Shocking, disturbing, unbelievable, horrific, but brutally honest….

‘My Justice’  mj-2_thumb

Patricia A McKnight  cropped-bnd11.jpg

“When we dismiss a Family Offender, especially if the outburst becomes grievous or terrorizing; who will teach our children there is help? What path of life will they believe they deserve? Will they grow knowing only to harm their family or will they always allow someone to terrorize them?

Their life path could be drugs, violent outbursts, criminal behavior, maybe gangs and murder; perhaps they will endure silent suffering in extreme depression, or other form of mental illness….This survivor is not trying to take the stage, she is trying to give the stage to the severity of our community violence and sadly how our refusal to address this issue continues teaching silence, tolerance, and acceptance of what’s inside their worst nightmare everyday.

This survivor is using her terrifying life; the enslaved battered child who was shared and traded, used and abandoned, attempted suicide, and continued tolerance of almost murderous attacks, including weapons constantly threatening her daily survival. ‘Trecia Ann’ hopes she can encourage the lost, broken, wounded parents and grandparents today. Let’s open the door, address the inner suffering and become a positive force in your child’s life. They will live in manners taught through our parenting, and leave your home with the life skills you have ingrained; what will be their perceptions of life?

Remember the silence and disregard of the abuses around us, creates what can become the most dangerous crimes in our communities.

‘Yes, I come from a different generation and since that time, throughout the 1970’s, 1980’s, 1990’s we have learned a lot about the detrimental impact to our human psyche when we are violated and harmed. However, these same studies & statistics show these types of destructive crimes are still happening inside many neighborhoods, apartment buildings, and in our families across the nation. This is what has become a heart wrenching process in trying to bring this topic to the forefront of our legislative leaders, social services, all medical professionals, educators, and law enforcement today.’

Author/Advocate/Mentor/Survivor, Ms. McKnight, shares her life & focused research in this two part interview with Producer Rebecca Kimbel.

In the first interview McKnight shares some of her personal journey growing up inside a house of hell, while an entire community and school system watched as she was traded, shared, exploited and brutally attacked inside her home. In part two you will hear about how early onset PTSD could possibly be misdiagnosed as ADHD. You will hear about her partners who are strong resources of their own; they are finding victims being trafficked/shared by family, beaten and abandoned as she was back then. You will hear about the legislation proposal currently being reviewed by Illinois leaders, hoping to update Prosecution & Statutes when dealing with Family Offenders.

Her story is one which most readers, even survivors, are shocked in disbelief that a mother or a community could be so uncaring about a child. However, the scars that cover her body, the mouth filled with broken (half repaired) teeth, and the ten years in trauma recovery therapy are most definitely proof of just how extreme it actually was for her. Her stepfather was feared by all. Her mother played the perfect impression of his victim. Her siblings were not like her in anyway.

Tragically for this little girl, she was given to her stepfather like property by a narcissistic mother who forced the child into constant family servitude actually purchased a little brass bell for her husband which only ‘Trecia Ann’ was expected to answer. She scrubbed the corners of their family home with a toothbrush every weekend, but she was never given one to brush her teeth or permitted safe time for any personal care or hygiene. She was neglected of all basic human needs, including the most basic need; the crying child begging for her mother’s love and protection.

Please read her story, the first five chapters free, “My Justice’ on Authorhouse.com

ONE OF THE MOST GRIEVOUS CASES OF CHILD MALTREATMENT & DOMESTIC VIOLENCE  however our statutes will never give her justice…..

Some material may be graphic, please watch at your own risk and interest……

PART 1 – https://youtu.be/yqQ7e2564yU

PART 2 – https://youtu.be/QaexoCNqhcM

Here is a PETITION on CHANGE –

Mandatory Federal Prosecution for repeated grievous or sexual harm against a child 0 to 15 years old……. MAKE OUR LEGISLATORS ADDRESS THIS TOPIC NOW!!!

OneChild

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/voicesinjusticeradio

Please read her story, the first five chapters free, “My Justice’ on Authorhouse.com/Amazon & Barne’s Nobel. Watch the two new personal discussions via Youtube, or join in an upcoming event to hear her speak about the trauma that can exist within our homes.

Connect with Trish McKnight @ Facebook.com/triciagirl62 or email direct: p.mcknight@charter.net

Most grievous cases of child abuse on record

In researching information on ‘The most grievous cases of child abuse on record’, I want to share with you some of these highlights. These are not just cases in America, they stretch around the world. These are five of the worst cases that pop up in my Google search result. In reading these, definitely horrific cases, I’m not certain if these are the worst, as I can think of persons spoken with at 40 survivors (some 10/12 men, some 20/25 women, about 4 teens) who made it through years of heinous sexual and ‘terroristic physical trauma’. I invite anyone who wishes to share their story to comment here. If you don’t wish others to know, create a fake identity and share your story so others know that your voice is one of the millions silenced every year.

Sadly the details of grievous violent & sexual harms to children are rarely reported until it results in death of the child. More common than not, is a circle of community, educators, family friends, neighbors, schoolmates – but no one reports because they’re just not certain it actually concerns them at all.

Before these cases make our media headlines, someone has to be taken to court and forced to take accountability either in Criminal or Civil Liabilities. This means that someone has to be affected enough to consider these cases the most dismissed, the most brutal, the absolute worst cases in our history. What is worst of all, the type of punishment given to the offender, Family Offender; earlier history lesser punishments but gets slightly more equal to their crime as we try to address these heinous cruelties which are dismissed by many then tragically end in death for the child…..As of this date the years of physical & sexual attacks against our children are RARELY punished at all, and most are given mild sentencing compared to the lifetime altering trauma of their victims.

Here’s a few for you to review…..Links attached to resource information

Mekhi Boone – March 13, 2013 – ‘Not a 2 inch area of his body that wasn’t bruised’

Reports first began against child’s mother July 2009

Father – Had long history of Domestic Battery Offenses against mother and Mekhi

Paternal Grandmother – Nov 2012

Father – Given custody, after being recorded as ‘Not a candidate for custody’ in 2011

As this shares – No one in the State DCF/TFI visited to check on him after Jan 2013

‘Beat to death’ March 13, 2013 – lasting wounds, each in different stages of healing, some new’

No one, either from TFI or DCF, visited Mekhi after Jan. 13, 2013, the lawsuit says.

The worst ever seen

After a little less than two months without any contact from the state or TFI, Mekhi’s situation changed suddenly.

Davis brought Mekhi to the Hiawatha hospital on March 3, 2013. Mekhi was unresponsive. Davis said the child had fallen down 30 stairs.

According to the lawsuit, Davis spoke of behavior problems with the boy. Hospital staff who removed Mekhi’s clothing saw bruising and abrasions all over his body in various stages of healing.

Mekhi had multiple injuries, including internal bleeding and bleeding on the brain. He was taken by helicopter to Children’s Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, Mo.

At Children’s Mercy, doctors diagnosed Mekhi with severe traumatic brain injury secondary to child abuse, a skull fracture, mid-line shift of the brain and multiple bruises. The diagnosis didn’t match the explanation Davis had provided.

“Children’s Mercy personnel including a medical doctor who had observed approximately 15,000 victims of child abuse, described (Mekhi’s) injuries as the worst ever seen for a child that age, and that there was not two inches of (Mekhi’s) body that did not have bruising on it,” the lawsuit reads.

On March 4, Petry — the DCF worker who had told TFI in July 2012 that Davis wasn’t a placement option — visited Mekhi in the hospital. She wrote in her case activity log that Mekhi had been “beat to death.” She noted Mekhi showed signs of sexual abuse as well.

Sexual abuse of children and teens by Priests of the Roman Catholic Church 2008

As many as 800 victims have filed charges, one Priest “O’Grady”; more than 200 victims throughout his years in the church.

O’Grady, having served half of a 14-year prison sentence, is now living in his native Ireland after being deported from the US in 2000.

Carnation couple charged in “worst case” child abuse of teen daughter – 

Prosecutors said the couple were investigated by Child Protective Services in 2005 when the girl reported being locked in her room for extended periods of time. The CPS investigation concluded that the allegations were founded after Long admitted to locking the girl in her room, but the case was not referred for criminal prosecution, prosecutors said.

According to police, the girl said her stepmother disciplined her by “restricting her water intake” to about half of a small Dixie cup per day.

The girl and her brother “were forced to sleep on the floor in the same room as their parents, and a heavy dresser was pushed in front of the door to keep her from sneaking out and getting water.”

That happened after the girl was caught one night sneaking out of her own room to drink water from the toilet, according to police. She told police she feared her stepmother would hear the faucets if she used them. For food, police said, she was mostly given toast.

The stepmother, who did not work outside the home and claimed to be home-schooling the children, also directly monitored her stepdaughter’s showers and bathroom habits “to keep her from surreptitiously drinking water,” police said. Showers were restricted to every two or three weeks.

The girl told police that her stepmother once duct-taped her hands behind her back and dunked her head in the toilet to discipline her.

If convicted of first- and second-degree criminal mistreatment as charged, Pomeroy and Long could face three and four years in prison, according to King County prosecutor spokesman Dan Donohoe.

""

Women to be released after committing the worst case of child abuse in history.

Over the last fifteen years I have followed story after story of abused children. However, the case of Baby Briana has resonated in my mind from the first day I saw it ten years ago. Autopsy results showed Brianna Mariah Lopez, 5-months, 5-days old, died from cranial cerebral injuries. She had bruising and scraping injuries throughout her head, as well as on her upper forehead.
Baby-Briana’s died on July 19, 2002 in Las Crucens, New Mexico. She was only five months old when she was pronounced dead in the Memorial Medical Center emergency room at 11:10 am. The reasons of her death, child abuse.
Brianna had 13 human bite marks all over her body and head. There were extensive injuries to her head and fatal injuries to her brain. She had bleeding in the brain as well as around the nerves of her eyes. Her skull was fractured in two places, there were two rib fractures, two more on the thigh bones of each of her legs, and a fracture to her left arm. She had also been raped by the ones who were supposed to take care of her, her father and uncle.
Brianna was a victim of child abuse, considered by many people as perhaps the worst case in New Mexico history. Her parents, Stephanie Lopez and Andy Walters, and an uncle, Steven Lopez were convicted and are in prison.
The abuse started almost immediately. Instead of hugs and kisses Brianna received slaps and pinches. She was tormented on a daily basis, both verbally and physically. Slapped, kicked, punched, pinched, thrown, raped, etc. You name it this infant endured it.

‘Illinois Miracle’ Disputed After Child-Abuse Cases

During a drug raid on the far South Side on Saturday, the police found a 3-year-old boy chained by the neck to a bed in a foster home where they also found cocaine, cannabis and unregistered firearms. On Friday, responding to a teacher’s aide’s report of child abuse, the police found six youngsters — all former wards of the state — locked in an unheated basement with no food or toilet and only a quilt and a few pillows to cover the concrete floor.

”It’s horrifying when we see a case like that, but that is not typical of foster care in Illinois,” said Martha Allen, chief of staff at the state’s Children and Family Services Department, whose inspector general is investigating the cases. ”Every now and again we have incidents where something bad has happened in a foster home — the answer can’t be, don’t put kids in foster homes anymore.”

Children’s Bureau 2011 – Child Maltreatment in the U.S.

Selected Maltreatment Types of Victims by Age, 2012

Age    Med Nglct   Nglct      Physical      Psych        Sexual = (x6)

<1–2     5,212       157,713         30,689      12,371     1,660 x6 = 9,960

3–5       2,456       111,770          21,327      11,518    8,802 x6 = 52,812

6–8       2,157        88,314          20,883     10,331   10,827 x6 = 64,962

9–11      1,925        68,383          17,619      9,280   11,600 x6 = 69,600

12–14    2,097        58,491          18,308      8,229   16,560 x6 = 99,360

15–17    1,806        44,800         14,887       5,936   13,133 x6 = 78,798

(x6) 1AIn 2012 during the increase measure of concern about sexual assault, Congress released a statement –  ‘For every 1 report of sexual assault that is made, at least 6 others are not’ – This statement was confirmed by Congressman John Shimkus, Sept 03, 2015

According to DHS breakdown of this report into National Children’s Bureau FFY 2011

  • More than 75 percent (78.5%) suffered neglect
  • More than 15 percent ( 17.6%) suffered physical abuse
  • Confirmed reports provide (9.1%) suffered sexual abuse – remember X6 Rule

The National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System (NCANDS) report for FFY 2011 reflects the following breakdown in perpetrators:

A) Parents of child = 80.8%

B) Other Relative    =   5.9%   

C) Parent Partner    =  4.4%

D) Other Known      =  4.5%

**E) Stranger Danger =  2.1%**

Parents, Parental Partner & Other Close Relative = 91.1% of all maltreatment offenses

Female Offenders = 53.6%              Male Offenders = 45.1%

Age vs Offense

Children ages 1-6 are most often victims of physical abuse & neglect. Mothers are most likely to be the offenders

Children ages 6-15 are most often targets of sexual abuse, and sex trafficking. Reports in these files show MALES make up 94% of recorded sexual offenders. However history shows that Mothers are not commonly suspected; in truth many are compliant in sexual harm of their children, which occurs for various reasons.

**MOLESTATION LEAVES NO PHYSICAL SIGNS!! Molestation can occur at any age, even though we never want to consider our partner or a parent (or an older child) of committing such a heinous act. The signs of molestation are simply severe irritation of the genital area, rash around mouth, or other uncommon types of signs. Spotting molestation requires understanding age appropriate behaviors & interactions with others

Illinois Statutes – 

Confirmed Illinois Statutes:  720 ILCS –

* Child Physical Abuse – statute of limitations is only 1 year after 18th bday.

No SOL beyond age 18 for aggravated battery of a minor

* Physical Battery Against a child 13 & under- the crime can only be prosecuted if it is reported within 1-3 years of when the actual crime was committed.

* Sexual Abuse – Aggravated Criminal Sexual Assault (weapon display or threat) & Criminal Sexual Assault with a family member under the age of 18 or a non-family member under 18 in which case it was forced – 20 years after age of 18 is SOL.

* Involuntary Servitude/Sexual Servitude/Trafficking of a family member (720 5/10-9) – SOL 1 year after age of 18 only *** We have a proposal to extend this one. The trafficker can be charged for a sex crime – if they directly had sexual contact with the minor. But, if those who take part in sex acts cannot be found and prosecuted under sexual crimes…the trafficker goes free if we do not catch them within a year of the victim’s 18th birthday.

* Forfeiture Provision – There is some allowance for the abusers assets being taken away in order to care for the child, but no solid provisions.

Discussed with our local U.S. Attorney Office, Fairview Heights, Il – Sept 2015

There is no Federal Legislation in Illinois for grievous, sexual, trafficking/servitude acts against a child unless the victim is able to testify against their perpetrator. Tragically inability to understand, to verbalize in exact explanation to others as required by young victims, inability to feel safe, believing in the fear/threats/terror/torture; a young victim will never tell anyone about their harm.
Permit me to add a personal note here——
For the some 30,000 plus who have apparently either listened to my radio programs or read a previous post, know of a Social Media share about my case – This most recent personal interview with TV Producer/Toastmaster/Host – Ms. Rebecca Kimbel published Feb 1, 2016 – You will see extremely graphic and shocking photos of the scars I still carry physically from what I believe is the most grievous case of Child Destruction in Illinois; perhaps even across the country. As you will hear about some of the violently disturbing acts in Part 1 of this interview, Part 2 discusses PTSD; Community Abandonment; Participators in trafficking & public exploitation; more importantly what YOU need to be looking for in children around you right now.
RebeccaKimbel.com – Youtube Interview via Skype –
Part 1 ‘My Justice’ with Author Patricia McKnight https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqQ7e2564yU
Part 2 Healing from Child Sexual Abuse  https://youtu.be/QaexoCNqhcM
The Centers for Disease and Control estimate 1 in 4 homes dealing with some form of violent or sexual harm. A home inside every neighborhood and a family known by every small community. There are victims adult, teen, and young children in every walk of mankind. It is those who do not comprehend there is help available or that anyone will ever believe their dark statements, these are the WORST CASES OF CHILD ABUSE that will NEVER be known to mankind!!
Thank for reading, hopefully you’ll share….
Bravery, Strength, Courage, Freedom
Patricia A McKnight

A human society creating Victims and Offenders……

Often trying to assist victims of trafficking and other dangerous crimes, we find they don’t always see how serious the harm. For them it is something they just always had to tolerate in order to survive, so as a result by the time they are older teens or adults, they might not even feel it was an actual crime. I know because it happened to me.

The first time he took me out to another location I was about 10 years old and it was a tugboat down around the Baldwin Illinois area. He used to take me with him quite often, something I couldn’t refuse without punishment and something my mother never questioned regardless of what condition I returned home. He picked up a 12pack of Pabst and we took off driving, him feeding me all but three of the beers which he drank. Needless to say I was wasted. I don’t remember everything, but I sadly remember all the hands, the touching, groping, and oral sex I was made to perform on at least one of the men. They lit up a joint and took full advantage of having the intoxicated little girl to play with for their (and his) amusement.

Next it was the bar where my mother worked & all the local coal miners hung out. I was 11 years old when my stepfather involved me in very public exploitative measures so men would buy him beer and he could watch as they all flirted and played with me. He offered the one young man time alone with me outside, thankfully the guy responded ‘She’s just a kid’. However it set off a rage of fury when we immediately left and I was beaten in the car because ‘You’re just too ugly, that’s why nobody wants to be with you.’ My head was bashed against the window a few times, on the dashboard, and his hands clenched around my throat.

Surprisingly my mother came walking up and pulled me out of the car. She didn’t ask why I was crying, or what had happened; she simply hustled me home angry and screaming at me for getting drunk. It was all my fault those men wanted to do things and Malcolm was beating the crap out of me.

This was just the beginning of what would be the next five years of private parties initiated by him with neighborhood boys, schoolmates, and grown men who came to our house on late Friday night. It was all so ‘normal’ for me. It’s what I had been beaten into tolerating and no one was doing anything to stop it. The boys and men always laughed and enjoyed it, my mother stayed in her bedroom and watched tv or she took off for the weekend and left me there.

In all honesty, I had never considered myself a ‘trafficked child’. I didn’t understand how everything that happened and all the ways that I was used, manipulated, and forced into these situations created such a mess and it trained my behavior to be exactly what he wanted; his own personal little prostitute. Sadly by the time I was around 13, that is exactly what the community talked about when they saw me.
How in the world was I supposed to understand exactly how wrong it was when no one was doing anything about it?

The community members whispered about it and how I messed around with their husbands, boyfriends, and sons. They whispered about the filth that covered my body, the body odor, the infected sores, and how I rarely ever had time allowed out of the house because there was always something I had to take care of, or there might be something or someone who needed me to do something. I was the girl their daughters could not hang out with and the girl their sons were never allowed to date. I’ll never forget how it felt growing up in the center of that small Illinois town while neighbors, family friends, teachers, and classmates all made fun of me and shamed me, but not a single person ever tried to help me. In the end the only way I knew how to get through a day without being beaten was to do whatever was ordered, whenever it was ordered, and with whomever was next in line.

It wasn’t until after I started really focusing on coping through my Complex PTSD, and the debilitating injuries from all the physical trauma which existed for some 20 years in my adult relationships. I couldn’t figure out what it was about me, why did all of this stuff happen and why didn’t anyone seem to care? This is when I began writing ‘My Justice’; hoping to put all my pieces back together and help my kids understand that their screwed up ideas about relationships had resulted from how I had been so well trained to tolerate extreme harm and never believe that I deserved anything different. I was almost 50 years old before I was able to connect the dots of trauma, to my lasting wounds today. It was after the book was published and I took a training seminar on trafficking before I realized ‘OMG, that was me’.

Helping victims of Family Crimes, whether it be extreme physical violence, sexual harm, or perhaps even trafficking; these persons do not always understand that they were victims at all. To them, to me, it was just survival. I had to do whatever was demanded and I developed survival coping skills in that horror. This is what happens when we dismiss the possibility or even witnessed exploitation or direct harm of a child.

In trying to help someone cope today, we must have compassion for the emotional instability, remember they are just beginning to realize exactly how much evil they had to endure just to survive. Almost all of the adult & teen prostitutes today, first became victims as a young child. To them their body is nothing more than a sexual object, one built to satisfy others and to endure whatever they might inflict.

Helping victims of Family Related Offenders is a difficult situation because we teach them quite young to be quiet, stop crying about it, it’s nothing, it’s because you did something, it’s because we need the financial help, it’s because we need a roof over our head, it’s your burden to carry those very ugly secrets and never tell anyone about what happens here.

How many more victims of trafficking, grievous injury, emotional trauma, and lasting mental health challenges will our human society continue to raise as we turn our backs and pretend nothing happened, or convince ourselves that it’s not our problem. If you know about a family or person in harm’s way, then it just became your problem. If you don’t get that person help, who will? It’s time to stop raising Victims & Offenders, it’s time to initiate intervention and community involvement to stop ALL crime, even the generational teaching of tolerance about crime inside our family.

Keep in mind that it’s not just the children who are forced or manipulated into multiple sexual interactions or forced to stay quiet as they are beaten beyond recognition. These actions against persons inside our homes affects all races, genders, and most importantly ALL AGES. There are no boundaries when it comes to inflicting harm on those who do not understand or are not able to defend themselves.

We must defend a persons right to be protected regardless of who they are or where they live. Home doesn’t have to be perfect, but it absolutely must be SAFE. To provide any change is going to take a strong united human effort. Ending the harm inside our families, means that we give our children a better, safer world to flourish in their dreams and achievements. Teaching that all beings deserve safety, that we have worldwide laws & constitutional laws defending our right to be safe. This should be taught in every basic history class across the country.

Give a child the gift of freedom without the fear of grievous harm, especially inside their home.
Using information & resources shared on www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery is just one possible source of help. There are resources around the world to aid in this recovery process and life skills development for healthy parenting. If you or someone you know is in distress or being harmed, please research available resources in your area.

 

Thanks & be a blessing to those in your life’s path

Trish McKnight

Author: ‘My Justice’

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Network

Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Specialist

Family Violence Speaker & Educator

Family Crimes and Terroristic Abuse Act – ‘Trecia’s Law’

Voices InJustice – Teen Pregnancy, becoming young parents or playing house 09/13 by Voices InJustice Radio | Current Events Podcasts

-Voices InJustice with host Trish McKnight; Sept 13th @ 6pm eastern/5pm central/3pm pacific time. Join me for another great broadcast discussion brought to you by, Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery community outr

Source: Voices InJustice – Teen Pregnancy, becoming young parents or playing house 09/13 by Voices InJustice Radio | Current Events Podcasts

Is there a connection to the harm of Family Crimes and early teen pregnancy? Are there racial difference is the rates of teen pregnancy? This and more today on our Voices InJustice Radio

Voices InJustice Radio – School is back in session – Education in America 08/16 by Voices InJustice Radio | Current Events Podcasts

Voices InJustice Radio – School is back in session – Education in America 08/16 by Voices InJustice Radio | Current Events Podcasts.

Set your reminder friends, TEACHERS, PARENTS & TEENS – You’re invited to join in as we open the discussion about our American Educational System!! What are your concerns as kids return to school? Are their Racial Issues; Low Income Meals; After School Activities; Are kids getting a positive learning environment with the support from teachers & school officials? Do you worry about teachers possibly harming or sexually approaching your child? Would they tell you if it happened? School Violence is on the increase and today’s children deal with constant harassment, bullying, and online condemnation everyday. Their struggles today are unlike any other generation, are you prepared and do you have a relationship which encourages your child or teen to openly discuss their challenges? JoinPatricia A. Mcknight live Sunday evening at 9pm central time for your Voices InJustice discussing our American School Systems. Don’t forget to invite your friends & family to call in live or join the chatroom discussion. There’s a lot we need to address to ensure ALL CHILDREN & FAMILIES are given the open support they deserve to protect our children’s education. Looking forward to hearing music by Marc Joseph Ludeman!!!

Won’t you be sure to join us??

My Justice – Patricia A. McKnight : AuthorHouse

My Justice – Patricia A. McKnight : AuthorHouse.

Get your copy of ‪#‎MyJustice‬ thru most online resources. Your story may not be the one to make it big, but consider why your writing it in the first place. I’m amazed at the hundreds who have changed their lives, found courage to seek help and speak up. This true horrible story sadly still impacts my grandchildren’s lives. It’s not about making it big, it’s about making it end!

Honestly I’m quite stunned by the way this story has made it so far. College courses, outstanding five star reviews, and absolutely incredible press articles shared across the country. From New York to Australia, to the U.K. and in the San Francisco Journal. Even more important for me are all those persons who read this and then passed it on to someone still lost in the pain and silence. Find your voice, share your story, it will touch someone’s heart somewhere. xoxoxo Trish

What will you gain from reading ‘My Justice’?

 

MyJustice         ‘My Justice’ by     biopic3

                   Patricia A. McKnight

 

Many people have told me how ‘My Justice’ has influenced their lives in a powerful way.  Sadly, I’ve also been told how my ‘victim’ story is way too graphic and is not suitable for public knowledge.

‘You really should tame it back Trish, it’s just too much in your face and our attendees just are not very receptive. Perhaps if you turned it back a notch or so.’

I’d like to take a few moments to help people out in making the decision to read ‘My Justice’ or hear ‘My Story’.

First off, let me say, this is an extremely violent true account of, not only the twelve long years of ‘terroristic’ child molestation, rape, exploitation, sex trafficking, family servitude, and physically disfiguring neglect, but also how having to endure through all of these pains affected my adult life, adult relationships, marriages, sense of self worth, and most importantly my parenting and independent skills in supporting a family. As you read the chapters, going from one traumatic ugly event to another, you are engaged in the accounts from the child, woman, wife, mother, and then the survivor whose only mission is to be a good person and find a sincere, safe, true love.

  • This book is NOT intended for any reader under the age of fourteen
  • This book is highly recommended for victims of similar types of childhood or adult personal violations and harm.
  • ‘My Justice’ is extremely useful in educating yourself and persons within law enforcement, healthcare, psychology, and family service providers.
  • ‘My Justice’ is a walk through a victim’s life in a home with a dominating forceful personality who engrained a sense of fear so intense, she lived day after day, year after year, in a constant threat of attack. You will see how this type of environment impacted her entire life, her decisions, behaviors, parenting, and how she was trained to be a sexualized, submissive personality with absolutely no other spark of identity within.

‘My Justice’ is a personal journey written first with only the intent to get it all out of my body. The memories were flooding my soul at that time, triggered by my mother’s heart attack and illness. Yes, it had always eaten away at me, how could so many people who interacted throughout so many years of my life, how could they have abandoned me to be so completely destroyed. I really had no idea who I was supposed to be. The second purpose was to explain to my children how it all had played out and affected their lives. I needed them to forgive my lack in skills, see how important they really were to me, and somehow use the knowledge I was beginning to finally understand myself; use what I’d written and studied in my own life changing path so that they could change how things were in their lives. Seeing how Bink reacted as he read through his true love’s life long pattern of pain was like a spark that perhaps I did matter, perhaps my secrets mattered, perhaps my horrific life could help someone else figure out how to change what had been done to them.

I found out just how many adult survivors of these types of childhoods were in our society. Everyone of us felt isolated in our pain, trapped by the expected behaviors & achievements of our society and unable to openly speak about these horrors. In the centuries before the internet, there may have been one or two who felt safe enough to reveal the truth, but most were living life ashamed of what happened and afraid of being ostracized for being that once silent, trapped, manipulated and controlled, terrorized victim. We were living our lives weighed down by all of the disgusting, vile, and brutal acts we had no choice but to endure and accept; no matter how often they happened or what we were forced to do. After some serious consideration, with a reluctance as to how it was going to be accepted, I took a chance and self published these nightmares because to me as I wrote out my dark inner self, there was a inner sense of finally taking back my freedom, my own sense of person, and I began to put together the person, with the values, that I wanted to be today. With me, through many who know me, what you see is really what you get. There are no longer any dark secrets looming behind the curtain. I am no longer trapped with his monstrous hand covering my mouth and holding me silent as I lay there trapped in his evil attacks. No longer was my only identity wrapped up in the sexualized, devalued, and stripped raw person my parents created. Publishing ‘My Justice’ was publishing ‘My Freedom’ and in finding my own identity I realized just how important ‘My Justice’ really was and it became my heart’s mission to change the centuries of human silence about this tragic topic.

 So let’s go forward then…..

Who will be helped and how will they be helped in reading this violent journey through my third nervous breakdown as a result of all that had been my life?

Victims & Survivors:

Although you may find this book triggering or upsetting, take a breath, lay it down and come back to it when you’re in a better place or a peaceful mindset. I want to tell you; ‘Your identity, the magic candle that Creator has instilled within every soul; the magic is still very much inside of you, and you hold the only chance at life it really has to shine. It’s tragic these evil actions have ever been committed against you, but if you want to be truly free from the pain, you simply need to be strong enough to let go of the only way of life you’ve ever known. You need to get angry at being someone’s victim all the time, decide for yourself that YOU will never tolerate another act of harm against you again. In reading ‘My Justice’, many have contacted me about how it inspired them to get away from an abuser, begin looking into their past, catching the repeated dysfunctional ways they parent their children. Readers have looked at the choice patterns they’ve made in life and what they believed was safe, tolerable, accepted within a relationship. If you are now or ever were someone’s victim, there is a life altering impact from the trauma which causes a chain reaction in your choices, behaviors, parenting, perceptions of the world as a whole. There is scientific proof of the frontal lobe brain dysfunctions caused by trauma on a child’s developing brain. the impacts alter your sense of safe, not safe, Fight or Flight; even how you develop your independence as a teen or preteen. Remember that regardless of your past or what your parents may have or have not taught you about life, you are the ONLY person who can control your decisions, your actions and your reactions You cannot and should not be trying to control choices and life patterns for someone else. You are the only one that can put forth the effort and determination you will need to change your life, but this book is something that just might help you re-evaluate your behaviors and relationships and at the end you will find a list of Five Positive Insights to help you through those challenging times.

Close Family & Friends of victims/survivors:

If you are a close friend or you love someone who is dealing with these types of harms from their past, perhaps as a child or even in adult or school relationships, there is an emotional distortion in many of the responses and actions you see in that person. You may disagree with all or some of their behaviors and what they do, you may say to yourself, ‘I’m so tired of seeing her fall down in the cracks all the time’. Please understand, especially in cases of a life raised in a violent home or a sexually distorted environment; they cannot help and may not even realize the level of trauma they’ve been through. It may be necessary to provide an intervention in some way, depending on how bad their life is today. They may not realize how it affects their instant responses to things in their life today. Maybe they are loved and have a happy family, however like many other human beings who have endured such atrocities against them, there are changes in their inner self that may not be like your choices, your reactions, your inhibitions. These persons have had everything that was good about them beaten down, degraded, and at its worst completely discarded for any sadness or pain, even intense fear they may have endured. Today we just want to help them know it is safe. Comfort and support them. If they find the courage to share with you, do not be shocked and disgusted. Do not tell them they shouldn’t talk about such things. Instead we need to see how we can help them. If you see them perhaps being too harsh with their children, making rash decisions, or even abusing drugs or alcohol; please offer them a contact of help. Address the issues with them, as hard or challenging as it may be. Let them know you are not judging them, but just want to help provide some light in their life and make things a bit happier for them. Love and comfort them, let them know they can trust you with their pain.

For educators, healthcare, law enforcement, behavioral specialist, and psychology professionals:

The professionals who come in contact with child victims or person’s in a dangerous situation, you are the front line for them. Remember that we teach our children these are ‘SAFE’ persons and that if they are in danger, not being treated nicely, or someone is harming them in some way; you are the strong one who will help them. In reading ‘My Justice’ you will see how the years of heinous neglect/refusal to provide any form of needs or care for the child, resulted in the belief that there was nothing about her worth helping or saving. The educational system where she attended from 3rd to 10th grade, day after day, as the filth and infected sores covered her skin, the black rotten fangs hanging from her mouth, the constant pattern of homework not done, no after school activities, no social interactions with others, nothing but a pattern of sexualized behaviors because in what she was taught; sex and servitude was the only value she had as a human being. Your professional contact in responding to a victim is crucial. How you make them feel that they absolutely deserve someone to hear them, see them, be gentle with them, and help them get to a safe place matters in how their future beliefs and life patterns will be built. When you respond with care, concern, a sense of tenderness; you have the power to change their lives and the dysfunctional self hatred engrained by years of trauma and pain. In law enforcement, when you disregard the child, woman, mother, father, who has been hit, violated, or dominated by a sense of terror; you have also left them believing they are not worth saving. You can learn to evaluate the care of each individual within the home, then determine if there is cause to take the ‘bad’ person away and give them time to find a safe place. Behavioral specialist & Guidance Counselors at school; rather than continuously reprimanding or suggesting medication control of the child who displays disruptive behaviors, always lagging in homework, no interests in activities, poor social skills, perhaps only one or two persons you see them interact with if anyone at all. There is a more simple direct question and a process of building trust, a respectful bond, with the troubled child/person. You can be much more pro-active in assisting/encouraging a change in behavior when you ask; is there something going on, maybe I can help, is there someone at home that has you scared or is preventing you from doing your homework?’ The direct concern of the person’s well being just might save their life. After you read ‘My Justice’ you’ll be more aware of the details, rather than just the trained bullet point behaviors, of someone who just might need your help. As a community responder, someone who interacts with this person on a regular basis, you will see just how your tuned senses learned from the victim’s words of these horrors and be able to more frequently spot a person in need of your professional assistance providing them with a safe place. 

‘My Justice’ has been used in online psychology courses taught by Dr. Brenda Markert-Green. It is also a regularly recommended read from one of Illinois strongest voices in the Illinois Retired Teachers, Coordinator for the Teacher’s Mentoring Program for upcoming educators. This very personal story has been suggested reading by my own therapist for other patients. It’s also been recommended by advocates across the country, in United Kingdom, Australia, and Canada. As a society we have a direct responsibility to be able to maintain safe communities for our children, this includes the homes where our children aren’t allowed to go and the parents we don’t trust around our children. It is what we do as aware protective parents; as a society who wants to help create some type of change in how these past taught and trained behaviors against people within our homes; those we love the most and those who have no choice but to endure, grow up so they can get away themselves; this is where ‘My Justice’ will change your life and you will become more instinctive and responsive to the victims & survivors around us everyday.

As professionals, neighbors, community leaders, church elders, and responders; it is our adult duty to evaluate what lies underneath this misbehaving, lagging, promiscuous child. Be prepared to find out just how bad it can be sometimes inside the homes of those in our community. There are usually signs of a dysfunctional or harmful environment, learn them and use the guide to determine how best to help someone you know.

As you have read here, ‘My Justice’, has already achieved so much more than I ever thought it would and has influenced the lives of tremendous people with the power, knowledge, and ability to make a difference in the lives of those who suffer. We can all do this by simply caring about whether or not someone is safe. Don’t just listen to the fighting and screaming down the hall from the same family night after night. Don’t turn up the tv or close the window, instead open your heart and allow yourself to pick up the phone and report what you see and hear to the front line professionals who are there to help, especially when it is a child who cannot fight back, cannot refuse, and can be easily manipulated into believing all of the pain is really their fault, they just aren’t any good and it doesn’t matter that they are being hurt. Should we ever allow another being to feel this way about themselves when there is a beautiful light inside each of us, which just might one day change the world?

I hope you purchase ‘My Justice’. I hope you recommend others to read this story, share your copy of the book with a friend, list it as recommended reading for college students studying to become a front line defense person for families, victims, and survivors who just might be waiting for someone to help them see that their life, their smile, their safety really does matter.

Thank you for your time here. I appreciate any feedback you want to share. If you’d like to arrange a speaking venue or perhaps need some assistance yourself, or maybe you want to know more about the full list of things you can do to help; please email direct to trish.mcknight@live.com

Be well & keep on dreaming, your butterfly, your freedom, your sense of safety; your inner magic really does matter!!

Patricia McKnight

‘My Justice’ – A true account, chapter after chapter, of the many horrific years endured through evil, sex trafficking, servitude, brutal beatings, and what is no less than torture. Please use personal care when reading, do not stress to rush through but rather take your time and do not allow your past to take away your amazing future.

 

copyright @ Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Sept 2012

 

 

 

 

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