Public Health Department canceled presentation because victim story too intense

biopic3This is no joke my friends. In January I was asked to present for the Illinois Department of Public Health; April 8th for the Women’s Health & Family Wellness. Unbelievably the lead coordinator for this conference contacted me last week and stated they would have to cancel. When I asked upfront if it was something specific about my story or my presentation, she quickly responded;

‘Your story is really a bit too much in your face. Perhaps if you tone it down a bit and focus more on what we can do to help, then maybe we can invite you back. We’ll keep you on the list of presenters and see what happens.

Let me say first, any time that anyone has asked me to speak – all they have wanted is my horrific victim story. I have learned how to ease my story through but it’s not an easy feat, especially when you consider the true horrific nature of the story itself and how many persons circled through my childhood and adult relationships without ever saying a word.

Quickly I emailed this lead coordinator the presentation I have used to help more than 100 survivors, used on more than 200 radio shows, and have built a website for educational & empowerment for every person. It is NOT a VICTIM’S STORY. In fact, it is ‘Steps to Recovery’.

In this presentation I share first our protective law history, the stats of some 2.3 million discarded reports because the sole intake worker decided they didn’t warrant further investigation. The presentation also covers the very serious truth about molestation, a crime which leaves no physical trace. When someone has molested a child, there is rarely any trace because it’s not like rape. It is touching and groping, therefore without seeing a child’s physical response to another person, or listening to how they play and interact with other children or their toys; you may never know your child is being molested. If the person/s molesting the child are the parents/guardians, then this child may have been going through this since before they can remember. It could be that sexual contact and stimulation is all they know. If they have just started being molested, you will see the outward signs of trauma and challenges in the child’s appearance, interactions, and their school work.

Anyway, also in the presentation I go through the Five Steps of Recovery which came from what I had to do in order to help myself change from victim to victorious. These are goal lists, positivity lists, understanding the impacts of my specific trauma, and it is the work which VICTIMS have to do, NO ONE ELSE CAN DO THIS FOR THEM. It is about empowering every victim with the one thing taken from them which leaves them in a victim state of life, it is about teaching them to use their voice and not to be ashamed of what someone else has done to them. It is not a crime they did but rather a crime committed AGAINST THEM.

Think about this for a moment, if we tell victims they need to ease up on the facts of what someone else has done to them, isn’t this the same as the abuser telling them that no one cares, no one wants to hear, no one will help them? In my eyes, having gone through my own very challenging and life pattern changing recovery; silencing a victim is like putting them in a cage with a bowl of water and a blanket for comfort. It’s like gagging them and only letting them talk when you want to hear them. It’s like taking away their power and their strength to find their balance again. It’s very hard for a victim to find trust and safety to speak at all. They must reach deep down inside to find that one point of them that they feel matters and then believe that someone else will think that it matters as well.

Now, having the Public Health Department tell me that they had professionals who had seen video of me, had seen photos and read a few emails; then decided my story was just too ugly to sit through. If we cannot educate the professionals about the honest truth of how vicious these crimes within our homes, hidden under the parental control and inflicted terror against a child; if we cannot be honest then how will we ever teach our children that they have nothing to be ashamed of? How will we teach them to tell someone when they are being touched, probed, sold, traded, beaten and degraded by the people they live with, the persons who control their very existence? I ask you friends, although we should definitely use age appropriate measures when talking with our kids about these topics, how can we teach them if the professionals do not want to hear the details of their suffering?

I very much believe that the voice of a victim is the one solid tool which will lead them to feel victorious in their life. One step at a time they learn that as they release the details of their suffering that are no longer afraid of the sledge hammer of hell coming down to destroy them. It is the locked up silence which traps them in living a victim pattern of life. This much I’ve learned in the years of not having insurance or money for a therapist so I lay in bed crying for days, screaming about the how & why of what happened to me, why wasn’t I worthy of protecting as they protected my siblings? Why did I have to be a slave, forced to answer the ring of that little brass bell, whatever the ‘master’ needed? Why was I the only one forced to spend days scrubbing the corners of our house, then two years after I move out, the house is so over run with roaches, not even the exterminator can keep up with the battle? Why didn’t it matter that I was covered with filth and infection, my teeth black, plaque covered and broken, my body covered in bruises day after day? Why didn’t someone in that town help me, why didn’t I matter as a human being?

Because no one ever stepped up to say; ‘Hey Trecia Ann, you don’t deserve to be treated like this. You deserve to be safe, take a bath in your home, a toothbrush, some tenderness.’ Sadly as a result of all those people who either witnessed or took part in the sadistic games with me as the prize, but yet not one ever found me worthy to acknowledge as a human being; it is these types of actions which led me to believe this was my life. This is was what I deserved, and I should never think that I deserve anything better. It is all of this that left me living in a victim state of mind. I was everyone’s perfect victim and completely submissive for any person who showed me a hint of kindness. I just wanted to be loved, to be safe, and I would give anything of myself to not have someone hurt me, even to the point of regulating my breathing so as not to give cause for another attack.

I know many exactly like me and I hope you have taught the children you know the true power of their voice and our professionals need to know how monsters like this make it their mission to silence their victims. As ridiculous as it may sound, my stepfather still has me terrified of my afterlife; afraid that I might have to endure him all over again. This is a real fear for me. This is how evil and how horrific his actions were and not a single person in the middle of that town would ever want to hear my voice, my plea for mercy, my begging my mother’s help, my prayers for God to take me away.

Readers, I hope as you’ve read this it made some sense and that you will watch the children in your circle of life and family. I assure you, I am not the only survivor of such atrocities. I assure you, evil like this is happening in the smallest of communities across the country. As many advocates I work and share with have found, more cases of parental child sex trafficking & web-based exploitation of their children is happening in small communities across the country. The internet has a lot of great uses, but the deviate mind who wants to make money; they find that charging people to watch them molest, traffick and exploit their children is sadly more than our services can possibly take down. All of us within a community need to be aware of the children in our neighborhood. Do they seem like good kids? Are their people coming and going at all hours? Is there a lot of adult men and strangers coming to the house? Our educators can help by watching how the child’s school work is completed, are they up to date, interact in class, have reasonable social skills with others, are they reasonably clean and well cared for?

Our health care professionals & law enforcement are the frontline for their safety. You need to know how dark it can become and exactly what adults will go through to silence a child for what can turn into decades of their life, remember the fear and silence has to outlast any statute of limitations so that the predator is never held accountable or prosecuted for their harm done. We should never tell ANY victim to be quiet, ‘tone it back’, ‘get over it’. They may want to have us ease our stories, but for this victim who has worked so hard to become victorious and put every ounce of devotion possible into helping make sure we are able to help others trapped today, the frontline defenders will not tell this victim; ‘it just doesn’t matter’.

To me this reprehensible, and it feels a lot like the weapon and slap used to silence me a long time ago.

Empower every person to know their Civil Rights to life, liberty, and security of their person. They deserve a SAFE life, and no one has the right to inflict harm or sexual contact, unless they are consenting and accepting adults. No one has a right to inflict harm like this on a child who cannot speak up, cannot refuse, cannot fight back, cannot run away, and cannot escape the day to day torment & torture by the one who has control over their very existence. You can help us educate our frontline defenders by supporting our petition – ‘Family Terrorist Act – https://www.change.org/p/mr-president-please-enforce-the-right-to-be-safe-for-all-persons-especially-our-children-enforce-family-terrorist-act-trecia-s-law

Thanks for reading, have a wonderful day

Empower every person to believe they absolutely matter!!!

Patricia McKnight

copyright @ www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

Author; ‘My Justice’

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America our families matter and so does the future for our children…..Support the ‘Family Terrorist Act–Trecia’s Law’

 

Morning America. …I’m asking the ‪#‎advocates‬, ‪#‎ChildrensRights‬, ‪#‎HumanRights‬, ‪#‎DomesticViolence‬, ‪#‎MentalHealth‬ , ‪#‎Victims‬, family friends, community members, education & law enforcement, healthcare providers, even our #Entertainment Professionals….PLEASE SIGN & SHARE

If I’ve ever needed you to help me at all, I most certainly need you now. With your support we can change the future for our children, give families much needed resources & support, help victims receive justice, and hold these types of offenders accountable for their choice to attack & terrorize persons they are supposed to love & protect. We need a huge #media blast and I don’t really have the skills to put that together. Friends give me your support for this measure today!!

Let’s let our human history be our teacher and give our families the safety, protection, justice and appropriate services many of them are trying to cope with today; trying to survive with their personal attacker just one more day, hoping someone will care enough to hear their silent screams. They cannot take the chance of speaking out because if they are not assisted and their monster finds out, they will certainly have a huge price to pay.

Every survivor can tell you about the different levels of abuse inside the family. Some are ugly acts but are not overwhelmingly controlling through threats with weapons or other types of extreme fear or even imposed risk of severe bodily harm. However there are many homes who live every day in this type of constant extreme fear. This is the definition of what our ‪#‎government‬ refers to as ‪#‎Terrorism‬. Why do none of our prosecuting systems and recovery for mental health & physical injuries ever direct this into their special focus? Our society has become trained & numbed about some of these vicious attacks within our home. We do not like to think about a parent using their child in such evil ways or harming them in extreme violent acts. I get that, but we cannot deny what has been proven in many studies shared by the National Institute of Health, National Institute of Mental Health, the Centers for Disease and Control, even in the voices of many thousands of survivors today. We are finally beginning to hear stories of brutal acts throughout an entire generation of pain filled lives because so many of us looked away and did nothing to enforce our #Politicians, #Elected Officials to hold these crimes intolerable.

We can put to use, in a more focused manner, the $135 Billion a year our country is already paying out to help in providing education, prevention, and awareness, medical & legal support, for victims of Child Abuse or Domestic Violence; using it in better more focused way so that all persons involved  receive the needed skills to heal & live their life without FEAR being the one dominating scar.

These specific types of offenders often have either been victims themselves or they may have gone through some type of trauma related issue that caused this type of behavior in them. Regardless of that harm done however, behaving towards others in this type of manner is a choice. They need to feel powerful over the weaker ones around them. They make this personal decision to strike out at those they love most, yet because of their need to feed off of your intense FEAR, their attacks are most often quite brutal, sadistic, and they find enjoyment in trapping the entire family in this circle of their own power. It does not excuse the behavior and it does not make them any less responsible. The direct victims of these types of abusers deserve to be given justice for the manner of crimes committed against them.

Remember, if it were a stranger halfway around the world who committed these acts we wouldn’t think twice about putting a law in place to hold them accountable in our courts. However, when it is a family member whom you live with day in and day out, the one you depend on for your very survival, the one who may torture you for years, decades and into your future as they manipulate and accuse you as other family stands behind them. It seems no one holds them accountable and society often blames victims for being weak and living a life filled with self destructive choices.

No; we cannot let this be the life we give our children. Please help this legislation be put into action. With your name on this petition we have an opportunity to change the human past and allow it to be guide for a brighter future. You can change our world and by helping end the ‘Family Terrorist’ , help open the door for the trapped victims, allowing prosecution, restitution & assistance for the many resources they are going to need in rebuilding their lives for a more positive outcome and a possible chance at ending this cycle in their family for good.

This important piece of legislation is to be used in the prosecution for the extreme cases, those of child trafficking & terror so brutal it scars their soul, this is when it counts the most and how it will better help our society to differentiate between the words Child Abuse as a one all type of crime and this type of terroristic abuse which is truly haunting and monstrous. Yes, ‪#‎FAMILYTERRORISTACT‬, is truly the way to separate the deep levels of harm that bleeds into the lives of all those who come in contact with this vicious person. By seeing these more impacting layers of harm, then providing the much needed early intervention; we can provide the necessary support, rescue, and rebuilding necessary. You can help make a difference with a click of your mouse today.

Please help me give Illinois General Assembly Member, House Representative Jay Hoffman at least  ‪#‎FIVEHundredSignatures‬ for ‪#‎TreciaLaw‬! !! Thank you.

Please sign here & pass it on with your own special words of support – https://www.change.org/p/u-s-house-of-representatives-family-terrorist-act-trecia-s-law-the-enforced-terror-prevents-victims-from-seeking-assistance

Friends I am begging for your support on this change in how we not only prosecute but also provide healing for the entire family. I’m begging you not to turn away ever again. Hold these types of dominating monsters accountable for the harm & lifetime recovery. Not one single person has the right to take away your given right to live safe!! Do not allow these monsters to dominate through actions of extreme harm & fear any longer.

Thank you,

Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight

Advocate/Author/Speaker

Owner; Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Creator: ‘Steps to Recovery’

Cert. Human Trafficking 101 Trainer

Il. DV Advocate Assistant

Panel Speaker St. Clair County Domestic Violence Offender Reform Program

Talk Radio Producer & Host

www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio

Author: ‘My Justice’   MyJustice

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Do We Really Understand What This Means????

 

 This is a picture of me as a child when the abuse from the man who became my stepfather first occurred. Do you see the innocence shared in this child’s face? Do you see the sparkling young girl who is waiting to bloom? This child died!!!!

In the very midst of the Sandusky Trial, I have to wonder if we really appreciate what this means? This is a Voice Awakening Event for all who are survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. This trial will represent what our future in the battle to end this abuse will be. We can now step forward without shame or fear and speak out about the abuses we have endured.

There are literally millions of us walking about in this world each day. We carry these deep dark secrets of our past, hoping that no one sees what disgusting acts we have had to commit and accept in order to get through our days. We were children who wanted to run and play with our friends. We tried to do our homework and pay attention in our classes. We cried in silence as the evil acts destroyed our souls.

This is the time that I am asking all survivors of abuse to pull together on the internet and within our own community; this is the time to speak about the secrets we have kept. Remember that these are not good secrets!!! These are black ugly secrets that have trapped us in a world separate from our true happiness. You can now face yourself in the mirror and utter the voice of your child.

I am at a new place in my life now after sharing my voice to help support and empower other survivors of abuse, both child abuse & domestic violence. I lived that ugly life of a continued acceptance of the cruelty that was taught to me as a child. I have made the mistakes of a woman and mother in this continued pattern of life. It is the deep dark secrets that move forward with us and will sneak out at times to effect and destroy all that is good in our world. Since I published my own true horror story of a lifetime spent in abuse, have learned the power of releasing these secrets.

My life has been renewed in many ways. First and foremost is the repair of the relationship between myself and my children. My eyes now can see the wonderful blessings I have been given and appreciate the peace that continues to grow within. I encourage all survivors of abuse to please now take this opportunity. You do not have to go public with your ugly secrets. You only have to admit them to yourself. You only have to look in the mirror and finally say, “I was sexually abused as a child.” That is the most powerful beginning one can offer you. This trial will give many the courage to speak out publicly, but most important is simply admitting it to yourself. Embrace the child that still lives within and holds these secrets with her mouth held tight. Allow this child to finally breathe and give her the voice that was taken.

You are a beautiful rose waiting to bloom. Take this amazing chance and comfort that child within. Let her see the love & safety around her. Let her see where her life is at now and where it can go in the future. Be empowered and encouraged to join with other survivors and take a stand to protect the children of our next generation. Be part of this wonderful journey.

I beg you to please share this blog with others. Please let everyone know that this is our chance to speak without shame or blame; to finally remove the stain of silence that has been forced upon us. Join me and encourage those around you to give voice to these ugly vicious crimes; the crimes that destroy not only your life, but also affect the live’s of our children and grandchildren.

We all deserve to have roses in our garden of life. Please do not keep these secrets of silent destruction. Share them as we support all who come forward. Justice is a voice we all deserve!!!!

Blessings of Love & Light

Patricia A. McKnight

Author/Survivor/Advocate/Support Grp Mngr/BTR Host & Exec. Dirctr.

Find me on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Google+

Check out my other blogs and be sure to take a look at the novel

“My Justice” – Authorhouse.com/Amazon/Barne’s&Noble

Available in Paperback, E-book, Kindle & Nook

June Line Up for Dreamcatchers Blog Talk Radio

Dreamcatchers For Abused Children

Blog Talk Radio

June Guests & Special Shows

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dreamcatchers/2012/06/07/child-abuse-and-survival-education-with-patricia-mcknight

Please join with me and the amazing team at Dreamcatchers as we welcome this month’s wonderful guests. There are just a couple that we are welcoming back who we had problems with their previous broadcast or there was more to their story. I hope that all of you will join in the shows, grab the knowledge and empowerment from our guests, then pass this forward to share with others. Our programs always depend on your involvement and your voice. Please call in to (9178)932-1132 to speak with me live and watch for those Facebook Event Invitations that I send to each on my friends list.

Here’s Our Line Up!!!

Wednesday, June 6th – Survivor/Author/Advocate  

 Mr. Jan L. Frayne – Sharing his amazing story of survival from child abuse “Beyond Survivor – Rising Out of the Ashes of Childhood Abuse”

Thursday, June 7th –  Author/Advocate/Blog Talk Host

Ms. Julie Federico w/ her two wonderful children’s books

“Some Parts are not for Sharing” & “Anger is Ok – Violence is Not”

********************

June 10th thru the 16th – I will be out-of-town, not broadcasting. Still pending as to whether we will have another host step in to share with you.

********************

Monday, June 18th – Forensic Nurse Exmnr, Ms. Charla Jamerson

joining to talk about the expectations for a victim of Sexual Assault.

Wednesday, June 20 – Award Winning Free Lance Author/Editor –

 Ms. Paula Felps – Also a Sexual Abuse Survivor w/ her organization Sexual Abuse Resource Network

Thursday, June 21st – Survivor/Author/Advocate Ms. Angelica Harris

Ms. Harris is a return guest to complete her very powerful story that is now a memoir to her survival through abuse & domestic violence.

Wednesday, June 27 – Survivor/Artist – Ms. MaryAnn Gougler

Ms. Gougler will be sharing her story and the power of healing through art therapy.

Thursday, June 28 – Ms. Mandy Troutan

Survivor/Author comes to join us; sharing the release of her new novel; “Maybe Today”.

All of the specifics on each guest and our discussions will be shared on the Facebook Event Invitations. Please join in for the wonderful information these guests have to share. I am honored to host this awesome line up of Survivors/Authors/Advocates/Artist who will share their knowledge and survival with you. You too deserve to be the blooming beautiful rose as intended. Remember child abuse changes the person we were meant to be so that we can survive, but in healing we learn to put the pieces of our soul back together and grow in the light to lead others.

Thank you for viewing & sharing this announcement!!!

Find me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

Twitter: @triciagirl62

LinkedIn – Tricia McKnight

Please view our Calendar of Upcoming Events for more Dreamcatchers for Abused Children Events & Activities!!!

Patricia A. McKnight

Exec. Director & Host

Survivor/Author/Advocate

Dreamcatchers for Abused Children

Mark A. Palmer & Jessica’s Law Now on the BTR!!

 

Dreamcatchers for Abused Children

Blog Talk Radio

Welcomes Tonight

Mark A. Palmer

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dreamcatchers/2012/05/08/child-abuse-and-survival-education-with-patricia-mcknight

 Tonight on our Blog Talk Radio, Host & Exec. Director, Tricia McKnight welcomes a man who fights endlessly to help locate and find our missing children. Please join us as we share a great discussion with Mr. Mark A. Palmer!!

Mark is a tireless advocate who strives above and beyond to locate our missing children. Having worked hard to enact some version of Jessica’s Law into 44 states. He and his organization have worked in over 500 cases of missing children and make it their mission to fight for tougher laws. The importance of creating laws across our nation to protect our children from the many pedophiles, monsters & murderers is very crucial. Please join in as we share all that Mark and the Jessica’s Law Now organization is doing to ensure just that.

Our blog talk program this evening is very important for all to get involved. We will be sharing not only about Jessica’s Law but also about some of the missing children that this organization is working at locating now, including Isabel Celis. If you recall there has been a lot of posts concerning this little girl’s disappearance. This beautiful little 6-year-old was stolen in the middle of the night while her family slept. Some 17 Sex Offenders that lived close by have already been interviewed and cleared. Where is this child and the many millions more who are missing? How can we help ensure that Amber Alerts are passed immediately for ALL MISSING CHILDREN???

Join in at 9pm e.s.t. tonight as we talk about these subjects with Mark. We encourage you to invite your family and friends to get involved. It is important that we reach out to all of society when we are discussing the protection of our children. Remember our phone lines will be open, which you can call in to share or listen by calling (917)932-1132.

***Mark will not be taking any calls related to specific cases of missing children tonight. This is a time to update everyone on the continued efforts of this organization to enact Jessica’s Law Now & Amber Alerts. We will be discussing a few of the major cases of missing children that they are working on at this time. You must contact your local law enforcement agency to report a missing child or question a specific case.***

Here are a few sites where you can find out more about our guest:

Facebook for Mark A. Palmer: https://www.facebook.com/mpalmer7

Jessica’s Law Now Blog: http://jessicaslawnow.wordpress.com/

Center for Missing & Exploited Children: http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PublicHomeServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US&