Public Health Department canceled presentation because victim story too intense

biopic3This is no joke my friends. In January I was asked to present for the Illinois Department of Public Health; April 8th for the Women’s Health & Family Wellness. Unbelievably the lead coordinator for this conference contacted me last week and stated they would have to cancel. When I asked upfront if it was something specific about my story or my presentation, she quickly responded;

‘Your story is really a bit too much in your face. Perhaps if you tone it down a bit and focus more on what we can do to help, then maybe we can invite you back. We’ll keep you on the list of presenters and see what happens.

Let me say first, any time that anyone has asked me to speak – all they have wanted is my horrific victim story. I have learned how to ease my story through but it’s not an easy feat, especially when you consider the true horrific nature of the story itself and how many persons circled through my childhood and adult relationships without ever saying a word.

Quickly I emailed this lead coordinator the presentation I have used to help more than 100 survivors, used on more than 200 radio shows, and have built a website for educational & empowerment for every person. It is NOT a VICTIM’S STORY. In fact, it is ‘Steps to Recovery’.

In this presentation I share first our protective law history, the stats of some 2.3 million discarded reports because the sole intake worker decided they didn’t warrant further investigation. The presentation also covers the very serious truth about molestation, a crime which leaves no physical trace. When someone has molested a child, there is rarely any trace because it’s not like rape. It is touching and groping, therefore without seeing a child’s physical response to another person, or listening to how they play and interact with other children or their toys; you may never know your child is being molested. If the person/s molesting the child are the parents/guardians, then this child may have been going through this since before they can remember. It could be that sexual contact and stimulation is all they know. If they have just started being molested, you will see the outward signs of trauma and challenges in the child’s appearance, interactions, and their school work.

Anyway, also in the presentation I go through the Five Steps of Recovery which came from what I had to do in order to help myself change from victim to victorious. These are goal lists, positivity lists, understanding the impacts of my specific trauma, and it is the work which VICTIMS have to do, NO ONE ELSE CAN DO THIS FOR THEM. It is about empowering every victim with the one thing taken from them which leaves them in a victim state of life, it is about teaching them to use their voice and not to be ashamed of what someone else has done to them. It is not a crime they did but rather a crime committed AGAINST THEM.

Think about this for a moment, if we tell victims they need to ease up on the facts of what someone else has done to them, isn’t this the same as the abuser telling them that no one cares, no one wants to hear, no one will help them? In my eyes, having gone through my own very challenging and life pattern changing recovery; silencing a victim is like putting them in a cage with a bowl of water and a blanket for comfort. It’s like gagging them and only letting them talk when you want to hear them. It’s like taking away their power and their strength to find their balance again. It’s very hard for a victim to find trust and safety to speak at all. They must reach deep down inside to find that one point of them that they feel matters and then believe that someone else will think that it matters as well.

Now, having the Public Health Department tell me that they had professionals who had seen video of me, had seen photos and read a few emails; then decided my story was just too ugly to sit through. If we cannot educate the professionals about the honest truth of how vicious these crimes within our homes, hidden under the parental control and inflicted terror against a child; if we cannot be honest then how will we ever teach our children that they have nothing to be ashamed of? How will we teach them to tell someone when they are being touched, probed, sold, traded, beaten and degraded by the people they live with, the persons who control their very existence? I ask you friends, although we should definitely use age appropriate measures when talking with our kids about these topics, how can we teach them if the professionals do not want to hear the details of their suffering?

I very much believe that the voice of a victim is the one solid tool which will lead them to feel victorious in their life. One step at a time they learn that as they release the details of their suffering that are no longer afraid of the sledge hammer of hell coming down to destroy them. It is the locked up silence which traps them in living a victim pattern of life. This much I’ve learned in the years of not having insurance or money for a therapist so I lay in bed crying for days, screaming about the how & why of what happened to me, why wasn’t I worthy of protecting as they protected my siblings? Why did I have to be a slave, forced to answer the ring of that little brass bell, whatever the ‘master’ needed? Why was I the only one forced to spend days scrubbing the corners of our house, then two years after I move out, the house is so over run with roaches, not even the exterminator can keep up with the battle? Why didn’t it matter that I was covered with filth and infection, my teeth black, plaque covered and broken, my body covered in bruises day after day? Why didn’t someone in that town help me, why didn’t I matter as a human being?

Because no one ever stepped up to say; ‘Hey Trecia Ann, you don’t deserve to be treated like this. You deserve to be safe, take a bath in your home, a toothbrush, some tenderness.’ Sadly as a result of all those people who either witnessed or took part in the sadistic games with me as the prize, but yet not one ever found me worthy to acknowledge as a human being; it is these types of actions which led me to believe this was my life. This is was what I deserved, and I should never think that I deserve anything better. It is all of this that left me living in a victim state of mind. I was everyone’s perfect victim and completely submissive for any person who showed me a hint of kindness. I just wanted to be loved, to be safe, and I would give anything of myself to not have someone hurt me, even to the point of regulating my breathing so as not to give cause for another attack.

I know many exactly like me and I hope you have taught the children you know the true power of their voice and our professionals need to know how monsters like this make it their mission to silence their victims. As ridiculous as it may sound, my stepfather still has me terrified of my afterlife; afraid that I might have to endure him all over again. This is a real fear for me. This is how evil and how horrific his actions were and not a single person in the middle of that town would ever want to hear my voice, my plea for mercy, my begging my mother’s help, my prayers for God to take me away.

Readers, I hope as you’ve read this it made some sense and that you will watch the children in your circle of life and family. I assure you, I am not the only survivor of such atrocities. I assure you, evil like this is happening in the smallest of communities across the country. As many advocates I work and share with have found, more cases of parental child sex trafficking & web-based exploitation of their children is happening in small communities across the country. The internet has a lot of great uses, but the deviate mind who wants to make money; they find that charging people to watch them molest, traffick and exploit their children is sadly more than our services can possibly take down. All of us within a community need to be aware of the children in our neighborhood. Do they seem like good kids? Are their people coming and going at all hours? Is there a lot of adult men and strangers coming to the house? Our educators can help by watching how the child’s school work is completed, are they up to date, interact in class, have reasonable social skills with others, are they reasonably clean and well cared for?

Our health care professionals & law enforcement are the frontline for their safety. You need to know how dark it can become and exactly what adults will go through to silence a child for what can turn into decades of their life, remember the fear and silence has to outlast any statute of limitations so that the predator is never held accountable or prosecuted for their harm done. We should never tell ANY victim to be quiet, ‘tone it back’, ‘get over it’. They may want to have us ease our stories, but for this victim who has worked so hard to become victorious and put every ounce of devotion possible into helping make sure we are able to help others trapped today, the frontline defenders will not tell this victim; ‘it just doesn’t matter’.

To me this reprehensible, and it feels a lot like the weapon and slap used to silence me a long time ago.

Empower every person to know their Civil Rights to life, liberty, and security of their person. They deserve a SAFE life, and no one has the right to inflict harm or sexual contact, unless they are consenting and accepting adults. No one has a right to inflict harm like this on a child who cannot speak up, cannot refuse, cannot fight back, cannot run away, and cannot escape the day to day torment & torture by the one who has control over their very existence. You can help us educate our frontline defenders by supporting our petition – ‘Family Terrorist Act – https://www.change.org/p/mr-president-please-enforce-the-right-to-be-safe-for-all-persons-especially-our-children-enforce-family-terrorist-act-trecia-s-law

Thanks for reading, have a wonderful day

Empower every person to believe they absolutely matter!!!

Patricia McKnight

copyright @ www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

Author; ‘My Justice’

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Dear Mr. President…..

In the FFY 2011 the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data Systems (NCANDS) recorded the demographics for 3,712,034 reports of child maltreatment across the country. Sadly, because of the low number of Child Protective Service workers (being only 33,000), and because a single call taker on each of these reports was permitted to make the determination as to whether or not the report warranted any further investigation, and whether or not the report met the required individual state’s mandated guidelines; our system allowed 2,360,614 of these reports to be written off as Unsubstantiated without any further investigation needed. Even more horrifying Mr. President, is that in the overall 3.7 Million calls only 0.1% of these were found to be false claims. How can we wipe away 2.3 million reports without a 2nd or even 3rd opinion to determine the need for further investigation? How when the proven total of false claims is less than 1% of all reports; how can we say as a country that we did our best to protect our children?

Mr. President, it is with the utmost respect for what you have been able to achieve in your service as our 44th American President, which I come to you as a citizen, a survivor of horrific child maltreatment witnessed and allowed by an entire community for 9 consecutive years, while attending the same school system; yet not one single person cared enough to enforce the enacted child maltreatment protection laws to help rescue me from the monsters who were my parents.

Mr. President, I write to you today as a strong advocate against all abuses of this nature. I have taken what nightmares I endured as a child for the entire twelve long years and turned this into a published autobiography in the memoir ‘My Justice’, which I’m ecstatic to share has been used to teach upcoming marriage & family therapists; reached into the hearts of medical professionals, and has impacted the lives of hundreds of survivors who have been inspired to also begin their recovery and heal their own inner wounds from the lifetime histories of abuse and evil.  Also, in a drive to empower the community & family friends to stand as defenders and report all suspicions of abuse; child maltreatment, I’ve founded a new service, which is self funded, supported by incredible advocates across the country, and now a true resource; Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery. Everyday I connect, support, mentor survivors who are struggling through the lifelong impact of P.T.S.D., depression and many other mental health difficulties.There have been speaking engagements and trainings on how I can best help to assist families, victims, survivors to move past what has happened and the trauma which invaded their lives. At the same time I’ve continued my mission of self study of these impacts, our laws, and ongoing local community work to better assist and introduce our local services to our citizens so they understand the who and how of helping someone in a moment of need. In truth, Mr. President, I will give my last breath to make sure that I am doing all I can to educate others, support those suffering, and prevent all I can from happening to our children today.

It is crucial Mr. President that we begin today as a strong country to end the evil crimes we commit against our children and the loved ones in our homes. In order to ensure that all crimes of this nature are being handled appropriately and that all states are ready to join in this mission, I beg you Sir, please create a federal reform of the mandated child maltreatment reporting guidelines, so that we are meeting the very best of these protections and investigations for the well being of our continued generations. We can no longer pretend not to know or recognize when a child is being harmed. Throughout centuries we have permitted and tolerated these types of crimes to fester in the taught silence within our families and protecting the abusers by blaming the child victims and brushing it off as if it doesn’t matter. This has now become our own man-made created and tolerated cancer which has invaded generations of lives. The Center for Disease and Control reports about 50 million citizens living as survivors today, which generates a cost of approximately $124 Billion a year for the lifetime recovery of these brutal crimes.

It is now that we must absolutely create a FEDERAL WATCH FOR THE PROTECTION OF ALL CHILDREN. It is in doing this that we need to create a strict standard of investigational steps which must be followed through on absolutely every single report of child maltreatment. If we do not demand that all responsible adults protect the children around them and report the abuses or violence against children, then we are accepting that our children are not worth the time to investigate and mandate their protection. I beg every citizen to not allow the pedophiles and monsters to control the lives & create the nightmares our children will carry into adulthood and then they are the ones in control. What will we tell them, all of them? How many more lives will we permit in the destruction which invades their adult skills and ability to function?

In respect,

Sincerely,

Patricia A. McKnight

Author: My Justice

Founder/C.E.O. – Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Advocate/Speaker/Consultant/Radio Host/Survivor

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio

February Talk Radio Guest List and Schedule………..

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Talk Radio Programming

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamsabuserecovery

Call in phone # (347)215-7754

Our programming is a magnificent team of survivors & experts, but each host represents their own specific show and will share with you their upcoming ideas, guests, and programs!! This schedule is for the Monday & Wednesday programs with Trish McKnight and Michal Madison. Be sure to tune in and listen as all of our hosts, including the wonderful Annie O’Sullivan & Kelly Behr, present their special programs for your listening. We do hope you will gather some food for thought as we discuss the very heinous acts of abuse and violence within our homes.

Each independent host will share their upcoming guests & programs!!

**We still would like to talk to some new hosts. We’ve got some open programming days and if you believe this is something you are interested in joining, please let us know. If you have a special focus on these issues and would like to share your talents in your own broadcasted program, please contact Trish McKnight by emailing:

butterflydreamsabuserecovery@gmail.com    Please title as  SHOW HOST in subject line!!

February Guest Schedule!!!!

Feb 04; Monday‘Generation No More’ w/ Trish McKnight & Guest

Ms. Janice Meadows – Hedrick: Very excited to have Janice join in as we continue looking at the studied stats for 2011 reported to the Children’s Bureau. We’ll kick off by talking about the stats in her area of West Virginia, along with some special information she’d like to share about her state and their efforts to prosecute the predators and parents who attack the children. We’ll also be chatting about the Teen Dating Violence awareness month!!! What can you do as a parent to see the warning signs and help your kids understand what they mean? Very proud to share Janice is our very first Premier Supporter for our radio programming. We truly appreciate her ongoing work and devotion to this cause!!

Feb 06; Wednesday‘Survivors World’ w/ Trish & Michal

Natasha Hagan: Natasha is an avid fighter and promoter for RAINN.org (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network). Miss Hagan is going to share her journey from victim to thriver as she is now one of the leading voices of this organization and manager of Team Strick. She’s traveled to Washington D.C., she’s met with some amazing stars and now she comes to share her ongoing journey as she speaks to break down the walls of silence about these vicious crimes.

Feb 11; Monday‘Generation No More’ w/ Trish & Guest

Nell Cole:  Advocate/Radio Producer & Host of Firetalk Productions blog talk radio program, Ms. Nell Cole will join in on a educational and awareness discussion about the crimes of abuse & violence throughout centuries.  Nell is an advocate for all injustice; not only speaking with those who have been harmed within our country, but she also discusses many various topics throughout history, such as: Sexual Healing, Orphans & Abuse, Historic topics of varying degrees. You’ll find her a wonderful, compassionate and highly intellectual person who sees these crimes and speaks the truth, breaking down the walls of secrets!!

Feb 13; Wednesday‘Survivors World’ w/ Trish & Michal

This night will be a call in night for our listeners to share your views on the topics of discussion. This broadcast will focus ‘Coping Strategies of the Trauma Survivor’. Michal did some research and found a few amazing articles about how survivors will use the coping they learned during the trauma of abuse throughout many of the difficult challenges in their adult life. Cannot wait to discuss and share with all of you on this topic!!! Please be sure to join us as we open up all the phones and our chatroom for your input.

Feb 18; Monday‘Generation No More’ w/ Trish & Guest

Denise Rotheimer: This is sure to me one powerful discussion. Mom, turned advocate, Founder of ‘Mothers on a Mission to Stop Violence’; Ms. Rotheimer is taking the battle of victims rights in the state of Illinois all the way to the U. S. Supreme Court. You’ll hear how her daughter was a child victim and how ‘Jasmine’s Law’ HB5187 also know as the Survivor Rights Act is the mission of this mom as she gains appellate justice for all victims and witnesses of violent crimes. Please listen in as this is sure to be one for the records as we discuss the foundation and her own personal battle in that very sensitive and often violated issue of Victims Rights vs. Rights of the Accused. Denise Rotheimer is also host of the cable television show, ‘Enforce Justice’.

Feb 20; Wednesday‘Survivors World’ w/ Trish & Michal

Janice Hedrick: Back on the show with us, this time Janice will be talking about her history of growing up in a drunken, raged filled home. Escaping and running into the hope of a new life, unfortunately to be attacked, raped and walking the path of the lost for almost 2 years. Janice is going to share with us the many secrets she has never spoken of before and we’ll discuss the impact of the sexual attack and how our mental health is impacted by the trauma. This is one for all rape survivors, you know the dark path of fear and loss that is felt. Please join in to support this courageous supporter/advocate to end the violence within our homes and the crimes of sexual attacks.

Feb 25; Monday‘Generation No More’ w/ Petra Luna of PlunaFoundation

Petra Luna: Singer/Musician/Artist/Advocate/Founder of Plunafoundation, the awesome and strong spoken spirit of Petra Luna comes to our phones. This amazing advocate is creator of MALE ABUSE AWARENESS WEEK!!! An event held December 1st – 8th in San Francisco, California, is dedicated strictly to MALE ABUSE AWARENESS!! Petra gives an exciting concert event and a week full of activities all directed to give our guys their macho male spirit and honoring what they have endured. Our male victims are becoming more recognized with the great efforts of Petra and her foundation to help guys understand, speak out and cope with the many difficult battles of being a survivor of rape and child abuse. You can join in the new Facebook Supporter Group by clicking on this link………. https://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_188508034535018#!/groups/188508034535018/

Feb 27; Wednesday – ‘Survivors World’ w/ Trish & Michal

Michal and I will open up our phone lines again and open up the topic of discussion as we take your shares about your journey of being a survivor. This show will focus on the issues of Domestic/Relationship Violence. There are many controlling factors when you speak of this type of violence. It can expand from the very least of keeping track of your actions, isolation, degradation, financial control, to the very brutal physical attacks which can often be almost deadly or life crippling. Join in as Michal and I take your calls and your stories about the survivors of these types of violence in our dating relationships and more common, those that happen within our homes by those who promise to be our partners, love us, respect us; in the end to torture and control us. We will close out our February month with a full discussion on the Relationship/Dating Violence our teens also deal with and how we can become aware to help them escape before the worst possible action happens.

Remember you were not brought into this world to have your spirit destroyed by the evil of those around you. There is life after abuse and you too can find your path to freedom!!

You deserve a safe place to sleep

You deserve respect

You deserve kindness & support

You deserve as much love as you freely give to others

You deserve roses in your garden of life!!

Thank you for supporting, sharing, and listening in on our programs. It’s sure to be a fantastic month with a lot of debate. Hope you will recommend the shows to your friends and family as we all step up to break down the wall of silence about these vicious crimes.

© Patricia A. McKnight

Founder/CEO: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Blog Talk Radio Programming

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio & Abuse Recovery

Author; ‘My Justice’ 

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com/home_tmp_6314.html

Advocate/Author/Speaker/Writer/Talk Radio Prod & Host/Survivor

Please email to: butterflydreamsabuserecovery@gmail.com