Its a ‘Family Defender’ Campaign from Butterfly Dreams!!

BioPic3.png          Patricia A. McKnight

Author/Advocate/Speaker/Radio Host/Survivor

Owner/CEO – Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Programming

 

Its really wonderful to wake early in the morning and have the very quiet, bird chirping, sun rising time to myself. Its like an injection of life. This quiet time of morning is when my senses are most heightened as a writer. This flow of energy also drives me to become an activist and no longer the person who just thinks about doing something; the person who is right there; confused perhaps but willing to begin helping the process of change. This is where I come to you for help, advice, guidance, conviction in what I’m sharing. So hopefully,  you’ll read on a bit then give it some thought. If this article in anyway makes you believe there is a way to begin changing what the past has lead us to today, then please pass it on to just one friend and let’s get this party started!! Thanks much ~~

‘ Always believe anything is possible with you in the ACTIVE equation’ ~~ trish mcknight

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Throughout these past four years now I’ve been networking and connecting with other resources of help. Thankfully I’ve found many across the country here in the U.S. but also in many other parts of the world who are speaking out, supporting survivors, providing ways in which studies can be conducted, reports published and voices discussing the deep impact of trauma left in the aftermath of those who’ve endured continuously dysfunctional, deviate or harmful attacks. Think of the perceptions of life you would develop and the behaviors you would pass on to your kids. You may know a young parent dealing with this today.

In having the Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio Network, we have talked with hundreds who’ve been interviewed by myself and other hosts.  All of these person’s have shared the path of self destruction from these types of personal trauma. Keep in mind that most often it is so extreme and so habitual that it is because of a need to survive this person’s wires would automatically adapt to the environment and the behavior of those around them. As once one of these victims I can say that the worst possible part of all those years growing up in pure evil; not one other single adult who had the ability and the training to notice the severe neglect; all those who knew about the trafficking, and those who were close family friends who witnessed it all or heard all the stories shared over the kitchen table about the parties with ‘Trecia Ann’, there were many who knew but not one of these person’s felt that I mattered enough to protect or help in some  way. This is extreme societal abandonment & judgment of a child.

How many children do we have living in this type of life pattern at this very moment? If you think real hard about things you see and the behaviors of others around you, there is a very good chance that you know someone who is trying to pretend nothing horrible is going on.

We can not accept that one more child be abandoned to live in their nightmare. I believe our duty is to educate and continue to discuss how the repeated patterns within our family occur. It becomes our ‘NORMAL’, the constant harm is how we see the world and we don’t expect things to change, yet we somehow know inside that its wrong. The victim grows and their behaviors are often a repeated pattern from what they endured, so this all gets passed on generation after generation. I’m witnessing today how it all impacted the lives of my children and grandchildren. We know that as we become adults it all has to change, it must end somewhere for us or we will surely explode. This is probably where all the psycho serial killers begin.

What if we tried something NEW???

We have been accepting and discussing many changes in our human society. Acceptance, ending bullying & school violence is at the top of everyone’s list. Here is our chance to influence a better way for our children. We can teach the new generation a better way, just as we have already begun to do in many communities around the world; influence a more humane and protective way to view the world around them. Think of the influence it would make if you were to stand up to your family members, not in a rage over what has happened in the past, but instead what you will not allow to happen today. Tell them you have learned what harm occurs to a child’s development when left to grow up in pain and having to keep dirty little secrets. We know what it feels like to be so isolated in the control of your household monster. We have already been there and we will not be quiet while it all continues to happen and destroy another generation; especially when it comes to your own children.

Choose to tell your friends about the choice you made and how you want to make sure we are watching out for all the kids in our circle. Today you choose change. You are your ‘FAMILY DEFENDER’!!

What is a ‘FAMILY DEFENDER’ and how do you become one?

Visit our website at www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com . Please scroll to near the bottom of the page, you will find a contract; ‘BECOME YOUR FAMILY DEFENDER’.On this contract you are providing your signature and making a commitment to change; to be brave enough to end the repeated pattern of harm which occurs in our homes, floods into our streets and is destroying the SAFETY of our children in their schools. Our kids are being bombarded everyday with all types of criminal and deviate behaviors, look on the net and you will see the world our children live in. I’ve seen Youtube displays of torture and explicit sexual contact between our children and adults.

Think about the fact we all only have Six Degrees of Separation between any one person. This means someone knows that child. Someone knows these adults. Someone out there may even suspect or have been a victim of these same adults previously. Someone Knows!!

This is a sincere plea to all those persons who follow my writings about these topics and for the many thousands who support, share and like what is being done through our team at Butterfly Dreams. You can meet each of them by visiting our website, where you’ll also find their links. Take a look at our incredible Board Members, which we are grateful for the outstanding persons they are in their special arena. Review the local training & active support ‘Trish’ is building within her own small community. These are amazing resources, which have the ability to reach out further and encourage our society to take the ‘Family Defender’ pledge. This is a state of mind and if we are going to live in a world of freedom for all person’s then we must provide the tools and commitment to protect those who do not have a voice; those who are forced to live in what are the presumed innocent behaviors within our family unit.

If you’ve read this article and feel you are ready to begin change in your own circle, please visit our website and make the choice today, TAKE THE PLEDGE & BECOME YOUR OWN FAMILY DEFENDER!!

You hold the power of change in your hands, you can create its path and influence its growth. What pattern of human behaviors do you want to teach?

Here are some excellent resource links to share what our FBI VICTIMS ASSISTANCE, COMMUNITY OUTREACH, VIOLENT CRIMES AGAINST CHILDREN, and TRAFFICKING OF MINORS divisions are doing across the country. Also a link for you to learn your VICTIMS RIGHTS, no matter what type of crime is committed against you. These are your constitutional rights under national law in the United States. You can have these rights enforced for any criminal actions committed against you, even Identity Fraud, Online Bullying, and other such acts.

Here in Clinton County, Illinois I am continually reaching out to let people know who I am, what I do and why I make the choice to be active against these horrific violent acts against own family members; worst of all being the continuous behaviors of tolerance and victim abandonment. Will you decide to support & protect those who are unable to speak up, fight back, or protect themselves from their household monster? Begin an active change for our decent human morality and begin with the attached pledge. I do hope those hundreds of members in our Talk Radio Group and the thousands on my friends list will help us out here. Please be brave enough to tell the monsters ‘NO’.

Take the pledge to become your FAMILY DEFENDER.

Thank you

May you always be safe & live strong

Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight

Contact me direct by emailing: butterflydreamsteam@live.com

In case someone you know is being harmed right now, please contact 911 or your local emergency response. Make the right choice!!!

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For more information about our government resources please contact www.fib.gov

 

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Prisoner of War;The hell inside the house down the street -Passing the ‘Family Terrorist Act’ – ‘Trecia’s Law’

Friends & all person’s affected by the ‘Family Terrorist’ please read this blog. Help us gather 1000 more signatures to support passing this  law. Please think of all those who endure ‘terror’ inside their homes everyday, just waiting for a chance to grow up enough and escape the repeated attacks against them or other family members. We cannot leave our children inside the care of these types of abusers. Hold the attacker responsible for the constant imposed fear or impending thoughts of doom. Help us by inviting those you know to sign this petition.

Friends & visitors to this site and blog, may find some of its content to be disturbing or triggering of their own emotional wounding. Please be cautious of your responses to what is shared, particularly if you were once a person trapped inside a home filled with horror. If you find yourself reminded of your own troubling past, please go to something more pleasant to relieve the debilitating thoughts.

You might first think, ‘She used the word debilitating about a blog?’

Yes, indeed I did. You see the subject of being a ‘Prisoner of War’ stuns us and evokes emotions from within our deepest recess. Instantly we feel compassion for those #veterans who endured any form of this meaning. However; this particular writing isn’t about our typical Prisoners of War. Its not about the courageous men & women who go off to fight our country’s battles and are suddenly taken captive by the opposing soldiers.This is something even more horrifying; something many of us normally wouldn’t consider when thinking in terms of battle or being held prisoner. This is about the child prisoners who are held captive, many of them terrorized for years without ever revealing the truth to the outside world. We see these survivors walking around in our society everyday, in every walk of life, but we may never know just how much they have suffered or what battles they are still fighting as a direct result of the emotional trauma left in the aftermath of their hell. There may be many who read this and never connect the dots of their suffering to any form of harm they may have witnessed or personally endured during their young years. Sadly, they are still blaming themselves for the dysfunction or turmoil they feel inside, or for the lack of being able to connect with their own children. They are searching for the path to achieve the peace they dream of in their adult relationships, but it always seems to be beyond their grasp.

For them I would like to say, ‘This is NOT your fault!!’

These past ten years we have learned a lot about the emotional trauma of our returning veterans and endured trauma from the house down the street. Studies have been done to look inside the impacts of child maltreatment, witnessed violence, or even the acts of bullying from childhood peers. Experts in mental health treatment have been documenting and reviewing what these types of actions, or witnessed actions against another being, can do to our psyche. They have worked with patient after patient, noting the similarities of these private traumas.

‘What have they learned from these studies and the many thousands of cases unreported or even spoken about for decades?’

The link I’ve attached here discusses Complex P.T.S.D. Syndrome.

“In DSM-IV field trials, Roth et al (1997) found that complex PTSD is associated with the experience of prolonged exposure to trauma (i.e. over days, months or years), and first exposure at an early age. Complex PTSD is also associated with prolonged interpersonal victimization, such as battering by a partner, torture or prisoner-of-war experiences, and child abuse.”

I believe this is one of the best informational resources on this subject. You will see they share here those who usually end up with this type of diagnosis. These are those who have endured the worst of mankind’s actions, those who have been held prisoner during wartime and those who are a different kind of prisoner, they have been prisoners within their home!! Those who were tortured, terrorized, sold or traded, imposed threats against their person for years and the actual evil inflicted or forced against them with no way to protect themselves or a way to escape the perpetrator. Many endured years of painful acts against them, then they were brainwashed to believe they somehow deserved it; to believe it was their fault they were beaten, raped, tortured or degraded; controlled by extreme acts of violence or even the imposed fear of violence.

Maybe they witnessed violence committed by one of their parents against another parent or step-parent. Maybe they were traded or sold to someone to be used in sex or beyond ‘normal’ physical labor. Maybe they went to bed at night waiting for the monsters to come prowling around and strike within the darkness. Maybe their schoolmates inflicted constant harassment or violent acts against them.

For whatever acts they may have endured or witnessed, these are victims of extreme harm & mental control by intimidation, even threats of death if they ever said a word to reveal what was really happening in that perfect little home down the street. It could also be the dysfunctional family we all knew but never did a thing to investigate the level of harm being done behind those walls. Was it because we feared that same controlling person the child or spouse feared? Maybe we turned away because we didn’t think it was any of our business, or we were just taught to believe it was acceptable for some families to use extreme control or physical harm as a form of punishment. Either situation has resulted in the same outcome, severe emotional harm which can lead to the life altered wounding and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, along with many physical illnesses such as Heart Disease, Chronic Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pain Syndrome, Lung Disease, Kidney or Liver Disease. Yes these many illnesses can  be the result of inflicted trauma, especially when it is endured for years without ever having resolution or rescue to heal the emotional wounding. Remember these types of survivors have been hiding who they really are, what they really feel, how they really think, and maybe even how they react to these actions. All of this trying to hide one’s true self can result in extreme stress. However, it is what this survivor had to do in order to get through it all and come out to be the individuals society will accept; rejection and blame is a constant threat. Many times rejection from family, the lack of being able to connect with others, the lack of understanding from others, the need to hide inside themselves for fear of being tagged with a mental disease or being considered an under-achiever; all of this can push them to commit suicide.

They take their life because they have been psychologically tortured to believe the tortures against them were THEIR fault, and it is THEIR fault they have all these battles going on inside, or maybe they fear hurting someone else as the result of losing control. 

Think of what these miraculous survivors have been able to accomplish while hiding inside the wounds of their imprisoned childhood or a dangerous relationship. Many become over-achievers. They will push and push themselves to be WORTHY of society, to be WORTHY of love, to be WORTHY as a parent or partner, to be accepted & promoted in their professional life, or perhaps they fall to the bottom of the pit and because of their inner pain they get lost in drugs, alcohol, self destructive behaviors attacking themselves because of the believed shame or blame they carry for their horrible existence. Often they will NOT openly display their emotions or disappointments.  They never had a weapon to hold off their attacker. Most were children who couldn’t even say NO to the attack. They couldn’t scream, they couldn’t cry, they couldn’t let the outside world know what was happening. If they ever showed some sign of the inner horror of their home, it could cost them their life or they believed they would be taken away; manipulated to believe they would be locked up because of what someone else was doing to them. No one would believe them and many would even place the blame of the sexual interaction on them, making them believe they DESERVED the attack is part of the manipulation itself.

Remember these children became experts in hiding the truth because if they ever showed any sign that lead to someone getting suspicious or invading their home to investigate possible harm; the price might be too much to pay. These prisoners believed their perpetrator and believed in their control. They knew no one could ever get them out in time; they would be murdered before the perpetrator would ever let anyone find out about their true secret.

If you review what the explanation of Complex P.T.S.D. reveals, especially the comparison between our war veterans and the adult survivors of these types of trauma, you will NOT see any variance between these two types of traumatized individuals.You WILL find more connections between the two than our society would like to accept or believe. In fact, it is only because of our war veterans returning home with these complications and mental trauma that we ever began investigating this disorder in the first place. Complex P.T.S.D is not a personal illness, it is a direct result of trauma endured throughout years of pain, repeated attacks, and inflicted emotional harm or the belief in controlled constant fear. (Think of these conditions as they relate to our grown men & women who are held captive or sent to battle; it is that same endured fear and emotional trauma.) As a society, we accept this condition in our war veterans and support all of the needed resources to help them recover. However, when someone shares they carry these wounds because of a life filled with horror and torture from their parent/s, we turn away. We don’t see the connection, so instead we make ourselves believe some of the following;

‘No parent could inflict such painful acts against their own child’; ‘No home could ever be as dangerous as what our veterans have endured’; ‘Mrs. Smith has never shown anything but kindness and caring in our neighborhood’; ‘Mr. Thomas would never use a weapon to threaten or rape his own child’.

These are the things we tell ourselves, because to accept the truth; to believe that ‘YES’ our homes can become as dangerous or even more horrifying than wars being fought on the other side of the world, well that would mean we would have to accept the possibility of our own guilt in refusing to see the truth when we saw the bruises, heard the cry for help or knew that other adults were using that child. Instead we blame the child. We can accept the possibility of the child needing more control over their behaviors. We use the diagnosis of things such as A.D.H.D, A.D.D, Bipolar or other such behavior or personality disorders, rather than to accept or question the possibility that homes within our quiet little suburb could ever be ‘dangerous’. When we are discussing possible relationship violence, we are made to believe the spouse is emotionally unstable resulting in them attacking and the perpetrator having to defend themselves with force.

We create excuses for what we see or the acts we have become trained to tolerate within our family unit.We can accept these possible scenarios because then we do not have to accept that our gut told us something else was going on, but we didn’t know what to do or how we could possibly change anything?

Readers this is the reason we should be listening to the many stories from these types of survivors today. Our society has finally opened the door to possible ‘Domestic Violence’ in a home. We have finally accepted and put into law that no person has the right to harm another, even in their own home. However, we still do not want to accept just how horrifying or damaging some of these actions can be. We don’t want to listen to the gory details or the constant sadness left as a result of such trauma. The only time we are accepting this today is if it is a case discovered today, if it is a child rescued today, if a perpetrator is caught TODAY!!! I’m writing this to hopefully encourage you to support the loved one in your family circle who may have been a child victim of the past generations. We must believe in their emotional trauma from the painful homes. We must support their journey to FINALLY be able to use their own voice and speak about what nightmares they actually endured. These may have been some of the most ferocious acts from the very parents who were entrusted with their care.

We never really know the people living behind those walls across the street. We never really know what happens when the door closes on the outside world. Only these persons know the evil inflicted against them. Only these persons know what battles they feel inside today. Only these incredibly strong individuals have endured these evils, then walked through life hiding who they really are because of their fear of being blamed or rejected by others; tagged with some form of mental disease and blocked from being promoted in their jobs or becoming a success on any level.

Understanding the aftermath of their survival is the beginning of their healing, rebuilding who they are so that they can become the positive person’s needed to parent their own children. When we deny their truth, we deny their existence and continue to trap them in the cage of silence. We can only help them when we listen to them, when we have patience and compassion for what they have been forced to do as a result of the sick minds who attacked them. It is not their blame, it is not their shame, they did not ask to be raped, to be beaten, or sold out for someone’s sick pleasure. They had no weapon to protect themselves. They had no voice to speak against what they didn’t want to do. They were prisoners controlled and manipulated by evil. Forced to take part in unspeakable sexual encounters or beaten beyond their own recognition for the slightest imperfection or dereliction of duties. They have been manipulated and tortured, some beyond our wildest imaginations, but they have survived. They are not diseased with some mental or emotional dysfunction, they are traumatized individuals who with the appropriate support system and understanding can be the most affectionate, compassionate, and empathetic persons in society today. No longer do they have to survive as ‘Prisoners of War’. We have the resources, we have the teachings, we have the studies to show how we can help them heal and become the leaders of tomorrow.

 If we can do it for our veterans, if we can do all of this for the cases we hear about in the news headlines today; then why are we so adamant about turning a deaf ear to the stories from yesterday’s hell?

Mine is one of these stories, as is hundreds of others I know or have interviewed. We see the published stories, we see the comments and the posts on our social sites. We know these persons. We can help them become the true outstanding individuals they are inside. We can hear their voice and comfort their pain. Healing from trauma, as any therapist or psychological professional will tell you, is a journey filled with support and compassion. Trauma recovery is a process of rebuilding the soul and allowing the voice who witnessed or felt the extreme fear to finally be heard. You can be part of their journey to freedom by simply providing the support system they need in friendship or as a respected partner; teaching them self appreciation and self love for the decent person they are and who they are trying to be as they present themselves and their truth to a society trained to tolerate and dismiss the evil inflicted by those meant to protect us. It is in this type of hell these wounded warriors have survived being a ‘Prisoner of War’. It is compassion and understanding that can set them free and end the ongoing battles they deal with to hide their emotional aftermath today. ©Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight Acknowledgements: http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/177/2/144.full#ref-9 Herman, J. L. (1992) Trauma and Recovery. New York: Basic Books. Lindy, J. (1996) Psychoanalytic psychotherapy of post-traumatic stress disorder: the nature of the therapeutic relationship. In Traumatic Stress: The Effects of Overwhelming Experience on Mind, Body and Society (eds B. van der Kolk, A. McFarlane & L. Weisaeth), pp. 525-536. New York: Guilford. Roth, S., Newman, E., Pelcovitz, D., et al (1997) Complex PTSD in victims exposed to sexual and physical abuse: results from the DSM-IV field trial for Post-traumatic Stress http://www.nctsn.org/trauma-types/complex-trauma/effects-of-complex-trauma Disorder. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 10, 539-556.