To change our world we have to heal our past……

 

Have you noticed the multitude of Adult Survivors of Child Sex Crimes who are sharing their collective voices across the United States? Actually if you really notice it’s happening in every country around the world; filling the internet and becoming part of the norm? I must say myself and every other adult survivor never thought we would be able to break our silence, release the ugly secrets, and have our voices matter. It’s outstanding the pendulum swing and it’s about damn time we take a real hard look at what has been tolerated inside our families throughout our human history.

Often inside our homes is now or can become the most dangerous place in the world!!!

National Institute of Mental Health estimates 4.2% of Adult Americans with Serious Mental Illness (SMI)

 

Why the NIMH Data?

What do we absolutely know about Trauma and our Brain; Emotional Response vs Learned Behavioral Patterns?

Let me make clear that I am in no way a licensed or specially trained psychology expert on any level. However, what I can say is:

  • I lived in a tumultuously dangerous environment for 40 years
  • I have worked through my 3rd nervous breakdown and have been a continuous work in progress for six straight years
  • It has taken days upon days of research to be prepared & provide actual confirmed information in hopes of assisting others like myself. In producing/hosting more than 200 online talk radio programs concerning different levels of this topic; our mental health, physical health, and even family health seriously impacted, which then effects our communities, crime, drugs, alcohol, gang and school violence, bullying, work place violence and societal abuses that plagues America’s most vital Freedom; our justice system.
  • I have attended trainings provided by local & Illinois State organizations to provide my certifications in Domestic & Family Violence Assistance and Prevention received by Violence Prevention Center of SW IL in June 2013. Also certification in Human Trafficking 101 which was provided by Rescue & Restore Coalition of East St. Louis in March 2014.
  • To provide assured information in the website and support provided by Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery. Links and research has been appropriately provided in it’s development and updates since September 2012; along with the honor to share the creative watercolor art by Advocate/Friend/Survivor Michal Madison. www.michalmadisonart.com
  • In my attended trainings throughout 2013 & 2014 this included Sexual Assault Awareness & Prevention; Child Abuse Awareness & Prevention; Elder Abuse Awareness & Prevention; Bullying Awareness & Prevention; Mental Health Support Awareness
  • I have dedicated my focus and my drive to be part of this major force and end the stigma related to being abused; either in severe neglect, psychological, physical, sexual, and/or living with a constant fear in Family Violence.

It is factual to quote an FBI Victim’s Specialist in stating;

‘You are indeed an EXPERT’

I would say that while yes, I have a lot of vital information which I’ve collected, published, and shared to help create the change and influence as many positive vibes in helping change knowledge, provide support, and even update our policies & laws; I in no way consider myself an ‘EXPERT’.  In that statement, I have provided at least some 30 other survivors like myself who have built nonprofits, provide help, publish blogs, monitor support groups, assist victims & provide support for any person who reaches out in a difficult or harmful situation.  These are friends, family warriors, and persons whom I’ve actually admired and found strength from in what we are doing together.

We must understand the path of recovery from these issues isn’t just doing without a drug, or a drink, or getting through a moment. This process of recovery influences your education, your life skills knowledge, the ability to work everyday, to not be triggered by something in a grocery store or when with a group of friends. It effects parenting skills, boundaries, and educating our children as well as protecting them from any of this type of negative influence. It requires a complete moment to moment process of changing your lifestyle, your thoughts, your learned behaviors and disrespect for others or a type of person; such as Racism Against a Religion, Sexual Preferences, Color of Skin, Gender, Age, Economic Status or Place of Residence.

Humans have been taught and influenced by the generation before them, those who are responsible for guiding them and providing balance in their growing life. Tragically those who are teaching them in family have already endured the suffering and been influenced by what their parents and then the generation before have believed was appropriate and influenced without punishment or concern against their kids. Each of us can go back for centuries in our cultures and family tolerances to see a cycle that just continues and no one seems to know how to change it. They are either too traumatized & trained to believe this is simply life, or they have been altered by the distress of being victimized and living in a daily battle of survival.

How can we possibly see an end to this behavioral emphasis in our human existence. Yes, we definitely make sure that our laws & policies provide the best possible guidelines and punishments, but also that we provide the best possible community awareness and education in every small rural community across the borders. It is only in helping to develop a NEW way of thinking that this process will ever be achieved or even begin to affect the whole of our society. It starts in what we teach our kids and how we treat them.

The basics:

  • YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HARM OTHER BEINGS.
  • YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SEXUALLY INFLUENCE A CHILD IN ANY MANNER.
  • YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO OWN, TRADE, SHARE, USE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING OF ANY AGE, RACE, RELIGION.
  • YOU DO NOT HAVE THE POWER TO OWN OR DOMINATE; TO VIOLATE THE FREEDOM OF ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.

Yes, I’m a dreamer. I wish we could flip a switch and end this TODAY, but sadly like it has taken us generations to get as severe as we are today; it will take generations for us to provide that path and create a peaceful type of life with others.

We can however definitely make a CHOICE; make a decision right now, begin this very moment; I will not allow this destruction to touch my life or my family any longer. I will decide to do whatever it takes in getting therapy for myself and my family, to begin teaching respect for the welfare of others and appreciate the most precious right of safety in every home, in our personal circles and to openly discuss this basic freedom in all possible settings. We can influence the life of our friends, our neighbors, and our community leaders. We can absolutely insist that this topic of recovery for our society as a whole begin to be addressed as a Human Recovery in our political agendas and who we put into office in our governments. We can begin holding others responsible for their choices to harm, just as we are responsible for our actions and reactions.

Our human brain, emotional development, attitudes, beliefs, traditions, even violence, rage, sexual behaviors, anxieties, fears, actions and reactions are an affect of what we have lived in and been taught to accept; the creed we live by in our close circles; inside our homes and teach inside our schools.

Teach Positive Life behaviors

Reach out for life so you can grow.

Spread your wings to release your sorrow.

Fly strong to reach the stars

Show the world how beautiful you are

❤ Life Strong & Fly Free ❤

Believe as the Butterflies; ‘Believe Anything Is Possible with You in the Active Equation’

Thank you for reading & I hope you’ll share, comment, post, discuss in casual conversation and begin to live in your own true freedom & recovery today.

Patricia A McKnight

Author; ‘My Justice’

Creator: Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

www.blogtalkradio.com/voicesInjusticeRadio

 

Passing the Torch of Freedom

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Tonight I have the very special honor to speak for the Candle Light Vigil during the event for Restoring the Balance of Justice; held & coordinated by Rescue & Restore of Southwestern Illinois & Hoyleton Ministries. This event made possible by a grant for National Crime Victims Rights Week 2014 and the amazing work of Miss Kristen Eng.

Dear Friends,

Most of my life I lived as a VICTIM, never once realizing I had any RIGHTS to change what was happening or seek safety through some form of resource or justice. Actually when I think back on all that encompassed my life and the many different types of crime I was trained to tolerate, it makes me wonder today the ‘WHAT IF’ there would have been just one day that I believed I could take back control and reach out for help?

I was a VICTIM at five years old when my stepfather first attacked me with vicious sexual abuse.

I was a VICTIM at nine years old when my mother began training me as the family slave in forced child labor.

I was a VICTIM at eleven years old when my stepfather began trading me out in child sex trafficking.

I was a VICTIM at twelve years old when my mother refused any form of basic human necessities and the child neglect of all medical care left me scarred from head to toe; inside and out.

I was a VICTIM at fifteen years old in a life that was filled with brutal physical abuse day in and day out, which was witnessed by family friends, neighbors, school mates, and siblings.

I was a VICTIM at 17 when I left home to live with a man who then began to beat me and I suffered severe injuries by his almost murderous attacks for two years.

I was a VICTIM at 20 years old when I married an emotionally abusive and constantly degrading man who then became father to my three children.

I was a VICTIM at 30 years old when my second husband beat me during his repeated alcoholic rages and left me permanently injured.

I lived as a VICTIM for over 30 years, trained to believe I had NO VOICE, NO FREEDOM, NO RIGHTS TO JUSTICE to change what had happened to me throughout all those years filled with pain, terror, sadness, isolation, and silence.

Tonight as I stand up here and we light our candles, I pray all of you who have been touched by some form of violent crime can feel the power of freedom with me. There is a huge swing in our pendulum of justice today. A new generation is taking charge and we are creating awareness, resources of help, support in our recovery, and the ability to claim our VICTIMS RIGHTS through our system of justice.

No longer can we live in the past and teach our children, our partners, our spouses, neighbors, families, and friends to be silent and to continue tolerating the attacks against our sense of personal safety. When a crime, any type of crime, invades your sense of safety you then are left to feel powerless, without a voice, shame in your vulnerability, and blame by those who abandon you. Tonight this is our time to reclaim our freedom, to take back our power, to allow that sense of power to embed itself deep down in your soul that you are able to raise your head up, release yourself from any sense of shame. When you are a VICTIM, this is NOT something you wanted, this is NOT something you did; this is an act that some other person CHOSE to commit AGAINST you.

In the state of Illinois, along with 30 other states in our society today, we are taking back our RIGHT to be aware of the resources available to help us. Taking back our RIGHT to seek justice and have our court system enforce our VICTIMS RIGHTS. We as a human society have a grand opportunity to begin teaching the next generation their true right to be safe, live safe, and respect the HUMAN RIGHTS given to all persons in our nation.

Tonight here among all of those in attendance, the US Attorneys Office, State’s Attorneys Office, FBI Services, Resources for your Victims Rights, Survivors & Victims –tonight with you we claim our freedom and in lighting your torch may it be a source that you take with you always and pass on to those in your family, your neighbors, churches, workplace, and in our daily lives. Tonight we light our torch in memory of those we’ve lost, but also in memory of the power you hold inside to change what generations before us have taught in tolerance and silence, we take back our voice and we pass forward the torch of freedom. Thank you for carrying your torch of a new beginning.

We claim our VICTIMS RIGHTS!!!

Here’s to teaching the pattern of love, life, happiness, and most of all SAFETY to the next generation!!!

©Patricia A McKnight

Author: ‘My Justice’      MyJustice     

Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio