Go ahead, ask that child what happened, I dare ya?

 

Well its happened my friends. Yesterday myself and a very dear friend, a passionate advocate for the voices of those who’ve been harmed; Ms. Lisa Chilton, Legal Advocacy Director of St. Clair County Courthouse; we met with Illinois House Representative Jay Hoffman, and we introduced the proposal for the Family Terrorist Act – ‘Trecia’s Law’. (let me add here that Representative Hoffman’s career in establishing civil and just amendments to help our nation is remarkable, I am so truly honored to have been given his time and he did not rush me out Smile)

Google this – https://www.change.org/p/mr-president-help-your-american-society-protect-our-universal-declaration-of-human-rights-please-enforce-family-terrorist-act-trecia-s-law

Friends I cannot share the depth of passion I felt in my heart as I spoke with Mr. Hoffman. I was so nervous my hands were shaking. In my inner self I needed him to hear what I was saying; how much we needed to take time and address these issues. It is so horrifying to me that in our human society we still continue to turn silent about the one thing that matters most for OUR entire existence as human beings, alive and breathing. Tell me why are we afraid to ask the children we know, “What happened sweetie?’.

“Why didn’t you get your homework done these past three months? Why do you keep going out with every guy that comes your way? Why are you afraid of your dad coming home?”

You know, four years ago all I wanted to do was just tell my own story and get it out of my gut. I had been forced, then manipulated, then tricked into silence about all the many different levels and types of harm I had suffered over some 30+ years. It was tearing me apart that my life was a whirlwind cycle of emotions, reactions, and explosions which had almost destroyed my own children. My choice to leave their father after our 2nd marriage together in trying to keep our family together, my choice in how I played out that choice caused a beginning of pain for my children that I have carried so extremely heavy in my heart and still today, now 15 years from leaving my last violent attacker, it is the greatest regret I have but I guess in some ways they were being guided in a more appropriate life pattern than I may have given. It shows in my daughters’’ lives through the choices in men they take and the type of life I see them living. This is not what I wanted for MY BABIES. This is not why I begged God to give me that one true gift. Please they may have destroyed my physical body, but please do not take away that one true miracle, the miracle of children.

My goodness how precious a gift to have a child, but also what a heavy responsibility, especially when you have never had any safe or positive form of parenting yourself. How in the world can we possibly guide them through and protect them when so many of us have been infected with this disgust and distortion of what life is SUPPOSED to be. Now I know its not guaranteed to be perfect and become rich, or any other form of happiness, but dammit it must be protected and it must be SAFE!!! If a child cannot lay down their head in a quiet, SAFE PLACE then what are we about and what have we become as human beings?

Trust me, I know how mixed up and confused it is, especially when we have been blocked by the enforced silence that has built our entire lives. How bad is it that a person, any person, will live into their 40’s before they ever even think about telling a DOCTOR about what’s happened? We say to them all our lives, for those who ever had a choice to go to a doctor, we tell them they fell and hit their head, I tripped, fell off my bike, ran into a door, and what is even worse than this; the doctor’s still are too uncomfortable to ask that one true question that can begin to change their entire lives, ‘What happened sweetie; truly you can tell me.’ 

What is wrong with our teachings about life when we look away from our own children being molested silently by someone. Ok, so we don’t actually see the molestation go on, but we do see changes in that child. We see behaviors in our family functions together that show how that child is evolving under that haunting thought of why so many people don’t see what’s happening and if they do why don’t they ask, ‘What happened sweetie, you alright, something going on inside you need to talk about? Is there a secret thing that someone is telling you not to tell. What is it child, what happened?

Friends, we cannot play these games with our society any longer. Please take a look around you, where has it gotten us that we just can’t be faced with that child’s voice telling us something we don’t know how to handle. What’s worse is that you are the adult and you don’t know how to begin because you’ve never spoken about things that happened to you. You know that forced silenced, you know that feeling of not being able to EVER talk about what happened. You’re 35 years old and have never faced a single moment of what happened but you’re all confused in life. You don’t know your way through, you’re just trying to make it the best possible way you can. You have you’re mouth to feed, clothe, shelter, and maybe you even need family to help you out. How in the world can you every ask that child what’s happened?

When I published ‘My Justice’ it was about finding my way through. I was in a relationship I didn’t want to somehow screw up. I was in a good job and my children were growing up, my son had started college. I could not figure out why in the world when something was good in my life, for the very first time it was relaxed and SAFE. No one was touching me when I didn’t want to be touched. No one was grabbing my throat while I slept and trapping me in a fear of possible death if I didn’t do whatever it was they needed or wanted me to do at that moment. My life was fabulous and my insides were going crazy, especially as I was writing and in my own therapy, since I had been forced by my many medical issues onto disability; I started writing to my children and I needed to explain it all to them so that maybe it would somehow change things. I prayed with all my soul that somehow it would change what happened in the lives of my grandchildren, even if its not the life of perfection that it at least be SAFE, CALM, SUPPORTIVE. God heard my prayers with every word I’ve ever written, including this one. He’s hid with me and all those times I ran to the cemetery and begged Him to just take me out, He kept me going.

No I am not a church going religious person, in fact I’m terrified inside a church only because my stepfather ensured me through every single breath he took that I was never good enough to be accepted into Heaven, that I would surely be condemned for absolutely everything I’d ever done after age 12, which by the way is when his greatest level of torture ever began; the year he took my virginity with the barrel of his favorite shotgun and ripped me apart. Hoping that I would never be able to get pregnant and reproduce, enforcing his reign of control and making sure that I never took a chance to tell another living soul about what happened in our house and how he and my mother used me on so many levels of either seduction or physical labor. He made sure I never spoke against another person who ever touched me again in my life. He made sure that I felt like I didn’t deserve to breathe so why should anyone ever give a damn about what was happening to me. What’s even worse is that throughout all the physical rot that ate away my skin, took away my smile with the layers of plaque that had been there for years because I didn’t deserve a toothbrush. I didn’t deserve to see a doctor about the infection of pus filled sores whom so many many people avoided touching me at all for a decade. How much more public than taking that disgusting rotting child to the bar and teaching her how to shake her ass so her old man could have some free beers?How much more public than knowing in your circle of co-workers that Malcolm had a young daughter he liked to bring around to all the parties and shit. You could even pay in on a half barrel plus to come to the house. No you didn’t have to worry about Mona, she’d go to the bedroom and watch TV. Think she was kind of jealous that I wanted to have ‘Trecia Ann’ host the parties, sit on their laps, dance around with them and yeah, you’d better damn well shut the hell up when they start touching you girl, it’s nothing dammit’

That was the very honest truth of my life friends for nine consecutive long years. I went to the same school day after day from fifth grade to the middle of my sophomore year, which is when everything was at its very most evil and it just kept getting more dark every day. This was the life of a child whom not a single soul in that entire community who knew and talked about all that child did, but not a single person felt I deserved being asked,

‘What happened sweetie?’

How much longer will we do this people? How many more children and teens will we ignore when we know for a fact something’s going on in their lives? No it may not be as dark as the life myself and already at least 300 others I know have lived, but what if it is? Are you willing to take the chance that it won’t be that bad?

So darlins, its’ like this; Representative Jay Hoffman is definitely passionate about changing the path of histories like our generation have suffered, exactly like so many others before us. It has been a cycle of human destruction since back in the Roman days and further. We have seen human slavery at its very worst and we fought the battle that lost the greatest number of human beings in any war as 50,000 men lay dead on the ground in the bloodiest battle ever fought in our country, the right for every single human beings right to be protected in their person. We fought battle after battle and spent billions upon billions of dollars helping rebuild other countries who have been destroyed for not protecting and respecting human life & protective rights. Yet in all of those battles friends, we still cannot look at the precious little child that sitting next to us on Christmas and say to her, ‘What’s happened sweetie, you alright?’

Now I know when I found Facebook and started a little thing called talking, at first it was to let Y’all know ‘My Justice’ was being published and then it started as much more; writing to everyone then became a source for my therapy, which I still need on some levels. You caught my voice and many of you then started in PM’s with me. You were sharing you stories and what happened, as you also needed finally to tell someone. You needed to scream and you needed to have someone hear your voice say, Dammit Listen to Me!! We started a little group together, we started many wonderful two years of talk radio broadcast’s together and we’ve written and posted, commented and connected. I see all of you there who couldn’t or didn’t quite yet feel strong enough to tell the stories and share that broken, wounded soul; you are now amazing group leaders, strong advocates, and we have all developed in astounding ways together. It’s been an amazing journey my loves and I am so grateful that you’ve been their for me and I pray that I’ve been their for you. This is how we connect together and we change the future for our kids in our own special little way. We share through the internet and all the way around the world just how many injustices there are in our human society, and you know what; many have become devoted and strong in this mission, but others a few, they’ve become more focused on the fame of being the one than being able to be the one that make a true change, starting with your very own family and circle of friends. That’s how we make the greatest change my friends, we become strong enough to ask that child what happened.

Now my dears, is the part where I go back to praying. The next step Lisa is seeing if she can arrange a meeting with the Illinois State’s Attorney, Brendon Kelly to see how his office can help better address or even if its worth it, to create mandates to implement action on the Family Terrorist Act – ‘Trecia’s Law’. Representative Jay Hoffman was very open to conversation, supportive and listening to the needs I wanted to make sure we address in healthcare, education, and most importantly all three of us agreed on – empower and teach our children that it’s alright to tell someone about the secrets someone is forcing you to keep. It doesn’t matter if its Mom, Dad, Step Parents, Boyfriends or Girlfriends, even the kid next door. You have the HUMAN RIGHT TO BE PROTECTED IN YOUR PERSON!!! Not one single person has the right to even put a finger on you in a sexual or harming manner. You have the right to always be safe!!!! This should be strongest in our great country of America than anywhere else in the world. It’s what our country was founded for, so that no matter who you are you had the right to live &* breathe in being just who you were born to be, and that you do NOT have the right to lay a harmful finger on any other person. You are not better than or more deserving than that person next door or down the street. You may be more powerful than that child, but so what. How strong do you have to be to never lay a harmful finger on a three week old baby, or a six year old child, or a twenty year old mother, or a thirty year old man. Not one person isn’t given the protection of their person, because the United Nation’s Global Committee have written in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

This Christmas Eve is so important to me. In a spiritual manner I am praying stronger than I’ve ever prayed before, and being more open in spirit than I’ve been since first finding my courage to speak up, tell my secrets, tell My Justice. This amendment we are asking our American Governing Person’s to review is how we can begin change in our own communities, within our own neighborhoods, and especially within our own families and ask that child, ‘What happened sweetie?’

So in my spiritual self I pray to God in Heaven above, if there is a way we can give back the importance of love and protection in our human society, please this is your chance to help us God, help us be strong enough and knowledgeable enough to teach our children that it is wrong for these harms to come to them. Teach them that if it is hurting them it should never ever be a secret, no matter if its actually them who is being hurt or if a friend at school or cousin Jimmy said something or did something that made them uncomfortable. Our Creator did not say that we are just born to procreate, but born to love each other in a spiritual respect of who we are as people. We cannot and should not ever allow the destruction of a human being on any level, but I promise you friends, if a child or a person is living with someone who is indeed their ‘Family Terrorist’ you WILL see the signs of change and trauma on that precious soul, no matter how old or young, we cannot ignore the dangers of those within our neighbors home any longer. See something, Say something – you have the adult duty to never turn away from the knowledge within your gut that something is most definitely wrong. You have the duty to your friend, your neighbor, even your own grandchildren, to make sure that they have a chance to know a safe life and lay down with their inner self in peace.

This Christmas I’ll be thinking of all of you. I’ll be hoping this writing or someone’s voice, or a person’s need will reach your heart and you will be the one to create that change in the most important place in the world, the love of your very own family.

Bless You, sweeties. Have a beautiful Merry Christmas and I’ll be waiting to hear back from the staff of House Rep Jay Hoffman after our New Year reigns in loves.

Here’s sending Magical Merry Christmas Wishes to each and everyone of you, be the change you want to see, be the one strong to ask that child –

WHO LOVES YA BABY?

Smooches y’all Smile

Patricia A McKnight

Proposer: Family Terrorist Act – ‘Trecia Ann’s Law’ for the child she was whom so many left to suffer at the hands of her own true ‘Family Terrorists’.

https://www.change.org/p/mr-president-help-your-american-society-protect-our-universal-declaration-of-human-rights-please-enforce-family-terrorist-act-trecia-s-law

Copywrited; Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Author: ‘My Justice’ Get your copy today Smile

 

 

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Its a ‘Family Defender’ Campaign from Butterfly Dreams!!

BioPic3.png          Patricia A. McKnight

Author/Advocate/Speaker/Radio Host/Survivor

Owner/CEO – Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Programming

 

Its really wonderful to wake early in the morning and have the very quiet, bird chirping, sun rising time to myself. Its like an injection of life. This quiet time of morning is when my senses are most heightened as a writer. This flow of energy also drives me to become an activist and no longer the person who just thinks about doing something; the person who is right there; confused perhaps but willing to begin helping the process of change. This is where I come to you for help, advice, guidance, conviction in what I’m sharing. So hopefully,  you’ll read on a bit then give it some thought. If this article in anyway makes you believe there is a way to begin changing what the past has lead us to today, then please pass it on to just one friend and let’s get this party started!! Thanks much ~~

‘ Always believe anything is possible with you in the ACTIVE equation’ ~~ trish mcknight

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Throughout these past four years now I’ve been networking and connecting with other resources of help. Thankfully I’ve found many across the country here in the U.S. but also in many other parts of the world who are speaking out, supporting survivors, providing ways in which studies can be conducted, reports published and voices discussing the deep impact of trauma left in the aftermath of those who’ve endured continuously dysfunctional, deviate or harmful attacks. Think of the perceptions of life you would develop and the behaviors you would pass on to your kids. You may know a young parent dealing with this today.

In having the Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio Network, we have talked with hundreds who’ve been interviewed by myself and other hosts.  All of these person’s have shared the path of self destruction from these types of personal trauma. Keep in mind that most often it is so extreme and so habitual that it is because of a need to survive this person’s wires would automatically adapt to the environment and the behavior of those around them. As once one of these victims I can say that the worst possible part of all those years growing up in pure evil; not one other single adult who had the ability and the training to notice the severe neglect; all those who knew about the trafficking, and those who were close family friends who witnessed it all or heard all the stories shared over the kitchen table about the parties with ‘Trecia Ann’, there were many who knew but not one of these person’s felt that I mattered enough to protect or help in some  way. This is extreme societal abandonment & judgment of a child.

How many children do we have living in this type of life pattern at this very moment? If you think real hard about things you see and the behaviors of others around you, there is a very good chance that you know someone who is trying to pretend nothing horrible is going on.

We can not accept that one more child be abandoned to live in their nightmare. I believe our duty is to educate and continue to discuss how the repeated patterns within our family occur. It becomes our ‘NORMAL’, the constant harm is how we see the world and we don’t expect things to change, yet we somehow know inside that its wrong. The victim grows and their behaviors are often a repeated pattern from what they endured, so this all gets passed on generation after generation. I’m witnessing today how it all impacted the lives of my children and grandchildren. We know that as we become adults it all has to change, it must end somewhere for us or we will surely explode. This is probably where all the psycho serial killers begin.

What if we tried something NEW???

We have been accepting and discussing many changes in our human society. Acceptance, ending bullying & school violence is at the top of everyone’s list. Here is our chance to influence a better way for our children. We can teach the new generation a better way, just as we have already begun to do in many communities around the world; influence a more humane and protective way to view the world around them. Think of the influence it would make if you were to stand up to your family members, not in a rage over what has happened in the past, but instead what you will not allow to happen today. Tell them you have learned what harm occurs to a child’s development when left to grow up in pain and having to keep dirty little secrets. We know what it feels like to be so isolated in the control of your household monster. We have already been there and we will not be quiet while it all continues to happen and destroy another generation; especially when it comes to your own children.

Choose to tell your friends about the choice you made and how you want to make sure we are watching out for all the kids in our circle. Today you choose change. You are your ‘FAMILY DEFENDER’!!

What is a ‘FAMILY DEFENDER’ and how do you become one?

Visit our website at www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com . Please scroll to near the bottom of the page, you will find a contract; ‘BECOME YOUR FAMILY DEFENDER’.On this contract you are providing your signature and making a commitment to change; to be brave enough to end the repeated pattern of harm which occurs in our homes, floods into our streets and is destroying the SAFETY of our children in their schools. Our kids are being bombarded everyday with all types of criminal and deviate behaviors, look on the net and you will see the world our children live in. I’ve seen Youtube displays of torture and explicit sexual contact between our children and adults.

Think about the fact we all only have Six Degrees of Separation between any one person. This means someone knows that child. Someone knows these adults. Someone out there may even suspect or have been a victim of these same adults previously. Someone Knows!!

This is a sincere plea to all those persons who follow my writings about these topics and for the many thousands who support, share and like what is being done through our team at Butterfly Dreams. You can meet each of them by visiting our website, where you’ll also find their links. Take a look at our incredible Board Members, which we are grateful for the outstanding persons they are in their special arena. Review the local training & active support ‘Trish’ is building within her own small community. These are amazing resources, which have the ability to reach out further and encourage our society to take the ‘Family Defender’ pledge. This is a state of mind and if we are going to live in a world of freedom for all person’s then we must provide the tools and commitment to protect those who do not have a voice; those who are forced to live in what are the presumed innocent behaviors within our family unit.

If you’ve read this article and feel you are ready to begin change in your own circle, please visit our website and make the choice today, TAKE THE PLEDGE & BECOME YOUR OWN FAMILY DEFENDER!!

You hold the power of change in your hands, you can create its path and influence its growth. What pattern of human behaviors do you want to teach?

Here are some excellent resource links to share what our FBI VICTIMS ASSISTANCE, COMMUNITY OUTREACH, VIOLENT CRIMES AGAINST CHILDREN, and TRAFFICKING OF MINORS divisions are doing across the country. Also a link for you to learn your VICTIMS RIGHTS, no matter what type of crime is committed against you. These are your constitutional rights under national law in the United States. You can have these rights enforced for any criminal actions committed against you, even Identity Fraud, Online Bullying, and other such acts.

Here in Clinton County, Illinois I am continually reaching out to let people know who I am, what I do and why I make the choice to be active against these horrific violent acts against own family members; worst of all being the continuous behaviors of tolerance and victim abandonment. Will you decide to support & protect those who are unable to speak up, fight back, or protect themselves from their household monster? Begin an active change for our decent human morality and begin with the attached pledge. I do hope those hundreds of members in our Talk Radio Group and the thousands on my friends list will help us out here. Please be brave enough to tell the monsters ‘NO’.

Take the pledge to become your FAMILY DEFENDER.

Thank you

May you always be safe & live strong

Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight

Contact me direct by emailing: butterflydreamsteam@live.com

In case someone you know is being harmed right now, please contact 911 or your local emergency response. Make the right choice!!!

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For more information about our government resources please contact www.fib.gov

 

Broken Parents creating Broken Children

 

IMG_6807 Through this writing I hope to touch the heart of just one family, just one broken parent or confused child, to believe in hope. I hope that in some way, through my voice and the hundreds of others, we as a society can provide a resource within every community to help families deal directly with these issues, rather than turning away, passing judgment, placing blame, and ignoring the signs we have learned can lead to something much worse; look deeper than the surface and heal the broken souls within.

This is what happens when broken children become broken parents without anyone willing to notice or help provide the resources and support they need to mend their family unit. This is the part I cannot stress enough, which should be so important in our society today; healing the parents to empower their ability to protect & guide their children with love, patience, understanding and most of all without the threat of sexual contact stealing away their child’s inner being.

There is a very large piece of the puzzle which I cannot speak about publicly in detail, because it is not my story to tell; it is the inner lives of my children and grandchildren. Many of you have heard me share about the dysfunction which continues to invade my bloodline; the 3rd generation touched by the evil which so many witnessed, permitted and some even took part in a long time ago.

 Those many adults in the small community of Freeburg decided I wasn’t a harmed child, I was just a whore!! Sadly I was just a kid forced to endure his evil, her disregard & severe neglect; all those years abandoned within a house of hell!!

They trained me you know. Mona & Malcolm both; they trained me to believe I was not even human. If they would have forced me to eat from the dog’s bowl, which I’m really surprised they didn’t; it could not have been any more evil in that house. You may not have been aware of just how cruel it was on the inside, but that which many of you did witness would be enough to hopefully alarm any neighbor, family friend, educator or police force today. However, it still amazes me how many children still fall through the cracks of our distorted perceptions of what is allowed within the family unit.

Today all my nightmares are history and despite the deep scarring effect, it only matters because of how that which was permitted against a little girl way back then, twisted the child’s thoughts, decision process, and perception of what was to be accepted & tolerated within her life; leaving a broken dysfunctional mess who went from one abuser to the next looking for love and acceptance, then had children in the mix of her own adult confusion.

 Well today the dysfunction left behind still invades the lives of my grandchildren in some form and that makes me angry, hurt, sad.

In all honesty I didn’t think I’d ever be able to get pregnant. After all those years of unprotected sex, internal injury from multiple rapes; worst of all being the shotgun barrel he used when I was twelve. Then there was all the ongoing years without any medical care or cleaning, how could I have expected to ever have children? Really I didn’t think God considered me worthy of being a ‘mom’ but in the end He did and they are still the three most cherished gifts I’ve ever been given.

When I begin to look inside myself during these past years of healing. The hardest part was accepting how what I had allowed and the decisions I made in my broken adult self, had effected the healthy development of my children and their sense of what a stable secure life was really like. There were many years of painful abuse & violence which distorted my views and until I was 35 years old, I seriously didn’t even know there were places of help who would have given us safe shelter and provided me with a beginning start on life skills to better handle things.

My children were stuck going through the physical rule and verbal degradation of their father, then the wrath of their stepfather for another four years before I was strong enough to take a chance and break away from my ‘normal’; the only way of life I had ever known. I wasn’t sure I could handle providing what my young children needed to survive. Housing, food, clothing, school it was all a terrifying thought, but I absolutely had to take that chance if I ever wanted them to know some sense of family love without harm.

Today we often ask; ‘Why does that abused parent stay when they are being harmed, beaten, almost murdered? We blame that parent rather than see their broken distorted views of what life and family is all about.  You wouldn’t even begin to imagine how well I was trained to believe this type of thing was all I deserved. In truth this type of brutal cruelty was the only ‘normal’ I ever knew.

The tolerance, the need for wanting to be loved, the sense that I wasn’t capable of providing my kids the life they deserved, that I couldn’t survive without a partner in my life, the desperate need for someone to ‘love’ me and just accept me lasted through twenty years and six different men. The abuse covered absolutely every form and exploded on many different levels. I just cannot explain the full impact this ended up having on my children’s lives.

 How many other children and families are dealing with this same cycle of pain passing through their lives today? We can only take the statistical information and multiply it by what Congress has stated; ‘For every one report that is made at least six others are not’. Think about the HUGE number of families and victims who never report a single attack against them, and the children who have no voice at all in their home.

What of those who are like me; abandoned and left to believe it was all they deserve and no one will ever care, so why should they ever reach out for help or bother with making a report? What of those broken parents who believe they will have their children whisked away because of the violence and abuse they continue to tolerate? We need to provide resources so they can heal their own lives, then help them become the parents they need to be, responsible & protective, nurturing & gentle.

My greatest guilt is that I didn’t realize the wounded impact it would have on their lives as they grew up, even though we had broken away and had our own house of safety, filled with a family bond, love, laughter, and no exploding violence. 

Although my children may admit they knew I loved them, or they may even remember the treats, special holidays, birthdays and other such events filled with many moments of laughter, love, and family bonding; our lives were chaos from my emotional stresses, the wounding left from all those decades of violence mixed with the lack of life skills to keep us going. Needless to say most of their good memories are outweighed by the disruption of violence or emotional dysfunction within their home. The relationship I have with my adult children is still very broken; it is all so crisscrossed with the insane aftermath of what happened way back when.

Today my greatest worry is my grandchildren? Are they going to live knowing what it’s like to really be safe and be at peace within their homes? Will their lives be stable or will they grow within the invasion of the ongoing cycle of dysfunction? Sadly, I know this answer as I’ve seen how its already played out in their early lives, but I pray there will be someone who can help me convince my children of how deep this ugly nightmare bleeds into our family and the need for them to find a way to face the truth of their own need to heal. I’m constantly worrying about their decisions and what I know they already accept in their relationships, the sacrifices they lay on their children rather than listening to the pleas of their mother to connect with the resources I give them and heal themselves; become the parents their children deserve before there is serious harm and they have to face the same child/parent crisis I deal with today.

Do you think they will ever understand why I have chosen to be the strong voice against abuse that I’ve worked so hard to become today? Do you think they understand how it all connects together and until they heal their wounds, accept their own faults as much as their abilities; only then can they become the truly capable parents their children need? Will they ever understand how it breaks my heart to know there is nothing more I can do to help them, that today it is all in their adult hands and they lay out the future for how it will effect their children’s normal growth, development and possible success in life?  The truth is that the more I beg them to look at their lives and decisions, their choices and feelings, and how it all impacts their children’s lives, this is usually when they become tempered with me or they cut me out altogether.

Sadly, as I look at this deep set disconnection with my children all I can do is cry. It rips my heart apart and shreds me of any desire to continue moving forward at all. I want to break into pieces, I want to hide in the darkness, I want to scream out ‘I LOVE YOU’, but I know the depth of that love will never be heard. It is a tragedy I hope none of you have to bare, but for those many broken parents like me it is almost a certainty. Today I am so tired of this screwed up insane disconnection to the three persons who had given me a reason to live.  How I long for them to understand the strength it took for me to take that chance and escape the violent life, buy us a house, and then be even stronger to get rid of the different abusers who would follow. Isn’t it time they found some level of compassion for the woman who did her best to create a safe home for them, instill decency and good values, made sure we had dinner together every night, attended school functions with great pride in their accomplishments and some special treat for their efforts; the one who kept them believing in their dreams even when others told them it was a waste of time.

It feels as if nothing will earn me the compassion and forgiveness from my children, not their understanding or simple love for the mother I tried to be then and the woman I am still becoming today. I cannot wish away the mess of yesterday nor can I be the one who heals their wounds today. They are broken, they are enduring the aftermath of those once tolerated acts of their mother.. They are treading water trying to figure out why they can’t get out of the mess or how in the hell they ended up there in the first place? Now I can only suggest ways for them to work through things, provide resource contacts as I would for anyone, or be the one to hear their cries over the phone. They are adults now and it is time for them to take on their own adult responsibilities. It is time to release me from the sole blame for all that went wrong, and let go of the brainwashing forced into their heads so long ago. It is time for them to mend their ways, accept their own wrong behaviors & decisions, and begin giving their children the lives they deserve.

This share is for all of the parents who carry the heartbreak of how their own wounding that has cycled into their children’s lives despite all their efforts to change and protect, love & guide. This is what we as a society must begin to accept today if we hope to help end this ongoing insanity and life altering impact of family violence & dysfunction in our children’s lives. Can we continue allowing it to go on without addressing the deep rooted truth? We continue to learn through the many hundreds sharing their history of wicked torture and dysfunction, that what happens within our own family can often be the most evil danger our children will ever experience. I hope we can learn from these many incredible survivors of hell.

Thanks so much to those who help me make it through with your positive hope and the friendships I’ve built. Blessings to the wounded souls of yesterday. May our families heal and this be the end of the ever present ongoing destruction that cycles through our generations. Believe that you can be the beginning of change within your family unit. I wish you peace and inner balance to mend the wounds of our past and provide the healing hope many families are in need of today. 

Dream big, expect miracles, and never accept anything less than love & safety

Thank you  bdarBANNER

©Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

Fndr/CEO: Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight

Crisis Support/Mentor/Key Note Speaker/Radio Host/Author

‘My Justice’ Finally sharing the voice stolen away so long ago.

http://www.butterflydreamsabuserecovery.com

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio

http://www.Shopping4Survivors.com

www.facebook.com/triciagirl62

~~Always believe anything is possible with you in the active equation~~

Butterfly Dreams Needs Your Help

Dear friends;                               

Last November, ‘Trish’ McKnight & Michal Madison began developing their creation of Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery & Talk Radio Broadcasting. This began as a sincere friendship built from the lives of two very different, yet very similar, child abuse & domestic violence survivors. While Michal & Trish came from two very different families; Michal’s the perfect Christian family, prominent within the community and viewed as a wonderful family unit by everyone who knew them, Trish’s family was known by everyone as dysfunctional with a feared stepfather and a mother who played herself as a woman trapped in his ugliness with three children. However, if you know Trish’s history and what she shares so much about today, she carried & waved every red flag she could possibly bare as to the warning signs of something much darker on the inside of her home.

Michal & Trish chose to provide a way to touch a few lives and give a path of hope & healing support throughout many arenas, so that they could better assist the victims & survivors who were reaching out to them. In building the website & talk radio programs it is our team’s true wish to provide trusted enlightenment & empowerment for communities, families, victims & survivors to provide a full list of resources to better aide the rescue & recovery within your own neighborhoods.

Well Butterfly Dreams has far exceeded our expectations of what we had even dreamed possible. There have been at least a hundred or more who have been helped by the one on one consultations and advice from Trish’s learned knowledge, which she has spent the last Five Years trying to become her own self studied expert in providing the very best support and guidance of developing safety plans, watching our for our kids, helping victims & others within our community, dealing with P.T.S.D., the battles of depression, and challenging ourselves to rise above the pain of the crimes to see a chance at life & happiness on the other side. Michal is now a trusted Art Therapy consultant who volunteers her time specifically with children who have been or are being harmed, so that they can break out of the shell of emotions and begin to laugh, shine, and be a child again. There have been many hundreds who have used and shared our website as a resource of help and suggested it out to those in their circles. Our fast growing talk radio programs have reached over 33,000 listens in only the past 10 months.

Thankfully, many of you have sent us over your testimonials and posted them out on various groups and we sincerely appreciate all of the incredible support & friendship that has been extended our way. Now we have decided to apply for the official nonprofit status 501c3 so that we can become a recognized ETHICAL, TRUSTED, & TRANSPARENT RESOURCE for the many who are suffering today.

WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!

Our original promised funding for the growth which was promised turned out to be a false hope. We are now left with the only option of reaching our for your assistance, and this is not something we like to ask of you, but in order to maintain what we are already doing & grow with resources, connections, supporters, and new programs to help us reach further out into; we truly have no choice. If you would like to help us achieve this goal – PLEASE – visit our website where you will find the official Paypal ‘DONATE’ option. Any amount you donate, even a single one dollar, is sincerely appreciated. Below you will find a full list of where we will be using any and all donations.

Here is a list of what you can expect to see from your assistance in donations:

1) Official Application & Development of Non-Profit 501©3 Status

2) Help us to provide the continued efforts of one on one consultations

3) Dr. Brenda to provide discounted or no-cost counseling services to those who cannot otherwise afford or get to resources.

4) Provide supplies for Michal Madison to continue Art Therapy Services for children affected by abuse and/or violence

5) Development of Survivors World Community Support Group beginning in Trish’s home location of Breese, Illinois

6) Continued Prime Time Radio Broadcast community outreach educational & enlightenment self help programs

7) Provide special printing for Training & Support Materials used in speaking/training services or seminars

8) Provide continued growth and development for the website of Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery

9) Aid in funding for special reports & surveys to provide further similarities in abuse and/or violence survivors, looking into the documented publications of the lifelong issues of emotional & physical health impacts from these types of trauma

10) Help us to continue our work in providing and building resources around the world to allow everyone to reclaim their self worth, live their dreams, and finally live free from the life altering impacts of these crimes, as well as aide in the emergency provision of services to victims, survivors, & families dealing with some form of past or present abuse or violence today.

Our Board of Directors are the very best in their field of Children & Youth Services, Legal Professionals, Mental Health & Family Therapy Services. You can rest assured of our constant and complete transparent provision of services with your much appreciated donations.

Founder/CEO: Patricia ‘Trish’ McKnight

Co-Founder/COO: Michal Madison

Chairman of the Board of Directors: Ms. Dana Hoffman – Professional Legal Researcher, Children’s Youth Services

2nd Chair – Honorable Judge Mary Elizabeth Bullock – PENDING ACCEPTANCE

Dr. Brenda Joyce Orozco Markert-Green – Owner/CEO, Afterglow Counseling, Mediation & Family Therapy Services; Mental Health/Family Therapy Educator

Mr. Robert Tschannen – Treasury Officer

Mr. Brett Sanders – Technology/Website Officer

Advisory Member – Ms. Lynn Tolson – Author/Advocate/Survivor; Project for T.E.A.R.S.

Advisory Member – Ms. Barbara Ochoa – Founder/CEO: PlunaFoundation, Help4Guys

Please visit Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery for Mission Statement, Testimonials, Code of Ethics Policy; Conflict of Interest Policy; Release of Liability Statement

Our family of Butterfly Angels who assist with supporting, sharing, and are support members in our live radio chatrooms:

Dawna Larsen – Admin Director – Abuse Survivors & Victims United

Debbie Naylor Cox – Admin. Director – Abuse Survivors & Victims United

Mary E. Graziano – Admin Director – Abuse Survivors & Victims United

Patricia Caldwell Singleton – Admin Director – Abuse Survivors & Victims United

**Abuse Survivors & Victims United is a Facebook Online Support Group, please contact one of these admin directors for guidelines and interest at becoming a member.**

From ‘Trish’, Michal, Dr. Brenda, and all the Board Members of Butterfly Dreams we sincerely appreciate all of our wonderful family & friends, supporters & partners in ending the generational impact of what has already become mankind’s worst travesty, the pain inflicted on our partners, spouses, and especially our children. Thank you!!