Shocking, disturbing, unbelievable, horrific, but brutally honest….

‘My Justice’  mj-2_thumb

Patricia A McKnight  cropped-bnd11.jpg

“When we dismiss a Family Offender, especially if the outburst becomes grievous or terrorizing; who will teach our children there is help? What path of life will they believe they deserve? Will they grow knowing only to harm their family or will they always allow someone to terrorize them?

Their life path could be drugs, violent outbursts, criminal behavior, maybe gangs and murder; perhaps they will endure silent suffering in extreme depression, or other form of mental illness….This survivor is not trying to take the stage, she is trying to give the stage to the severity of our community violence and sadly how our refusal to address this issue continues teaching silence, tolerance, and acceptance of what’s inside their worst nightmare everyday.

This survivor is using her terrifying life; the enslaved battered child who was shared and traded, used and abandoned, attempted suicide, and continued tolerance of almost murderous attacks, including weapons constantly threatening her daily survival. ‘Trecia Ann’ hopes she can encourage the lost, broken, wounded parents and grandparents today. Let’s open the door, address the inner suffering and become a positive force in your child’s life. They will live in manners taught through our parenting, and leave your home with the life skills you have ingrained; what will be their perceptions of life?

Remember the silence and disregard of the abuses around us, creates what can become the most dangerous crimes in our communities.

‘Yes, I come from a different generation and since that time, throughout the 1970’s, 1980’s, 1990’s we have learned a lot about the detrimental impact to our human psyche when we are violated and harmed. However, these same studies & statistics show these types of destructive crimes are still happening inside many neighborhoods, apartment buildings, and in our families across the nation. This is what has become a heart wrenching process in trying to bring this topic to the forefront of our legislative leaders, social services, all medical professionals, educators, and law enforcement today.’

Author/Advocate/Mentor/Survivor, Ms. McKnight, shares her life & focused research in this two part interview with Producer Rebecca Kimbel.

In the first interview McKnight shares some of her personal journey growing up inside a house of hell, while an entire community and school system watched as she was traded, shared, exploited and brutally attacked inside her home. In part two you will hear about how early onset PTSD could possibly be misdiagnosed as ADHD. You will hear about her partners who are strong resources of their own; they are finding victims being trafficked/shared by family, beaten and abandoned as she was back then. You will hear about the legislation proposal currently being reviewed by Illinois leaders, hoping to update Prosecution & Statutes when dealing with Family Offenders.

Her story is one which most readers, even survivors, are shocked in disbelief that a mother or a community could be so uncaring about a child. However, the scars that cover her body, the mouth filled with broken (half repaired) teeth, and the ten years in trauma recovery therapy are most definitely proof of just how extreme it actually was for her. Her stepfather was feared by all. Her mother played the perfect impression of his victim. Her siblings were not like her in anyway.

Tragically for this little girl, she was given to her stepfather like property by a narcissistic mother who forced the child into constant family servitude actually purchased a little brass bell for her husband which only ‘Trecia Ann’ was expected to answer. She scrubbed the corners of their family home with a toothbrush every weekend, but she was never given one to brush her teeth or permitted safe time for any personal care or hygiene. She was neglected of all basic human needs, including the most basic need; the crying child begging for her mother’s love and protection.

Please read her story, the first five chapters free, “My Justice’ on Authorhouse.com

ONE OF THE MOST GRIEVOUS CASES OF CHILD MALTREATMENT & DOMESTIC VIOLENCE  however our statutes will never give her justice…..

Some material may be graphic, please watch at your own risk and interest……

PART 1 – https://youtu.be/yqQ7e2564yU

PART 2 – https://youtu.be/QaexoCNqhcM

Here is a PETITION on CHANGE –

Mandatory Federal Prosecution for repeated grievous or sexual harm against a child 0 to 15 years old……. MAKE OUR LEGISLATORS ADDRESS THIS TOPIC NOW!!!

OneChild

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/voicesinjusticeradio

Please read her story, the first five chapters free, “My Justice’ on Authorhouse.com/Amazon & Barne’s Nobel. Watch the two new personal discussions via Youtube, or join in an upcoming event to hear her speak about the trauma that can exist within our homes.

Connect with Trish McKnight @ Facebook.com/triciagirl62 or email direct: p.mcknight@charter.net

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Family Crimes….Our greatest human tragedy

Hello Friends – **IMPORTANT** A HUMAN PROTECTIVE RIGHTS OUTCRY!!

Today we ask our Federal Justice System & Human Rights Protections to be our most crucial point of concern. What is it like when the only TERRORIST a child knows lives inside their home? Help our human society end this centuries old issue of

FAMILY CRIMES & TERRORISTIC ABUSE!!  https://www.change.org/p/let-s-make-all-sexually-related-acts-against-a-minor-a-federal-offense-and-allow-a-three-step-review-of-all-child-maltreatment-reports

Will you please pass this to your circles and help us gather a huge political issue to protect the most basic of every persons human right –

THE RIGHT TO BE SAFE IN OUR PERSON;

          free from harm & free from fear of harm!! Written into law Dec 1948 –

United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

FFY 2011 CHILDREN’S BUREAU NUMBERSStats to be SAFE

Age vs Abuse

Stats Offenders

Right this moment the children around the world & children in our very own families need your most desperate help please. Four incredibly strong voices in South-Central Illinois; are working on awareness conferences at Lindenwood University, U of I Springfield University, Springfield ‘Stop the Traffic Conference, Vandalia Child Trafficking Prevention Conference, and lining up more as they come in. We are begging for our friends to assist with spreading the word across the United States; we want a Federal Review to address the constant pandemic numbers which affect & murder our children everyday.

These photos, part of Family Crimes Presentation, are just the basic information researched. Have you looked at your states numbers? This is the complete breakdown of National Child Maltreatment Reports & Dispositions FFY 2011. This is a special report taken directly from the Children’s Bureau, as recorded into our National Child Abuse and Neglect Data Systems (NCANDS) – Personally researched and broken down for you here in specific numbers. Please see how serious our numbers really are. In 2011 Child Deaths from physical abusive harm or neglect of care – 1576 RECORDED CHILD MURDERS as a result of direct parental/family responsibility . Today we ask our Federal Justice System & Human Rights Protections to be our most crucial point of concern. What is it like when the only TERRORIST a child knows lives inside their home? 

In the United States the greatest numbers of Domestic Child Sex Trafficking begins withing the close family unit, most often a parent/step parent/guardian of care.

TraffickingServitudePic

Thank you,
Dana, Trish, Lisa, Gregory

Voices InJustice Radio & Fierce Redemption Talk Radio Programming
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/voicesinjustice

©Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Nov 2012 – Nov 2015

Get acquainted with Founder/Creator/Author: ‘My Justice”

Family Violence Specialist/Empowerment Speaker/Talk Radio Producer & Host

PATRICIA A. McKNIGHT – http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com/home_tmp_6314.html#.VbuPpMBViko

Ready, Set, Wide Awakes of our American Society

ATTENTION PLEASE!!!  YOU CAN HELP MAKE CHANGE HAPPEN

REVIEW, SIGN, SHARE, GET YOUR POLITICAL LEADERS INVOLVED  

Working to end the teaching of silence, community & societal tolerance, levels of disregard of the ongoing extreme harm which exists in the dangerous environment

‘Family Crimes and Terroristic Abuse’ – Trecia’s Law 

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*** Photo taken at ‘Lincoln Memorial Library’ Springfield, IL – 03/20/2015

On this link you will find an ongoing active petition through Change.org; https://www.change.org/p/let-s-make-all-sexually-related-acts-against-a-minor-a-federal-offense-and-allow-a-three-step-review-of-all-child-maltreatment-reports

We have this active petition to request our politicians across the country help us update old laws, procedures, and victims services directives. We need to ensure our provisions are doing the absolute very best for all persons, especially our children. In our American Society we must strive to do our very best to protect the RIGHT TO BE SAFE, especially when the danger is within our home. It is the duty of our laws & policies to intervene when there is repeated extreme cruelty possibly being committed in grievous damaging manners against our children; crimes against those who cannot fight back, are easy to manipulate, and can be forced through extreme actions or threats to permit sexual interactions, even the use of illicit drugs or alcohol during the attacks/manipulations/exploitations.

   UGLY TOPIC – ABSOLUTELY

DO THESE TYPES OF ACTIONS EXIST IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD –

NATIONAL ESTIMATE – 1 in 4 homes

There are many federal & national health organizations which have studied the impact of the ongoing years of these types of heinous actions and behavioral teachings. There are many certain lifelong impacts validated by the modern day life challenges in family, relationships, self loathing & self destruction, which millions of survivors speaking out or privately seeking assistance today have dealt with, without hope for intervention; some surviving the worst for decades of ongoing threats and believed sense of certain harm. These survivors endured years of repeated sexual or physical grievous harms, many others forced to allow sexual interactions with other adult persons or neighborhood members outside of the family relationships, traded or forced to take part in sex trafficking circles.

In our modern society we try teaching our children about the bonds of various types of family connected by compassion, love, and positive guidance; we teach children about tolerance of others freedoms but do not educate about their direct personal rights to be safe. How many children do you know who are educated and understand they have legal protective rights to defend from those most horrific abuses which tragically most often begin within the barriers of our home; committed against persons unable to protect themselves, committed in the heavy silent circle of generationally taught acceptance and tolerance of these harmful actions within our human society.

Please we can no longer force these victims into shame, blame and protect their family abusers.

We request grievous threatening violence or sexual crimes against children between the ages of 0 – 15 to be prosecuted through One Federal Policy, with forfeiture of any and all assets to provide victims recovery services, life skills development, family & parenting education, along with self sufficient rebuilding platform!! –

Read the exact TEN BULLET POINT MEASURES, sign your name, pass it on to a friend, help us unite to gain media attention and force our nation’s leaders to listen to us NOW!!!

It is time to review/implement/update our existing policies to ensure we are assisting when the worst of these offenses are committed by a parent or family member who has complete access and control over victims actions, behaviors, and existence. We are requesting a review and/or implementation of protections beginning for persons born on or after January 01, 1984. It is crucial in today’s prosecutions & policies to mandate the protections of our children from those persons within their home who repeatedly commit aggressive harmful actions and repeated human behaviors of violent threats which have been accepted throughout generations and centuries of our human existence.

 ‘WIDE AWAKE’; Strong American Society

Against Acceptance & Silence of

Family Crimes and Terroristic Abuse

https://www.change.org/p/let-s-make-all-sexually-related-acts-against-a-minor-a-federal-offense-and-allow-a-three-step-review-of-all-child-maltreatment-reports

Whatif_159x171_thumb.jpg

‘Wide Awakes’ was a verbal reference by a group of men at a pub late night who heard the ramblings of a rally to elect Republican Abraham Lincoln for President of the United States of America.

His policy – ‘All human beings to be seen equal under the eyes of the law and provided with those same protected rights throughout the nation’

Thank you for your time. If you would like to know more about specific research and publications from Centers for Disease and Control, National Institute of Mental Health, National Institute of Health, National Child Traumatic Stress Network; send any and all contact or media requests to trish.mcknight@live.com

 

Best regards,

Trish McKnight, Dana Pfeiffer, Lisa Chilton

Copyright of Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery from Sept 2012 – 2017

www.vpcswi.org

www.groundofgrace.org

www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

Please tell me why this is not a crucial point of attention!

Child Abuse Prevention & Sexual Assault Awareness

So I’m a bit angry; why you might ask?

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There is actually a couple of answers to this question.

1) Another year has come and gone in which not a single politician or lawmaker who has the power to call attention to the ongoing Child Abuse and Family Violence within our society has been willing to make it a public issue.

2) April is upon us and although there are many great events planned throughout this special month, the problem I have comes down to this;

Why in the hell do we not honor Sexual Assault Awareness Month and Child Abuse Prevention Month with their own specific month?

This is a topic I briefly addressed last night on Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Talk Radio and one I will share more with you today.

You see it bothers me that we don’t feel these two issues are worthy of having their own special month, so we join them together and address the issue as a whole rather than in the honor they so very much deserve.

As a survivor of both very horrific child physical, emotional, neglectful, and sexual abuse, which also included exploitation and trafficking within my own small hometown community; I’m also a RAPE SURVIVOR!! (Of course there are also the 20 years spent living in almost deadly relationship violence in my lifetime as well)

In our society we have problems talking about the crimes of family violence, child sexual abuse, molestation and the like. For some reason it is something we still consciously choose to keep in the dark; whisper about but don’t accept publicly. This is an outrage because of the millions, estimated at some 40 to 60 million, who are survivors now living and struggling with the aftermath and trying to be accepted in society. However, to be accepted we must not speak of what’s happened in our past. We mustn’t discuss the dark family secrets simply because of the shame it could bring to the family dynasty. REALLY?

How good are the morals of that so called dynasty if we are raping and beating; torturing our children? What is the quality of mankind’s decency if we are forcing survivors of these most vicious and heinous acts to remain silent and fear public and family abandonment? Why is it still so the norm to put the blame of these acts against children who could not defend themselves nor run from their attacker?

These same ugly secrets and fears apply to those who have been raped as adults. However, I will say the response to admitting you are a rape victim is a bit more tender than that of a childhood rape survivor. I truly do not understand this on any level!!!

Our society and our justice system has shown that we still blame the rape victim, no matter how old they are. This was seen just recently in the Steubenville, Ohio rape trial. However, as we’ve also seen, the community has rallied around the victim and let her know she is not in this alone. We are outraged by the minimal sentencing of these perpetrators and the lack of prosecuting those who witnessed, recorded, and posted pictures and discussions about the young men carrying this victim because she was too drunk to walk. We are talking to our kids about the right and wrong of this and I’ve seen many great articles and blogs written from various survivors and others.

Please do not take me wrong, I am most definitely 100% behind the victims whose cases of gang rape and various other attacks have come to our public attention lately. Thank goodness we are beginning to rally behind them rather than turn away.

I ask you though;

What in the hell is so different about these cases of rape we’ve heard about lately and those who are coming forward about the childhood filled with years of brutal attacks of rape, trafficking, and truly physical torture beyond the darkest of imagination?

Also, permit me to add, we rally behind and acknowledge the many long term issues of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Anxiety and more which our war heroes and the recent public rape victims are left to carry. There are continuously more and more psychologists and others with organizations such as National Institute of Mental Health and our Center for Disease Control and Prevention who have conducted studies on the after effects of both war and sexual assault. These studies have concluded that the trauma of both of these life threatening personal situations and attacks leave the same lasting emotional scars.

On this note;

How do you think these lasting effects of trauma and life threatening attacks impact the lives of the many childhood rape survivors today? What is the big difference between supporting and gathering our voices for the war heroes and veterans, the recent rape victims and others, verses the many millions of child rape and abuse survivors who are still forced to hide in the shadows of our society? How is this right on any level of our decency?

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The day will come when we can begin to change the acts of abuse and violence within our homes. It will become a force to be reckoned with as we begin to support those who are sharing their stories today. The problem however, is that it’s not happening fast enough for the many millions of children who are living in the hell now!! The recent collection of Child Maltreatment Reports from the nationwide Child Protective Services; shows a grand total of 3,734,012 reports of child abuses reported in 2011. This is just one year. The Federal Children’s Bureau is presently looking at reports collected from 2007 through 2011 to update our present statistics shared, which were collected and officially reported in 1996.

If we cannot recognize the very importance of this issue and address it head on as a joined and united society, then what are we passing on to our children? Are we showing them we care and want them to have the best if we still are not willing to acknowledge the severity of the issues and how prevalent the acts of abuse and violence truly are in the homes around us?

I understand that by acknowledging the voices from the past we have to accept what we may have witnessed and allowed to exist. We have to accept that some of mankind’s darkest attacks on others happen within our own homes or within those homes of our neighbors. We have to accept that we may have heard the screams for mercy or the horrific cries of a child and did nothing. We have to accept that mothers and fathers, brothers, sisters and close family friends have all seen or been party to these heinous acts, but stood by and did nothing for these children. It’s a lot to accept and I get that, truly I do. I am one of those many who had an entire community, school system, law enforcement, family friends, school mates and others who all witnessed, took part in, or knew of the many attacks from my stepfather. They also watched as I physically rotted away in the disfiguring neglect because of my mother’s lack of even the slightest of human kindness or caring for this one specific daughter.

It’s an ugly situation we are faced with, but we must absolutely act on it now. This month of April; this dedicated month for Sexual Assault Awareness and Child Abuse Prevention cannot be another dismissed month without the attention of our politicians, lawmakers, and those in our society with the power to change our laws and create a stronger united front of education and prevention on these issues. Those who have the power to rescue our kids. Those in our communities who know these families living in this type of hell and do nothing;

child screaming help me

WE ABSOLUTELY NEED EVERYONE ON THIS NOW!!! OUR CHILDREN LIVES, THEIR FUTURE, THEIR WELL BEING, THEIR HOPE FOR LIVING SAFE IN THIS WORLD; ABSOLUTELY DEPENDS ON US ACCEPTING ALL OF THESE UGLY TRUTHS AND RALLYING BEHIND THE MANY VOICES SPEAKING TO EDUCATE AND ELIGHTEN US ON THE HELL OF BEING ONE OF THESE CHILDHOOD NIGHTMARE SURVIVORS!!

If we continue to wear our blinders and pretend not to notice how many are being harmed every single moment of every single day, then we will never be able to stop this horrific man-made cancer that is eating away at the very soul of our existence as a human race. It is crucial that the topic of child abuse and family violence become a common discussion and one that we all are willing to address. It is no longer about what has happened to so many of us or how ugly these acts are, but more instead about how we can learn to be aware of these truths, support these victims and survivors, help provide resources and recovery systems for families and victims, as well to speak to each and every school system and child about the voice they have and how to use it to protect someone they feel is in danger of an attack within their own home.

It is a horrible truth to accept and discuss, but what is the outcome if we continue on the path we are today? Simply put, it will continue. Sure we are a society that is slowly becoming more vigilant about what we see and hear around us, but we are nowhere near where we should be on this issue. What is so damn difficult about this? Why don’t our politicians and lawmakers address this in their speeches and their election platforms?

Why is it so taboo to say: I am a childhood rape survivor?

Isn’t the nurturing and overall safety of our children an issue that all of us in society can rally around today? Tell me please what is the difference between understanding the danger within our homes, supporting those who have gone through decades of self destructive and sometimes suicidal endings; when will we be strong enough to accept our faults, push aside our generational teachings of silence, and finally step up to the plate to defend each and every child from the evil that lurks within their home?

As much as I hope this write up catches the attention of every human being, it is simply my prayer that we will learn to accept what’s happened in our past and use it as an education towards what we need to end in their future!!!

Please do something now and make the issue of child abuse and family violence prevention a topic which all of us can share over a cup of coffee or during lunch with a friend. We can do this and teach our kids there is no shame in being an abuse survivor. Instead, there is hope and great courage in using your voice to speak out and seek help!!

Thank you for reading and I do hope you’ll share!!

© Patricia A. McKnight

Author: ‘My Justice’

Advocate/Speaker/Talk Radio Prod. & Host/Survivor

Founder: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery

http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

Artwork courtesy of: Michal Madison Art

http://www.michalmadisonart.com

The Town Who Chose to Abandon the Child

Each day I am usually contacted by a survivor of Child Rape, Molestation, Brutal Physical Abuse, Emotional Battery, and even severe Neglect. It breaks my heart to know there are so many of us, especially since I always felt so isolated and alone in my recovery journey. To know that in truth there are an estimated 40 to 60 Million of us in society today who are now parents and grandparents trying to make up for what our emotional scars have passed on to our own children while we try to watch out for the children around us now.

There are many layers of recovery that we must work through and if you are one of the millions who are still struggling through the aftermath, you know exactly what this means. For me the abuse encompassed all forms; from severe disfiguring neglect to spiritual and religious abuse, to trafficking and forced involvement with many different grown men and young teen boys who I also attended school with each day.

“Crazy to think these many young boys were threatened to take part in either raping me or lining up while I was ordered to perform oral sex on them. The next day when I saw them at school however, they would whisper, tease, point and be disgusted by the very sight of me, but ot once ever spoke up about what they were ordered to take part in the weekend or night before.”

This past Tuesday I had a therapy appointment and as I was preparing myself all morning as to where I wanted to direct my discussion that day, the hour long drive to her office filled my head with the swirling tornado of anger and memories. By the time I arrived at her office I was such an emotional wreck all I could do was walk in circles in the closed little office and shake violently at the prospect of talking. There was a fire of anger inside and I honestly did not know how to begin the sentence and explain to her what was wrong. Thankfully she is a marvelous well trained and expert in Trauma Recovery Therapy and we’ve been working together almost six years now. T^o say the least however, she was still a bit shocked at my actions and when I broke down on the floor in tears she knew that whatever was going on inside was eating at me and we had to break the wall to get through.

The anger was billowing up from the gates of hell where I had trapped it many years ago. I honestly believed I had worked through all the anger issues and had nothing left inside to be angry about. I guess as I have been talking on the radio with my guests, co-host and the wonderful growing number of listeners, it seems the hellish nightmares started churning and things I didn’t think I felt any anger about came pounding down like a hard cold slap in the face.

“If you know or love a survivor or if you are a survivor; know that our emotions buried from the trauma continue to invade our present day lives because of the many layers of mental destruction caused by the attacks.”

To share with others of this new emotional breakdown, those of you who know this buried pain and how we try to avoid going back to our dark reality; this new layer of anger is aimed at the entire community who made a conscious decision to ignore and watch as a beautiful little girl rotted in the evil of her home. The town is Freeburg, Illinois, where I spent nine years of my life, living through the very worst of all the torture and blatant neglect, the trafficking and the beating. The town was a small coal mining community back then made up of farmer and miners and totaling about 1500, according to our population sign shared on the ‘Welcome to the Village of Freeburg’ that was posted at either end of the main road, Highway #15, which ran through the middle of our small little nest.

“Oh how I try to erase all of the connections to my past. My life is so good now and it has only been truly safe since about April 2002. There are days however when I just can’t turn up the music loud enough to drown out the thunder of emotions and dark horrific memories.”

storms               Thunderstorm2_small

Now I know times were much different back then, after all I grew up there between 1971 and when I first left home it was 1979, then finally left the area for 20 years in 1983; not ever moving back to that community. I can’t even drive through it without having a major panic attack, but back to what I was saying.

According to PDF report, attached here, written by John E.B. Meyers, he gives an excellent break down of our country’s Child Protection Act and it’s origin.

To quote just a few bits & pieces here;

1) In the forty years between the economic panic of the 1890s and the great depression of the 1930s; the devolvement and growth of social work became a recognized profession.

2) Organized child protection emerged after the 1874 rescue of 9 year old, Mary Ellen Wilson, who lived with her guardians in New York City’s Hells Kitchen.

3) The 1960s witnessed an explosion of interest in child abuse and physicians played a key role. It was pediatrician Henry Kempe and his colleagues that published the block buster article, ‘The Battered Child Syndrome’, which played a leading role to bringing child abuse to national attention throughout the 1960s and 1970s. It was after this publication that media outlets started filling their publications with stories of maltreatment. A Newsweek article titled ‘When They’re Angry….’ quoted this:

    “For every child who enters the hospital badly beaten there must be hundreds more treated by unsuspecting doctors. The Battered Child’s Syndrome isn’t a reportable disease, but it damn well ought to be.”

4) The Social Security Act amendments of 1962 gave way to the following shared by Vincent De Francis in 1967:

     “In additions to sharpening the focus on child protection, the 1962 amendments required all states to pledge that by July 1, 1975, they would make child welfare services available statewide.”

5) The first four child abuse reporting laws were enacted in 1963 and by 1967 all states had reporting laws. As the reporting laws went into effect the prevalence and child abuse and neglect came into focus. By 1974, some 60,000 were reported, by 1980 the reports climbed to 1,000,000; by 1990 they topped 2,000,000 and since 2000 they have been hovering above 3,000,000.**In 2011 there was a total of 3,712,034 reports of child maltreatment, but only about (1/3) of them were actually handled and processed through our child protective services system.** per Federal Children’s Bureau reports from all 52 states collective CPS reporting systems.

6) In 1977, Henry Kempe, gave a lecture in which he described: ‘sexual abuse of children and adolescents is another hidden pediatric problem and hidden area.’

It is this author’s determination that while I’ve tried to excuse the problem of ignorance throughout the school officials and the community in which I grew up, you can clearly see that in the early 1960s child abuse and sexual abuse of children was becoming a nation wide media and governmental issue. You can also clearly see that each state had a least four mandated reporting laws in effect as early as 1963.

“So for the officials who were required by law to report and help the abused children they witnessed, what the hell happened to me towns people of Freeburg?”

The first and most prominent of the Red Flags I was displaying, was the severe blatant neglect. Our family had the very best healthcare coverage available then, that which was paid for by United Mine Workers Union of America. There was absolutely no our of pocket cost  at all for care. Many may remember how strong the Mine Worker’s Union was in the 1970’s. These people took baseball bats, axe handles and fists to their meeting and brawls were common with many having to go for medical treatment. Our town, Freeburg, had these such meetings because Peabody Coal, Riverking Underground #1 was the lifeblood of the community.

Now although I was suffering in the many sadistic sexual attacks from my stepfather, and yes I know that sexual abuse rarely displays any noticeable physical signs; there are still many silent signs the victims display without being fully aware of what these actually reflect.

In school my silent warning signs were like huge beams of light searching for hope of rescue. My grades went from A’s and B’s to D’s and F’s. My homework was rarely completed, but the teachers always seemed to make note of that fact and ridicule me in front of the other students.

“Are you dumb or just lazy Patricia? Boy how I”d love to have told them that I didn’t get it done because I got beaten for two hours because I put on the heavy pajamas to protect me from his roaming hands or I was busy cooking, caring for my sister, and had to spend the evening being raped by a shotgun barrel.”

Of course we all know the shame attached to this type of abuse, so it is rare that a child will ever break that silence; especially if they are being badgered and belittled by an adult. All the red flags were waving high in the sky around me. My plaque covered, never brushed, broken black fanged teeth. The rotting flesh covered with crusted filth and infected sores. The heavy stench of body odor and the unwashed stinking gym uniform was all visible to those around me, but still not one single person, no teacher, school nurse, or other school official ever questioned my care in any form. They all watched me fail at everything, they avoided any discussions or physical contact at all. The memories I have of school are all clouded by the many years of trying to hide from the world the ugliness that was now seeping from my soul and covered my flesh.

When I share that it was the entire community, I do mean all the family friends who came to our house for various reasons; the adult men who attended the late night parties which I was ordered to be hostess, toy and child drunk they could feel up and play finger games with as stepfather watched on in enjoyment and mother’s cold eyes as she walked into her bedroom and closed the door. She permitted him to use me however and whenever he chose. I was taken on their dates and fed alcohol while he tried to find a man to entertain my mother so he could teach me how to slow dance. I was taught very young, just 11, when we first went out to the bar and I was ordered to shake my ass about and use my body to entice the grown men around me.

Then of course I can’t leave out the neighbors and local police. I can’t even remember all the parties we had with drunken teenagers and cases of beer or the half barrel stored outside to keep cold. Kids walking in and out, my little sister got in the habit of charging them a dime to use the bathroom and it was a joke as too how much money she actually made at each of these events. The times when Mother took her along for weekend excursions, but left me behind to take care of the house and of course her husband.

“This is my time away and I won’t be bothered with you coming along.”

Each time she went away she would go around to the local corner bars and warn them each not to give stepfather whiskey because she couldn’t trust him not to kill her kids while she was away. Every time she came home I was covered with bruises and had to spend at least 6 to 10 hours cleaning up the mess from the fights that always broke out. Usually it was because a boy that didn’t want to take me in the next room and screw my brains out stood up and said ‘No’ to him. It could have been the nights that he got angry because I had a boyfriend so I didn’t want to do what he ordered from me.

The neighbors and the police all knew of these many parties, you can’t keep anything in a small town quiet. The folks on our street got a birds eye view of him dragging me across the road by the fist full of hair, or getting beaten in the middle of the street with his fist; perhaps the midnight dash out of the house trying to find a safe place to hide after my brothers had taken off and left me there with his raging temper. There was always some type of explosion at our house and the temper of stepfather was well known to everyone.

As I talked with my therapist the other day, she asked me what I would say to the community of Freeburg and the many who watched me be handed out and rot in this hell. I would actually love to have an article published to share my anger with them. It was suggested by her the following:

“Everyone in that town should be REQUIRED to read your book so they could feel what you lived through and hopefully open their eyes to what they so blatantly ignored.”

In truth I know I wasn’t the only child in that town that suffered the abuses of their parents, but not once have I ever met anyone else who had rotted like I did or been left so severely scarred, both physically and emotionally, in such an extreme nature. To be perfectly honest however, the words I would like to say to them could only be screamed and would be so foul that it would just lower me to their mentality, so I’ll use this writing instead to express the trapped emotions. Hopefully this will help me shed another layer of pain and begin a new light of healing.

Our society is so judgment of everyone who seems to be poor or less worthy. Our society disregards even the children of those adults who they feel are unfit. Our society damns all who have contact with such families. Our human society has no empathy, respect or tenderness for the many in our country who do not live according to their beliefs and morals.

To all of society I ask you; What morals do you have when you turn away from these vicious acts against children committed by their parents and the family friends each and every day in our country? When our Federal Children’s Bureau has reports of the statistics on these crimes and in our present day world full of information, emergency response system, federal and state child maltreatment reporting mandates, but you still use the age old ‘UNFIT’ status quo to pass your judgment on who should and shouldn’t receive your attention and who deserves to receive help or rescue. The poor of our society are not all bad parents, in fact, the reports show that the largest account for child abuse in our country is the White Middle Class who account for 43.9% of all the reported 3,712,034 calls for help to Children’s Protective Services.

“How do these reality checks make you feel now about the moral standards of mankind?”

Every soul is born with purpose, let no one keep you down by their judgment. Dream and chase those dreams, put forth the effort and no one can hold you back. No matter what the past has taught you, tomorrow is a new day and a new chance to create, build, achieve!!

~~Always Live Strong & Fly Free~~

Patricia A. McKnight

Author: ‘My Justice’

Advocate/Speaker/Writer/Talk Radio Prod & Host/Survivor

Founder: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Brdcstng.

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery

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