the Illinois Retired Teachers, Coordinator for the Teacher’s Mentoring Program for upcoming educators. This very personal story has been suggested reading by my own therapist for other patients. It’s also been recommended by advocates across the country, in United Kingdom, Australia, and Canada. As a society we have a direct responsibility to be able to maintain safe communities for our children, this includes the homes where our children aren’t allowed to go and the parents we don’t trust around our children. It is what we do as aware protective parents; as a society who wants to help create some type of change in how these past taught and trained behaviors against people within our homes; those we love the most and those who have no choice but to endure, grow up so they can get away themselves; this is where ‘My Justice’ will change your life and you will become more instinctive and responsive to the victims & survivors around us everyday.

As professionals, neighbors, community leaders, church elders, and responders; it is our adult duty to evaluate what lies underneath this misbehaving, lagging, promiscuous child. Be prepared to find out just how bad it can be sometimes inside the homes of those in our community. There are usually signs of a dysfunctional or harmful environment, learn them and use the guide to determine how best to help someone you know.

As you have read here, ‘My Justice’, has already achieved so much more than I ever thought it would and has influenced the lives of tremendous people with the power, knowledge, and ability to make a difference in the lives of those who suffer. We can all do this by simply caring about whether or not someone is safe. Don’t just listen to the fighting and screaming down the hall from the same family night after night. Don’t turn up the tv or close the window, instead open your heart and allow yourself to pick up the phone and report what you see and hear to the front line professionals who are there to help, especially when it is a child who cannot fight back, cannot refuse, and can be easily manipulated into believing all of the pain is really their fault, they just aren’t any good and it doesn’t matter that they are being hurt. Should we ever allow another being to feel this way about themselves when there is a beautiful light inside each of us, which just might one day change the world?

I hope you purchase ‘My Justice’. I hope you recommend others to read this story, share your copy of the book with a friend, list it as recommended reading for college students studying to become a front line defense person for families, victims, and survivors who just might be waiting for someone to help them see that their life, their smile, their safety really does matter.

Thank you for your time here. I appreciate any feedback you want to share. If you’d like to arrange a speaking venue or perhaps need some assistance yourself, or maybe you want to know more about the full list of things you can do to help; please email direct to trish.mcknight@live.com

Be well & keep on dreaming, your butterfly, your freedom, your sense of safety; your inner magic really does matter!!

Patricia McKnight

‘My Justice’ – A true account, chapter after chapter, of the many horrific years endured through evil, sex trafficking, servitude, brutal beatings, and what is no less than torture. Please use personal care when reading, do not stress to rush through but rather take your time and do not allow your past to take away your amazing future.

 

copyright @ Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Sept 2012

 

 

 

 

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So what is the problem here???

Please forgive me if this post seems a bit gruff or harsh, I surely do not intend for it to be disrespectful in any form.

What in the world is going on here???????

This morning I’m waking up and catching the early morning St. Louis local news broadcast, which I always do, with an excellent team I enjoy @KMOV News 4. Once again they did a wonderful job in bringing attention to 2 local area recent ATTEMPTED CHILD ABDUCTIONS by a predator. They also focused a few moments on sex abuse, which once again a victim of a coach is coming forward to speak up about what happened seventeen years ago while under the coach’s direction.

I am so proud of the silent victims who find the courage to speak up about any case of sexual abuse. It is a truly SILENT CRIME. Molestation leaves NO PHYSICAL WOUNDS to show the child has been touched, fondled, violated. Oral Sexual Abuse leaves NO PHYSICAL WOUNDING for us to see; something to confirm right off the bat our child has been harmed. Sexual abuse of children in this form is just the beginning for a pedophile, if not caught early on, the abuse could last for 10 years or more. This is the need we have now to teach our children the power of their voice and speak up when they are being violated by these acts, NO MATTER WHO THE OFFENDER MIGHT BE!!!

Back to the direct topic, about the victim who is speaking out against the coach who abused them and the media coverage of these cases….

Now I absolutely do not have a problem supporting the media finally bringing attention to this topic, it is most definitely about time. The issue I thought of as I listened was simply this;

Why is it that when a victim comes forward about an abduction or another person who had charge of them and then abused that power, our media is more than happy to share? However, when it is a victim coming forward about a childhood filled with nightmarish abuse and evil sadistic attacks by their parent(s) – NOT ONE PUBLIC TELEVISION NEWS WANTS TO BE THE ONE TO REPORT THAT STORY????

Sadly our society knows inside, that this type of abuse happened for many children decades ago, and still today, ON A CONSTANT BASIS!!! Their homes which should be filled with laughter and love of family, are turned into a whirlwind of degradation, violent attacks, threats with weapons, and the worst of continuous sexual contact. The abusive acts are suspected by others or witnessed by others, but then dismissed or discounted; minimized so the child will remain silent and believe they are crazy for acting out. Even on a deeper level of predator control; their lives or the lives of other family members or pets may be threatened with death if the child speaks up, or we will lose our home, our family will be torn apart and it will all be YOUR FAULT. This is the truth about what the daily abused child lives with and what many hundreds of us as adults, parents & grandparents now, are finally trying to break down the barriers of family silence about these acts and give the survivors comfort to heal, resources to help mend their broken lives.

Why do we NOT want to bring media attention to these types of cases?

Well it is this survivors opinion that because this type of abuse and evil violent attacks have touched so many of our lives in the past. Many of us have become numb to these cases because it runs so deep within our past generations. Many more of us believe that if we bring this type of evil to the surface it will invade our family and then what will we do?

I’m asking, as I always do, that survivors of these past types of childhood attacks find the courage to break their silence and allow the media to draw attention to the vast numbers of beings we represent as a whole. We are an estimated 50 to 60 Million Survivors Strong so you will NOT STAND ALONE as you speak up. Those around you may not wish to hear your toxic words, but until we can make these types of cases a fact in our society and teach everyone the importance of protecting their family circle; then how can we expect our children who are living in this constant threat from their parents to ever find the courage to speak up?

I, and many millions of others, know how harmful these heavy secrets can be to a person’s emotional state and how years of accepting these personally violating attacks day after day will take away the value you should feel about yourself. It traps you in believing it doesn’t matter; many victims find themselves trained into a continuing pattern of acceptance and maybe even harming their own children?

When will the vast majority of these cases be a sign that we need to do something about it now? When will these horrifying stories of vicious incest and even the common practice of handing our children off for someone else to violate, be as important in the media as the cases of the coaches, pastors, scout leaders and others such persons of society? These are the ugly truths that must be brought forward in order to help change what we have always passed on to our children.

Don’t get me wrong here, we must continue to teach our children to defend against a predator from outside the family circle, but when will we also empower them to believe it is just as important to see that ANYONE, even your parents, can be a predator??

I am a strong voice against the abuse or violence against any other being, but my focus is directed at the attacks which happen inside our homes every second of every day!!! When we empower society to end the tolerance of these types of abuses, then we can truly begin to feel we are making a huge change to influence a safer world for our kids. They will be the ones to pass on the knowledge, the human behaviors we teach them, the socially acceptable practices we drill into their heads every day, this is what they will be teaching their children.

What happens when we continue to teach silence about the acts of sexual, physical, or emotional harm that happens within their family unit? We get yet another generation infected with a higher rate of premature death; heart & pulmonary conditions; other health related issues both physical and emotional. Is this what we want to pass on in their lives, so that they are broken parents who then influence their children with emotional harm or worse?

It is my hope that if you read this blog, you pass it on to another, and then another. It’s not about fame or attention, it is about passing it on to empower another survivor, who was once a child victim, to believe in their voice and the courage they carry inside to break down those cage like walls then finally walk free from these life impacting wounds today. Join with me and many hundreds more as we share our voices to empower children today. Join us in letting kids who are being harmed at this very moment, to know there is a life outside of these attacks and they too will one day break free to begin their own path in life, they will have freedom & safety when they use their voice to end the constant abuses.

It is also my hope that our country’s media resources begin revealing the ongoing numbers of parental victims of vicious childhood abuses who are sharing their stories to enlighten, empower, and educate society today; hoping they can make a difference in saving just one child from this lifelong pain of secrets.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, please help me share this message. Again I am not condemning our media or the many victims of society’s abuses who are speaking up today, I am merely hoping that someone will help bring focus to the daily attacks that happen within our homes, killing the souls of men, women & children every second of every day!!!

 

Visit the website for Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery to find out how you too can take back control and feel your strength to break free and finally find the path to your own true happiness. Find me through many social networking platforms @triciagirl62

Founder/Exec. Director, Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Programming.

Assist. Director: Michal Madison (Watercolor Artist for the Abused)

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**Don’t forget to grab your copy of ‘My Justice’ today!! When you purchase this memoir of a tortured life who finally finds the love she’s longed for to protect and give her strength, you support our ongoing community outreach programs of empowerment and education against these types of abuses.**

***You can find ‘My Justice’ through most online book resources; Amazon, Barne’s & Noble, Authorhouse.com. If you wish to try it out first, because it is one truly powerful read which may cause a lot of emotional reactions especially for survivors, YOU CAN READ THE FIRST FIVE CHAPTERS FREE before you purchase. I assure you it’s a page turner which everyone should be reading. As quoted in many reviews received ‘A compelling story which strikes such a deep impacting nerve you want to stand up and scream as you walk the path of this incredible survivor’. You can find many of the reviews for ‘My Justice’ along with marvelous testimonials for Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio and the growing website resources by visiting our direct link above.***

You deserve roses in your garden of life

Always

Live Strong & Fly Free

©Patricia A. McKnight

©Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery 2012

 

Magical Merry Christmas wishes for all!!!!

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A magical Merry Christmas from me to you,
I hope you’re not at all feeling blue
Stuck in the thoughts of Christmas past
Perhaps some memories are searing and bad,

When you feel the sadness bearing down,
Let me share a few things to lift up your frown

This time of year can bring lots of tears,
Many may remember with fear
Perhaps thoughts to trigger those feelings lost
Swirling, reeling, through your mind they are tossed,

Don’t get caught in the trap as you ponder the how
Keep a tight hold of the love around you now

Grab hold of a smile from here,
Think of the laughter caught in your ear,

Take a little hug from there
See all the glitter swirling through the air

Take a breath, close your eyes and dream
Of the moments that make Christmas time gleam
There is no better time of year
To find magic all around; some there and a little here

Watch the children’s excitement grow
Watch the stars above you glow
Hold the magical moments tight
These will give you the power of light

You no longer have to fear, those times are no longer here

Those moments are gone, although some may be strong,

Tell the bad to let go, it is your time to grow

It is time to break free, open your heart and see

The beautiful star is glowing inside, there is no reason for you to hide

  Tickle your child; listen and hear
All the magic that is this time of year
Live, love, laugh & be free
Surely there is magic in that beautiful tree

This Magical Merry Christmas Wish
Is for all of you, from little old me
Here’s a smile and a hug to hold you tight
Your new beginning has now taken flight

Patricia A. McKnight

© http://www.survivorsjustice.com

© http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

Author: ‘My Justice’

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