A Letter to an Angel…..Dearest Danyelle;

Wishing I could be like you……

danyelle

You’re beautiful you know. When I first met you and we shared those first cheers together, we rode on the wagon through town in the biker parade. I didn’t know how to talk to you. I was afraid I’d say or do something that would cause you to see me as unacceptable.

Your spirit was amazing. Such a beauty you carried. In truth, your confidence and astonishing smile intimidated me. From the very first time we spent together I questioned,

Why can’t I be more like her?

You loved so openly and you saw beauty in absolutely everything. You allowed yourself to be free in every glorious way. How do you do this?

Every time I was around you, I was simply amazed by you. You know the hayride we shared, when Robbie and I had just recently started hanging around the area again? Not sure if you know how excited I was to share the fun with you, but of course the wuss I am; tequila rose didn’t allow me to make it very far on the ride. So sorry I passed out in your lap dear friend. Thank you though for taking good care of me. Truly appreciate it my friend.

You probably felt I was secretly bi-sexual, especially the night I walked mesmerized smelling your perfume, lol!!! I’m not girl, you were an idle to me and I know I never said those words to you. Perhaps you would have understood me better if I could have said what I can only write to you now?

You see, it’s too late for me to tell you what I saw in you. How the love you openly shared of everything in life, is something I could only dream of doing. Your beauty, your smile, your laughter, your kindness; it all intimidated me. I know if you knew this you’d give me a hug, buy me a shot and tell me, ‘Don’t be silly Trish. Look at what you do and what you’ve done; you’re beautiful girl!!’

Problem dear friend, I don’t know I will ever be able to see me through your eyes or through Robbie’s eyes for that matter.

Dearest Danyelle, I know many will miss you. Hell, look at the mile and half long funeral procession you had, it was magnificent to see how you had touched so many lives in the short time you were on this earth. You touched every heart you came in contact with. Danyelle your spirit is something I dream of having. No matter what the need or what the fighting cause, you were there. Who could tell you no?

Dear sweet, beautiful lady, you touched my life in ways that I never had the guts or words to tell you. Every time I tried to be around you, I screwed it up. Did you know how uncomfortable I was? I didn’t know what to say or do. I didn’t want you to see how my horrid life had marred me and how dysfunctional I am around people I admire so much. People Like You!!!

I’m so sorry I never shared this with you while you were here on earth, but some part of me hopes you know and that your magical spirit will find a way to help me become more like you.

Fly free Danyelle!!!

Stay glorious my beautiful friend. You are missed by many, but somehow, I want you to know how much you will be missed by me!!!

Tricia McKnight

Friend, Author, Advocate for the Abused