Friends this link will take you to the blogger spot which I fail to use as often as I should, but wanted to share some of those incredible friends I’ve built bonds with in this mission of awareness, education, and vigilance against all forms of abuse. I do hope you’ll check out those listed and see what they are sharing today and tomorrow. Perhaps you’ll follow what they’re doing and make new friends as I have. Perhaps you’ll also check out our radio programming on Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio by visiting http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery – We are NOT JUST ANOTHER ABUSE RADIO PROGRAM!!!With only 70 broadcasts under our belt we have an incredible 22,939 listens to the shows already!!! I’ll be broadcasting every Monday & Wednesday evening and our new host Debra Mize brings her Life in Transformation broadcst of Metamorphosis to the show. We are also looking for a MALE HOST to join our team. If you are interested, please contact me at email@example.com Thank you for supporting our programs and we hope you check out and use the website!!! Remember to hit those share buttons as we all are hoping to rally our voices to end the crimes of abuse and violence, especially those within our homes!!!
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We are a team dedicated to bringing you exciting upbeat conversations and fabulous guests, while we all learn to spread our wings. We all deserve the glory of freedom!!
Live Strong & Fly Free
Ms. Annie O’Sullivan- You’ll be entertained with upbeat conversations, amazing guests and much more EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT @ 9pm e.s.t./8pm c.s.t./7pm m.s.t./6pm p.s.t Annie is bringing her show, titled after her incredible, page turning novel, ‘Can You Hear Me Now’ to our broadcasting team!!! You can catch her program of open discussions about childhood abuse & the trauma we must battle through. This show will surely grab your attention. Annie is an outstanding survivor who knows the broken path we can sometimes walk after a childhood filled with vicious evil. Join in to find out more and get to know the admirable spirit of the Advocate/Author/Speaker/Group Leader/Successful Career/Mother & Grandmother she is today. Be sure to visit Annie’s blog; http://brokenuntilspoken.wordpress.com Check out her story in the novel “Can You Hear Me Now?” – Click here to purchase your copy today!!!
Ms. Lisa Miller-Baldwin – Her special broadcast will be EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT @ 9pm e.s.t./8pm c.s.t/7pm m.s.t./6pm p.s.t.!!! Lisa comes to our team and is also new to the talk radio world. You will be amazed at her talent to both empower and inspire you. Lisa brings to you a show focused on all the issues surrounding the crimes of Domestic/Relationship Violence. Her show ‘My Secret Place’ is about a safe place to talk about the pain and trauma; violation of personal safety, control and degradation that leaves victims having to rebuild who they are and some relocate without family and friends to escape the brutal acts. You will be empowered by her spirit and by the amazing work of this highly devoted Advocate & Founder; Wonderfully Made Foundation, which is dedicated to helping the homeless in our society learn the life skills and seek shelter to get their feet back on the ground. Please join in for her inspiring broadcast and ‘LIKE’ her organization page
Ms. Michal Madison – WEDNESDAY NIGHT @ 9pm est/ 8pm cst/ 7pm mst/ 6pm pst – A fabulous spirit and highly talented watercolor artist, Michal previously broadcasted the ‘Michal Madison Show’. She is now joining our team as she co-hosts with Trish on our Survivors World program!! Michal is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, who also followed the path of dysfunction as her adult relationships swirled into the rage of domestic violence for decades. This program is dedicated to all things survivors, both MALE & FEMALE!!! The broadcast is aimed at providing education, empowerment and encouragement as we share coping skills, life building skills, safety escape strategies and much more. You are invited to call in and share your special path as Michal and Trish open up the phone lines and the chatroom. Survivors World program is based from the original support group founded by Trish back in Nov. 2010 and it has been growing in bonds of friendship and support to help us all know we are not alone and someone will listen to your voice. Be sure to go to the homepage of Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery website and hit the ‘Sign In’ link to request your membership in this growing online support group. We welcome all survivors to our online group and we understand the road you have traveled!!! Check out Michal’s incredibly talented artwork by clicking here, be sure to ‘LIKE’ her page!!
Ms. Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight – Monday evenings at 9pm est / 8pm cst/ 7pm mst/ 6pm pst; you are invited to join Trish for the broadcast of ‘Generation No More’ a project created on Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery website where a forum page is opened to discuss how the behaviors and teachings of generations past have left their mark and are impacting the lives of our grandchildren today. On this program we discuss ALL things related to the abuses and violent behaviors that have not only been passed down and taught for centuries, but also how these traumas have effected our sense of personal safety and influenced the many dysfunctions of our mental health. You will be intrigued by conversations with special guests, advocates, organizations all geared to help end these acts of cruelty. On these broadcasts we bring a wide variety of topics and share from the forum on the main page for Generation No More. Trish is the author of her own true horror story of a life filled with 32 years trapped in the behaviors trained into her as a child, teen, and into her adult years. She has seen how these crimes and their emotional traumas have cycled forward into the lives of her children, which now impact the lives of her grandchildren.
Trish is dedicated to change what has stained her bloodline for decades and has built a website designed to help us all take a different look at these crimes and how they impact society today. Advocate/Author/Speaker/Writer/Founder of Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery and our talk radio programming. Be sure to catch her with Michal Madison on Wednesday evenings as they host ‘Survivors World’. You can find out more by visiting our website. Be sure to check out the highly praised and reviewed novel about Trish’s own true story of hell in the novel ‘My Justice’; available in paperback, e-book, Kindle & Nook, distributed by Authorhouse Publishing. Get the e-book format for just $2.99 by clicking on this hyperlink!!
Remember you were not brought into this world to have your spirit destroyed by the evil of those around you. There is life after abuse and you too can find your path to freedom!!
You deserve a safe place to sleep
You deserve respect
You deserve kindness & support
You deserve as much love as you freely give to others
You deserve roses in your garden of life!!
Together we all learn to spread our wings, climb out of the darkness of our cocoons; soaring high as we – LIVE STRONG & FLY FREE!!
© copyright protected, January 21, 2013
Patricia A. McKnight
Advocate/Author/Speaker/Writer/Talk Radio Prod. & Host/Survivor
Founder/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery
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This post may seem triggering to some, but please read it and pass it forward as someone may find the information to lead to an early rescue for a child!!! Thank You!!
As I’ve shared there are happy memories of my childhood that I like to visit now and again. My dad swinging me in the backyard; playing football with my brother and the other neighborhood boys; catching bumblebees in a jar; watching my dad drag race in that awesome red convertible; my favorite, sleeping snuggled in tight with my grandma that last night I visited with the McKnight family.
These are the moments I reach for when I want to think about the happy times as a child. Like many millions of others, unfortunately these are the ONLY happy childhood memories.
It’s tragic to say that after that cold February night in 1963, just after turning five, the happy memories came to a sudden dead halt. After the first time he touched me, made me gag on his tongue as he kissed me; trapped me on the couch as I waited for Richie’s head to explode when he forced him to stand on his head in the corner, all of it was gone. It simply vanished. The laughter and joy I knew as an innocent child was gone. I didn’t play like a child anymore, although I tried.
This was the moment of death for that little girl, she disappeared, hid away in the dark shadows of corners and the brutal deviant behavior of the “New Dad”, as Mom had introduced him.
When the two of them married just two weeks after that first attack, my smile still showed to the outside world, but inside there was nothing; a hallow shell of a little girl with “Dancing Blue Eyes”. I’ve quoted the title of a poem written by Mary E. Graziano, created along with a fabulous recreation of watercolor art from Michal Madison.
I can remember the changes I felt. The cheerful child was forever gone. Sure, I still tried to act as a child, but I couldn’t find her spirit. No matter how hard I searched the playful little girl was gone. My childhood was lost and he had replaced her spirit with constant anticipation of the next attack.
Hi acts caused me to fear sleeping in my own bed. He made me dread the walk home from school with Richie at my side, which I always treasured. He made me hate going in to take a bath; standing on a chair to do dishes; riding in the car; even if I was outside trying to play there was the constant preoccupation of waiting to hear him call me inside.
‘Don’t get too occupied with trying to play, you will hear him soon.”
My heart and soul wanted to run, play, ride my new bike, wade through the creek and play with the cat tails growing wild on the bank. I wanted to walk home from school and think about dodging the cracks in the sidewalk.
“Step on a crack – break your mother’s back.” I used to always dodge those cracks; carefully making sure not to hurt my dear mother!!!
This new child was playing very differently now. My barbies and ‘Ken” took turns rubbing naked bodies together. The girl I used to play with next door was banned from being around me because her mother caught me playing with the dolls while visiting in their house one day.
I brought the little boy down the street inside our house to play one afternoon when Mom was home and Grandma Moody, Mom’s mom, was over for a visit and getting a home perm in her hair. The little boy and I went into my room, closed the door, I laid on the bed and pulled down my britches. Then I began to show him this “new way of playing”.
I believe we might have been in there for about thirty minutes before Mom yelled out for us to come out of my room. I couldn’t get the button on my britches fastened up so I pulled my shirt down over it and tried to hide it. Mom asked as we walked out of the room, “Why are your pants undone?” I don’t remember what I gave as an answer, but she let me go and sent us out the door.
That wasn’t enough for this new little girl, so I took him in the back of our house where an old mattress had been put out for trash. Right out in the open I went back to teaching this little boy how to “play”. We weren’t out in the country. There was a house in back of ours and on the one side, but I’m guessing no one saw us. It wasn’t long before the little boy got up and went running away, leaving me there with my britches unfastened and wondering why he ran off so fast.
Walter’s constant sexual stimulation of the little girl caused me to continually engage in self stimulation and misguided behavior with my barbies. Instead of dancing around like a princess, chasing a football with my brother, or wading through the creek; I was involved with educating other children on how I was getting touched and how it felt. I was involved with sexual stimulation that I should not have known anything about. It wasn’t long before there weren’t any neighborhood children who were permitted to hang out with me.
This is the type of childhood change that happens when we are forced to engage in early sexual behaviors. We don’t realize how wrong it is and why should I have? There wasn’t anyone who ever told me any different. No one said, “Trecia Ann what are you doing? Where did you learn this kind of stuff?” Maybe it would have made a huge difference in the next twelve years of my life, perhaps changed the outcome of it all.
This is an example of the early silent signs of sexual abuse in our young children. The children who are too young to verbalize what is happening to them.
Our world is full of sexualized media through commercials, internet and even some of the “Disney” movies have these little silent sexual behaviors and signals. One I remember my own children brining to my attention; the word “Sex” appearing in “The Lion King”.
Our children see us hug, kiss, and may even unexpectedly walk into Mom and Dad’s bedroom, but for most purposes our young children do not automatically know these types of sexual behaviors. These acts have to be shown to them; taught to them in some form by some person.
Our young children, ages one to ten, should not know any of these acts or what these acts are like. They should not know what masturbation feels like or seek out ways to get sexual stimulation. They should not act this out with dolls, stuffed animals or engage other children in these behaviors.
If you see your child stimulating themselves or engaging in other such behaviors, BE VERY CONCERNED!!! Someone has exposed your child or taught them about these feelings of stimulation. Children at these early years inadvertently share these acts publicly in some fashion. You will see them acting out these behaviors in some form. Children can’t help it. It is a natural reaction to seek out the pleasurable sensations, and when they are this young they are too innocent to try and hide if from anyone.
When they demonstrate these acts they are giving you the SILENT WARNING OF ABUSE!!! DON’T IGNORE IT!!! First consider your child’s age. Consider what they might have seen in their environment and then ask a few innocent questions such as these below;
“Where did you learn how to do that? Did someone teach you how to play like that? Did you see it on a television show or a movie? Who were you watching the movie with? Did someone else touch you there like that or did they ask you to touch them there?”
These are just a few examples of some questions you can ask without alarming your child with concern. Don’t go into panic, keep the conversation on their level and in an innocent manner. Don’t make them feel as if they are in trouble for acting this way or for doing something such as touching themselves. You don’t want to show concern, because your child will clam up and dodge showing any future behaviors such as this in any form where they can be caught. You will place misguided blame on them, even if you do not intend to do so. A child will automatically absorb blame if they feel you are not happy in some way.
You can provide the much-needed early intervention and rescue your child from future sexual abuse if you simply watch and listen to how your young children play. If you are aware of these early silent warning signs of abuse, then you can better protect your child.
It is the “innocent” play time that can give you the best insight to what they cannot yet verbalize. This is something that all persons who have contact with young children should watch for within families, amongst friends, in neighborhoods, or children you babysit. You can make a big difference in their world if we simply pay attention to what they cannot yet tell us.
(c)Patricia A. McKnight
Advocate/Author/Speaker/Examiner/Talk Radio Host/Survivor
Please be sure to visit the NEW WEBSITE
Well here it is 6 a.m. on a Saturday morning and again I am unable to sleep. Seems another morning has come where my mind doesn’t want to shut off. It’s so early, actually I’ve been awake since three, but just started coffee and had to get some thoughts out of my head.
First thing I think however, “Damn…..this world can be so insane and evil at times.” That’s it. That’s the first thought. Then, “How can I try to make things different and what are my next few steps going to be?”
I was just telling my beautiful friend, Michal Madison, the other day on the phone about what I am going to write to you here. She and I have become quite close you see. We have never met, but she knows me; she knows my spirit and my dreams. In fact we share many of the same thoughts and wishes, the passions of how we can try to create something better.
Anyway, here goes. “It’s sad to realize that no other mammal on this earth is as cruel to its young as we humans. Even the most ferocious animals of the kingdom; the lions, tigers, and yes, even bears are nurturing to their young. They keep them safe always. These breeds of God’s creations often stay together happily throughout their lifetime. However, humans beat, neglect, degrade, molest and rape our young. We manipulate them in our domestic relationships and our adult world. We use them to satisfy our own sick demented need for power and greatness, even sadistic desires.”
Do you know absolutely any adult can manipulate, over power, and control a child or even preteen; actually any human who is cruel can make another feel less worthy? It is when they have developed the adult body parts, the adult logical thinking, the adult ability to speak out, fight back, run away we start picking another less powerful force.
I made a statement in a Facebook comment yesterday afternoon. In this I discussed, “What would happen if each person who is able, chose to protect just one other who was younger, weaker, not able to protect themselves in some way; How would our world change? What morals and human decency would we be able to give to the next generation? What basic human skills could we give to our children to make this world a better place?”
I’m not sure if you feel as I do, but I’m more concerned about what morality will exist in my grandchildren’s futures rather than what debt they’ll be burdened to carry. Let’s face facts; “How do we ever expect them to pay off our world deficit?” I really don’t view this as a possibility for them. It really is a hope that we can change our pattern of spending to reduce this, but I believe that it may be an impossible feat for them at this point.
“What if instead we all chip in through moral teachings?” We can start punishing those who harm them, make calls to help rescue them, teach them they are worthy; teach them the process I began teaching my own grandchildren and try hard to pass on to them…..
“There are bad things in this world. There are people who are simply bad and do things to hurt other people. We can’t think that God can fix everything and take all the bad people, all the bad things, and rid them away. What we can do, is each try to be good inside. We each can try to find our good and share it with others. We also have to help protect those around us from bad things and bad people.”
That’s it simple easy step one as explained to my, then, six-year-old grandson. Every time someone begins to bully him or tries to be mean to him, he does speak up for himself, most times. But, at the same time when you talk to him he worries about if someone is being mean to them. He even tells his mom and dad when they’re not being nice. He has a great heart and a true soul. My awesome grandson, Gavin, knows at nine years old what it means to be kind and be a good person. I’m not sure I can say that for many adults I’ve come across in my life. It’s tragic to think of the world he, his brother, and my precious little granddaughter are going to be so sadly changed by the cruel sense of others. **Note: (Gavin wrote a story, himself, about this and now he and NaNa are working on the publication)**
“Do you believe we can change the path of mankind? Do you believe we all have the personal right to be safe in our world? Do you believe that if we all choose to protect our own rather than harm them, that we can create a better, kinder, safer world to give them?”
So you may now ask…..”What are my next few steps in this journey to make a difference?”
I am going to share these statements wherever I can. I am going to write about these statements, do public speaking on these statements, try to inspire some sense of moral kindness towards another. Most of all, I am going to ask you to look inside, to ask yourself;
“If I can protect just one and ask another to protect just one, maybe something will change? If I can speak for the goodness in mankind, if I can try to leave something better for my children and grandchildren; then maybe, just maybe, something will begin to sparkle through the goodness that I pass forward. Rather than hand the world to them with all of the pain, violence, evil, darkness; I can be part of the generation that gathered its voices and decided to take a stand.”
“I can be part of that wonderful group that did something different rather than just accepting what has been turned away from for generations. I can simply begin to be one of those awesome voices that decided to say, NO MORE!!”
Let’s face it folks, if we don’t try to do something, what will our children think of this species called the human race in another twenty years?
If you agree with this and you want to help make a change and just don’t know how to start, look inside yourself. What lies inside your heart? What are your thoughts about these statements?What do you hope to pass forward? If all of your answers here fill your ideas with wonderful possibilities, share that good spirit with others.
“The place we can all begin to create a kinder, more compassionate and safer world; this is the good that lies within.”
Be the rose within!!
(c) Patricia A. McKnight
Author: “My Justice”